#derek nowaczyk

[feferipeixes]

The year is 3512, and pro-nat ideologies are gaining a political foothold in the United States. It’s not a safe time for preters, so Lucy Ann decides to lay low… by pretending to be a first grader.

She was planning on just waiting for this to all blow over, but, well… some old habits die hard. Don Pines would be proud, if a bit exasperated. That dummy Alcor would be proud too but he really needs to chill so she’s going to keep him happily out of the loop.

Chapter 3: Chance Encounter of a Furry Kind

The door to the office opened, and a kitsune girl walked in. Lucy Ann watched her gaze swing wide across the mostly empty room, and then settle on her and the unoccupied seat beside her. They briefly made eye contact, and the girl’s face lit up. Lucy Ann quickly looked down -- sensing that whatever was about to happen was bound to be exhausting -- but the damage was already done.

“My name’s Felicity!” she announced. "Nice to meet you!"

(read the rest on AO3!)

(SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME LITERALLY TWO YEARS TO UPDATE THIS)

[feferipeixes]

Lucy Ann & the Lunch Bunch - Chapter 2

The year is 3512, and pro-nat ideologies are gaining a political foothold in the United States. It's not a safe time for preters, so Lucy Ann decides to lay low... by pretending to be a first grader.

She was planning on just waiting for this to all blow over, but, well... some old habits die hard. Don Pines would be proud, if a bit exasperated. That dummy Alcor would be proud too but he really needs to chill so she's going to keep him happily out of the loop.

Chapter 2: First Grade Is (Not So) Boring (link to chapter 1)

Thanks to @toothpastecanyon​ for being the best beta reader!

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

This fic uses underlined text to indicate dialogue in sign language, but Tumblr doesn't show the underlines on mobile for some reason. Recommend viewing on desktop or just reading it on AO3 instead.

===

“Okay, it’s time for school, and -- oh stars, this is an absolute nightmare, I’m, I don’t know -”

Lucy Ann frowned at Alcor. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Of course it will! I trust you completely!” He giggled nervously, but the twitch in his face did not dissipate. “But if anything does happen, I got a phone so you can call me -- I know they’re called communicators now, so don’t call them phones in public, it’ll totally blow your cover and they’ll take you away forever -”

“Tyrone.”

“Actually, screw the phone number, you know my circle, and Lane has it stitched into her coat, but I really don’t want her cutting herself to activate it, so you should stay with her at all times and be ready to offer some yourself, I’m sure I’ve got a lancet around here somewhere -”

“Tyrone.”

“Wait, what am I saying, you’re a vampire, that won’t work -- maybe I have some spare candles I can throw in your bag for emergencies, stars above how do I not have spare candles littered around the house -”

“TYRONE!”

Alcor froze, and looked down at Lucy Ann, who had a big scowl on her face. “Y-yes?”

“Dude. You need to calm down. We talked about this.” She climbed onto a chair to get a bit closer to his eye level. “We’re going to elementary school, not Florida. I’ve got this.”

“Yeah, but just in case -”

“Nope. I’ve got this. You promised you wouldn’t intervene -- we had a deal.”

He tensed up for a moment, and then let out a long, fake exhale. “Okay. You’re right. Please, just be careful, alright?”

Lucy Ann sighed, but her expression softened. “I can do that. I’m not actually a six year old, remember?” She jumped off the chair, and stood next to Lane, who had remained silent through the entire conversation. “She’ll be perfectly safe with me around, and no one will suspect a thing.”

Alcor smiled. “I know. I trust you -- you’re a good friend.”

“Whoa, a bit sappy in the morning, are ya?” She elbowed Lane playfully, and then winced when she remembered that Lane couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Lane, for her part, didn’t react to being elbowed. She did notice Lucy Ann staring at her, and signed “We go?”

“Almost,” Lucy Ann responded.

She turned back to Alcor. “She’s ready to go.”

“Okay.” He picked up two backpacks and handed one of them to her. “I packed you both lunches -- I know that wasn’t part of the deal but I wanted to make sure you had something you could eat.”

