#did somebody say iconic did somebody say showstopping

[aquata-the-champ]

EIGHT: A NEW MUSICAL

Book by Emma Score and Lyrics by Taylor Swift Divorced, Beheaded, Died Broken up with x8 and then immediately forgotten about

Eight Tritons. Eight Taylor Swift Albums. One Ageless Love Interest. Coming to Broadway November 2020!

**None of this is canon, it’s just for the lulz. (Well, some of the Tritons did date Tony but I’m not basing it off of that and tbh their song choice is barely canon I went based off of vibes and also album release order)**

Lights up on the stage. It is set up like a concert, the lighting neon, with all eight Tritons standing in a line in age order from left to right. Their costumes are based on the era in which they were in upper sixth form (from Attina rocking a 2009-inspired outfit and Ariel in her 2020 best.) They are frozen in time, and slowly the music begins.

ATTINA: ONCE UPON A TIME ANDRINA: A FEW MISTAKES AGO ARISTA: I WAS IN YOUR SIGHTS ADELLA: YOU GOT ME ALONE ALL: YOU FOUND ME, YOU FOUND ME, YOU FOUND ME ME ME ME ME MELODY: I GUESS YOU DIDN’T CARE AQUATA: AND I GUESS I LIKED THAT  ALANA: AND WHEN I FELL HARD ARIEL: YOU TOOK A STEP BACK (etc the song continues they all have their individual parts but they sing the chorus together of I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE)

AQUATA explains the concept of the show: by some Swynlake magic, they have all realized that, during their final year of Swynlake Secondary, they all dated TONY RYDINGER. And now they are going to have a competition: who had their heart broken the worst by Swynlake Secondary’s infamous immortal badboy?

ATTINA reflects on her idyllic summer with Tony, hanging out on the beach together and, for a few brief moments, escaping the intense pressure she felt all the time.

ATTINA: WHEN YOU THINK TIM MCGRAW I HOPE YOU THINK OF MY FAVORITE SONG THE ONE WE DANCED TO ALL NIGHT LONG THE MOON LIKE A SPOTLIGHT ON THE LAKE...

She sings TIM MCGRAW and decides that it’s pure nostalgia, really, and maybe she could take herself out of the running. She’s happy with her life now.

ANDRINA appears and makes a snarky comment, instigating a brief bickering match between the two. ARISTA breaks it up and suggests that ANDRINA sing her song. ANDRINA said that she didn’t subscribe to the idea of this contest and she didn’t understand why one guy was getting all this attention, but fine, she would sing her song.

ANDRINA: YOU’RE ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHE’S UPSET...

What follows is an extremely sarcastic rendition of YOU BELONG WITH ME remixed with upbeat electronic club tones and featuring a showstopping dance break. ANDRINA remarks that if she can’t prove that Tony broke her heart, she can prove that she had the best performance. 

ADELLA remarks that ANDRINA did steal the show, but it’s not over yet. She launches into a sincere and heart-wrenching rendition of...

ADELLA: NEVER THOUGHT WE’D HAVE OUR LAST KISS I NEVER IMAGINED WE’D END LIKE THIS YOUR NAME, FOREVER THE NAME ON MY LIPS...

She sings LAST KISS and explains how she fell for TONY hard, and she still wonders why he dumped her and whether he really loved her. There is a solemn silence.

ARISTA agrees that she fell for TONY too, but now, she can look back on the memories fondly. She mentions that red is her favorite color (and her tail color, of course) is...

ARISTA: LOSING HIM WAS BLUE LIKE I’VE NEVER KNOWN MISSING HIM WAS DARK GRAY ALL ALONE REGRETTING HIM WAS LIKE TRYING TO KNOW SOMEBODY I NEVER MET BUT LOVING HIM WAS RED

*~*~*~*~*~*~INTERMISSION~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The curtain rises, and now it’s MELODY’S turn to bring the energy up. She reminisces on TONY’S classic vibe, and reaches the realization that it was probably because he was immortal. But it also meant he was a bit old-fashioned, which she liked for a bit, but eventually... it went out of STYLE.

