#dangerousdesires | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeybeedrabble · 7 months

Text

Dangerous Desires (vii)- Mask Off

AN: I know this took a LOOOONG time to get out but it’s all worth the wait, trust. Now we’ve got the plot really coming in and i am SO! EXCITED! anyways, enjoy!!

Word Count: 6.7 K

18+ MDNI!!!!!

Content/Warnings: SPOILERS AHEAD !!!! MAJOR KAKASHI LORE DROPPED !!! AFAB!reader x Kakashi, hurt/comfort, fluff, dark fluff, drinking, stalking, attempted/implied attempted SA, violence, mentions of blood, dark!kakashi, yandere!kakashi, piv sex, unprotected sex (don’t be stupid) unprotected cream pie (DONT BE STUPID!!), mirror sex, breast play, marking, biting, major angst up ahead, VERY MINIMAL EDITING (i'm really excited to get this out lol) lmk what i missed!!

You would think that Kakashi telling you he loved you would make things easier, but it didn't. If anything, it made things worse. Before, you could say that he's just a horny shinobi, looking for a quick fuck at anytime available between missions, with you being the easiest piece of meat around. But now? Now you're forced to acknowledge that there's more bubbling beneath the surface. You’re more than just a soft body for him to wrap his arms around and use for his own pleasure- you’re someone who he loves. Very deeply in fact.

You lay on your side, nestled deeply nest to his chest, his arm draped over your shoulder. You looked up at him.

“Kakashi… I…”

“Don’t. Don’t say you don’t feel the same. But if you do… don’t tell me either way.” He spoke almost nervously. “I don’t want you to say it back if you feel pressured by it. But even if you do, I don’t want you to say it because I’m afraid... I’m afraid of what I’ll do.” He said, staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh.” You sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling with him. “You said that you’ve imagined yourself saying things to me, things I have no idea about. If we’re being transparent… what is it you want to tell me?” You asked, resting a hand on his chest.

He was silent for a moment, pondering what to mention or what not to.

“I… I’ve seen some stuff.”

“Haven’t we all,” you smirked. He let out an amused exhale, running his thumb up and down your arm.

“Yes, but I’m still dealing with it all… I want to tell you but I don’t know how you’ll react.” His voice shook a little. You sat up to look at him, his arm falling from yours and dropping to the mattress softly. His eyes seemed watery and you quickly wiped away a tear before it could fall.

“I’m here… no matter what you tell me I won’t leave.” You cooed. His eyes shot up towards yours, shining with hope. “I won’t leave… I promise.” You say with a soft smile. He sits up, holding your hand to his face, then moving it down to his chest. You could feel how fast his heart was beating through his chest, worried whatever it was would be too much for you. Worried whatever it was was too much for him.

“When I was younger, I grew up with my father, who was also a shinobi. We have a very dangerous job, you and I. Saving people. My father had to save people himself, making their lives a priority as opposed to the mission he was sent out on. In doing so he returned home a hero, but also scum. The other shinobi couldn’t believe that he had abandoned his mission and chastised him, turning him into an empty husk of a man. I lost my father, he wasn’t there anymore.” He said softly. You ran your hand up to his neck, caressing him, hoping to soothe his pain.

“When I arrived home from school one afternoon I saw him laying on the ground. Dead. He had killed himself.” Kakashi looked away from you, tears beginning to fall.

“Kakashi…” You managed.

“No note or anything! No goodbye. Just gone. God, I hated him for that. How could he leave his own son!” he bawled, crying heavy tears.

You reached your hand around to the back of his head and held him close to your chest. You could feel his warm tears hit your breasts one after the other. He breathed heavily, occasionally drawing in a shaky breath just to let it go in a half-scream against your chest.

You pet his hair, raking your hands up and down his fluffy mass. You placed a kiss against the crown of his head and wrapped your other arm around his torso, holding him closer to you. When he finally stopped hyperventilating, he rest his head against your chest, holding your arm wrapped around him for comfort.

“I learned later that it doesn’t matter what the mission is, as long as you can save your friends you can never fail a mission. But when I realized this I did the unexpected. I had killed my very own friend. She just- I didn’t- oh god,” he broke down again.

His arms wrapped around your back, hands grabbing up to your shoulders and pulling himself deeper into you. He told you about Rin between breaths, about her unfortunate demise and how he had been the hand to deal her death. All you could do was listen and hold him. He rocked gently with you in his arms and his head against your chest. Thrashing when he spoke of Obito and the scar on his eye that came along with the boys sacrifice.

He told you about Minato, how he raised Kakashi when his father couldn’t. How great of a leader he was and how much he misses him. He couldn’t protect Rin, Obito, or Minato, he spoke of how much of a failure he felt like.

No matter how hard he shook, how loud his cries were, or how intense his hold on you was, you didn’t let go. You didn’t even say anything, you just let him get it out. And while watching the man you saw as big and strong crumble completely in your arms brought a few tears to your eyes, you didn’t leave him once.

A few minutes later, after his eyes ran dry and his head hurt from all the tears lost, he finally spoke.

“The funny thing is… that whenever I’m with you… that stuff doesn’t bother me.” It came out as almost a whisper.

“What do you mean?” You asked, hand stilling in his hair.

“I mean… that it’s never in my head. When I’m with you it’s like all that shit that happened before I met you didn’t happen at all. As if… it happened to someone else. Maybe it’s true.” He sat upright, arms holding you less desperately.

