#dekashita sensei out of the doghouse

[12setsofchopsticks]

White Day 2019

Alrightty folks, it’s that time of the year again for my favorite holiday, WHITE DAY. Yes, again this year I have worked hard. I have spent the past several months meticulously crafting relationships, exceeding expectations, and perfecting my winged eyeliner and TODAY is the day that it all pays off. I made heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s day again this year and coupled them with a personalized, hand-o-made-o heart-shaped cards of about the same size. As is the tradition, I will log the events of the day in real time as they happen. I am absolutely buzzing because I have high expectations and a good feeling about them.

Speaking of expectations, here is the forecast for White Day 2019:

Low chance of gifts from the English teachers as Vancouver sensei tends to forget and EPS tends to not care, BUT I WOULDN’T MIND BEING PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

Will this be the third year in a row that I don’t receive a gift from my friend Dekashita sensei? PROBABLY.

Big hype for the third year teachers since we’re all buddies.

As a general rule, I think it is safe to expect gifts from all the teachers who have their Valentine on display.

Feeling confident that I will get gifts from a few teachers, like sumo sensei and softball sensei, since they have been consistent the past two years. Let’s see if this trend keeps up.

Shimichan is a bit of a wildcard this year, and I feel like he could go either way. What will happen? No one knows!

I was thinking to myself yesterday, “Lolen, what if your expectations are too high? What if, god forbid, you don’t receive ANY gifts?” The thought gave me a chuckle. There is no way. I am Lolen, the Beloved. I am a goddamn gaijin goddess and gifts WILL BE bestowed upon me on this day.

Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 – THE DAY BEFORE WHITE DAY

1:45 pm –I was caught off-guard while eating my lunch when a teacher has come over to give me my first white day gift! How delightful, I think, as I try to thank the teacher with a mouthful of salad. This is not my cutest moment.

Thursday, March 14th, 2019 – WHITE DAY 2019

8:25 am – I have arrived at school at precisely the time I am expected to. 

What they see: a beautiful blonde waltzing in to the teacher’s room. My hair looks good, eyeliner is looking sharp and, oh, could it be? Yes…! Her outfit even matches her nails! 

What they don’t know: ya girl stayed up too late watching Netflix the night before so she’s running off 5 hours of sleep and literally ran to catch the bus this morning. She is beauty, she is grace, she is out of breath. 

8:27 am – I reach my desk and sit down. There are four additional gifts that weren’t here before. This brings the total so far to five, before the bell has even rung! I have confidence that this will be a bountiful harvest.

8:35 am – There is a shuffle as teachers begin to get up and go to their first period homeroom class. Within the chaos, I feel a tap on my back. I turn around and, heavens to Betsy, can it be?? I can hardly believe my eyes that it is actually Dekashita sensei giving me a bag of chocolate! The two year curse has been lifted and my soul can finally be at peace.

8:45 am – Sumo sensei has just come over and dropped a literal handful of chocolate on to my desk. I will award an A for intent, but I have to give a C for execution because come on, my dude, at least put them in a lil baggy or something. Regardless, choco is choco and I will accept your offering graciously.

9:01 am – I have just received two more gifts within a few moments from each other; one from the teacher who sits behind me and the other from softball sensei. So far my predictions have been accurate…will EPS and Vancouver sensei defy my expectations and come through with gifts?? It’s the question on everyone’s mind!

9:07 am – In an interesting turn of events, one of the female P.E. teachers has just given me a gift! This sets a precedent for the women here at school, I am now expecting chocolate tokens of friendship from everyone.

9:50 am – My lovely supervisor came over to give me a little baggie of white day treats! A+ execution from an A+ supervisor, 10/10.

10:32 am – The morning is swiftly passing by. Currently, I have eleven gifts but I haven’t received any more in some time now and I am wondering if this may be it for me this year. There are a few teachers that I have been lowkey watching all morning to see if they will make their move. Like a cat in the shadows, I wait.

10:39 am – JUST as I was about to abandon hope, I am approached by the cute married teacher (he’s cute, he’s married, alas) and handed a nicely boxed gift. Extra bonus points since he spoke to me in English. I didn’t even know he spoke English, today is full of surprises.

