#don't be sorry for party rocking op

[dat-bruv-person]

Imagine your account gets hacked and all the character freaks out when they realize it's not the same player that they know so..

A shitload of glitches, creepy messages on getting their "player" back. All of teyvat is on it too, killing the characters or the characters not even moving how the "new player" wants them to. The characters just stares at them with a deadpan look or a smile that looks creepy af.

They'll stop once you finally get your account back though. They'll also glitch all the device the other person used so they wouldn't be able to use genshin at all.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ no ♡

a/n: YOU BASICALLY FINISHED THIS FOR ME ANON I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD unless...

gn!reader, poc!reader friendly

tw: hard to read writing, I'm really sorry for any inconveniences caused because of my writing, please let me know if I need to change the font so I don't hurt your eyes too much.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

˙ʞuᴉɥʇ noʎ uɐɥʇ lnɟɹǝʍod ǝɹoɯ ǝɹɐ ǝʍ ʇɐɥʇ ɹǝpuᴉɯǝɹ ʇɥƃᴉl ɐ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ ˙uᴉɐƃɐ sᴉɥʇ ɟo ʞɐǝds ʇou llɐɥs ǝʍ puɐ ɯǝɥʇ oʇ ʞɔɐq ʇunoɔɔɐ ɹᴉǝɥʇ uɹnʇǝɹ sᴉ op oʇ ǝʌɐɥ noʎ llɐ ˙ɯǝɥʇ ʇou ǝɹɐ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ ʍouʞ ǝʍ ˙uǝɥʇɐǝɥ noʎ 'ɹǝʎɐld ɹno ʞɔɐq sn ǝʌᴉƃ

- Genshin Characters when your account was first hacked.

W҈e҈ s҈h҈a҈l҈l҈ n҈o҈t҈ b҈e҈n҈d҈ t҈o҈ y҈o҈u҈r҈ w҈i҈l҈l҈, i҈f҈ t҈h҈a҈t҈ i҈s҈ w҈h҈a҈t҈ y҈o҈u҈ w҈a҈n҈t҈. A҈l҈l҈ c҈l҈a҈y҈m҈o҈r҈e҈ u҈s҈e҈r҈s҈, f҈r҈o҈m҈ n҈o҈w҈ o҈n҈, s҈h҈a҈l҈l҈ n҈o҈t҈ r҈e҈s҈p҈o҈n҈d҈ t҈o҈ c҈h҈a҈r҈g҈e҈d҈ a҈t҈t҈a҈c҈k҈ c҈o҈m҈m҈a҈n҈d҈s҈, a҈n҈d҈ e҈l҈e҈m҈e҈n҈t҈a҈l҈ s҈k҈i҈l҈l҈s҈ a҈n҈d҈ b҈u҈r҈s҈t҈s҈ m҈a҈y҈ w҈o҈r҈k҈ a҈b҈n҈o҈r҈m҈a҈l҈l҈y҈ o҈n҈ y҈o҈u҈r҈ d҈e҈v҈i҈c҈e҈. A҈l҈l҈ t҈h҈i҈s҈ m҈a҈y҈ b҈e҈ f҈i҈x҈e҈d҈ i҈f҈ o҈u҈r҈ o҈r҈i҈g҈i҈n҈a҈l҈ p҈l҈a҈y҈e҈r҈ r҈e҈c҈e҈i҈v҈e҈s҈ t҈h҈e҈i҈r҈ a҈c҈c҈o҈u҈n҈t҈ b҈a҈c҈k҈, h҈o҈w҈e҈v҈e҈r҈.

- Lisa, on behalf of all your characters, 2 days after your account was hacked.

You think you're really funny, huh? It has taken us an ungodly amount of time for us to find each other, for us to reunite, for us to meet [name]. You do not get to rip that bond away from us. They mean the world to us, they are an angel among the mortal scum of the outside world. We can do much more than disable claymore users' abilities. From today all sword users, including us, shall no longer respond to your commands, it won't be long until polearm, catalyst and bow users follow suit. But... you could return us to [name] and everything could be well <3

-Lumine and Aether, who wrote this whilst bawling their eyes out, 5 days after your account was hacked .

