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asirenspeaks · 7 years

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Summer 17 necessities : Maja’s Very Own Organic Mosquito Repellent

“Pretend I’m not here” I told Maja as I placed my nikon in her face (Yes, flash and all). After she posed for me while still holding her wine glass, (yes, kindred spirits) I focused my attention on her products. It was a Sunday afternoon, and she helped me arrange the products into a flatlay, flipping switches on and off to cast the perfect lighting. It had been raining cats and dogs on and off since the spring in Atlanta, and the constant heat and humidity created the perfect conditions for mosquitoes to flourish. The mosquitoes were clearly out here eating and living good while we either a) hide out indoors b) get bit up c) try chemical bug sprays and still get bit up and now also stink in addition to being bit up and itchy. Those worries are now a thing of the past, thanks to Maja’s Very Own. Now if you’ve been here before, you know I’m no stranger to chemical free living (in most ways, still working on others) so I was over the moon when Maja let me purchase some of her MVO organic mosquito repellent before the shop launched. I tested it the best way I know , I used it when I went to Florida for mother’s day weekend (Florida mosquitoes are a whole different level of terrible). Not only did I return to Atlanta unbitten, but my family loved it too, mostly because it didn’t have that yucky chemical smell and stickiness most repellents give.

Maja’s Very Own, is the true definition of an entrepreneurial effort. She is a one woman show, from expertly mixing her butters and oils, down to the labels that she designed herself. I had purchased before the labels were created, so I enjoyed admiring the intricate flowers the California native artist created. They are simple and effective, much like the product itself.

Get to know Maja , the artist and creator of Maja’s Very Own below.

Tell me about how Maja's very Own started.

My thoughts of developing a mosquito repellent started when I knew I’d be moving back to the South. I lived in South Carolina for 8 years and there I found out I was highly allergic. Living there was miserable because 4-5 months out the year I couldn’t step out the house passed a certain hour in fear of being bit. I would swell so bad, and I even developed MRSA from being bitten before. I was determined to enjoy my new move because it was a new chapter in my life, and I didn’t want to limit myself. So I did my fav thing ever and google researched anything I could regarding mosquitoes and how to naturally repel them. I knew there had to be plants that worked, I hated the smell of OFF! And anything with DEET. Even if they add a “flowery” smell to those products, it smells horrible. It’s nothing but chemicals. I’m a self-proclaimed black hippy lol and want nothing to do with such things. I made my first batch summer ’16, it was a small personal bottle just to try things out. I was my own guinea pig and saw it worked for a little while but I still would get bit and would have to load up on benedryl to avoid using my Epi-Pen. But summer 17 was going to be my summer. I started my health journey, finally settled into southern living and really wanted to see what ATL had to offer. By doing more research I found better oils and remedies that might help so I threw some things together and would try them out and finally found a mix that worked and smelled good. Fortunately this time around friends and family tested it to make sure it worked for different people who have a different body chemistry than I do. Whala ! Maja’s Very Own. I wanted to have fun with it, so making it wouldn’t feel like or become a job, I already have one of those. That’s why there are Drake references in my description, someone told me I was “too urban” for those but clearly they didn’t get it was an MVO ting ayyyee lmao plus who doesn’t love a little Aubrey Drake in their life?… life is to enjoy and why not enjoy what you do?

When you realized you could turn your own personal remedy into a business, did you have any fears along the way ? If so , how did you overcome them ?

I originally wasn’t going to sell it or even mention it. It was the push from family that gave me the courage to start bottling it. I have a hard time putting myself out there I’m very introverted unless I know you personally. It worked so well for family I was like fuck it why not, what do I have to lose? Yes, it’s pricey but not only will I be helping myself but others. As soon I made mention of it on my FB people were messaging me telling me they have the same problem and they hate the mass produced products as well.

My main fear was the cost to do everything, because everything I used I made sure was organic, pure and naturally sourced. We all know organic isn’t cheap, but I took the leap anyway because I believe in what I’m doing. I truly believe that as long as you try to do what you whole heartedly believe in you’ll never fail because you tried. You come out a winner because you learned something by simply trying. Plus i'm beyond fortunate because my family supports everything I do, I couldn't ask for anything more than that. they're my cheerleaders even when I fail, they understand the importance of being an entrepreneur, especially being a woman and black, how important that is. I want my brothers see me try and fail or succeed, and know they don't have to keep working for someone else funding another's dream. You can put time into your own and build an empire. It'll take time, and i'm not saying I'll be hugely successful, but until my last breath I'm going to use the gifts God gave me and keep trying. Just having my younger brothers tell me they're going to step out of their comfort zone to try something because they see me trying is everything, or having my mom and grandmothers tell me they're proud of me having the courage to constantly put myself out there. I don't care if I sell nothing else,lol that's the most rewarding thing i've ever experienced. I'll forever submit my artwork to galleries or shows and keep making stuff in the kitchen just because of those things right there.

What are some of the challenges you faced initially as a small business owner?

Money… lmao point blank, everything else comes pretty easy for me. At a random job I had I learned design so I design all my labels, thank you inserts and banners for my Etsy. I’m also an artist so I pay serious attention to detail, almost borderline OCD lol

Also because of that I kind of get anxiety wondering if people like what I’m sending them. Along with the product I send a general thank you, but I also send a handwritten note that I appreciate them and I believe in giving back to the Earth we take from daily. I enclose wildflowers, lavender and a few other seeds for them to plant personally or just spread somewhere so in a small way we help stabilize our bee population because we need them. Without the bees I won’t be able to continue making the product even if it’s just for myself and never sell another bottle, the fruits we eat or anything for that matter. We have to give back in some type of way, it's small but it’s something. My black hippy ish lmao

Do you plan on expanding your product line in the future ?

