#this got a lot longer than i intended (oops) so under a cut it goes

[thornheartfelt]

need the crash course of your selfship w rorschach now tell me everything - @selfshipangel

Grabs my self insert, Barghest. Born in England, taken to America as a child by his mother after she met and ultimately wed an American soldier. It did not turn out great. As soon as he turned 18, he gathered up as much as he could and ran away to find a new start in New York City. Not having money, he found one of the cheapest apartments to rent in that he could. That's where he first ended up meeting one Walter Kovacs, as a neighbour.

He's quite an anxious person, shy around new people, and Walter is. Walter. So they didn't talk much at first. Not until a loud argument broke out in the building's hallways and surprisingly the loudest person there was Barghest. Another tenant has a break up go wrong and he happened to be walking back to his apartment, saw red and stepped in. The sudden appearance of another person prompted that tenant's quite nasty, now ex-boyfriend to clear off. It ended with a very shaken, still kind of angry Barghest letting slip to Walter that he couldn't not step in. Not after what he grew up with.

It was the feeling of similar history that got them actually talking more, an unspoken sense of understanding even without any details being immediately dived into. Over time they ended up actually becoming friends. After a few years of Barghest practically living with Walter since he spent a majority of his time at his place, they actually ended up sharing an apartment. "For financial reasons." Definitely not because they'd become unexpectedly attached to each other. Two guys, sitting on a couch, 2 feet apart 'cause they're not gay.

So Barghest and Walter have settled in. Everything's fine, Barghest's not since long celebrated his 23rd birthday. Except not really, because the murder of Kitty Genovese happened. We know what Walter's response to that was. So one time Barghest woke in the middle of the night, got up to get a glass of water and had the shock of his life when he saw this new costumed crime fighter is stood in the middle of his apartment. Especially when he looks up from the mask in his hands and sees that it's Walter all exhausted and kinda beat up after a particularly rough night. Cue the most awkward silence that stretched on for at least a minute straight.

"It's too late for this, not the right time for a conversation. Just... let me help with those injuries." Barghest damn near cries breaking that silence because he's not sure how to feel. He settles somewhere between pride that Walter's got the guts to do what he's been to scared to do, and fear for the safety of the person closest to him. It ends up being the push Barghest needs and that's when he becomes Barghest. He's always tried to help people but always wished to do more and starts putting together a costume of his own.

Barghest is however quite clear that half of his motive is not wanting to see Walter go and get himself hurt too badly, so especially in the beginning he'd start his nights with sticking by Rorschach. They'd started working with the second Nite Owl too, Barghest less so than Rorschach although he still considered Daniel a friend. It was at this point that Barghest and Rorschach increasingly became oddly domestic in the privacy of their home. They effectively were already acting like a somewhat unconventional couple so just... steadily ended up referring to each other as partner. It was up to whoever heard to decide if they meant professionally or romantically. They know who they are to each other, even if both of them can be a little awkward when it comes to verbally expressing it.

Then came the Blaire Roche case, when Rorschach became Rorschach. It was a very, very rough time and it hurt Barghest to see Rorschach hurt so deeply. He tried as best as he could to be a source of support but knew that wouldn't undo what happened. As Rorschach became more closed off to other people, their relationship felt strained at first but ultimately managed to hold strong. Rorschach wasn't a fan of public displays of affection in the first place but was somehow even more reserved about it. When the Keene Act eventually passed, Barghest did continue to occasionally dabble in vigilantism but slowed down due to worries over the legislation and due to lingering issues from old injuries.

Following that, there's the entire events of Watchmen. That's mostly the same except Barghest gets involved. I'm actually not completely settled on the full details of him being there and how it shapes the interactions between him and Rorschach. However, after Rorschach gets broken out of prison Barghest absolutely did not want to be parted from him. Rorschach's tolerance of that clinginess was likely surprising to everyone else, I'd imagine. Probably also to himself. The biggest change is Rorschach does not get turned into the world's most morbid confetti. I do not see it. (From a writer's perspective I LOVE the end of Watchmen, but from the perspective of being in love? Ouch.)

[liknws]

can u tell us more about who is what in each band?

sure! I can do that. I'll give a tiny bit of backstory as well but not too much cause I don't want to go and spoil anything. under the cut because it got a little longer than I intended, oops

also I love getting questions like this so if there is anything else you want to ask, my inbox is open! I promise more will be revealed as the story progresses but in the meantime, have some short character information!

in 3RACHA we have:

jisung: rhythm guitarist, sub/backup vocals, song writer, & rapping. goes by the stage name j.one.

chan: song writer, bass guitar, vocals, and keyboard. he goes by the stage name of cb97.

changbin: rapping, vocals, drummer, and occasional keyboard. he performs under the name spearb.

jeongin: newest member, who replaced reader after they left. he's lead vocals and lead guitar. uses the stage name of i.n.

chan, jisung, and changbin have been producing and mixing their own songs for a while now, shortly after reader left the band. their sound, after reader left, is largely early years linkin park with some beastie boys and rage against the machine influences. again, just sound wise not really the exact songs. while reader was still apart of the band, think more paramore and hey monday.

now with ultra violet there's a few more to introduce:

reader/oc: to avoid the 'y/n', they'll be referred to their stage name of red most of the time. they're lead vocals, lead guitar, sometimes keyboard, and violin. they are a song writer as well but they are not credited on any of the band's music at their request. stage name: red.

seungmin: he's the other lead vocals! so seungmin and red share the lead vocals depending on the song or the style that the band wants to put out. stage name: cherry.

felix: rhythm guitarist, occassional backup vocals, and hard vocals (screaming). some of their songs incorporate screaming so felix learned how to do that. stage name: sunshine.

minho: he is the credited song writer of the band! him and red write together but he does most of the writing with other songwriters employed the label. stage name: lino

hyunjin: drummer, backing vocals. he's been jokingly referred to as the "face" of the band during talk show interviews since he likes to be the one to answer the questions the most. stage name: hyune

when red left 3racha they had considered going solo but fell in love with the sound of this indie band called ultra violet. turns out they were looking for another vocalist for a different sound and red decided to audition after taking the time they needed for their personal life. they hit it off and the rest has been history with them joining the band. red used the connections they had from being in 3racha and got ultra violet a meeting with shadow side records. from there is was almost overnight success. their sound is more honey revenge & halestorm & the pretty reckless with some green day and beartooth as well. it's a pretty even split on suengmin and red leading vocals. they do a lot of duets too.

we do have an honorable mention as well!

lily suksi: manager and best friend. lily used to be the manager for 3racha but when red left, she decided to part with them and became red's personal manager. it was with lily's help that red was able to clean up their life and meet ultra violet at all.