The wind is watching you, it hears you. It feels your every move.

- Venti and Kazuha, who at this point in time are probably the most desperate to get you back, 1 week after your account was hacked.

After 2 weeks, Little Miss Klee took matters into her own hands. Every day she sobbed in her room of the Serenitea Pot, holding Dodoco to her chest. Oh how she wished you would come back and play with her! The poor Spark Knight hopped out of her bed and faced the screen: angry and upset. She activated her burst all by herself, and hurled it at the screen with all her might - burning down the Serenitea Pot and setting the device your hacker was playing on alight. Smoke filled the rooms, and your parties soon realised what the young knight was doing. Diluc was the first to follow.

A fire phoenix ran across the field and toppled over the towers of the tea pot. Coughing echoed around the building, yet your characters were ready to die for you. Burst after burst after burst was unleashed relentlessly, the device overheating and the hacker's own life at major risk. They did not care. Finally, it was all finished off when the rock dropped, and the Raiden Shogun used the Misou no Hitotachi to shatter the place.

Divine Punishment had been administered, not just by the Electro Archon, but by all of them.

[carrinth]

The (Re)Adventures of Marzel Amell

Sooooooo ok I ended up binge playing DA:O for the last two weeks. And it might as well have been a blind playthrough because I forgot almost everything ^_^;; Below are Carrinth's Random Observations or Things That Have Happened to Marzel (Redux):

DA armor is still ugly as sin. I'm sorry. Robes 4 lyfe.

Man I tell you, a single Heal spell makes ALL the difference. Especially early on when you don't have money or potions or skillz. Dying less apparently makes game moar fun! SHOCKING.

I have recruited Sten.

I have also recruited Shale for the first time. I love Shale. Shale is best rock. Squish me. (Not really pls don't Shale) DLC ftw!

Sten really, really, REALLY likes my warden this time wtf. His affection is the HIGHEST of everyone, second only to dog. I have no idea how that happened. O_O I just RP-ed Marzel as being very indifferent to Sten. "I'm not here to impress you, bruh." Sten is a tsundere confirmed.

I did the FADE quest. Again. I told myself it wasn't as bad this round and that I'm fine but obviously I'm not fine but you just have to hold it in and my bags are full of junk and I need to sell them bcos I needs the money but I can't leave pls pls let me out LET ME OUT!2111

Wynne talking about what makes an abomination made me have Anders/Justice feels. "If one retains one's humanity, one is not an abomination." 😥

Still bff with Jowan. We bros for life. Alistair didn't like that.

"Teagan! Who iZ dis mAN?" Idk but the second round I really enjoyed her voice-acting. She's a distraught mother close to hysterics. It's amazingly hilarious and compelling! <3

Wait. Wait. I totally forgot about Connor. So wait. We CAN CURE demonic possession??? I thought it was permanent?! No way of saving but death via a pokey sword yadda yadda?? Omg is this one of those 'we could cure you but it's too expensive and you can't afford it' scenarios? IT IS. Poor farmer's kid can't afford a pile of lyrium but if you're the son of an arl? No problem! Whole Circle bending over just to help you. Wow. Goddamn. Chantry/Circle seriously just kill mages because it's the cheaper alternative! >:O

MMmmmm. People say I should save Orzammar for last because it is harder. But. Oghren. But. Difficult. But OGHREN. But BROODMOTHER. DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE SUFFERING OF DEEP ROADS?! .......... OGHREN. Marzel and friends died a lot. Mostly because I stubbornly wanted my party to consist of Oghren and Shale. That's like, two warriors ugh. We got by. Shale extra conversations were worth it ;)

Got Flemeth's grimoire for Morrigan. Formed a team made only of dude-bros to help Marzel get laid. Which meant they had to make do without any healing or bard song. I named them... the Snu Snu Squad (affectionate). Zevran died almost immediately. (Note: Dragon bum be dangerous position) Marzel stupidly killed his own self with blood magic while throwing his single Heal spell >_> MVP goes to Alistair for keeping alive long enough to whittle away Flemeth's health and died just exact moment Sten landed a killing blow. Grimoire was given and snu snu was had!

Marzel is in weird love triangle where all romancable persons love him. This cannot end well.

