#dream academy emily

[lara635kookie]

My Opinions on Dream Academy:

The Contestants:

Top 10:

1. Sophia:

THE IT GIRL. She's an ultimate ace. She sings, she dances, she can do it all. There's nothing she can't do. Everything you can think, Sophia can do. She cooks and she is so well-spoken, articulated and sophisticated(maybe because her dad is a well-known filipino politician), definitely leader vibes. She is so caring and kind with everyone and it's just so talented! Sometimes, I even wonder if she's human! Sophia Elizabeth G. Laforteza, real human beings got to have flaws! Why don't you have any???

2. Lara:

She serves vocals, and dance, and visual, and VOCALS. She just has so much attitude. I don't know how to explain it but she has an aura, a whole vibe around her that just makes you want to watch her more. She just seems so confident(see what I did there) and she just looks like a sassy boss ready to run the world. She deserves all the good things in the world!

3. Daniela:

She can do it all! She can sing well and dance almost flawlessly. Definitely competing with Megan for Main Dancer position. Having said that, I knew she was popular and talented, but she never really got much my attention. I feel neutral about her. My only problem with her is that, no:She does not represent latam. Katseye does not have a member that represents latin america. That would have been the case only if Samara from Brazil or Celeste from Argentina(or both) made it to the final lineup. "Latina" is not just some label you can go and identify yourself as. In the latin community there is a general consent when someone can be considered latino or not and Daniela does not meet all the requirements. You don't need to be born in a latin country but If you don't know how to speak portuguese(brazil's official language), french(haiti's official language) or spanish(all the other latin america's countries official language) in a higher level than what Daniele gives, don't have a close connection to latin america(parents or grandparents) and never been to one latin america country and don't know and understand their culture and at least a few of its deepest aspects from UP CLOSE and their story with collonization, legacy and the current overall situation of the continent and reality of the people who live there, you're not latino. Simple as that(and as far as I'm concerned, it works like that for basically anywhere in the world, with little variations). Daniela's level of Spanish so far seems to be the basics of the basic. Me, a brazilian, native portuguese speaker, that watched many spanish speaking shows like Violetta, Soy Luna, Bia, Soy Franky, Kally's Mashup, Club 57, etc, I seem to have a better spanish than her. Also, Daniela knows Cuban music and dances from her household...What about Venezuela? Has she never been to any of those countries? Not even once? Music and dancing styles are only two aspects of the culture, what about the rest? What does she know about it? And knowing about the USA's education system, specially in regards to geography, I wonder if she can even point out Cuba and Venezuela on a map. And y'all can't blame me for being skeptical about it. Everybody knows USA are made fun of and seen as an international joke because of how dumb their education system is and how low the overall citizen knowledge is(some americans themselves recognize it). I know there are stupid people everywhere in the world, but USA is something else. Just watch "* type continent here * according to Americans" and "What is the dumbest thing an American has ever said to you?", you'll be surprised. I know we can not generalize and not all Americans are like this, but you can't deny there is a reason why USA has that kind of content made about them the most. It is a real problem and I hope they can fix it soon.

Back to the latina topic, take a look at Rachel Zegler, Jenna Ortega and Anya Taylor-Joy for example. Rachel Zegler doesn't represent Colombia and Jenna Ortega doesn't represent Mexico but Anya Taylor-Joy represents Argentina. That because unlike Rachel and Jenna, Anya Taylor-Joy speaks fluent spanish and lived in Argentina until she was six years old and still travels there from time to time. Rachel and Jenna have latino parents. That's it. That's all. Unlike Anya, that is not enough to make them fully latina.

"Oh but in the US only being descendent already counts and..." Exactly. In the US. In the latino countries, that are the ones that should be taken into account because they are the latinos, if someone like Daniela says they are latino in a latino country the real latinos will laugh at them. Just because you have the "stereotypical latina look" that doesn't make you latina(which is proven that now that being latina is considered "trendy", a lot of girls try to copy the superficial latina look of what they think latina girls look like reinforcing sterotypes of what they think being latina means and people comment "gosh you are so latina")because in latin america, "latino" is not an ethnicity:Latinos comes in all packages:White, black, brown, due to collonization and the mix of europeans, indigenous people, asians and black people. What Daniela does is the same thing as a brazilian girl whose parents moved from Japan to Brazil and speak japanese fluently but the girl is born in Brazil and thinks she's so japanese just because she has a japanese appearence, speaks basic japanese, watches anime and listens to j-pop. Same thing with Daniela thinking she is latina just because she "looks" latina, her spanish skills so far are ordinary and she knows some latino songs(you can't speak FOR them if you can't speak TO them).

The term "Latin"(not the language) was first used in France to refer to people from Latin America. Other countries that speak languages that came from Latin(Spanish, portuguese, french, Italian, romanian, catalan, etc) aren't called "latinos" because they already had denominations of what their people were called before. So the original concept of the word is "any individual BORN in any country in the american continent that speaks a language that came from latin is latino." But the USA only considers the spanish speaking(aka hispanics) countries latino. So even though Brazilians(lusophones) and Haitians(I think the linguistic term would be francophone but I'm not sure tho) speak portuguese and french respectively and are very much in the american continent, the United States Law doesn't consider us latinos, when we clearly are and all of the other latino countries consider us latinos too. So forgive us for not wanting to conform to what americans think we are. Sometimes, the rules and standards the US set for themselves aren't a thing in the whole entire world, can y'all believe that??? Shocking for the center of the world, USA, the only America that exists because the name isn't United States of (the continent) America(some basic geography and history lessons would really do some americans good). In Brazil, we have memes that joke that being considered latino in the US is the easiest thing in the world:Have at least one of your great grandparents born in a hispanic latin america country(bonus points if it's Cuba, Mexico or even their own state Puerto Rico because they are pretty much the only ones the average american knows because they are the ones closer to the US), speak three words of basic spanish and call it a day. Congrats, you're latino now. Some americans really think they know better what being a latino is than latino people themselves. You don't. Thank u, next.

And before anyone says I'm a disguised hater, I love all the woman mentioned, just some of them don't represent latin america as much as they try to force it upon people, and actual latinos(not just from Brazil and Argentina but also from Colombia, Costa Rica, Panama, Bolivia, Chile, Ecuador, Mexico, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Peru, Uruguay, Nicaragua, Haiti, etc) have the right to not feel represented by them. The latino's point that Katseye does not have latin america representation is valid because it is considered true by latino people and what latinos consider latino and not what USA citizens consider latino. Because I can assure you they are different. Daniela is considered latina only in the US. She wouldn't be considered latina anywhere else. For us, she's just American.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with being American or only having one nacionality(her mixed ethnicity still doesn't make her latina). I recognize Daniela's talent and I think after the group ends she will be able to establish herself easily in the industry as the next big soloist. I can see her pulling off something similar to what Selena Gomez or Camila Cabello do.

4. Yoonchae:

Of course, they needed a korean but Yoonchae and Sophia are two that I think could be more successful in a kpop group(I would love Sophia to join Gehlee Dangca and Elisia as the filipinas of kpop). I do think the group needed east asians, I'm just surprised any korean girl would apply to this reality show instead of just applying to be a hybe or any other agency trainee and be probably more successful in a kpop group. Like Nayoung for example. According to the judges she wanted to be eliminated to be a soloist, which is probably true, now that she is participating in Girls on Fire. If she got in, she will probably be a soloist in Korea after it ends. Theories say that Hybe always wanted Yoonchae because she is younger and fits more the korean beauty standards than Nayoung, but Nayoung was more popular among the public, so they invented this whole soloist thing to kick Nayoung out. Others said that they always wanted Nayoung on the group to debut Yoonchae on either a kpop group with Hinari, Ua, Karlee, Mei and Marquise or another kpop gg who would have like New Jeans vibes, but Nayoung wanting to be a soloist frustrated their plans and they had to go for Yoonchae. I never believed any of those, because they just don't make sense to me. I did have Nayoung as a favorite and barely noticed Yoonchae before mission 3, but I like her. She's nice and her entrance was predictable. Her place was basically guaranteed but she deserved anyway.

