#does anyone have like a.. List a description somethin of what she looks like in the book

[lalaboy]

ooh im thinkin about my helene design... i think im onto somethin

[second-chance-stray]

Rp Log: Cravs introduces “Windy” to Lin.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs has sent a letter to “Windy,” asking him to meet at the Heartwood estate in order to meet a friend of hers. Of course, lacking an address, Cravs had simply handed a moogle the letter with “Windy” written on it, and had hoped that it’d somehow find its way. She waits outside, searching for that telltale tuff of blond hair.

(Cravendy Hound) And moments prior, she had told Lin that she’d be bringing over a friend of hers tonight. A mailman who delivers on foot, who can outrun a chocobo, who’s really good at fighting bugs. What Lin would think of that description...well, it was up to her.

(Bertram Windshadow) It is by the miracle that is the Moogle Mail System that a letter found its way into Bertram's hands. How convenient to couriers that 'knew what she meant'. Though when Bertram saw the address in the letter he was certainly a bit surprised. It certainly wasn't a place unfamiliar to him. At least ... he thought that was the correct address? Any doubt was quickly dispelled as he approached the ground proper, looking travel worn as ever.

(Bertram Windshadow) He hadn't set recovered from his mild confusion when he bumped into Cravendy. "... Oh! Uh ... hey there. It's good to see ya again." He pauses. "Is ... this where you work?"

(Bertram Windshadow) (( We're re-enacting the Tyler1 meme right now. )) (Cravendy Hound) PFffFFahaha ))

(Aislinn North) Cravendy had breezed through the front library like a gust of wind moments before, explaining to Lin there was a friend she wanted her to meet and potentially sign a contract with Heartwood. Aislinn had only had time to look up from her notes and blink owlishly, a disoriented 'Alright' coming from her before Cravendy had disappeared out the front door. Aislinn shook her head. While Cravendy had all the power to had her friend a contract herself, ...

(Aislinn North) Aislinn understood that the Seawolf was still uncomfortable with her position in Heartwood. She frowned down at the report from Heartwood's informants and tried to reach a good stopping point before the company arrived.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs waves at Bertram as he approaches. “Oy there! That’s right. Welcome to ‘eartwood.” She proudly points to the company’s gates. “I said I worked as a mercenary, didn’t I? Anyway, let me show ye around. This ‘ere is the...” She steps into the garden and begins to list off her opinions about the décor.

(Cravendy Hound) Stuff along the lines of “This tree is a nice tree. This tree is not a nice tree.”

(Aislinn North) ((I kinda want to know what quantifies a 'not nice tree' in Cravs' mind xD)) (Cravendy Hound) LOL probably if she holds a personal grudge against it...like a branch falling on her xD )) (Aislinn North) ((That's exactly what I was thinking! It all comes down to a grudge she must hold against it!))

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram rather understands that such distinctions are important when one lives in the Shroud. You wouldn't want to wake up and have your breakfast in the shade of a *grumpy* tree. Of course, as Cravendy rather enthusiastically leads him through the gardens he isn't exactly able to find the opportunity to mention that he's been here before ... instead he just listens polite and occasionally nods ... smiling!

(Cravendy Hound) After giving Bertram a thorough tour of the garden, she finally shows him to the door. “Alright, ‘nough about the good and evil of plants and rocks. My friend should be waitin’ inside for us.” She pauses, and gives a wide grin to her guest. “I think ye’ll like ‘er. She’s...serious, but dependable.”

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram couldn't truly keep himself from starting to connect dots the longer he thought about it. Of course Bertram couldn't claim to have met all the members of Heartwood, so maybe he was mistaken, but ... things seemed to be pointing in a certain direction. "Anything that can keep up with you must be, I think." He let out a quiet chuckle, bobbing his head to the side.

(Cravendy Hound) “Heh, it’s the other way ‘round. Ask ‘er about the time we fought a giant dodo.” Cravs smirks, and then barges in.

(Aislinn North) So the mage she sought had quit Ul'dah and returned to Ishgard after the Calamity. She hung her head and let go a heavy sigh. Bloody Coerthas. Again. Just then, she heard Cravendy and her friend approaching and set the report face down on the table. Certain to clear any lingering annoyance from her face in regards to the report, she turned with a polite smile at the ready and makes her way over to them, smoothing down her skirt. ...

(Aislinn North) "Welcome to Heart-- *Bertram*" she blinked in surprise, quickly shifting her gaze between him and Cravendy. "-This- is your friend?" laughter bubbling up. "Cravendy, this is Bertram." she paused. Perhaps Cravendy didn't recall that part. Wyda would have. She shook her head. "He's an old childhood friend." she turned her attention to Bertram with a warm smile. "Alright, there?"

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram couldn't really keep a straight face as Aislinn walked up, his lips twisting into something decidedly goofy looking. The sight of Aislinn immediately put to bed any doubts regarding who Cravendy's friend was. His laughter was quick to join Aislinn's as his smile grew, dipping his head toward Aislinn in confirmation, "Got my head on my shoulders." He tilts his head to the side, still smiling, "What about you, Linn? Seems we've got a mutual friend."

(Bertram Windshadow) He glances over to Cravendy with an amused expression.

(Cravendy Hound) Looks between the two of them repeatedly, confusion growing with every iteration. “What? Ye know each other already? Wait, what?”

(Cravendy Hound) “Bugger, I can’t go round assumin’ every golden ‘aired man is Bertram. An ye didn’t tell me ‘e was wanderin’ round the Shroud!” Cravs grumbles at Lin. She then turns her ire to the man himself. “And get that smile off yer face. I thought yer name was Windy!”

(Aislinn North) "It does seem that way, doesn't it?" she nodded to Bertram, a thread of good humor still in her voice. "Windy?" laughter threatened to overtake her again but she could see Cravendy was flustered more than anything and did her best to hold it in. "Ahh...wait. So he's the one that saved you when the Shroud attacked?"

(Bertram Windshadow) He blinks several times as his mind processes that. Maybe he should have corrected her when she kept calling him Windy? It had seemed ... y'know ... 'close enough' for him. Then he's chuckling quietly at the absolutely delightful ridiculousness of the situation. "I mean ... it is. Sort of. Windshadow; it's an epithet of sorts."

(Aislinn North) "Like Ren and Armsbreaker." she added. "They're Highlander battle names." she glanced back to Bertram. "Cravendy said you were looking for work? You could have told me that."

(Cravendy Hound) “Ye should’ve! Corrected me!” Cravs grabs Bertram by the shoulder and shakes him like a maraca. “ARgh! Don’t tell me ye’ve been ‘ere afore too! Why didn’t ye stop me in the middle! Of! The garden tour!”

(Bertram Windshadow) (( Oh my *gosh*. )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( Betram's going to be a few marbles short after a rattling like that! ))

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram starts to bob his head in Aislinn's direction in solidarity to her clarification before Aislinn turns the focus onto the matter of his looking for work. Of course, before he manages to say anything, Cravendy is upon him and shaking out any cobwebs that might be building up in his skull. "I'm sorry!" He calls out, though there's a certain joviality to it, "I have, I'm sorry. You got started before I could say anything and then, I don't know! it seemed like you were having a good time."

(Aislinn North) Blinked and hurriedly stepped between them in an effort to keep Bertram's senses from being rattled into oblivion. "Cravendy!" she wasn't loud by nature, but her voice held a urgent edge. "It was a simple misunderstanding, is all."

(Cravendy Hound) Lin’s intervention thankfully brings an end to the shake-egeddon. Cravs huffs, half overwhelmed with embarrassment and half winded from the effort of nearly shaking Bertram’s head loose. “Aargh, bloody bastard...And ‘ere I was, thinkin’ I was gonna bring two friends together, and it turns out they know each other better than they know me!”

(Cravendy Hound) “Anyone else wanna say somethin’ I don’t know afore I make a fool out of myself?” She groans, red faced.

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram stumbles his way back just a touch as he is released, a hand rising to his head to gives himself a steadying before looking back up to Cravendy. He sobers just a touch and offers the woman a light smile. "You did bring two friends together though. And not to mention given me all the confirmation that I'd ever need to know that you're a good sort yourself."

(Aislinn North) Let go a soft breath of relief as Cravendy mercifully releases Bertram. She glanced over at him to be sure he was alright before turning back to Cravendy with a wave of her hand. "That's only because we've had the benefit of time, nothing more. And aye, it's been awhile since we've seen each other, so you did what you set out to do." she eyed him over her shoulder with a teasing glint in her eye. "He has a tendency to disappear for Twelve knows how long. So we were due for a bit of catching up."

(Aislinn North) "Now I know he's been off racing chocobos and saving people from the Shroud, though." she looked back at him again with a deadpan look as if to say 'Racing chocobos. Really?'

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs sighs, slowly but surely recovering from the near lethal dose of embarrassment she had received seconds earlier. She grumpily rubs the space between her brows, as if kneading her head could will it to better process what was going on. “Windy, don’t tell me yer not even a mailman...”

(Aislinn North) Cleared her throat at that. "Maybe we should all go have a drink."

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram lifts a hand up, rubbing the back of his neck a bit bashfully at the teasing before collecting himself enough to give a slightly bemused shrug. It ... seemed like a good idea at the time? He didn't have a good explanation. He looks back to Cravendy as she poses the question. He looks like he's about to answer but hears Aislinn clear her throat and follows her lead. "That's sounds nice, yeah."

(Cravendy Hound) “Bah. Best idea I ‘eard all night.” Cravs goes up the stairs to where the company bar is located.

(Aislinn North) Gave another sigh and glanced at Bertram. "Well, it's good to see you again."

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram looks to Aislinn with an expression that reads as 'is she going to be alright?' before offering a light smile and following up the stairs. "It's good to see you too, Linn."

(Aislinn North) Leaned down under the bar and pulled out a pint glass before looking at Cravendy and Bertram. "Right then. What're you two having?" she asked as she poured cider from the tap.

(Bertram Windshadow) The Windshadow Riker's his way over the stool and settles himself down upon it before glancing around the bartop. "Ah ... " he skewed his lips to the side slightly before retreating to an easy answer, " ... whatever you're having there. That looks good!"

(Cravendy Hound) “I think ye should regale me with embarrassing stories from Windy’s youth. Only fair for what ‘e put me through,” Cravs says to Lin while shooting Bertram a smirk. “...As for drinks, do we ‘ave any mead left?”

(Aislinn North) ((Lol! Riker's his way. Such an apt and efficient description)) (Bertram Windshadow) (( *laughs and grins* It saves time!! ))

(Aislinn North) Nodded and pulled up another pint. Her hand settled on a wine glass but hesitated and thought of the face Cravendy would make if mead showed up in something like that. She went for a short whiskey tumbler instead. As she pours the drinks she gives Bertram a wry sidelong glance. "Embarrassing stories. I'm sure I can recall one or two. If I think hard enough." She sets the bottle of mead on the counter and then pushes all three glasses to the front of the bar before disappearing to make...

(Aislinn North) her way around front. "But tell me why you thought he was a mailman in the first place?"

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram blinks a couple times, holding up his right hand with index finger extended, before speaking. "In my defense, I didn't even know you worked here until you sent the letter." He glances down slightly, a small smile touching his lips, "But I figure it's only fair in recompense for my not correcting you about my name." He pauses again and glances to Aislinn as she asks her own question ... and then back to Cravendy. He takes a sip of cider.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs gladly takes the drink in hand and leans against the railing. She traces the brim of glass in thought. Why -did- she think he was a mailman? She was so confident about it earlier, but now...Cravs looks at Bertram with a great deal of suspicion. What IF.

(Cravendy Hound) “Didn’t ye tell me that was yer occupation over drinks? And I could’ve sworn I brought it up a second time when ye were racin’ against my chocobo. Something about ‘ow ye run really fast to deliver mail.” There's a hint of doubt in her voice, mind racing as she questions everything she knows about the man.

(Aislinn North) Glanced between the two, entertained as she took a swallow of the crisp cider. She raised a brow in his direction. Lying wasn't something he was any good at so she knew that couldn't be it.

(Bertram Windshadow) The man furrows his brow slightly as focus turns upon him and he beings to file through his memory in search for the day that he met Cravendy, "... uh ... I think you said that I run really fast? And that I had escape tools. And suggested I was a some kind of courier?" He pauses for a moment, "But ... I think we might have miscommunicated. I ... don't really have a *job* so to speak. Even if I'm running around a lot." He clears his throat and glances away. "Sorry about that."

(Bertram Windshadow) It's his turn to look flushed now.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs is ilms away from grabbing hold of Bertram’s shoulder and shaking more sense into him, AGAIN. But she doesn’t want to put down her drink, so instead she just facepalms with her one free hand in utter disappointment. “WINDY NO...”

(Cravendy Hound) “Is ‘e always like this? Vague and friendly?!” Cravs gives Lin a pleading look. "Well, at least the jobless part I got right."

(Aislinn North) Turned her attention to Cravendy, a hint of a smile tugging at one corner of her lips. "Sounds like an easy mix-up." she shrugged. She glanced back to Bertram and considered Cravendy's description of him. "Friendly, aye. Vague...well, I think we're both just the quiet sort to let assumptions hang in the air." she shook her head. "Though, honestly Bertram. I wouldn't put it past Cravendy here to keep hounding you until she's found you suitable employ. She's the determined sort."

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram concealed himself -- and his blush -- within the opening of his cider. He was probably taking a longer drink than he actually wanted so that he could keep himself hidden away for a moment. It would seem he and Cravendy had swapped hotseats. He glances over to Aislinn as she offers her ... warning? A slight smile pulls at his lips before he bobs his head to the side, "I'm starting to get that impression ..."

(Bertram Windshadow) He looks back at Cravendy. "All the same. I'm sorry. I can be ... a bit cagey around new people. I'm working on it."

(Aislinn North) ((*hugs the cinnamon roll*))

(Cravendy Hound) “Only if ye want it. But with ‘ow fast ye run, ye would make a fine mailman’, and there are plenty of parcels that I need sent, no questions asked.” A smug grin crosses over her face as she senses the heat switch from her to Bertram.

(Bertram Windshadow) (( Cravendy engaged her trap card! ))

(Cravendy Hound) She leans in close to Bertram and whispers something in his ear. “Some of these could be, ah, unverbal messages. If ye catch my drift.”