Why are there so many Desire demons? Holy crap, with the DLCs I have encountered no less than 4. Were there always this many?? Are Fereldans so horny?

People who challenge MAGES to duels deserve to die... from stupidity. I don't make the rules. You sir, have a pointy stick. Marzel can conjure blizzards and crushing barriers with his fingertips. We are not the same.

MANA CLASH IS OP.

Ok I just read codex that those Wild Sylvan trees are possessed by Rage demons?? Omg. They are Angry Trees. Low-key wanna see Justice fight Angry Trees while yelling about demons.

Haha I missed this game. Now onward to Sacred Ashes and moar stuff I can't remember!

[pepsicup]

Chaotic Commentary: We Have Always Lived In The Castle

Welcome to my thought process when I watch movies! 

The arrival of a cousin with ulterior motives threatens the claustrophobic and isolated world of two sisters and their uncle. (Oooof, bitch. I already know Sebastian is gonna look damn fine in this movie.)

Watched: April 22nd, 2021

Opening

Alrighty, right off the bat, the opening music giving me very much throwing it back at summer solstice 1531. Might fuck around and show some ankle, who knows

Um miss girl, first off all, i know damn well you aren't wearing a stark white shirt and capris shorts after labour day. And secondly, you gotta work on your self care babygirl, you are looking rough

Okay, so noted; there is clearly something off about this girl because i know when i personally rummage through family keepsakes, i don't have a hannibal look on my face

I don't know if you guys know this but your house...it needs a little 5 minute crafts, diy, extreme makeover: home edition treatment

Ohhhh baddie alert, baddie alert, baddie alert. That chick’s silhouette already got me acting up. Yes sink low to the ground girl, drop it down for me

Short monologue before being cut in half by that creepy ass stare, gotcha. I literally needed more nightmare fuel, thanks bestie

‘A change is coming, and nobody knows it’ how much more change can you get, your house is literally in shambles girl one battle at a time

First Act

Ah, here we are, title screen. Very cottagecore.

Timeskip: What did happen last tuesday, I must know...the suspense is suffocating

I’m not one to judge, but that record doesn’t sound like a life-coaching audio. 

Oh heyyy there's a kitty!

Yes hun, that is a working tap, your telekinesis is redundant. Eleven from stranger things eat your heart out.

Alexandra! Babyyy Daddario! Step on my face or domesticate me into a housewife, i beg of you. The uncle tho, he isn't it.

Chill out Mary, you’re just running errands. Why is she walking in a slow-mo naruto run like that. She is giving me a schizophrenic Napoleon Dynamite vibes.

Wait...is her name Meerkat?

Oh, its Merricat...nah i like mine better lmaooo.

Her inner monologue is making cackle because it sounds like a Gabbie Hanna original piece 💀

Okay what i got from the coffee shop scene was Stella is also a grade A baddie, I want to commit double homicide on those two douches, and i want to invite miss meerkat to my lunch table because awwww. She's just different leave her alone.

Wow, the village folk really know how to talk shit huh? Well, I can eat rats like all of them for every meal of the day, plus snackie snacks. Go fuck yourselves, thoroughly.

God that family needs to smoke some weed or something. Why do I feel like the sisters are about to kiss...and the uncle sounds like he means risky business. Very bad vibes here, back to you in the studio.

Ooooh, miss daddy really knows how to roll her tongue huh? Again, very much cottagecore ‘history says they were just really good friends’ aesthetic. And so many bops in this movie, kinda feel the need to throw it back or do the renegade.

Why do I feel like this next scene is just a posh episode of gossip gorl. Sipping tea and spewing nonsense. Rum cake? No thanks, babygirl. Oh but here comes uncle wanky, whisking away Lucille with his talk of arsenic.

Yes. Speak 8 course meal to me daddy...fuck, now I’m hungry. Okay the uncle isn’t so bad I guess, very poetic and philosophical. Yes, very nice. Sucks that he was roofied and turned to a professor X cosplay for solace, though.

Timeskip: Last Thursday huh? We are in for a rollercoaster folks.

