#disagreements are conversations and even if they get a little emotional sometimes we're not fighting

[feyriejane]

it turns out that I'm not this horrible manipulative person who's angry all the time ive just been told that my entire life whenever I didn't give someone what they wanted.

[putellas14]

Crush (Ona Batlle x Reader)

850 followers? 🤯Thank you all so much for putting up with the chaos of this page to get a fic every so often. Writing an Ona fic for this felt right since she was the first person I wrote for here. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for sticking around. 🤍

Summary/anon request: R tells Alexia she likes Ona while Ona has a similar conversation with Jenni. Can the team moms make these two get over their issues to tell each other how they feel?

“Ale, could I talk to you for a minute?” you asked. You played with the strap of your bag, hoping your captain wouldn’t be too mad about what you were about to tell her. You’d been struggling with it since you’d met Ona and you had tried, unsuccessfully, to get over it yourself. To get over her yourself. Alexia had been a really good friend to you until now and you hoped that wouldn’t change.

“Of course. What’s up?”

You looked around, seeing some of the other girls still lingering around the locker room. “Let’s get a coffee and talk?” She nodded and followed you out the locker room and into the cafeteria. There weren't many girls there.

"Find us a seat. I'll get the coffees," she said.

You picked a table in the corner of the room that only had two chairs, hoping to avoid anyone else joining this conversation. You loved your teammates but sometimes they didn't know boundaries. Alexia put the coffees on the table, giving you a soft smile when you looked up at her. Sitting in the seat opposite you, she waited for you to say something. You both silently drank your coffees for a minute before you finally decided it was now or never.

"Look, Capi, I've been really struggling the last few months with something. And it's awkward. And we're a team. And I didn't know who else to talk to. This has never happened to me before. And I've tried everything I can to just move past it but I can't."

Alexia reached across the table and took your hand in hers, gently rubbing her thumb over yours. It immediately helped to calm you down. "Look, kid. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. Just tell me."

You looked up at her and your eyes caught Ona's over Alexia's shoulder. She gave you a worried smile, taking in the position you were sitting with Alexia. You nodded at her to let her know everything was okay.

Alexia looked over her shoulder to see who had caught your attention and bit her cheek to hold the smile when she turned back to you. She'd been watching you and Ona dance around each other ever since your first call up a year ago. "Hey," she said gently, tugging your hand to get your attention back. "Is this about Ona?"

Your eyes widened. Had you been that obvious? Did that mean Ona knew as well? Mortified, you lifted your free hand to cover your eyes and nodded.

"It's okay." She pulled your other hand away from your face and held it as well. "It's really okay."

"Does everyone know?"

"No, honey. But Ona is like my little sister and I've seen the way you look at her."

"I've tried really hard to get over her. I hate dating anyone on the team because it messes with dynamics." Alexia arched an eyebrow at you. "I'm not as good at controlling my emotions as the rest of you are. I mean, I don't even know if she likes me the same way I like her, so it might not even matter." You'd learned early on that there were a few couples on the team. You envied them. You could never tell when they were fighting or having disagreements because they never brought it to training or games. You knew you weren't as mature as that, though. And that scared you.

"How long have you been trying to get over her?"

"A year," you admitted. You tried not to look over her to Ona again, although you could feel Ona's eyes on you.

"Y/N, that's a really long time. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to see if she feels the same way?"

"No," you slipped your hands out of hers to take a sip of your coffee, "no, I can't. Please don't say anything. I just needed to tell someone because I was going crazy keeping it to myself."

"Of course not. I'll keep your secret. You can talk to me about it any time you need."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for unloading on you. I just didn't know who else to talk to."

"Don't apologize. And for what it's worth, I think you're actually very good at handling your emotions on the field. It's one of the things Jenni and I have talked about when discussing lineups for games we know are going to be physically intense. You never lose your cool, no matter how aggressive or dirty the other teams are playing."

"That's different," you muttered.

"I don't think it's as different as you're making it out to be. But I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want to. Even though I still think you owe it to yourself to say something if you've been feeling this for so long."

"I'll think about it. Thanks for listening, Ale."

"Anytime you want to talk, you just have to ask," she said, standing up. Moving to your side of the table, she pulled you up and into a hug. "I promise everything will be okay."

You leaned on her for a minute, hoping she was right. Alexia was usually right about things. But you were so uncertain about this entire situation. And it was really leaving you feeling uneasy. "Thanks, Ale," you muttered into her shoulder. She rubbed a hand over your shoulder when she stepped back.

"You know where to find me if you ever want to talk more about it. But please think about what I said."

You nodded at her. "I will. See you later." Picking up the cups, you took them over to the dish rack to be cleaned. You felt Ona come up behind you so you weren't shocked to find her standing so close when you turned.

"You okay?" she asked, reaching out to touch your arm.

"All good." You offered her a smile. If either of you had known about the conversation occurring across the room from where you stood, neither of you would have been as comfortable in that moment.

On the other side of the room, Alexia dropped down next to Jenni. "Everything okay?" Jenni asked, rubbing a hand over Alexia's thigh.

"Apparently we have been setting too good of an example for the kids," she answered quietly. She picked up a few blueberries from Jenni's plate to eat.

"Meaning?" Jenni nudged the plate over towards her girlfriend.