[keirangoldenwatch]

6,8,18

Alrighty, wheel of OC's, which of my runs am I talking about.

Aaaaand...it's Tenku'lohi! Excellent.

This ended up way longer than I intended so I stuck it under a cut. xD;; Oops.

6) Are there any NPC’s from the class stories you’d like to see/HC join the Alliance? Ex: Master Timmns, Ardun Kothe, Watcher One, etc

Hmm. To be completely honest, I haven't thought about NPCs joining the Alliance as much as them just showing up again for further plot development. Ardun is dead in Tenku'lohi's run (oops) but seeing him return for a Republic-aligned Agent would be fun, or Shara if they're Imperial-aligned.

The first NPC I thought of those was Keeper (the first Keeper, who I always ended up referring to as "Keeper" even when he go promoted xD;;). Even if Tenku'lohi is technically against him now, she wouldn't mind having him around--he was always as honest with her as he could afford to be, and that meant a lot to her. And I would like to see if he survived the war, but also to see his interactions with his once top cipher, the woman who replaced him (hi Lana), and a former SIS (hi Theron).

(Why are so many members of the Alliance ex-spies.)

8) Are any of your other OC’s part of the Alliance? If yes what do they do for the Alliance? Do they get along with your Commander?

YES! I'm of the mind that all of the PC's are called to Marr's ship at the start of KOTFE--it just depends on who got there first or was on the bridge with Marr when shit went down that decided who ended up the Outlander. So all of them were already involved in this nonsense, and would become part of the Alliance in time. In Tenku'lohi's run, she has most of the other classes working with her. On the Imperial side of things she'd have everyone. On the Republic side, Miyti (JC) would never agree to work with Imperials or Sith, so she's out.

The rest would have joined eventually...

Darth Nox (Seran) was never Acina's biggest fan and Tenku'lohi is her mother, so she would absolutely join up to act as an assassin for her mama (and also to smooch an SIS agent but shh). Darth Praetor, while more respectful of Acina's reign, would never have accepted peace so he would take the first chance to join with people who were still fighting. Plus he has to keep an eye on Vette. He ends up training more Sith out of the Force users who join the Alliance, as well as acting as something of an "evil" military advisor. Tenku'lohi doesn't really trust either of them (even if she does love her daughter) but she appreciates their help all the same. Then she started acting as a saboteur to take the Empire down from the inside and it all gets very complicated.

Meanwhile Vithe (BH) is just here to beat shit up, so long as the credits keep coming in. He's not really here for the cause--save for when he's called to help the Mandalorians--but Tenku'lohi appreciates his brand of blunt, brutal honesty. Of course that all changes drastically after Vaylin kills Torian, and Tenku'lohi never really forgives herself for that... :(

Rezhek was still with Havoc Squad, so she got recruited with Aric and his new team--she's a little reluctant to work with Imperials, but desperate times (and the fact that Tenku'lohi is pure Lightside) smoothed most of her worries. She ends up as the "good" military advisor to Xisath's "evil", replacing Bey'wan (sorry Bey'wan). Tenku'lohi has to apologize to Rezhek personally for a few...things...before they can properly work together, but after that they're fine. It's fine. Really.

Tivvea naturally followed Rezhek and ends up working with Hylo's ring of smuggler--and spends way too much time over who's actually the most famous smuggler in the galaxy. Tenku'lohi wouldn't have as much reason to interact with her, because she's mostly just here for Rez. And to flirt with EVERYONE IN THE ALLIANCE--

Lastly, Jedi Master Khide goes to seek out where the Emperor's spirit went, and it leads him right to Tenku'lohi. Their relationship is the most interesting one. Both of them are as lightside as can be, both are Twi'leks saved from slavery, and both of them know what it's like to have Valkorion (Vi-shit) in their heads. Khide, on top of training Jedi from the Force users who joined the Alliance (and smooching Lana shh), becomes a big help in keeping Tenku'lohi calm and focused. The two grow surprisingly close, although Tenku'lohi hesitates to call him her "friend". But they are.

18) Who’s someone your Commander hopes they never have to deal with again?

is "the entire Empire" too broad? Yes? Then let's narrow it down to the Dark Council and continue to be bitterly disappointed that she can't just run off to the Republic and has to put up with these bastards for who knows how long.

[not-talking-about-pancakes]

Upon a second viewing...

because I felt like I needed to watch the episode again to see how I felt about it and these new characters my thoughts have changed a little. 

Under the cut cause this got longer than I intended. Oops. 

Cinderella/Jacinda I liked a tiiiiinyy bit better, but I’m still not a huge fan. The actress didn’t win me over at SDCC and I’m still not convinced I like her or the character. Her acting isn’t the best. And she might be Henry’s True Love, but I’m just not feeling it with them. I know Adam and Eddie want us to get a Snowing vibe from them, especially with the whole punch to the face at first meeting, but yeah...I’m not feeling it like I did with Snow and Charming. 

I do like Henry. I think Andrew does a wonderful job of embodying what Jared brought to the character. Grown up Henry definitely gives me Charming/Emma vibes, and I am sort of curious to see how he got to the point that he’s currently at. 

Lady Tremaine/Victora Belfrey, at least for this first episode, is not wowing me as villain. She’s just basically Miranda Preistly, and while she might fire me because I wore last seasons Louboutin’s, I’m just...meh. With Regina and Rumple, we knew from the beginning they were the villains, but I was pulled in by their story, I wanted to know more, and I love to hate them. Regina of course, eventually got her redemption, and Rumple...well, that’s the beauty of Rumple. You just never really know. This actress too kind of annoys me, I didn’t like her on The Tudor’s either. I partly blamed that on the character she was playing, but I’m seeing some of the same things I didn’t like about her on that show come through and I think it’s gonna bug me. 

Roni(Regina)- is fine. I was neutral on Regina towards the end of the last few seasons. I don’t hate her like some people, but she’s not the reason I watch the show. It could be fun to see where her character goes. 

Rumple/Detective Weaver is obviously the bad cop. I’m already questioning if, in typical Rumple fashion, he’s just playing along and really knows what’s going on. I think his dynamic with Officer, now Detective Rogers, will be interesting. 

Officer/Detective Rodgers is obviously a little bit Lieutenant Jones. He wants to do good, and that obviously going to be at odds with how Detective Weaver operates.  I think it’s gonna be a sort of Sorcerer's Apprentice all over again. But without Emma to help realize something is wrong I don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe Henry will take over that roll. 