“I’ve changed so much since I’ve known you. I feel like a completely different person. Before I used to prefer being alone, now I can’t stand it. I cant stand it because every time I’m alone I’d rather be spending that time with you. On missions, in the shower… in my bed.” He added sheepishly. You smiled a little bit, blushing at his words.

“I feel like when you're not around my soul is screaming for you. And it’s so loud, sweet girl it doesn’t let me think of anything other than you. I love you… I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much I feel like I’ve loved you always, not just in this life but previous ones I can’t even remember. And in future lives where I’m sure we'll meet again.” Another tear fell out of his eye, this one you weren’t worried about.

“But then all the memories flood me like a collapsing dam. It’s all in a second. I’m scared you’ll get hurt and I can’t protect you because I’m not there. Or worse, I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. I’m afraid that no matter how hard I try to keep you safe, I’m scared that that demented twist of fate will take you from me anyways. I couldn’t live another second if you were stolen from my life.” Kakashi cried again, you wiped his tears before his mask could be wetted by them.

“I can take care of myself, Kakashi. I’m a shinobi after all. I know you haven’t seen me fight but I know how to defend myself and others. I wont die.” You tried to reason. It was to no avail.

“My love… I don’t believe you. I cant. Not after what I’ve seen… I cant lose you. To lose you would be losing myself.” He held you closer to him, his warm skin against yours as he lay you both back down on the bed.

“I love you. Don’t leave me. You promised.” He spoke softly in your ear.

“I did.”

___________________

The talk with Kakashi was too heavy on your mind. The next day it was all you could think about He had lost so much, you never thought about how life was for him before you two had met. You knew you’d be up all night thinking about it so you went out for a few drinks to put you to sleep.

When you arrived at the bar you scouted out the scene, a few couples, a group of friends or two, and of course some people on their own. You sat down at the bar and ordered a glass of bourbon. Sipping it occasionally between thoughts.

You felt a tap on your shoulder as a few ryō were placed on the counter next to you.

“I’ll have whatever she’s having. In fact, why don’t you get her another one?” A man with dark hair spoke from behind you. He smirked then sat down next to you, telling you his name. You quickly forgot it because of how intensely disinterested you were.

You polished off your drink as he spoke, quickly finishing the one he ordered. You thanked him for the drink, then told him you had to leave.

“Why? I barely talked to you,”

“I’m sorry sir I just… I didn’t plan on staying long and if I’m being honest I can really only handle one of these at a time. They filled my glass pretty high and I need to get home.” You explained. He glared at you.

“I buy you a drink and you take it and leave? Real classy.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t feel so good so I’d appreciate it if you just let me leave.”

“Fuck you.” He spat. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Have a nice night.” You turned around.

“Bitch…” he muttered under his breath as you left the bar.

You were lost in thought, almost drunkenly walking the streets back home, thinking about Kakashi. Your heart ached, wishing you could be with him without the terrified feeling of losing your job. You were sure people wouldn’t take you seriously if you were public about your relationship. They’d figure you slept your way to the top, not even taking your occupation seriously and all together stop visiting you.

You opened your apartment door and tossed your belongings on the nearby couch, turning on the light. You felt a heavy weight thrown against you, similarly to when Naruto had bumped into you. When you turned around is when you saw him. The man from the bar, slightly smelling of alcohol. You felt the color drain from your face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” you yelled. He slammed the door behind him, walking up to you. You couldn’t believe how you let your guard down so easily.

“Listen… I payed good money for you. 350 ryō for a drink so I can get into your pussy isn’t a lot to ask for, but you just couldn’t deliver. You could’ve had it the easy way but you just had to be a prude.” He slurred as he approached you. You were frozen in confusion, yet sure what was to come. You were able to back away when he lunged and tried to grab at your hips.

“Let me make myself at home.” The guy smirked.

The door burst open and he snapped around. Kakashi stood in the doorway, his eyes piercing daggers into the man.

“Shit… you’ve got a boyfriend.” He whined. “Sorry, she didn’t tell me. She just invited me over.” He spoke. Kakashi grabbed him by the collar and thew him to the ground as he hit the ground head first.

“FUCK!” He yelled, clutching the back of his head.

“Sweet girl,” He grabbed you by your shoulders. You looked from the bar guy to him. “You need to promise me you’ll remember this. You’ll remember me as I am right here, right now in this very moment. Remember how I am with you. How I would never hurt you.” He spoke urgently. You were even more confused.

“Y-yeah…” you shook your head. He pressed a masked kiss to your forehead then turned around and grabbed the man by the shirt, dragging him just past your door way.

Kakashi knelt on the man’s knees, then struck him with a punch to the center of his face, the man yelling in agony. Kakashi put another blow to his face, then when his right hand got tired he alternated with his left. Striking the man over and over again, blood staining Kakashis knuckles. You hear the man spit blood on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t know.” He begged.

Kakashi stood up, then kicked the pained man in his rib. He let out a cry, grunting and taking it all. Kakashi lifted him up and held him against the outside wall, punching him in his gut, the man coughing up blood. Kakashi smiled under his mask, watching the man who tried to take you writhe in agony.

“I should fucking kill you. I saw you follow her home, I know she didn’t bring you.” Kakashi almost laughed.

“Please man, I’m so sorry. I just- fuck. Please stop.” He man blubbered, his chin falling to his chest.