"Y/N has a crush. And she's afraid it'll hurt team dynamics if something happens between them." Alexia turned to look at Jenni when she felt her stiffen. Narrowing her eyes, she studied Jenni's face. "You know something. Spill."

"No. Nothing. I know nothing." Jenni yelped when Alexia pinched her side. Pouting, she rubbed over the spot. "That was mean, babe."

"No secrets," Alexia reminded her.

"Fine. But when she comes for me, I'm throwing you in front of her. That kid has a nasty temper." Jenni looked up to see you and Ona leaving the cafeteria together. "Ona's got a crush, too."

"Let me guess. Y/N?" Jenni nodded. "Why are they like this?"

"I don't know but it's awfully cute, don't you think?"

"Yeah, adorable." Jenni drifted off for a minute, thinking back to when her and Alexia were that age, dancing around each other. "So how are we going to get them together?"

Alexia gave her a wide grin, pleased they were on the same page. Leaning conspiratorially towards her, she whispered a few suggestions in her ear.

The following day, Alexia called you and Ona over to sit at her table during breakfast. "Morning, girls." They both mumbled good morning and sat down next to each other. Alexia looked across the table at Jenni as you and Ona each took your first sip of coffee.

"Hey, Y/N," Jenni said. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What's up?" You put your coffee down and picked up a strawberry to eat as you looked over at Jenni.

"My baby cousin is coming to Seville the last week of the month. I was wondering if you'd take her out while she's there. Show her a good time." Jenni avoided looking at Ona but she could feel the woman glaring at her. Ona was fully aware of Jenni's "baby cousin" and her antics. When Jenni had asked Ona to show her around Manchester, the girl had tried everything in her power to get Ona into bed. Ona had called Jenni and cursed her for sticking her with "a piranha."

"She can't. She's supposed to be in Manchester that weekend," Ona said before you could respond.

"Oh, that's okay. She'll be there mid-week," Jenni said with a smile.

"Yeah, of course," you said, offering Jenni a smile. "It's no problem. I love showing people around my city. Just give her my number and tell her to text me." You looked over to give Ona a smile but she was busying herself with her breakfast. Narrowing your eyes, you studied her profile and missed the sly smile Jenni sent to Alexia.

Ona's mood didn't get any better as the day went on. In fact, it just got worse. She ignored you through most of the training. Even when you put her favorite playlist on. Usually she'd do a little jig she'd learned from Ivanna when she heard it but not today. You tried to ask her if she was alright a couple times, but she said she just wanted to focus.

That was when you got a glimpse of what life would be like if you dated Ona and ever fought. Further proving your point. As her mood got worse, so did yours. By the end of training, you were in such a foul mood that all you wanted to do was go back to your room and take a nap. You escaped as soon as your coach released you all, running back to your room. You took a long hot shower and pulled on a sweatshirt and shorts. Laying on your bed, you stared up at the ceiling.

Despite what Alexia said, you knew you couldn't do this. You couldn't put the team through this. You didn't even know what was wrong with Ona and it was still able to upset you. Setting an alarm for dinner, you shut your eyes and pushed back the few tears that wanted to roll down your cheeks.

The pounding sounded distant. And not at all like the alarm you'd set. Your eyes slowly opened and you realized it was knocking at your door. Rolling from the bed, you walked to the door and pulled it open. Ona stood on the other side, dressed in nearly the same thing as you.

"Sorry, were you napping?" she asked, looking at you.

"I was. But it's fine." Stepping back, you let her into your room. Silently, she walked past you, stopping in the center of the room. "Are you feeling better?" you asked once the door was shut.

"Not really. But I'll sort it out."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay." You both lapsed into silence, neither sure what to say next. Ona reached out to play with the pocket of your jacket before pulling you into a hug. She buried her face in your neck and held on. You held her to you, feeling the tension slowly seep out of her body. Your own shoulders slowly relaxed as you held her.

"Should we get some dinner?" she asked, stepping back. You played with the end of her hair and nodded.

----

When you got back to Seville, you had a few weeks before Jenni's cousin was set to come to town. You cleaned your apartment and went to training and tried not to think about the extra-long hug Ona had given you when you'd left each other at the end of camp. It was only a month until you saw each other again. But it felt like ages.

Jenni's cousin, Carla, was nice enough. You'd met her a couple times at games over the last few years. She was traveling for a week before meeting up with her girlfriend in Portugal. The two of you had a lot in common and you had fun with her.

You couldn't ignore that Ona had stopped responding to you as soon as you told her Carla was with you, though. It was bothering you. Not a single response. Nothing to your 'good morning' or 'good night' texts. Nothing to you asking about training or her day. It had only been two days but you missed her. You knew she was perfectly fine because Man U had been posting videos of her from training.

Her non-response had you dreading the upcoming weekend. You'd never dreaded seeing Ona before. It wasn't a feeling you liked.

When Carla left, you called Alexia, nearly at your wits end. You were meant to leave in the morning for Manchester. And you really weren't sure that you should. Ona still hadn't said a word to you. You missed your best friend but it felt like she didn't miss you at all. You weren't sure how you would handle spending a weekend in Manchester with Ona acting cold towards you. 