I am definitely interested in Alice. She grabbed my attention at once, and I’m very interested to see where her story goes. Tianna as well, because I adore The Princess and the Frog. It’s such an underrated movie, and her at ball turning away the frog legs (which somehow I didn’t catch the first time) was fantastic. I want more of her too. 

Lucy is okay. She’s cute, and I like the mirroring of Henry appearing at Emma’s door in S1. Their scene in his apartment had some similarities. And she’s clearly just as determined as Henry was to convince her dad he’s who he is. (If she read his book though, she ought to know it’s not that easy.) I’m looking forward to more interactions between her and Henry and especially her and Hook.   

So, we’ll see. I may end up giving it a few more episodes than I’d originally thought I would because some of the newer characters have pulled me in more than I thought they would. But, after seeing the promo I’m a bit worried about CS/Emma. After the sneak peek I was on team ‘It’s all gonna be okay. This is going to work out somehow.’ But then the promo with the two Hooks, and it seeming like Emma is in some kind of danger and maybe she’s gonna end up with a different of Hook and that’s how they are going to appease the CS fans...I’m back on team, ‘I don’t know.’ 

I know there are CSers who watch for various reasons. Be it they are just fans of Emma, just fans of Killian or they like the CS relationship. I do like Killian, a lot, and I love them together. But I’m on Team Emma. I started watching the show because I’m a sucker for anything to do with fairy tales, but Emma is the reason I kept watching for six seasons. Her story, going from a ‘lost girl who didn’t matter and didn’t think she would’ to finding her family, believing in them and finding love was what made the show for me. And while I think following Henry’s story is the next logical journey for this show, it’s hard to picture him living this life and fighting back without her. I think I’m going to be an emotional wreck next week...but we’ll see. 

[whatdoyouexpectthistime]

A Bit of Everything: Goto Goes to the Gala

“There’s only one thing I like you in better than this uniform,” Miho mused as she straightened Goto’s tie and smoothed her hands down his chest.

“What’s that?” he asked, offering her one arm, before holding the keys out to the valet with the other.

“Me,” she replied in so flippant a tone, it actually took a few seconds for it to register.

As a blush, as per usual when she said inappropriate things, especially in public.

“Is there any point in me asking you to behave tonight?” he exhaled, nodding to another officer and his date as they entered through the doors of the hotel.

“None at all,” she admitted with a grin, squeezing his arm. “But considering this is the first time I’ll get to meet your colleagues, I’ll do my utmost to avoid embarrassing you.”

“How very considerate,” he muttered, but he didn’t sound at all upset.

He, she, and the other couple stepped into the elevator, clearly on their way to the same event, and the doors had begun to close when a yell from the foyer caused Goto to groan.

“Hold the lift!” came a shout, and then pounding of hurried feet.

“Uh no,” Goto muttered under his breath, and leaned to press against the ‘close doors’ button.

Unfortunately for him, the energetic individual sprinting for the elevator managed to slide in at the very last second, his uniform indicating he was also an officer of the same rank as Goto.

Miho did not miss the way her fiancé’s face suddenly soured, and this only increased her interest in the man.

“Are you a colleague of Lieutenant Goto?” she enquired of the man, who smiled at her broadly like she’d asked about his favourite subject in the entire universe.

“That’s…” Goto began, actually putting himself between Miho and the other man, earning the three of them an interesting look from the other pair riding upward in the lift.

“Yes, it is my privilege,” the officer asserted, leaning around Goto a little to grin. “Though he acts a little cold, he’s really a very good friend. Lieutenant Kurusawa Toru,” he added, thrusting his hand toward her.

Miho met it before Goto could intercept, and before Miho had the chance to introduce herself, Kurosawa had turned her left hand over and stared from it, to Goto.

“Oops,” Miho chuckled quietly.

“Is your date already spoken for?” Kurosawa blinked, admonishment on the tip of his tongue – but then, with the widening of his eyes, he reached the more logical conclusion. “Goto? Is she…?”

“You’re far too noisy,” Goto grumbled, prying Kurosawa’s fingers away from Miho’s and providing a more satisfactory buffer, just as the elevator reached its destination.

Tucking Miho’s arm under his, Goto guided her out of the elevator, pretending – it seemed – that Kurosawa did not exist.

“Fujiwara Miho,” Miho chirped, looking back over her shoulder, her head swivelling as Kurosawa came up on her other side.

“Remember what you said earlier?” Goto sighed.

“I’m sure this isn’t how you imagined it, Seiji,” she replied softly, “but it’s a little hurtful to hear you think having your friends know about us is embarrassing.”

“He’s not my fr…”

“So it’s true?” Kurosawa blurted, nearly falling over himself to get in front of them. “You’re really, engaged? You’re getting married?”

“So noisy,” Goto complained, then stopped walking so Kurosawa didn’t trip and take out other couples walking toward the ballroom. “Yes. It’s true, Miss Fujiwara and I are engaged to be married, but just keep a lid on it unt…”

“That’s wonderful!” Kurosawa exclaimed, his face filled with genuine joy.

When he tried to clasp Miho’s hand again, however, Goto’s face darkened.

“What’s wonderful?” another voice joined them, and a slightly older man running a finger around the inside of his collar uncomfortably, joined them in the corridor.

“Chief!” Kurosawa bounced, and Miho thought he looked very much like a Jack Russell puppy.  “Did you kn…!”

At that point, Goto released Miho in order to slap his hand over Kurosawa’s mouth, and Miho had to laugh.

“And here I was thinking this whole law enforcement gala thing was going to be stuffy and boring,” she beamed, and Goto sent her a pleading look. “Okay, fine.”

“Just keep your mouth shut for a little longer?” Goto entreated of the man in his grasp.

“Getting on as well as ever,” Namba smirked, digging his hands into his pants pockets and strolling past them.

When he’d entered the ballroom, Goto released his counterpart, who honestly looked none the less enthused.

“Congratulations Miss Fujiwara,” he grinned broadly. “Goto’s an exemplary officer and an even better man.”

“I can believe that,” Miho smiled, as Goto placed her hand on his arm again.

“Come on Miho,” Goto encouraged, and they began walking again… with Kurosawa in step.

“So cute!” he gushed. “I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend; how mean to keep such a beautiful creature from us, and with such a lovely name, Miho.”

“Miss Fujiwara to you,” Goto corrected, and Miho patted his arm.

“And where is your date, Kurosawa?” Goto questioned, striding through the open double doors to pause at the seating plan.