(Aislinn North) Pauses, her drink halfway to her lips. "Wait...what do you mean parcels, no questions asked." she narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked over at Cravendy. Her suspicion only grows as Cravendy whispers something to him. "Cravendy, he's not going to be your runner." she stated, emphatic.

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram blinks several times at the whisper. No; he did not catch the drift. At least he didn't think he did. He passes Cravendy a somewhat bewildered look before his gaze flickers back toward Aislinn and she makes her point *very* clear. Oh. Now he was caught up in the drift alright. He remained looking a bit shell-shocked for a moment letting out a quiet laugh, his head shaking in gently bewilderment.

(Bertram Windshadow) "I ... don't know about being a *runner* ... but ... maybe some real work wouldn't be bad for me. I know Aislinn's been suggesting that I apply myself a bit more healthily for a while now and ... well ..." He glances back to Cravendy, "With a force like Cravendy out there trying to help too ... I probably should take a hint."

(Cravendy Hound) “Aw, ye ‘eard the man. He’s good at runnin’, and there’s a few people I’d like to see knocked down a peg or two.” Cravs protests, a toothy grin revealing her canines. “Pff, I wouldn’t start ye with such jobs anyway. Just some stuff to deliver to a village we’ve been helpin’ rebuild, and to ‘elp me look into some business in the east.”

(Aislinn North) Put off glaring at Cravendy to look back to Bertram with a sharp exhale. "Me saying it wasn't enough? Should have gotten Cravendy involved a lot sooner, apparently." she noted with a helpless shake of her head.

(Cravendy Hound) “Oy, e’s a grown man and can make ‘is own decisions. And if that’s runnin’ mad in the wilds, aimless and jobless and all other kinds of ‘less’, then power to ‘im.” Cravs is making assumptions. Again. She takes a sip with a smug smile.

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram offers Aislinn an apologetic expression and soft smile as he bows his head toward the woman. "We'll add it to the long list of things that you were right about ..." He murmured quietly, taking a sip of his cider again. A regular one this time. "Cravendy was just ... the tipping point." He offers in gentle tease.

(Bertram Windshadow) "But ... " He looks back to Cravendy, "If I can help with rebuilding a village I can certainly say I'd be happy to do so." There he goes. Not even asking for job details or compensation.

(Aislinn North) Makes a noise of displeasure in the back of her throat. Maybe she was sick and tired of being right after the fact. She quietly takes another swallow of cider. Or two. She'd let Cravendy give him the details of Dirtpatch.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs snorts. “It’s called volunteerin’ if ye don’t get paid!”

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram winces as he witnesses the level of embarrassment that whatever childhood story Aislinn has in store for Cravendy skyrockets in realtime in the wake of his response. He blinks and looks back to Cravendy, "Oh, ah ... heh ... right. What's the usual price for something like that?"

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram needs an agent.

(Cravendy Hound) “And volunteerin’ won’t pay the bills. Anyway, it’s just a couple of boxes to deliver to a village called Dirtpatch. A small seatown off the coast of Vylbrand. Tools and medicine, stuff like that.” She pauses. “...I’ve ‘eard recent rumors of pirates attacks though. Those don’t follow the accord. So keep an eye out for them.”

(Cravendy Hound) (me w/ no idea of what the proper payment for this would be* ))

(Aislinn North) "And you're afraid you wouldn't make a good officer." she noted to Cravendy as she propped an elbow on the bar and rested her head against her fingertips. 'Get Paid' was rule number 1 of the mercenary company.

(Aislinn North) "Seems like you got it all sorted out to me."

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs blushes. “I-I’m pretty sure ye keep me around to make the others look better. Why ye all ‘aven’t cut me loose is a mystery I grapple with everyday.”

(Aislinn North) Tipped her head in Cravendy's direction, staring at her over the rim of her glasses with a 'Come on, now.' look. It didn't need to be said.

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram glances between the two women and their exchange with a slightly slanted smile. There was something about it the evoked a feeling of happiness before he let out a quiet laugh and took a drink from his cider once again. "She's got a point, Cravs. You *do* seem like you've got this all sorted."

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs presses her lips together in an attempt to hold back a shy smile. “Seven ‘ells...why we talkin’ bout this anyway? So, Bert, ye want the job or not? Can pay ye this much.” Some reasonable number is presented to the man.

(Aislinn North) ((hehe)) (Cravendy Hound) what even is gil. it's like 3 for an egg, 100 million for a house xD )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( So ... you're telling me if we get 300 million eggs ... )) (Aislinn North) ((Profit)) (Cravendy Hound) xD ))

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram quietly chuckles and passes Cravendy a thought expression before glancing over the presented payout. He -- honestly -- doesn't seem like he has a healthy bearing on *normal* expenses but he nods his head all the same. "Count me in, Cravs. And, in good faith, I submit to whatever embarrassing story Linn has in store for you." He pauses and looks back to Aislinn with a subtle smile.

(Aislinn North) had been minding her own business, drinking her cider when Bertram voiced his offer. She shot him a look of surprise. Honestly, she thought she had well and truly helped him dodge that bullet by turning the conversation but here he was, putting himself back in the hotseat. "Why would you..." she stopped and just ruefully shook her head. She glanced over at Cravendy.

(Cravendy Hound) oh Bertram....I feel like I could pay him in eggs and he'd be like. Looks good? Looks good! )) (Aislinn North) ((He would have loved the Hatchingtide shenanigans in that case xD)) (Bertram Windshadow) (( Oh dear ... *laughs* Hatchingtide shenanigans you say? )) (Aislinn North) ((Cravendy paid us in eggs)) (Cravendy Hound) two words. egg mafia )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( Oh. My. *Gosh*. )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( I am slayed. ))

(Cravendy Hound) “Oh, I -so- look forward to it.” Cravs puts her empty glass onto the bar table and then puts her hands on her hips. Leaning over, she gives Lin and Bertram a devious smile. “And of course, anythin’ ye ‘ave on Lin would be appreciated. No secrets between friends, aye?”

(Aislinn North) turned several shades of red in the span of mere moments. She stared hard at Bertram. This is the mess he got them into. After she had neatly changed the subject. No good deed goes unpunished. She gave a heavy sigh. "I swear to the Twelve, Bertram..." she muttered as she touched her fingers to her brow.

(Bertram Windshadow) Bertram lifts his brow in surprise as Cravendy goes fishing and Aislinn invokes the Twelve. "Oh ... ah ... " Oops. He's definitely made a mess of it now. If you give an inch they'll take a mile, as they say. He clears his throat. "Right, ah ... we'll start with just the one, yeah?" He was just trying to be nice!!

(Cravendy Hound) lmao windy....when niceness leads to the opposite effect ))

(Aislinn North) "Alright..." she takes a swallow of cider and then begins in on the misadventures of Bertram, the would-be rescuer of a cat that belonged to a girl he was sweet on. It inevitably ends with Bertram crashing through the awning of a market stall, into a stack of pristine melons with nothing to show for it but a mess of scratches along his face and arms, an angry crush and a cat that simply saunters further down the ledgetop, not in need of rescuing at all.

(Aislinn North) What followed was a pell-mell escape from one burly, enraged melon merchant.

(Aislinn North) "Ren and I could barely catch our breath for laughing. Once we were in the clear. Of course."

(Aislinn North) The three of them continued to drink and trade stories long into the evening. Between them, there was certainly some catching up to do.

(Bertram Windshadow) (( *dies* )) (Cravendy Hound) AWw NICE )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( A long-standing aversion to melons may have been planted that day. )) (Cravendy Hound) noo not melons )) (Aislinn North) ((And to this day, Bertram shudders at the sight of a Gyr Abania melon)) (Cravendy Hound) hehehehe )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( Indeed. Forever shall he associate the sweet, crispness of a melon with the shearing of a cat's claws! ))

[bullloading243]

Gone From My Sight The Dying Experience

Gone From My Sight has ratings and 25 reviews. Zweegas said: When you’re facing something like this and you feel so directionless, you need somethin. Barbara Karnes, award-winning end of life educator and award-winning nurse, My neighbor gave me the 3 books, A time to live, Gone from my sight, The. Barbara Karnes, a hospice nurse, published what amounted to a fancy pamphlet in entitled “Gone From My Sight.” Millions and millions of.

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There is a symbolic language of the dying. She is uncomplaining and not a problem. Gone From My Sight contained nothing but the facts from a Registered Nurse who had probably witnessed many deaths. But it gave the facts in a very respectful manner so that you could myy yourself for what is soon to come.

Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Join us on Facebook! Lists with This Book. Neither does it, because it uses metaphoric language, ignore the spirituality of dying and death, of fearing and preparing for the last moments with a loved one. We asked gohe attending nurse how long we might expect to be there.

Product Information. Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience, since 1986 has been for the caregiver, professional and lay, the primary source booklet on the signs of approaching death from disease. It was entitled, 'Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience.' The last page had a poem by Henry Van Dyke. It epitimized what dying is. I used this poem as my inspiration. I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. .Barbara Karnes, Gone from My Sight: The Dying Experience, 1986,Barbara Karnes Books, Inc, Vancouver, WA.National Institute of Aging, End Of Life: Helping with Comfort and Care, July 2016, Bethesda MD, Pub No. 16-6036.End of Life Nursing Education Consortium (ELNEC), COH & AACN, March 2015 Bibliography. It is your very own era to operate reviewing habit. Accompanied by guides you could enjoy now is gone from my sight the dying experience the dying experience below. Gone From My Alan Jackson is known as a pretty stoic guy, and yet the country traditionalist found himself almost - note almost - welling up when he listened back to a rough. Download Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience (The Dying Experience) PDF Online. Browse more videos. Browse more videos.

On Good Grief we explore the losses that define our lives. I felt like they didn’t know what I was going through. Our minister came and visited with barbbara of us.

The most amazing part of this short book was the ending poem by Henry Van Dyke. Fone will get dehydrated, and that would be a terrible death of suffering. This restlessness can be lack of oxygen.

It would be intolerable for an A-type personality to be in bed for 3 months. We do not die alone.

The Little Blue Book – Hospice Matters

This book deserves 5 stars as it prepares the ones left to live without their loved ones. When a person sleeps more than they are awake, their reality changes. May 01, rdmickey rated it really liked it. I read many times over the five days she was there. The physical descriptions of dying probably do apply to a lot of others. Thanks for telling us about the problem. The hospice nurse urged her to read it the night before my Father died.

Beware of anyone that would put a number on how long we have to live. Grief can teach you where your strengths are, and ignite your courage. The key change that says that a person is dying because he looks different is when the person is sleeping with his eyes partially open and mouth open.

Open Preview See a Problem? Their comments really upset and alienated me from both of them though. A woman died as soon as the unfinished business was addressed. Nearly all of us, and rightly so, want to delay death as long as we can.

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Gone From My Sight Wednesday, April 6,

In the eight years that followed, Cheryl engaged daily in the work of preparing for her death. Shows some signs of wear, and may have some markings on the inside. Kristin rated it it was amazing Jan 15, Anmarie Maier rated it liked it Sep 14, There is real value here for someone confronted with an unfamiliar experience of a loved in hospice. This booklet made a utterly wrenching fromm for zight whole family less painful and devastating.

They are picking at their clothes. Many things I could relate to and we lived through.

Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience (The Dying Experience)

Nearly all of us avoid talking about death. Understanding trumps ignorance every time. Rhonda Campbell rated it it was amazing Jan 09, We all assembled with him in his room. Books by Barbara Karnes.

Elayne Crozier rated it it was amazing Aug 25, When my stepmother died, I began looking for “the little blue karnez because I couldn’t remember its name. Though most hospice professionals are aware of this book, it was never written for the hospice medical insider.

It starts far away, and then it includes family members. There are lots of similarities between birth and death.

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[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Can’t Go on Without You (Favored Ones, Part 7.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Part Summary: You decided to end the drama no-one knew about with trying to seduce the old man... Which turned out to be one of the wildest rides in your entirety.

A/N: I enjoyed and was super anxious about how to approach all of this... So, please enjoy and be prepared for more drama from Ellie the Diva and Joel the Showman. 

Warnings: Smutty smut smut. Some angst, angsty smut, Joel being an old man, and then some smutty lemonade.

Word count: 5.2 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme​ @peakymarvels​ @davnwillcome​ @pickleriiick​ @jodiereedus22​ @gladiosamicitias​ @tamkashi​ @eternallyvenus​ @avengerssstuff​ @fangirl-inthe-us​

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Early fall of 2037:

Joel watched you sitting down at the kitchen table. You were slowly taking the jacket off, sighing as you sat on the chair. It took him a few minutes noticing you've been drinking again. Just as the first time you came to see him about the lessons. There was another unclear expression in your face as you thought of the words, to begin with - your lips were mumbling something, yet Joel couldn't catch a word.

"Want a coffee or tea for starters? Will help you with the alcohol in your veins." - The man scoffed when he leaned his palms into the table, completely ruining the flow of your thoughts. Nervously, you spared him a look before nodding at his offer to make you something warm to drink.

"I wouldn't have the fucking courage to look you in the face, that's how the things are now." - You answered with an ice-cold tone of voice, looking at his back while he moved in the kitchen with grace. Well, this conversation was about to go downhill pretty fast, Joel could already tell.

"Not my fault, ain't it?" - He answered, putting the mug in front of you. While you were looking at him like you wanted to murder him with your gaze, he was keeping a positive smile on his lips. Which was making you angrier than when you came in. You weren't angry with him, of course - you were angry at yourself for falling for such a small sign of affection on the spot. You should've just walked off as soon as he told you the lessons are over. That was what you were supposed to do.

Yet at that moment, you were projecting the feeling at the man since he was the object of your lust at the time. No way in hell it was his fault that you did such a stupid thing as falling for him, but it was easier to be angry at someone else than at yourself.  

"Stop acting so nice, Joel. I'm here to tell you that I feel sorry for what I've done... But Ellie noticed there's something off about us in the last few weeks." - You explained shortly, playing with your mug innocently. For a minute, Joel could almost believe that you're feeling sorry for the whole situation. But the small sparks in your eyes were saying different things than your lips. He couldn't deny that the sparks in him hadn't woken up as well when you were this close again. But in a way, you were right - this had to be ended just as it started.