Lucy Ann rolled her eyes, but then smiled and slipped on the backpack. “Thanks.”

He smiled, and gave the other backpack to Lane. “I want a full report of the day when you get home, alright?”

“Yeah, you too buddy. Don’t forget your end of the deal. You better have some good ‘being a human’ stories for me, or you won’t be hearing a word about how boring first grade is.”

His expression faltered, and Lucy Ann watched his mouth flap open and shut several times. He finally tilted his head and put on a saccharine smile. “Of course! We had a deal, and I definitely haven’t found any loopholes in it. Nope!” He clapped his hands together giddily. “Now, I’ve put a few notebooks in your backpack, just to make sure you have enough space to record your thoughts about the day -”

“Bye Tyrone!” Lucy Ann interrupted. She grabbed Lane’s hand and pulled her toward the door.

“Okay, be safe you two!” He called as they left. “I’m- yes, I’m okay Lane, don’t you worry about me! Uncle Tyrone is going to be fine, just try and have a good day for me, okay?”

Lucy Ann glanced at Lane. She was staring blankly at Alcor, who was most likely talking to her telepathically again. Lucy Ann wasn’t sure why Alcor always spoke out loud when he communicated with Lane like this -- perhaps it was for her sake, but it didn’t really help all that much when she couldn’t hear Lane’s side of the conversation.

They exited the house, and walked to the end of the driveway. Lucy Ann looked back at the house to see Alcor pressed up against the front door, watching them leave. She snickered at how ridiculous he looked -- a grown man clinging to a screen door as if he was trapped in it.

Definitely funnier than a 6000 year old vampire going to elementary school.

They clambered on the bus together and sat in the same seat as before. Lucy Ann stared out the window and tried to watch the houses go by, but it wasn’t relaxing her like it had the day before. Alcor’s hysteria had set her a little on edge -- what if this wouldn’t actually be as easy as she thought? She was, after all, hiding from the government. If she couldn’t even be sure of her own safety, how could she be sure of Lane’s?

She turned to Lane and signed, “Who is your teacher?”

“Parsnip,” she replied, spelling out the name instead of using a sign.

“I didn’t see you in class yesterday.”

“I was at the ASL class all day. Today it’s only one hour.”

Lucy Ann frowned. That was a bit of a problem -- being in different classes would make it harder for her to look after Lane. She’d have to see if she could attend the ASL class.

---

“Alright, class, how about this one? Can anyone tell me what four plus seven is?” Hands went up. “Yes, Jimmy!” Hands went down.

Excitement turned to caution. “It’s, uhhhh, it’s eleven!”

Mrs. Parsnip smiled with a level of honesty that Lucy Ann could barely fathom. “Very good!”

First grade was boring. First grade was really boring. Lucy Ann knew this would be the case -- she’d been a first grader many times before. It never really sank in, though, just how tedious and draining it would be to sit in a classroom all day being talked down to like she was a child.

But then again, that was the entire point. Someone looking like her but acting like an adult would immediately arouse suspicion. No, it was better for her to blend in, tone down, and tune out. She could wait this pro-nat regime out and come up smiling on the other side of it -- after all, time was something she had an awful lot of.

Still, her grip on her pencil tightened in irritation every time she was asked to sound out a three letter word. Every time she was asked to add two one-digit numbers. Every time she was asked to identify different shapes. She couldn’t help but be jealous of Lane, who was getting to learn a language while she was stuck trying not to scream every time someone misspelled their own name. She felt it wearing away at her patience, but she couldn’t snap because she needed to blend in, not only for herself now but also for Lane.

So far, it didn’t look like watching over Lane at school would be much of a problem. Not only were they in the same class, but their names were adjacent alphabetically, so they were sitting next to each other. On top of that, the classroom had pair desks, which meant that she and Lane would be as close as physically possible for most of the school day. The only real problem so far was that Lane had the ASL class in the morning...

There was a loud creak. Everyone turned to see the door to the classroom swing open, revealing Lane’s small figure in the frame.