“Umm….” Kurosawa stalled, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I heard,” a new voice chimed in from behind them, and Miho glanced beyond Kurosawa to a tall man with somewhat shaggy brown hair, and a much shorter one with what Miho would definitely call a blond bowl-cut, “she got a better offer.”

“I heard he, got a better offer,” the blond man put in, and Miho actually felt bad for poor Kurosawa.

“Now now, be nice,” she chided, despite knowing neither man.

Instantly Kurosawa perked up attempted to put his arm around Miho’s shoulder in a chummy fashion, but Goto was quick to pull her away from his grasp. The impact of this, was to draw the stares of the two knew figures.

“This is definitely the first time I’ve been told off by a woman whose name I don’t even know,” the brunette frowned, studying Miho intensely.

“This is Fujiwara Miho,” Kurosawa declared, and opened his mouth to continue when Miho interrupted with as much of a bow as she could manage with Goto’s arm around her still.

“Pleased to meet you,” she smiled and straightened.

“This is Captain Kaga Hyogo, and Lieutenant Shinonome Ayumu,” Goto introduced, before Kurosawa could open his mouth again.

“And where are your dates gentlemen?” Miho queried lightly, looking between the two, and Kaga leaned just a fraction closer, before looking at Goto. “I’m sorry,” Miho apologised, but she was still smiling flawlessly, “no doubt they’re having a lovely time with whomever it was Lieutenant Kurosawa intended to bring.”

“I’m in love!” Kurosawa exclaimed.

“No you’re not,” Goto snapped, and Kaga frowned.

“When did Goto get a girlfriend?”

“She’s not hi…” Kurosawa began, but Miho looked to him.

“Lieutenant Kurosawa, I would absolutely love some champagne,” she interrupted.

“Of course, of course,” he nodded furiously. “It’s not as if Goto could leave you side, some opportunistic underling might whisk you away.”

“Not if they wanted to live out the night,” she grinned, and offered him a wink.

Shinonome and Kaga remained just watching in silence.

“Oh I never would have guessed Goto the jealous type,” Kurosawa nodded thoughtfully.

“I don’t need to be,” Goto responded, finally managing a small smile of his own. “She’s the one you’d really have to worry about.”

For that, Goto was granted Miho’s elbow in his ribs, and Kurosawa made googley-eyes at them.

“So cute!”

“Shut up Kurosawa,” Goto growled, giving him a glare, and Kurosawa scuttled away, only to be replaced by another officer: tall and lean, and wearing glasses, with a pretty blue-eyed woman on his arm.

Miho recognised them both and smiled broadly.

“Good evening Captain Ishigami, Miss Starling,” she greeted cheerfully.

And both Goto and Ishigami straightened when they made eye contact.

Poised to reciprocate, Ishigami opened his mouth, but what sounded around the ballroom what the shrill cry of sound system feedback, and then Kurosawa.

The men around Miho let out a sigh in unison.

“We all know why we’re here tonight,” Kurosawa announced.

“Who let that idiot get to the mic?” Kaga scowled.

“But before we get to that, I just need to congratulate…” Kurosawa continued, and Miho felt Goto tense.

“Dear god…” he muttered.

“… because my good friend, Lieutenant Goto is getting married to the loveliest…”

Whatever he said after that, Goto didn’t hear. The burning of his cheeks caused temporary deafness. Meanwhile, Ishigami was staring at his subordinate, then slowly, adjusting his glasses as he did, slid his gaze to Miho.

“To you, Miss Fujiwara?” he asked, barely audible amid the roar of applause.

“That’s the rumour,” Miho chuckled, then Goto focused back in.

“Wait, Captain – you know Miss Fujiwara?” he blinked, and when Ishigami’s cheeks coloured a little, Goto looked absolutely horrified. “No… did you…?”

It was then the woman on Ishigami’s arm spoke a similar thought.

“Hideki, did you and… Miss Fujiwara…?” she questioned.

“How very incestuous,” Miho laughed just under her breath, and luckily only Goto heard her.

“You… you…?”

Meanwhile, Kaga and Shinonome had absolutely no idea what is going on.

“Relax,” Miho smiled, giving Goto’s arm a squeeze. “In answer to all questions, no, though you know confidentiality prevents me from disclosing further details.”

This was enough, however, to get both Goto, and Ishigami’s partner to relax, though the Captain himself still seemed uptight.

“Congratulations on your own engagement, Captain, Miss Starling,” Miho then smiled. “I do love a happy ending.”

“Liana, please,” the so named Miss Liana Starling responded. “And well, we owe, and continue to owe, you a lot.”

“I hate being out of the loop,” Kaga grated, glaring at Ishigami. “What have you gotten yourself into this time you four-eyed gimp?”

“That is, of course, none of your business,” Ishigami told him calmly, just as Kurosawa returned with a tray of champagne.

“Everyone take a glass!” he instructed, and Goto looked at him flatly.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Kurosawa cowered dramatically. “Two of my favourite people are getting married, so we have to celebrate.”

“What, the actual hell?” came a voice familiar to both Miho and Goto.

This time, Miho cringed inwardly a little.

“When were you going to tell me you were getting married, Pajamas?” Subaru growled. “Jesus, they don’t mess around – who’d they…?”

Then Miho turned slowly to smile at him brightly.

“Good evening Lieutenant Ichiyanagi,” she greeted with a cheeky wink. “Not working this evening?

“You, Miss Fujiwara?” he blurted, and this caused the other officers, Ishigami most of all, to scrutinise the trio.

“Would you believe I’ve never had this happen before?” she chuckled, but Subaru now had eyes only for Goto.

“Don’t you dare say anything Rosemary,” Goto glowered, his voice warning.

“I don’t know where this train wreck originated,” Kaga smirked, nudging Shinonome lightly before pointing at Ishigami, “but look at the expression on this moron.”

“Pardon me?” Ishigami frowned ever so slightly.

“Don’t think I can,” Kaga snickered, then rolled his eyes when Kurosawa shoved the tray toward him. “As if anyone would want to marry that anally retentive twit.”

At this, Liana ruffled.

“That’s rich coming from a man going stag,” she snapped sharply, taking a step toward him and drawing Miho’s attention away from where Subaru and Goto were bickering.

“Perhaps Captain Kaga could use a referral?” Miho put in, and Liana sniffed – an indignant sound.

“I wouldn’t want to inflict him on you,” she declared, and before Kaga could retaliate, Ishigami had lightly taken up Liana’s hand and placed in on his arm.

“It seems I have inflicted him upon you,” he said apologetically. “Perhaps we should find our table?”