"If you mean it, kiddo, look me in the eyes and tell me you're sorry. I can tell you're doin' it because you think you should do it. You're thinkin' somethin' different, don't you?" - The man sighed, leaning into the chair behind him. At that moment, you risen your eyes to look at him for real this time.

"I'm sorry, but I don't regret a thing. I would regret it if I wouldn't kiss you that day." - The answer was somehow ticking something inside the man, making him jolt on the chair as he watched you looking at him while sipping your tea. Joel licked his lips, watching you smiling at him.

"Stop it. Stop it now. You think you know somethin' you don't." - Joel tried to calm to situation down, just to hear a frustrated scoff from your side of the table. - "Believe it or not, if you'd go down this path, you can easily end up the way I did. I was young and dumb as well. Your mind ain't thinkin' clear."  

"Where will I end up? What does this even mean?" - At that moment, you were already on your feet and marched around the room angrily. The frustration was growing into anger fast. Suddenly, you stopped, licked your lips, and pointed your hand at the man. - "What should I do in your opinion, Mr. Perfect? You maybe can act like you can't see what's happening here, but I can't do that."

"There ain't nothin' happenin' here, kiddo." - Joel got up as well. He was showing you that he ain't under your thumb. Umbelivieing laughter filled the uncomfortable void in Joel's dining room as you stared at the man, shaking your head.

"You saw the looks, I know you knew that since that fucking bonfire, I was reading more into your touches than I should. Jesus, Joel, open up your eyes. I'm all over you. I don't know what's better - to have Eve inside my head all the time or to think about the things I would love to do to you once I could." - And it was happening. You were raising your voice just as Joel walked right up to you, ready to argue with you at the spot.

"This ain't the way we goin' kiddo, so reverse out of this parkin' lot and move on. Do you at least realize what you're talkin' about?" - He muttered out, furrowing directly down on you. - "Ellie is your damned best friend. Get yourself together, 'kay? I ain't walkin' that road because it wouldn't end well for neither of us." - With that, you stopped to take a look at him, being silent for quite a long time. Did he just admit this wasn't a one-sided thing? Or did you misread the whole situation again? Slowly, you straightened up and watched the man massaging his face.

"She doesn't have to know. What would I tell her anyway? Hey, I'm fucking with Joel, what do you think about that, huh? Are you even listening to what you're saying? No-one has to know. You're such a fucking know-it-all, aren't you? Guess what. You know shit about what I feel, who I like, and what I'm into. But this... The chemistry we have... Is undeniable. You feel it too and that's a thing I'm sure of." - With the last sentence, you walked closer to him, not touching him with any part of your body, yet being close enough for Joel to realize the entirety of your body.

"There ain't no chemistry here. You have around twenty boys to choose from. Take 'em on a walk in the woods and you'll feel the same thing, I guarantee you that." - Although the nasty words leaving Joel's mouth, he didn't believe a single syllable. He was too old for this shit, Jesus Christ. What could you even see on an old-timer like he was? it was probable that once you reach the thing you wanted at the moment, you'd get bored with the guy easily. Which would hurt him a lot. And Joel wasn't ready to go down that path at all. Yet the more heated the situation was getting, the more he just wanted to shut you up, finally, taking you right on the table to show you what you were asking for so desperately.

"I haven't felt anything like this ever before for any person I've met. Just one look at you and... My head is empty. My mouth waters and I want to take the clothes off of you, Miller." - You grunted into his damn face, sighing heavily once it left your mouth. There he had it. Your confession about wanting to sleep with him. - "And for your information, I never got off just with the thoughts about someone. Until the last few weeks." - You mentioned as the small detail, having the old man closing his eyes with a desperate sigh.

"You don't know what kind of game you're playin' here, kiddo. You should go home." - Joel warned you silently, taking a deep breath. With that, you smiled daringly.

"Come on then, show me. What am doing to you?" - If it was possible, you walked even closer to him, your hand now trailing his left side carefully. - "I have to do at least something to you. Come on."

What were you doing to him? How could he resist? And what on Earth was he supposed to do? He could probably ignore everything except the imagination of you getting off while thinking of him. This whole situation was fucked up. You were a young girl who didn't have an idea about what she was starting, you were even the best friend of his daughter to make the things even better. You had no idea about how dangerous the territory she was currently at was. When he looked down at you again, you were standing there without a breath and bit your lower lip as you waited for any reaction from him.

It was an unexpected hasty kiss pushing you into the direction of the table. A kiss which made you shut your eyes as you tried to get a hold on his shoulders while being lost in the feeling of lust growing inside of you. Why did your body felt so hot and sore all of a sudden, you hadn't got any idea. The edge of the table hit your ass uncomfortably, but it was still just a slight discomfort in comparison to the way Joel was taking off your t-shirt.

When the damn article of clothing was thrown on the ground, you took one quick look to his face, seeing nothing but his dark eyes. You never realized how dangerous could his look appears at moments, but before you could think about something else, his mouth was on your next, his beard scratching your skin as he kissed a small trail to your shoulder. Without waiting for something else to happen, you circled your palms around his goddamned belt, opening it with concentration.

A horny gasp escaped you when he bit your shoulder gently, shushing your shaking hands away to do the job himself. He was surely going crazy when you caught his upper arms to hold something at least while kissing him again. Even the smallest touches, gentle strokes of your fingers were making him rushing everything up... He hadn't felt anything like that for a long time. Ever since Tess died, Joel hadn't another woman touching his body.

It was strange to re-explore how gentle and nice-smelling a woman's body can be, it was exciting to feel the hasty kisses and to hear sighs once again. Joel was falling into the abyss of a woman's touch again and he wasn't able to stop. Thoughts remaining him about how terrible this all was were circling through his mind as the jeans rolled to his ankles, he was repeating himself that it is fucked up to sleep with a girl who was Ellie's best friend was, but at that moment, he finally pushed your pants down as well. An erotic moan filled the dining room as he pushed his hands between your legs.

The first thing he could feel was that you didn't lie with being aroused by him. You were practically dripping, and when his fingers slipped inside teasingly, you bent your head, pushing your nails into his upper arms even more harshly than before.

"Eyes up here, come on." - Joel whispered since he lost his voice about three minutes ago. Swiftly, you climber to sit on the table, spreading your legs wider. You, like the good you were, were doing exactly what he told you and looked him in the face. It was spectacular to watch the variety of emotions crossing your face as you let the man play with you. Circular motions of his palm felt different every time, but you started to pant heavily when he finally hit the small spot above your entrance. Just when you were about to climax and lemme say that Joel's palm hurt like living fuck, he pushed your pants lower and firmly leaned your knees into his chest.

"Fucking God!" - You cried after the man slipped inside you without any effort. The table moved at least a foot back under that force, having you circle your palms on the edges so you'd hold onto something at least.

"Eyes up here, come on, I know you're a good girl. Focus on me." - The man demanded. Through all of the heat was quite hard to focus on Joel. All you could focus on was the way he was moving inside of you sloppily. Your grip on the table tightened when your gaze met the hungry look coming from the man.

Jesus, you two were acting like animals. It was the rage inside of Joel - a part of him remembered Tess. They weren't even romantically involved with each other, but she was his girl for the long nights. With you being the second girl just after Tess was... Hurting. Also, he felt that he maybe wants to prove you wrong, show you, how strong you were to maybe leave the house as soon as possible, just go out of Joel's way when you'll clear your mind again. You were practically still clothed with your shoes on, your knees were uncomfortably pressing into his chest with every move he made. Yet you had to say that any of the sexual activities you've done in the past had never felt as good as this one.

One look in his face told you he's fucking the anger away. You didn't know what he could be pissed about, but it was obvious that he's barely controlling himself at that moment. This revelation made your eyes roll as another moan escaped you. - "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck..." - For a slight moment, you dare to close them, which made Joel groan in frustration.

"Focus right here." - The raspy voice demanded once again, making you focus on his facial features. Which was kinda hard when you had tears in your eyes from how good did the sex felt. You were barely catching your breath, being all wrapped up around the man. - "Right here." - Joel whispered, this one being way more gentle than the other whisper. Your eyes widened themselves when his fingers started to play with you again, having you oversensitive from the time he stroked you with his fingers.

"Let go, girl. Come on. Lemme see what a good girl you are." - That was all it took for your body to go on shutdown as you yelled out loud some rather impolite words. Muscled under your skin were tensing and to your surprise, you were shaking under the man. Thank God you were taking some hormonal pills Maria was giving you because soon enough, you felt him pulsing inside. What was that for?

You've never orgasmed so hard. No matter if you were touching yourself or if it was someone else touching, you never had an orgasm so overwhelming you'd be shaking in the end. As the last spasms were leaving, you finally caught your breath, giving Joel a vulnerable look.

The man seemed to be out of the reality for a while, as he looked into the table. You couldn't quite move until Joel would take your knees off of him, so you cleared your throat. - "Can I... Take a shower? Please?"

At that, he snapped back to reality. Jesus, you messed the dining room up - the coffee and tea were spilled all over the fucking table, the table itself was moved at least three feet away from the place it usually was and... The place was messy. Yet even though what he had done to you, you were looking like an angel, honestly.

Jesus, before, Joel couldn't tell how beautiful you were. But when your eyes shone like that and your body was in the post-sex bliss, you were breath-taking. And Joel knew that not a lot of people would have the chance to see you like that.

"Sure. I'll... Clean it up here... When you'll be... In the shower." - He stepped away from you, turning around to give you at least a bit of privacy. Which was weirdly nonchalant when you thought about the things you've just done. You did the same, practically tiptoeing around him, picking your t-shirt from the ground while you were at it.

Why did you feel so weird when you've done just what you came for? Joel fucked you, didn't he? You should be feeling good, yet instead of that, the things inside you weren't quite... Adding up to your expectations.

Maybe he was right with all the warnings. You were Ellie's best friend. You were a lot younger than him, and maybe, if you'd spend time with any boy but this man, you'd feel the same way about them. You left the bathroom with a furrow, realizing the lower floor was empty - the light was coming up from the upstairs.

You practically sneaked up in him, being covered only in a big white towel. The man was sitting inside his small carpeting workshop - there were a lot of his works around and each of them was beautiful. Somehow, you could feel the love and emotions he worked with on his small wooden statues. To your surprise, he was dressed up to a t-shirt and pajama pants and didn't notice you at all.

"These are beautiful." - You stated from looking at a shelf full of carpeted animals. Joel freaked out a bit, but then he slowly out the wood down, walking next to you. - "You're a talented man. People must've loved your services back when things were... Normal, right?" - You asked, pulling a strand of your hair behind your ear. Joel didn't answer, he just glanced at you.

"How you're doin'? Everythin' alrite?" - There were some serious worries in his voice, which surprised you, but you hadn't said a thing. You only felt your cheeks burning when you nodded.

"I mean, it was kind of a surprise, but... You gave me exactly what I asked for, didn't you?" - You mumbled. With that, the man could feel you're not feeling the greatest. And he kinda understood why. You may be expected to sleep with you, but you couldn't prepare yourself for something like... That.

"I don't know what's gotten into me." - That was a thing closest to sorry you'd ever get from Joel. Which was okay. - "Do you still want what you wanted when you came here earlier?" - He asked. The question made you look at him. It wasn't a weird question, not at all, but the tone of his voice shifted drastically. The man was sorry. And nervous, according to his fidgeting fingers.

"That's hard to tell..." - You tried to tease him a bit, seeing his response right after. He was... Disappointed? You couldn't quite tell, since he turned away from you, closing his eyes and sighing. - "I mean, if I'd suppose that was the passion you'd gave into, I would give a second try, if you want it..."

That made Joel look at you, searching for any sign of irony in your face. He was quite mesmerized when he couldn't find one. You were just a girl standing in a towel in front of a man you were thinking about. It was as simple as that.

"'kay. We need to have some ground rules set, then." - He spoke swiftly. Of course. Rules. You almost rolled your eyes at it before you realized what that man. Joel was into the idea too. He was into you. - "I have two of them. This thing, no matter how long you plannin' to do it, needs to stay secret. And it'd be better if you keep in havin' the cold facade around, yea?"

You nodded. This point was valid and understandable.

"And don't expect strings attached. I don't do these things girl, I'm too old for that." - Oh. Okay. The second point was more of a punch into your stomach, but you bit your lower lip and nodded nonetheless. So far, you weren't in love, right? You were just attracted to the man. And lust and love were two separate things.

"You have somethin' to say?" - Joel asked, slowly tidying up his workshop.

"Do you want me to leave now? We can meet up later." - You asked silently, having a huge smile on your face. That took Joel by a surprise, yet to you, it looked like he's already getting ready to catch some sleep.

"I mean, I sorta thought about repayin' you for what happened down there, but feel free to leave." - With that, there was the first honest smile on the evening showing on the man's face. Which, if you had to be honest, made you smile as well. It even went so far that Joel asked you what was going on when he saw you grinning like that.

"So you want me to stay the night?" - You asked back, watching the man being impossible as he always was. He had just fucked you like an animal if you'd have to describe the whole situation as straightforward as possible, yet now he was standing in front of your very eyes and smiling shyly at you. It was truly a character trait you adored about Joel.

"If you want to call it like that." - Joel answered, not giving you a direct answer. But he did look over his shoulder when he was turning the workshop light off. Your expression was telling him you're intrigued by his behavior.

"Wanna tell me what happened down there? I was asking you to do a good portion of it, but you snapped out of the blue." - The quiet question sounded through his bedroom as you looked around. Your eyes settled down in his guitar in the corner - you knew that one. He gave it to Ellie. And she gave it back when she found out that Joel had lied to her about... Basically everything.

It remembered you about what you were doing, making you sigh at the realization. You screwed her dad - or the other way around. It felt like finally living though the fantasy you had for months just to be... Kind of disappointed it by it. It didn't go down as you thought it would, Joel was acting was different than what you thought he'll be acting like... That was just the way it was.

"I kinda don't wanna talk 'bout it." - Joel answered when he sat down on his bed, watching you taking the room in with your eyes. - "Understandable." - You mumbled in response, finally walking towards the man again. Now that the anger over the whole situation has worn out inside Joel's head, he could take in what a girl you were. Damn, you were pretty.