“Hi,” Mrs. Parsnip signed at Lane. “It’s nice to see you. You can sit next to Lucy Ann.” She pointed at Lucy Ann rather than spelling out her name or using a sign.

Lane waved at Mrs. Parsnip, and stepped into the room, followed by a tall man wearing tiny spectacles. Lane sat down next to Lucy Ann, and the man walked to the front of the class to stand beside Mrs. Parsnip.

“Class, this is Mr. Avenel,” Mrs. Parsnip announced, and the man started signing as she spoke. “He’s going to be helping us out this year by repeating what I say in sign language. Say hi!”

A chorus of “hi” echoed through the room, and Lucy Ann rolled her eyes. Mrs. Parsnip smiled, and went back to her lesson.

“Here’s another one! Can anyone tell me what two plus two is?”

Several kids raised their hands, squealing excitedly in the hopes of being called on. Mrs. Parsnip put on a show of thinking over who to call on, which was probably supposed to be fun for the kids but it made Lucy Ann feel like time was slowing down.

She glanced at Lane, who gave her a little wave. It was good to see her again -- she was a little more nervous about being separated from her than she would ever admit to Alcor. But Lane seemed fine, and everything was okay, except for the fact that she was so goddamn bored.

“Maria, how about you?”

The girl to the right of Lucy Ann grinned, opened her mouth, and then faltered. “Um… uh… it’s… oh I know this…”

“FOUR!” Lucy Ann screamed internally, “IT’S FOUR! THIS IS THE EASIEST ONE IN THE BOOK AND WE DID IT YESTERDAY!”

“It’s um… three!”

Lucy Ann’s head hit the desk. “I’m going to burn the school to the ground,” she thought. She wondered how long she could just lie on her desk before Mrs. Parsnip noticed and told her to pay attention. Not long enough, she was sure.

She felt Lane’s hand slide into hers, and an odd sense of relief trickled into her mind. Surprised, Lucy Ann picked up her head and glanced at her again, and got the same blank-faced wave as before. She returned it after a moment, and turned back to the teacher.

For whatever reason, the rest of the lesson didn’t seem so bad.

---

Lucy Ann took a bite of her sandwich, and gagged on the -- yuck, what was that, tuna? She let it fall out of her mouth onto a napkin. Alcor promised her a lunch that she could eat, and this definitely wasn’t it, which meant...

Shit. She waved frantically at Lane before she could bite into the other sandwich. “I have your lunch!”

Lane blinked and put the sandwich down. Lucy Ann peeked under the top slice of bread and... yep. Lane would not have enjoyed eating that. She handed Lane her lunch and started eating her own.

Lunch was a much needed break from the tedium of the classroom. It was still pretty boring, but at least she didn’t have to pay attention to anything at lunch. She and Lane were sitting at a table by themselves, which was unsurprisingly the quietest table in the yard. The other students were busy arguing and laughing with food in their mouths, and when they finished their lunches, they got right up and ran around the playground. Meanwhile, when Lane and Lucy Ann finished their lunches, Lane just held Lucy Ann’s hand again and the two continued to sit at their table without speaking.

Lane seemed content to just stare ahead into the distance, so Lucy Ann rested her head on the table and zoned out. There was a lot to think about, but she’d already been thinking about it all morning, and all of last night. What did she usually do to entertain herself when she hid out at a school like this? If only she had someone to talk to...

Lane's grip on her hand tightened.

"You're not human, are you?"

Lucy Ann looked up. There were two boys standing by the table. The first was about Lucy Ann's height, thin with very short dirty-blond hair, and was wearing something between a scowl and a smirk. The other was a bit stockier in a way that was strange to see on someone so young, had shoulder-length brown hair, and looked more bemused than anything else.

She frowned. "What?"

The blond boy -- the speaker from before -- grumbled. "You're not human. You're a preter."

Well. Getting her cover blown on day two of elementary school was a bit earlier than she expected. But this was a kid. Maybe she could still salvage this. So she put on a sickly-sweet voice and fluttered her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, that's not going to work. I can tell you're not human. What are you?"

