#do NOT try me on this particular subject i stg

[essektheylyss]

I am once again BEGGING folks in the critrole fandom to understand that terms for problematic queer tropes have actual meaning and context.

Queerbaiting cannot exist in the context of "the queer relationship I prefer didn't happen but another one did." Nor does it mean "a queer character doesn't get into a relationship with someone they're implied to be attracted to." It cannot exist because one character you wanted to be queer was not confirmed as such and did not have the chance to explore a relationship the fandom wanted, in spite of a plethora of other queer characters and relationships in the media.

Because queerbaiting means an intended, marketed implication that there would be a central queer relationship that was never actually going to be delivered on, in an effort to attract queer audiences without alienating straight/homophobic ones.

Bury Your Gays cannot exist in the context of "character I ship in a queer relationship died." It cannot exist in the context of "other characters of canonical queer status lived." It cannot exist if the story and setting otherwise strongly and repeatedly refute the idea that any experienced queer happiness must be punished. It cannot exist if the character you're talking about has not been confirmed queer.

Because Bury Your Gays is a term for introducing a queer character into an otherwise straight work (usually in a tokenistic way) and then killing them off without ceremony or purpose—often or, depending on the definition, exclusively just after they have started or consummated a relationship, as it is an implication that queer happiness must be punished as a cosmic rule of the setting.

These tropes virtually cannot be present in a work if they are otherwise refuted by the work itself due to the presence of other queer characters. They suggest a rule of the narrative that queerness is anathema to the narrative and world, and cannot be allowed to exist, which cannot apply if the world and narrative is otherwise very supportive of queerness. In fact, the context of these tropes when they were established implied that this was applicable to the only queer person or relationship in a work, because in the context of their inception, it was nearly unfathomable to have even a semi-mainstream media with numerous queer characters and queerness normalized and expected within the setting.

EXTREMELY specific parameters would have to be met to have either of these tropes in particular present in Exandria at this point, and even then, the question of whether or not it would still apply given the conceit of the setting's relationship to queerness and gender as well as the improvisational format of the medium is something that would take whole dissertations to discuss and come to anything approaching a definitive answer.

[sevensav--d-archived]

@knifelizard​ sent  🔥 🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

**Okay so to preface this, these are MY bad takes and MY pet peeves, and I am just ONE person so please don’t take anything I say to heart bc what the fuck do I know, I’m nobody.

🔥 Formatting makes RP so much harder for me.  Like, five years ago this shit wasn’t around, I stg.  At least not in the rpcs was in.   I have trouble reading small fonts, and FOLKS THEY ARE JUST GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER like If I have to copy and paste your text into a dang word doc and up the size, I’m probably not going to want to keep writing with you!  It’s too much work!!!  Icons too, those are getting so dang tiny and like, more power to you if your eyes can understand, but with small sizes on top of psds that more often than not degrade the image, I can barely tell what I’m seeing.  

The thing is, I understand that doing formatting is some of the fun for roleplayers, so I take it all with a grain of salt.  Not everyone has the same beef with their eyes as me.  BUT, there’s a big ol’ problem with a sense of elitism that comes with ~formatting~ in rpcs.  I have noticed it pretty much first hand, since my formatting pretty much ends at cutting and trimming my posts.  I shouldn’t have to force myself to take even MORE time on my posts in order to be noticed and taken seriously as a roleplayer.  I literally HAVE changed the way I do certain things just to fit in with more of the RP trends, and I ended up stopping doing a lot of them because they took too much time and they just suck the fun out of it for me.  Other folks, do it, go ahead, have fun.  But it really grinds my gears when I’m made to feel like I’m not as good at the whole RP thing because I don’t do extra formatting.  I should be judged on my writing and dangit, I think my writing is pretty good, apart from the spelling mistakes I make.