It was a pure pleasure to drag his palm along the skin on your upper thigh, feeling that it's still wet from the water, but also warm and gentle.

"Come 'ere." - The man whispered, following the same trail with his other hand on the other side. The man quite literally pulled you closer, tugging the towel to fall flat on the ground before he pushed his face between your boobs. Right, he was meaning business at the moment. There was a smile which you couldn't hide when you saw the feelings behind every move he made.

It felt nice to have someone paying attention to your body the way he did. You could feel even the slightest movement on your skin, the small tickling of his breath on the wet trail going down your body before he pulled on your left knee pit to made you straddle his lap. There was a slight moment where you could feel yourself drowning in those eyes before you pulled him for another kiss. After a moment, you started laughing silently while still holding the back of his neck in your hands.

"What's wron'?" - Joel whispered back, just holding your hands in his palms, keeping you in place. It was hard to recognize if something came across as funny to you since there were tears in your eyes as well.

"It's probably... Just a lot of things happening lately. Can you ignore this?" - You asked back, drying the tears away with the nape of your palm. There were a lot of things happening lately and this was only the second craziest of them.

"Sure thing. So... Do you like it on top or..?" - The man asked out of the blue, making you forget about the whole crying deal in a second. Like sure, you were still crying, but at the moment, you were just staring at Joel, not having a clue about whats he's asking about. Then, when it clicked, you wanted to punch yourself he was asking positions. Well, you still didn't know.

"I didn't get to do many experiments with the few boys I've been seeing here, okay? And I wouldn't suspect they're the most creative either. So I don't know?" - You mumbled with another giggle, having Joel nodding.

"Consider yourself hittin' the jackpot, miss." - A quiet mumble came out of him before he leaned in to kiss you, pulling you further on the bed. You were about to try it out - and find out if you'd be comfortable doing something like that. This amount of liberty was quite new to you since the most boys you've had something with were mostly on the top. Or, when you were about to try other things in bed, you usually broke up because of reasons. You weren't the easiest to satisfy either, were you?

"Well, you're not bad, but I wouldn't exactly consider being you as hitting a jackpot." - You teased the living fuck out of the man when you watched him leaning into the bed frame to sit comfortably. Just as you were trying to take the t-shirt off of him, he pulled on your hands, stopping you. His head shook and you nodded with understatement. There wasn't any t-shirt taking off happening, you could let it slide at the moment. So you took at least the underwear off before sitting back on his lap.

"What do expect me to do now?" - You asked, putting your palms on the nape of his neck, looking at him smiling at you. You were expecting a lot, but to see Joel in bed wearing his joking persona was a surprise.

"I suppose you know how to ride a horse, don't you?" - Oh, the man was just getting the best out up himself. - "So, put your lovely knees like this," - He told, his voice was already dropping to the more raspy ones when he positioned your knees in the right way. It was the feeling of being exposed which made you breathe shakily with a sick smile. When you positioned him, he was surprised. - "Look at the girl, she's already learnin'." - And to shut him up finally, you slowly slid down. First, it was good, until you felt how filled up you were actually.  At that revelation, you stopped and opened up your mouth to look at the man.

It was just unpleasant for a second - it wasn't hurting you in any way, it just made you stop for a second to get a hold on the feeling. The man supported you with his arms, but you just nodded to let him know you're good before you supported yourself by putting your palm on his chest. With a sigh, you moved down a bit.

"You're good girl, you're good." - The man praised you, helping you by moving your hips up and down gently. And after a few dragged across minutes, you were feeling good about the whole act. It was like riding a horse in the end, yet much more enjoyable. You were even confident enough to speed up the pace once you kinda figured out how to approach this position. When you did, the man just grunted, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back to the wall, enjoying the feelings this sort of intimacy could bring. Also, you wouldn't suspect yourself to be the one to talk during sex, yet it felt right.

"You may be my favorite thing to ride from now on, huh?" - You asked breathily, pulling him closer. The kisses you gave him were sloppy, which was hot as hell in his opinion. - "You're up for a good ride then." - He chuckled back, moving against you for the first time, which honestly took all air from your lungs when you moaned. You didn't know this can get any better, but what he just did was hot as hell. - "Do it again, cowboy." - You mumbled, leaning your palms into his chest as you arched your back with pleasure. And your wish was your command as soon as he positioned himself so your pelvises were bumping against each other almost every time.

There was this little spot inside of you of which you hadn't got any idea about, but for a reason, it felt so good feeling him hit it a few times here and there. It was amazing to watch your moans getting louder, higher, and more frequent as you both increased the pace even more. You looked at him when he took one of your palms, putting it between your legs.

"You know the best how to work down there, it ain't like I know which spots to hit until I learn it. Be a good girl and help yourself out, 'kay." - He got out with problems, leaning in to catch one of your nipples in his mouth. Your body felt overstimulated for a second - you never had felt so many various sources of pleasure at one, so it didn't take too long before your leg muscles started to tense spontaneously and your toes curled. But the man didn't let you stop, making sure you'll reach the top no matter how hard you were trying to slow down.

With your free hand, you caught his shoulder, concentrating on the pace of the whole act. Your body was heating up to tell you that you're close to hitting the jackpot again and at that, you started to rub yourself even faster. In the next second, you didn't know if you're even alive with how hard you managed to come... Again. This man was impossible.

Your eyes shut tightly when you made an erotic high-pitched sound. It was hard to catch your breath while you clenched into the man violently, shaking from the ecstasy the orgasm gave you. Joel couldn't express how happy your reaction made him, so he just pushed his forehead into the crook of your neck while holding you close, finishing himself off with a few quick moves. And he continued with holding you in place until you came back from the void behind your shut eyes.

"Earth to Y/N. You alrite, girl?" - The man chuckled tiredly, moving a few strands of your hair off of your sweaty face. You nodded back tiredly, getting off of his lap just to hug him one more time. After one last sloppy kiss, you fell asleep because you've never been tired like that in your entire life.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

The Guardian and Saviour (Favored Ones, Part 21.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: “Kill or be killed? What a way to live and to die.” - Shawn James

Part summary: Seattle was just starting to show its true colors to you - the things you were going through were just the begging. It was all going to be worse when you found out that Seattle is in a middle of a war. 

A/N: So... I didn’t know we’re going to spend so much time in Seattle, but at this moment, it seems to last at least eight chapters before we even get to Abby? I mean, that’s a lot. But I want to stay true to the cannon... At least partially.

Warnings: Gore, blood, murder, infected, guns, shooting... Bros... This is going to be gross... And it will be worse than this. 

Word count: 5.6 K

Tagging:   @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme​​ @peakymarvels​​ @davnwillcome​ @pickleriiick​ @jodiereedus22​ @gladiosamicitias​ @tamkashi​ @eternallyvenus​ @avengerssstuff​ @fangirl-inthe-us​ @avery-miller​ @mikah-writes​ @mad-hatter-98​ @sadiaafrin99​ @flavorishy

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day first - afternoon:

Waking up while your head is dizzy and your body is covered in sticky, warm liquid always feels strange - especially when you can't recall what happened earlier. Naturally, the more you stressed when you realized you're between someone's legs and their palm is covering your mouth. The first instinct was to drag to hand down immediately, so you started to wiggle and jerked around to free yourself because you felt endangered. Soon, you realized you knew material of the jacket you've been tugging on. Joel's thighs tightened around your waist to hold you in place as the man looked behind to corner to see if your awakening attracted some attention.

But soon, it was apparent that the people who Joel heard outside, didn't know about you. So finally, he put his arm down, letting you go. But you didn't move away from him - your eyes got frozen on your jacket covered in the blood. Slowly, you looked around to see the dead animal. It was your fucking horse you've been riding for the last few years you lived in Jackson. Sure, Sadie wasn't your property, but Cat never gave you a different horse than your girl. When you rode out of Jackson, you rode out on Sadie's back. And now, it was dead.

You saw what happened. She ran into a shop window and cut her throat open. But you couldn't recall what had caused it. Slowly, you wanted to stand up, but your stomach turned upside down and you almost fell back on your ass. The man reached out for you and caught your elbow. He put his hands around your face to see what you've been looking like - if you're seemingly alright at least. And you were. But as you slowly gathered consciousness, you noticed a big piece of glass in his upper left arm.

"Are you okay, baby girl?" - The man furrowed at you, smoothing a sweet spot under your eye. - "Do you see me twice, your head spinnin', does somethin' on your body hurt real bad?" - He whispered. Jesus, that guy could be so sweet when he wanted to. And he usually did got sweet around you.

"Just... A slight headache, but I'm fine, I think. What about you? Any other wounds other than this thingy sticking out of your arm?" - You asked back, still trying to remember what even happened back there - there was something that had to happen for Sadie to just run into the glass, right? She didn't panic on her own.

"No, the road blowin' up didn't do a number on me, I swear." - Joel looked at you. Oh, damn, that was what happened. The road under Ellie and Dina blew up - and because you and Joel rode quite back behind them, you were fine. More or less. With a furrow, you walked to the horse saddles and went through it. Your feet were sticking to the floor because of the blood - and Sadie's body was still warm. You couldn't be out for a long time.

"What are you doin'?" - Joel asked and you pointed at his upper arm. - "'s nothin', I swear. We take care of it once we find Dina and Ellie. They took 'em." - The man wanted to stop you just when you took out one of his fresher shirts. His jacket was more or less fine, when you ignored the tear in the sleeve, so that didn't need to be changed. But it was drenched in blood too. No way in fucking hell he would be going after the girls in that state. Your man maybe had the right balls to do so, but he wasn't going anywhere with blood flowing out of his arm.

"You sit your ass down. We'll take care of it and then we head out to search for them. Who took them?" - You asked and waited until he takes the jacket off. For a while, Joel was staring at you with a furrow, but then he sighed and sat down, taking off the jacket so you'd have full access to the wound. It didn't seem to be too drastic or deep, but that didn't mean it was a nice sight. You hoped that Joel would be able to lift his gun at least.

"WLF, I suppose, but I just know it were some strangers." - The man sighed, watching as you just ripper the torn apart sleeve off the shirt to get a good look at his arm. Gently, you pulled the glass out, focusing on being the gentlest you could, but a few grunts left Joel anyway. When that was done, you cleaned it up and waited for the blood flow to stop. There was no time to waste, so you only provided him with quick, yet precise stitches and covered the wound in a few bandages, making sure it's at least cleaned up properly. - "You heard where they're taking them?" - You asked and gave him the other shirt to change into, pulling a few of his and your pieces of underwear and t-shirts out of the bag in case you'd tear some apart or something.

"Yea, some building a mile from here. We should be there quickly. Do you still have the map on you, girl?" - Joel asked back as he buttoned up the shirt. You nodded, pulling it out of a small pocket in your backpack, opening it up. You were both watching it for a moment before Joel pointed in the direction of the downtown - "'kay, so we should be here. And they put them... Here." - He mouthed, looking down on you. You nodded with a furrow, counting the streets.

"How do you know where they took them specifically?" - A whisper left you as you arched your eyebrows, licking your lips. Quickly, you made a small X on the map to remember where Joel pointed. You both put together some basic supplies like ammo, food, and first aid kits for the case of an emergency. - "They weren't exactly quiet 'bout what they were about to do. These people are... Gatherin' supplies to attack some spot near Seattle. Don't know who they are attackin', but that's it. And they put them in one of the hoardin' centers to be sure girls won't try to escape." - The man explained to you. That... Made sense, you guessed. So, this was your first official encounter with the WLFs, huh? They just blow up the road under your asses. You probably weren't even meant to blow up, they prepared the place for someone else - but they took what they could get.

"We're lucky they didn't notice us. We could've been in limbo for hours before they came to check the spot... They probably just noticed Dina and Ellie." - Joel told you again and you had to say that it would make sense. Hunters usually didn't check around their booby traps - the went straight just for the big prize. Sadie rode off the road when Joel lost control over her - she could've run quite far before riding into the glass. - "And 'bout what happened earlier..." - Joel whispered when he put the jacket on, following you outside the building.

"Not now, Joel." - A tired whimper left your lips as you tried to shake the dizziness out of you. Your perception of the reality around was still a bit shaken, but it was slowly getting better and better. But the man didn't seem to want to drop the topic at the moment.

"I want you to know that I will guard you the whole time. At any cost. And even though I'm not an ideal man, I love you." - The man poured his heart out just to meet a wall of a cold stare and emotionless expression. When you said you're not in the mood for this sort of heart to heart talk, you meant it. And Joel had to respect your boundaries. The sight of destruction showed you exactly where the bomb had blown up - and Shimmer was laying there, lifeless as well. Someone had to take everything out of the saddlebags in a hurry. There was no sing of Dina or Ellie ever being there other than two silhouettes of woman bodies printed into the stiffened horse blood.

"Nothing other than Shimmer here." - You told Joel when you inspected the area around the body, hoping Joel knew where you two were going. Every second could cost the girls their lives. There was a while of silence when you walked through Seattle's downtown, trying to find the way to the street. Not even for a second, you let your guard down. Every leaf scratching the road, every drop hitting the ground or just the sounds of corrosion and ruined buildings filling your head. It didn't take too long before you walked to a dead end. - "Fuck..." - You groaned, taking the map out of your backpack to take a look at it. - "The street is right behind it. We need to get through somehow, or walk around the barricade, which can add up hours." - A sigh left you as you noticed that Joel had already left your side. His head was moving as he searched for any possible way - and being the survivor he was, he found what he was searching for. His finger pointed at a hole in the wall which was pretty high up.

"You'll go in and unlock the door for me, okay, doll?" - The man asked you, leaning his back into the wall behind him. Gently, he slapped his thigh and prepared you a small parry space out of his palms. This probably wasn't a good idea, but, what else were you supposed to do? There was no way in hell you'd walk around the city to look for a different way to get to the WLF place. But the house could have some infected inside who would kill you in an instant. The true question was - what other options you had? None. That was the answer. None.

So you nodded, lifting your foot to Joel's palms, catching his shoulders in the process, waiting to be lifted. With that, you caught the old man looking at you. - "What?" - "Just... Open the door for me. No scavaging, if you'd see infected, we'll finish them off together, yea?" - Joel asked which had you nodding against your will. And so, he straightened up, helping you climb through the hole. Yeah, sure, you were caught off guard and surprised with what you've found out about Joel, but... The care he was giving you was making you sure he cares about you a lot.