"Ale," you said when she answered. You pulled the cover over your head, blocking out the city lights creeping through the curtains. "Ona won't talk to me."

"What do you mean, honey? What happened?"

"I don't know. She's been off since camp and then she just stopped replying to me a few days ago. Has she said anything to you? Or Jenni?" You could hear her ask Jenni if she'd heard from Ona this week. 

"We haven't talked to her, Y/N."

"I don't want to go to Manchester tomorrow," you were crying now. You felt so stupid. How could you have been so stupid to fall for Ona? How were you supposed to face her at camp next week?

"Let me call her. Let me see if I can figure out what's going on," she offered.

"I still don't want to go. Ale, I'm messing everything up for the team already and we're not even together," you cried.

"You're not. You haven't messed anything up."

"Our dynamics are going to be all off because of this."

"They're not. I promise you, Y/N. You have an incredible capacity to keep yourself focused on the field."

"Capi, I don't want to feel like this," you cried. "I don't want to like her."

"Sweetie, you can't just turn your feelings off like that." She let you cry for a minute because what else could she really do? "Come to Barcelona this weekend," she offered gently.

"What?" Wiping your sleeve across your face, you tried to catch some of the tears.

"Well you don't want to go to Manchester. And I don't want you to be alone. So come to Barcelona. You can stay at our house."

You thought about it for a moment. You didn't want to be alone. And you certainly didn't want to go to Manchester. "Okay. I'd like that."

"Great. It's settled then. We'll get you from the train station."

"Thank you."

"Not needed, kid. Get some sleep. We'll see you tomorrow." 

You looked up the train schedule for the next morning and saw there was one leaving at 8 that would get in early afternoon. That was perfect. You quickly cancelled your ticket to Manchester and texted Ona that you wouldn't be coming. You didn't expect her to respond but you turned your phone off anyways, just in case. You didn't really want to see what she had to say if she did respond.

By the time you made it to Barcelona, you were pissed off. Your sadness had worn off and now you were just mad. As far as you knew, you hadn't done anything to warrant Ona's behavior. And if you had, she was acting immature by not telling you what the problem was.

The four coffees you'd had on the train ride probably hadn't helped to calm you down at all.

After dropping your bag off, you went for a run with Jenni and Alexia. You weren't yet in the mood to really talk to them. But they talked to each other, poked fun at the frown on your face, and tried to get a smile out of you. By mile 5, they finally got a laugh out of you. You slowly started relaxing. The anger had taken over your body, had made you tense on the train. By the time you were back at their apartment, you felt more like yourself.

"Is it okay if we go meet Aitana for her birthday? Or do you want to stay home?" Jenni asked when you were all back inside.

"Of course that's okay. I didn't mean to ruin any of your plans."

Alexia put a hand on your shoulder. "You're not ruining anything. Aita would've understood it if you wanted a quiet night in."

"Yeah. No, it's fine, let's go."

And that's how you found yourself sitting at a table with a bunch of the Barca and national team girls two hours later. If there was one thing these girl could do, it was lift your spirits. Over the next hour your mind didn’t wander to Ona once. Your mind didn’t remember that you were mad and hurt and sad. All it knew was love and happiness and joy and laughter.

Until she walked in with Laia Alexandrei an hour into dinner.

“We’re so sorry we’re late. Ona’s flight was delayed.”

“Funny how you could make time for this.” It was out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

"You're the one who cancelled last minute." She jerked her chair back and sat down, refusing to look in your direction. "I see this is what was more important."

You were taken aback. How was she even pretending to make any of this your fault? Fine. If she was going to be that way, then you could ignore her too. You turned back to Jenni, who was looking across the table at Alexia, both of them appearing to talk to each other without actually talking.

"What?" you asked quietly.

"Nothing," Jenni said, looking at you. "Are you okay?" she whispered.

You flashed her a smile, intent on putting Ona to the back of your mind again. "Perfect. I'm here with my friends. Celebrating Aita's birthday. I'm perfect." For the rest of dinner, you ignored Ona's presence at the table. Usually the two of you would make eye contact, would talk to each other, would share your inside jokes. But not tonight.

You ignored the deep, deep ache that was settling in your chest the longer you sat at that table. The ache spread through your entire body when Aitana cut her cake and Laia leaned over to give her a birthday kiss. When it was appropriate, you excused yourself to escape to the bathroom.

You took a few deep breaths, leaning against the sink. "It's okay," you muttered to yourself. "Everything's fine. Friends fight. You'll get through this." You washed your hands in cold water, barely feeling it. Taking a few more deep breaths, you went back out to the table.

"I snagged you a slice of cake," Jenni said when you sat down again.

"Thanks."

"We can take off after this, if you want," she whispered.

"I'm fine," you answered, reaching for your wine. "We can stay as long as you guys want. Don't worry about me."  She ran her fingers through the ends of your hair.

"We didn't know she was going to be here, kid. We promise."

"It's okay, Jenni. We can't control other people. It's fine." But you knew she didn't believe you. You could feel her eyes on you for the remainder of the night. You kept the smile plastered on your face, no matter how much it hurt now. After you'd come back from the bathroom, you hadn't been able to lie to yourself anymore. You were really hurt. So hurt you didn't know how you would get up tomorrow.

But tonight, you needed to be there for your friends.

