#doing some spring cleaning I guess aksjsjdhksbsk

[area51-escapee]

This is technically a vent but it really ain’t that serious I just need it out of my head lmao

I was getting that reoccurring thought again that I should delete my blogs and delete everything I’ve ever written and give up posting my writing all together forever and then I went to take my birth control and saw what week I was on like OH. That explains that. We’re good everybody ALSJSKDJSJSHSK

It is of course a little depressing to accept the fact that people just aren’t really interested anymore. People have actual responsibilities again since we ain’t all sitting at home. I also just don’t post nearly as often as I used to. I can ramble about my oc’s all day all I want but why is anybody going to care if I can’t update consistently. I think it’s a little more upsetting because that was one of the first times I felt really. Good. At something. I’m okay at a lot of things which is fun in its own way but ultimately I am not good at anything just. Passable. My writing is okay but it could be better. My drawing is okay but I’m often too tired or in too much pain to work on it. I can make some things by hand but they’re all just. Okay. Not good or great or really noteworthy. Just okay.

And sometimes like now it does make me kinda sad. But it usually passes and this too shall pass cuz when I really think about it it’s like. Well that sucks. But that sure ain’t enough to stop me from being obnoxious on main about these fictional little guys AKDJSKSHSKSHSK. Of course I want other people to like my oc’s and find them interesting but also I like my oc’s very much. Maybe too much. I don’t care they make me incredibly happy. I love them like friends. They don’t exist outside of a fictional space and they don’t really do anything but they still bring me a lot of comfort. I wish I had marketable plushies of my blorbos. I love my oc’s. My friends like my oc’s. I absolutely love my friends’ oc’s. In the end that really is enough. There are still some people who have interest in them too and I am so thankful for them and I’m glad they still care about my silly little dudes like I do. I can’t let go of these things just because they don’t draw as much attention as they used to. They still hold all my attention and they still bring me so much joy. I may be a bit abnormal about them and I don’t write or draw as much as I used to and I kind of just talk about the most random things ever when I do post about them but also I’m having fun and that makes me happy and I think I’m okay with that. This week and these feelings will pass and I’ll continue to fixate on them like it’s my fucking job because they make me happy and that’s reason enough to keep going I think.