“Definitely,” Liana nodded, allowing herself to be led away, leaving Miho in Kaga and Kurosawa’s company.

“Could it be, Miss Fujiwara, that Goto and Ichiyanagi were love rivals for your affections?” Kurosawa asked, and Miho really had to bite her tongue.

Legalities aside, it wasn’t like she could just out and say she’d fucked them both, in all sorts of places.

“How romantic!” he exclaimed, his expression swoony. “Oh but what will happen now?”

“I imagine they’ll draw swords and fight to the death for my hand,” Miho responded seriously.

“That would be terribly exciting,” Kurosawa agreed enthusiastically, when Subaru turned to them and pointed at Subaru.

“Miho, tell him I proposed to you first,” he demanded.

“What a circus,” Kaga said, shaking his head and wandering off with Shinonome in tow.

“If you want to get technical,” Miho began, well aware it was now just she, Subaru, Goto and… Kurosawa in their conversation, “I proposed to Seiji first.”

Kurosawa gasped.

“But it’s a moot point,” Miho continued, “since you don’t love me, and he does.”

“Daaaw,” Kurosawa gushed, attaching himself to Miho’s arm and hugging it tightly.

“Get off my wife,” Goto growled, making such a scary face, Kurosawa scurried in behind Miho like she’d protect him. “And you,” he went on, turning his gaze to Subaru. “She’s mine, so all you can do now is be my best man.”

“What about me?” Kurosawa pouted from around Miho’s shoulder.

“Flower girl?” Subaru offered, and Kurosawa slumped a little. “You do realise the best man gets to make speech right?” he added.

“Well that could be interesting,” Miho chortled, but Goto frowned at him seriously.

“Don’t encourage him,” he grumbled. “I don’t want to regret this.”

Kurosawa sighed.

“I suppose I should just revel in the happiness you have found,” he sighed.

“You don’t want to be flower girl?” Subaru huffed. “I’m going to need to know, Kurosawa, because as best man it’s my job to…”

Stifling a giggle, Miho looked to Goto, and found him shaking his head.

“I now imagine Subaru fighting Jazz for control over wedding planning,” Miho whispered, reattaching herself to Goto’s arm.

“Maybe asking him to be best man was a bad idea,” he murmured as she gave him a squeeze.

“Of course not,” she smiled. “You fight like cats and dogs, but you’re best friends – sort of like Jazz and Selina and I, I suppose; but you’ve known him much longer.”

“I have,” Goto agreed, hedging them away from where Subaru and Kurosawa continued their animated discussion about how the wedding should play out, “but…”

“But it bothers you I slept with him,” Miho filled in, smiling at the people they passed on their way to their table.

“Yes,” he admitted, looking down like it was something to be ashamed of.

“I didn’t choose you over him, Seiji,” Miho told him, close, for her ears only. “That would suggest Ichiyanagi was ever a contender, and he wasn’t. Work was work, and now, both Jazz and I have interns to do the parts we no longer have a taste for.”

She stopped him before they reached their table and turned to him, gently taking hold of his lapels.

“I love you, Lieutenant,” she told him clearly, but stopped short of kissing him – even though she really really wanted to.

In addition to her earnest words, there were a lot of people now looking at them – she didn’t care, but she wondered if Goto’s cheeks would ever recover.

“Okay okay,” she chuckled. “Let’s just sit down.”

 The table provided very little refuge, as both Kaga and Ishigami’s teams were seated together. With Soma and his date also in the mix, it was an amusing jig – for Miho anyway – explaining their relationship without breeching any of the terms of confidentiality agreements. Goto might not have agreed.

Moments of respite were provided by lengthy speeches and food, but Kurosawa, Miho learned, was like a dog with a bone. He wanted to know everything, in vivid detail, including some things that made even Miho blush.

Eventually, when all the formalities were done, partners took to the dance floor and the lights dimmed – Goto took Miho in his arms, and Miho winked over at Liana as Ishigami did the same with her.

“I thought we’d never escape him,” Goto muttered against the side of Miho’s face.

“Oh come on, I think he’s just somewhat besotted with you,” Miho chuckled quietly, her fingers lightly stroking against his shoulder where her hand was resting. “Perhaps I should be jealous.”

“Of that idiot?” Goto huffed grumpily, and Miho squeezed his hand with her other as they slowly meandered around the dancefloor.

“Of anyone who gets to spend more time with you than I do,” she told him matter-of-factly.

“Believe me, if I could be infiltrating drug dens with you, I…” he said, then changed what he was about to say. “Actually, I wouldn’t want you there either.”

“And I don’t really want you there,” she sighed, looking into his face before resting her forehead against his. “But, I’m told you’re very good at what you do.”

“Which,” he murmured, the world around them blurred out, leaving just the two of them in focus, “somehow reminds me of the conversation we had the other day.”

“Was it a dirty one?” Miho grinned, eyes wandering from his eyes down to his lips.

“Funnily enough, no,” he laughed, watching her debate just how far she could go in public. “The baby talk.”

“Ah, well it could have been dirty,” she smirked, the hand on his shoulder sliding across to rest against his neck. “I mean, we’re getting in a whole lot of practice.”

“Miho, I would love to have children with you,” he stated, and Miho’s mirth tangled around her ankles.

Luckily, Goto’s reflexes were on point, and he kept them both upright until she found her feet again.

“Let me finish before you go into panic mode,” he smiled gently. “I would love to have children with you, but, I need you, and if that means no kids, then I will be absolutely, regret free and content, just to be by your side for the rest of my life.”

And Miho stopped dancing, frowning as she inhaled, but Goto continued to smile because he knew this was just her attempting to cope with happiness.

Then she kissed him, unabashed, full force, hands gripping the back of his head and refusing to let him go until they were both breathless.

“Sorry,” she murmured, her peripheral vision revealing they had become somewhat of a spectacle.

“Young people these days,” Namba smirked, as he and his dance partner swirled nearby.

“You don’t know how old I am, Chief,” Miho responded with a wink. “I might even be older than you.”

“You’re not that old,” Goto disagreed, finally fighting free of his stupor.

“Jeez, I thought women were supposed to have a softening effect on a man?” Namba dropped with exaggerated hurt.

“Not that woman,” Subaru put in, having walked out onto the dancefloor to intercept Miho and Goto. “Mind if I cut in?”

“Yes,” Goto replied instantly.

“Oh come on, you won,” Subaru argued, then pointed through the sea of people. “Ishigami seems happy enough for his fiancée to dance with another man.”

Sure enough, through the bodies they caught glimpses of Liana laughing and dancing with Kurosawa.