Tomorrow was tomorrow's problem.

At the end of the night, you hugged all your friends good night. You looked at Ona across the room, debating whether to say good night to her. You wanted to. You badly wanted to hug her and apologize and make everything fine between you again.

But you couldn't. You couldn't forget how she'd made you feel. How unwanted and unimportant she'd made you feel. How easily she had dismissed your feelings, like they weren't important.

If you knew that she was feeling the exact same things as you, you would have given into your heart and gone to her.

But Alexia came to you, asking if you were ready. With one last glance across the room, you nodded. That night, you stared at the ceiling of their guest room and barely slept for an hour. The following morning, you knew you had bags under your eyes as you sat across from Alexia at the table, sipping your coffee.

"What shall we do today?" she asked.

"Doesn't matter. I just don't have the energy to run into Ona today. If you wouldn't mind just texting Laia and seeing where they are today, I'd like to just avoid that."

"You'll have to talk to her eventually." Alexia picked up her phone and sent out a quick text to Laia.

"We'll see each other at camp. That's soon enough."

----

But it was still too soon. She was in the lobby when you walked in. You greeted your coach and got your room key. And attempted to keep your breathing even. Alexia had promised you that she'd made certain you weren't assigned to share a room with Ona. At least that was a small comfort.

You soon learned that even though you weren't sharing a room with her, she was just across the hall from you. The two of you bumped into each other on more than one occasion leaving your rooms. Luckily, you hadn’t had the displeasure of actually having to work with her alone or be around her alone. You didn’t think you’d be able to handle that just yet.

Alexia and Jenni tried what they could to shield you from her. And you were extremely grateful to them for that. They didn’t have to. They loved Ona. They’d known Ona for longer than they’d known you. You would have understood if they’d sided with Ona here but you still would have been hurt.

You couldn’t help it. Without Ona by your side, you were feeling overwhelmed by your emotions. You wished the two of you could be in the same space without taking digs at each other. You wished you could just ask her what the problem was and trust that she would tell you. You wished for so many things. So many things that you wished you didn’t wish for anything. You knew wishing didn’t do anything for you. You knew wishing wouldn’t get you anywhere.

 The day of the friendly against Switzerland, you rushed out of room for breakfast. You couldn't believe how late you were already. Hopping on one foot down the hall, you yelled for the person in the elevator to hold it open. You could see the doors beginning to close as you neared and you hurled your body through the opening, hoping you'd make it through.

Seeing Ona standing in the elevator alone made you wish the doors had shut fully before you'd gotten there.

"Late?" she asked.

"You are, too," you answered with a sneer. Bending, you tied your shoe properly. The elevator came to an abrupt stop and your head snapped up. You hated elevators to begin with. Being trapped in an elevator was one of your worst nightmares. To be trapped with Ona right now was a different kind of nightmare.

Standing, you pressed the button for the first floor. Nothing happened. You tried the call button but nothing happened.

"I'll try to call down," Ona said. As she dialed the number on her phone, you realized you left your phone in your room. Of course you had. The one time you actually needed it and you didn't have it. You could hear her tell the front desk that you were stuck in the elevator but your heartbeat was getting louder. When she disconnected the phone, she turned to tell you what they said.

But you were too focused on yourself in that moment. You could feel your throat beginning to close up. It was too hot. The fire was spreading through your entire body. Your breathing was too heavy. You could barely breathe. You tried to give yourself air by pulling on the collar of your shirt. Sliding down, you sat down hard, barely able to stop your head from hitting the handle.

"Y/N. Hey." Ona crouched down in front of you. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried not to take anymore of your surroundings in. You could tell Ona was talking to you because her breath was hitting your face but you weren't making out any of her words.  "Look at me, amor." She grabbed your face, forcing you to meet her eyes. "Match your breathing to mine. In," she breathed in, "out" and she let it out. You tried to follow her instructions.

Her hands on your face and her proximity to you should have felt suffocating. But it wasn't. She wasn't. She was a comfort. You tried to focus your attention on her hands on your face rather than on the small space of the elevator. You tried to follow her instructions to match your breathing to hers.

When you began to feel right again, you asked her to step back and give you some space. You started to stand, slowly. Ona immediately put her hands under your elbows to hold on to you. She dropped her hands when you glared at her. You held onto the handlebar for dear life and saw Ona retreat into the far corner.

"Are you okay?" she asked, quietly.

"I'm fine now." You wrapped your arms around your stomach.

"Why didn't you come to Manchester?" she asked after an awkward moment of silence.

You looked over at Ona. Ignoring the sad look on her face, you said, "You're kidding me, right?"

"I -" The radio let out a loud static sound followed by the front desk clerk letting them know someone had arrived to open the doors for them. "Jenni said I was idiot for hurting you. I wanted to ask what she meant. But she just called me an idiot again."

"Because you are." You rubbed the side of your head. "I don't want to fight with you anymore, Ona."

"I don't want to fight anymore either."

"Great. So please respect that and don't talk to me anymore."

"Wait a second. I don't want to fight anymore. I mean, I want to be friends again."

"I can't be friends with someone who completely disregards what I'm feeling." The back of your eyes burned but you refused to cry. Not right now. Not in front of her.

"Y/N, I put you on a pedestal. Everything is about how and what you feel."

