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#does that make sense... i am operating on 4h of sleep right now which is probably
suddencolds
ยท
7 months
Text
i've def heard of people having to be in the right headspace to write like, v thirsty/self-indulgent snz content, but somehow i find it equally difficult to be in the right headspace to write angst
#snz thirst is more predictable bc it's just
#letting my d pilot the plane instead of my head and blinking down to see that i've written 2 thousand words
#angst is not like a snz-specific device so you'd think it'd be easier to utilize
#but specifically in the context of h/c it feels like
#close to the same level of self-indulgent for me... only i feel so much more self-conscious when i'm writing it. i think it's also because
#i feel like people more easily excuse gratuitous snz as like 'omg the author really went for it ๐ฅต this is hot' whereas for angst the
#equivalent of 'overdoing it' or being too indulgent is like... okay this is ooc. these characters are not arguing in a way that feels
#believable. it feels like they are being flattened or misconstrued just for the sake of the angst ๐
#what i'm trying to say is
#being perceived as overindulgent in the angst sense scares me so much more than being perceived as overindulgent in the snz sense
#when i get really into writing angst i'm like >:) omg i live for dramatic tension and misunderstandings. please argue MORE
#but when i get to editing it i'm like ๐ฐ๐ฐ what was i thinking. would they really say that... would they really cry here...
#which feels terrifying in a different way - the not-knowing if what i've been writing will be received as i intend it or if it'll be seen
#as too emotionally trite / unbelievable
#does that make sense... i am operating on 4h of sleep right now which is probably
#why this post exists haha. but anyways
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