“Hmm,” Goto grumbled. “If Ishigami…”

“Right,” Subaru grinned, and jerked Miho out of Goto’s arms.

“Hey, if you’re going to be rough…” Goto protested.

“I’ll always come back to you,” Miho smiled, a smile that then became a whole lot cheekier. “Do I need to kiss you again to convince you?”

“I don’t think his face can get any redder,” Subaru teased, and in response, Goto took the initiative.

And kissed her first, just lightly – no aggression or possessiveness, though obviously it was a statement of the latter.

“Well… uhh,” Miho exhaled when he let her go.

“Behave yourself, Rosemary,” Goto instructed curtly, giving him a stern look before letting Miho go.

“You know, I distinctly recall you telling me getting cosy with a client was not allowed,” Subaru pointed out, watching Goto cross the floor to sit with Ishigami.

“And I remember, you getting on my case for sleeping with random men for their happiness,” she countered, as they began to move to the music.

“But Goto? Are you sure?” he questioned. “You’re pretty adventurous from what I’ve seen and felt, and Mr. Pinstripes is so straight laced.”

“It’s funny how things work out,” Miho smiled, a dreamy smile covering some particularly wicked thoughts.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised,” he sighed. “After all, you did call his name while I was fu…”

“Mmhm,” Miho interrupted by clearing her throat. “Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, losing to him is pretty galling,” he sniffed, clearly feigning the depth of his hurt. “Honestly, you were thinking about him the whole time?”

“Honestly?” she mused. “Not all the time.”

For a moment, Miho closed her eyes, and Subaru’s grip on her tightened a little when she shuddered at the vividness of the memory.

“Jeez, you’re thinking about it now?” Subaru chided.

“You brought it up!” she protested. “Best you just forget what we did, and focus on the matches I’ve already given you.”

“What if you’re as stuck in my head as you are in his?” he asked, and they both looked over at Goto, who frowned, no doubt wondering what they were talking about.

“Then you’re shit out of luck,” Miho answered with a grin. “But as a consolation prize, I will find you the perfect woman, someone who likes… whipped cream.”

The song stopped, and Goto was on his feet and heading to them toward them.

“Here to overwrite all the places I’ve touched her?” Subaru goaded as he released Miho and drifting back into Goto’s arms.

“Oh, I already did that,” Goto assured, but this only spurred Subaru on.

“All the places?” he challenged, but Goto refused to back down.

“Don’t be such a sore loser, Rosemary,” he lobbed.

“I’m not the sore one,” Subaru chuckled, “so you should stop worrying and just be happy.”

“I am happy,” Goto grumbled, and Miho gave his arm a squeeze.

 Kurosawa would not relent until Miho had danced with him, and after that, Miho and Goto made their escape.

In the car, he was quiet, and Miho left him to it considering all that had happened – and maybe she shouldn’t have worn the ring that ultimately gave them away.

He hovered closely behind her as she unlocked her apartment door, but the moment it clicked closed behind them, Miho found herself pushed up against the foyer wall.

“I’ve watched other men hold you all night,” he declared in a deep rumble.

“Three, Seiji,” Miho responded, wrapping her arms around his neck. “And one of them was your boss.”

“Still a man,” he pointed out, throwing his jacket off and dragging his tie away. “And you look… in that dress… it’s been torture all night.”

“How can I make you feel better?” she asked, but she had already pulled away his belt and dropped it to the tiles.

His answer was to kiss her with such need, with such incredible vehemence, Miho’s mind nearly blanked like a Voltage MC.

When his pants joined his belt, Miho attempted to reach the zipper of her dress, but he caught her wrist.

“Leave it on,” he told her huskily, tickling her ear with his desire.

“Kinky,” Miho grinned, slinky material gathering in Goto’s other hand, pulling it up over her thigh. “After the park, I think we may just have found your thing.”

“If you don’t know where my thing is by now, Miho,” he huffed, guiding the hand of the wrist he held to the front of his pants, “there is something very wrong with you.”

“Smartass,” she laughed, slithering her fingers into his underwear. “You want me to torture you some more?”

“Tonight I won’t let you,” he growled, pressing her back solidly, trapping her hand around his cock and their bodies. “You going to fight me?”

“No Sir,” she grinned against his lips. “Take me anyway you want me.”

“Anyway?” he sought in clarification, and Miho raised an eyebrow.

“My limits are pretty few, and you know what they are,” she told him, struggling to squirm her fingers against him. “So, don’t ask, just do.”

Even in the darkness she could see his eyes shining with both affection at her trust in him, and the prickling of his lustful appetite for her.

With a jerk he dragged her out of the foyer and into the living room, where Miho found herself folded over the back of her couch.

“Oooh I like this,” Miho grinned, bracing herself as best she could, while Goto slid his hands from her ankles all the way up to her panties, pulling up the skirt of her evening gown as he went. “A little passive, but… ohh, I’m not going to complain if you’re going to do thaaa…”

That, was Goto’s thumbs parting her cheeks and his tongue making a slow upward slither through her folds, all the way to her asshole.

“And to think,” Miho whimpered, her legs already trembling, “Jazz wanted to sleep on this couch. Fuu…”

Leaning forward, Miho bit down on the nearest thing within her reach, tucking the large Domo plushie beneath her chin and sinking her teeth into the top of its head when Goto thrust several fingers into her moist opening. It muffled her moaning a little, but when the curl of his reach within her was joined by the rub of his other hand against her clit, and the foreshadowing swirl of his tongue around her sphincter, her approval was all sorts of evident.

“Why didn’t you lead with this?” she panted, her whole body moving back and forth against the couch that scraped a little against the floorboards. “Awhh… yesss, teeth,” she added as he scraped his teeth down her right cheek.

“You’re making a mess of the floor,” he noted, and though she was the one on the receiving end of pleasure, his voice was gravelly and his breathing short.

“Aww, it’s only going to get worse, if you keep tha… tha…” she coughed out before burying her face in Domo again, screaming her orgasm into the top of its head without any other mitigation.

Goto held his mouth over her as she shuddered and gushed, until her shaking subsided into breathy sobs.

“I love you, so, much,” she gasped, her body awash with dreamy heat.

Gently, Goto slipped his arm around her middle and drew her back against him, kissing the salt from her neck and rubbing between her cheeks with the full extreme of his yearning for her.

“You planning to put that somewhere dirty?” Miho hissed, rotating her hips, pushing them back against him as he took one still covered breast and squeezed it firmly.

“No part of you is dirty,” he whispered, biting down on her earlobe until she craned her neck so far he could kiss her mouth.

