#does this happen to EVERY Bonaparte fan??? is this just a thing we go through??? i know like 2 or 3 other ppl that experienced the same

[king-magppi]

Some... What do I even call this, man??😭 I guess some Animal Crossing Psychonauts I thought about before going ham on a bunch of Fred related stuff. VERY Fred-centric post... You can tell he's a favorite.

[randbwrite]

La Comtesse Chronicles Chapter 5 Part 3

Art by @nae812​

Words: 1375

CW: Vampires

TW: Blood

R:

Cal and Derrick cleaned up nicely, though it was quite obvious that they needed custom clothes, especially the larger of the two. Message sent to Sebastian telepathically to have Derrick fitted for his own wardrobe in the coming days. Castle seamstresses were going to have a lot of work on their hands, as even Leonardo wasn’t this large of a man. 

<<Right! Famous lads from history, eh? If I’d have known the great Napoleon Bonaparte was on the battlefield, might’ve brought more darts! Course, I thought you’d be shorter an’ all. Inferno or not, you’re reasonably impressive!>>

Right, cause that was a bright move, Cal. Loud sigh came from Comtesse. There went all of the trouble she had gone to in order to hide which of them had harmed her personally. Were she not so controlled she would have done a full on facepalm. Guess this one was a stubborn one, or he wanted to save his friend from any animosity. Napoleon seemed less than amused, his lips pressed together, eyes flashing, especially at the short joke. Not something he enjoyed about the propaganda about him, during his time or even after. 

<<We are indebted to your graciousness for freeing us from that place and accepting us into your home. It may be a moment before I can formulate questions, in the meantime if I can answer anything for you?>> 

“You are welcome. I just could not leave you there, especially since you weren’t terrified of me. I have not run into many who know of me who are not. Well, that don’t live under this roof, I mean. I suppose there are a great many things that seem unique about you that made me decide to offer you a place here as well, not just Cal. I do have questions, but I’d rather ask them privately, especially since they concern where exactly you come from.” 

The other conversations being had did not escape her notice, but she thought it best to let them fight it out with words than to constantly intervene. Though she kept her remarks to Derrick short, what she said to him in his head was quite a different matter. 

‘Derrick, no one can hear this, but I am curious as to who your sire is. Why would they leave you in that horrible place to begin with? Most of my kind take siring someone as a great responsibility and do not treat it lightly, though I suppose some do. I find that I’m not fond of the idea of some blaggard of a pure blood leaving you in that horrible place.’ 

Cal interrupted to try to do something to clear his name, however unsuccessfully. <<Your Comtesse was another job. There was nothing more to it. Take it as personally as you like, she’s important to ya. All I’ve got to offer is my word I won’t be raising a hand against her from here out. Any of y’all either. Take it or leave it, that’s how it is.>> 

Yeah, that didn’t really do much to assuage any of their rage or fears. Chatter continued, this time they had decided to leave the poor man alone as he turned to speak to Comtesse, he wearing the smile of a man facing his own execution. 

<<However did you manage to wrangle a wormhole anyway, swee—Comtesse?>> 

......

The sound of a drop of water hitting a pool only he heard. He and Comtesse, suddenly alone in a room he had never seen, she standing before him.

“We are in your mind, before you ask. I figured it would be better to talk to you here than out loud.” She sighed and looked up at him, brows knitting together, eyes swimming as she looked his face over. “You need to eat or you’ll go feral. I can’t have you losing your mind and attacking one of the human residents in the castle. It is true that everyone that is presently in the room is a vampire, Sebastian included, but this is not true for the many that I employ on the grounds. 

I can tell what’s going on, it’s written all over your expression. The smell, what it’s meant to you before. It’s ok. This is different. Every single drop that we get here in this castle is humanely acquired, from the future. A blood bank, as you might be familiar with. I own a pharmaceutical research firm in that wormhole, as you asked about. This is how we eat, and how they get lifesaving medicine. I think it’s a good trade off. But I digress. 