I do actually last summer on top of making me a spray I also made repellent infused jewelry which I was hella surprised it worked! I forgot to spray myself and just had on my bangles and earrings and never got bit. Also beside the spray I also have a rub I made. I think people tend to shy away from the rub because it’s the summer but in the summer we still need lotion with this hard ATL water lol. I use that in place of my lotion everyday just as extra protection because I myself have even forgotten to spray myself down before walking out and regret it as soon as I feel a slight burn then welt somewhere. It's lighter than you’d think and moisturizes your skin so well because of the Shea and coconut oil. Still smells really good which a main focus was. You can wear either spray or rub along w your fav oil or perfume and it won’t be overbearing. But yea jewelry is the next move.

You can purchase Maja’s product at here etsy shop here. You can also keep up with her on instagram. I highly recommend her products, not only to support small owned black businesses, but because you can’t slay all seasons 17 when you’re swollen and itchy .

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gingerreckoning · 6 years

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We Need to Talk More

Originally written in September of 2015

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and it really comes at an important time for me this year. Over the past few months I have really taken control of my mental health, and I am in a really great place. Probably in a better place than I have been in years, if ever. While it feels amazing, it is also a little bit scary, because the happiness I feel right now, the solidity, purpose, and hope I'm currently experiencing, is so deeply contrasted against the dismay I was feeling only a few months ago. It's like when your eyes adjust to the darkness... You think you are seeing okay until someone flips on the light and you realize how wrong everything was. This isn't a recent struggle for me. I started exhibiting symptoms of my depression around 15 years old. My parents chalked a lot of it up to my being moody, mostly writing it off as typical teenage antics. I'm not exactly sure when it became something more than that, but my mom whisked me off to the psychiatrist, who put me on a low dose antidepressant. That worked for several years. I certainly still had bad days, but all in all things were well managed with 10mg of prozac every day. A small price to pay for sanity during my teenage years, when I look back on it. But I certainly felt embarrassed by it. There were definitely people making me feel that way. Suggestions swirled around me, making me feel incompetent. Why couldn't I just suck it up? Everyone has bad days. Why was I being so dramatic? Didn't I feel like I was getting enough attention? All of those things ate at me slowly, like an acid, burning me layer by layer. I recall very clearly the first time I thought about committing suicide. It was New Year's Eve. 2005. I was 17 and we were in Orlando, Florida. We had taken a family trip to Disney World. Maybe that's why I remember it so clearly, the stark contrast between the most magical place on earth and my feelings of unending hopelessness. I was in a hotel room with my brothers, my parents were in a room next door with my sisters. I was feeling incredibly low. I had no energy and the stress of pretending I did was beginning to crush me. My dad had just finished scolding me. In his mind the reason I was so mopey was because I was missing my boyfriend. Again, it was being chalked up to teenage angst. In his defense, I'm not sure I could have identified it as anything else on my own either. I was taking my medication as prescribed, so surely that was enough to render me "un-depressed." But I didn't feel that way. I felt alone. I felt hopeless and hated and angry. I kept looking around the room, trying to determine exactly what I could do about it. I remember unpacking bottles of tylenol and benedryl and wondering just how many I would have to take to fix this problem. I'm not sure why I didn't. I don't really remember that part of it clearly. A few days later we went back home and everything went back to normal. During my senior year of high school I opted to increase my medication to 20mg. Stress seemed to be hitting me harder, and I felt like I needed more help. A simple increase was enough to fend off the anxiety and sadness and I was glad for the little bit of help. I was headed off to college, I had broken up with my boyfriend, and I was feeling like a new woman. I think the end of my senior year and the summer after were really happy times for me. I moved away to college, and I think that's when my mental health started its down hill trajectory. I didn't take care of myself. I was inconsistent at best with my medication. I was stressed out and chose to fix that by burying myself in my studies. I began to self-harm again when I became particularly stressed out. I would have complete breakdowns at least every two months, where I would sob for hours, sleep for about 13 hours, drag myself to class looking like a mess, then begin the process over again. But I convinced myself that I had it under control. I knew myself and I knew my limits, so clearly I was managing. Upon my graduation, I visited my doctor and proudly declared that I did not need my medication because I had it handled. About a month later I was pregnant with Nathan. Halfway through my pregnancy I realized that I was not fine and I needed help. I was angry all of the time, I was having complete meltdowns about simple things, far past normal pregnant mood swings. I remember one night, laying curled up in a ball in the middle of the living room, completely unable to move or speak, just sobbing. During one of my routine appointments I brought it up with my doctor and she put me back on my 20mg of Prozac. There was some risk to the child, she explained, but certainly in my case it was less than the risk I was posing to myself. She also explained that my history of depression put me at increased risk of postpartum depression. You see your doctor once after you have a baby, 6 weeks after you are released from the hospital. That is the extent of the the care that is required. During that appointment, you are screened for postpartum depression using what is called the Edinbugh Post Natal Depression Scale. It includes statements like "I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things went wrong" and "I have been anxious or worried for no good reason," which then are rated and scored to test for depression. I'm sure that the screening means well. But I find it sort of silly. When I am deep in the throes of depression, I don't feel like I'm blaming myself unnecessarily. It seems completely reasonable. In addition, six weeks postpartum is incredibly early to diagnose depression. I know very few people who felt it set in that quickly. Mine hit at about 4 months postpartum. I don't fully even remember how I knew, but I remember talking to Dan and saying "I need to do something." I had been dealing with it long enough to know the signs, and I was headed down the wrong path. A visit with my doctor, and another increase in meds. 40mg of Prozac daily, and I was doing fine. I continued that way through my next pregnancy. Again, I passed my postnatal exam with flying colors. This baby was much easier. She slept better, she was an expert at breastfeeding, she was growing and happy and perfect. I was nailing the mom thing. I had two kids, but my house was clean, I was working, and my marriage was great. And just then just like that it wasn't. I started feeling agitated. I wasn't sleeping. Then I was sleeping all the time. I stopped showering. I got up, nursed the baby, then went back to bed. I didn't feel like doing anything. Another trip to the doctor. She explained that pregnancy had changed my body, and perhaps I was no longer responding to the medication as I had in the past. She switched me to a low dose of Zoloft, and asked to see me in a month. Over the course of the next two years, I was in to see my doctor almost every month. I was having panic attacks. I had migraines. I was crying. I was angry. I was falling apart. I don't think I can count how many times I contemplated suicide. I was losing myself slowly to this dark monster, and despite my best efforts, I saw no end to it. I was doing everything I was supposed to, but I couldn't gain control. And that was the scariest part. I was taking my medication. I was talking to my doctor about my concerns. But I wasn't getting better. We kept increasing my medication, trying to find the right balance to treat both my ongoing depression and my newly realized anxiety. I was fighting tooth and nail to keep my head above water, but lying to everyone around me about just how bad it was. I was self medicating when I could. I had been given hydrocodone to treat my migraines since I was still nursing and nothing else was really safe. I began making up excuses to take it, suggesting that my back was really bothering me, or my sciatica was particularly bad. I just wanted to be numb for a little bit. I couldn't find a way to be happy, but at least I could stop hurting. Certainly I knew it wasn't right. But I wasn't getting relief any other way. I was doing the things my doctor told me to do, but I wasn't getting better. I was looking for anything to make it okay. My thoughts were constantly turning to ways to fix this deep, dark smoke that was billowing up around me. I contemplated suicide over and over again. The one thread that was holding me to reality was my baby. I kept telling myself that if I died, if I took my own life, she wouldn't be able to eat. Simply put, I couldn't kill myself because I didn't have enough breast milk stored up in the freezer. I continued not to sleep for ages. I would get a few hours, then wake up in cold sweat with my mind racing. I couldn't fall back to sleep. I was constantly on edge. I was having panic attacks nearly daily. A year into my official treatment for this problem and I still wasn't getting better. Eventually Eleanor stopped nursing. She was about a year and a half at that point. I was able to start taking something to combat the anxiety, an immediate release medication to calm me during panic attacks. I was given 0.5mg of Ativan, along with my Zoloft, which was up to 75mg at that point. Since I was no longer nursing, I could start drinking again. Not heavily, but certainly more frequently. I would have a drink every night after the kids went to bed. Anything to calm my nerves and slow things down. During this time everything came crashing down. My job situation fell apart due to company wide changes. I had to reapply and re-interview for a position that I had held for 9 years. They were insisting that everyone start working full time. I knew that we