Lucy Ann faked a cough. "I don't know. I'm pretty human. That's what my parents say, anyway."

She felt a squeeze on her hand again, and turned to Lane, who had a slightly pained look on her face. She used her free hand to sign "Are you okay?"

Lane cringed, but then nodded. "Who is that?"

“I don’t know. I’ll tell him to leave.”

Lane shook her head. “I think we can trust him.”

“What? Why?” Lucy Ann said aloud, confusion written all over her face. She spun around and was met again with the boy’s unblinking stare. There was something off about it, now that she thought about it -- something she occasionally saw in that dork Alcor: age, where it surely didn’t belong, behind the eyes of a child.

Maybe her cover wasn’t blown after all.

“Alright, Einstein,” she responded, shifting back into her regular voice. “You got me. I’m a vampire. What do you want?”

The brown-haired boy boggled. “Wow, really?” He elbowed his friend. “You’re really good at this.”

“Yeah, I know.” The blond one grimaced, not taking his eyes off Lucy Ann. “What’s your name?”

Lucy Ann frowned. “Doesn’t matter. You can call me Lucy Ann, though. What about you?”

The blond kid coughed, his expression broken for the first time since he’d started talking to her. “It’s, uh…” He scratched his head, and Lucy Ann raised an eyebrow. “Derek. It’s Derek.”

The brown-haired boy raised his hand. “I’m Andy.”

“Great,” Lucy Ann said, a hint of annoyance in her tone. “Oh, and this is Lane.”

She quickly relayed their names to Lane in ASL, and Lane waved at them. Derek flinched.

“What is she doing here?” he stammered.

Lucy Ann stared at him. “What are you talking about? She’s a first grader, just like me and you.”

“N-no,” he replied, looking surprisingly ill-at-ease. “She’s got a, well, uh…” He trailed off, and then went back to scowling. “Nevermind. It’s nothing.”

She raised an eyebrow. Andy shrugged, mouthing something that looked like “you’ll get used to it.” Next to her, Lane still looked pained but was otherwise blank.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lucy Ann signed at her. “Do you want to leave?”

Lane shook her head. “Tell you later.”

“Hey!” Derek waved his hand in Lucy Ann’s peripheral vision. “What are you doing?”

Lucy Ann fixed him with the most condescending glare she could muster. “Lane can’t hear you -- she’s deaf, so I’m telling her in sign language how much of a loser you are.”

He grumbled, and Andy smirked. “He’s not a loser, he just acts like one sometimes.” This just made Derek grumble even louder.

Lucy Ann rubbed her forehead. “Cool. Great. Now that we all know each other, what do you want?”

Derek slapped his palms onto the table and leaned forward in what was obviously an attempt at intimidation. “Tell me what you’re doing here.”

Lucy Ann, meanwhile, had to stop herself from giggling. “Whoops, looks like I have to tell you the whole story now! Guess what: I’m not actually six, I’m old and I’m pretending to be a kid because there are some meaaaan people out there who don’t like preters. Isn’t that sad?”

“You don’t need to talk down to me!”

Lucy Ann smirked. “Why not? You’re just a little kid.”

Derek looked mad enough that steam could have been coming out of his ears. “No, I’m-”

Andy put his hand on Derek’s shoulder, making the other boy flinch. “Hey, uh, someone’s gonna overhear us if you keep screaming like that. This isn’t really the kind of conversation we want people to overhear.”

“Fine.” Derek took a comically deep breath, and then exhaled. “The point is, we’re not really first graders either. Well, I am. He’s not.”

Lucy Ann boggled. “Are you kidding? Is the whole school made up of preters pretending to be children?”

Andy chuckled -- a gruff, deep sound that definitely didn’t belong in a first grader’s mouth. “I think it’s just the three of us. And, uh. Her, I guess,” he added, pointing to Lane. “Is she…?”

“No, she’s human. Nothing weird about her at all.” Except that she’s the reincarnation of an extremely powerful demon’s twin sister.