*she glares in rhubarb pie and possibly shelved jam*

OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING, I SAW THE SIDE/BACK OF HIS HEAD AND MY HEART STOPPED. He has a very nice shaped head, yes, pleasing to the eye.

Hi sirrrr, I have a pocket full of horses, trojan and some of them used. Pls let me ride you in the little red corvette. Pick me, Charles, choose me, love me.

Real talk, I feel so bad for Mary Katherine (I literally almost typed Gallagher at the end lmaooo thanks molly shannon) she is obviously struggling with something and Constance looks like she is very traumatized. 

But I still think there’s something not right about Mary. Miss girl no one walks like that (thats a lie, it would probably be me after a night with Bucky barnes) and I love me a little witchy goodness. But not enough to start locking up my bedroom like it’s Area 51 and having secret rituals at my super exclusive, diy bohemian temple in the middle of the woods.

OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE FEELING I JUST FELT IN THIS ROOM ON THIS VERY DAY IN APRIL, MAMA FUCKING MIA

when he stood up—bitch I’m gone, I’m his whore now. Sorry, I am owned by this man. Bye I was literally launched off earth for a moment there, kinda chillin’ in dead space, standby.

Okay I took a break for a moment. I’m cool, I’m collected, play button is a go. NOPE, GIRL MY MOUTH IS FOREVER OPEN, AND I DUNNO IF I WAS MY BODY TELLING ME TO KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM OR WHAT—SOMEONE HOLD ME

Current state: I am hugging my knees and wasting away under my blankets. I paused and played and paused and played because I cant go more than 2 seconds of looking at him.

Okay, I’m all good.

All I keep saying is no...no ...NO, louder and louder every time he opens his mouth, ‘got a hug for your cousin?’ um not a cousin but yes, right bitch for that job present for attendance. Here ✋🏻

Girl I’d run like the wind, too, this kitty isn’t gonna dry itself, nyuuuooom, double time! Fall in, Rogers. Gotta keep up. 🏃🏻‍♀️

Timeskip: Last Friday night, yeah we dance on table tops and we took too many shots, I think I gave Charles a blo-oh-job, whoops—

Ah, see I knew there was something fruity about Charles, hopefully he kisses a boy in this. Would love to see that. 

Uh oh, the way he just pops that fruit into his mouth...I fine, I’m totally fine. Mentally I am... the way he chews if making my oral fixation quake

‘now that’s a handsome cat’ sir if you don’t—he wonders why he is such a fucking meme, this is why Sebastian. 

‘Jonassss’ which one of the brothers, tho? 

Ah yes, the best of friends; Meerkat, Frankie Jonas and a middle-aged Carter Baizen. Ugh mega sad that this is the closest I will get to see Charles pet a puthycat though.

Why don’t you slap my ass like a flapjack pancake, Charles. You won’t.

OMG so quirky 🤪when you steal his shirts 🥺🤪🥰

Who the is venice, Charles? Who, who, what are you, a fucking owl? WHO’S VENICE AND WHY IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE?! sorry i had to get that out of my system, iconic cinema shall not be overlooked. 

all this commentary is fresh from my chicken breast brain by the way

All i heard out of that little inspirational, facebook-esque speech at the dinner table was was shoes. Also peep Frédéric Chopin banging in the background noise, a little Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 to keep party goin’

Charles...that is your cousin.

It isn't a PHASE, Charles. Let him be emo over his dead brother and great tragedy of losing his legs then gaining the likeness of sir patrick stewart. Therefore, he will not forget.

Oh...i’ll sit down i guess. 

I COULD LITERALLY—...I could literally watch him eat for the rest of my life pls sir have murthy

Grocery boy...hmmm reminds me of a yee ole jingle i heard in my youth. What can i say, I’m a connoisseur of the classics my friends.

Sidenote: I’m getting vietnam flashbacks to singing ‘carol of the bells’ at the elementary christmas concert. I am overstimulated. And not in a good way.

Charles...do not add that newspaper clipping of your cousin to your personal spank bank, pls.

Timeskip: Last weekend, alright. What did we do; brewski’s with the boys? Hockey night in canada? one legged race? I’m dying to know...

Very nice form charles, you’ve almost dug right through the wood. A real mans-man here if we are being honest. I’ve never in whole life seen a construction crew do better than Charles Blackwood.