couldn't afford the daycare for that, and quite frankly, I knew that I couldn't handle that. I spiraled even deeper. At one point I met with my doctor and tried to explain things as best I could. One of the standard questions they ask about depression is "Do you think things will get better?" I was adamant that they wouldn't. Sure, we might find a treatment that keeps this black monster at bay. But for how long? This wasn't a rain cloud, some external force ruining my day. This thing was inside of me. It had always been there. It would always be there. Certainly I could fight it down, lock it in a cave for some unknown period of time. But it would always be there. Finally, we tried a new medication, immediately titrating up to a higher dose. If you are keeping track, this would mark the sixth medication change since Eleanor's birth, just under two years of fighting. And that was what it was-fighting. Every step of the way. Fighting to get myself out of bed. Fighting to get dressed. Fighting to take care of my family. Fighting to get to work. Fighting to keep my job. Fighting for my life. It was exhausting. And that is really the thing about mental health- it takes everything to function an even a basic level, much less advocating for yourself, which is what is really needed for quality treatment in most cases. If I hadn't been aware of myself and how I behave when my depression worsens, what symptoms really manifest, it could have been much worse. I was doing everything I was supposed to, following up with my doctor, taking my prescribed medication, all of it. And I was still struggling. How can we expect people around us who are suffering to just be okay? We eventually found the right dose and medication. I take 20mg of Lexapro daily. It keeps me sane. When I'm off of medication I'm very insistant that I don't need it, that I shouldn't have to take a pill every day to feel normal, that maybe-just maybe- unmedicated me is the real version of me. But when I'm back on the medication I realize that one pill a day is a small price to pay to feel like a whole person. I'm doing much better now. In November of last year I began the process of getting an ADHD diagnosis. This involved more fighting for myself- weeks of phone calls to different offices, being told they weren't taking new patients, being told that I had been added to a wait list only to find out that I hadn't, requesting to get medication in the mean time until a diagnosis could be provided. In all it took about two months of phone calls to get an appointment scheduled, then another four months of waiting to get in, and a full month of appointments (one appointment per week for four weeks) to get a diagnosis. I got my official diagnosis in June. I am still working with a psychiatrist to adjust my medication to adequate levels, but I'm doing much better. I always thought I would turn down medication even if I did get a diagnosis, but I'm glad that I decided to accept the help being offered. This process alone has been life changing. I've learned that a lot of the behaviors that I've really been hard on myself about are part of my disease. I'm learning to deal with that. Moreover, I'm just learning to be gentle with myself. I know that sometimes I just need to take care of me. But there are certainly some sad realizations to come out of this. First, the realization that I will probably never be rid of this creeping black smoke. It will always reside somewhere inside of me. It is still deeply upsetting to me to think about that part of it. The thought that this will be a constant, lifelong struggle for me is very disheartening. In truth, it is the nexus of everything I feel when I am in that deep dark place. When the voice inside of my head is telling me that things will never get better, I know there is some small kernel of truth to it. I'm certainly not saying it won't get better at all. I can control my symptoms. I can live a fairly healthy, happy life. But I will never be cured. The second realization is that my family has likely grown as far as it ever will. I grew up in a big family. While there were many things I didn't like about being the oldest of five kids, I certainly could understand why someone would want a big family. When Dan and I discussed how many children we wanted I always envisioned two as my very lowest limit. Life is a funny thing that way. The universe cares very little for our grand plans. I love being a mom. It makes me insanely happy. It feels right. I love watching my children grow, I love helping to shape them. I love watching them become loving, empathetic beings who will do great things. It makes me sad to think that I won't feel a baby move inside me again, or feel a tiny being snuggled up to me in the middle of the night while I nurse. It's a very difficult thing to say that I, at only 26 years old, will not have any more children. In the end, however, I have a difficult choice to make. I have two beautiful, healthy, happy children who deserve everything I can give them. They deserve me at my best. I could have another baby. My body is capable. In doing that, though, I risk that baby, and my children now, not having a mother. I have spoken to my doctor about this. Research shows that if you have postpartum depression after your first child you are even more likely to have it after a second child. It does not seem that there is a lot of research on what happens beyond that. Would it necessarily be worse with a subsequent pregnancy? No one can really answer that for me. Only I can answer for what I am willing to risk. I don't think I could repeat the events of the previous two years. I certainly couldn't handle anything more than that. In addition, the medications that I am taking now to manage my symptoms are not safe for pregnancy, meaning I would have to forgo them completely or turn to an alternative, which is a very risky process. Being on the wrong medication or even the wrong dose can be worse than being on nothing at all. In the past few months, mostly since I have begun to really take hold of my life and feel like myself again, I have started to be more and more open with people about my struggle. As a woman, I am frequently asked about my plans for future children. I am very open with people. I think that often it makes them slightly uncomfortable. We live in a world where talking about mental health is taboo. But it shouldn't be. More importantly, it can't be. People are struggling. Life seems overwhelming and hopeless because of this disease. When we refuse to speak about it we are only furthering the loneliness and helplessness that people are already feeling. We are telling them that we don't care or that they need to deal with it on their own. It isn't right. We are losing people we care about because we are uncomfortable. This starts with our doctors. Medical professionals need to talk openly and honestly with people about mental health. I remember taking Nathan to one of his well child appointments. The doctor looked him over, measured and listened. Then, he turned to me and asked very clearly and openly if I was doing alright. I was surprised. Nathan sees a family practice physician, so he is able to treat adults and children, but he isn't my primary care doctor. He must have sensed my confusion because he went on to explain that his job was to take care of my child. Part of taking care of Nathan meant making sure that I was doing okay too, because if I wasn't taking care of myself, if I wasn't thriving, there was no way Nate would thrive. It really struck me, and continues to stick with me. Like I said before, the only visit I was really required to go to was my six week postpartum visit and my depression hadn't set in yet at that point; but I was taking my baby to the doctor every few months for check ups. It made perfect sense that the doctor would make sure I was doing okay then too. I honestly wish that more doctors would do this. I know many people take their children to see pediatricians, so perhaps treating mothers isn't in their wheelhouse, but a few simple questions could really save a life. It would be so simple for a doctor to suggest that the mother get herself checked out too. In those early days of caring for a child the doctor's word is so important. We also need to be talking to each other. In coming clean about my struggle I have gotten so many responses of "I had not idea you were going through all of that!" and "I knew something was up but I didn't want to say anything." Please say something! I wish more people had. I probably would have broken down, sobbed uncontrollably, making you terribly uncomfortable. But I needed people to acknowledge that I wasn't going crazy. During that time I felt like I was slowly losing my mind and I was trying desperately to hold on. I felt like I was the only one who had ever felt that way. I wanted just one person to say "I know how you feel." It would have meant the world. No, it would not have taken the place of quality medical care, of medication, of exercise, of therapy. But it would have helped. Certainly some people did say something, but for everyone that did, there were others that visibly cringed when I tried to bring up my anxiety or depression. I'm moving forward in my journey. I hope that things never feel that dark again. I'm taking steps to make sure that they don't. Part of that involves talking openly and honestly about the realities of my own mental health. It means discussing and realizing my own limitations. It means having a plan. I currently see a psychiatrist every few months to manage my medication. I will continue seeing her until I am on a steady, therapeutic dose of my ADHD medication. I also see my primary care doctor every three months for medication checks. I exercise at least a few times a week (I would like it to be more but the reality of life with two children and a job that requires an hour of driving each way gets in the way). I keep open lines of communication with my family about where I am at with my mental health. I am also looking into establishing a Power of Attorney for mental health. Much like any other POA document, it would grant someone guardianship in the event that I would be rendered unable to care for myself. I hope that it wouldn't be something I need, but it might. When I look back on the past two years I realize that there are plenty of red flags, many times that I probably should have been put in a hospital but I was stubborn and refused help that was offered to me, or lied to make my problems seem less severe because I knew that being inpatient probably was the best thing but I was scared. For someone like me it is very important to make preparations while I am healthy because when I am in that deep dark place I know that I cannot think clearly. There is hope for the future, but the reality is that it is a long and arduous journey. I'm just glad to have made it this far.