I’m going to help you… might be a bit weird till you get used to it… but focus with me. It’s rouge, a type of wine. Delectably sweet, smells of honey and elder flowers with a tinge of the iron in the soil. Crimson in color, the red of it’s beautiful flower. Relax and let it nourish you. You won’t heal otherwise.” Her powers altered things, flooded his senses with her description, building an association in an instant, banishing his previous attachment to the smell, at least for now.

“Cal…” She floated up to his eye level, reaching out and tenderly touching his cheek. “You are safe here, despite the animosity you are experiencing now. It won’t last forever, that I can promise. I imagine soon they will start to become your friends, something it seems you haven’t had except for the man next to you. But more importantly….” 

Arms were wrapped around him, her voice wavering, a soft whisper, full of emotion, saltwater hitting his shoulder. “I forgive you….” 

Time stood still, her warmth enveloping him, till the ting of a bell heralded the return to the present, outside of his mind. 

….. 

“Good question, Cal. Before that, I’d like to address something. Gentlemen.” The sound of a chime echoed through the room, though there was none. Everyone stopped and looked at her expectantly. “I went to that citadel knowing full well that I would be bringing back with me the man who tried to take my life. While the situation is an ugly one, the truth behind it is far worse, and not his fault. When we entered the council room, I delved into a few of their minds, for just a moment. 

Cal was not meant to come back from his mission. They knew he was not going to succeed in killing me, as was the point. They just didn’t count on how good he was at the job they forced upon him. Listen carefully to me: I don’t blame him nor hold him responsible for what happened. He was simply doing the job of a soldier. Jean, Napoleon, each of you can relate I’m sure. The man who was responsible for the harm that came to me has been dealt with. 

All that being said, I forgive Cal.” 

Theo began to shake, his and others’ eyes shining with vampiric rage. “How can you forgive this klootzak of a man? Just like that? He hasn’t done anything to deserve your forgiveness.” 

“Mercy does not care for what is deserved, forgiveness cares not for penance, they simply are and move forward. I do not expect you all to join me in my decision to move forward at this time, but I do hope you each will consider it in your own time.” 

Eyes around the table widened. Silence only to be broken by her voice. Whether her words had the desired effects or not, time would tell. 

“Now, to answer your question, Cal. The wormhole or rather, wormholes are tied to a door that I created. I won’t get into the mechanics of it, only Isaac and Leonardo have gotten close to the proper understanding. Regardless, all you need to know is that I’ve traveled and have brought back quite a few things from various times and places. I believe that you’ll find the X-men movies, and other superhero movies you have mentioned knowing of, in one of the entertainment rooms only the vampire residents and staff are allowed in. We also have a plethora of video games, as I’m a big fan. My turn for a question for you. Where and when exactly are you from?”

[danimarcelino]

Post #1

(This is probably as creative as I’ll get when trying to come up with catchy titles for my posts. So anyways ---)

HELLO TUMBLR!

So here's a situation: 

Bob is your normal 21st century bloke. Like every other normal 21st century blokes wandering around, Bob is the proud owner of a phone. And through this phone, he can access the biggest treasure trove of information - The Internet. Scrolling through Facebook one day, Bob sees an article shared by one of his friends. His favourite British celebrity, Benadryl Crumplesnitch, has died last week. Bob shares this article, and his fellow Cookiesnatch fans kickstarts one of media's biggest and possibly the most distraught mourning ever. 

 A week later, Bumblebee Custardbath tweets out: "What's this about me being dead? Last time I checked, all my limbs are still in one piece??" 

 Bob, afterwards, is sufficiently embarassed. 

 What just happened? Aside from Mr. Bumbleshack Crackerjack's ever-changing name, what did happen in that strange order of events? 

We could say that our good friend Bob has obviously been the victim of what we call "fake news". Quickly believing the articles detailing the death of Bandicoot Chesterfield, Bob has failed to be literate in both media and information. 