"You left me alone, Ona. No explanation. No response. Nothing. You just, you disappeared. You made me feel like I was unimportant."

"No, I - "

"Don't tell me what I felt!" you exploded. "Please. Don't do that," you said, almost whispering the last words.

"I'm sorry." She folded her arms over her chest and leaned back, her chin tucked down slightly. You knew that was her signal that she was done talking. That her brain was shutting down to the outside world and she was going into herself. That worked just fine for you. You didn't want to talk to her anyways.

The two of stewed in silence while the doors of the elevator were slowly pried opened. While you allowed yourselves to be helped out of there. And then you went your separate ways. There was no need for anymore words right now. The damage was apparent to the both of you. The way to peace entirely unknown, if a path even existed.

Walking into breakfast, you'd never felt so disconnected from the girls around you. Ona had always been your anchor to them, however odd that was. Even this past week when all you had exchanged with her was snide comments, her presence helped you feel like you belonged there. It was a feeling that didn't make much sense to you and you didn't know exactly what to call this feeling.

Without looking around the room, you knew Ona wasn't in the room. You would have known. Taking a couple breaths to try to bring yourself back to this moment, you went to the food table and filled a plate with food. You'd seen Jenni at the corner table while you waited for eggs and she's motioned for you to come to her.

Taking the seat across from them, you started eating silently.

"You good, kid?" Jenni asked, her eyes slightly wide, watching you eat spoonfuls of food without really chewing.

"Fine. Got stuck in the elevator." You washed it all down with your coffee.

"Alone?"

Narrowing your eyes at her, you said, "No." Normally, she would have asked if you were okay and be more focused on your wellness. "I got stuck with Ona."

“Mission accomplished,” Jenni said, holding out her hand to high five Alexia. When Alexia slapped her hand, you narrowed your eyes at them again.

“You made the elevator stop?” You couldn’t believe they would do something like that to you.

“You two needed to talk," Alexia answered. "And you weren’t going to without a little push.”

"I expect this kind of behavior from her," you tilted your head towards Jenni, "but not from you, Ale."

"Okay, your annoyance for us aside," Jenni said, "did you two talk?"

The tips of your ears began to burn. "I had a panic attack," you whispered.

"Oh my god. Are you okay?" Alexia asked, immediately getting out of her seat and rounding the table to pull you into a hug.

"I'm fine now. I don't know what happened but everything just started closing in on me and I couldn't breathe."

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Alexia said, pulling you closer again. "We didn't mean for that to happen. We just wanted you two to talk."

"Well, then, mission failed," you mumbled.

Alexia let you go and sat back in her seat. "Tell us."

"It was awful, guys. I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore."

"What?" Jenni exploded, drawing the attention of several others, including Ona. She waved them away saying everything was fine. "Sorry," she said when you glared at her. "What do you mean, exactly, Y/N?"

"Jenni, those words aren't confusing," you said annoyed. "I said I don't want to be friends anymore."

"Why did you say that?"

"I don't know, okay? I don't want to talk about this anymore." You began to gather your things. "I'm tired. I need to relax before the game. I think I'll go to my room for a bit. Excuse me."

You retreated to your room, to your bed, hiding under the covers until it was time for the team to meet. You ignored your roommate trying to make conversation and put your earbuds in, endlessly scrolling TikTok. You were already regretting telling Ona you didn't want to be friends. You wanted Ona back more than anything. You weren't lying when you said you didn't know why you had said those words. They had come out before you could fully think about it. And you hated yourself for it. You hated the look on Ona's face. You hated the way she retreated into herself. You silently cried under the covers while you ate your snacks.

When 2:00 rolled around, you washed your face and straightened your ponytail. You put a small amount of mascara on and tried to smile at your reflection. It was game time and for the next few hours, that pitch was all that mattered.

You made sure to follow your exact pre-game rituals. They helped you get focused and ready for what was to come. Plus, you were superstitious. If you didn't do it exactly right, that could be why you had a bad performance.

During the team meeting, you focused on your coach and his words. After the meeting, he pulled you aside and told you that he'd like to give one of the newer girls some playing time in your position towards the end of the match. It was a friendly and you didn't much care. Plus, she was a great young player and needed time with the team to prove herself.

The match was relatively uninteresting. At the half, Spain was up 3-0. You were happy to be winning but you really felt the need to have a fight right now. That's what you wanted. You wanted a battle for the ball, you wanted a battle for a goal, you just wanted a battle.

What you did not want was to hear the sound of Ona's head hitting the goal post and to hear it echo throughout the stadium. What you did not want was to see was her body, unmoving, crumpled in front of Sandra. Screaming her name, you and the med team ran as fast as possible towards her.

"Ona!" you said, dropping down next to her, opposite Sandra. You hovered over her face, fear coursing through every corner of your body. "Ona, Ona wake up." You grabbed her waist, your fingers digging in. "Ona. Come back to me," you whispered. Someone tugged your arm to get you to move back and you reluctantly stood while the medics checked her. You saw her eyes flutter open, and she looked around her confused.

Alexia held onto your arm as they put Ona on a stretcher. You didn’t realize you had started to shake until she rubbed your shoulder and whispered that Ona would be fine. The doctors would take care of her and you’d all go to see her right after the game finished.