“You’re a stupid son of a bitch. You’re just a piece of shit who can’t get any pussy and the only way you can get it is by trying to hurt my girl. I think the village would be a lot better without you in it,” Kakashi punched him again, letting go of his collar and watching him slump to the ground. He thrusted his knee into the man’s face, the mans head being thrown back against the wall hard. He cried. Kakashi crouched down to the guys level.

“If you want to live you’ll get the fuck out of here. Not just this building but the village itself. Go far, because I’ll fucking look for you. And if I find you I’ll kill you out there where nobody can find your body.” Kakashi was a mad man, staring into the bloody man’s eyes with a violent craving for his pain. The man lay on the floor with a groan between his wails.

You stood there, the experience completely sobering. Kakashis fists we’re covered in blood, his face had a few droplets on it as he stood in your door way, his head turning to look at you. You looked back, throbbing with arousal.

As a medical shinobi, you couldn’t believe what he just did. But as a woman, you couldn’t believe he wasn’t inside of you already. The way he brutally attacked the man who had bothered you, who had followed you home and had tried to assault you, who had tried to take you from him… it made your heart beat unreasonably fast.

Kakashi lowered his head and slammed the door behind him, walking up to you with a dark aura surrounding him. You felt the hair on the back of your neck raise as he snaked his hand around your waist to pull you deep into his large frame. His grip was tight, eliciting a small whimper out of you as you felt his iron strong arms lock you against him, forcing you into submission, leaving you with no room for movement.

“Did I scare you, sweet girl?”

Your breath hitched, the seductive tone of his voice sending the shiver down your back, he could feel it. What he couldn't feel was the pang of desire, shooting at your needy cunt. You shook your head and he laughed low in your ear.

“Really?” He smirked, hand trailing down your back and resting just above the curve of your ass. “So if I went out there and finished the job, you wouldn’t scream?”

“…No….” You rasped, having a hard time catching your breath while you trembled in his arms, core tightening and loins burning with an insatiable desire for his touch. The wet slick soaking your panties wasn't helping. You felt as if you had lost all sense of composure, pawing at his chest as you lost your inhibitions in his embrace.

“Really? Cause if you say the word, I’ll make sure that the only tomorrow he sees is when he's six feet underground.” You felt his member hardening behind his pants. You threw yourself against him further, searching for what you desperately craved.

“You don’t need to do that… he didn’t even touch me…” You said softly, looking towards the door. With his free hand, Kakashi held your chin between his index and thumb, moving your head back up to him so he could look you in the eyes.

“Well then I guess we’re both very lucky men, huh? He’s lucky, because he didn’t touch you. And I’m lucky, because I get to fuck you.”

He kissed you deeply, his lips warm under his mask. You grabbed both of his cheeks as you desperately needed for contact. As you kissed him you felt a shameful lust burning its way through your body, ignited by the violence in Kakashis crime of passion. And it was all for you.

You raked your hands through his hair, eyes snapped shut tightly. He broke the kiss but your eyes remained closed, lips parted knowingly. You felt his soft, warm lips meet yours again, uncovered by the confines of his mask. You smiled into the kiss, feeling his lips against yours without the feeling of the bandana against your eyes. While you did like to wear it, feeling Kakashi’s kisses without the restriction was invigorating.

You opened your lips immediately, your tongue diving to into his mouth for a change of pace. He laughed slightly, backing you up against your wall and spreading your legs with his knee. Your breath hitched as he pressed his knee under your mound, his hands tight on your hips, pushing you down onto his leg.

“Go ahead and ride again, sweet girl… Show me what you can do. This time I won’t let you get tired.” He licked your bottom lip, tasting your berry flavored balm and sighing before he crashed his lips against yours again.

You swayed your hips back and forth, moaning into his mouth pathetically. The feeling of his pant clad knee getting hotter from the friction of your cunt was amazing. Your juices soaked through your panties, coating the very inside of your pants as you kept rocking against his leg.

You could taste the flavor of orange on Kakashis tongue, the combination of his spit and your lip balm creating a beautiful taste the both of you shared as your kisses got more and more heated. He tore away from your lips with a growl, tackling your neck with a feral hunger.

“I always love to make your neck look like a war zone… it’s so beautiful when I’m done with you.” He sunk his teeth into your neck, lightly biting into your soft skin.

“Thank you Kakashi!” You whined, feeling the start of a marvelous climax rising from the depths of your core. “M-More! Please- More! Hurt me more!” You cried, clutching his white, shaggy hair tighter.

He pushed you against the wall rougher, moaning your name as he bit at your sexy collar bones. His cock became increasingly harder as you dragged your clothed cunt against his leg. He lifted your shirt up and bundled up the hem of it, brushing it against your lips. You opened your mouth and he stuck the cloth in, you bit down on the material and he unclasped your strapless bra. It fell to the floor and he dove into your tits.

His soft, wet tongue circled your sensitive nipple, he horribly suppressed a moan as it hardened in his mouth.

“Perfects tits… all for me…” he huffed, kissing your cleavage as he played with your breasts. You whined, the soft shirt drowning out most of the noise. Your eyes were still cemented shut, knowing fully well not to open them, unless he were to beckon you to stare at his face. You wanted to know his face desperately, but you were focused on being good for him, letting him suck your tits like the good girl he needed you to be.

You felt the plush of your thighs shudder under his muscular leg, your orgasm on its precipice. Your brain replayed the moment he attacked the drunk man, blood spattering his knuckles as he broke more and more of him for the sake of you. You shook violently, cunt pulsing on his thigh as you came.

"Good girl..." He praised, digging his fingers deeper into your hips as you rode him. You barely heard it while you were so lost in thought. Thinking about how Kakashi would do anything for you, and how the only place you felt the safest now was in his arms.

