#depressed homosexual with uncle daddy issues

[jakeotters]

hamlet didn’t deserve to die. they should’ve just sent him to therapy for a little bit and everything would’ve been fine. mental health matters

[hirannow]

tw: homophobia and conversion therapy

Background:

Hiran’s father is the owner and creator of the Share House. If you ask Hiran there is no better man on the planet than his father and he wants to do everything to make Tsai Kaien proud of him.

Hiran has two older sisters and one younger brother and sister which makes him the awkward middle child.

Both of his parents really encouraged his dreams of being an actor growing up. He used to make little home movies and write silly scripts and beg his older sister’s to act with him. His Dad will show you the tapes if you ask and Hiran will die inside.

Though Hiran loves both of his parents, he is definitely closer to his father.

His relationship with his mother is heavily strained (See extra background for more detail)

He has a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins who care about him very deeply and the quickest way to get to his heart is to love his family as much as he does.

Growing up Hiran was taught the importance of family and having a strong sense of duty so he’s very responsible.

At school, though Hiran was studious he was also quite popular because of his good looks and “mysterious” personality. Though once people got to know him he figured out he was a real goofball that just loved to act and have fun. 

Now that he is all grown up he runs the share house for his father and works his other job as an actor of local K-Drama. It was his first big role and he’s really loving the work.

Catch him being stressed at the house because of these maniacs, but he loves them and is always trying to do right by his tenants. He also considers them to be friends but tries to remain professional and neutral on issues since he is still the landlord at the end of the day.

Personality: 

He has a very serious side to him, but on the flip side, he has a super goofy side to him.

Hiran is good with making big decisions and thinking quickly on his feet which is why his father trusts him to run the business. He also knows his son’s big heart will help him make the right choices when he needs to.

Hiran loves to eat and travel, but he is also a homebody at the same time and enjoys just being at home.

Acting is his life and at times he can be a little dramatic, but it’s usually all for laughs and good fun.

He has a bit of a temper, but it takes a lot to make him angry. Mostly when he yells people think it’s hilarious because again he uses his dramatic side to add humor to most things. It’s rare to see him actually angry and you don’t want to.

Sweet good boy

Extra background:

Hiran is a closeted homoflexible/homosexual man.

He has known since he was about five years old that he always liked boys better than girls, but it wasn’t until he was seven that he really confirmed it for himself. All of his other friends were chasing girls around the playground and he was particularly close to this one boy. The two of them were really close and one-day they were playing house and they kissed. His mother happened to see it and told the other boy it was time to go home. 

When Hiran was driving home with his mother he told her that he liked that boy like the way she liked Daddy. That was when his mother lost it and went on a tirade of how broken and disgusting Hiran was. A usual bubbly and happy child was now crushed and withdrawn into himself. 

He didn’t tell anyone about what happened with his mother because he was ashamed and she told him to never speak of it to anyone again. After that day Hiran never played with that boy again. Every time he would come up to him, Hiran would run the other way in fear.

Instead, he played games with his other friends chasing girls around and focusing on his studies which seemed to make his mother much happier.

His mother was wonderful to everyone that they knew as long as you were straight or not too different. She treated his siblings quite well and while she didn’t treat him awful as a young child, right around his adolescent years-- he noticed a shift in the way she watched him. 

Sometimes he wondered if it was all in his head, but when he was in high school he figured out very quickly it wasn’t. That year during a school play Hiran developed a crush on the lead actor for the play who was an upperclassman and he seemed to take a rather large interest in Hiran. The two started to hang out and first, he thought they were just friends, but then they started to experiment.

They started a secret relationship and after a bit of dating, he wanted to tell his family about them. Hiran made a plan to tell his father first because he figured he would be more understanding. Unfortunately, that wasn’t how events played out.

One weekend Hiran was asked to watch over his grandparents home while they were out of the town. His older sisters were busy and wouldn’t be able to so he said that he would go there to take care of the pets. He had done it many times before and so he decided that he would invite his boyfriend over for the weekend so they could have uninterrupted time together. Before he left the house he asked his Dad if he could talk planning to come out to him and then leave for the weekend if things didn’t go well. His father was ready to listen-- but then his mother walked into the room and Hiran lost his nerve. He told his Dad it wasn’t important and just left.

