#does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aeolids-zenith · 1 year

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i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless

#space chirrup #idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me #i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted #possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful #(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't)#i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that #but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests #i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy.#but i don't want that with someone i don't know already.#but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general #does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am #bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a #plan i could just do it without medication #but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg #ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night #people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral #like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for #and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it.#though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll

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