"But Ms. Itsagclasstask, what does that even mean?!" you ask me aggressively. 

Well, young grasshopper, literacy in media and information simply means being able to effectively gather accurate information through the use of media or any other sources of varying trustworthiness. 

 "Oh my god," you exclaim, "How can I become exactly that?" 

DON'T BE LIKE BOB. 

As I'm feeling generous today, here are five ways I swear by to prevent yourself from becoming another one of the Bobs of this world : 

Fact check - I cannot stress enough how important this is. One of the things that led to Bob's eventual downfall is that He. Did. Not. Fact check. He simply believed the words handed to him on a silver platter, without consulting other sources about the validity of the information. And speaking of sources..

Make sure you're getting information from a trustworthy source - Bob failed to do such a thing. He failed to consult news websites like CNN, BBC News, etc. Surely, if someone as great and acclaimed as Bandersnatch Cul-de-sac was to meet his doom, the bigger news broadcasting organisations would mourn for weeks! However, Bob's article probably came from some no-name, unknown website. Tsk, tsk. 

Ask yourself, "Am I on the right platform"? - The Internet, I've observed, tends to take the form of extremes. Either it's extremely helpful, or extremely UN-helpful. Say that Bob didn't find the article on Facebook, but somewhere with a reputation of not taking things seriously. Somewhere like 9Gag, for example. Would you believe it? Bob certainly would. 

Read a lot. Learn a lot. Expand your knowledge. - Alright, stick with me on this one. Wise men say "only fools rush in", thus the best solution to every problem is prevention. If only poor Bob was aware of the existence of fake news and how to spot such things, perhaps he wouldn't have easily believed that one article. Alas, Bob disregarded the sayings of wisemen and rushed in foolishly. 

If all else fails, ask the person concerned directly. - If you've gone through all and every solution you could think of, there's one last thing left to do. Go straight to the dudes involved. In Bob's case, he read an article detailing the doubtlessly gruesome death of Beetlejuice Curdlesnoot. 

Faced with the same situation, head over to his social medias. Tweet at him. Send him PMs. Pester him. Send him letters. Send his manager letters. And y'know what, send Martin Freeman letters. 

Confirm that Bonapart Chucklecheese is well and truly dead before beginning your mourning. 

Wishing you all the best, 

itsaglasstask 

[welcometowcwmondaynitro]

WCW Monday Nitro 10/06/1996

“It’s time to get rockin’!” proclaims Tony Schiavone as the fireworks go off, and we’re welcomed to WCW Monday Nitro live on TNT. 

Larry appears in surprisingly normal attire this week. And he looks rather pleased with himself, too.

We’re a week away from the Great American Bash, and we’re told that the main event of this episode of Nitro will be Arn Anderson & Ric Flair against Joe Gomez & the Renegade. Gee, I wonder who’s going to win that one? You may remember the Renegade as WCW’s attempt at an Ultimate Warrior rip off. 

We’re also getting the Giant Vs Scott Norton in hour number two. That should be hard hitting. 

Tony mentions Scott Hall’s interruption of Bischoff from the previous week, and recaps Sting’s rebuttal. No explanation as to why Hall isn’t barred from the building, as there is no indication he works for WCW... but hey. This plot hole does get filled eventually. Kind of. 

Our first match gets underway, and out first is Booker T...

He walks out looking vaguely confused. As the camera pans to the fans, Schaivone says “look at the fans, they are living”.

Yes, they do appear to be alive.

“Here’s a story of two brothers, Ricky and Scott...”

Booker’s opponent is Scott Steiner and his ridiculous arms.

Booker T Vs Scott Steiner

Tony advises that viewers call their family and friends to remind them that the Great American Bash is six days away, and now would be a good time to tune into Nitro. You have to assume if these family and friends were really into WCW they’d be aware of the upcoming PPV and the fact that Nitro is on... but anyway.