With a muffled sigh, you slipped into the building, falling straight on your knees because your balance fucked up for a second there. You've stayed silent for a moment to hear if anything has noticed the noises you made, but the house seemed to be silent - until you've heard the silent voices coming from the other building standing to your right hand. - "That was a fucking loud bang, Emily. I'll go to look at what it was." - A man told a woman before you heard first footsteps coming your way. For a second, you panicked, until you saw a big cabinet pushed to cover the door - you could take cover there before the man leaves the building alone. You'd swear that you hadn't breathed so loud ever before. Forcefully, you pushed a hand on your lips to calm down a bit, trembling as a dog kicked into its stomach.

The heavy footsteps were getting closer and closer and you'd swear that you couldn't hear anything but your heartbeat and the blood rushing through your veins. Dina was right - the adrenaline rush was intensive. If Joel wouldn't be waiting behind the door, you most likely would search for your gun or just try to stab him with your knife do defend yourself. But you just pressed your back into the wall more, straightening along the side of the cabinet. Your only luck was that the man didn't go to the back of the room - his flashlight illuminated the floor just a few inches in front of your boots and you tried to hold your breath.

"It's clear here. Let's get done with the crates!" - The man yelled at Emily and the sounds of footsteps started to recede into the silence of the house. When you were sure that he's far away enough, you leaned your shoulder into the door, pushing the cabinet away. Your ears heard it so loudly and clearly - every small sound the wooden floors made, every creek of the cabinet, each of your inhales. But the man or the woman didn't hear you, which made you breathe out when you turned the lock and opened the door for Joel. The man looked visibly agitated, yet as soon as he saw that you're okay with his very own eyes, he let out a long breath. He nodded at you, smoothing your cheek with his palm.

"Can you stop for a second?" - Joel asked you when you made your way throughout most of the ruined and corroded buildings, having a clear sight of the WLFs outside. At least a portion of them. - "If you want another heart-to-heart, I swear to motherfucking God," - "Do you know how to take someone out silently?" - The man whispered back at you, have you completely lost in what he was saying for a minute. When you weren't answering, Joel kneeled, pushing you down as well. - "Listen. It's not as complicated as it seems do be, but if you fuck up any small thing, they know about us, rite? We need to do this simply." - The man slowly pulled your knife out of the holster on your leg, showing you how to grab it.

"Your free hand goes for their mouth. Cover their lips and push your elbow into their shoulder to hold them in one place. Sure, they will be tryin' to wiggle out, but you need to try to get them on the ground, you with me?" - Joel asked, looking you in the eyes. Slowly, you nodded, watching his palms toying around with the knife. - "First, you catch the knife like this," - The man told you and put your fingers around the handle, making sure you're holding it tight. - "And to push it in, lean your palm into the top. Just like when you hammer nails." - His palm moved, showing you what he meant by that. The instructions were too much for you to remember. Of course, Joel noticed the panic in your eyes.

"Listen." - His palms held both your shoulders, his head leaned into your forehead. - "You know most of this. Clickers don't stand a chance against you - but these people have a system and safe words, so you can't let them make any sound. You'll know what to do once you get into it. Stay behind me - see those two?" - Joel pointed with his fingers to show you two WLFs on your right. - "I have the right one, you have the one on the left, 'kay?" - The man asked and gave you the knife back, taking out his knife. He didn't give you a clue when he started to crouch forward, so you followed his lead.

The woman who was showing her back was a human being. But previous experience showed you that she wouldn't waste a second before aiming straight for your head. These maniacs had Ellie and Dina cuffed somewhere inside the building - and they even blew up a motherfucking road. They were something like Clickers. It was you, or them. Survival of the fittest... Of sorts.

So when Joel jumped for the guy's neck, you went to grab Emily as well and tried to do as he instructed you to. You put your palm over the woman's lips so only muffled curses and sounds coming out of her filled the surroundings for a moment. She was struggling a lot, almost pushing you to the ground - and in the passion of the moment, you grunted and pushed the knife inside the side of her neck. It was weirdly stiff when it went in, and again, you've listened to Joel's advice, hammering the blade deeper in. The body was still twitching when you felt the first drops of blood on your fingers. Soon, as you took the knife out, drops changed into gallons of the liquid. And dear Lord, did you want to throw up at the moment. The liquid was hot and sticky on your skin.

To stay quiet, you slowly lowered down with the weakening body, laying it down on the asphalt. Quickly, you wiped the blade into on your thighs, looking at Joel. His expression was unreadable as he nodded at you. You followed his lead through the ruins of an old office complex - you both tried to stay as quiet as possible, motioning in the direction of any WLF with your eyes or your head.

The man tried to take out as many as he could to protect your consciousness and to stop the incoming remorses - but you took out a few more guys who almost detected you. And soon enough, you heard gunshots - and Ellie's voice screaming some loud curse words. A relaxed sigh came out of you. The girls were alive, so none of it came in vain. Any time you got the courage to kill one of the WLFs, you repeated that you're doing it for them and that it's you or them. As soon as Joel was sure that your way will cross Ellie's, he got in his feet and loaded his revolver. Still following his lead, you pushed the knife back, taking the bow off your back. - "Stay back. Hide if you want." - Joel whispered, putting his hand on the doorknob. Yet your daring grin as your finger stretched the bow chord.

"Move forward. We have people to save here." - You whispered and tugged one arrow out of the quiver, getting it ready. This reminded Joel of Maria and of the day when Baldwin happened - just like then, there were two lives on the line. And you weren't giving up on them. Joel led you through another maze of office rooms until you had a girl on your gunpoint. You almost let the arrow go - but in the last moment, you realized you were looking at Ellie. And when that information clicked inside your brain, your eyes teared up as you walked to her and hugged her.

"Jesus fucking Christ." - Ellie mumbled to your hair, checking your face briefly. Your cheek was bruised - which happened when Sadie rode into the glass, but you seemed to be more or less okay. Quickly, you both hid under a wall. - "What's that on your hands?" - Ellie mumbled and leaned out to check on the situation, seeing Joel and Dina already regrouped in the corridor. There was a long silence, but as she looked at you, she saw the numb expression you had on your face. Which told her not to ask more questions.

The escape from the building was hasty, you barely got a moment to take a breath. But when you did, and there was no possibility WLF could follow you, Joel barricaded the door and you fell flat on your knees and tried to puke. But nothing came out of your lips. Ellie was mumbling about some letter she found in some boy's pocket, but Dina wasn't listening to her. She kneeled, helping you back on your feet. - "Breathe for me, come on. In and out. In and out. Just like that, baby, yeah. You did well." - The girl caught your cheeks to her palms, smiling at you. - "If there wasn't for you and Joel, Ellie and I would have died." - She mumbled, kissing your forehead. Ellie followed Dina and kneeled next to you, smoothing your upper arm. - "She's right. You saved our asses. Both of you." - Joel was standing a bit away from you, watching the whole situation. He'd expect that you'd freak out after killing the woman, but you got into it pretty fast.

What was strange was that now you weren't that bothered. The remorse wasn't as deep as it was before, which was almost scaring you more than killing someone. Was your consciousness getting numb to taking someone else's life? That was too fast. No. Maybe it was the rest of the adrenaline flowing through your veins, making your hands shake and stomach contract. But... It wasn't as bad as before.

"You good now?" - Ellie asked when you sat on your ass, waiting before you nodded with an exhale. Quickly, you stretched the back of your next before letting Dina pulling you up on your knees. - "'kay. You still have that map with you?" - The girl asked and pulled out the letter again, showing you a picture of some random girl. Dina chuckled upon seeing that photograph, whistling nastily. - "What? She's hot." - The girl grinned and showed you a photo with her name. Some Leah or who the fuck that was.

"She's with them." - Ellie mumbled from reading the letter and looking at the map. At that, Dina looked at the photograph once more. - "Well, fuck her too then." - Ellie gave the photo back to Ellie as you watched the girls talking about the map and the letter. Slowly, you licked your lips and walked to Joel, smoothing his shoulder, checking on him. Only that alone made him smile at you, kissing the top of your head as he pulled you closer.

"The TV station. It's here, behind the tall buildings. Does anyone see tall buildings?" - Ellie turned her head back at you. To look around, you both turned your heads from the collapsed wall, but Dina was already pointing back to the downtown. The redhead snickered, nodding at that. And so, you were set on your way once again. You were walking through Seattle at a fairly fast pace - there were for of you, so you could overcome barriers easily. With meeting some infected and one small group of WLFs, it took you two hours before you saw the horse. Some bodies were shot - the blood was fresh and it was mostly the infected laying around. You walked straight to the dead horse, closing your eyes when your fingers graced over the burnt in mark on the animal's thigh - this was Tommy's horse. And the saddlebacks were empty.

Yet when you woke up from the small trance again, Dina was puking on your right hand, having Ellie smoothing her back. - "This isn't too old, so we better stay sharp. Maybe Tommy isn't that far off and maybe we'll meet him inside the TV station." - You looked at the others. Because there was no reason to stop, you continued forward - and the TV station was closer and closer. Oh boy, the road to the building was filled with booby-trapped explosive - one wrong step and you all would end up in pieces. But Joel and Ellie gladly took out the bombs for you, since they had some experience with it already from someone that they called Bill.

In the end, you were all climbing inside the building. First, it seemed that it's just empty... Until you noticed the small puddles of blood on the ground and drops of it on the walls. Ellie noticed too and both figured out the same conclusion - someone was there recently. Which was confirmed when you walked to the former TV news studio. Your breath hitched when you watched the scenery. Four people were hanged on cables coming out of the big camera machines. Each of them had their belly sliced, so there was another big puddle of blood under them. - "Did... Did Tommy did this?" - Dina mumbled, watching the dead people. - "No." - Joel mumbled, and just when Ellie was about to ask why is he so sure, he pointed on some form of a ritual symbol drawn from the WLFs' blood.

"This doesn't look like Tommy's work." - Joel assured all of you, still looking at the hanging bodies. This was bestial, brutal almost. Ellie came closer to the scenery, looking at it. - "They said they have some... Kind of a problem here in Seattle." - She told you and Joel when you left the place, searching for where to go next. - "Listen, I didn't hear all of it and I certainly didn't know what these fuckers are talking about, but there's someone called the scars. I've seen a drawing back there, so I tried to draw it." - She said, getting her notebook out for Joel and you. It was some old, black-haired woman inside white flowers, doing some religious mumbo jumbo. - "I have a feeling this is her people's doing." - Ellie put the notebook down and you all got silent again.

As you made your way through the building, there was a lot of fucking stuff on your mind. So, there wasn't only the WLFs in Seattle. There was another group that you didn't encounter yet - some religious motherfuckers, as it seemed. Dear Lord, were these shooting on sight as well? You hoped that at least with these people, you might have a chance to talk it out somehow. That would be just perfect. What you'd stubbled into? It seemed that the WLFs are at war with someone. Which sucked shit in your opinion.

And dear Lord, you found Leah in the next five minutes. She was laying there in a huge puddle of blood, her body was pierced with arrows. Which somehow managed to look even more savage than the ones Joel taught you how to make. - "Jesus, the universe wanted this girl dead, huh?" - Dina mumbled upon watching the dead body while Ellie went straight for the bag. - "Is this the girl who..." - Dina looked at you as you kneeled beside Leah as well. Quickly, you shook your head, watching her. Someone wanted her dead and it was plausible that it could be the religious sect who hanged the people on the lower floor. It was a more probable solution.

"Look at this. Y/N... Can you come here?" - Ellie asked upon finding of ten Polaroid photographs in Leah's bag. There were the people who managed to escape them. And these photos were taken near Jackson. Each of them. Dina looked on the photo as well, stopping Ellie at one particular one of a short-haired woman who was sitting there in a tight winter west, sending the camera a big smile. She was the one who asked you if you're doing okay.

"This one. Jesse, Diego, and I met her just a moment before we found you down there. She wasn't armed and she looked so scared that before any of us rose our guns, she managed to get away." - Dina told you the small backstory. - "If she wasn't with the people who had done... That to you and Tommy, she'd be quite nice." - The black-haired girl assumed, looking the woman's face. Her name was Melanie. Melanie.

For a moment, Ellie went through the other photos. And when you saw their fucking faces fairly close to each other. Both of them were smiling, looking straight into the camera. Ellie was the first to realize who you've been looking on. The corners of your lips started to twitch as your brain searched for any word that would come to mind.

"Owen and Abby." - She whispered when she leaned in to inspect the picture over your shoulder. Gently, her fingers took away the photo, looking at these two fuckers smiling into the camera. She already felt her breath hitching as anger started to cover her consciousness. - "We hunt them down like fucking animals. I promise." - The girl whispered just when you heard sounds coming from the lower floors. The WLFs had arrived after the massacre done by the cultists.

Joel wanted you to stay back for the sake of your mental situation - but you weren't planning on staying back. Seeing Abby smiling, being happy just hours before she massacred you was offending you. It had woken up hatred inside of you.

Each life you took brought up a different set of feelings. You weren't as shaken as you were the day you've met the hunters in the woods with Joel. Sure, you still weren't feeling the greatest about taking someone else's life - but these people were affiliated with Abby. All you were going for was leaving a message for the woman. You were after her and you weren't slowing down. Each of them met her at some point, they had joked around, greeted each other, or ate their food together.

The anger woke up the animalistic side you didn't know you had inside of you - with every stab to the neck, you desired to hear them scream, beg for their lives just to feel the satisfaction growing inside of you. Thank God the more rational side didn't leave you, telling you to cover their mouths properly. And in the end, when the building finally got quiet, you were just standing there and looked at the path of the dead bodies you left behind. This was all Abby's doing. She got inside your head, making you thirst for revenge. The thirst wasn't even that strong until you saw her fucking face again. With a sigh, you massaged your face, taking in a deep breath without realizing that you're smudging the blood all over your cheeks and forehead.

"Are you good, baby girl?" - Joel asked you, making you look at him. Tiredly, you nodded, cleaning the knife on your trousers again. - "We need to leave. Let's go." - The man told all of you, already making his way out of the place.