6. Megan:

My fave since the show started. She was my pick since the very beginning. She's an icon, she's a legend and she's the moment. Her dance will slay on the group(and I imagine her raps too since I think Manon and her will be the rappers, it's a position that fits them the most comparing to the other members, maybe Daniela will rap too). She has everything and I love her with all my heart.

6. Manon:

She is a visual and a decent dancer. I think her husky voice is very unique, just kinda unstable and a little bit shaky most of the time. But she has the time to train it and she has improved a lot in comparison to the start of the show, same thing with her lack of facial expressions in performances, which is understandable because she was a model and has a very mature look, which is probably why she always had more of a serious face and overall vibe. Speaking of her model career, I hope it's still a thing after her debut. She passes me some Naomi Campbell, Winnie Harlow and Anok Yai vibes and I think it would be a very profitable industry for her to keep being successfull in the US after the group ends. Usually reality show groups have a temporary contract of 2-5 years, which is a good amount of time to Manon to guarantee her future after the group is over. I can't picture her as a soloist(at least for now), but I think she would slay as model(both photos and runway) and I can definitely see her potential as an actress with proper training as well.

My biggest fear towards Manon on the group was the same as Yoonchae:Her being kinda isolated/left aside by the other girls. Yoonchae because of the language barrier and Manon because she seems to be more of an introvert and reserved kind of person. Compared to Manon, Samara seemed closer to Yoonchae, Megan and specially Sophia and Lara during the show. The only girls I can think of that Manon was very close with are Nayoung and Iliya(who revealed on Tik Tok she was the only one that voted she wanted Manon on the group with her). And because of Manon's personality seemingly being a little bit more closed, which is understandable since Manon was the second oldest girl in the show(Nayoung being the oldest and Iliya the third oldest). However, the most toxic part of her fandom kept inventing she was hated by some of the other girls because of this, trying to build a victim narrative to favor Manon. As someone who is part of both Manon's fandom and Samara's fandom, I can say both are the ones with the most toxic fans(at least the louder ones), but I think Manon fans are still a little bit worse than Samara's because Manon fans are usually solo stans. Most of them like Manon and Manon only.

(This is actually a lighter one, I say way worse ones, that are so heavy I don't even know if can mention)

Meanwhile, Samara's fans usually also liked Sophia, Lara, Emily, Lexie, Ezrela, Nayoung, Iliya, Mei, Karlee, Celeste, Megan and Yoonchae(mainly, but I saw a few supporting the other girls as well). If you go to Instagram, my point will be proven. All the girls who commented on Samara's post saying goodbye to Dream Academy were treated nicely by her fans. Meanwhile Adéla, who said she congratulated all the Katseye members in private and not everything needs to be on the internet to be true and to have happened, when she went to congratulate Manon on her Katseye post on Manon's instagram, most comment replies were hateful(and Samara fans are the most toxic ones? Alright, I'll pretend I believe you). Some Manon fans need to decide themselves. You call her out for not congratulating Manon online, and when she changes her mind about it and does it people don't like either? What do you want from the girl man? Adéla hates Manon because she didn't post a photo with her? She didn't post a photo with Yoonchae either! And that could have a number of reasons:maybe they aren't that close, maybe Manon and Yoonchae didn't want to for some reason and that's fine! There were even people saying they would, quote unquote, "k*ll Mei's short ass" because she didn't congratulate Manon right away and only said "congratulations" in japanese with a fire and heart emoji. They don't need to congratulate her right the second she posts! And if they just want to like the post and not comment anything, that's fine too. It doesn't mean they hate her!

(Toxic Manon stans keep Samara's name out of their mouths challenge lmao)(Some of them have this victimising paranoia that all of the other girls hated Manon that just doesn't make sense! They have no evidence to back it up! Manon is beautiful and talented, she doesn't need victimhood!)(This inexcusable mentality is not healthy and I'm sure Manon and any other girl wouldn't like her fans attacking their fellow contestants and friends using her name)(Y'all don't see Samara or any of the other girls fans for that matter doing this as much as they do)(If everyone thought like that, we would be doomed)(For example, Daniela and Lara started to follow Samara on Instagram a while after the show was over, just because something isn't done imediately it doesn't mean it's fake, it doesn't mean they hate Samara, some ppl should stop making assumptions based on no proof)(They act like Manon is the most hated girl from the show, which is just not true)(And it's ironic since a good part of the other girls haters were Manon fans) ("Why did you comment on * insert random contestant name * and is commenting on Manon just now?" Maybe because the other contestant post was reccomended first? Y'all don't know how Instagram works? There are a countless of possible reasons, this doesn't prove they hate Manon)

My other problem is that some Manon fans, specially the ones on twitter(I refuse to call it X) couldn't just celebrate Manon's debut without mentioning about how Samara was "a loser who would never be successful because she got rejected by Now United and Dream Academy". Have y'all never heard about black solidarity? You don't need to put Samara down to praise Manon and vice-versa. But something I hate about both fandoms are the rivalizing of both girls. The two fandoms that should be united the most against racism(because I've seen racist comments attacking both girls, Samara just a little bit more because she is a black latina and Manon is a black european) are the ones fighting the most! It wasn't supposed to be like that! I mean, look at these photos:

If they hated each other so much they wouldn't even be able to stand the other being close too them. Samara wouldn't look happy for her along with the other girls. In the video below Manon is jokingly doing the choreography of Break Free for Samara and she is laughing:

https://youtube.com/shorts/mUi5_Yu4mUg?si=GDHzqKWPgQuX4bVo

And people swear on their graves they hate each other solely based on the fact they don't follow each other on Instagram lmao. People just because you don't follow every single person you know that doesn't mean you hate them, sometimes you're just not that close/intimate to them or their content enough to follow them and that is totally fine. You don't need to follow anyone if you don't want to.

Another accusation is that Samara hates her because of the video Manon walks in Marquise and Samara's direction and Marquise passes through her to go hug Sophia and Samara passes through her to go hug Yoonchae. First of all:It's most likely she was going for Marquise, which Manon seemed to be a little bit "closer" with in comparison to Samara. Second:Manon didn't seem to be that close to any of the eliminated contestants. Third:She hugged Emily and Ezrela duo and then Samara and Marquise duo before going to hug the other Katseye members. Fourth:Even if she was close to Samara and Marquise, Sophia and Marquise were one of the closest friend duos of the show and Samara seemed quite close with all the asian members, but specially Nayoung, Ua and Mei. So Samara is undoubtedly closer to Yoonchae than she is to Manon. Fifth:If they didn't want to hug Manon again, they are in their right. They don't need to hug Manon or any other contestant if they don't want to. Maybe they aren't that close to a certain girl or maybe they feel uncomfortable with hugs/have a sensibility to physical contact and y'all should respect their choices whatever its based on.

Sixth:People got an specific take of the live finale out of context to make Samara look like "the villain" once again(are we even surprised at this point?). Samara goes for Yoonchae first but SAMARA AND MANON HUG RIGHT AFTER THE YOONCHAE AND SAMARA HUG. Then Samara is hugged by Lara, Sophia and next by Daniela. Then the host dismisses the eliminated girls. Megan is the only one who didn't got to hug not just Samara but also Ezrela and Marquise as well because she spent a lot of time conforting Emily.

After Marquise and Sophia's very long hug, Sophia and Samara hug while Marquise and Manon hug. Then Marquise and Daniela hug and the host asks the eliminated contestants to leave.

Emily is hugged first by Lara, then Megan while Manon is conforting her(couldn't see if they hugged but probably did) and hugged last by Yoonchae. I was surprised because Megan didn't left Emily's side, even when they weren't hugging. I didn't knew they were that close but they are two very good dancers so it makes sense. I found that very cute.

Ezrela is hugged first by Daniela and then by Lara. She talks a little with Yoonchae and Sophia while holding hands before the time the host gave them to say goodbye was over.