Both wrestlers play to the crowd. Generally boos for Booker, and cheers for Steiner. From recollection Harlem Heat were essentially being booked as heels at this point. The WCW crowd isn’t just being racist. Well, not all of them at least.

The two wrestlers lock arms back-to-back.

Booker realises he’s made a mistake here.

Steiner attempts a variety of suplexes, which Booker slips out of and reverses. Booker then misses a kick and ends up taking an underarm suplex. Booker then eats an atomic drop and is clotheslined out to the floor. Steiner dishes out a quick beating on the outside and then throws Booker back into the ring. The commentators, invested in the match as always, are talking about the Horsemen Vs Greene & McMichaels at the PPV. Larry says the Macho Man thinks he’s Napoleon Bonaparte. I can’t imagine Macho Man even knows who that is.

Booker finally lands some offence by catching Scotty with a kick in the corner, then hits him with a scissor kick and gets a two count. 

They do this for a while. It doesn’t look particularly painful. Steiner fights out of it, but then gets hit with a scoop slam. Booker climbs to the top rope, hits a cross body block and gets another two count. Steiner hits a reverse DDT on Booker and hits him with a back body drop. Larry tells us that aggression is good in wrestling (you don’t say?) and claims that whoever hits offence first usually wins the match. I’d like to test that theory. 

Booker gets hit with a belly-to-belly, but Scott then misses a Frankensteiner and gets smacked with a flying sidekick. 

Bam. Tony calls it a “spinwheel kick”, which is ridiculous as Booker did not spin. 

Booker hits a side slam and goes up for what you would assume to be the harlem hangover, but no. He just kind of flops into the middle of the ring as Scott Steiner rolls out of the way. Larry calls it a “swan dive”. Another belly-to-belly from Steiner, and he gets the three count. That was a very quick ending to an otherwise decent match. 

Scott Steiner beats Booker T via Pinball. 

For some reason these two idiots are practicing for football again. Shouldn’t the Macho Man be there to remind them that they’re wrestling now?

We’re back with Mean Gene, who is interviewing Scott Steiner.

Steiner’s arm is legit bigger than Gene’s head. It might even be bigger than his own head. 

Mean Gene notes that the Steiners will be facing Fire & Ice in a match where somebody must win. I assume that means no DQ. 

Steiner concurs and is about to launch into a verbal beatdown of his opponents, but before he can do so, he’s interrupted by Debra McMichaels, wife of Steve McMichaels.

Gene’s face here cracks me up. That’s such a “why aren’t you in the kitchen?” face. Cold.

Anyhow, Debra says that she needs Mean Gene’s attention and basically tells Steiner to go away. And he does. Unusually amicable. 

Debra tells Mean Gene she can’t sleep, and is worried about the upcoming match. She’s worried that her husband “Steven” will get really angry and hurt somebody permanently. She feels bad because she thinks it’s her fault.

Gene suggests it isn’t her fault, and Flair has form for winding people up regarding their wives/girlfriends. Debra asks Gene if he can arrange a meeting between the teams to settle their differences before the PPV. A stupid request for numerous reasons - why does she think Mean Gene has the power to do this, or the motivation? He’s just an interviewer. Gene is cracking me up again though. 

What’s with this facial expression - is he shushing her? 

Mean Gene says he’ll try to get Heenan to get the teams together. Yeah, I’m sure that will work out well. 

Jim “Jobber” Powers comes running out with a determined look on his face, so I guess we’re onto the next match.

Then we see this shot.

This type of thing is fine as long as the kids are in the right order. If the kid at the end isn’t there the other two are just advertising a bathroom though.

Powers’ opponent is heel DDP.

Schiavone calls DDP the “Lord of the Ring”, which fortunately never became an official nickname.

Jim Powers Vs DDP

Powers looks a bit like tarzan. Powers starts off well, but DDP soon takes control. Powers makes a strong comeback, but then...

Bang. Diamond Cutter, game over. It’s weird hearing so little pop for this move.

DDP beats Jim Powers by Pinball.

