#damn i basically repeated both the word brain and root-word active in that sentence
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I tend to put the BARE in bare minimum; in that i can BAREly handle to even reach that that some days
#chronic illness#chronic illness humour#chronic chillness#but no fr i really need to put myself to bed for naptime and try calm down cos ain't nothing getting done in this state#need to recover (from voli work + groceries yesterday) and preparatory rest (for respite on weekend) anyway#mental illness#hyperverbal autism#hyperverbal autistic#autistic#actually autistic#mid-low support needs#lbr more like mid support this morning#frick#too ill to chill#I'm so effin tired and feeling headache coming on like the hyperactive brain activity is straining my brain#damn i basically repeated both the word brain and root-word active in that sentence#but idk how to fix rn with the brain strain pain#schizospec#living with schizospec#actually schizospec#for someone that is supposedly “lazy” i sure as hell DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHILL#i guess thats what u get for being shamed all your life for being terrible aka struggling silently with something you weren't DXed with yet#and wasn't even on barely any of our radars as children growing up back in the 90s/00s - especially for a girl#the trauma of all that has nowhere to go#late-diagnosed autistic#such is the experience of many a late-diagnosed autistic woman or afab#i mean not even officially DXed - still struggling with a health system in tatters to get it confirmed#but has in the meantime been confirmed by multiple psychologists i am autistic but no paper “proof”#bc i am allegedly so high-masking (idk maybe it has just become so natural to me to live captive in a second skin in public/around strangers#that i don't think i am masking bc i got so “good” at it. when really i constantly feel like i am realistically fooling absolutely nobody
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