#dont be mad at argyle for saying transexual the term transgender didnt exist in the 80s

[imhyperfixatingrn]

Lil drafted story abt Jargyle and Jonathan's gender identity. I can't write for shit, bear with me.

Jonathan looked outside the vans window, smoking on the blunt as he distantly listened to Argyle rambling or humming or something like that. He's been doing a lot of thinking lately, a lot of thoughts that gave him this antsy edge that even the weed had a hard time getting rid of. It always helped though, and Argyles company helped too.

He realized Argyle had put that cheesy song on, the one he had played over and over for a week now. And when he wasn't playing it on tape he had been humming it, everywhere he went. Not that on song "Pass the dutchie", no this one was about love, which wouldn't be surprising because Argyle had a big sweet soft heart, when you got to know him.

"Something happens when I'm head over heals hm-hm.."

He heard his friend sing to himself, along with his tape that started to get glitches because of how much it was played.

"Why have you been listening to that song on loop? Didn't take you for a Tears for Fears guy.." Jonathan asked. And when he spoke he realized he was higher than he thought he was.

Argyle looked over at him like he almost forgot Jonathan was here in the first place.

" I don't know dude, sometimes, love songs, they get me all dreamy and shit, guess I'm a hopeless romantic."

Oh, and that made Jonathan's heart a little warm. Argyle, once you got to know him, was a sweet, kind, selfless guy, who was full of love to give out to everyone he met. That man didn't have a single bad bone in his body.

And sometimes Jonathan found himself wondering what it would be like to be with Argyle, in a romantic way. Since Argyle had so much love to give, and Jonathan realized after his breakup with Nancy that he was kind of affection-deprived. And that's how he came to the conclusion that he was probably queer, and probably crushing hard on his best friend.

"So... What, you got like, a crush right now? That's why you get all cheesy with this song?" He asked, tried not to let anything show outside of pure curiosity, no hope, no disappointment, no personal interest in the answer.

Argyle sighed dramatically, a whole cloud of smoke escaped his mouth and he closed his eyes for a second. Jonathan started to stress, why would he react like that? Did he not want to talk about it? Should Jonathan just shut up, like usual? Definitely.

"I feel like I like most people I meet, you know, man?" Argyle said after reopening his eyes. He still said that with his lighthearded tone so Jonathan untensed.

But, no, he did not know what Argyle meant. Most 'people' he met? Why would he say 'people' and not chicks? Because then Jonathan counted as a person he had met and that might have meant that Argyle was also... Not straight. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe Jonathan was delusional.

"But enough about me, brochacho, I can see you've been worrying your pretty little head about something lately. What's up dude?"

Again, Jonathan be damned, for a man as high as a kite 24/7, Argyle had the observation skills of the century. And he knew how to help people so, might as well.

Jonathan knew he would never talk about it if it wasn't for the weed making it seem like a normal thing, and the fact that he knew Argyle and Argyle was chill about everything so...

"Well.." He started, unsure and tried to organize his thoughts. "Have you ever felt like, you know, like you don't feel connected to being a man? I don't know how to say it, um..."

Once he said it out loud, it sounded way less normal and way more queer than he thought. He didn't want to make that a big deal, obviously, but this weird feeling in the back of his head was getting a bit more annoying, the longer he couldn't figure it out.

Argyle turned around towards the back of the van, grabbed a bag of chips, opened it and put it between the both of them, the munchies kicking in he assumed.

"Hm." Argyle ate a chip and fought out every single word in his response, with a look of focus on his face. "Well, I've read abt transsexuals in a library in L.A. Do you feel like a chick instead of a dude?

He said that with such a calm and so genuinely that Jonathan wanted to sob. How was he so lucky to have met this golden guy who made his life better everyday?

"No, I, um... it's like I don't feel like a guy, but, like, I don't feel like a girl either... Sorry it's stupid, I just.."

Jonathan backtracked, he felt dumb. he thought a guy feeling like a girl or vice versa would make actual sense, even though he had never heard of it before. But someone feeling like nothing, feeling like neither, that sounded so foreign, like something that he made up in his own stupid brain.

"No, no, brochacho, I don't know much about it but I've heard of people who feel like neither, or both, or it's more complicated than that it's like, like a spectrum, dude. But you don't have to be anything. You can just be Jonathan."

'You can just be Jonathan.'

This time he was going to sob for real. He felt small tears in the corner of his eyes, not enough to actually start crying but he was well on his way. God, how did he manage to find someone like Argyle and actually maintain that friendship. He felt like he would be nowhere and lost in life without these warm brown eyes to watch over him like an angel.

He just plonged forward, ignoring the dying bag of chips between them, and wrapping himself on Argyle like he was his lifeline and he was drowning, which was how he felt, on the daily.

"Hey, dude, you're okay, I... I'm here,"

Argyle was probably confused, considering Jonathan was never the one initiating physical contact, even though he was touch starved.

Jonathan got himself off Argyle, returning to his space but still having his body turned towards his best friend, and now they were closer than they had realized.

"How did you know so much, about the gender stuff...?"

"Well, I read about it while I was figuring my own shit out, dude."

Jonathan froze. What did that mean? That Argyle was somehow 'gender-queer' also, or something else? Figuring his sexuality?

The questioning look on Jonathan's must have been too evident because Argyle explained:

"I told you I like everyone, not litteraly, but I can like dudes and dudettes and others, no matter the gender, no matter the junk, you know? I also fall in love all the time so that too."

Jonathan swallowed, his heart beating a bit fast for his liking. So that meant Argyle was, what? Bisexual or something like that. Definitely not straight. Jonathan's mind flared with hopes that he tried to shut down.

"Hm. I am too, I mean, not exactly like you but I'm queer too, I like both, I think. I'm still not sure about everything."

Argyle had given such a clear perfect explanation and Jonathan was rambling, he sounded Iike he didn't know a single thing about himself today.

"Yeah I gathered, brochacho." Argyle said, lighthearded, chuckling a bit.

What? What had given his sexuality away? Or was it the whole gender conversation? It didn't make sense.

Again Argyle sensed the questions hanging in the air.

He grabbed Jonathan's cheek with a firm but gentle touch, looked him right in the eyes with a big smile.

"It's the way you look at me, dude."

Then he slightly turned Jonathan's head to the side and kissed his cheek, like it was normal, usual behavior, like he had done it a thousand time before. Jonathan gasped and felt heat rise in his face, his heart was beating like crazy, he felt helpless and yet envolepped in happiness. Argyle released his cheek with a content expression and started slowly gathering his stuff.

"Well, brochacho, I don't wanna leave you so soon but I gotta get back to work so... I'll call you tonight, talk more, whaddya say dude?"

Jonathan could only smile shyly and nod, like an idiot. He really didn't know where he would be without this gem of a person that was Argyle, he didn't think he would ever fall in love properly but, in the end, he did, and it felt so incredibly idle.

I never find out till I'm head over heels...💕