#disclaimer: author is white and not a minority language speaker

[screechthemighty]

I can’t think of a title for this, and therefore feel weird posting it to AO3, but I also didn’t write over 1k words of Caustic getting dunked on not to share it, so...here’s a thing I wrote. Maybe I’ll post it to AO3 later if I can think of something for a title. Also, this is the closest to writing something canon-compliant you will ever see me write.

CW: Racism/xenophobia, character hate (Caustic), google translate/Papago Korean and Hindi (open to corrections, alleged translations at the bottom). 

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Getting paired with Crypto and Caustic was the worst thing to happen to Elliott all week.

It was bad enough that he wasn’t overly fond of either of them (Caustic less so than Crypto, guy gave him the creeps), but they’d been glaring daggers at each other since the whole Crypto is the traitor! No, Caustic is the traitor! thing that had gone down back on Talon. It threw off the vibe. Elliott found himself nervous-rambling more and more as the match went on, which just got him some daggers of his own, which just made him nervous-ramble more, and at this rate it was going to be a miracle if they actually won.

I can’t work under these conditions, he thought as he crouched behind cover, eyes desperately scanning the new environment. Caustic had already put up traps around the room and Crypto was flying his drone around, trying to figure out how screwed they were. They knew it was going to be a bloodbath—there were way too many teams left and it was a late-game ring, that always ended badly—but if they could just avoid the worst of it…

“Have you found anything yet?” Caustic said, in a tone that could only be described as sneering.

“ 나는 여전히 일하고 있다.,” Crypto responded absentmindedly. Elliott didn’t know what that meant, but if he had to guess based on context, it was probably something like, Hold your horses, I’m trying. This part of the map must’ve been absolute shit for drone flying. Too many buildings. “ 왜 현수막을 못 찾겠어 …”

Caustic scoffed. “Fine. Hide behind your language then, coward.”

Elliott froze. Oh, boy. If the vibes had been bad before, they were worse now. Crypto’s gaze snapped up to meet Caustic’s with a glare that was the reason the phrase if looks could kill existed. “I’m still working,” he said slowly, like he was talking to a toddler. “I can’t find a banner. But I haven’t found any evidence of squads nearby.”

“That’s good, right? That’s great news!” Words flew out of Elliott’s mouth before he could stop them. “Not dead yet, right, buddies? Eh?” Crypto had turned his attention back to his drone, leaving Caustic to glare at Elliott. “No? Okay. Shutting up now…”

Once Crypto finally found a banner and confirmed they were in the one tiny portion of the remaining map that didn’t have any squads nearby, and pinged the next ring location, they pushed ahead to set up a possible ambush. Everything was in place, gas traps and drones hidden in little nooks to catch anyone fleeing the ring, and Elliott had even found a triple take, which was pretty great. He was just starting to get into the groove of an ambush when…

“I want to make something clear.”

Uh-oh.

Elliott turned around, bracing himself for an argument. That sounded like an Elliott did something stupid voice from Crypto, and he wasn’t even sure he had done anything yet. Elliott was relieved—then terrified—to see that tone was actually meant for Caustic.

“I’m not hiding behind anything.” Crypto didn’t even sound angry; he just sounded cold. “You might still be hung up on Talon, but I have other things to worry about. I have absolutely nothing to say to you and I’m not going to deny myself my own language to soothe your pointless paranoia. 걱정이 되면 한국어를 배울 수 있다*.” And then, because this situation couldn’t possibly get more intense, Crypto stepped right into Caustic’s personal space. “And if I wanted to call you a small-minded xenophobic viper, you would know my meaning very plainly, Doctor Nox.”

Having four older brothers meant Elliott was pretty good at smelling when a fight was about to break out. And this was definitely, dangerously close to coming to blows. “Hey, uhhh, friendly reminder, all three of us get in trouble if you two start friendly firing,” Elliott said, physically inserting himself between the two of them. That involved getting way closer to either man than he really wanted to, but it was better than the alternative. “So maybe, crazy thought, Caustic can apologize, and we pretend it didn’t happen for another five minutes?”