You finished the match in a haze. When coach finally pulled you out in the 75th, you tried to get off the field and to the medical room. Laia stopped you and said they had taken Ona to the hospital.

“Oh,” you said quietly. Sitting down, you tried to focus on the game. But your thoughts were on Ona. You couldn’t handle it if she was really injured. And what if it was worse than that? What if your last words to her were that you didn’t want to be friends with her anymore? You didn’t know if you’d be able to handle that. You didn’t know if you would ever be able to get over that pain.

Jenni was subbed out in the last couple minutes and she beelined directly to you, pulling you close against her side for the remainder of the match. You rested your body against her, your head on her shoulder, and tried not to cry. You could not cry here. The tears were prickling the corner of your eyes. Biting the inside of your cheek, you tried to hold it back. You could not cry here.

When the game was over, you made your way onto the pitch to meet with the other players. You greeted them as quickly as possible before you were ushered off the field by Alexia, who had somehow managed to arrange a car to take you to the hospital.

You lied to the security guard to get access to Ona's room. You weren't sure what this hospital's rules were and you weren't going to risk being denied access. You weren't sure what you expected to see in her room, but Ona sleeping peacefully was not it. Hoping not to wake her, you took your boots off and left them by the door, tip-toeing to the chair next to her bed.

Putting a hand on the bed next to hers, you tested to see how deeply asleep she was. She didn't move. Lifting her hand, you pressed a light kiss to her fingers. You laid her hand back down on the bed next to her and rested your hand on top of hers.

For the next half hour, you talked to her, about everything and nothing. Telling her what you had been doing since your cancelled trip to Manchester. There were so many times you had done something and wanted to text her. So many sunrises you'd watched that you wanted to send her photos of. So many coffees you'd wanted to share with her. So many moments of your life that should have been happy but had been shrouded in a little dark cloud because you couldn't share it with her.

"I didn't mean what I said in the elevator," you whispered. "I want you back in my life so badly. I miss you so much, Ona. I love you."

The door banged open behind you, jarring Ona awake. Her eyes flicked around the room, trying to orient herself, while Jenni told off Patri for being so loud about her entrance. Ona's eyes landed on you, and moved down to where your hand still covered hers. "What's going on?" she mumbled.

"I'll get the doctor," Aitana said.

"Ona, do you remember what happened?" you asked quietly, your fingers tightening on hers.

"Not really." Her eyes welled up. "Y/N. What are you doing here?"

"We're all here, Ona," Patri said. "You hit your head pretty good during the game."

"Who let you all in here?" the doctor asked as he came into the room. "Ms. Batlle, how are you feeling?"

"Okay. Just have a headache."

"You took a hard hit to your head. You have a mild concussion. We were waiting for you to wake up but we'll be sending you back to camp pretty shortly here. I talked to your medics there already. They'll take over your care from here. Basic concussion precautions, Ms. Batlle. Come back if there are any changes."

"So we can take her back?" Alexia asked. "Has she taken an meds we should know about?"

"Someone will be here in a few minutes to discharge her and then she's free to go. I sent a message to your medical team but she's taken meds for the headache and should continue taking those so long as the headache persists. I trust you can get her back to camp safely."

"Yes, doctor," Alexia affirmed. He left them alone and Alexia turned to the large group. She ordered the majority of them back on the bus. She stayed behind with Jenni, Laia, and you to bring Ona back in a car.

"Did we win?" Ona asked when the room cleared.

"5-0," Laia answered.

"Then it was worth it," Ona said. She closed her eyes again, letting her head rest back against the pillow. You and Laia exchanged a look, both rolling your eyes. Ona would always put the game above all else, even her own health.

Over the next few days, you and Laia took turns watching over Ona. You wanted to talk to Ona, really talk to her about what had happened. But the medical staff had told you all that Ona was not to have any stress. And you didn't want to be the reason Ona didn't heal properly.

For Ona, these days with you were something out of a dream. She didn't believe she had woken up back to a world where you were treating her with care and neither of you were making snide comments towards the other. She had asked Laia to pinch her on multiple occasions. Laia had pinched her but had always called her an idiot while doing so. Ona had to agree. She had been an idiot. After a long night talking with Jenni, Ona had finally admitted what happened. And Jenni had called her an idiot a few more times. Ona never told Laia what happened or of her feelings for you, but the way the two of you danced around each other had made it obvious to her.

On the third night, the final night you would be staying here, you had volunteered to stay with her after dinner. Most of the team had gone back to their home, camp having concluded. A few of you had remained, opting to stay behind and watch over Ona in the time before she was allowed to travel home. You had managed to avoid being alone with her until now, not wanting to begin any type of argument while she was supposed to be resting.

And that had been your plan for this evening as well. Play some games with Ona, watch over her while she slept, and then leave. But Ona had other ideas. You could feel her eyes on you while you set up the game. "We'll just play a short round before bed, Ona," you said, dealing her five cards. "I know you've been resting a lot but the doctors said it was important you sleep well every night."

"You sound worse than my mom when she calls," she murmured.

"We always did get along well," you said, smiling.

"She asked if I would bring you to dad's birthday party."

"Oh." You discarded a couple cards, drawing from the deck to replace them. With a satisfied whoop, you dropped the ace on the bed between you and moved your piece forward on the board.