After the match, DDP calls himself the Lord of the Ring. Almost as bad as the Ringmaster.

We’re given a promo on the issues between Chris Benoit and Kevin Sullivan. 

Sullivan tries to look demonic (I think?) but ends up making a derp face.

When this promo finally ends, we’re backstage with Mean Gene and US Champ Konnan.

They both look thrilled to be there. 

Konnan is facing some guy called “El Gato” on Sunday, who Konnan says is a “legend of legendary proportions” in South America. I’m pretty sure this is a lie, as he’s talking about Pat Tanaka, who is most famously known for using Goldberg’s music before Goldberg used it.

Konnan finishes the promo speaking in Spanish whilst Mean Gene gives another look which has me laughing.

“What chu talkin’ bout, Konnan?”

We’re going back to the ring, where Meng is making his entrance.

Larry says that every challenger for the US belt should have a Green Card. It’s actually a fair point, as they’d presumably have to get one if they won the belt and had to defend it regularly. 

His opponent is a man called Sting...

The announcers are still talking about that back-hand bitch slap that Regal gave Sting. Apparently this was hugely humiliating for Sting. They say Regal will be on the program in a return match against Billy Kidman. I was hoping they were going to say Junior Adolf.

Larry mentions that Steve McMichaels may have sent Debra out to purposefully try and get the match on Sunday cancelled. Yes, they’re back on this again. Schiavone says this is nonsense, but honestly, it sort of makes sense. Mongo clearly realised last week he was teaming up with an utter imbecile. 

Meng Vs Sting

Meng backs Sting into the corner and then literally just starts smacking him in the face over and over, until they’re in the middle of the ring.

Meng does not give one fuck. Larry calls Meng a “human vegomatic”. I do not know and do not want to know what he means by that. He also says that Meng is not the kind of guy you want to “send a telegram to”. He doesn’t expand on why.

Sting hits a back body drop but then misses a drop kick off the ropes. Meng hits an elbow drop and then chokes Sting, before getting up and stomping him into the mat. This is a pretty brutal beatdown. Sting does eventually manage to take control and knocks Meng down with a series of clotheslines.

After some more back and forth, Meng decides to go to the top rope. This doesn’t work and he ends up getting crotched and falling to the mat. Sting locks in the Scorpion Deathlock.

And this one is over.

Sting defeats Meng via Submission.

For some reason Schiavone sounds stunned that Sting managed to beat a mid-card tag team wrestler. “And Sting wins AGAIN!” ... I’m not sure why he sounds so surprised. Sting wins most of his matches. The guy’s a former world champ and current Tag Team champ. Why the shock that he won a match?

Regal is coming up. Always entertaining.

Mean Gene is out the back with Debra and Heenan.

A sombre scene.

Heenan insinuates that Debra has been talking to Flair all week and all night, which she denies. He says “you want to talk to Flair? Follow me, toots”, and they walk through a door. Flair is inside with Woman and Liz. Heenan for some reason slams the door shut, and then we hear screaming. 

Debra comes running out looking dishevelled, and suddenly there are a couple of jobbers in the hallway. 

Flair and Anderson lay a beat down on them. This is apparently Joe Gomez and Renegade. An unfortunate coincidence that they just happened to be around, I guess. 

Back to the action, and out comes “Squire” Dave Taylor along with Jeeves.

I’m not convinced Dave is a legitimate squire. 

This kid is not impressed, nor is the dude beside him wearing the wifebeater and the big glasses. 

Dave Taylor’s opponent is “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.

Tony says that he’s getting word that there are people willing to wrestle in place of Renegade and Gomez, who apparently are too badly injured to compete. What a shame.

Dave Taylor Vs Jim Duggan

Duggan yells “hoooo” as he beats up Taylor. He starts a “USA” chant. Standard stuff for Hacksaw. 

The announcers are very quickly informed that the Horsemen will now be facing Luger and Sting for the tag team titles. A slight improvement to the main event, to say the least. Sting’s pulling double duty tonight.