Derek looked ready to cut in and yell at her, but he stopped himself, instead crossing his arms. Andy, for his part, just looked confused again. Lucy Ann stared at the two of them, so out of place against the backdrop of first graders running around the playground, throwing mud at each other and screaming about boo-boo’s. First Alcor, then Lane, now these two?

Hiding from the government was going to be a lot more interesting than planned.

She took a deep breath, and turned to Derek. "So. What's your deal, then?"

His face twitched, and he responded in a sickly-sweet voice. "What do you mean?"

Lucy Ann rolled her eyes. "Okay then. What about you?" She nodded in Andy's direction.

He stepped past Derek and took a seat next to Lucy Ann. “I’m old too. I’m 28.”

“That’s not old. That’s not even old for a human.”

“It’s old for a first grader. And I’m not human. Well, I’m not completely human. I’m half gnome.”

“Oh.” There was an awkward pause. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“Thanks, neither did anyone else.”

Lucy Ann coughed. “Sorry, that was rude.”

Andy waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” Lucy Ann frowned, but let him keep going. “Anyway, I’ve been physically growing up like a human, just at a much slower rate. If I’m lucky, I’ll look like a teenager by the time I’m 60.”

Lucy Ann patted his back. “At least you get to grow up eventually. I’m a lot older than 28 and I still look like this.”

Andy shrugged. There was a squeak, and Lucy Ann looked up to see Derek with tears in his eyes.

“That’s so sad!” he said, voice and body trembling. “You don’t get to grow up? I want to grow up so badly!”

Lucy Ann’s jaw dropped at the jarring change in his behavior. Maybe this kid really was a six year old after all. She beckoned for him to sit with them, and he obliged, resting his head on the table and flopping his arms around erratically.

“Hey, Derek, it’s alright,” she said slowly. “I’m fine. Andy’s fine too, right?” Andy nodded. “Lane is, well…”

She glanced at Lane, who was staring very intently at Derek. She seemed to notice Lucy Ann looking at her, as she absent-mindedly signed “I’m still okay” at her.

“Yeah, Lane’s good too. Everyone’s having a good time.”

“Yeah, I know,” Derek replied, sounding annoyed. He scowled and sat up straight, any trace of having been upset completely gone.

Lucy Ann did a double take. “Was that a joke? Were you joking just now? I need to know. What?”

“If we’re all done with feeling time over here,” he continued, as if she hadn’t said anything, “let’s real talk. The three-” (he nodded at Lane and shuddered slightly) “the four of us aren’t supposed to be here. We need to stick together. And you can’t tell anyone else about us. We might be safe for now in this middle-of-nowhere town but that could change at any time. You understand?”

“Hey, who’s talking down to who now?” she retorted. The corners of his mouth started to curl up into a smile. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. I’m literally a thousand times as old as you, I know how to keep a secret.”

Andy blanched. “Y-you’re HOW old?”

Derek ignored him, and stared into Lucy Ann’s eyes. There it was again -- that aged look that made her question how accurate her previous statement was. “Good.”

There was the sound of a bell ringing, and Mrs. Parsnip called out “Alright, kids! Recess is over, it’s time for class!”

Derek stood up, keeping eye contact with Lucy Ann. “We’ll see you tomorrow at lunch. Let’s go, Andy.” He turned away and started marching off.

Andy, still looking a little rattled, waved at her as he got up. “It was nice meeting you. I don’t know sign language, but tell Lane it was nice meeting her too, okay?”

Lucy Ann nodded, and she gave him a little wave back.

“Come on, Andy!” Derek’s voice came from the side of the building. Andy smiled and walked off after him.

“What just happened?” Lucy Ann signed at Lane.

“New friends,” Lane replied. Lucy Ann felt something flutter inside of her.

Friends, huh?

Maybe first grade wasn’t so boring after all.

---

The bus dropped them off at Alcor’s house. Lucy Ann could see him at the door, pressing his hands and face into the screen in anticipation of their return. She really hoped he hadn’t been standing there all day.