"Oh? Just 'oh.' Any other comment?"

"I'm not sure there's anything else to say, Ona."

"Do you want to come home with me for dad's birthday?" she asked, looking at you over her cards.

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course. I always want you around."

That familiar hurt in your chest made itself known and you lowered your eyes, focusing on the cards in your hand. You refused to let those terrible feelings ruin this moment. This moment that was nothing but pleasant.

"Y/n/N? You okay?" she asked, kicking your leg with hers.

"Yup. It's your turn."

"Forget the game. I want to talk."

"Ona, the doctor said you need to rest. I don't think we should have this conversation right now. Let's just play the game."

"I've done nothing but rest for days. I'm rested. I want to talk to you. Please. I'm fine."  Ona took the cards from your hand, and put them with hers on the bedside table. She moved the board across the bed so nothing remained between you. Moving closer, she let her legs rest of either side of you. "You said I made you feel unimportant," she said quietly. "I am very sorry I made you feel that. You are incredibly important in my life, Y/N."

You  met her eyes, trying to judge the sincerity of her words. "Why did you disappear, Ona? Why didn't you answer any of my messages?"

"I tried so many times. Every time I picked up my phone to text you, I just saw Carla with you in my mind. And I hated it."

"Carla?" you asked, confused. "What does she have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, really. I was jealous. It was stupid. I was an idiot. I thought Jenni sent her to you to try to set you up with her. When I met Carla, she tried very hard to flirt me into bed. And I was mad at Jenni for doing that even when she knew the truth. And I didn't know how to talk to you about it."

"Ona, you're not making any sense."

"I know." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before taking your hands and scooting a little closer. "You are very important to me, Y/N. And I'm jealous of anyone who gets close to you. Because I, well, I like you, a lot, Y/N. And I told Jenni just a few days before she set up this visit with Carla. And I was irritated with Jenni for that. I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. You're special, Y/N."

You sat in disbelief for a moment. Thinking about what Ona said. Thinking about your own feelings. All your brain could come up with was, "Those assholes both knew." Ona looked at you confused. "They did this on purpose."

"Huh? Who?"

"Jenni and Alexia. You said you told Jenni just a few days before that you like me. And I told Alexia the day before that I like you. They did this on purpose. Idiots."

"Hold on. Back up. You told Alexia what?"

"Er, right." In your annoyance with your captains, you didn't realize exactly what you were saying and now that you were being asked to repeat it, you were suddenly nervous. You silently chastised yourself for being nervous. Ona had already told you she liked you. There was nothing to actually be nervous about. "I told Alexia that I like you, that I have feelings for you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

You raised your eyebrow at her. "Pot. Kettle."

"Point taken."

"But it was more that I was trying to get over you and I didn't know how to." At the defeated look that crossed Ona's face, you continued, "I failed, don't worry. Even despising you the last month, I couldn't get over you. And I was scared to date someone on the team because what would happened when we fought?" You turned your hand over under Ona's and curled your fingers around her. "The last month was the worst but it also showed me that I can continue being a good teammate and player even when we're off."

"I could've told you that wasn't something you ever needed to worry about. You're incredible on the field, amor."

Your mind went back to that day in the elevator, with Ona's hands on your face, her body crouched in front of yours. Look at me, amor. "You called me that before."

"Sorry. It just came out." The tips of her ears turned pink.

"I like it," you admitted. You grinned at each other. "Ona?"

"Y/N," she answered in the same tone.

"Do you think you might want to come to Seville one weekend? So I can take you out on a date?"

"How's this weekend?" The corner of her lip tipped up.

"Wide open."

"Y/N?"

"Ona."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Absolutely."

[mywonuderful]

The Boyz reaction to you getting angry at them

anon request: tbz reacting to you getting angry with them, pls 🥺

genre: angst

warnings: slight swearing

a/n: please note that all these reactions are based on my own perspective and opinion! stupid tumblr only allows 10 gifs per post :(

main masterlist

Sangyeon

having him as a leader of 11 boys, I'm pretty sure he would be the most mature out of everyone even he can be a baby sometimes

“just how long did you think you could hide this from me?” you raised your voice

he would be taken back, looking at you with a speechless and shocked expression

he would try to process what to say next and also the fact that you raised your voice, which is something you almost never do.

I think he would be someone who would be careful around the words he'll say, especially during tensed conversations like this

he would approach the situation maturely, trying to fix the problem as best as possible and in ways were it can be prevented in the future

Jacob

okay first of all, we're taking about the angelic and patience boy here

“I’m fine, stop asking me.” your tone was firm as your shook off the his hand that was on your shoulder

he would be more confused, rather than shocked by your actions. He could sense that you're quite stressed out, he would softly ask you what's going on, being patient and responsive with everything you have to say

when disagreement comes, he would try to approach it in a manner where heated arguments would be avoided at all costs

because you know how sweet and composed this man is

he might leave to give you space if things do become a bit too heated but in the end, he'll try to resolve the matter and the both of you will live happily ever after~

Younghoon

he is a softie

“YOU WHAT?” your eyes almost popping out of it’s sockets

I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up tearing up, crying

because his heart is just full of softness and anything hurting it will just lead to him drowning in his tears