Meanwhile, Hacksaw and his gut start clapping and dancing around the ring.

The crowd are thrilled.

Taylor takes control of the match and chokes Duggan on the ropes. Duggan comes back and hits a clothesline, but Taylor gets a foot on the ropes. Inexpicably, Taylor does this whilst Hacksaw pulls the customary tape from his tights and wraps it around his hand.

Hacksaw smacks Taylor across the skull with his Tape of Doom, and gets the pin for a mercifully quick win.

Jim Duggan defeats Dave Taylor via Pinfall.

We get a brief Mysterio/Malenko promo, then cut to a recap of John Tenta’s infamous “I’m not a fish” promo. Gene narrates by saying “that was the announcement, he was not a... not a fish”. 

We cut backstage where Gene is with Big Bubba and Jimmy Hart.

Bubba is playing with scissors. Don’t try this at home kids. Or try to copy Bubba’s look. 

Hart tells Tenta that if you don’t pull your own weight in the Dungeon of Doom, you suffer the consequences. In Tenta’s defence, that’s a lot of weight to pull. 

Bubba says “Big John Tenta, you say you’re not a man, you say you’re not a fish any more, that you’re a man” ... not a great start. Bubba says that cutting Tenta’s hair proved he’s half a man, and that “the whole world” has been laughing at Tenta behind his back for years. This is not a nice thing to say to a guy who is clearly already pretty paranoid. Bubba says he’s going to leave Tenta laying like “the big whale” he is and sweep him out with the trash. Seems like a missed opportunity to make a beached whale reference, but whatever. Gene quips “nice beard” as Bubba walks away. Snide, especially coming from a guy with dat tasche.

Back in the arena, Gene is up again. He’s all over the show tonight. He introduces Scott Norton, “the flash”. Considering Norton’s lack of speed I have to assume his nickname does not refer to the superhero. 

Footage of Norton being chokeslammed last week airs. Gene says he needs to remind Norton of this, as if he’s already forgotten.

Norton says he took the chokeslam twice and he’s back because he doesn’t care and he isn’t scared. A good attitude to have. 

Colour co-ordinated. Sort of. We’re forty seconds away from the second hour, so Norton has to stand around and wait until the countdown ends and the fireworks go off. It would be kind of silly if they started going off during the Giant’s entrance, I suppose.

We switch to Bischoff and Heenan on commentary as the second hour begins. 

Out come Jimmy Hart and the Giant, who despite being world champion is pretty far down in the pecking order as far as overall importance goes. Bischoff calls Heenan “coach” and Heenan says “you can call me whatever you want, but always call me a winner”. Not whatever you want, then.

The Giant Vs Scott Norton

This match does not last very long. Norton gets pounded in the corner, then hit with a powerslam. Giant chokes him in the corner with his boot. Norton makes a very brief comeback before running himself into a pole on the outside and getting chokeslammed.

Match over.

The Giant beats Scott Norton via Pinfall.

After the match, Lex Luger comes out and gets into it with the Giant. In case you’ve forgotten, he has a title match against the Giant at the PPV. The announcers certainly seem to have forgotten.

Luger is tossed outside. Up until this point I hadn’t noticed the VIP area, but yes, it had been set up. Giant decides to destroy it.

Good. 

He tries to Chokeslam Luger through the table, but Luger gives him a low blow, cracks him over the head with the champagne holder and gets the fuck out of there. Giant is pissed.

“LUGERR!!!”

Giant storms to the back. Apparently he didn’t see Luger head up to the announcer’s booth.

Luger says the gloves are off and the rulebook is out the window. He’s got a lot more surprises for the Giant and will see him at the PPV.

Billy Kidman is out next and he’s just super excited to be there.

His opponent is Lord Steven Regal, who in contrast looks like he just shit himself.