Even simple shit like, making new posts for asks- That’s a GREAT development, I love it but FUCK it makes me tired and sometimes I just don’t wanna do it but I KEEP doing it because literally everyone else does it.... AND THAT SUUUUUCKS like let me live please I already have a hard time writing please don’t pressure me into taking the time to make a complicated theme and making my posts more ~aesthetically pleasing~ when I’m just here to read!  I just wanna read!!!!!!!! :(((((((((((  

Anyway long story short, It only slightly bugs me when people format a ton, bc it’s inconvenient for me- but I can work with that bc I want other people to have fun.  It’s when MY fun is in jeopardy bc I don’t wanna put in the extra work, THAT’S when I get a bit!!! Miffed!!!  Phew.  Okay, moving on.

🔥 MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS until your mental health makes you do something that I don’t like then you’re just toxic and a bad person, OR it doesn;t matter bc you’re not popular.  Like.  Bruh.  BRUH.  I’m gonna expose myself a bit here and state that there have been times on my blogs where I am like.  Teetering on the edge of collapse, and I’m not only crying for help, I’m strapping a neon sign to my face saying “I NEED TO BE TALKED TO OR ELSE I WILL JUST NOT COME BACK” and literally???? Crickets.  

Like my feelings have been hurt so many times, by so many people in this rpc that I’m just floating on a sea of amicability waiting for people to cut me off from them bc I’m so desperate for attention or I’m so clingy but god forbid, if someone with a really popular blog pulls the same shit as me, it’s positivity city.  I could go on about how inbox positivity irks me, but I know that a lot of people really do enjoy getting it.  I just wish I didn’t always have to see it when I’m barely hanging on and begging for a little love but feeling like no one sees me or cares.  It’s like being really hungry and watching someone get fed by a bunch of other people.

I’M JEALOUS!  I AM A PERSON WHO GETS JEALOUS it’s a whole dang part of how my mental illness processes itself in my pea brain noggin!!!  Jealousy is an UGLY emotion and it makes you do SHITTY things.  I am VERY aware of this fact and I’m making efforts to call attention to my needs in a healthier way but dang dang dang is it hard to do that a lot of the time when you see other people getting away with literally the exact same behavior.  Like????????  Ugh.  UGH!  I’m tired. 

“Just leave the RPC bones” WHY DO I HAVE TO GO?  Why is it that the only way I can get anyone to even glance in my direction is to have my much more popular than me best friend call attention to my needs (love them very much btw) but seriously.  SERIOUSLY.  This RPC needs to reflect a bit on how they handle people with “the wrong” kind of mentally ill.  Not every adhd or depressed roleplayer is the same.  Stop.  Treating them.  Like.  They are.  And stop!  Ignoring!  The people who are hurting!  Jeez!  It’s more than just anxiety go brrr or depression go brrr for some people, this is like.  All we fucking have.  And losing it could be really bad for some people.

Anyway, I know this particular subject is really touchy and nuanced and whatever but I’ve been in enough RPCs to recognize when there’s a problem.

If you can’t take someone’s mental health, like if they are too much for you, TELL THEM there’s a pretty good chance they’re aware that they’re a lot to handle, and will either try to be better, or will accept your decision and move on.  Don’t maintain ‘friendships’ if you’re not actually going to maintain them, you’re just going to hurt someone when they think they can rely on you, but they really can’t.  You don’t owe that to anyone, but you shouldn’t dangle it in front of someone only to take it away when you don’t want to deal with the negative side effects of someone’s mental illnesses.  And LETS BE REAL IF YOU RP YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME SHIT so I think we ALL could learn to be more empathetic.  Talk to people, if you can.  If you can’t??????  I hope you’re doing okay.

UGH.

Okay.  Alright, I got that out.  Those were two big ones that have been eating at me for literally months.

If you don’t like what I’m saying, please do nooooot bother trying to make me feel shitty about how I feel.  I already feel shitty for feeling this way!  These opinions are unpopular, I do not expect anyone to be on my very specific, very mean page.

[nyandereneko]

Love to drive myself wild thinking about the circular nightmare of the Nova/Hei/Kiko triangle I made for myself that I don’t think about as much as I probably should, but when I do, it just makes me go crazy I stg like I want everyone to be happy and I need fluff in my life but something about the angst of this particular ship/dynamic just won’t let me go!!! (To be fair, I do enjoy feeding the fire, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make lol!!)