I think the girls clearly needed more time to say goodbye. Maybe they could have done it after the show to release later. I didn't got to see the ENFP girls Emily and Sophia hug(and as a fellow ENFP I didn't like it), my antifragile girls Samara and Megan hug, my dancing duo Emily and Daniela hug, etc. And I wanted to hear what they talked to each other too! Anyway, you can't have anything you want in life, am I right? That's all on Manon, let's move on.

7. Samara:

The girl had it ALL:The visuals, the dance, the public and SPECIALLY THE VOCALS(she always passed me some Beyoncé, Rihanna and Tyla vibes)(remember that it's my personal opinion, I'm not comparing). Even Sophia said she had one of the best voices she's ever heard:

(And the fact that this interview happened AFTER the controversy, speaks volumes, we all need a true friend like Sophia in our lives)(I think Sami and Soph friendships are one of the cutest of the show, when Samara couldn't dance Break Free because of her knee injury Sophia's parents commented on one post about it wishing her to get well soon and calling her "Sam", it was so wholesome)(I like that popular saying that goes:"If there are 10 people at a table, a na*ist arrives, sits and no person gets up and leaves, there are 11 na*ists at the table." You can't tolerate the untolerable. It applies to any kind of prejudice in today's society. People are known for the company they keep. If Samara really was such a terrible person, then all of the other girls would be too for still being friends with her)

I feel like Hybe was sorta kinda testing if they would push her to debut. They knew she was going to be popular because she is brazilian, arguably the most engaged public of all time(there isn't compilations of brazilian crowds in shows for nothing)(also Brazil is on the top 10 countries that consume k-pop music and the overall market of the genre the most along with South Korea, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, China, Indonesia, USA, Malaysia and I don't remember the last one but it is either Mexico, India or Canada at least it was like that last time I checked) but she also had the talent and the experience, since she trained with Now United. I particularly think they thought on pushing her to debut after she carried antifragile team b on her back(will come back to that later) since a short while later they allowed her to dance Back For More with Kai and shortly after some desperate toxic stans thought it was unfair to the other girls and tried to bring her down using her Tik Tok likes. (People have to understand reality shows are unfair, yes, some more than others but there will always be unfairness to it, even if little, and on one like this, it wouldn't be different. People vote for nationality. Samara, Celeste and Sophia had the skills, but take Universe Ticket as an example:Vanesya wasn't ready to debut but still ranked high before being eliminated by the judges because of the indonesian public votes. So of course the girls from smaller nations, nations that don't consume hybe content that much and girls that have too "common" and "uninteresting" nacionalities/ethnicities/backgrounds according to the public will come behind. To keep people invested, they need a story.)

Anyway, the videos Samara liked were taken out of context by people who don't even speak portuguese. Because not just brazilians but native and portuguese speakers overall(People from Portugal, Angola, Mozambique, etc) know there is nothing wrong about the videos. I watched the videos and there is nothing special about them at all, really.

Also, just because she liked something, that doesn't mean she agrees with EVERYTHING that is being said. Not everything in life it's so black and white, people. Sometimes she only partially agrees, agreeing only with specific parts. And Brazil is known for having a very dark and acid sense of humor. With anyone and anything. Including Brazil and brazilians themselves. "Oh so I'm allowed to mock/tease/make fun of Brazil and brazilians then?" Yeah, you can if you want to but Brazil will fight back HARDER. Like this:

(The brazilian humor can be heavy sometimes. We are the type of society that overall believes looking at our problems positively with jokes or in other ways of comedy make them less painful to bare. The famous "laugh not to cry". As the people were saying from the indian videos:"You shouldn't disrespect this country's culture if you don't know it, don't understand a thing about it and never been there" but I guess it only applies to certain specific cultures out there and not actually all cultures like some tend to preach)

Besides, the indian video could be doing a social commentary on hygienic and sanitary questions(which I interpretated that way because Brazil and India share some similarities in that sense) and how some foreigners feel about different foods, judging them by their appearence. It's not enough to assume she hates India or thinks of India as a gross country.

Samara:* Likes a video about SOME, not all, indian street food *

"OH MY GOD she despises all of indian culture, you anti-indian, xenophobic and racist!"

Samara:* Likes explanatory content with historical information about the context of the Israel and Palestine conflict that is not taking any sides *

"Wanting to be informed about geopolitics and a relevant topic about what's going on in today's world is being a pro-war, islamophobic sionist/zionist! You should be the one getting bombed and dying, not palestinian children!" (Samara follows Kehlani on Instagram, who is clearly an active pro-palestine celebrity, if some of y'all have bothered looking further instead of just believing doubtful sources you would know)(The US wants to ban Tik Tok from the country once again because according to them the app is making young people anti-Israel, so if some of y'all will invent lies at least be cohesive and coherent about it)

Samara:* Likes harmless stuff about the bible because she is just a regular christian like the majority of the brazilian population *

"Look at her, she is a conservative, extremist, conspirationist, intolerant, anti-chinese, anti-russian, religious fanatic Bolsonaro supporter! Shame on you, monkey bitch! Come back to the favela where you belong!"

(Yeah most people were being hypocrites just projecting their own prejudices on her and using it as an excuse to perpetuate them without not even looking for further information to confirm if the allegations were real. According to some of these people twisted logic, it's only wrong when Samara "does" it, but they can go do the "same", or "worst", to her)(And she didn't even do anything, which just makes these people look even more stupid than they were before, if that's even possible)

People, make it make sense! Some things are just thrown in the accusations out of nowhere. Stop hating on a black latina girl for no reason(and somehow the racist xenophobic is her)(and before anyone says I'm "pulling the race card", if the accusations were proven to be true, then people would be right for calling her out on her mistakes regardless of her skin color, but as her fans and members of her family already explained the situation I don't see any other reason to hate on her besides prejudice. Her mom is right:She did nothing wrong. She does not have an issue. She is not problematic. Accept and get over it.)(It's okay if you don't like someone but at least be respectful about it, just ignore their content and leave them alone, it's more simple than it looks like). Just because Samara was complimented directly and individually about her dance, charisma and stage presence by Kim Chaewon of Le Sserafim herself, danced with Huening Kai of TXT(by the time the only girl that met another member of hybe that wasn't le sserafim) and was the third most voted as "girl you want the most in the group with you" with 9 votes by the other contestants(lost to Sophia with 14 votes and Daniela with 12 votes), it doesn't mean her popularity was a threat to your fave. I mean, it kinda did, but spreading rumors and fake news based on invented lies about her is a real low, people should have focused more on their faves instead. People didn't even searched for the traduction of the videos and made assumptions based on nothing. So It's sad Samara didn't get to debut because people couldn't understand portuguese and imagined things.

Hybe clearly did with her the same thing they did to Garam:Tried to poorly clean her image as much as they could until they could kick her out. Because even if the girls are not wrong, they can't have a member who had any kind of polemics before, even after their reputation is cleaned. That's shown in Hybe releases after that:They posted a video that Samara and Lara were hugging and Lara seemingly whispered "I love you" to her:

https://youtube.com/shorts/b9xl67OR_OA?si=qPzW21RZSpFZnloY

And they partnered Samara with Ezrela in mission 3(they carried team wannabe together) which seemed to make them become closer because before that they didn't have much interactions and after it they even spent thanksgiving together after the show was over:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0Chj-tOydx/?igsh=MXFtZzYwdGpvNDVvdQ==

Samara also said that about Ezrela in the same interview Sophia said the phrase above about Samara:

(And they were also seemed very close at the live chat before the finale but people swear Samara has something agaisnt indians and Ezrela dislikes her, unbeliavable)

https://youtu.be/YSDZfOD4JnY?si=l81La_tg40keuNPD

So any of the girls showed any dislike for one another. Maybe some girls weren't that intimate, because there were 20 girls people, of course you're going to be closer to some of them more than the others, but all of them never showed anything but respect and admiration for one another.