MELODY: YOU’VE GOT THAT JAMES DEAN  DAYDREAM LOOK IN YOUR EYE AND I’VE GOT THAT RED-LIPPED CLASSIC THING THAT YOU LIKE...

She passes the microphone to AQUATA, expecting her to sing a cruel breakup song. But instead AQUATA admits that she had feelings for TONY-- a lot of feelings. So many that she hated how smitten she was with him, and she’s still embarrassed about it.

AQUATA

YOU’RE SO COOL, IT MAKES ME HATE YOU SO MUCH... YOU’RE SO GORGEOUS, I CAN’T SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR FACE ‘CAUSE LOOK AT YOUR FACE AND I’M SO FURIOUS  AT YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY BUT WHAT CAN I SAY? YOU’RE GORGEOUS

Surprised at herself, AQUATA passes the mic off as quickly as possible to ALANA, who reveals that she actually does not remember TONY at all. Somehow, the curse skipped her.

ALANA: I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED IT ISN’T LOVE, IT ISN’T HATE  IT’S JUST INDIFFERENCE... SO YEAH

The rest of the Tritons stare at ALANA in confusion-- why didn’t she mention this before? But now there is just one competitor left, Ariel, who also thinks this contest is dumb, and instead takes the moment to address her song to some current relationship drama she’s going through...

ARIEL: BETTY I WON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT WHY YOU SWITCHED YOUR HOMEROOM BUT I THINK IT’S ‘CAUSE OF ME...

Which is such an iconic song that everyone forgets about the contest altogether. They decide to forget all about TONY once again and instead sing a song dedicated to each other...

ARIEL: I’M ONLY UP WHEN YOU’RE NOT DOWN

ALANA: DON’T WANNA FLY 

AQUATA: IF YOU’RE STILL ON THE GROUND

MELODY: IT’S LIKE NO MATTER WHAT I DO...

ANDRINA: WELL, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY

ADELLA: HALF THE TIME

ARISTA: THE OTHER HALF I’M ONLY TRYING

ATTINA: TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WHAT I FEEL IS TRUE

ALL: AND I’M ONLY ME WHEN I’M WITH YOU!!

Dancing, confetti cannon, party time, everyone in the audience gets up and joins the party. Epic guitar solo. THE END.

[sonicenvy]

@rockford-peach​ just tagged me in a fun lil tag game about 7 comfort movies. so uhh without further ado:

1. Pride and Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright. what can i say i LOVE this movie and have re-watched it so many times. i have it on two of my computers and my ipad for optimal viewing options. the yearning! the nature! the dumbass love! lizzie bennet’s roasts! hating on wickham! Joe wright is a man who did jane austen right and i don’t say that lightly. jane austen is my bitch! matthew mcfayden truly captured the absolutely massive amount of awkward discomfort mr. darcy has in any given social situation! also kiera knightly made us all gay.

2. Stardust (2007) dir. Matthew Vaughn. How in the world a movie based on a neil gaiman book is better than the book i don’t know, but uhhhh this one manages it! baby charlie cox looking so good! claire danes looking like (1) goddess! the gorgeous shots and scenery! so many smooth AMAZING transitions between shots! over the top fun fantasy! captain shakespeare! “he said that my true love was right in front of me the whole time!” “Aren’t you tempted? / Tempted? By what? / Immortality. Say it wasn’t my heart. Not me, just a star you didn’t know. / You, you seriously think I could kill anyone? / soft laughter / If I could, everlasting life? I imagine it would be kind of lonely. I mean, maybe if you had someone to share it with, someone you loved. Maybe then it might be different.” i holler all the time about this movie

3. Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) dir. Hayao Miyazaki. Literally everything about this movie is wholesome! connection to the natural world! wholesome witchcraft merged with cutesy steampunk! sweet friendship between little kids! a kind, bright world! gigi! the lesbian painter in the woods! ahhhhhhhhhh this was like my favorite movie as a kid.

4. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) dr. Hayao Miyazaki. The anti-war themes! connection to land and nature! howl being a drama bitch! grandma sophie! “i’ve never felt so peaceful in my life.” “A heart’s a heavy burden to carry.” Markle! “Don’t leave! We’re a family!” calcifer’s sass! steampunk aesthetics! a delightful blend of english and japanese culture! the song Sky Stroll from the soundtrack.

5. Star Wars: A New Hope (1977) dir. George Lucas. Where it all began! The first star wars movie i ever watched. Dad and I used to watch all 6 star wars films whenever i got really sick and had to stay home from school for like 2 days -- followed up by a spaceballs viewing lmaooo. “Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.” “Somebody’s got to save our skins!” I love my kids!

6. How to Train Your Dragon (2010) dir. Chris Sanders and Dean Dublois. Baby hiccup is adoreable! Dragons that are just huge cats! iconic! showstopping! The shots of hiccup and astrid flying on toothless tfor the first time together going through the aurora and the clouds? art! “da tada we’re dead!” the first time he actually rides toothless and the music! a wholesome coming of age film!

7. The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner. Do i have to say anything? this is an absolute classic that i am ashamed to say i didn’t see until the 10th grade. “death cannot stop true love it can only delay it” “as you wish” the dread pirate roberts! “inconceivable!” “you seem a decent fellow i hate to kill you.”

I tag @otterandterrier​ @itsthenerdwonder​ @fantastic-nonsense​ and @lyds​ to do your top 7 comfort films, if you want!

Seven honorable mentions, under the cut:

1. My Neighbor Totoro (1988) dir. Hayao Miyazaki. The nature! Literally everything is wholesome and the world is soft and kind! the music! fantasy creatures that are basically giant fluffy friends!

2. Mathilda (1999) dir. Danny Devito. the dahl book was one of my favorite books a child and i literally re-read it so many times that the cover fell off. This movie, while not a faithful adaptation of the book in detail (americanizing it for one) is so wholesome and fun i overlook that. Mara Wilson was exactly the right choice to play Mathilda.

3. The Brides of Dracula (1960) dir. Terrence Fisher. this is, techinically a “horror” film, but really it’s a delightful, super hokey low budget hodgepodge of vampire lore, repressed sexuality and peter cushing as van helsing the vampire slayer. dracula makes 0 appearences in the film. a vampire is literally killed in by the shadow of a windmill that is vaguely cross shaped. all of the hammer horror films are delightful and star peter cushing. you should watch them.

4. Practical Magic (1998) dir. Griffin Dunne. LISTEN i love this movie. this is a movie that is unapolegetically about women. the sisters kill (accidentally) an abusive man and strengthen their relationship. Also the soundtrack is stevie nicks music so uhhhh double bingo for the witchyness. all of sandra bullock’s 1990s movie are unappreciated, send tweet.

5. The Sound of Music (1965) dir. Robert Wise. The music! Dame Julie Andrews! This film was my childhood introduction to musicals (along with oliver). We all learned our solfège from Do Re Mi in this movie -- don’t lie. Also the flat out beauty of basically every shot in this movie??? unparalleled. Georg and Maria being peak romance???? “for here you are, standing there, loving me // whether or not you should” “somewhere out there, there’s a young woman who I suspect will never be a nun” “you brought music back into this house” The strong anti-nazi themes throughout the whole shebang! Maria and Georg dance the landler alone in the garden! Peak! Romance!

6. The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephan Sommers. Rick and Evie are Peak Romance! Need I say more. “I am a librarian!” the get wrekt brambridge scholars scene! Evie!

7. The princess diaries (2001) dir. Gary Marshall This is such a lovely coming of age movie and i have many fond memories of watching this one with my cousins when were kids having sleepovers. i think my cousin E. had it on VHS. Dame Julie Andrews! Queen Clarisse x Joe!

I could go on, but uhhh i probably shouldn’t lmaoo.