10:50 am – I am rereading my post from last year. Boy, what a wild time 2018 was! But, I am noticing that amount of gifts I am receiving and the time at which I am receiving them is REMARKABLY SIMILAR. At 10:35 am last year, I also had 12 gifts. Everything is going according to plan.

10:55 am – Bobsled sensei has just given me a gift! As an interesting note, he has opted to give cookies as opposed to a more traditional chocolate confection. On second thought, this really isn’t all that interesting.

11:04 am – One of the female English teachers just came over to give me a very cute heart-shaped cake sort of thing. I have decided that this will be the first item I eat when the time comes.

11:25 am – I have fourteen gifts now. I am wondering if, out of all the teachers, I have the most gifts. I know it *shouldn’t* be a competition but I am absolutely *treating* it like one in the deepest narcissistic pit of my heart. I think I will walk around the teacher’s room later and take some cheeky peeks at the other teachers’ desks.

11:40 am – Another female P.E. teacher just gave me a nice gift, complete with an English note of appreciation! I seem to have made some new friends in the P.E. department with my cookies this year. Exciting times!

11:45 am – Oh, these are exciting times, indeed! Just now, I have received a gift from Kocho sensei, also known as the principal. Based on his status as principal-sama, I expect that these chocolates must be of the highest kocho quality. This brings my total now to 16. At this point, I am projected to top my number from last year.

11:55 am – I have not seen EPS all day, despite him being here today. Should I call the police? Send out a search party? I’m worried that he is lost or dead. Actually, he is dead. Dead to me until he gives me white day chocolates.

12:30 pm – Another gift from another P.E. teacher! It’s quite a large box as well. I seem to be popular with the P.E. department this year, with about 60% of the teachers reciprocating chocos. My hard work is paying off and my ROI is looking great.

12:35 pm – It’s time for lunch but I’m afraid to leave my desk in case someone steals one of my precious chocos. I feel a strange attachment to them, like a dragon jealously guarding her hoard. But alas—I must go, for I am hungry. Is it strange to go out and buy lunch when I probably have over $100 worth of gourmet chocolate on my desk? I make a mental note of exactly how many chocolates there are; I will not tolerate thieves!

1:45 pm – I’m back from lunch. All seems in order. I also used this opportunity to check out some other desks. I am the clear winner in this battle royale.

2:30 pm – It’s been quiet for a while now. BUT ACTUALLY, as I was typing this, another teacher came over to deliver a gift! CONFIRMED: I am a psychic.

3:30 pm – I was just beginning to think that the gift-getting might be finished, but to my surprise I have received another! It’s getting exhausting trying to keep track of all these gifts. Interesting note: despite all NINETEEN of the gifts that I have received today, I have yet to receive one from any of the male English teachers. Just so we are clear, there are FOUR of them. This must be what the sharp knife of betrayal feels like.

4:10 pm – I couldn’t wait any longer and I ate the heart-shaped cake sort of thing. It was a delicious choice. I also made the executive decision to put all of my snacks in my desk since 1.) I was running out of space on my desk and 2.) At this point it just looks like I’m bragging (I am). Furthermore, as I mentioned above, I have a zero tolerance theft policy and these are my loss-prevention measures.

4:12 pm – I ran out of space in my designated “snack drawer” so I had to take advantage of the space in my lesser-used “lesson plans” drawer.

4:15 pm – O shit waddup, ya girl is officially at TWENTY GIFTS!! My boi Shimichan pulled through in the homestretch. If I can get my-age amount gifts does that mean that this will be my golden year?

4:17 pm – Time is precious and there are only about 45 minutes left in the day. The guy in the office must have felt the minutes squeezing by, because he just came up and gave me gift number 21. There is still time for you, EPS!!

5:01 pm  – Well, it’s time to call it a day and head home. Overall, I have to say I am very pleased with the way this year turned out. Many of my predictions turned out to be true (LOOKING AT YOU, EPS), with the notable exception of Dekashita sensei who actually pulled through this year. Now all that’s left to do is to enjoy my snacks...all TWENTY ONE OF THEM!

5:30 pm – Just got home. Can’t wait to see what my real white date has in store for me tonight <3