Samara had good votes. (Even if the whole world against us we still gave Sami good numbers, that's how powerful we are hahaha)

As you saw, she surpassed both Megan and Ezrela in number of votes, and Manon won her in early voting, but Samara had more live voting. She didn't got in because of the judges that gave Manon a higher score as you can see:

I fully believe they had the lineup ready before the finale. Most reality shows usually do. I watch them already having that in my mindset. Or do you think it was a coincidence to have three girls from each team(Girls Don't Like Girls and Dirty Water) debut and Samara and Manon being on the same one? Hybe wanted to fool the brazilian audience until the very last second, because they know the engagement we have and how dedicated we are as a public(the meme "Brazil Mentioned" is real ppl)(Brazil has the best memes lolol)(Look at Vincent Martella:He was with 385 thousand followers on Instagram, a photo of him with a shirt with "I'm famous in Brasil" viralized an brazilians made him have currently 5,6 million followers, surpassing Tyler James Williams, who is not very fondly of Brazil and Brazil is not very fond of him either because Everybody Hates Chris is a classic in Brazil. In Brazil, everyone watched it. And the minority that didn't, they at least know about it's cultural impact on Brazil. So Tyler is considered ungrateful in Brazil for not liking that we love the series so much according to brazilians. And Vincent actually showed love for Brazil and what happened, happened. That's the power of Brazil).They wanted to fool their whole audience actually, going all like "Which black one we'll pick, 'cause y'all know she's here just so people don't accuse us as racists, because even if they were untalented we would get one of them because of their skin color, but two is already too much". Sadly that is how the world works people. We gotta get used to deal with it for now and fight so it can change in thw future. Although it didn't work that much, since most latinos were accusing Hybe of xenophobia against them ever since Celeste's elimination, what only grew even stronger after Samara's elimination(proving once again my point about latinos non-acceptance of Daniela as a latina. For most latinos, Daniela represents the US and the US only).

(People try to force Gisele Bündchen, the one and only ubermodel, one category above super model, which as a category created for her, the woman who was the highest paid model for 15 years, as a german or a french woman; people try to force that Pelé isn't the football eternal king and pioneer that changed the sport forever and made it what it is today when he is the only player that has three world cups having the same amount or more world cups than some countries out there; people try to force Adriana Lima as old and ugly just because she is aging just like everyone else because she is a human being and still look gorgeus, just older; and I could go on all day. People really hate it when brazilians are the best/good on something. Sorry but we are the fifth biggest country in the world, we have a big population, great athletes and artists, and that is not changing)(Every country has something good and bad about themselves and we shouldn't debunk or belittle them but aknowledge their good points)

I mean, as someone who watched a lot of reality shows, I know there is always the insanely talent and popular girl that doesn't debut because "superior forces" don't want her there. Kaeun and Chowon from Produce 48, Chanelle from R U Next, Kawaguchi Yurina from Girls Planet, Bae Haram from Universe Ticket and now Samara from Dream Academy makes it to the list.

Brazil was the one that made the prettiest edits on Weverse and the posts about Samara were overall the ones with the most likes on Instagram during the show(Sophia's posts were the most liked overall on youtube). Dream Academy lost followers on Insta when they eliminated Celeste and lost even more when they eliminated Samara, that is the real latina power right there. We perpetuated SoLaSa (Sophia, Lara and Samara had THE CHEMESTRY, it's sad they didn't got to debut together) which was a voting strategy to help Samara because most brazilian fans voted for all the girls in team wannabe, which made Ezrela and Emily surpass Samara in mission 3 rankings, Ezrela staying in 4, Emily staying in 7 and Samara in 8. Ezrela and Emily were already quite popular so with the help of brazilians they surpassed Samara and as Ua's performance in Wannabe was not her best one, so she got eliminated. So basically the strategy was:Sophia and Lara are going to end I'm top 2 anyway, so let's vote for them and Samara to try to get Samara in third. Voting for these three would stop lower ranking girls to surpass Samara. Some Manon fans tried to force SoLaMa (which is funny because it looks like the portuguese phrase "só lama" which means "just mud" and like, we know they meant Manon but it was poorly elaborated and executed because "Ma" can also stand for Marquise).

Of course, I don't hate Manon. I am happy for her and all the girls because they all deserve it. However, in terms of talent Samara was one of the most talented ones, definitely an all-rounder. She gave a better performance than Manon in all performances(specially Dirty Water). Manon is great, Samara is just better. And all of the girls are talented, some girls are just more talented than others, like Sophia and Lara, which is normal. As someone who is in both fandoms, I can say Samara is a better dancer and BY FAR a better vocalist than Manon. So I believe she would have been chosen instead of Manon if it weren't for the controversy because she is a better performer than Manon and did better on the performances that were being judged. Of course I wanted her to debut and I would switch Manon for Samara if I could. Or also keep Manon and switch Daniela for Samara because we would actually have proper unarguable latin america representation and the US would still have Lara and Megan to represent them(but of course they needed a contestant who was just american and half of the group representing the US, half of them representing Asia and one of them representing Europe, how global is that again? Lolol I'm just kidding, take it as a joke people). Anyway, I believe everything happens for a reason. If the girls who are there debuted, that it's because that how it's supposed to be. I am not bitter or salty about it because the other girlies are doing good and the lineup is solid, so I will keep following the other girls on their separate paths because hating on the group or on any girl won't change anything and I hope all the girls are successful on their journeys.

8. Ezrela:

Seeing her and the other contestants smile through the pain was so hurtful. I wish them all the best and a bright future! Hybe needed people of color politically. For the black girl, I do think they were leaning towards Samara at first, but then switched to Manon after the controversy. Before the live finale, Samara always ranked higher than Manon, so it was a no-brainer to figure it out. However, Lara was the indian girl from the start. And I think Ezrela was aware of that. Lara also always ranked higher than her and Ezrela was smiling so much at the finale after being eliminated. Like, I know she is the kind of person with a positive attitude, but Samara and Emily cried and while Marquise didn't cry, she seemed less happy than Ezrela. I admire Ezrela a lot. She is just a fortress, she was just so strong. She was conforting Emily with a smile on her face, Ezrela you're going places! Marquise also conforted Samara when Sami was giving her speech, but in a more discreet way than Ezrela but kudos for both of them for their strength. I would switch Daniela for Ezrela if I could. They are both aces, I just like Ezrela a little bit more. And Ezrela offers Australia/Oceania representation so if they switched Manon for Samara and Daniela for Ezrela, the group would be more global. But again, the lineup we have is not bad. Ezrela said she was the artist that she wanted to be. She seemed fulfilled for everything she learned and proud of Lara and the other girls. She is so mature, I love her and I know she'll make it big.

9. Emily:

Our Main Dancer! One of the girls with the best visuals! I feel like the show tried everything to make her stand out. Putting her with popular contestants on mission 2(Sophia, Lara and Yoonchae) so she could automatocally pass forward with her group without needing to rely on votes like Samara, Megan and other girls did, on mission 3 putting her with a not so popular member(Ua) and a member with a unfairly stained reputation(Samara) so Emily could be benefited once again. Of course, nothing of this is her fault, but she is an american girl that fits basically all of the US beauty stands after all. Because of that, they tried to push her until the last minute but her popularity didn't play in their favor. Don't get me wrong, I love Emily, but I'm not the only one saying this. A lot of people also concluded the same as me. The only thing Emily was kind of lacking was vocals. Her vocals aren't bad, they just could be better. I can see her being very successful as a choreographer, a dancer or even a member for another group. The sky is the limit for her!

10. Marquise:

I didn't know Marquise that much tbh. She didn't stand out to me. What I knew is that she was close with Sophia, Samara, etc. For me, she has always been "the thai girl with red hair". I do find her pretty but back then her skills were outshined by the other girls for me. I do think she was helped in mission 3 when the judges chose to keep her instead of Celeste, who ranked higher. Celeste ended up in 6 and her in 10. Nayoung ranked 3 but allegedly wanted to be a soloist so they had to keep Yoonchae, who ranked 12 because they needed a korean, Ua was 13/last place so she would be eliminated anyway. So the judges eliminated Celeste because according to them Marquise's performance was better, which I do not agree. Yes, I wanted Celeste to participate on the live chat with the girls and see her at the finale doing All The Same(she would look good in both Dirty Water and Girls Don't Like Girls) but at the same time, it was clear that both Celeste and Marquise weren't a want in this group. Both were being used to attract public from Argentina and Thailand, so at the end of the day, whoever they decided to keep for the finale, it wouldn't make a difference.