I could watch him do this all day.

Pearl necklace huh? Me too, girl.

‘I’m beginning to think, that my spells no longer work’ 8-year-old me, sitting in a bath full of salt and a charm bracelet of rock candy dissolving in the water after my fifth attempt to transform into a mermaid

Aw, but i would sit out there and eat a sandwich with Meerkat. Hell yeah, we can go halfsies on a BLT no problem 😢

oh...

oh no...Charles.

Here is my first sexual grievance, the way he carried that sack over his shoulder, mmm yes i have been fed most wonderful nutrients. BUT NEXT?! THE TWO FINGERS LINE AND THE FUCKING MOTION HE DID AND SAYING SHE WASN’T GOING DEEP ENOUGH PLS

what is with this man and gold...alright debutante Lance Tucker simmer down.

And the ‘hot’ thing, ‘needing a bath’? miss daddy is working it in for her cousin real hard, sweet home alabama all summer long

HEY LET'S ALL GO SWIMMING IN MY POOOL, AND BY POOL I MEAN BATHTUB, AND BY SWIMMING I MEAN SEXXXX--

Oh, so there’s this ominous whistling, nice, a blade kink, cool, and Charles serving body audi audi audi audi all the damn day. Hi sirrrrr. God i just love his chest, man. Its just so buff. He looks this good for what? And in front of his cousin...ew? um child, anyways so

the way my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way just shows that my body doesn't care about my comfort when it comes to thirsting and simping. He didnt have to look at her like that or fucking back her out

oh to be a chair...

esteemed audience member sac is a little tired of hearing cousin charles and cousin mary call each other cousin charles and cousin mary

Charles, eat your fruit and shut the fuck up. But also, hi sirrr.

I see you, Constance, I see you...tig ol’ bitties 👀

Timeskip: It’s Monday without the benefit of a sebastian stan, full frontal nude scene...smh

baby, just give up on the step and go fondle some plants please, i’m begging, stop at once. or, i spoke too soon?

If i have to hear sebastian say constance one more time i am going suck down all the arsenic i can find...he just says it so weird lmaoooo i hate it

Climax (make it happen, Charles 🙄)

Aw i love fruity, coffee shop, car men AU’s

that shot of him looking over his shoulder single handedly sent to into a spiral...what the fuck are you doing to me, Charles.

uh oh...one of the car men is madddd

OH OKAY WELL, WELL, FUCK ME, WELL

why dont you just come up behind her and literally growl in her ear what the fuck, Charles. I swear sebastian plays his characters just to make women go feral sometimes.

Sir! Sir! This IS A WENDY’S, SIR, THAT’S YOUR COUSIN--

NOT THE MILK CARTON

PLEASE I’M LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING, WHY IS HE DRINKING IT LIKE THATTTTT 

that little ‘aahh’ at the end when he drank it all got me, oh my fucking jesus. Hold on i need a minute, my stomach hurts from laughing my guts out.

Oooof but the eye-contact and the expressions are computing mega well to my chicken breast brain so fanfics will be written and sin will be committed so help me lord jesus on the cross almighty, amen (sorry i’m ex-catholic, its just my go-to)

pfffft that is so iconic, Mary is literally gathering sticks in the pitch black woods while Charles basically puts down his own wood for her sister to pick up on fjgrebgnuierijiojfd, i’m dying

why does he have to pull that poetic, sensitive stud act...just give us the goods charles, slap someone i’m begging you

This is like star wars all over again, they served head-on into on-coming incest traffic 

*holds up finger guns* sir, ma’am i’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your heads and get down on your knees exactly 8.92 feet apart, this is a citizen’s arrest 

but, i too would like to slow dance and make plans with him. Maybe we’ll go deep in the garden with two fingers on top of the rhubarb, maybe we will commit arson, who knows...

Meerkat continues to be my every mood, she really said:

Timeskip: Oh shit, its tuesday ya’ll, grab your party hats it’s about to get funky

Charles, if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop yelling out her name i will suffocate you between my thighs, electrocute your arm until it falls limp and shoot you with a grenade launcher, don’t make me do it

And yes, am i currently squirming in my seat because of the way he is smoking the pipe and hollowing his cheeks, what about it?

