#though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll

[aeolids-zenith]

i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless

[silver-kitsuneneko]

How to Deal with Cyberbullying as an Adult

I’m writing this because sadly, I hadn’t seen any posts or guides to help people with being bullied online, which is a shame because it’s a very important thing to know, especially when it’s no longer in the realm of teenagers but when adults are being cyberbullied. This guide is for those who are eighteen and over. Cyberbullying has become a growing problem over the years and with the whole cancel culture movement it’s gotten even worst. People are going after creators who did something someone didn’t like twenty years ago, someone was accused of something without proper evidence and of course that can’t fly and more often than not, someone disagreeing with someone over a show/media/fandom etc. and will of course make that person’s life a living hell just because. As someone was on the receiving end of cyberbullying for three years, I think I can give some insight on what to do and not do as a final chapter of this horrible incident and I can finally move on.

 Rule One: DO NOT RETALIATE. I know this is HARD like very hard but it’ll only make things worse. Seriously, don’t take this as an “I’m not going to back down!” or “How dare they?! I’m going to give them a piece of my mind!” moment, just Ignore, delete and BLOCK. Seriously, if not, you’re going to get a lot more than you bargained for:

 So yeah, just IGNORE.

 Rule Two: DeviantART is NEVER going to help you. Many of you use DA as your place to post art, especially teenagers. If you think DA is going to magically help you by banning them because let’s face it, DA is good for banning and suspending accounts but they really don’t care about the personal safety of their users. They don’t care if someone steals art, they don’t care if someone is harassing you, they don’t care if you’re being threatened. Their only “solution” is to block the person, knowing that people make multiple accounts just to harass a user. But as long as they get their money from their core users, they don’t care. However, this doesn’t mean that all sites are like this: Tumblr, Wattpad, FF.net, and a few others have excellent and better ways to deal with Cyberbullies and harassment, though with the user being anon things can be tricky.

 Rule three: Document everything! And I do mean everything! every single message geared towards you, anything that you know for a fact is suppose to be about you, anything that harassment and does not make you feel safe, DOCUMENT IT. Make sure you get the time and date stamp and make sure you get the website they posted it on. If you don’t know how to screen shot via desktop, there’s a Snipping tool that will do the dirty work for you better! Here are some examples on what I did. Please note that the following is very disturbing.

  As you can see, these edgelord postings are in fact a death threat and needed to be reported. I’m glad I got it and sent it through proper channels. Which brings me to my next point.

 Rule Four: Local law enforcement cannot help you, especially if your cyberbully is in another country. You can’t contact their police equivalent either because it’s a cybercrime not a “domestic” crime. They can’t do anything to help you.

 Rule Five: Contact the FBI cyber unit. Yes, there’s a FBI unit for cybercrimes. Harassment, death threats, cyberstalking, and cyberbullying are crimes. Get as much information as you can on your harasser. This could mean usernames, locations, and if you can, names. My cyberstalker posted her real name and location because she was an artist so things like her name, location, and email were posted everywhere and it was just easy to get what I needed to file a report. Don’t be ashamed and don’t be scared to do so. The form is simple and you can use that evidence you collected to show that you are indeed being harassed. The website can be found here: https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx

 Rule Six: Don’t post your plight to your fans, on your page, or anything like that. As much as you want to vent to your Readers and Fans online, don’t. This will give your cyberbully exactly what they want, a reaction out of you. Also, many of your fans may take it upon themselves to defend you, which is honorable and an awesome thing but at the same time it’ll give them a “Reason” to send their own personal hate army after your or in my cyberbully’s case, even after I apologized, still sent her batshit crazy friends after me for days at a time. If that’s the case then shut down your page temporarily. I know it seems like you’re running but damage control at this point is the best thing you can do especially since they’re making new accounts faster than you can block and delete. If you do what to vent to your readers, use a secret language or something like that to keep everything hushed and secret so only you and your fans would know or set things to private.

 Rule Seven: Don’t post anything too personal about yourself. To many, their page or accounts are their safe places. No I don’t mean this is a SJW, special snowflake, PC culture thing but your personal spot where you can share your thoughts and feelings and post your creations. Sometimes you forget that someone with ill intentions may be using your page to get cannon fodder for later or something of that nature. My bully decided to use my relationship with my parents as a way to bash me and things of that nature and found a post several years before the fact where I told a Reader/ Fan that I didn’t like my name and went by my initials (K.C.) that I realized that she was stalking my page. She even made a journal stating that I was going after her husband, the reason why she didn’t have a job, and that if she killed herself it was my fault because I “drove her to it”. The link to that is here.

https://www.deviantart.com/justwaitforit/journal/The-Cyberbully-Incident-by-Artist-Holly-Rorke-817668170

As you can see, most of it is a very unhinged rambling of someone who really need some help. This is why you should NEVER engage a cyberbully. You don’t know if they’re right in the head or not. 

 Rule Eight: take all the time you need to take care of your mental health. When you’re being harassed at the level I was, it’s weighs on your self-worth, self esteem, mental health, and even your physical health. I felt alone in this fight, I felt like no one was listening to me, and I felt like she was never going to stop. Thanks to @pizzapupperroni, @ mischief-soul-lover, and @incubeebirb, I slowly got through it. In fact, PizzaPupper got me on One Piece as an attempt to do something new and it really helped me. I can’t thank her enough for that. Do things that’ll take your mind off of things, play your favorite video game series, take a break from your page for a little while, engage in a new hobby, block and made sure your bully cannot contact you again if you can. Meditate, take a hot bath/ shower, and just take a few days to yourself before going back to business as usual. Remember your mental health and self worth is more important than your page. Your followers will understand.

Rule Nine: If all else fails, start over. I know this is VERY hard for those who’ve been on platforms for five plus years and built you following or things like that but if the harassment continues, you may have to switch platforms and start over. This is usually a last resort. Usually by the cyber crime report happens, everything is okay again. But sometimes that may not be the case. Think of this as a last resort if this person is really bothering to the point that you can’t take it.

Whew, I was finally able to get all of this off my chest. Hopefully my experience with this cyberbully incident will help many of you approach it better with more and better resources than I did. No one deserves this type of torture and that’s exactly what it is, torture. It’s something that will weigh on your body mind until you feel like there’s nothing left for you to do and it overall makes you feel just unsafe and shitty. Please be safe out there, use you best judgment and learn to not engage.