[captainwaffles]

Had a weird dream(s)

Klaus and Five are living through a criminal minds episode about a dude that cuts the hand and throughs it in a pool (not an episode that I’ve seen, just the vibes you know?). After they rescue them they kind Klaus in a closet and five strapped to a doctor board, they untie his mouth and he says a really nasty inuendo

It shifts to Penelope and Prentiss walking through a follower garden and there’s a tower of a blue person with lungs and stuff all made of flowers

[spencerswh0re]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

A/N - HI!! i love love love spencer reid and i spend most of my time reading fanfics of him, so i thought i would give writing some of my own a shot! this is my first fic (recently, i used to write wattpad fics when i was like 12) so bear with me :))

word count - 1,482

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐀𝐔, 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

spencers life had been hard. there was no point in sugar coating it, he’d been through a lot. being kidnapped, developing a drug addiction, his girlfriend being killed directly in front of him and being to prison were only a handful of the things that had gone wrong in his life. and even after all of this trauma, he still managed to stay the same person. or atleast, mostly the same person.

one big thing had changed after prison and his encounters with cat adams. spencer had always been a hopeless romantic, he dreamed of the day he would meet a nice woman, settle down with her, and live out the life he had always wanted. but after dealing with some confusing feelings for a hitman, he had started to lose hope in ever finding love.

spencer was a 39 year old man, and he had still not found his perfect woman, he was starting to think she didn’t exist.

this was why he gave up. he stopped dating, stopped blushing and stammering whenever he met an attractive woman, and instead, he became charming. it became a common occurrence for spencer reid to spend his evenings in the bar, wooing a woman back to bed with him. he would bid them farewell the next morning, and that would be that. and it worked, it kept him satisfied, for a while.

until it didn’t.

the day you walked into the bullpen of the BAU, things changed for spencer reid.

you were beautiful, easily the prettiest girl he had ever seen, you were young, and had this innocence about you, he knew, from the very beginning, that he wanted you.

it was barely a week after you started on the team when spencer realised why he was so attracted to you.

the team was on the jet home from your first case, it had been a relatively easy one, they had caught the unsub in 2 days, and saved his final victim.

“we shouldn’t even be flying in these conditions” rossi had complained, referring to the heavy rain and strong winds “what if we get struck by lightning?”

just as spencer was about to spit out a random fact about flying during lightning, you beat him to it.

“actually, aircraft’s are designed to deal with lightning strikes, modern planes are designed to spread electric currents through the fuselage and funnel them out through the tail, bypassing the plane interior entirely. the last major accident occurred in 1967, when a stray strike caused a poorly-designed plane’s fuel tank to explode, so even if we were to be struck, which is highly unlikely, we’d be perfectly fine” you had rushed it out quickly, and spencer could tell from your blushing cheeks and shy smile that you were embarrassed over your rambling.

“sorry” you said, quietly, looking down at your hands in your lap.

“hey, reid, it seems y/l/n is a mini version of you, maybe we’ll have to replace you” emily had said, laughing lightheartedly. spencer, however, was stuck in place, eyes locked on you. he couldn’t believe it, he had found out earlier in the week that you were 24, just out of the academy, but you had been put straight into a specialised unit based off of your impressive qualifications. he realised, in that moment, that he didn’t just want you in the way he wants other women, he wanted you for real, he was falling for you.

the plane ride went painfully slowly after that.

a few months later, nothing had changed, except for the fact you had made it more and more difficult for him to keep away from you. ever morning, you would walk straight over to his desk, wishing him a cheery "good morning!" before perching yourself down next to his files and asking him about his night.

he had never been one to talk to his co workers about his sex life, but sometimes he would make an exception, because at least he had stories to be telling, but recently, there hadn't been anything to tell.

the night that they got back from your very first case, the team had gone to the bar to celebrate, after everybody had left, he made his was to the bar for one final drink, and to choose his target for the night, however, his plans had been ruined, when he'd seen you, across the bar, talking to some guy. spencer held back a scoff, he was obviously an asshole, he was tall (yet, not quite as tall as him) and buff. you were clearly feeling uncomfortable, and he knew that you had had one too many, and you weren't in the right state of mind. he walked over, told you it was time to go home, and got you in his car.

you were asleep before he could ask for your address.

after fighting with himself a little, he eventually decided to take you back to his place, you took the bed, he took the couch.

after that night, he hadn't been able to be with anybody else, he hadn't wanted to be with anybody else.

"oh, you know, same old, what about you?" he responded.

"nothing much really, um.. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.." you told him

shit. now he was scared, had he done something to make you upset? had he made his feelings for you too clear and made you uncomfortable? had he-

"I uh- I noticed your spock pop figure on your desk, i've got the entire Star Trek box set at home... I was wondering if you might wanna come over? we can get something to eat, maybe get to know each other better?"

he didn't know what to say, this was y/n y/l/n, the girl he had been pining over for months, and she was asking him out? of course he wanted to say yes, that much was obvious, but he hadn't been in a real relationship since maeve, and even that didn't really count.

you were young, and so innocent, he was tainted, his hands were dirty, his mind haunted by the things he had done in prison, he didn't want to corrupt you.

you obviously took his silence as a no, and quickly jumped back in.

"if not that's totally fine too! I just thought it might be fun"

and just as he was about to politely reject you, he looked into your eyes.

innocent, yes. but there was something else, something that reminded him an awful lot of a feeling he had never truly felt. love. he knew then what he had to do.

"that sounds like fun, y/n, ill come over tonight at 6:00?" he responded with a smile.

"yes! yes! my address is 16 cornelia street, apartment 17."

"excellent, ill be there" he said

and he was.

at 5:57, he was waiting outside of your door, holding a bunch of flowers, and wearing an outfit he had spent far to long picking out. he knew it was a casual thing, and he knew you would just be staying home, so he decided to wear something he had never worn before. sweatpants. he had gone to the store to buy them immediately after work. along with a baggy Star Trek t shirt.

when he finally gathered up the courage to knock, you answered almost immediately, and he was speechless.

you looked beautiful, you were wearing a pair of white sweatpants along with a tight grey vest top, your hair was down, and you were wearing an adorable pair of bunny slippers.

when he finally snapped out of his trance, he stuck the flowers out in your direction with a quiet "these are for you"

your response came quickly, and with a smile "they're beautiful, spencer, thank you. I ordered chinese food, i hope that's alright" you said as you walked into the kitchen to find a vase.

not as beautiful as you. he wanted to say, but he settled for a shy nod and a smile instead.

after dinner, the two of you took a seat of your couch and began watching the first movie.

he wasn't satisfied.

he moved a little bit closer.

still wasnt enough.

he considered pulling out the cringey yawning trick, but decided against it, instead, deciding to touch your pinky with his own.

still, not quite enough.

towards the end of the first movie, you mored close enough so that you could put your had on his chest.

"is this okay?" you whispered, so quiet he could hardly hear you over the TV.

"more than okay" he whispered back, putting his arm around your shoulders to keep to close.

he realised, right there in that moment, that he was done with the girls, and the bars, this, right here, with you in his arms, was exactly where he was supposed to be.

A/N - OKAY!! the ending was slightly rushed, I'm sorry, but I'm very very tired and I have class tomorrow, but I wanted to get this done. if you liked it, let me know, send me requests if you want <3

[reidmotif]

Coffee and Consequences

Summary: Reader joins the BAU, and Spencer seems insistent on being a problem for her.

Request: pls i am such a sucker for angst/smut, can you do one where spencer is closed off and cold to a new recruit, and it upsets her, so she tries to get him to like her, which leads to an argument and confession, with soft smut?