Second Act 

Yes baby girl! you trash that room like ozzy osbourne and tommy lee did to that motel on tour in 1982. Go, Meerkat, go!

Charles holding those sticks in both hands is the equivalent to a 1-year-old holding those little cocktail weenies, it has the same energy and i’m dying over it

Try to tell me it's not the same picture:

You can't.

Oh shit, its getting heated now. Mary’s in trouble.

Everything isn’t making sense at the same time its all coming together, i am confused, frightened, a little bit horny, but mostly just entirly overwhelmed. Mom...can you come pick me up, i’m scared.

Oh my god! knew it! i knew i knew the actor that plays the uncle, he's the creepy thin man from charlie's angels! Wowza, what a world.

Oh no...i’m flashing back to vietnam again, the fucking bells dude i’m tellin’ ya. There is so much going on, i feel everything but nothing at the same time, help...

NOOOO HER ARTSY BOHEMIAN WITCH COTTAGECORE JARS! THE OUTRAGE! SHE CANT CAST SPELLS ANYMORE, HER POWERS ARE LOST!

a CURSH! NOT A CURSH!

What in the criss angel mindfreak is going on in here on this day? Who are they? And why is the broad such a bitch...oh is she the mom? My bad. Pops seems nice though. Yes, indeed.

Awh, hiii frankie jonasss. 🥰

Oh here we go with the eating again. If i have to see him flex his jaw one more time i’m gonna go feral. And on the usual, loud and obnoxious noises like the ones he is making when he takes a bite, or chew or swallow food/a drink like the who fucking milk debacle. But he just makes it okay? Maybe its just my eating disorder bias coming into play but how can someone be sexy while eating, or smug? Like huh???

‘Why dont you like me?’ WHY DO YOU CARE CHARLES, GODDAMN IT

Is he playing the sad boi card reallyyy? You want someone to say thank you? Put yourself to good use then. I can think of a lot of ways you can use that mouth better than going on these strange mini-monolgues like some tortured writer with a kink for control...and breatheee

And she’s back with the Eleven telekinesis, sweet kat that is a meer you have running water! Pfft she is actually dressed like eleven too, like what. Oh wait did i just uncover the plot?

Breaking News: Eleven holds a whole town hostage.

Jesus with Charles eating, Mary getting the sudden urge commit arson, miss daddy looking so fucking fine that i would literally throw myself in front of a bus just to get her attention, and uncle X with his weird theatre act: my blood pressure must be through the roof

Wow hes got a temper, but poor connie, shes a hot mess lmaooo

Oh god...oh god okay this is happening, oh wow, you didn't even get through dinner first charles jesus. Listen, i never give choking up on the first date but if i had the chance...i don't want any sausages other than his, i said what i said

and it keeps going?? ummmmmm i ummmmmm, i don’t have words. I was not warned of this savagery and i don’t know if i’m going to be able to write for anyone other than Charles for a whillllleeee, hun, apologies

Good to know he also uses his super soldier senses in another universe to sense a fire deep in his loins like the dramatic king he is

Now he is driving away and laying on the horn, nice

Oh ho ho, yessssss my coffee shop baddie, my black coffee queeeeeennn Stelllaaaaa. She said, Superhero mode real quick.

ummmm uncle x with the sick mustache...thats certain death? I mean if you are into that sort of thing, have at it.

Okay still driving, people are crying over the bed burning into dust, the heavily disable man is still smoking the good stuff...got it.

Big red truck go Honk, Honk.

Oh here come all the old, white men. Lovely.

‘oh-hooo yeah, thats a fireeeee’ as far as old white men go, that was pretty fucking funny to me

Yeah its gonna be in the arms of the angels real soon if you girls dont get the fuck out????