“Mhmm only you’d say that,” she chuckled, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and dragging it away as he bent her forward a little once more.

“I’m the only one who matters,” he rasped against her shoulder, slicking his erection over her clit, all the way between her legs until he’s settled his head against her rear entrance.

“Yes, yes you are,” she grinned, closing her eyes and relaxing as he pushed slowly forward.

The sound Goto made, a reverberating gratification as he inched into her, surprised even him, and for a second he paused.

Biting her lip, Miho tensed, squeezing tightly around the sensation of being filled by him in a new way, stretched to a fine edge of pain – for though perhaps bit quite as lengthy as Subaru, Goto was by far superior in girth.

“Please,” she begged, pushing back against him more firmly, “don’t stop.”

“I just…” he muttered, ragged as he leaned forward and pressed his chest to her back, hooking one arm diagonally between her breasts and gripping her shoulder, his other hand, strong digits, settling over the throbbing desperation of her inflamed nub. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she whispered thickly.

Miho drew her pelvis toward the couch, sliding him out of her, deliberately, deliciously, and his response was probably more of a reflex than a conscious decision – but this time, his forward motion was unreserved, swift, and the slap of him buried completely sounded in tandem with Miho’s appreciative exclamation.

“Yes! Oh god, yes, Seiji,” she encouraged, but the energy she’d implored from him stole much of the volume from her voice, trapping it within the burning of her lungs, and heavily mitigated by the will required to keep her legs from buckling under Goto’s vigorous penetrations.

“Ghnn…” he growled against the back of her neck, flicking over her clit sporadically as he ploughed into her with greater ferocity.

“Don’t hold back,” she panted, desperately clinging to the couch. “I want to hear… I want to… growl into me…”

With eyes clenched shut, Miho pictured the two of them, peering down at their interconnected bodies like a perverse voyeur. Their flushed skin was sheathed in a bright sheen of sweat, even in the low light illuminating the taut of Goto’s back muscles, and the strain of his arms and shoulders as he brought their bodies together again and again. Each time they met, she was forced to the very tips of her toes, and though in her mind’s eye her face was an ugly crush of eye-watering, jaw tensing, and breathless exertion, the heightening song in her flesh told her she was well and truly prisoner to the libidinous ministrations of her future husband.

“Sei…”

Before she could bark out the second syllable, Goto roared a snarling, animalistic assertion of warning, just before he came so hard he crushed all remaining air from Miho’s body. As he filled her, successive thrusts that scorched a fire hotter still, Miho released the couch and clung to Goto’s arm, digging in her nails.

“Please don’t…” she squeaked, but she needn’t have even sparked the thought, for the Goto did not cease the fervent kneading of her clit or his rolling plunge, until Miho wept out her own quivering ecstasy.

Heaving in great breaths, twitching and still interlocked, Goto eased them back onto the floor, curling himself around Miho and burying his face in her neck. There he whispered her name like Miho had never heard it before – not even with her first husband.

“Is there anything you’re not good at?” Miho questioned quietly, tangling their legs together.

“Letting you go?” he offered hoarsely, smoothing moist hair from her face and kissing behind her ear.

“Such a, terrible flaw,” she chuckled, smoothing her palms up his arm. “Still, you have to work tomorrow and…”

“You’re going to use work as an excuse to escape?” he murmured.

“I’m using work as an excuse to take this to the bathroom, Mr. Goto,” she replied, smirking though he couldn’t see, “in the hopes also, of saving this very expensive gown.”

“Right,” he chuffed, rolling her up and across his lap, before rising to his feet with her cradled in his arms.

“So glad I have floorboards,” Miho snickered as he carried her to the bathroom.

“We’ll clean up later,” Goto told her, placing her down on the tiles and turning on the shower for them.

The room flooded with steam as Miho shimmied from her gown, but for what she’d said before, she was quick to just cast it aside haphazardly and shove Goto back under the water stream. Soaking them both.

“I could do this with you all night,” she breathed against his lips, pecking softly.

“Just the night?” he smiled, following her curves with broad palms.

“What’d they feed you Public Safety guys?” she grinned when he pressed her back against the cold tiles, and she let out a yelp.

By the time they had finished there, towelled off and crawled into bed, the both of them were exhausted. Lying against Goto’s chest, Miho felt such a profound sense of contentment that actually made her feel a little weepy.

“Hey, what’s up?” Goto asked softly.

“I’m happy,” she whispered, interlacing their fingers. “And despite the unorthodox way your colleague announced our engagement, it feels… more real now. All we need now is…”

“… to introduce you to my family,” he finished, giving her a squeeze.

“You nervous about that?” she asked.

“No. You?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, her cheek against his peck. “So, how’d you meet my son? Oh, I was trying to find him a wife, and part of my business was to screw him to evaluate his sexual prowess and well, after fucking Seiji, there was just no way I could ever touch anyone else.”

This caused Goto to start coughing, and Miho to laugh.

“That might kill Dad, but Mum would probably want details,” he muttered.

He didn’t ask about her family again – they’d already talked about it briefly and he understood she was no longer in contact with her parents. She felt they had abandoned her when she needed them most, and they’d thought she had put them in unnecessary danger – it was ugly, and Goto didn’t want to stir a hornets’ nest.

“If I can convince Ishigami to give me a couple of days soon, we can go,” he told her, kissing her cheek. “I’m sure they’ll love you.”

“I hope so,” she mused, then let out a yawn before snuggling even closer.

“They will,” he assured her lovingly.

 @hifftn @smile-smile-ichthys @nitelotus @smutmylifeup @belxsar

[worldsentwined]

The World Carries On Without You

I decided to try writing a short ficlet based on one of the song prompts for the @womenofssss FemFeb Music Box Challenge. It...isn’t as short as I intended, oops! Features Ensi Hotakainen and my Icelandic mage OC from this fic. Based on the song Last of Days by A Fine Frenzy. (Warning for Extreme Angst, but that’s it).

From the files of Rúna Snorradóttir: Explorer, Historical Researcher, and Student of Modern Anthropology

Year 30 Finland Expedition - Private Journal

The ship docked in Pori without incident. Which is good, from a logical standpoint. No complications, so I can get to the next ship on time, and on my way home as scheduled. But part of me does not wish to be logical, so I’m spending my last evening in Finland sulking in my rented room, willing myself to fall asleep faster. She would roll her eyes if she saw me like this. But she’s not here to see.