“Hi Lucy Ann,” he said when they got to the door.

Lucy Ann raised an eyebrow. “Hi Alcor.”

There was a long pause.

“Were you thinking of letting us in anytime soon?”

“Oh, of course, yeah!” He disentangled himself from the screen door (were those claw marks she could see left in the mesh?) and backed up a few steps. Lucy Ann and Lane went through the door, and Alcor immediately scooped the latter up into his arms.

“Lane!” he cried gleefully. “How was your day, sweetheart?”

Lucy Ann pretended to gag, but Alcor ignored her.

“That’s great! I’m so glad you’re okay -- not that I had any doubt about it!” he added, grinning at Lucy Ann. He put Lane down and headed into the kitchen. “I’ll get you two some snacks!”

“I can get my own snack,” Lucy Ann grumbled light-heartedly. She and Lane followed him into the next room and sat next to each other at the table.

Alcor paused, and threw Lucy Ann an embarrassed look. “Oh, wait, no, not because you look like a kid or anything! Sorry, I’m still kind of in ‘work mode’. No offense.” He started rifling through the cabinets.

“Does that mean you actually did it? You got a job?”

“Of course I did! Did you really think I’d have a problem playing human?” He turned around, mock betrayal on his face and a bowl of red liquorice in his hands. “I got a job as a waiter at the diner on Centre Avenue. They were short staffed and desperate for some additional hands.” He punctuated this with a cackle, and set the bowl on the table.

“Alright, I’ll just pretend that wasn’t ominous. At least you’ve got something to do during the day, now.”

His expression immediately fell, and he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Well, uh… I said I got a job. I didn’t say I kept it.” Lucy Ann just stared at him, and he seemed to get even more fidget-y. “Turns out they didn’t like it that I wanted to shake hands with everyone who ordered food, or that I’d threaten people who left bad tips with nightmares. Yeah, I got fired before noon.”

Lucy Ann burst out laughing. “Wow, seriously? You’re worse at people-ing than I remembered! Looks like old habits die hard!”

Out of nowhere, a thought struck her like a slap to the face, reminding her that Lane was still in the room and had no idea what the two of them were talking about. She turned around and saw Lane just staring at the bowl of candy Alcor had set on the table. Lucy Ann gave her a little wave, and she looked up, expressionless but clearly bored.

“Do you want that candy?” Lucy Ann signed.

“No, I want carrots,” Lane replied.

Alcor, as usual, did not seem to notice any of this. “Yeah, yeah, get it all out of your system now. I’ll get another job tomorrow, which I’ll definitely be awesome at, and then who’ll be laughing?”

“Still me,” Lucy Ann replied. “Hey, why do you keep giving Lane candy? She clearly doesn’t want it. She says she’d rather have carrots.”

Alcor stuck his tongue out, and swiped the candy off the table. “Alright, fine, Miss. Parent-of-the-Year.” He rifled around in the fridge and pulled out a bowl of carrots. “Speaking of which, it’s your turn to tell me about your day. How was school? Was there any trouble? Do I need to go down there and take care of anyone?”

“No, you paranoid dork, everything was fine! It was just school, don’t you remember what school was like? There was class, and then there was lunch, and then there was class again, and it was all extremely boring, and I was right there with Lane the whole time.” Except for the ASL class.

Alcor put the bowl of carrots in front of Lane, who hugged his arm in response. He smiled fondly at her, and didn’t look up when he responded to Lucy Ann. “That’s it? Nothing interesting happened at all?”

Lucy Ann thought about the two “kids” they’d met that day, and what Derek had said before leaving. He didn’t need to know about them just yet -- they weren’t a danger to Lane and she had promised not to tell anyone about them. “Nope,” she lied, lips pursed. “Not a single thing.”

Alcor looked up from Lane and smiled the same sweet, genuine smile at Lucy Ann. “That’s good. Thanks for keeping her safe.”

Lucy Ann folded her arms behind her head and leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, well, I told you I could handle it,” she gloated, a big confident grin on her face. “First grade is boring.”

(AO3 link)