You hadn't been tired as much ever in your life. Seattle was taking its hold on you - the whole day, ever since you arrived, you hadn't stopped to take at least a shallow breath. Your muscles hurt for a fair amount of time and the more you were walking, the more you were feeling the horse incident taking a hold on you. Again, your stomach was clenching and your head was aching. But you met another group on your way and crossing the former subway track was a living nightmare since it all concentrated there - Jesus, you'd swear you'd never seen so many enemies in one place.

"'kay, we have spores ahead, so keep your masks on." - Joel turned to everyone and in the next minute, each of you adjusted the masks on your faces. Yet this time, Ellie took the role of the group leader on her shoulders again, leading you through the old subway wagons. It was probably for the better there was four of you. Dina was puking a lot, you were feeling as if you'd pass out any minute, Joel had fucked up upper arm and Ellie was just fucking tired. But even if you were all done in a sense, you could still help each other to overcome the barriers. The day way settling down, so you needed that you had to find some safe place where you could rest. As you looked around on the empty wagons, suddenly, one of them collapsed under Ellie.

"I'm coming!" - Dina screamed and ran after he immediately as she saw the some infected ran to her girlfriend laying on her back. Joel first checked on you and then, he helped you down from the steep, wet metal. Dina fired a few rounds, but when you climbed down, she was looking at Ellie in shock. And you saw Joel's eyes widen as well. Soon, you realized why.

Ellie's mask was broken. She was breathing in spores that were everywhere around you. But, weirdly, she wasn't coughing. The words that were said? You couldn't catch one because you were just staring at Ellie taking off her mask - and the sounds of incoming infected were making you unfocused as well. - "I'm immune. I'm immune. Fuck." - Ellie muttered out, holding Dina's palms as you changed the magazine inside your gun and Joel did the same with his revolver rounds.

"Kiddos, y'all need to talk about this later. Can y'all run?" - Joel asked, shooting the first infected on sight to their leg. Each of you nodded, both the girls taking out their guns as well. - "Then run!" - The man yelled at each of you, which turned some switch inside of you again. You still were tired and your thigh muscles were on fire as you ran on escalators and stairs with Dina right behind you, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop. It felt like a miracle when you saw the exit. There was a horde of Runners and Clickers tight behind your fucking ass, you couldn't stop to take at least a short breath. The sounds were getting closer and closer as your body crashed into the security gateway. Just after you ran through it, you fell on the ground and crawled away so the others could come through it as well. All you did was that you put your head down on the ice-cold wet tiles of the subway station floor, closing your eyes.

So, to recapitulate the whole day... Your horses were blown up, you lost and found Ellie and Dina, you killed at least twenty people, found out Ellie was immune and were almost killed by the horde of the infected. Well, when it thrives, it doesn't slow down, does it?

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

I want to tell you... (Part 9.)

Description: Nathan Drake is not the exact definition of an unhappy man. His job is steady, his friends still see him from time to time, he plays football, but his marriage is his main problem. Many things will change when a special person comes to his life.

Part Summary: Nathan and Sully had talked you down to join them for a family dinner, at which a set of unfortunate misunderstandings was started

A/N: This shit was hillarous to write, I tell you that. 

Word counter: 2.9K

Tagging: @missdictatorme​, @peakymarvels​, @nemodoren​, @flavorishy​

Series master list: H E R E

Nathan’s car sing-along playlist: H E R E

GIF SOURCE

"Oh no, no, no, crap, what the hell did you manage to do with it?" - Nathan yelled with a horrified expression, running to you with a tea towel swing over his shoulder. He looked at the cut in your finger, inspecting it in its entirety as if you should die any minute because of fatal blood loss. You were kind of snickering at his reaction because Nathan was really cute when he was worried about you.

The man ran away for one minute. One minute to look at some gig Sully was thinking of accepting. And when he got back, you were suddenly bleeding. Jesus fucking Christ, you were kinda hard to wrap the head around. But you were still fun, so Nathan was only half-terrified.

"Shove it into your mouth and suck the blood out, come on." - Nathan instructed you with a serious face. A giggle sounded through the room, which made Nate turn at you from searching for a sticking-plaster for your severely wounded finger. Some mumbo-jumbo left your mouth when you sucked on the blood, watching the man in front of you. - "Come again?" - Nate asked you to repeat yourself while cut off a small portion of the plaster so you wouldn't have it on your whole finger.

"I asked if this is how you acted around in the kitchen when someone hurts themselves. I mean, look at you, you're a drama queen. You will wrap me in a bubble foil to prevent me from getting hurt again." - You stated, having a bit of evil, mean expression in your face. But the smile told Nate that you're just testing him and his patience. Performing you a pitiful 'ha-ha', the man came closer and made the small cut is covered. - "Is this even hygienic, Nate? Will my finger just rot and fall off now? You can start calling me fingerless Y/N by now." - With that, Nate chuckled at the sight of you pretending to be a pirate, making a hook out of your finger. When those theatrics were over, you turned back to cutting the peppers for his masterpiece.

"Human saliva has some healing properties, for your information. But if you'd like me to drench that cut in alcohol disinfection, shove it underwater or different stuff, just tell me." - Nate looked at you knowingly, swinging around with his knife, explaining to you why is licking the cut something he learned that helps a long time ago. When he and his brother were younger, they didn't have enough money to buy proper first-aid kids, which made a lot of things harder. But saliva could do magic in some instances.

"Nah, I think I'm fine, Drake. My finger got the best treatment it could get, so I'm fine." - You chuckled back and heard the front door of Sully's apartment close. Sully himself was sitting in his workroom, going through another possible gig offers - so this must've been his girlfriend Nate and he told you about. And your eyebrows arched when you saw a very young woman dressed up in formal clothes letting her hair out of the bun she had it in as she kicked off her high-heels. You've expected someone... Older. A lot older. This girl didn't have a single wrinkle on her skin - she was gorgeous in every sense of the word. And she was also very eye-catching.

But she stopped at the same as you did, looking at you with her eyes widened. Slowly, she licked her lips, leaning her elbow to the wall next to her while eyeing you up and down. - "Okay, miss, who are you, and what are you doing in my flat?" - The woman asked, making sure you feel cornered by her. And dear lord, she was great in intimidating the living shit out of you.

"I'm... On... A visit?" - You peeped and at that moment, Drake saved your ass by peeking from behind you, sending Florence a casual smile. The anger suddenly disappeared into the thin air. The woman walked to you excitedly, offering you a palm to shake.

"Name's Florence Carter. Nice to meet you." - She told you with pure joy, which dropped a bit when you told her your name. Oh. Sully told you that his and his girlfriend's situation is pretty fresh, so she must've concluded that you're Elena, since she hadn't the chance to meet her yet. But her bright smile was on again in no time at all, as she greeted Nate by a bear hug, leaving to greet Sully as well.

You've heard her talking about some sort of Drake exposition in some institute, which sparked another conversation between you and Nate.

"Listen. Drake... That kinda does ring a bell inside my head." - You turned at him, watching the man preparing homemade tortillas. He turned back to you as well, arching his eyebrows in surprise.

"You're into history?" - He asked before working with the dish-to-be once again. You didn't know the slightest shit about history. Honestly, you could barely remember your homeland's history and that, for you, was the absolute maximum. But you made an agreeing hum nonetheless. - "Go on, who was Francis Drake? You have me shook now."

Fuck. Fuck. Nathan's voice was hinting that he was aware of you knowing an absolute shit about some Francis Drake. Who was he? Well, your time to shine was there, and you didn't want to leave Nate hanging. - "Francis Drake, you asking me, huh?" - "Yea, I am." - "Well, there was this certain craze about marine biology, as you surely know. It was some time after Columbus had discovered the continent and he noticed some big sea animal in the water and he was in awe, to quote him 'I will be exploring the sea life from now on'. Yea, don't look at me like that, Jesus, Nate, everyone knows this shit. And Francis Drake was a man who was watching the dolphins for some time now and he agreed to help Columbus with his research." - You told Nathan, having the man laughing in the half of your on-the-spot-made story. Your confidence was what made him almost weeping tears away from his cheeks. - "Come on, I was at least in the ballpark." - You snickered at the sound of his laughter, which made you secretly smile too.

"You were in a ballpark... Of a completely different era, explorers and scientists. He liked the sea, that's something you guessed correctly, and for all I know, sir Francis Drake could be a marine biologist, but... I don't know if he'd find time to watch sea animals and fish during his thrilling privateer and many believed pirate career." - Nate smiled at you while leaning over your shoulder for a bottle of olive oil. Well, damn you, Nate was clearly very educated in the subject and you just made a total dud out of yourself. But the damage was already done, and you just had to accept the utter defeat.

"And... Is it some coincidence that you have the same surname, or..?" - You asked and added the pepper to the burrito filling. You were already hungry as hell and the meat blend Nate had finished about half an hour ago was smelling so delicious that you thought about eating all of it by yourself before the burritos will be even finished.

"Not entirely. It's..." - Suddenly, the joy had run out of Nate within seconds. He looked in front of himself, dropping the wooden spoon out of his fingers, having a lost gaze and expression on his face. The man licked his lips and tried to ignore the tightening feeling inside his chest. - "It is a long story. I'll maybe tell you one day, huh? Just not right now, okay?" - He tried to talk through the empty silence you had going on.

You felt bad suddenly. You had just bumped into some sensitive topic. And you didn't want to hurt the man who was just starting to be your friend. - "Can I tell you a pirate joke? To make you feel better?" - You asked, standing next to him as he was working on the first burritos.

"Now we're talking. You have my full attention." - Nate turned his head at you as you watched the tortillas frying. You smiled with a slick grin, straightening up to deliver the joke perfectly. - "Why is pirating so addictive?" - You asked and took the first tortilla from him, filling it up skillfully. You couldn't cook for shit, but this wasn't so hard, and you wanted to help him at least somehow. - "No idea." - Nate giggled, already knowing it's going to be one of the worst jokes anyone had ever tell him. And that was almost unreachable primacy because his brother had singlehandedly told him the worst jokes he ever heard.

"Well, they say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!" - You said with a nasty grin, pretending that your wounded finger is a hook again. The man rolled his eyes, but he laughed nonetheless, saying something along the lines 'this is so bad, Jesus'. Soon enough, you prepared enough burritos for all of you to eat. The rest of the fresh vegetables, of which you took care as well, was for Nate to cook from at his home. Florence had changed into more comfortable clothes and Sully looked strangely contained. You had an idea of what was going on, but Sully most probably had just some good nap to your letdown.

The woman was energetically jolting around the table with a big smile, serving everyone the wine she caught for the occasion, humming one of the summer bops that was playing inside her head. When she sat down next to Sully, the older man chuckled and looked at Nathan. - "She wants to tell you somethin', boyo." - Sully smugged and motioned his hand for her to continue in the news she had to say. Nathan arched his eyebrows, excited about the unknown information Florence had for him.

"The local national museum will have... A wirble, please." - Her elbow nudged Sully's side. The man rolled his eyes because he was just shoving a burrito down his throat, but did as she asked for, drumming his fingers on the desk of the table. - "A permanent sir Francis Drake exhibition thanks to you, Sully and Sam providing me with so many Drake exhibits. We're now talking about the next pirates we would like to include in the exhibition. I will be forever grateful for that, because, now we're in business, baby and I am the project's main curator." - Florence said joyfully, having Sully proudly smoothing the upper part of her thigh while he still shoved the rest of his food down.

Nathan breathed out in shock and leaned his back into the chair, looking into the table with fascination. But that certainly wasn't enough. Florence had more to say. - "And because I am a big animal in the museum, I proposed the idea of us including some most famous legends, myth, and theories surrounding the pirated... I have pulled some strings and your mom's work will be included. If you'd agree, that is." - Florence said quickly so Nathan would know she isn't taking it as a sure thing. Which put tears into the man's eyes.

You couldn't know about Nate's past and his mom, so you were kind of an intruder in the situation. But the revelation and joy radiating out of your friend was handing in the air and it was so clear, that it made you feel good as well. The whole dinner, understandingly, was rotating around the topic of Nate's mother and the whole exhibition.

At the end of the evening, you had to say that Sully and Florence were a true power couple. Sully was a famous Irish pub owner, of which most of the people in the town knew and you had it on your wish-list as well by the time, and Florence seemed to be pulling the strings in the national museum despite her young age. And to be honest, you were kind of having respect for both of them, which was surely applying to Nathan as well, because he was their best friend. Were these guys in a fucking gang or something? The more they talked about their day-to-day life, the more convinced you were about it.

Holy fuck. You just had to have fucking bad luck with people, hadn't you?

And naturally, Nathan noticed your bad mental state as he drove you home around ten p.m. You were awkwardly silent throughout the whole ride that it made him worried. And being the upfront man he was, he just asked you what's wrong. Ever since you told him your theory about Sully and Florence, possibly even him, being leaders of some gang, Nathan couldn't stop laughing about your assumption.

"What's so funny about that? Huh? I'm fucking scared for my life and you're just laughing at me, man." - You exclaimed when you stopped at a red light to wait before continue on your small journey to your home. Nathan gave you such a sweet smile that it made you feel like a total idiot for a moment - but then, you gathered your confidence back, reminding yourself about these two.

"We're not some... Gang. I assure you of that, okay? It's way wilder than some boring gang." - Nate rolled his eyes playfully and stepped on the gas pedal again, moving the car forward. This statement, no matter if it was a joke or not, made your eyes widen. Was Nathan about to abduct you? Just drive off with you into the night? Was Elena even real in the first place? Jesus fucking Christ, you were on the verge of crying at the moment. - "Please, no, no, no." - The man panicked suddenly at seeing you so distressed at some another dumb joke he made. - "We're not bad people, I swear on my life, okay? I am just a normal guy who works as a cook. That's who I am. I have no dark secrets or past." - He was making it worse and worse with each passing second he was talking.

"What if... Crap, listen to me. I'll tell you what we're doing as a side job. And it's nothing bad-people related, but... It sure as hell breaks a lot of laws and you have to stay silent about everything I would possibly tell you." - Nathan burst out in his full-on panic mode. The man wanted to bitch-slap himself so badly. With every word he told you, he just made the whole deal seem more and more serious. - "I am an archeologist. I do search for... Stuff you hear legends about. But I would have to explain to you deeper for you to stop thinking I am some sort of a sociopath. Would you... Listen to it? Please?" - Nathan breathed out, having an uncomfortable expression himself. Quickly, you glanced over to him. And it left you surprised.