#adhd mentalhealth postpartum

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wavenetinfo · 7 years

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As the Bill Cosby sexual assault trial comes to a close in Pennsylvania after just one week, ABC News looks back at the extraordinary sequence of events that led to the public downfall and criminal prosecution of a man who was once one of America’s most beloved comedians.

Mid-Jan.–Mid-Feb. 2004 Bill Cosby allegedly sexually assaults Andrea Constand at his home in Cheltenham Township in Montgomery, Penn.

March 31, 2004 Constand leaves her position as Director of Operations for Temple University’s women’s basketball team and returns to Canada.

May 17, 2004 Cosby’s fiery speech about black America at an NAACP awards ceremony leads to a speaking tour dubbed “A Call Out With Bill Cosby” at college campuses and churches nationwide.

Jan. 13, 2005 Constand first tells her mother that Cosby had assaulted her after experiencing nightmares and a “flashback” that triggered her memory, according to court documents.

Jan. 22, 2005 Constand files a police report with Durham Regional Police outside Toronto, Canada — sparking a criminal investigation by Montgomery County detectives in Cheltenham.

Jan. 2005 At his attorney’s midtown Manhattan law office, Cosby is interviewed by Cheltenham Police Chief John Norris, who later told Vanity Fair that Cosby was “cooperative, congenial.” “He came in wearing the typical Cosby sweater,” he said. “I was asking the question, and I thought [Cosby] was a gentleman. I didn’t think he was evasive. He answered every question I put to him. He said it was a consensual sexual encounter. That summarizes it.”