That Friday night was the perfect night they spent an amazing evening together not caring about anything and just being with one another. The next day, however, didn’t go as smoothly.

Hiran’s mother decided to drop by while the two boys were half-naked and making out in the spare bedroom he was staying in. She let herself in and went to the bedroom opening the door to see them together. She grabbed the other boy dragging him out of the house and Hiran tried to chase after them as he cried for his mom to stop, hugging the boy once more before his mom yanked him out of his arms. She told Hiran that he disgusted her, not to breathe a word to anyone else and left crying. He spent the whole night sobbing and hating himself.

The next day she sent Hiran away to a conversion camp for the summer, lying to his family about getting into a theatre camp. He was scared and ashamed. When his mother dropped him off he asked her why she couldn’t look at him and she said because the way he was now wasn’t acceptable and she would look at him when he was.

After a long and brutal summer, Hiran was extremely depressed, but he put on a happy face for his family when they saw him. He was “cured” as they had said, even convincing himself that he could like girls now. All he had to do was try hard enough and to keep seeing the truth. He felt ashamed for embarrassing his family like this and so he kept his time there a secret just like his mother had told him to.

He went back to school and got a girlfriend, became popular and focused on school. He was the perfect child everything his mother wanted him to be and he finally felt like he was living up to what he was supposed to be.

After graduating he went to college for acting and of course, an art college being much more liberal temptation started to come back and he started to panic feeling those “unnatural urges” come up again. It took him a while to come to terms with thing but to his friends, he came out as bi with a strong leaning toward women. However, to his family, he was straight and would only bring home girlfriends or talk about girls.

Hiran doesn’t see other gay people as wrong or disgusting, he only feels this way about himself and can’t help it. Constantly fighting himself for how he feels.

He’s confided in his cousin Jiwoo that he might like males more than he has let on and she’s tried to comfort him, but he always ends up repeating the same cycle. Every time he lays with another man he ends up hating himself afterward and feeling disgusted with himself. He doesn’t know what is wrong with him or how to fix it.

In the present day, Hiran avoids the topic of sexuality, but if it must come up he might say he is Bi with a strong woman lean. However with his older sister about to move into the share house-- he has to face the music and tell everyone who does know about him being even “bi” that they can’t tell anyone. He isn’t ready to come out-- he isn’t sure he ever will be. There is still part of that afraid little boy that is just wishing and hoping if he tries hard enough he’ll wake up and be straight. 

More to come later, he still being developed. 

[jakeotters]

the hamlet!1996 bts footage is so special to me

[jakeotters]

act III is so funny and for what. this bitch puts on a play to prove his uncle daddy killed his real daddy and then pulls out a fucking recorder just to absolutely destroy these other two bitches

[jakeotters]

if tragic hero why precious

[jakeotters]

people complain about kenneth branagh as hamlet but he slayed so hard tho. mentally ill and dressed like this??? no one else did it like him.

[jakeotters]

HAMLET

[jakeotters]

they should’ve let hamlet become king. i would’ve loved his unhinged ass try to be in charge of everything. he can’t even handle his own emotions let alone stressful situations

[jakeotters]

watching hamlet (1996) act III scene III with a bunch of random sophomores in a random english 2 class (because the teacher said i could) and they all simultaneously laughed out loud at polonius’ death and then were extremely horrified by hamlet’s temper tantrum towards his mom. i’m pretty sure kenneth branagh has emotionally traumatized them.

[jakeotters]

if you say “mental illness” in the mirror 3 times, hamlet will appear behind you and ask you if you want to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them

[jakeotters]

personally, im still wondering to be or not to be. that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer—

[jakeotters]

LOSING MY MIND

[jakeotters]

looking at your comfort character when you are not feeling the happy chemicals 🫶🏻

[jakeotters]

you’re telling me he’s not gay????

[jakeotters]

i wish i could be a tragic hero. rant to myself about how terrible my life is at least 3 times a day. be petty towards everyone who tries to get involved in my problems. pretend to be insane so people will leave me alone. having to revenge my father for his murder.

[jakeotters]

he was so hot for this