Steven Regal Vs Billy Kidman

Regal gets into the ring and beats the piss out of Kidman. He recieves a dropkick to the back of the head and Kidman goes up to the top, but misses a splash. Kidman quickly submits to whatever this is.

And the match is over. Squash.

Steven Regals beats Billy Kidman via Pinfall.

Sting suddenly appears, knocks Regal down, points at him and leaves.

Humiliation avenged, I guess? Heenan says Sting must have had “a roll of ten dollar notes in his hand”. Definitely not the case and not sure how that would have helped.

The Nasty Boys make their way out...

Public Enemy come running out and immediately begin a brawl. 

The Nasty Boys Vs Public Enemy

This match lasts for far longer than it should. 

Match ends when Knobbs hits Rocco Rock with a trashcan and the match ends in disqualification. Moving on.

Public Enemy beat the Nasty Boys via Disqualification.

There is a promo video for Hulk Hogan. We then get a promo of Greeen/Mongo Vs the Horsemen, as if the announcers haven’t been going on about it literally the entire program. There’s some bizarre hillbilly music playing in the background. It makes the whole thing seem like a joke, which is strange as this is supposed to be a serious match. It’s like they found some background music for the Dukes of Hazzard and said “fuck it, that’ll do.” 

Sting’s music hits, and out come the first team for the main event...

Their opponents are, of course, Flair and Anderson, accompanied by Woman and Liz.

As usual, Arn is way back in the background. Flair yells at the camera “you know what they say Macho Man? They say lonely women make great lovers”. Probably true, but I’m not sure that’s a common saying.  

Arn is checking out dat ass.

Bischoff recaps the situation for anybody who’s “just joined us”. Considering the show is basically over it’s a bit late to tune in. WCW seems to think a lot of its fans are extremely forgetful.

Luger & Sting Vs Anderson & Flair

Flair walks over and shoves Sting, who returns the shove and causes Flair to go tumbling over.

Arn is not impressed. 

Luger and Flair start the match. Flair gives Luger some chest chops in the corner, but Luger no sells this and gives Flair a gorilla press slam followed by a couple of clotheslines. Anderson comes in and gets decked as well. The Horsemen roll outside and regroup. One of the fans does this weird hand sign and yells “booooo” at Flair...

Who totally ignores him. This is the correct course of action.

Flair gets back in the ring and the camera zooms in on Liz.

Lovely... hair.

Back in the ring Flair gets knocked down again and is hit with another gorilla press slam as Woman screams “RIIIIIC!” 

Flair does his trademark flip over the turnbuckle and runs into Sting, who decks him on the apron. 

KO.

Luger suplexes Flair back into the ring and then attempts and elbow drop, but Flair manages to roll out of the way. I don’t think Flair has hit any actual offence yet. He tags in Arn Anderson, who briefly attacks Luger before also getting knocked down. Luger tags in Sting, and Arn wants no part of that.

Bischoff asks for people to send pictures of their Nitro Parties to WCW. This is the start of something dreadful.

Anderson comes off worse against Sting and gets face planted. Flair runs in and eats his third gorilla press slam, this time from Sting. 

Flair runs out to grab a chair from the VIP section...

Then proceeds to drop it. OK.

Flair and Anderson are regrouping outside again. The match has been a total fail for them thus far. 

We go to a commercial, and when we come back Sting and Luger are still in control of the match, beating on Anderson. Flair is tagged back in.

Flair knees Sting in the gut and tries those chops to the chest in the corner, which once again do not work. He might want to reassess using this as an attack. Sting attempts to hit a Stinger Splash, but misses.

Bad times. Flair goes up to the top turnbuckle. This quite literally never ends well for him, and once again...

Fail. For a veteran, Flair sure makes a lot of the same mistakes over and over again. 

Sting hits a clothesline from the top rope and gets a two, but Arn breaks it up. Momentum stays with Sting and Luger, as Sting hits a superplex on Flair. Arn once again breaks up the pin, and Flair uses the distraction to rake Sting’s eyes. Arn is tagged in and chokes Sting on the ropes. Arn hits his patented spinebuster and gets a two. Luger comes in to break up the count, but is so slow that Sting had already kicked out by the time he got there. Focus, Lex.