The path to Ensi’s haven is a little longer tonight. Not by much; she can still reach it easily. But it sends a shiver of worry through Rúna’s stomach. She doesn’t want to think about distance, or how reckless her plan is. She has the power to walk in dreams; why shouldn’t she use it? The gods blessed her for a reason.

All the same, Ensi’s face is set in a stubborn frown when she finds her waiting.

“I thought we said goodbye this morning.”

Rúna steps forward, reaching up to cup Ensi’s cheek. “I wasn’t ready to let you go just yet.”

Ensi allows the kiss, allows what follows. But she doesn’t let the subject drop. Rúna has learned, over their months spent together, that Ensi never loses arguments. She just sets them aside, bides her time until she can deliver the winning blow.

“You shouldn’t do this again,” she says, just before Rúna wakes. Rúna smiles.

“I don’t think you can stop me.”

And Rúna doesn’t stop, even as her body travels farther from Finland with every night. Dream-walking while aboard a ship is a greater risk, and once or twice she has to turn back when a sea-beast comes between her and her destination. Every time she succeeds, Ensi glowers, but she stops lecturing.  Rúna knows that means nothing, but she doesn’t care. She takes every moment she can get, refusing to waste their precious time with fights. 

She makes it home, the familiar rocks and hills that match her haven rising to greet her. She organizes her research, gives lectures, makes a passionate case for funding - there is always more to study, more to learn. She begins to write a paper on long-distance dream-walking. She spends her nights gathering more data.

One night, she arrives at Ensi’s haven, and Ensi isn’t there. Rúna waits, pacing the wooden boards, trying to reason away her worry. When Ensi shows up at last, Rúna’s time is nearly up.

“Where have you been!” She can’t help herself; she throws her arms around Ensi, pulling her close. It’s too sudden, and Ensi stiffens, refuses to speak until Rúna eases her grip. “I was worried, Ensi.”

Ensi shrugs. “I was awake. Took a new job; they want me as a night scout.”

“A night scout? But that’s - our schedules won’t be the same! When will I see you?” Under her words lie others that she doesn’t say: How could you do this? How could you make this decision without talking to me? It isn’t fair, but Rúna doesn’t care about that right now.

From the way Ensi stares at her, it seems she’s probably guessed at what Rúna didn’t say. “I don’t have to consult you before I make decisions, Rúna. You aren’t employing me anymore.” The words cut deep, knife-sharp, as they were meant to. But Rúna is no stranger to wounds.

“I’m not asking as your boss, Ensi. Don’t try to pretend that’s all I ever was.”

Ensi doesn’t. She’s good at keeping secrets, but she never lies. So when she says, “I’m doing this, Rúna. You can’t stop me,” Rúna believes her.

Rúna manages to stay away for nearly a month. She tells herself it’s for her own good; no point in braving the dream sea if she’s only going to see Ensi for a short time. But eventually she stops lying to herself, and her loneliness outweighs her desire to punish Ensi. She goes back. They pick up where they left off - warier, and strained, but better than nothing. The hours they spend together are too short.

“Once a month,” Ensi says. She looks tired, and Rúna knows she’s been having a lot of hard nights. Her own nights, waiting for Ensi, haven’t been easy either. So at first, she doesn’t understand.

“What?” 

Ensi sighs, tries again. “We can’t keep doing this every night, Rúna. It’s not practical. It’s not safe for you. It’s a miracle nothing has happened to you yet. I think...we should see each other less. Once a month. I have a day off, I can sleep late. Spend some real time with you, instead of...this.”

“You want to spend real time together, so you’re saying you want to see me less? How does that even make sense?” Rúna is hurt, and Ensi knows it, but she doesn’t back down.

“I won’t come here again unless you promise. One month from today, Rúna. I’ll see you then.”

Rúna begs, and cries, and rages. But in the end, she agrees.

They go on. Rúna gets over her anger and learns to appreciate the time she has. She fills her days with work, begins to travel again for her research. When they meet, she tells Ensi all about what she’s been doing. Ensi mentions bits and pieces of her life in Finland, usually at Rúna’s urging. There’s one thing she never talks about, and Rúna never thinks to ask, until one month there’s a bulge under Ensi’s coat that never used to be there.

“How long have you known?” Rúna whispers. Her mouth is dry. She can’t believe this is happening. She didn’t think Ensi was even - didn’t know she was interested in - and somehow, she’d thought she could be enough. But Rúna puts a lot of stock in evidence, and now all evidence suggests she’d been very, very wrong.

“A few months,” Ensi admits, casual. “Didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”

“Not worth - Ensi, you’re PREGNANT! How could you think I wouldn’t care!”

Ensi’s eyes narrow. “I didn’t think you wouldn’t care. It’s just none of your business.”

“That you were sleeping with someone else?” 

“Don’t you?”

Rúna blinks, wills the world to stop spinning so fast. “No. Of course not. How could you think - what am I to you, anyway?”

Ensi heaves a sigh. When she speaks again, her voice is uncharacteristically gentle. “Not as much as I am to you, I think. I’m sorry. I don’t think we should do this anymore, Rúna. It’s not fair to you.”

It isn’t. It never has been, not to either of them, but Rúna had thought at least they felt the same about it. Now she knows better. And so, with bits of her heart breaking off like a dying troll, she lets Ensi win the argument she began all those years ago.

“You’re right. It’s not. I’m going.”

They still meet sometimes, paths crossing in the mysterious way that sometimes happens in the dream world. Every time, Ensi looks older, though Rúna knows her own face betrays signs of age, too. Sometimes, they speak. Warnings about new dangers they’ve faced. Stories of Rúna’s research, or Ensi’s work as a mage and scout. Once, she mentions that her sons have both turned out to be mages. The words hurt less than Rúna thought they would.

She never has children of her own, though. Never finds someone she’d want to do it with, even if the Dagrenning program had gotten on its feet when she was young enough for it to be possible. She admits to herself, sometimes, that maybe part of her never got over Ensi. There is a piece of Rúna wandering the dream world between Iceland and Finland, and she’ll never get it back.

The last time they meet, Ensi leads a small child who shares her sharp features and sharper silence. A grandson. Someone to carry on her legacy. Rúna has built hers from words, published pages spreading to shelves throughout the Known World. Her books travel farther than she does, these days - it’s clear to Rúna that she doesn’t have much time left. She says as much to Ensi.

“I think this is the end.”

Ensi regards her with a lifted brow. “It all ended before we were born, Rúna. But if it hadn’t, we never would have met.”

Rúna has to admit that, once again, Ensi is right. And for once, she’s glad of it.

The world carries on without you But nothing remains the same I’ll be lost without you Until the last of days