“I have nothing to apologize for,” Caustic said.

“I don’t want his apology,” Crypto interjected.

“Whatever! I don’t really care! Just don’t kill each other! Okay? Anyone wanna help me actually do this ambush or what?”

They backed down after that. Elliott doubted anything he’d actually said changed their minds. They were probably just sick of the forced physical proximity, but he’d take it as a win. Okay, only a partial win. He was still stuck on a team with the two of them and way too many other people in an increasingly small ring.

“Hey, Crypto, how do you say I’m gonna die in Korean?”

“You’re not going to die,” Crypto sighed. Then, “But it’s 난 죽을 것이다.”

“…y’know what, I’ll work on that pronunciation later.” Or he’d forget the second he was out of the ring. That was more likely.

Shockingly, Crypto was right. He didn’t die, because they somehow won. Crypto and Caustic must’ve turned that latent aggression they were feeling for each other against the last of the competitors. That was fine by Elliott. As long as they weren’t killing each other while he was on the team.

Of course, when it was over, he immediately dished to Ramya about what went down.

“That rubber-coated tosser said what?!”

“Yeah, it’s weird, right? If Crypto had something to say, he’d just say it. Trust me, I know he hates me.” Elliott didn’t think Crypto had ever talked shit in Korean—though it’d probably be pretty obvious from context if he did. Wouldn’t be the first time Elliott had been called a dumbass in a non-English language. “And if I’m understanding what Gibraltar said, Caustic threw him under the bus, so what’s the deal? If you start shit, you don’t get to be pissy if you get shit back. That’s like…the rules.” A brief moment of self-reflection said that was probably hypocritical of him to say, but at least Elliott had some awareness of how shit worked. Again. Four older brothers. He knew the score.

Ramya snorted dismissively. “You really think a guy like Caustic thinks the rules apply to him? Or that it’s just about whatever happened on Talon? Speaking of...” Caustic was lurking nearby, stalking down the hallway as if this were still the arena and he was looking for his next victim. “Hey, Witt, watch this. Doc!” Ramya waited until Caustic was looking at her, then did that thing Brits did that looked like a peace sign but was actually basically the middle finger. “ अपने आप के लिए, गधे हो अपनी राय रखें।.**”

Caustic froze, eyes narrowing as he ran over whatever it was Ramya said. Elliott was genuinely nervous he was going to do something about it, but Caustic kept on walking, scoffing noisily as he went. “गधे!***” Ramya called after him.

“Uh, are you sure that’s a guy who want to be antagonizing?” Elliott asked nervously.

“What’s he going to do about it? Try to hurt my feelings? Call me ignorant? Hah!” She went back to her project. “Joke’s on him, I speak three languages and know how to make a gun from scratch. What does he do? Make fart bombs?”

“Wait, three?!”

“…eh, two and a half. I haven’t spoken Punjabi in a while. I’ve probably forgotten some bits. Point being, he can’t say shite about me.” She grinned mischievously. “And he’s going to have to get used to not knowing what I’m saying about him.”

Oh, no. “I shouldn’t have told you about this,” Elliott groaned. “He’s going to think I’m an accessory. I don’t want any part in this.”

“Too late.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

He really didn’t. That was the worst part.

Oh, well, at least Crypto would probably find it funny. Elliott might not have been friendly with him or anything, but he had to admit: after Talon, the guy could probably use something to cheer him up.

.

.

What any not-diagetically-translated lines are supposed to mean even though they probably are wrong because Google Translate (hopefully the copy-paste of the Korean and Hindi are like...readable).

*“If you’re worried, you can learn Korean.”

**“Keep your opinion to yourself, asshole.”

***“Jackass!“

Also, technically Crypto said “Why can’t I find the banner” not “I can’t find a banner” but I don’t think he’d give an exact translation of him talking to himself anyways, just the gist of what he meant.