"I love you," You moaned, juices running down your legs from inside your pants. Kakashi's breath hitched, fingers going limp against your hips as you continued to chaise your high until you slumped against the wall for support, breathing heavily post-orgasm.

"What did you say?" He asked, you kept breathing heavily until you remembered your vocalized amorous affirmations. You felt like you were caught, not sure if you should repeat what was so impulsively thrown out of you. But you couldn't help but smile to yourself, feeling the void inside of you dying, ready to accept the love only he could fill.

"I love you." You confessed, feeling a giant weight being taken off your chest. One of Kakashi's hands cupped your cheek, as he desperately devoured your lips. He broke the kiss to rub his thumb along your under eye. He said your name, catching your attention.

"My sweet girl... open your eyes... please." He whispered. You felt your heart race, unsure if you heard him right. "Please... look me in the eye when you say it."

With that, you slowly opened your eyes, looking at him in the face. He was so beautiful. You stared at his face, unable to look away from how stunning he was. It wasn't just because you were so aware of how much you loved him, it also wasn't just because you were so aware of how much he loved you that made him so mesmerizing. You felt your eyes tear up, knowing how big of a deal this was for the both of you.

"I love you." And then you saw the smile. You could see how his lips turned up as he grinned, a beauty mark under those lips and his teeth slightly on display while his eyes creased gently. You lightly gasped with shock, finally able to see him happy in front of you.

"I love you more." He said, enveloping you with his gaze. You felt your heart beat, watching him speak for the first time with so much intensity, and it was to tell you: he loves you more.

You hungrily kissed him, desperate for more. More of him. You tugged at his shirt until he could break your kiss and slip it off from over his neck. You watched him do so. He threw the shirt to the floor then looked back to you to see you were already looking. He smiled.

"Do you like what you see?" He smirked.

"You look beautiful… You are beautiful." He was taken aback, you watched as his face flushed pink, your own reacting in accordance. "All I want is to look at you." You shamelessly admitted. He laughed.

"Sweet girl, now you know how I feel about you." He moved in closer, kissing you quickly, you closed your eyes, even though you wish you could keep them open to look at him.

Your nipples hardened against his warm chest, arching your back into him. He groaned, slipping his tongue into your mouth, which you took with greed. Your fingers tangled in his hair, taking all he could give you. His hands moved to your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with haste as he was surprised by your sudden gluttony.

"I need you so bad..." You managed to get out between heated tongue battles. He growled in your mouth as you pulled your pants to your ankles and stepped out of them. He animalistically grabbed the backs of your thighs and threw you to his hips, where you wrapped your legs around him with haste.

He moved you through the hallway with ease, taking you to your bedroom, and while you were taken aback that he already knew where it was, you didn’t say anything. He dropped you on your bed, it squeaked as you landed ass first and a few pillows fell off in the process. You slipped your underwear off, watching him as he watched you. The hunger on his face easier to spot now that his face was bare to you.

He licked his bottom lip, moistening it with the slight drool he had in his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to make you his, stuff you full with his cock while you told him over and over again how much you loved him. And that was exactly what he was going to do.

He got on the foot of your bed, tearing the rest of your shirt off with one motion and abandoning it on the floor with the lonely pair of underwear you just discarded. He admired your glistening pussy, post orgasm and already eager for more, he wanted to devour you. He wanted you to be all his senses, your juices coating his tongue, your hands in his hair, his nose filled with your scent, his ear hearing your moans and his eyes tearing you apart as you came undone on his face. But he had other things in mind for you.

He grabbed both your arms and lifted them over your head, your hands crisscrossed at your wrists as he held them down with his left hand. His right was busy working on his zipper then he finally pulled them off along with his boxers and left them by your clothes.

His right hand lifted your ankle up, plopping in on his shoulder and snaking his hand to your knee, where he kept it still. You watched as his face blew even further with lust when you tilted your hips for easier access. He rubbed the head of his cock on your clit and you twitched at the sensation.

“You don’t know what you do to me… you make me insane.” His hand wrapped around his throbbing shaft, pumping himself up and down as his tip weeped creamy precum and dribbled onto your folds.

“And you make me weak,” You writhed under his detainment unable to break free, his eyes fixed heavy on you.

“If this is weak then you won’t recognize yourself when I’m done with you. I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to think.” His deep voice vibrated in your ears as he pushed the smooth head of his cock down your wet hole with a pained look painted on his face.

You clenched around him as you watched his expression morph across his face, his teeth clenched tight before his jaw hung slack and a loud moan escaped his lips. His hand moved up to your ankle, holding it steady to his chest while his hips drove his thick dick in and out of your warm walls. Your head spun as you kept your eyes on him, feeling your body burn hot while he bottomed out inside of you with a growl.

“You’re taking me so good… I can see it in your stomach.” Kakashi motioned towards the cockbulge in your abdomen. You couldn’t look though. How could you look at anything other than his beautiful face and how his teeth sunk into his lower lip each time he bottomed out.

His thrusts became faster and harder, a sweat bead rolling down his face as his hips snapped against yours. You let out breathy moans, unable to contain your noises of bliss as he fucked you hard and raw in your own bed. He leaned down to suck a bouncing tit into his mouth, tongue rolling along your nipple and teeth softly biting into the surrounding skin. You arched your back, desperately wanting him to mark you even more.

“Mine, mine, mine…” he whispered into your tender flesh, fucking you mad as you whimpered loud.