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut/Light Angst (Happy Ending)

Content Warning: Reader POV, little shit Spencer, oral sex (f recieveing), gunshot wound/typical canon violence, unprotected sex

Word Count: 6.1k

Upon starting at the BAU, I believed there was no question about me, especially when it came to my skills and ability to perform my job. From stellar recommendations from my superiors at the Academy, to general demeanor and tact, there was no question about whether or not my success was imminent. Most of the team were more than elated to welcome me to the small family they’d built over the years, despite my younger age than most of them, which I was eternally grateful for. 

Most, being the keyword in that sentence. Since I’d begun, there’d been one thorn in my roses, the bane of my existence, you might say. Spencer fucking Reid. I’m aware of the fact that not everyone could like me, that was a given. I'm an FBI agent, for god’s sake. To expect warmth and friendship from everyone would be naive and lead to disappointment in any given scenario. 

But Jesus Christ, this was getting absolutely ridiculous. 

I consistently replayed the events of our first meeting. In an attempt to make a good first impression, (which seems stupid, in hindsight) I brought coffee to each of my new co-workers, hoping to establish myself as a friendly, non-threatening presence in their lives. I’d covertly asked Emily for help, as within the interviews and background checks required to even be considered for a position in the BAU, there was a certain camaraderie and friendship forged through the continued exposure to each other. 

Emily advised me carefully, understanding the intentions behind the act, and being more than happy to help.  “JJ likes vanilla lattes, nothing too fancy. Rossi is a little simpler, a Caffe Americano.” I spoke, and continued to go through my team’s regular orders, until there was hesitation on a somewhat infamous name, one that I myself was already intrigued by. “Spencer’s an easy order to remember, but you have to make sure you get it right.” 

I found myself nodding, the seriousness of Emily’s words striking me- momentarily finding myself forgetting that they were speaking about something as mundane as coffee. "Emily spoke slowly, as if I was advising a child. 'Reid likes black coffee, but you have to make sure to add extra sugar.'" I nodded quickly, "Alright, black coffee with extra sugar, got it-" Emily interrupted me abruptly. "No, no. You're not hearing me, extra sugar. I mean a lot, okay? Otherwise, he quite literally won't drink it."

I found myself chuckling a little bit, thinking about the image of Spencer Reid I’d built up in my head before I’d even met him. I knew he had been framed and had endured a considerable time in prison. I was also aware of his intelligence, a natural by-product of all the papers he’d written, and how many of his own techniques in geographic profiling were referenced during my time in the Academy. Working with him seemed like a dream come true. The idea of a grown man needing as much sugar in his coffee as Emily made it seem added just a bit of charm to the already positive perception I’d had of him. 

In the coffee shop, I carefully recited the orders of my new teammates, taking extra caution in advising the barista that the black coffee needed extra sugar. I could tell the patrons behind me were definitely annoyed, but it didn’t matter. First impressions matter more. Even after my incessant requests about sugar, I took the time to open the lid of the steaming black coffee to add in 3 extra packets of brown sugar provided at the customization station in the back of the coffee shop. I could tell the barista was boring holes into the back of my head, and I honestly wasn’t surprised or could blame her. At this point, the sugar had to be more than the coffee itself. I gave a satisfied grin to myself, knowing I’d followed Emily’s directions and the possibility of friendship with someone I’d already come to admire wasn’t something far-off to wish for. 

God, was I wrong. 

I approached the bullpen cautiously, being greeted by an assortment of new faces. I quickly matched names to descriptors that had been given to me from Emily. I then noticed one face that hadn’t greeted me yet, sat alone in the back with his nose in a book. I couldn’t discern the title, which I quickly figured was due to the fact that the book appeared to be some European language I’d most likely never even heard of. The man had a mess of brown hair on his head, and even from across the room I could tell it was curling softly near the nape of his neck. He was handsome. More handsome than I had pegged him for. I knew almost immediately that this had to have been the infamous Spencer Reid, and I cautiously approached him, flashing a small smile. 

He heard me a mile away, looking up quickly and putting away his book. His eyes seemed to size me up, and he didn’t seem to return my smile. I knew better than to shake hands with him, being predisposed to his germaphobe nature and instead held out the coffee, almost as if it was a peace offering. 

“Hi, uh. I’m the new recruit, I believe Emily warned you all about me and I just wanted to introduce myself. (Y/N). That’s my name. It’s nice to meet you.” I said, a little dumbly, still holding the coffee out. I quickly realized I hadn’t explained the reasoning behind the coffee cup and quickly added, “Coffee. I asked Emily about how you liked it. And brought it. So, yeah.” I said. I was aware of how awkward this conversation was becoming, considering I was still holding out the cup, like an idiot, and he hadn’t said a word to me yet. He nodded, taking the coffee cup from me and placing it on his desk. “Dr Reid. Welcome.” His greeting was short, but I tried not to let it bother me. Perhaps he wasn’t as forthcoming to strangers, nevermind that. The coffee was enough. I smiled, again, hoping to make my intentions clear. “Nice to meet you, Dr Reid.” 

I turned back, feeling satisfied. I’d done what I’d come there to do. Except a sound from behind me alerted me that maybe I was a bit early to assume that, because when I’d turned around, an incredibly displeased Dr Reid was throwing away his coffee- the coffee I had brought! That I’d waited for in a morning rush for, that I’d taken the time to add even more sugar to- that coffee! In the trash! His eyes met mine as he dropped it into the trashcan near his desk, shuddering a bit as he did so. He didn’t even look apologetic. 

I approached him, a bit upset and sad, but there was caution in my tone, not wanting to offend him before he even had a chance to know me. “Dr Reid, I’m sorry was the coffee-” Dr Reid quickly interrupted me. “Did Emily not tell you my order?” He asked, a little bit of sharpness to his tone. 

Okay, so this guy took his coffee seriously. Emily was not kidding around. 

“Um, yes-” He interrupted again. “Yes? Are you sure?” He said, a bit of condescension in his tone. Okay, holy shit. All this over coffee? “Very sure.” I responded, confidently. “Black, with extra sugar- I even put extra at the counter.” I added this, trying to convey that while I was sorry it wasn’t to his liking, it’s not like I didn’t try. That had to count for something, right? 

Wrong. Spencer Reid did not seem like the type of man who cared about trying. He retorted with, “Well, it wasn’t enough.” And with that, he shuffled to the breakroom, seemingly to make his own coffee. 

It seemed like from there, things only got worse. In one of my first cases, I quickly made a quip about the statistics on suburban murders, hoping to add some valuable information to the conversation. I tried hard not to overpower anyone and stay in my lane as the resident newbie, but Spencer seemed to take personal offense to it, going out of his way to argue that it meant nothing. I fired back, hoping to affront my point but Reid quickly cut me off.

 “You’re new, alright? And young. It’s granted that you should be clueless when it comes to some of these things.” His words, although somewhat true, were accompanied by a harsh tone and a coldness in his voice. What could’ve been well-meaning advice from a senior agent on the team was clearly not that at all. All signs pointed to one thing: He absolutely hated me. 

For all I tried, it seemed like he only disliked me more. It wasn’t unnoticed by my teammates, how he’d dismiss me. I was aware of my newness, of my inexperience, how this team had had years to grow around each other before I was ever even considered for this position, but it seemed with the more time I spent at the BAU, Spencer’s disdain only increased. He seemed to go out of his way to not sit by me on the jet, or how he seemed absolutely uninterested in anything involving me. I understood that not everyone would like me, but a bit of respect would be nice. I didn’t need friendship, just his tolerance, and even that seemed out of reach for Dr Spencer Reid. 

Eventually, this led to the dynamic  we harbored now. A year into the BAU, and instead of a friendship, or even acquaintanceship, it was constant bickering. It’s not like I wanted to argue- he just made it impossible for me to find footing within the BAU. I obviously stood up for myself, but was met with resistance from the doctor, and so the cycle continued. 

