#does it all perfectly fit canon? not really but self indulgence for the win ✨

[thornheartfelt]

need the crash course of your selfship w rorschach now tell me everything - @selfshipangel

Grabs my self insert, Barghest. Born in England, taken to America as a child by his mother after she met and ultimately wed an American soldier. It did not turn out great. As soon as he turned 18, he gathered up as much as he could and ran away to find a new start in New York City. Not having money, he found one of the cheapest apartments to rent in that he could. That's where he first ended up meeting one Walter Kovacs, as a neighbour.

He's quite an anxious person, shy around new people, and Walter is. Walter. So they didn't talk much at first. Not until a loud argument broke out in the building's hallways and surprisingly the loudest person there was Barghest. Another tenant has a break up go wrong and he happened to be walking back to his apartment, saw red and stepped in. The sudden appearance of another person prompted that tenant's quite nasty, now ex-boyfriend to clear off. It ended with a very shaken, still kind of angry Barghest letting slip to Walter that he couldn't not step in. Not after what he grew up with.

It was the feeling of similar history that got them actually talking more, an unspoken sense of understanding even without any details being immediately dived into. Over time they ended up actually becoming friends. After a few years of Barghest practically living with Walter since he spent a majority of his time at his place, they actually ended up sharing an apartment. "For financial reasons." Definitely not because they'd become unexpectedly attached to each other. Two guys, sitting on a couch, 2 feet apart 'cause they're not gay.

So Barghest and Walter have settled in. Everything's fine, Barghest's not since long celebrated his 23rd birthday. Except not really, because the murder of Kitty Genovese happened. We know what Walter's response to that was. So one time Barghest woke in the middle of the night, got up to get a glass of water and had the shock of his life when he saw this new costumed crime fighter is stood in the middle of his apartment. Especially when he looks up from the mask in his hands and sees that it's Walter all exhausted and kinda beat up after a particularly rough night. Cue the most awkward silence that stretched on for at least a minute straight.

"It's too late for this, not the right time for a conversation. Just... let me help with those injuries." Barghest damn near cries breaking that silence because he's not sure how to feel. He settles somewhere between pride that Walter's got the guts to do what he's been to scared to do, and fear for the safety of the person closest to him. It ends up being the push Barghest needs and that's when he becomes Barghest. He's always tried to help people but always wished to do more and starts putting together a costume of his own.

Barghest is however quite clear that half of his motive is not wanting to see Walter go and get himself hurt too badly, so especially in the beginning he'd start his nights with sticking by Rorschach. They'd started working with the second Nite Owl too, Barghest less so than Rorschach although he still considered Daniel a friend. It was at this point that Barghest and Rorschach increasingly became oddly domestic in the privacy of their home. They effectively were already acting like a somewhat unconventional couple so just... steadily ended up referring to each other as partner. It was up to whoever heard to decide if they meant professionally or romantically. They know who they are to each other, even if both of them can be a little awkward when it comes to verbally expressing it.

Then came the Blaire Roche case, when Rorschach became Rorschach. It was a very, very rough time and it hurt Barghest to see Rorschach hurt so deeply. He tried as best as he could to be a source of support but knew that wouldn't undo what happened. As Rorschach became more closed off to other people, their relationship felt strained at first but ultimately managed to hold strong. Rorschach wasn't a fan of public displays of affection in the first place but was somehow even more reserved about it. When the Keene Act eventually passed, Barghest did continue to occasionally dabble in vigilantism but slowed down due to worries over the legislation and due to lingering issues from old injuries.

Following that, there's the entire events of Watchmen. That's mostly the same except Barghest gets involved. I'm actually not completely settled on the full details of him being there and how it shapes the interactions between him and Rorschach. However, after Rorschach gets broken out of prison Barghest absolutely did not want to be parted from him. Rorschach's tolerance of that clinginess was likely surprising to everyone else, I'd imagine. Probably also to himself. The biggest change is Rorschach does not get turned into the world's most morbid confetti. I do not see it. (From a writer's perspective I LOVE the end of Watchmen, but from the perspective of being in love? Ouch.)