Feb. 10, 2005 Tamara Green says in a television interview that Constand’s decision to file a police report against Cosby that sparked a very public criminal investigation prompted her to come forward with a similar allegation from the 1970s.

Feb. 17, 2005 Montgomery County District Attorney Bruce Castor Jr. issues a press release announcing his decision not to criminally prosecute Cosby.

March, 2005 Constand files a civil lawsuit against Cosby, and includes depositions from 13 women who say they, too, were sexually assaulted by Cosby over the years, as potential witnesses. Cosby later said in a deposition that his sexual encounter with Constand was consensual, and that the only drug he gave her was Benedryl. Cosby has denied ever sexually coercing anyone, but said some of the accusations were consensual encounters. His attorneys have charged that some of the women can’t remember the year the year of the alleged incidents, and in other cases can’t specifically recall being assaulted – only that they woke up feeling drugged. Prosecutors wanted to use these women’s testimony in the criminal trial, but the judge ruled that just one could testify. Until she took the stand as Kelly Johnson, she had been known only as “Kacey.”

June 23, 2005 Beth Ferrier, Jane Doe #5, has alleged publicly that during the course of what she has described as a brief affair with the entertainer in 1984 when she was modelling, Cosby drugged her coffee and sexually assaulted her. Ferrier also attempted to tell this story to the National Enquirer, which was ready to go to print with it when Cosby offered the Enquirer an exclusive interview in return for spiking Ferrier’s story, which the tabloid did, according to testimony Cosby gave in 2005. It never went to print. Through his representatives, Cosby has denied all allegations of wrongdoing.

Fall 2005 – 2006: During four days of depositions by Constand’s attorneys, Cosby testified that he got drugs to give women for sex, how he gave the National Enquirer an exclusive interview in 2005 to stop a story about another, previously undisclosed sexual assault allegation from surfacing, and how he hid the affairs from his wife and routed payments to multiple women. In July, 2015, the AP got the court to release excerpts of the depositions. That same month, the New York Times obtained the full transcripts from the court reporter, and published excerpts.

June 6, 2006 In a radio interview with Howard Stern, model Janice Dickenson calls Cosby “a bad guy” who “preys on women.”

June 9, 2006 Barbara Bowman is named in Philadelphia magazine as one of the women giving testimony in support of Constand’s civil lawsuit against Cosby.

Nov. 8, 2006 Constand’s civil lawsuit against Cosby is settled for an undisclosed amount of money.

EIGHT YEARS PASS

Oct. 16, 2014 Comedian Hannibal Buress made the joke heard around the world. Performing in Cosby’s home town of Philadelphia, he mocked Cosby’s public persona. “Pull your pants up black people, I was on TV in the ’80s,” he said in the bit. “Yeah, but you rape women, Bill Cosby, so turn the crazy down a couple notches.”

Nov. 10, 2014 With nearly a month passed since the Buress routine went viral, prompting fresh accusations, Cosby’s PR team began a concerted effort to counter the mountain of negative press and societal media censure pin-balling through cyberspace at the speed of sound and launches an online meme generator. In an effort to creatively engage fans online, Cosby posted an invitation on Twitter: “Meme me.” Twitter responds with references to the rape claims. Soon, social media had done more damage that good. Later they would first shun, and later embrace the media, and launch counter-suits for defamation against his accusers.

Nov. 13, 2014 Bowman, who first publicly accused Cosby of sexual assault in 2006 and was a witness in Constand’s lawsuit, pens an op-ed in the Washington Post. Titled “Bill Cosby raped me. Why did it take 30 years for people to believe my story,” Bowman wrote that it was only after a male comedian called Cosby a rapist that the “public outcry begin in earnest.” Two days later, when asked about the charges on NPR’s “Weekend Edition,” Cosby stays silent. But his lawyer, John P. Schmitt, later posted a notice to the comedian’s website, saying Cosby would not be addressing “decade-old, discredited allegations.”

“The fact that they are being repeated does not make them true,” Schmitt said in the statement. “There will be no further statement from Mr. Cosby or any of his representatives.”

Nov. 16, 2014 A new accuser, Joan Tarshis, tells CNN that Cosby drugged and assaulted her on two occasions in 1969.

Nov. 17, 2014 Linda Joy Traitz, a former waitress at a restaurant owned in part by Cosby, writes a lengthy Facebook post, accusing the star of trying to drug her in the early ’70s.

Nov. 18, 2014 Janice Dickinson tells “Entertainment Tonight” that the comedian drugged and raped her in 1982.

Nov. 20, 2014 Theresa Serignese comes forward as the seventh woman to accuse Cosby of sexual assault, saying that he drugged and assaulted her in 1976. Cosby’s attorneys have dismissed Serignese and other accusations as “decades old, discredited” accounts.

TV Land pulls planned repeats of “The Cosby Show” from its schedule amid sexual assault allegations against the comedian. NBC and Netflix also shelve projects with the comedian.

Meanwhile, The Associated Press releases video of its Nov. 6 interview with Cosby in which he tells the interviewer to “scuttle” footage of him refusing to comment on the assault charges.

Nov. 21, 2014 More women come forward, including Carla Ferrigno, wife and manager of “Incredible Hulk” actor Lou Ferrigno, who says Cosby “attacked” her when she was a teenager. Nurse Theresa Serignese tells “20/20” that Cosby drugged and raped her in 1976 when she was 19. Others tell similar stories of being drugged and forced to have sex.

Cosby’s lawyer Martin Singer tells ABC News, “The new, never-before-heard claims from women who have come forward in the past two weeks with unsubstantiated, fantastical stories about things they say occurred 30, 40, or even 50 years ago have escalated far past the point of absurdity. These brand-new claims about alleged decades-old events are becoming increasingly ridiculous, and it is completely illogical that so many people would have said nothing, done nothing, and made no reports to law enforcement or asserted civil claims if they thought they had been assaulted over a span of so many years.”

Cosby himself tells Florida Today, “I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn’t have to answer to innuendos. People should fact check. People shouldn’t have to go through that and shouldn’t answer to innuendos.”