Still, despite the obvious dislike Reid harbored for me, it wasn’t like that magically made him dumb, or any less attractive to me. His intelligence was as impressive as I’d expected it to be, if not even moreso. I watched in real-time as the cogs in his mind turned, his slender fingers finding a point on the side of his mouth to tap, before stopping and sharing what he’d just thought of. He was brilliant, and no one could take that away from him

 However, in this particular case we were currently dealing with, it seemed that brilliance simply didn’t matter, because how could someone like him be so absolutely stupid? 

The hostage situation we were dealing with was tricky, to say the least. Multiple civilians, and a trigger happy unsub. Any experienced agent would be at a loss when handling something like this, but Spencer seemed confident. He’d been pushing to storm the building, citing that more people would get hurt the longer they allowed the unsub to continue making demands. I found myself  wholeheartedly disagreeing, attempting to put my foot down and be heard. I found that perhaps, through negotiations, we could not only save the civilians, but walk away with zero people hurt. Naturally, this caused commotion between the senior agent and myself. 

“Reid, I’ve told you for the millionth time that this unsub can’t be approached like this!” I whisper-yelled, clearly fed up with Spencer by this point. He questioned every decision of mine, and it's gotten to me. 

“(Y/N), you’ve dealt with maybe 3 hostage situations in your life. This isn’t something for you to take point on. We have civilians in there, and it’s more important we save them.” He responded, in his own hiss. 

“You’re being ridiculous!” I retorted. 

“You’re naive!” He shot back. 

We’d clearly reached a head when it came to this. Spencer huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m using my seniority here. We’re going to give the go-ahead to SWAT and make our way into the building.” 

I found myself returning the gesture. “Spencer- '' I began, only to be interrupted.

 “Dr Reid.” He corrected, venom in his voice. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I replied, furrowing my brows. 

“What?” He countered, seeming calm, but his eyes gave away simply how determined he was to win this. 

“This is a terrible idea.” I said, firmly. “Someone’s going to get hurt.” 

“Oh, and how do you know that?” Spencer quipped. “Is it your years of experience in the field? Or your time spent as an FBI agent?” He said, sarcastically. 

“I understand I don’t have as much experience as you, but-” I started, but I found myself cut off by him again. Bastard. He never let me finish my sentences. “Exactly.” He responded, calmly. “You don’t have as much experience. I know what I’m doing. Let’s go.” And with that, he walked, leaving me to simply follow. God, I fucking hated that guy. Forget the intelligence, none of that mattered when he was such a dick. 

As they entered the warehouse doors behind SWAT, I  knew that it was wrong. Something was off. We’d profiled this unsub as the dominant type, and an egotistical personality that wouldn’t allow for a partner. It was a part of the profile that they were sure of. It was part of the reason why Spencer was so confident of going in. 

Upon entering though, the SWAT team had a clear shot of the unsub, but in a split second, there were shots heard from an entirely different part of the warehouse. From the direction in which Spencer was directly in line of. 

It wasn’t like I thought about it, maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have done it. It was based on pure instinct. I found myself in front of Spencer Reid, the man who’d questioned my every decision since I’d begun my job, taking a bullet for him. Maybe he was right, maybe I was an idiot. 

I heard the gunshot first, then felt the cold floor pressing into my cheek where I’d been knocked down. Then a tight pressure in my arm. I finally looked down, seeing a bloom of red appear under my dress shirt where a bullet had struck, away from the vest I wore to prevent this sort of thing. I took in a sharp breath of air, eyes widening as my breathing began to quicken. I rolled onto my back, only to be met with Spencer’s concerned and frightened expression above me. I heard ins and outs of his speech into his receiver, as I faded in and out of consciousness. 

“Yes! We have an agent down. We need medic, now!” He yelled. I watched him in fascination, his face currently seeming to be the only thing I could focus on besides the overwhelming burning that I felt. I heard him speak to me, calmly. “Y/N? Stay with me, okay? You need to stay conscious. Okay?” He spoke to me calmly, but the waver in his voice was unmistakable. I found my eyelids growing heavier as I nodded. 

It wasn’t long until I came to, groggily opening my eyes to see Spencer’s concerned face looking back at me. I heard his voice, soft and distant. 

“(Y/N)..?” Spencer said, cautiously. 

“Dr Reid?” was my response. I was still a bit dizzy, and a bit confused about my whereabouts. 

“You were shot.” He replied, immediately. “In your arm.” He added, as if that wasn’t already obvious. 

I found myself chuckling, “Yeah, I can tell.” I said, my eyes meeting his. His expression was a bit unreadable, a mix between sternness and apprehension. I watched him, as his gaze shifted and he bit his lip. “You took it for me.” He said, suddenly. “The bullet, I mean.” He continued. “It would’ve hit me if you hadn’t gotten in the way.” 

“Gotten in the way?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“Gotten in the way.” He repeated back to me, his face hard. 

“Are you upset I took a bullet for you?” I said, furrowing my brows, my lips parting in shock. Was this guy serious? 

“Yes.” He said, his voice angry. “What were you thinking?” His voice wavered with anger and another emotion I couldn’t quite discern in that moment. 

“I wasn’t thinking, I just-” 

“Exactly.” He responded, harshly. “You weren’t thinking.” He said, his voice reaching a volume I’d never heard before, granted, it was still collected, but I’d never seen this side of him. 

I contemplated how to respond to this, actually not being able to believe that he could be mad at me for something like this. Yes, it was brash but- he didn’t get shot! Isn’t that a plus? His voice broke my thoughts, now a bit more shaky, softer. “Do you have any idea what that would mean? If you’d been hurt worse, what that would mean for me?” He said, looking right at my face, into my eyes with a blaze. “What you mean to me?” 

I found myself unable to respond, still not being able to grapple with what he was saying. What he was implying. “Sorry?” I asked, softly. 

“(Y/N)..” He said, softly. His own expression mirrored my confusion mixed with longing I’d never seen before on him. Especially when he looked at me. His hand brushed across my face, moving some hair that had drifted near my eye. I held my breath as he did so, watching as his tongue slipped out to wet his bottom lip, still watching intently. I felt my lips slightly part as he came closer, unsure what was going to happen in this moment, but regardless, my gaze was intently trained on his. 

In a split second though, the sounds of the rest of the BAU filtered into the hospital room. They jumped away from each other, Spencer now 4 feet away from me. Emily came up to my bedside, looking at the wound. 

The typical chastisement came, and the general choruses of appreciation that I was still alive. The diagnosis revealed that (Y/N) would be just fine, given I remembered to clean my wound liberally and change the bandages.

In about a week, I found myself discharged. I was given about 2 more weeks to rest at my apartment. I assumed the time would be enough to forget the strange moment I’d had in the hospital room. At some points, if I tried hard enough, I could convince myself it hadn’t happened at all. The tenderness in his eyes, the way his gaze drifted to my lips, so subtle it could’ve as easily been a figment of imagination. I shook my head, as if I could rid myself of all the feelings I’d harbored about that specific moment. I made my way to the kitchen, grabbing a fresh-set of bandages to apply on the recovering wound, wincing as I peeled away the layers of gauze to reveal the injury. As I began to apply the anti-septic, I began to wrap the gauze, until I heard a knock at my apartment door. 

I put down the gauze, looking through the peephole and being surprised to see the senior agent that had been haunting my thoughts for the past few weeks. I opened the door quickly, meeting his pensive gaze. 

“Can I come in?” He said, quickly, almost if he didn’t say the words fast enough, he’d bolt the other direction. I sensed the confusion about his own actions, and opened the door wider, allowing him to push past me into my apartment. He noticed the gauze, and the open wound, and raised an eyebrow. 

“I was changing the gauze, sorry.” I said, explaining the sight on my kitchen table. He immediately took a step towards the table, picking up the bandages. “Let me help.” He said, quietly, motioning for me to sit down. 

I found myself sitting, out of pure habit of obeying him, but still shook my head. 

 “Dr Reid, no, it’s fine.” He quickly shook his head, mirroring my previous actions,  already beginning to take my arm, his light touches on my bare skin shooting a shiver up my spine. This was noticeable to him, him immediately retracting his hand. 