He was naked. Finally naked… with you. He fucking you so deep you felt like you two were one, and your tight pussy held onto him as he slid in and out of you, loud, wet noises coming from where your bodies met and you practically screamed his name before you crash your lips against his and shook in his grasp.

“Mph- love-“ you got out between kisses. He stopped his kisses as he looked down at you. Your face was completely fucked out, hair sticking to your sweaty forehead and eyes rolled back slightly in ecstasy. He let go of your hands and let your ankle slide off his shoulder, it shook as it landed on the bed.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you up to meet him and kissed you hard before shoving you into a doggy style position, facing the corner of the room where a vertical mirror sat, you two completely reflected in it. He came up behind you, rubbing his wet cock against your clit, mixing your juices and his together on the tip of his dick before pushing it into you once again. You moaned loud, his hand tangled in your hair as the other rested on your hip. He held your head up and towards the mirror as his head dipped to yours.

“Such a little slut, look at yourself. A total mess and all you did was fuck yourself on my leg and lie down for some dick.” He licked your neck, a breathless moan escaped your lips as you pressed your ass into his hips, dick inching deeper inside you.

He kept a firm grip on your hair as he fucked you infront of the mirror, he watched you intently while you completely lost yourself to the feeling of his hard cock filling your tight warmness to the hilt. His thrusts became harsh and desperate, your tits bouncing with each slap against your ass. His groin was completely soaked by your slick, sticky slapping noises filling the room each time your bodies connected.

You felt your orgasm approaching, pushing your ass back with fervor with each snap of his hips. His cock twitched inside of you and when you finally looked back into his eyes, he was already looking at you in the mirror. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were burning deep into you, his mouth agape as moans escaped through one by one. You felt yourself fall over the precipice and shook violently in his touch. You could tear your eyes from him as you came hard, staring at his reflection infront of you as you screamed.

“FUCK- K-Kakashi! I love you! I- OH! I LOVE YOU!” You cried. And it was just then when his hips stuttered before slamming into you passionately as his mouth fell open completely and a string of cursed fell from his mouth while his cock shot thick, hot, white ropes deep into your needy pussy.

“Oh- oh- oh, sweet girl. I love you so much- fuck! I love you, I love you…” he trailed off between moans, groaning out your name as he filled you up so much, his cum dribbled out from the sides.

You took him so well and he fit so right inside of you, Kakashi was positive you two were meant to be, so obsessed with the fact he was made for you he couldn’t think of anything else as he watched his cum drip out of you and onto your sheets. He knew it. He was right.

You crashed down to the bed, a shaken mess. God, you looked pathetic and Kakashi was just eating it up as he scooped you in his arms. He grabbed a box of tissues on your nightstand and wiped you clean, kissing your sweating forehead with his soft lips and covering your naked bodies with your blankets.

You two lay there for a while, Kakashi whispering sweet nothing into your hair. You couldn’t understand him, you were too fucked out to think just like he told you you’d be.

It was a few minutes and you finally stopped shaking, head craning up to kiss deep kisses into his neck. He smiled, his head coming down to meet your lips and kiss you. When you two broke the kiss, he looked deep into your eyes, a melancholic look on his face. You were confused, but continued to admire his beauty before he looked away and pressed your head into his chest.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, unsure of his sudden mood shift.

“Yeah… well… no.” Kakashis voice was nervous. “…There’s a war coming soon.” Your head shot up.

“What? How do you know?”

“It’s just a feeling I’ve been having for a while. With all the talk of akatsuki attacking the hidden sand a while ago… and the hidden mist village attack the other day… I know we’re in for something big.” Kakashi sounded positive, but you didn’t want to believe it.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. I was talking with Lady Tsunade after filing my report and she has the same suspicions as I. Things have been too peaceful for too long. Somethings up.” Kakashi spoke. He held you tighter, not knowing he was doing so.

“Well then… No matter what I’ll protect you out there with my life.” You said softly, trying to suppress your fears of the hypothetical war. Kakashis grip on you tightened.

“Don’t you see that’s the problem?!” He asked defensively, his voice raised.

“I-I’m sorry?” You asked, especially confused now.

“There’s no way you’re fighting in the war, it’s too dangerous! I forbid you from going out there, I’m not losing you.” He said with a booming voice, holding you impossibly tighter. You struggled to breathe before getting out of his death grip, and sitting up in your bed, clutching the blankets to your chest.

“I don’t think you understand Kakashi, you can’t keep me from doing my job.” You announced defensively. He shot up next to you, turning to look you in the eyes, his face angry.

“No, I don’t think you understand. You fighting out there is the most nonsensical thing I’ve ever heard. I wont always be there to protect you the whole time and even if I am, I doubt I could. I cant protect anyone!” He spat. You furrowed your brows. If anyone could protect you, it would be Kakashi, that you knew.

“Kakashi you’re being unreasonable. If people get hurt out there they’re going to need me.”

“Not any more than I do!” He bit back, tears forming in his eyes. Your demeanor quickly softened.

You stretched an arm out to his back and ran your hand up and down his skin soothingly.

“If you go out there and get hurt, I don’t know what I’d do. I cant lose you… you’re what completes me. Without you I have nothing. Without you I am nothing.” You watched as tears ran his cheeks and you felt your own tears fall, watching the man you love crumble in front of you.

You watched Kakashi smile for the first time, you watched him cum for the first time, you watching him get mad and now cry for the first time all in one sitting. You longed to see him happy again, but you knew you had to stand your ground.