I have a feeling that you'll end up comforting him, even if you're mad at him

but then you can't ever stay mad at him, because you'll sense his presence, looking at you in a distance and when you turn to look at him, his there, looking at you with pouted lips and puppy eyes

but if you're actually mad at him, he'll stay serious, trying to figure out what the problem is

Hyunjae

I think he'll be taken back and quiet at the same time

“Fine! I’m tired of doing this anyways.” you left his dorm. He would be too shocked and confused to stop you from leaving

like Jacob, he'll probably think about the whole situation, trying figure out a way to approach you and the problem

the both of you haven't spoken to each other in a couple of days since what happened as he wouldn't be himself, having his head occupied with what you said and your tone

he'll try to get a hold of you, asking to see if you could meet up

he'll be nervous, since he rarely ever sees you like this and would be scared of messing things up, making it worst

he'll make sure to listen to what you have to say first, before expressing himself

Juyeon

don't be fooled by his cool on-stage image, he's a true softie

apparently he gets upset easily too ??

either way, if he saw that you were angry at him, he might be flustered on why and maybe even a little upset that you are

"I can't even look at you right now." you crossed your arms, looking away from him as he mouth parted, eyes wide from your statement before he raised an eyebrow, scoffing.

the both of you might be in a heated argument before one of you leaves or breaks it, letting space of your own. He'll gather his thoughts, trying to see what he might have done to make you mad.

I see him as someone who would apologizes first because you're someone he truly cherishes and he doesn't want any misunderstandings or miscommunications be the reason of anything that he doesn't want to happen

Kevin

his energy, vibe and aurora.... unmatchable I'm afraid

be in all, he would be quite serious and firm

"Moon Hyungseo, this isn't up for debate." he knows you're upset with him, hearing that you called him by his Korean name which was a name he didn't preferred to be called by.

but then hearing that from you and him knowing that you know that he didn't liked to be called by his Korean name might trigger something in him as he may end up snapping back at you, only instantly regretting after the words left his lips would be extremely logical and rational about everything, trying to get to every bit of detail

he isn't someone who likes to argue but when compensating he would definitely take his time and break down what has happened and what needs to be solved

New

I can definitely get the feels that he might be someone more affected by their partner's emotions, especially when it comes to negative ones like argue

“I’m not being ridiculous, you are!” New would be quite hurt yet frustrated by your words, leading up to an argument where the two of you bumped heads

he would end up leaving the room, wanting some space for himself to cool down because the two of you rather have heated bickering.

I don't think he would apologize first because he believes that if he isn't at fault, he shouldn't need to apologize just to make his partner feel better

maybe after a few days, the two of you will end up using the same space where one of you ends up bringing up the argument, apologizing and trying to come to an agreement

Q

him having two sister will put him in a place where he probably has more experience on handling arguments

"Gosh, I can't believe you and your words." you rolled your eyes

he might be someone who has their feelings control them more than their mind in the moment but afterwards, he'll reflect on what he said

I think he might hold a few grudges here and there but tries to not let it get to him during arguments

he might avoid you for a couple of days, probably forgetting in the middle that the two of you fought, casually thinking to you

Juhaknyeon

I feel like he would be very gentle hearted (???) like even when you're mad at him (???)

he looks like someone who has a lot of patience, like Jacob (don't quote me on that though) especially when it comes to his significant other

"And you weren't planning to tell me after all this time?" he would be very calm upon your irritated voice. He wouldn't raise his voice but talk in a way that you may find annoying (???) because you're the worked up one

but nonetheless, he would hide the fact that he's surprised from you angered tone, trying to express a more mature example of himself in front of you

like Q, I think it would take him a few days for him to talk to you because he wants to give you the space you need, but he'll try slipping in short conversations here and there to see if you've calm down bit

Sunwoo

if you've seen him in variety shows, interviews or games you know how unpredictable he could be at times

like how he could go from mr.handsomewithaveryattractivefaceandjawline to whatthehellisgoinginsidehishead with his sudden screams and yells

so I wouldn't be surprised if he talked back at you when you were mad

"I have every right to be mad at you right now." he would roll his eyes, scoff before responding in a aggressive manner, only to end up in a quarrel

he wouldn't think twice about having to think about his actions as his first thought would be to just argue back

your fights may be more intense out of all the members in my opinion since he holds his pride quite high but in no means is that an insult

avoidance between the two of you may go from a couple of days to even weeks depending on the situation but he'll start to feel guilty for ignoring you rather than talking back at you

Eric

this energy boi

although he may be the youngest, I have a feeling that he might handle this situation a bit better than Sunwoo no offence ily sunwoo

but he might be just a tad more logical and rational than him

"What is with you these days? You've been getting on my nerves." he would be speechless as he looked at you with a shocked expressed, trying to register what you just said in front of him

he'll stutter to find his words, scratching his head in confusion before you start to rage

he might mumble a retort under his breath or just end up arguing face to face, before he pulls himself out of the argument, leaving to get some fresh air

you'll end up avoiding him for a couple of days, leaving him helpless as he tried in every possible way to get your attention to talk to you so don't be surprised if you see agyeo from him

he might hold a few grudges, like Q but ends up apologizing, knowing that your relationship holds so much more over an argument