#cuz she doesnt really seem to have any of the same self hatred as michael
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thinking about helen distortion again
#something i really love about her is how different she is from michael#cuz like. michael was forced into being the distortion (and vice versa ofc)#but helen found her way into it on her own#no help no map nothing like that#she just did#and she embodies more of the direct lying of the distortion more than michael did (from what we are shown anyways)#so i wonder how much of her life she spent lying to herself and/or the world#that convo she has w jon in the tunnels sticks out to me especially cuz shes like#“yeah. realized i wasnt going to stop eating people so i stopped caring”#did michael have the same feeling? part of me thinks no not really#at least not in the same way#michael as the distortion always describes himself w such contempt#he didn't want to be michael. and i don't think michael wanted to be the distortion either#i wonder how much helen denied what she was before just accepting it#cuz she doesnt really seem to have any of the same self hatred as michael#maybe becoming helen gave it back its purpose#maybe bcuz it happened “naturally” (finding her way into being the distortion) instead of having someone forced into it#here i go rambling again#helen distortion#sidenote but I do wish that bith distortions got more fucked up laughing in tbh#the sound makes me brain buzz /pos
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