“Kakashi… you just have to trust me when I say I can defend myself. I’ve said it all before but you never listen to me!” you defended yourself, still trying to soothe him with your hand on his back.

“No. I know that if you go out there you’ll die. everyone I’ve loved has died and I refuse to let you become one of them!” He became agitated again. He said your name.

“My sweet girl, there’s only one thing I ask of you.” His voice and face were dead serious, grabbing your other hand tightly in his. “Quit your job.”

You felt your heart sink. How could he expect you to do something like that?! Your job was the only reason you two met- hell- your job was the only reason you were here!

“Kakashi… no.” His face changed instantly, brows furrowing and eyes becoming dark once again.

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean no. Absolutely no. Helping and healing people is what I’m passionate about, I’m a medical shinobi and a good one at that! Kakashi I know this is hard for you, I’m sorry for who you’ve lost but I’m not going to become one of them! You need to believe me.” You pleaded. Kakashis hand loosened it’s grip, and he tore his face away from you and onto his blanket covered lap.

“Sweet girl… If you love me, like you say you do, you’ll do it for me.” He said low.

“What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying you can’t have both!” He snapped, looking back at you. “It’s either me or your job!”

You felt helpless. You sat there for a minute, mind racing a million miles an hour.

“CHOOSE DAMMIT CHOOSE! CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME FOR ONCE! WANT ME FOR ONCE!” He yelled, tears falling heavier. You cupped his face and quickly moved in to kiss him. He tried kissing back but couldn’t manage.

You kissed him softly, stroking his cheek and wiping away the rogue tears. You broke the kiss, pressing your forehead against his. He held your face too, hands on your neck with his thumbs on your own cheeks.

“I choose my job, Kakashi.”

His hands fell from your face as he tore his out from your own. He cupped his face and bawled into his palms, crying so hard his body shuddered. You wrapped an arm around him before he tore himself away from you and quickly got out of bed.

He grabbed his boxers and pants, putting them on in a hurry.

“Kakashi, what are you doing!?”

“I’m getting out of here.” He muttered, his voice quivering.

“What the hell is the matter with you, why!?”

“Because I refuse to be with someone who has a death wish! I refuse to love someone who’s going to leave me just like all the others did. I could handle not being public about our relationship, I wouldn’t have minded as long as we were both committed. But this? No. No way.” He zipped up his pants and walked out the door. You clutched the blanket to you as you followed him out.

“So what now? You’re just going to be mad at me for loving my job, is that it?” You asked, watching him pick up his shirt and put it back on.

“Mad isn’t the half of it.” He didn’t look at you and he slipped the shirt on, the mask bunched around his neck.

“Well then what is it Kakashi, what do you want?”

“I want out.” Your heart stopped beating.

“…What?”

“It’s over. We’re over.” Once again you didn’t have any words.

“Y-You can’t be serious. Kakashi I know you’re scared but so am I. Please, let’s just talk about thi-“

“There’s nothing to talk about. You made your decision and now I’m making mine. I cant lose another person I love, as long as I’m with you I’ll love you. So if you’re going to throw yourself into the hands of death I don’t want to watch you do it.” His eyes were red.

He pinched the top of his mask and pulled it over face, hiding himself from you once again. He walked to your door, opening it and standing in the doorway, throwing his head back to look at you.

“You were never going to choose me.” With that, he walked out and slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone in your one bedroom apartment.

255 notes · View notes

birdiewrites78 · 3 months

Text

Dangerous Desires Chapter Two: Return to Me

Hello, I would like to begin by apologizing for my absence. I almost stopped writing this series because I lacked confidence in my writing. However, I have come to realize that the only way to improve is by practicing, and I really enjoy writing. My perfectionism got the best of me, and it stopped being fun. To sum it up, I am going to finish this book and update it more frequently. This chapter does not have any specific warnings, except for general violence related to criminal minds. Word count is ~2700

Natalie realized how much she took time for granted; she spent years snoozing her alarms for work, being late to plans she had made, and generally not being appreciative of every moment. She realizes how wasteful that was now. The team had been working non-stop since they stepped on the plane back in Virginia, and Heather still hadn't been found. Natalie was far from an optimist, but she gained some solace in her suggestion of working. Slessman put up no resistance, physically, at least during the raid.

However, Slessman seemed to be putting up mental resistance, or at least that's what it seems to be. Natalie was hauled up to a small room in the Seattle Police Station; she hadn't eaten, she was feeling dizzy, and her head was pounding. The fluorescents here were nothing like the BAU; they were a harsh white that seemed to taunt Natalie. She was sifting through old records of Slessman’s file, looking for anything that could help the team locate Heather, and picking up the phone that had been provided to her; it had been ringing all night. The people calling were well-meaning, but so far, none of the tips have been helpful.

Natalie had to stop what she was doing, and she was hit with an intense feeling of dizziness since she needed to eat to take her iron tablets. She pushed the files away and decided to go find the vending machine that she had seen earlier. Natalie felt an aching pain coming from her feet. She tried her best to ignore it and continued to walk on the carpeted floor. She left the room and felt a certain chill in the area. Slessman’s presence was haunting; she had only gotten a brief glimpse of him in handcuffs. His eyes were such a light blue that, under the fluorescent light, they were almost gray. He was so lanky that he almost looked sick. And the creepiest thing of all is that when they caught each other's eyes, he smiled at her. She felt like she was going to vomit at the sight.