Arn attempts to jump on Sting, but gets a couple of knees to the groin...

His face says it all. 

Flair is tagged back in. He chops Sting to the mat and gets a two count. Sting reverses a back suplex and nearly gets a pin. Flair goes for the Figure Four but gets rolled up. The referee is for some reason more interested in Luger, who’s just standing on the apron. By the time he gets to the count, Flair kicks out at two.

We go to another commercial break. 

When we come back, Sting is being whipped into the guard rail on the outside by Flair. They get back into the ring and go into various unsuccessful pinning combinations, before Anderson is tagged back in. Anderson tries to hit a vader bomb on Sting, but gets knees to the gut. 

Flair is tagged back in, just as Sting manages to tag in Luger. Lex beats on Flair and gives him a fourth gorilla press slam. Flair and Anderson try to double team Luger, but end up getting knocked over the ropes.

Weeee! By the way, in WCW it was supposed to be a rule that going over the top rope meant a disqualification. This was generally ignored.

After what seems to have been an unnecessarily long search, the Giant has finally found Luger.

Luger eats a forearm, but then Scott Steiner comes out to get involved.

Because, why not?

Luger, Sting and Steiner beat on the Giant. Jimmy Hart gets between them and begs the Giant to leave. Giant sees sense and walks away. Bischoff says the crowd are chanting “Luger, Luger”. They are definitely not.

Mean Gene is out sticking his beak in everybody’s business again. Giant yells that Luger is a dead man. He promises that Luger will leave the PPV on a stretcher. Ominous.

Luger & Sting Vs Flair & Anderson ends in a No Contest.

We cut back to the announce booth, where Bischoff tries to recap what’s just happened. Rather than go along with this, Heenan launches into a rant about how Macho Man won’t lay a hand on him. He stops short and scampers, because...

Scott “not Razor Ramone” Hall has shown up. 

Bischoff grabs a microphone and says he doesn’t want any trouble, but then goads Hall about the “big surprise”, asking where it is.

There it is.

For some reason, Bischoff completely ignores Hall’s pointing and only reacts once Kevin Nash grabs his shoulder and spins him around. Nash grabs the microphone.

“You’ve been sitting out here for six months, running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective, “play”, we ain’t here to play. Now he [Hall] said last week that he was going to bring somebody out here. I’m here. You still don’t have your three people, and you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show is about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from Mein Kampf.”

Another Hitler reference. Did Regal help write this promo? Bischoff says he wants no trouble, and Nash replies “yeah, no trouble, because I’ll kick your teeth down your throat. Where’s your three guys? What, you couldn’t get a paleontologist to get a couple of these fossils cleared? You ain’t got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Where’s Hogan? Where’s Hogan? Out doing another episode of Blunder in Paradise? (ouch!) Where’s the Macho Man, huh? Doing some Slim Jim commercial? Hey, we’re here. You wanna say something?”

Nash shoves the mic in Bischoff’s face. Ken Doll takes the mic and says he doesn’t have the authority to do anything now, and if Nash wants a fight, it isn’t with him. He tells Nash that tomorrow morning at nine o’clock he’ll be in the offices in Atlanta and he’ll try and get them their fight.He tells them they can show up at the Great American Bash and they might get a fight.

Hall and Nash say that they’ll be there. Nash says “bring what you got. The measuring stick just changed around here buddy, you’re looking at it.”

Nash then shoves the microphone into Bischoff’s chest so hard he falls back onto the announce desk. Hall and Nash mug to the crowd as Bischoff makes the sign to cut the program.

An excellent promo from Nash here. At the time a lot of his references went over my head, as I was so young, and I still had to google Marge Schott. This was a sign of things to come, as Nitro began to move away from its standard format and into a more chaotic era.