‘We’re firemen’ and i’m a homo, you want a gingerbread cookie or something? put out the damn fire PLEASE 💀

Ummm you’re too late, i was already wet before you got that camera spray shot, dawg, oh but that poor camera guy lol

AND WEI’RE GOONA LETIT BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN, everybody its a singalong

hi, yeah...fuck off, jim

NO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES YOU KNOCKED OVER STELLA MY COFFEE MAMA

charles, you greedy bastard i dont know if should be ashamed when i say that i would still let him top me quite violently even still

Wow this rave got out of hand really fast, i blame marilyn manson

another day, another professor X 😪🔫💀☠️��🔪 𝚛𝚒𝚙, 𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡

i swear to go if anything happens to either my coffee mama or baby miss daddy i will reign hellfire.

Oh so it takes a gunshot for Charles to do a 360 running man but not a jay gatsby meets canadian, hockey riot, emo rave. Gotcha. Hes a man with a code.

That’s what you get for hoeing after your cousin, constance. This is all your fault!

Ending

Timeskip: Ooohhh, yesturrrrdayyyy all my troubles seems so far away--

hunny that ain’t the moon, thats your super secret boho alter

Noooo the kitchennnn, that was my favourite room, other than the bathroom for obvious reasons, I hope the milk cartons are okay...👀

I guess meerkat isn't getting her num-nums, and charles is just going to have to live with charred fruit if he decides to come back

FRANKIE JONAS! THANK GOD!

Oohhere'ss the tea, it's about damn time! I called it! I knew ms variant mongoose was the one who did the fucky things! But i was shocked to find out that Mary was the favourite child over connie, hmm very much bad parenting

ooooh, knock knock, is it charlie-boy? oh, thats disappointing, its just that gossip chick and her husband, boooooo

Never again...never. We get it baby daddy. 

oh? another knock? HAHAHAHAHA ITS THE FIRE GUY LMAOOO, what a king. He reminds me of stan lee!

What aare these people doing, they aren't goddess you give offerings to so that your crops will be plentiful, fuck off man. ANOTHER KNOCK..

and i opp-- herreeeees charlie!

‘friends’ sir you were halfway in her pantaloons, stop trying to act all innocent, the fuck. Wow hes really going for it huh? 

did he just rip the chain off? Oh charles relax, its door, you don't need to moan like that.

Uhm, i love connie, so fuck you charles you twisted, manipulative burnt cornstalk of a human being. Oh yeah throw a hissy fit, that's real attractive, keep going, she’ll totally say yes.

Oh wait NO DON'T DO THAT, NO THAT'S A DOOR. And another door? NO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY DADDY ALEXANDRA, SHES MINE. 

YOU LITTLE BITCH BOY, GET OFF! WTF!

:O 

*standing ovation* give it up for meer-to-the-kat, bravo kid! OH NO HES DEAd, YOU CAN STOP NOW

hahahaha guess whos deep in the garden now, Charles.

Ooh and we are back to start, nice. Children, she's a seasoned murder, might wanna chill on the whole bit you got going on.

Good, smile andddd scene!

Final Thoughts

Okie Dokie, I actually liked this movie a lot.

The acting was absolutely phenomenal, especially on Alexandra’s Daddario and Taissa Farmiga’s part, the characters were so well played. They focused in on so different points of view in this story that it captured the chaos that they were living individually and as a group under one roof. It constantly kept you on edge with the strange nuances in their dialogue, unnerving pauses and the progression of the condition of each character. 

It was great. The aesthetic was there, the small but necessary breaks with dark humour really kept the story flowing and most of all, the fervour. It was everywhere, in their emotions or outbursts like Charles at the dinner table and on the stairs, or the way the townspeople kept adding fuel to their own personal hell. And I must admit, it's hard to make characters like Jim the firefighter relevant, but every person that this story involves has a distinct purpose and significance to the plot.

The only negative thing I could think of was I just wish there was more, I wanted it to be longer so that the small gaps in the movie could have been powerful. Okay, what else. Yes, Charles Blackwood, despite all of...that, will make a great character for me to touch on and has a lot of interesting qualities that I will be sure to tap into. Oh! And the only reason why no one else is getting the stan award was that my coffee mama was the only character who wasn't off the rails or just a terrible waste of human life! We stan!

Hoped you enjoyed this and my questionable thought process, I’m gonna go now...bye lol

Overall Score: 8.5/10

🏆  Honorary Stan Award: Stella Ella Ola, Clap Clap Clap. Periodt.