His unnerving demeanor reminded her so much of—she stopped that thought. No, she, Natalie, wasn't going to allow herself to go there. Natalie hadn't paid attention to where she was going until she heard shouting. She froze, jittering uncontrollably. She looked down at her shaking hands. She took a deep breath and repeated the mantra she learned in therapy. “I’m okay; I'm not in danger, not right here.” She calmed down enough to stop shaking; she wished she was thankful she didn't freak out in front of her coworkers. They would have probably thought she was crazy; they would be right, though she felt crazy most days. She just wished she could get a grip on herself and be normal.

It wasn't until she reached a large, double-sided mirror, which is where she found the source of the yelling, that she wished that she hadn't. Agent Hotchner was disheveled, but in a way, Natalie only thought was possible in movies: he looked devastatingly handsome, his suit jacket was off, and he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He had been shouting so much that he worked up a sweat, causing his hair to stick to his forehand.

She hadn't heard the best things about him from Strauss; she thought he was arrogant and insubordinate, but some part of her couldn't help but admire him in his element. Either way, it was dangerous for her to admire him; she couldn't fall in love because she knew that. Aaron started to gather his things, clearly frustrated. Natalie scurried away, resuming her mission; she didn't like to deal with angry men. Aaron felt like he was being watched and wanted to figure out from where, but was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing "Hotchner.” He responded that he was filled with the melodious voice of the tech assistant. “Tell me you love me." Aaron usually appreciated Garcia’s playfulness, but he was not in the mood.

"Garcia, the interrogation went nowhere; I don't have time for this.” Aaron tried not to take out his frustration on Garcia, but it still seeped through.

"Okay, fine, I’ll get to it after Reid theorized about there being another Unsub. I did some research on the name that Slessman's grandma gave, and it turned out to be an intimate name that he was infatuated with.” Garcia responded, “Garcia, you're an angel. Thank you!” Aaron huffed out a bit of praise.

"So, how’s it going with the new agent?” Garcia asked Aaron, figuring that Morgan had already told her about how he froze this morning like an idiot.

“It's going fine.” He simply responded that he wanted to focus on finding Heather, not his unprofessionalism this morning.

“Derek told me you were staring her down this morning; does someone have a crush?” Garcia whispered back in response. Aaron sighed; he knew Garcia was going to ask about that.

“Garcia, there is a woman's life at stake, so let's please focus on that.” Aaron simply replied back in a tired tone.

“Alright, I got it. I will stay on topic, but I didn't hear a no.” Garcia perked up, laughing to herself.

“Goodbye, Garcia. Call back only if it's about the case.” Aaron responded a little sternly, shutting off his phone. Natalie didn't know what to think. The woman was right; he didn't deny that he didn't have a crush on her, which almost made her excited, but that feeling was quickly overtaken by nausea. No, he couldn't love her; he was just trying to get the woman off the phone, that's all. Natalie assumed Aaron had left, so she let out a sigh and was frightened when his voice announced, “Who’s there?”

Natalie panicked and then realized how stupid she was for being scared. It was unlikely her boss would do anything, especially not in a police station, so she revealed herself. She immediately regretted that decision. When she saw Agent Hotchner's face fall, she realized she was in a compromising position.

“I know how this looks." She realized that she had fallen into a clique, which is not what it looks like, but what else can you say when your boss thinks you may have been spying on him? He didn't say anything for a few moments; she felt her palms getting sweaty, and her throat got dry. Then he started to move closer to her until he was so close that his breath was blowing on her, and then her heart started to race. “What was happening?” she thought. He looked straight into her eye, his expression unreadable.

"So then tell me what exactly was happening, because to me, it looks like you’re spying on me.” Now that she understood his expression, he was angry with her.

She stammered, “I wasn't; I was just trying to find a vending machine.” He moved even closer to her, which she didn't realize was even possible.

Aaron was angry; he disregarded how his heart sped up being so close to Agent Price, but now his suspicions were confirmed that she was mainly an inside person from Strauss. It was no secret that his superior and he, to put it lightly, had differences in where they had seen the BAU going, and he was constantly fighting to keep it running. Deep down, Aaron knew that's not really why he didn't like Natalie; the real reason wasn't her fault and had everything to do with him. “Let me make something clear, Agent Price. I know why you really took this job, and I refuse to let you shut down the BAU. You may have fooled someone else, but not me.”

Natalie was very confused. It was true that she had an ulterior motive for working at the BAU, but it had nothing to do with him. She nearly laughed at the accusation that she was some evil mastermind trying to shut down the BAU from the inside.

Then she got mad: “I’m no one, Lacky Agent Hotchner, and you must not be a very good profiler if you think otherwise. She nearly spit, staring him straight in the eyes. He didn't say anything, but Natalie heard the rumblings of people around her and quickly stepped back. From an outside look, it could look like two people about to—well, not threaten each other.

Aaron didn't take his eyes off of her, though. “Then why did you take this job? It's no secret that Strauss wants to dismantle this team; why are you here then?” Natalie couldn't answer that because she was here for somewhat selfish reasons. She just held her head down, not meeting his eyes. “I can’t tell you that," she whispered.

Aaron swallowed, but she still felt the heat of his gaze. Aaron felt a pit forming in his stomach. “That's what I thought.” Aaron stepped back, and soon after, Morgan called him to discuss something about the case. Natalie decided to just go back to her room, forgoing her original mission of trying to find something from the vending machine.