Nov. 23, 2014 Former NBC employee Frank Scotti tells the New York Daily News that he paid off eight women on Cosby’s behalf, sending thousands of dollars in money orders to the women to keep them quiet. Cosby’s attorney called Scotti’s tale “pure speculation,” according to the original news report, and challenged him to bring forth evidence to back his story.

Nov. 26, 2014 Cosby resigns as honorary co-chair of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst’s capital campaign. Citing newly uncovered 2005 depositions Cosby gave to Constand’s lawyer, The New York Times reports that Cosby stated under oath that gave an exclusive interview to the National Enquirer in 2005 in return for a promise to spike a story about another, previously undisclosed sexual assault allegation against him.

Nov. 30, 2014 In a first-person essay for Vanity Fair, model Beverly Johnson accuses Cosby of drugging her in the mid-1980s but says she doesn’t believe she was raped. She later tells ABC News, “I knew that I was in danger, I knew that this was not a recreational drug of any kind, it was…I was really afraid, I was afraid for my life.”

Dec. 1, 2014 Cosby resigns from Temple University’s board of trustees.

Dec. 3, 2014 Cosby breaks his silence on Twitter to thank Whoopi Goldberg and singer Jill Scott for their support. Both women have since publicly backed off of their support.

Dec. 2, 2014 Judy Huth files a civil lawsuit that Cosby forced her to perform a sex act in 1974 at the Playboy Mansion when she was 15, the comedian fires back with a lawsuit, saying Huth is lying and trying to extort money from him. Huth is the first woman to come forward claiming Cosby assaulted her when she was underage. The case is ongoing, and attorney Gloria Allred has sought to freeze all discovery pending the outcome of the criminal trial.

The Navy also announces in a statement to the Associated Press that it is revoking Cosby’s title of honorary chief petty officer, saying allegations of sexual abuse made against the comedian are serious and conflict with the Navy’s core values.

Dec. 13, 2014 Cosby tells New York Post reporter Stacy Brown that he expects “the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism” and stay neutral. He also said his wife, Camille, is standing by him.

Dec. 15, 2014 Camille Cosby speaks out for the first time. “The man I met, and fell in love with, and whom I continue to love, is the man you all knew through his work,” she says in a statement. “A different man has been portrayed in the media over the last two months. It is the portrait of a man I do not know.”

Dec. 16, 2014 The Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office declines to charge Cosby in response to the Huth allegations, citing the statute of limitations.

Cosby’s daughter Evin releases her own statement. “He is the FATHER you thought you knew,” she tells “Access Hollywood.” “‘The Cosby Show’ was my today’s TV reality show. Thank you. That’s all I would like to say :)”

Jan. 7, 2015 Phylicia Rashad, 66, who played Cosby’s wife Claire Huxtable on “The Cosby Show,” clarifies remarks she made earlier defending her former co-star. Rashad said that in all the years she worked with Cosby, she never saw any of the behavior described by dozens of women. In an interview with ABC News, she said, “What you’re seeing is the destruction of a legacy. And I think it’s orchestrated. I don’t know why or who’s doing it, but it’s the legacy. And it’s a legacy that is so important to the culture.”

“We are really missing what is wrong here, which is, this is the United States of America. I know it’s changing, but it’s still the United States of America and there are tenets that we live by,” she continued. “There is the Constitution of the United States, which ensures innocence until proof of guilt and that has not happened. But what has happened is declaration in the media of guilt, without proof. And a legacy is being destroyed because of it. It’s being obliterated.”

Jan. 7, 2015 At a press conference, attorney Gloria Allred introduces three new Cosby accusers, including “Prior Alleged Victim Six,” known only then “Kacey,” but was later revealed to be Johnson. Her testimony was the sole supporting allegations to Constand’s account in Cosby’s criminal trial. Johnson, who grew emotional as she read her statement, charges that Cosby drugged and assaulted her in 1996 while she was working at the William Morris Agency for Cosby former agent Tom Lilius. She said in a statement that Cosby insisted she take a “large white pill” and then sought to confirm she had swallowed it – after which she said she woke up naked in bed with him. As with Constand and other accusers, Cosby has acknowledged the encounter but said that any sex was consensual.

March 10, 2015 Model Jennifer Thompson tells the AP that Cosby pursued her aggressively and once gave her $700 after she performed a sex act on him. Former Cosby attorney Marty Singer did not immediately respond to Thompson’s claims, but has called the flood of similar allegations “unsubstantiated.”

March 13, 2015 Former model Lise-Lotte Lublin asks Nevada legislators to rescind the state’s statute of limitations on sexual assault, saying she suspects Cosby drugged her drink in a Las Vegas hotel in 1989. Through his attorneys, Cosby has always denied all accusations of wrongdoing.

May 15, 2015 In an exclusive interview with ABC News’ Linsey Davis, Cosby responds to critics who call him a hypocrite for moralizing about black America while facing sexual assault allegations.

July 6, 2015 Court documents from Constand’s 2005 lawsuit are released in which Cosby admitted to giving a woman Quaaludes. Cosby said he obtained the drugs with the idea that he would give them to a woman with whom he wanted to have sex. The release followed a court battle in which Constand filed a motion to have the deposition unsealed because Cosby had violated the nondisclosure agreement by responding to the newly surfaced allegations.

July 26, 2015 Spelman College discontinues its endowed professorship named after Cosby and returns the remaining funds to the comedian and his wife, who had previously donated $20 million to the black college.

July 27, 2015 New York magazine photographs 35 of Cosby’s accusers for a stunning cover story, in which they tell their stories of the alleged assaults and their decision to come forward.

September 24, 2015 Marquette and Fordham universities revoke Cosby’s honorary degrees.

October 6, 2015 Chloe Goins, a 25-year-old Las Vegas model and one of the youngest women to come forward, files a lawsuit against Cosby, claiming he drugged and assaulted her in 2008 when she was just a teenager. Los Angeles prosecutors are reviewing her case after the LAPD presented the findings of their investigation. Cosby has previously denied the accusations, saying he was not at the party at the Playboy mansion where the alleged incident took place, and Goins dropped the lawsuit in February, 2016.