I’m sorry for putting you in this position, Hei, especially since it’s an extra sensitive subject for me, being faithful to your partner...I’ve just been thinking about cheating related stuff more frequently lately, for better or worse, and while I’m sure he respects and adheres to that ideal, (I’m actually quite positive he’d be incredibly aware of and sensitive to it) the fucking CORNER I’ve forced him into where he just, so desperately wants to be with Nova already, especially since he knows she likes him, but 1) he knows it’s not a good idea because he feels like it’s his responsibility to keep his distance for her benefit, even though she won’t leave him alone fhilsejfselfs she just keeps making everything DIFFICULT, and also he doesn’t…have the heart to keep pushing her away/telling her no…because at the end of the day he really doesn’t want to, so he’s stuck with this endlessly debilitating internal conflict and 2) as much as he would love to just throw caution to the wind and do whatever he wants, if he messes up in this other perceived relationship, then that’s what Nova’s going to come to expect of him/from him. 

Ignoring the fact that, like, it’s still different because he does genuinely want to be with her and not be stuck in this fake relationship where he’s just keeping up appearances because the poor dude didn’t realize just how badly this was all gonna come back to bite him in the ass in the long run…so like, it’s not really the same thing, him being with her vs anyone else, because if he was in a relationship with her he wouldn’t have a reason to feel like he wanted or needed anything more because that’s already WHAT he wanted…but there’s still the risk of Hei’s actions and decisions in any relationship, even the present “fake” one, automatically presenting the possibility that he could or would be the same way with her, simply because she knows he’s capable of it, period. 

AND I JUST…all the times he’s come this 👌 close to taking it too far, to overstepping his bounds by just a little too much, and it would be so easy and he knows in a way it would make her happy because she wants those feelings and that kind of treatment from him…but also he has to be able to present those sentiments to her/prove them to her in an acceptable/proper way or else she’s just going to think he could just as easily do the exact same thing behind her back with someone else…but at the same time they both just want to be together so badly, and they’re stuck in this self imposed limbo that’s just slowly draining them of their resolve until neither of them can conceivably bear the pressure anymore, but for the sake of their positions and their perceived understanding of each other, they simply refuse to get out of their own way over and over again because they can’t really think of a suitable, straightforward way to fix things without…coming clean about a lot of stuff that they’re not ready for, or that Nova at least isn’t ready to face for whatever reason, mostly just because she’s hopeless and will never feel like she’s good enough for him fhilsefjslefes   

I just love thinking of scenarios where it’s like, they did a fake couple thing, or she goes to him for comfort and he’s like “I could just push things that little bit further if I wanted to, it would be so easy, the opportunity is right here,” but he stops himself at the last second because 1) no it’s a bad idea for him to indulge those kinds of feelings in the first place and 2) oop he can’t give her mixed signals and have her thinking that he’s that easily swayed and is just as predictable in falling victim to these types of conflicts as she expects or fears many people to be, or at least anyone she’d end up with…even if she doesn’t necessarily think that way about him, and she absolutely feels dreadful any time she makes things difficult, because she also doesn’t want to hurt her friend or him, and she knows at the end of the day she’s the problem in this situation, anyway, because she’s the only one that’s out of the loop and if she really cared about either of them she’d just let them be happy and stop feeling so jealous about it. If only he’d stop being so nice to her :^))))))) and if only she wasn’t playing his sidekick and aware of all these things that Kiko can literally never know about, so Nova will always know him in a way most people won’t (and he’ll know the same about Nova, since they’re in similar enough positions), and she’s quite possessive about that particular connection…it makes her feel special, even though she knows she shouldn’t feel that way or want to!!

Nightmare, it’s just a fucking nightmare from start to finish…I’m obsessed fheiljflesfs I’m so fucking obsessed with this dude I put him through hell but at the end of the day I just want to be everything he wants, somehow, is that really too much to ask?? (The answer is YES, SHUT UPPPPFEPFSFS I’M SO DUMMMMBBBBBBBB)