Slessman's cellmate was a dead end; literally, he had been dead for 2 months, and Agent Hotchner decided to call for a break until the morning at this news. Nobody wanted to, but there were also no leads, and everyone was exhausted. They pulled into the hotel they would be staying in until they found Heather. Or the killer struck again; Natalie just tried to focus on the hotel. It was pretty gaudy, covered in lights, and probably 10 stories high. It came with a full staff that doted on the entire team. Natalie didn't like being doted on, and she couldn't help but think about how much money just one night would be here. She always thought about how much money something was worth. That's just a result of growing up poor, she guesses.

It was going to take about an hour to get their rooms ready, and since room service was closed for the night, the team had no choice but to go out for dinner. If Natalie didn't have to take her medications, she would have just sat in the lounge until her room was ready. She felt numb; doing anything but help Heather felt wrong, especially when she had the means to help her. But she was back in another SUV, and this time she rode with JJ and Prentiss; she couldn't stand to be near him. No one said anything; there was nothing that really mattered except Heather, so they just listened to the radio. They pulled up to a diner, which had a large sign illuminated in the front: "Hanks.” It read that the outside was packed with cars, which gave Natalie hope that the food was at least decent. The rest of the team was already sitting inside.

“They must have sped here.” Prentiss laughed as the women made their way to the team.

They took up nearly two tables. Natalie strategically sat near Morgan and Reid, hoping that they would just bicker with each other and pretend that she didn't exist. That didn't happen, though Morgan spoke up first. “You don't talk much,” he said, with his usual smirk on his face. Natalie almost dropped her hamburger; she didn't think anyone cared about what she had to say. She took a bite, fully chewing, before she spoke. “I just talk when I have something important to say.” Apparently, this was funny because Reid spoke up. “Maybe you should take some notes, Morgan.” Morgan rolled his eyes at that.

Natalie turned her attention back to her hamburger, savoring every bite. Morgan clearly wasn't okay with this, though. “Well, how are we supposed to become friends if you don't talk?” He posed this as a glaring problem, and Natalie was even more confused. “You want to be my friend?” She asked; it would take her around 5 seconds to name all the friends she had, and she wasn't that committed to making any others. Regardless, she didn't mean to sound so surprised; it wasn't like she didn't want to be friends with him; she was just weary of men, which wasn't his fault. She wasn't friends with anyone back at Narcotics, so she assumed it would be the same here.

"Of course, and friends know things about each other, so what's your deepest secret?” He prodded.

“My deepest secret? She replied skeptically; she didn't know what to reply to. He was definitely making fun of her, she thought. Her face felt hot, and she spent all of her energy trying not to think about her deepest secret, which naturally had the opposite effect.

Reid sensed some anxiety from Natalie; he knew that Morgan was just messing around, but something about this question seemed to really bother her. So he decided to switch the conversation: “Diners, originally called lunch cars and contrary to popular beliefs, emerged in the 1920's; however, they were made popular in the 1950's." Reid continued to spout facts about diners, but Natalie had subtly tuned out, and the more she figured out what her deepest secret was,.

“I didn't like the first Scream movie," she replied, not talking to anyone in particular. She was met with a gasp by Reid. “How could you not like the first Scream movie? It changed cinematic history forever.” Apparently, Reid likes movies. Natalie thought, “I don't know; I thought the characters were annoying, and at a certain point, I wanted them to all die, I guess. She took a pause. “I think it would have been much more interesting if Dewie was one of the ghost faces.” The team started to laugh at the banter between the two, and for the moment, Natalie felt relaxed and at peace. For a moment, she forgot about why they were at the diner in Seattle; she forgot about how her boss hated her; she forgot about what her therapist had described as an avoidant attachment style; and she just enjoyed the moment.

The wheels in Spencer’s head were turning though, and his thoughts were going a million miles a minute. Eventually, he spoke up: “Natalie, I think you may be onto something.” Everyone stopped laughing and looked at Reid, interested in what he had to say next. “I think we were right about having two unsubs, but what if we were not looking for an inmate but a correctional officer?” The team pondered this and snapped back to reality; apparently, plans had changed and sleep was off the table again. Everybody had finished their last sips of milkshakes and taken the final bites of their food. Natalie was confused about how the doctor had even arrived at that conclusion, but she didn't question it.

What she did question was why Agent Hotchner insisted on dropping her off at the hotel. She knew that they had argued earlier, and maybe she wasn't as helpful as the others could be, but she didn't think she would be taken entirely out of the investigation. He didn't look at her at all during the ride and just turned on the radio. Natalie certainly wasn't going to make conversation, so they sat in silence. She wondered why he even bothered to drop her off, if he hated her that much. It was clear why he didn't just ask one of the officers to do it; in fact, why did he even care about her safety? It was these contradictions that made her furious. Natalie just got out silently when they arrived at the hotel and mumbled a thank you to Aaron.

It was two a.m. when Natalie heard the news that Heather Woodland was found alive. She had to live with lifelong trauma, but she was alive and was returned to her family. Natalie was grateful that she was alright but worried about her recovery. She knew firsthand what it was like to deal with lifelong trauma. Reid was the first person to call her and tell her the news, and she was grateful for that too. Natalie felt like she could finally sleep; she had been fighting it for hours, just staring at the ceiling, wondering if her newly found friends were being shot at or had even died. Natalie was quickly learning how different things worked at the BAU, and even though Aaron would never believe her, Natalie really didn't want to shut it down.

#aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x oc #criminal minds #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner series #dangerousdesires

5 notes · View notes