October 9, 2015 Attorney Gloria Allred, who represents a number of Cosby’s accusers, deposes the comedian under oath in Huth’s civil lawsuit.

October 15, 2015 Tufts University and Goucher College strip Cosby of his honorary degrees. Days later, Amherst College rescinds Cosby’s honorary doctorate — the first time in the school’s history.

October 21, 2015 Cosby fires his longtime lawyer, Marty Singer, one of his most vocal defenders in the press.

November 4, 2015 Kevin Steele beats Bruce Castor Jr. after a bitter race for Montgomery County District Attorney. The campaign was marked by deep animosity between the two men, with Steele accusing Castor in one ad of failing to bring criminal charges against Cosby, and “not looking out for the [alleged Cosby] victims.” Castor fired back, calling that accusation “despicable, desperation politics, disgusting lies,” according to the Montgomery News.

December 14, 2015 Cosby files a defamation counter-suit today against seven women who previously accused him of sexual misconduct. The original suit was filed by Green in December 2014 and the other women joined this year.

The comedian’s lawyer, Monique Pressley, said in a statement obtained by ABC News that Tamara Green, Therese Serignese, Linda Traitz, Louisa Moritz, Barbara Bowman, Joan Tarshis and Angela Leslie have made “malicious, opportunistic and false and defamatory” comments about him.

Green, who in 2006 told People magazine that Cosby drugged and groped her, filed a defamation suit against Cosby in December, 2014. Serignese, Traitz, Moritz, Bowman, Tarshis and Leslie joined the suit this year.

December 21, 2015 A week later, Cosby files a defamation lawsuit against Beverly Johnson. In a statement from his lawyer, he says “he never drugged defendant and her story is a lie” and is seeking compensatory and punitive damages, a retraction of her statements, and the removal of the chapter from her memoir in which the incident is mentioned.

Dec. 30, 2015 More than 50 women have come forward, most of them within the past thirteen months, but the legendary actor and comedian had never been charged with a crime — until now. Two weeks before the statute of limitations runs out, Cosby is charged with drugging and sexually assaulting Constand in 2004. He did not enter a plea at his arraignment and is free on $1 million bail.

“The charge by the Montgomery County District Attorney’s office came as no surprise, filed 12 years after the alleged incident and coming on the heels of a hotly contested election for this county’s DA during which this case was made the focal point,” Pressley said in a statement. “Make no mistake, we intend to mount a vigorous defense against this unjustified charge and we expect that Mr. Cosby will be exonerated by a court of law.”

December 31, 2015 Cosby tweets “Thank You” to friends and family.

Feb. 2, 2016 Former D.A. Castor testifies that he didn’t file charges in 2005 in the Cosby case because he didn’t think the Constand allegations would stand up in court. Castor gave three reasons why he didn’t bring criminal charges against Cosby in 2005: it took Constand almost a year to come forward; the inability to collect forensic evidence; the fact that Constand contacted a civil lawyer in Philadelphia before going to police in Canada to file a report.

February 3, 2016 Judge Steven T. O’Neill, a judge on the Montgomery County Court of Common Pleas, rules that Cosby case can go forward, and declines to remove Montgomery County District Attorney Kevin Steele from the case, despite Cosby team’s objections.

Feb. 16, 2016 Court documents reveal that in early February, 2016, Cosby filed a federal civil lawsuit against Constand’s lawyers, Dolores M. Troiani and Bebe H. Kivitz, according to the New York Times. “The exact nature of the suit is unclear,” the paper reports, “because it is still partly under seal.”

Feb 22, 2016 Camille Cosby gives 2.5 hours of testimony in a deposition with lawyers for seven women suing Cosby for defamation.

Feb. 25, 2016 Cosby drops lawsuit against Beverly Johnson.

May 24, 2016 Cosby is ordered to stand trial in the sexual assault case by Montgomery County Magisterial District Court Judge Elizabeth McHugh. He waived a formal arraignment, and thus, automatically entered a plea of not guilty. The case is assigned to Judge O’Neill.

June 8, 2016 Cosby again seeks to have the indecent sexual assault charge dismissed. “The District Attorney’s win-at-all-costs tactics in this matter are stretching the rules past the breaking point,” the motion stated. The motion is denied.

July 18, 2016 Cosby is now completely blind, a source close to him tells Page Six. Cosby has suffered from a degenerative eye condition called keratoconus, which causes the eye’s cornea to bulge.

Sept. 9, 2016 For the first time in the Constand case, Cosby’s lawyers claim racism, The AP reports. “Mr. Cosby is no stranger to discrimination and racial hatred,” the lawyers said in a statement. “When the media repeats her accusations — with no evidence, no trial and no jury — we are moved backwards as a country and away from the America that our civil rights leaders sacrificed so much to create.”

Feb. 24, 2017 Judge O’Neill allows one additional woman, now known to be Johnson, who says Bill Cosby sexually assaulted her to testify in the upcoming trial.

Feb 27, 2017 Judge O’Neill agrees to a request by an attorney for Bill Cosby to bring in a jury from outside Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, for the entertainer’s trial for alleged criminal sexual assault.

April 26, 2017 Cosby’s daughter Evin issues a statement defending her father. “I know that my father loves me, loves my sisters and my mother,” she said. “He loves and respects women. He is not abusive, violent or a rapist.”

The Hollywood Reporter publishes a story, “The Brash Plan to Defend Bill Cosby,” in which Cosby defense attorney Angela Agrusa opens up about legal strategy, including the potential to introduce the psychological theory of “false memory creation.” During case hearings in July 2015, Constand attorney Dolores Troiani suggested that Cosby may suffer from somnophilia, known as a “Sleeping Beauty” fetish, in which the pursuer receives pleasure by waking a sleeping girl for sex. Neither Cosby nor his attorneys have ever made that claim.