His breath was shallow as he fell deeper and deeper into one of his anxiety-panic attacks. He had tears in his eyes while his palms crushed the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white almost instantly. Nathan was just trying to be the goofy guy around the girl he liked and all it had accomplished was that now she thought that he was a criminal of sorts. And he couldn't take any of it back.

"Okay." - You whispered after a moment. It was probably just your brain jumping to conclusions too fast as it always did. Maybe Sully was really just a pub owner who was just a good businessman. Maybe his young girlfriend Florence was an extremely talented historian. And most likely, Nate was just a guy who loved to cook for other people. The man slowly faced you again, trembling almost unnoticeable. - "Okay. You can tell me about this side job you have. But if it just comes across as human trafficking or..." - "No! No. I would never... Never. No." - The man disagreed immediately, letting you know that this reaction was as authentical as it could be.

"Would you like to come to my place to tell me about it?" - You whispered, slowly gaining the initial trust you had for your new-found friend in the strange city you were an outsider in.

"I have a lot of things to prove my storied at my place and I would have to pack them up and move them to my car. Would you mind..?" - Nate asked nervously. It was weird as fuck to ask you to hang out at his place after the full-blown conspiracy theory about him being a criminal who probably kills people, but really - all of the artifacts, books, maps, and other shit Nate hoarded throughout the years were too fragile to just take to your place.

You were silent for a moment as you tried to contain the nerves inside you, but you nodded in the end. You trusted Nathan. And he felt redeemed at the exact same moment.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

A Night Like This (Sriracha, Part 10.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: The last fourteen days in Hawkins is all you have. And Jim is willing to do anything to give you the most unforgettable fourteen days of your life so far.

A/N: OKAY. I HEAR YOU SAYING - NEVER SURRENDER IS 1985. Baby, pretend for me that it was released two years prior. Queen (the movie) also wasn't accurate as well and did you walked out of the cinema? Also, the next few parts are going to be influenced by Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship, because that's such a cheesy love song and it made me fall in love with the eighties music.

Word Count: 6 K (AND I OOP-)

Tagging: @nemodoren​ @missdictatorme​ @creedslove​

Master list: H E R E

When you opened up your eyes, you were all alone in the bed and the trail was smelling just nice. You heard dishes making sounds and a male humming, which you assumed that it had to belong to Hopper. You heard quick footsteps and then quiet opening of the door and you smiled, when Hopper stuck his head there with a curious face. 

He smiled as well when he saw you just resting in the bed. He opened up the door completely, letting the smell of cooked food in and he sat on the edge. Hopper really did something with himself - his hair was surely taken care of, but he kept the beard. He was dressed in a brown flannel shirt and jeans, the shirt tugged in. You inhaled and then you giggled, hugging the pillow under you.

“What?” - Hopper asked and leaned into his palm, resting it next to your leg. 

“Since when do you wear cologne?” - You asked and your smile widened even more. - “And by the way... Good morning, handsome.” 

“So, she still thinks that I'm handsome even if we are both sober.” - Hopper noted quietly, making you laugh. - “Slept well?” - He asked and laid down, his face now in the range of touch. 

“You can say that, yeah.” - You nodded and did as you wished to - you raised your palm and touched his jaw for the first time. You wondered at the feeling of his soon-to-be-beard on your skin. The hair on his face was harsh. You didn't know if he remembers a shit about the last night and you half-expected that he'd turn away or something. But he didn't. - “You?” 

“Well, I almost hit the sack and suffocated you once or twice durin' the night. But you always snuggled back.” - Hopper smiled, kissing the inside of your palm. So he remembered at least a part of the night. That made you smile even wider. - “Like a damn sweet tick.” 

“How much do you remember from last night?” - You asked and smiled when you saw his nose traveling on your wrist and down. Hopper put his fingers around your wrist just like that, he had impressively long fingers, and gently dragged you slowly dragging you until he put his arm around your waist. There was a small moment on silence when the man looked you in the eyes for permission before you leaned in for a kiss. This one was different - first thing was that your teeth weren't brushed yet and the other one was that... This felt more passionate. This felt more real than the underwater kiss. It felt sober and wanted. Again, the heat traveled throughout your whole body and slowly, you got on your knees to give even more into the kiss, holding his jaws in your palms so you were sure that he won't turn away. 

Little did you know that Hopper wouldn't turn away under any circumstances. 

You kissed him. And he was kissing you back. If you weren't a responsible adult, then things could get heated pretty quickly - his tongue was swift with entering your mouth, your teeth met once or twice and he even bit your teeth with a contained smile. And that taste... Oh, Lord. there were definitely cigarettes and some food he tasted before he checked on you, but his personal flavor? Oh damn. With a wide smile, you pulled away from the kiss, hugging his shoulders as you sat down. 

That fucker's contained smile was more than words - he was giving you a grin, slowly licking his lips. Hopper couldn't take his eyes off you even when you were asleep. Messy hair, sloppily winking eyes and a contained expression. He didn't surely tell you everything about the night - he had woken up around four in the morning to take a piss and he forgot that he had someone there with him - until you hummed angrily because he was moving. 

Jim noticed that you were hugging him, your legs entwined with his, your fingers entwined. He wiggled out of your embrace in the most gentle way he could and quickly pissed so he wouldn't leave you all alone. When he came back, he only quickly put boxers from the same drawer you took them and the positions changed. Now he was spooning you, his arm wrapped from your hip to your breasts because you were way gentler than he was. You hugged one of his legs with both of yours, your arms circled around his. 

He couldn't fall asleep since then - he only laid there pressed on you, his nose was buried in your hair as he held you so you could feel completely safe. He didn't feel such calmness for a really long time. All the negative feelings disappeared through the window and the only thing he was concentrating was the beat of your heart against his very own and the way you held his arm.

Maybe you were right after all. The toughness and ignorance were only masks so he could stay on his own until the end. He wasn't able to open up for anyone else - he wasn't sure if he would survive another person tearing his heart apart like Diane did. But with that, he restrained himself from such beautiful feeling as those which he felt were. What a shame. 

“Does that answer your question about my memory?” - Hopper mumbled before giving you a peck and getting up, disappearing into the kitchen for a moment. - “I got you somethin'.” 

He put the small bag aside, that was for you as well, but he was happier about a particular tape he got his hands on. The youngling selling the tape to him was rather surprised that the tough guy Jim Hopper, the Chief of Hawkins police department, could listen to the Romantics. He gave the tape to you and you opened it up. 

“In Heat by The Romantics?” - You asked back - it included three songs. Talking in Your Sleep, A Night Like This and What I Like About you. Nothing, literally nothing, could be cheesier than getting a tape like this. But you smiled and it really made you happy. And that made Hopper happy as well. - “What's that for? Jesus, Hopper, thank you... But I have this at home already.” 

“I bought it so we can listen to some of their songs here. Maybe even dance to them?” - Hopper asked and put his lips into a smile. You opened up your mouth and then laughed once again. Hopper was inviting you to your place at least one more time.

"For real?" - You whispered to him, looking him in the eyes. Was that a date proposal? Was that Jim telling you that he likes you in his own way? No matter what it was, you felt happy. He nodded, humming. - "You can stick around if that's what you would like to do. I won't be mad."

"My last two weeks in Hawkins are all yours, then." - You promised, throwing the tape into the blankets, pulling him in for another kiss. So this was a kind of proposal for him. He didn't want to tell you that he wants to date you or that he wants to tell you that he really likes you, he just wasn't able to bring himself to say things like that out loud - but that tape was damn close.

"Hey. What about takin' a shower and having breakfast first? My turn to show you that I can cook." - Jim pushed you away gently. Now, when it was obvious how much you wanted each other, there was no need to take everything quickly. You sighed and got up from the bed, pulling him closer with his shirt for the last peck before leaving.

"And don't you stare at my ass, Jim Hopper!" - You yelled back at him and he just smirked, already staring at your ass clothed in his boxers. While you were in the shower, he hung you the bag there - there was a toothbrush with fresh toothpaste, a comb and a pair of black, lacy panties which were really similar to the ones you left at your place - at least he could say what style did you prefer and what kind of underwear you liked. You weren't complaining at all, no, but it rose your eyebrows pretty quickly.

Once you dressed up into your clothes, still leaving his old, bleached stained blue shirt on, tugged into your pants, you went to look at the masterpiece he was cooking.

The presentation actually surprised you - there was a mug for both of you and you could choose from coffee, juice, and tea. He bought some fresh fruit and he was cooking something you couldn't identify, yet it smelled just delicious.

"And she keeps on stealin' my clothes, doesn't she?" - Hopper asked while he added milk into the mysterious food and you sat down to the table, pouring yourself some tea.

"You bought everything in the grocery store, didn't you? Bet that this is the biggest amount of food you had here in a long time." - You answered back and took a plate of banana while you watched his ass. He had a great one, you needed to say. - "Nobody knows you're wearing actual clothes because no one in Hawkins saw you outside your uniform, calm down."

"Touché." - Hopper answered and poured you the thing inside a bowl. It looked... Awful. You looked him in the eyes and saw how excited he is for you to try it out, so you bit your bottom lip and took a whole spoon of the mysterious something. You expected immediate throwing up, but it actually was delicious. You rose your eyebrows and nodded with respect, taking another plate of banana.

"Finger-lickin' good, isn't it?" - Hopper asked, taking his bowl to sit on the opposite side of the table. You opened your mouth, your face clearly showing a good portion of the offense.

"That's my catchphrase, Mr. Handsome! Don't you dare to steal it." - You responded, eating more of that sweet something.

"Oh, I forgot that KFC shamin' is your thing. My sincere apologies." - Hopper answered in response.

You were amazed by how relaxed he actually seemed to be. You never saw him smiling... Let alone smiling without being unable to stop. His jokes were just a continuous thing that didn't seem to disappear as soon as you open up your mouth.

"It's Friday. What are you doing tonight?" - You asked and finished the bowl in complete silence, yet the childish looks and grins were still in the air.

"Don't have any plans. What are you about to do?" - Hopper asked back and started to clean up the table. Another childish smile came upon your lips as you stole him another cigarette. He spared you one of those you shouldn't be smoking looks but kept his mouth shut.

"Guess I'm having a sleepover?" - You asked innocently and even if Hopper's face was turned away from you, you could say that he's grinning. Secretly, he hoped you would say this, but he wasn't giving you any of that for free.

"Oh, really? At your friend's?" - Hopper asked back, pretending to play along. - "What are you goin' to do, girls?"

"Girly stuff, you know what I mean. She has around six and a half feet, a beard and she is pretty buffed, so I'm going to paint her nails, we'll talk about boys, watch TV and I'll tell something about current fashion trends." - You poked fun of Hopper's shirt and at the moment, Hopper turned around to face you.

"Is her style really that bad?" - He asked worriedly. He wanted to look good for you, because it was actually a miracle to have a girl so much younger liking someone like he was. He wasn't in the best shape, looked like a living nightmare in the morning and he overall was just a bit too old... For a college student.

Hopper didn't know what was attracting you to him, but he told himself that he won't be risking if he takes a bit better care of his looks that morning.

"No, she looks good, but I think we can bring out her eyes even more. They're beautiful." - You said quietly. Hopper didn't have a proper response to that, so he just turned back to continue with the dishes. So you thought he was hot. You told him he's handsome. And you liked his eyes. What else did you like about him? He had thirteen days to discover all of it and to be honest... He couldn't wait.

"Anyway, I'm going to head home. Mom was kind of weirded out when I just disappeared minutes before dinner. I owe her an explanation. Do you have any menthol chewing gum around here by any chance, big guy?" - You stood up and took your backpack, packing all your stuff - the clothes from yesterday. You left the comb, toothbrush and paste he bought you in the bathroom, so he would know you're keeping your word.

"In the car." - He threw the keys at you and let you take your bike from the trunk. But there was the chewing gum, that was a real mystery for you. Well, until you felt two hands on your hips while you were leaning into the car, desperately searching for it.

They were hidden under the newspaper in the small drawer at the co-driver's seat. - "Need a ride home?"

"Oh, dear lord, no. That would be weird. One of our neighbors came to ask mom when you gave me the first one and I wouldn't explain why did you do it for the second time." - You smiled, looking him in the face. He wasn't smiling anymore. Was he sad that you're leaving? It would be cute, but it would make you sad as well.

"Hey, don't give me a face like this. This weekend is all yours. I promise." - You rose your pinky and gave him a smirk. He repeated your actions, starting to smile as well. - "But now, you should at least pretend that you're interested in your work. It's about nine, the right time to head to the office."

"Flo won't be mad if I tell her that I was savin' a person in distress." - His hands found your waist and you almost went mad. Jesus, all of that was just so exciting for you. Your smile widened when you caught the shirt on his chest and brought him a little bit closer.

"So that's you were doing every morning?" - You whispered, daring to look him in the eyes.

"Not until now." - Hopper admitted with a smirk, finally kissing you. It was a strange fascination to feel his lips pressed to yours, the beard scratching your face, the playfulness when you opened up your mouth just right to let him take control of the situation. You didn't even realize how close you pressed his body and how tight were you hugging him, traveling with your hands on his back - until the kiss stopped.

"I’ll swing around here by eight? What about that? Maybe leave me a key under the big mossy rock?” - You swung legs over the bike, taking the bubble gum to your mouth, looking at Hopper. - “You have yourself a deal, missy.” - Hopper told and with that, you biked away from the trail. 

You were happy - you really were. You didn't exactly know how to name the thing you two had - it wasn't a relationship, it wasn't romancing, it surely wasn't dating - what the hell was it, then? Should you even think about that? All that mattered was that you felt good around him and he felt good around you. Kissing him wasn't exactly in the plan, but when you thought about it, your heart raced at the speed of light. His Blazer drove past you, but he didn't acknowledge your presence since you were both waiting for a green light in front of the city hall. When it showed, both of you turned at the opposite sides - you were speeding to your home and Jim was off to the office.

You knew that your mom will be really super-pissed once you walk into the house. But you could say that you didn't give a fuck. There were more important things you got on your mind. You parked your bike next to the garage and unlocked the door, your mom almost immediately jumped at you. 