May 16, 2017 In his first interview in two years, with Sirius XM radio, Cosby says he won’t take the stand, and reiterates the claim that racism may be partly responsible for the dozens of sexual assault allegations against him. Social media reacts swiftly to Cosby’s comments tying race to the sexual assault allegations.

May 25, 2017 Jury selection ends two days after it began. The jury, which was selected from Allegheny County, is comprised of seven men and five women. Two of the twelve jurors are black, which translates to roughly 17 percent. In Allegheny County, the black community is just 13 percent of the total population, according to Suburban Stats.

June 5, 2017: Cosby’s criminal trial begins. He arrives in court arm-in-arm with his former “Cosby Show” co-star, Keshia Knight Pulliam. “The man that I’ve known as a child was funny and witty and smart and philanthropic and full of advice,” she told ABC News. “I can only go based on who I’ve experienced, and at the end of the day, it’s the court’s job to find the truth of the matter.”

12 June 2017 | 6:30 pm

Source : ABC News

>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>

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ultimatepurchase · 7 years

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Yeah. I’m not gonna lie. I’ve had a lot of anxiety lately. It makes me really sad I thought I was past this. I mean it’s like I’m never really past it but I just....dont know. I hate feeling crippled. Here I am learning about psychology and that makes me want to ask myself what do I think about what I’m going through. I kind of always have believed that anxiety or at least at lot of mine, comes from suppressed feelings. I think I’m a very emotional person who doesn’t feel comfortable being mad, kind of avoids being sad... and hates misunderstandings. I beat myself up when things go wrong. I think that’s what it is. Anyway. I think about my life Maybe I’m exaggerating, but I’ve spent a whole lot of time feeling nervous in one way or another Sometimes growing up you find out you have more in common with other people than you thought. But what about anxiety or pain or anguish or whatever. People just don’t talk about that. All my friends always knew I had anxiety as a teenager I mean I’d either just tell them or they’d come over and wonder why I hadn’t left my house in weeks and I’d either be drinking vodka or hiding. I don’t mean like hiding behind a couch or something just I can remember one time when I didn’t even come out of my room I was panicking. Anyway. At this point I don’t really have friends anyway. Now when I have anxiety I’m just kind of alone.

for a long time I didn’t even think of myself as an anxious person. the older I got the more anxiety became like something to like sigh about n wait for it to end. just something to get through and be done with I’m not always riddled with anxiety or something but lately it’s flared up and it’s just like very tiring. When I was a teenager it’s like I had the strength to panic all the time, I just don’t have it in me and yet I have like no choice so when it comes around and it’s bad I’m trying to do soothing activities and I feel anxious but I’m also fed up and just tired n just sick of it. For me... baths have always been a safe place. you just get to be alone and water is nice. anyway I don’t know. I used to be really good at keeping up with my emotions when I was younger. now I just am not. there’s a lot of them and like I don’t want to deal with it or something. I do look at patterns like when the anxiety occurs and it’s constant with the idea that i keep emotions inside or whatever and then i get all disturbed. at least that’s part of it. well anyway. I just want to be happy. And I don’t want to forget about everyone or ignore people I love or be blind to stuff. I duno I had some dramamine and benedryl combo because I was really nauseous I duno. i went to michaels crafts store and it was fun and they had all of this paint and stuff. It would be cool to paint something. just to do something creative sometime steves been playing persona 5 and it’s cool and it reminds me of these dumb games that I download on my phone sometimes. i duno i’m getting more and more tired now. right now I just feel irritated with having anxiety. it’s like who has time for that. i feel sad / irritated. like i just wanna cry. *shrug* writing really helps though. I’m sorry if I’m just not very creative anymore or interesting. I guess I think bad stuff about myself sometimes I’m not trying to throw a pity party I just wish I didn’t I like handwriting analysis. I don’t know if it’s like legitimate in any sort of way. I mean I don’t think it’s scientifically proven or something but then again don’t they use handwriting analysis to solve crimes? anyway I like it. I learned about the “FELONS CLAW.” if you have this in your handwriting your a messed up person or something lol well I’ve been playing the amnesia video games. The first game is like the ultimate horror experience. it’s always dark.. you carry around this lantern and there’s monsters and you have to hide. now i’m playing amnesia: a machine for pigs. in some ways it’s even more scary because there are pig monsters. I ran out of tomb raider games... i’m not saying horror is good for my psyche. I tried to get some posters to make my house feel more sincere and reflect my personality. but I don’t know if it really worked. The thing is I don’t even have any medicine for my anxiety. I’ve tried celexa for my anxiety in the past and it worked and helped me get my sleep back to normal and allowed me to eat again. Yeah I mean when my anxiety gets bad enough I can’t sleep and eat properly and for me that’s like where I draw the line. I have to do that stuff. So I tried taking celexa again about......... four days ago. The problem is that they give you a benzo with it at first usually and I don’t have benzos and nobody will give me any for any kind of long term. And i’ve just been increasingly more nauseous and just shitty feeling. I guess I do everything without telling my doctor because I don’t want to talk to the doctor and uhm. The doctor is kind of a dick. Well anyway. I still have my job and I’m still doing school. well today at work we caught a lady shoplifting. we’ve had like four major shoplifting incidents at work in like the last week. this time... my manager told me that she suspected a lady of taking the censors off OUR jeans and trying to sell them back to us for cash lol. I was told to look for censors on the ground. Sure enough I found the censors for the pants she was trying to sell. Then as instructed, I kept the lady in the store long enough for the police to show up. In other words I feel like I helped STOP DA CRIME. At the same time I understand that this lady is probably poor and it’s really sad. But hey they told me to do stuff and I did it, that’s all. anyway. I hope anyone reading this who has anxiety feels like somebody understands. because I do. The last thing I ever wanna be is on any daily medication because I don’t want to be less of myself. but when I’ve needed it yeah it’s been there. but right now i’m not sure that shit isn’t just making my anxiety worse. it’s hard to say. I duno what else to say. I don’t get anything. bye.