“Where the hell have you been? Just running out of the house at seven p.m.? What's gotten into you?!” - She closed the door with a slam. And as you heard the loud bang, a perfect excuse formed in your head. 

“Hopper.” - You said with hesitation. She put her palms on her hips, watching your face. - “I realized that it was on the sixteenth of August yesterday and... Hopper told me that he was in Vietnam on this date nine years ago, something nasty over there and I was just worried about PTSD coming back. I also thought that I can make a great case study out of that.” 

There was a moment of silence when your mom was thinking about what youve said. After that, she nodded slowly, watching the t-shirt you had on.

“Oh, so you were with him?” - She asked and you could say that shes a partially afraid of that. 

“Well, yes, but he was already wasted by the time I found him. He just needed someone to talk to, mom. And... He puked on me, so that's why he borrowed me this shirt. Yeah.” - You gave her a small smile before she hugged you. Oh, so now, you were the hero of the story. Only if she would know... You closed your eyes and hugged your back with a sad smile.

“You are such a good girl and we raised you so well. You saw a troubled man and decided to help him when he needed it the most. I'm so proud of you.” - She held your face and kissed your forehead. Aiden was just walking the stairs down when he saw the situation which was going on. 

Your eyes met for a while and he could say that something isn't exactly the same on you. He could say - you maybe hated each other, but he was your little brother in the end. It made him furrow, but he kept his damn mouth shut. He knew that if you would be up for a talk, you will come to him on your own.

“Also, would you mind if I stay for the weekend at Julia’s? We want to hang out before I move out to Indianapolis.” - You bit your bottom lip nervously, smiling at her. Julia always had your ass when you were doing something that your parents didn't have to know about, just as you had hers. You knew each other since kindergarten and actually hanged out a lot, but since boys and different interesting things came to both of your lives, you decided to cover each other when you need it.

“No problem, darling. She'll be thrilled. What's your plan?” - Your mom asked while you were on your way to the phone. 

“Julia wants to take her new car for a ride, so well be most probably go to the drive-in theater.” - You told her with a smile, dialing the number, watching your mom continuing with tidying up. Julia's mom picked up in time. 

“Nguyen’s residence, what do you need?” - She asked in a sweet tone. Dear Lord, you loved Mrs. Nguyen. She was a sweetheart working as an economical assistant in local mechanic’s and she always cooked the best pancakes. 

“Hi, Mrs. Nguyen, it’s Y/N. May I speak to Julia?” - You asked and took the backpack off. You heard Mrs. Nguyed yelling at her daughter and their dialogue in the dialogue before Julia got a hold of the actual telephone. 

“What's up? I haven't heard from you in weeks. Heard you still got a job at the PD station, how's that treating you? Or, how's Hopper treating you? Still the pain in your ass?” - She giggled, poking fun of you. You rolled your eyes and laughed as well. 

“Nice weather today, want to plan something?” - You asked, sending her a clear message to make her understand what you needed from her. She made a long “ah” before letting you answer her questions. - “The part-time job was actually fun. I helped with a few cases, the policemen were really polite and nice... I enjoyed the stay there.” 

“Definitely a nice weather out there, missy. I just wanted to call you and ask the same question. Steve from biology classes, you?” - She covered the phone, you could hear that, and you made a sound so she would understand that you can't exactly speak. You didn't even want to talk with her about Hopper. Not at that point. You didn't even know if there's something to tell her about.

“Okay, I'll see you in the evening then.” - She yelled clearly so her mother would hear her and you laughed, looking at your mom as well. - “See you, bye.”

With that, you had a long day ahead of you. First of all, you packed everything you thought you needed, prepared an outfit and had a shower. Then you decided to wear something else and rearranged the outfit again. You needed to look like you're not up to something, but you wanted to look attractive at least a bit. 

Around lunchtime, you descended to the kitchen to have some lemonade, since it was almost unbreathable in your room. And you almost shitted yourself when you heard who was calling to your mom. 

“Ah, yes, Chief. She told me about your PTSD problem and so... I'm so sorry about that. - Ah, yes. - She’s here actually. - You want to talk to her? - No problem. - To thank her for listening to you? - Alright.” - She nodded at you, giving you the phone. You nodded at her and waited until you saw her going to the garden. 

“Are you actually crazy?” - You breathed out and giggled, almost whispering to the phone. You could almost see Hopper licking his lips at that. And he was also smoking again. 

“I ain't the one who told your mom I have PTSD. I just thought about takin' some food and then pickin' you up?" - Hopper asked as quietly as you and you giggled, making a serious face when your mom entered the room again. - "No, that's alright, sir. Oh, don't worry about the shirt, I'll just do the laundry. Anyway." - You talked while she was in the room, watching you with a smile, going back whispering as soon as she left.

"No way, Hopper. The food sounds just great, but no picking me up. I can drive my own bike, you know?" - You asked, leaning your shoulder to the wall. No matter how embarrassing this was for both of you, it was actually very sweet.

"And I would've never doubted that. See you at eight-fifteen then?" - He asked quietly again and you rolled your eyes. Jesus, that man was a piece of work.

"Yes. At eight-fifteen, your place. And don't ever call here again. Mom would ask me." - You begged him, watching your mom watering the roses in front of your house. - "And I really don't want to tell her. Go back to work, Chief and solve a case for me."

"Right. See ya." - Hopper chuckled and ended the call. You ran the stairs with a glass of lemonade in your mouth, smile widening from ear to ear.

Then you sat at your bed, listening to the radio, listing through the magazine when a thought came up in your head. Nobody aside you two could know. That something youve started that morning, whether it will end up after this weekend, a week or when you'll leave Hawkins, you had to keep your mouths shut about it. Nobody could see you, nobody could suspect anything. 

God, that man was twice as old as you were. People would talk and they wouldn't hold anything back as soon as they would hear about you having a little romance with the local Chief of police. Relationships with such an age difference were unacceptable - sure, celebrities were doing it, but you weren't a celebrity. You were just a smalltown girl.

Many thought that Hopper isn't sane at this point, what would they say about him now? You heard from people that he's sleeping around with women, yes, but seducing a college student? Unacceptable. You needed to talk about this with him. 

That was what you were thinking about when you unlocked his trail. He really did leave you a key under the rock as you told him. Without hesitation, you got to clean up, picking up the rest of the cans and packagings that were literally everywhere while you made sure that the living room is ready for you just to lay there, watching a movie or something. You had enough time to even clean up the whole kitchen before you could hear the door unlocking. You thought about organizing his drawers with clothes, but in the end, you told yourself that that would be a bit too far - but you needed to talk with him about that.

When Hopper came in, he was still dressed up in his uniform and he held a paper bag with food in one hand, hiding the second one behind his back, closing the door with one of his ankles. Your head automatically leaned to your shoulder from cleaning up the sink when you admired his looks.

"Hey there." - You mumbled and cleaned your hands with a sweet smile. When he showed you the surprise he was hiding, you chuckled and watched a beautiful daylily he brought you. - "Ah, you shouldn't buy me a flower. That will raise eyebrows." - You mumbled while you admired the flower, sniffing it, your smile widening.

"In fact, I stole it from old Mrs. Darcy's garden." - Hopper chuckled and you opened up your mouth, watching the man with disbelief.

"You didn't!" - You squealed with a burst of laughter.

"Yea, I did." - Hopper smiled as well and you hugged him from the back, the flower still in your hand. His palms found yours and you felt safe at that moment. - "I've missed you there." - Hop rose one of your palms to his lips, kissing it, while you took the hat off his hair. It was ridiculously hot there even if you already opened up the window and the French door leading to the small terrace behind the trail.

"Give yourself a shower and being so cheesy, I'll prepare the dinner." - You shushed him away from the food, laughing at him while he was leaving the room. He watched you when you looked away to prepare the food. He noticed you took the t-shirt which you stole from the first time, the gray one with orange stripes and denim shorts, but you haven't done any make-up. Around Jim, you were staying true to yourself, sending him a signal - whatever he wanted to tell you or do, it was fine.

He was troubled. It would've been strange if he wasn't troubled in some way. He was a war veteran and a police chief. All of those changes and formed Hopper into the person he was that day. And you were completely fine with it.

When he got out and put some clothes on, he found you sitting on the couch, along with a bowl of popcorn, prepared food and two cans of Coca Cola. You were watching the news, clearly paying attention to what was happening.

"I haven't bought that." - He pointed at the popcorn and cans, but you nodded from listening to news about the parliament. - "Yeah, I did."

"You could've just told me." - Hopper mumbled and unwrapped the burrito. You looked at him with a smile.

"I have my own money, calm down. It's just some Coca Cola and popcorn, it isn't like I paid your rent or whatever." - Was a witty remark before you unwrapped yours as well, putting a small plate on your thighs to not mess up the couch. You sat next to each other like two five-year-olds, eating in silence while you watched the news about the weather.

"Jesus, will you move closer on your own or should I drag your ass here?" - Jim asked when it was almost ten minutes since you started eating. Without hesitation, you moved closer, letting his arm hug your shoulder. It was enough to make you giggle and heart beat faster. - "I meant what I've said. I've missed your ass sittin' at the desk."

Hopper leaned in to kiss your temple, bringing you a bit closer to him. You put your elbow on his thigh dressed in a pair of jeans, smiling with eyes closed.

"I've been thinking about you." - You straightened before you reached out a hand to catch his jaw. You didn't even need to pull him for a kiss, he went for one on his own. It was a burrito tasting kiss and you liked it.

"Wait. Let me... Get these out of the way." - You put both his and your burrito on the plate, putting it on a table before immediately coming back to the part where ended - pulling him closer and climbing on his lap while you closed your eyes and made a pleasant sound. Jesus, you wanted him to kiss you all night long, tasting his personal flavor and cigarettes from his tongue.

You could feel as his hands slowly pulled the t-shirt out of the shorts, gracing over the skin on your lips gently as your hands caught his jaws. The man let you lead the pace of the kiss, still using the tongue first.

When you moved away to take a breath, his eyes remained closed as his tongue cleaned off his lips.

"Before anything else happens..." - You whispered, still heavy breathing, your heart beating so loud that he just had to hear it. - "There are things we have to talk about, is that right?" - Hopper finished, leaning the back of his head into the wall.

"Yeah." - You climbed off, letting on your feet on his thighs. - "You first." - Hopper sighed a bit and you exhaled as well.

"Secrets." - You said quietly and looked him right in the eyes. Hopper chuckled at that. - "What with secrets? Like we should tell everything about ourselves to the other one?"

"No. Hop, we need to be a secret. People would be outraged if they would find out that you're spending time with someone who is half your age. Some people don't exactly love you and this would hurt both and me. Let's just pretend outside the trail that we're just strangers." - You cleared yourself in a begging tone. That was a thing that didn't cross his mind, but you were right. The news would spread rather quickly and the people would look funny at both him and you, they would talk things behind both your backs. And that wouldn't be exactly nice.

Hopper slowly nodded, taking a sip from your can. It was very adult of you to demand such a thing as keeping all of it in secret.

"Right. Now's my turn." - Hopper looked at you as Never Surrender by Corey Hart started to play on the TV. At least, there wasn't that awful silence in the room. - "How long is it you're in town? How much time's remainin'?"

"Thirteen days if I count this one." - You mumbled back. So little time to actually have something developing. Thirteen days. He had barely two weeks before you leave for Indiana. And then, when he's going to see you again? On Thanksgiving? Christmas? Jesus, these thoughts were awful.

"Come here." - He mumbled to you as the chorus came and Corey Hart was yelling the words at the top of his lungs. You climbed back on his thighs, visibly sad from the topic. Only thirteen days were all you two were left to have. You closed your eyes when his palms caressed your jaws, thumbs carefully drawing circles on your cheeks. - "If these thirteen days is all you have for me, I swear to you that it's going to be thirteen days you'll never forget."

Slowly, you rose your eyes to meet his gaze. The warmth and sincerity he had there almost melt you down. Hopper was speaking from the bottom of his should and it could be felt.

"For real?" - You asked back when first tears left your eyes. There weren't sad, no, not at all. You couldn't be happier at that moment.

"I mean it. You'll be thinkin' about me long after you leave Hawkins, so much that you'll hate me in the end." - Hopper mumbled and before he could say anything else, you shut him off with a kiss. This time, you didn't let him stop kissing you, while you laid down on the couch.

Every time it seemed that Hopper just really wants to tell you, you grabbed his shirt a bit tighter, used your tongue or whatever the situation needed.

"Hey. Hey. Slow down." - Hopper actually stopped after a good ten minutes of that making out session. You let him go and disappointedly looked at him. You've disappointed yourself. So much for you whoring around. Nervously, you followed his movements and sat, scratching the back of your neck.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?" - Hopper mumbled and lighted up a cigarette. Was he doubting you or himself? You couldn't tell, but you carefully listened to him. - "You once told me that I'm a fuck up. Are you really ready to go down this path?"

You've told him what? That he's a fuck up? Oh, Lord. The night you've blacked out. You always spoke your mind when you had too much to drink. You closed your eyes before taking the Camel out of his hand, taking a long puff before giving it back. Who was he doubting? You or himself? 

"I am. I swear I am." - You nodded and moved a bit closer, touching his knee as your lips kissed the material of his shirt. Jim moved his head closer to let you know that he's enjoying the affection. - “Are you ready for this?” 

At that moment, he needed to take a good look at you. At your face, the small curve of your nose, the bright eyes in your eyes, plush lips kissing his shoulder. He felt your hand drawing circles on his back. You weren't forcing anything - just a word and you would just snuggle back, enjoying the movie with him. Just a word and he could let himself feel safe next to someone that actually understood what he was trying to say. Was he ready to see you leaving once this is over? Will it destroy him completely? Hopper guessed that the only way to be sure is to find out. 

“One never knows.” - Hopper smiled back, tapping the cigarette out. He stood up, giving you his palm and helping you stand up. He turned off the TV and the lights, making sure that only the light in his bedroom is on. You watched him putting the tape in, finding the song youve danced to. 

“Last chance to wiggle out of this situation, Chief.” - You took his hand, giving yourself another slow twirl, just like the last time. Was he ready? Only your smile and eyes made him sure. You were sure - why should he be hesitating? 

So he leaned in for another kiss - and this time, you moaned into his face when he did so.