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked, softly. 

I found myself shaking my head. “No, no. Sorry. Just. Continue.” I said, trying to get the words out without looking at him. I suddenly remembered the strangeness of this situation, and forced myself to calm down as he began to carefully wrap the bandages around my injury, swallowing and looking up. 

“Dr Reid, why are you here?” I asked, carefully. I made sure that my tone was neutral, not trying to express displeasement, but still a bit confused about his intentions here. 

“You took a bullet for me.” He replied, simply, as if that explained why he was in my apartment, looming over me as he tenderly wrapped gauze over my arm, looking at me with the gentlest gaze I’d ever seen on him. I sighed, locking eyes with him. “I know, but-” He interrupted. “No, (Y/N), you don’t know.” 

Immediately, the rage returned to my eyes, the months of dismissal I’d faced from him flooding back in a moment, and those emotions came to full light in that moment. my brows furrowed, my face turning sour. “Oh, I don’t know, Spencer?” I said, sneering at him. “Am I too young, too stupid, too inexperienced for you?” I question, sarcastically. “Am I so dumb, that I wasn’t aware of what I was doing when I stepped in front of you?!” I say, my voice practically yelling at him now. 

“Yes.” He whispered, dangerously close. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Yes. You weren’t aware.” He says, repeats, softer this time. “It’s the only way any of this makes sense. That.. that you were so unaware, so blinded that you weren’t thinking when you stepped in front of me.” He said, quietly, remaining just as close as before. 

“I wasn’t.” I said, firmly, my brows still furrowed but the tension slowly left my face, being replaced with a softness. 

“Why did you do it then?” He said, dropping his gaze as he began to focus more on the bandages. “I haven’t been very forthcoming with you since you’ve begun your time at the BAU.” 

“Ah, so you’ve noticed.” I said, trying to make humor of the situation, but it came out a bit more breathless and dry. I was aware of the intimacy of the situation, and it seemed my body was catching up. I could physically feel the way my cheeks were heating up, and how they were close enough that I could see every breath that exhaled from his lips. How, despite everything, I still desperately wanted to kiss him at that moment. 

I couldn’t be crazy, when he secured the bandages and slowly trailed his eyes over my figure, sitting in front of him. I saw the same desire I felt, reflected in his eyes, and I found myself biting my lip. What the fuck was going on?

“So why’d you do it?” He repeated, still looking at me. 

“It felt natural, I..” I trailed off, trying to find the words to explain what I had felt in that split-second, but instead went with the simplest retelling my brain could manage, considering how close he was. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.” I said, looking at him. “I.. I care about you.” 

I felt stupidly vulnerable. His breath fanned over my face, and I bit my lip. I waited for him to say something, anything, staring anxiously at his face. 

“I’m a good profiler, you know.” He says, softly. 

I  chuckle a little at this, moving away so the tension can be relieved. “Trust me, I’m reminded of that every day.” I said, feeling like the distance between them was now more manageable, allowing me to talk.

But in a moment, he closed that distance to its predecessor, just as close as they were a moment ago. “You learn a lot about body language. Not just by learning to profile, but through years of experience. It just comes naturally, reading people. You can’t really turn it off. It’s like trying to forget how to breathe.” I hung onto his every word, and found my breath hitching when he directed his monologue to me. 

He gently inquires, “Do you understand?” 

I nod, looking up at him, as he inches closer. 

“So I hope you’ll understand and not take offense when I say I’ve been profiling you.” He pauses.  “Would you like to know what I’ve found out?” He says, looking right into my eyes at this point. 

My brain is screaming at me to say no, to not take the bait that he was dangling right in front of me, and to not cross that line tonight. Because, surely, that’s where this was going. I had a sneaking suspicion that the man in front of me was going to ruin me, if I let him. 

Instead, I ignore the instinct and intuition I normally rely on, and nod. “What did you find out, Dr Reid?” I responded, a bit shakier than I wanted to sound. 

“Your pupils dilate when I come near you. It’s an involuntary response, but I notice it every time. I’ve seen it in low and heavy lighting, the only commonality in both those situations being that we were in some proximity to each other.” His voice was low, and seductive, something I’d never heard from him before. 

“Your heart rate.” He murmurs, slowly picking up my wrist and pressing a thumb to the pulse point. “This isn’t exactly the best way to measure heart rate.” He explains, “My thumb. It carries its own pulse that can make it hard to distinguish between mine and yours. But right now, (Y/N)?” He mumbles. “I can tell. Because your pulse is going crazy right now. It’d be hard to miss.”  He said, with a low chuckle.

And he’s right, I can feel my heart getting faster with every second he speaks to me, in that hushed tone that seems to be driving me crazy. 

“It’s not just tonight. I’ve noticed it since the day you walked in.” He whispers, getting closer to my ear, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear. “Since you brought that terrible coffee, actually.” 

I pulled back, letting out a noise that was both composed of surprise and amusement. “Oh come on, it was not that bad.” 

“It was, but I can tell you tried.” He said, a small smirk playing on his face. “It was cute.” He said, now taking the time to brush some hair out of my face. It all happened quickly, his gaze tender and soft, before he captured my lips in a swoon-worthy kiss, pressing himself against me. I quickly melted into the kiss, letting out a satisfied sigh as I gripped his forearm, before rising from the chair as he slowly guided me to my couch. I let out a nervous laugh as my knees hit the cushions, tumbling a bit as I fell onto the soft pillows. He immediately pulled back, breathless, looking at me worriedly. 

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He murmured softly, kissing me again, a bit more gentle so I could murmur a soft “no” against his lips. 

“Good.” He growled, positioning himself above me on the couch,  beginning to press hot kisses down my neck, eventually reaching my exposed sternum, and looking up at me through hooded lids for implicit consent to continue, to which I nodded, feverishly. 

“Please.” I whispered, hoarsely. 

He took no time in obliging my request, rising a bit to remove the fabric of my shirt in one, clean swoop and continuing his assault on my chest, leaving open-mouthed kissed, eventually switching to nips and playful bites, as he sucked marks into the swell of my breasts, leaving me letting out delighted sighs and soft moans, which only seemed to encourage him to go lower. I arched my back, screwing my eyes shut, until he felt him stop, and come back to my neck. 

He murmured against me, close to my ear. I could feel his lips slowly brush the sensitive skin between my ear and neck, barely giving me any real stimulation, but it was enough to drive me crazy anyway. 

“Keep your eyes open, baby.” He whispers. “I want to see every part of your pretty face when I do this.” He says, returning lower again, leaving little kisses everywhere he could possibly go with his lips. I opened my eyes on command, watching as he went lower and lower, before finding the button on my jeans, slowly undoing them with nimble fingers and moving them off  my legs. I could imagine them so vividly inside me, expertly guiding me to pleasure in a way that mine couldn’t. But right now, if I wasn’t fucked senseless by him right now, I’d just about lose my mind. 

“Spencer.” I whispered, breathlessly. “I need you.” I breathed out. “Please.” 

“You need me to do what?” He asked, smirking as he already began to undo his own belt. 

“Spencer.” I repeated, firmly, not wanting to say the words. 

“Say it.” He says, in a much more commanding tone. 

“Spencer..” I repeat, breathing out again. “Fuck. I need-” I waver on the words, biting my lip. “I need you to fuck me. Now.” 

His smirk turns into a grin of satisfaction and pride, capturing my lips in yet another passionate kiss. “Mm. Wasn’t so hard, was it?” He says, cockily. I whined against his lips, tacitly begging him to just get on with it and he chuckles, moving off of my mouth. 

“Alright. I get it.” He says, moving his lips downwards again, his lips brushing against my underwear, as he began to remove that fabric as well. He nearly moaned when he saw just how wet I really was. It was a bit embarrassing, just from a few touches and words, but it was hard to care when I felt his tongue right on my core, beginning to lap at the hot flesh, reducing me to moans as I knotted my fingers into his hair, arching my back and bucking my hips to feel more of his ministrations. He seemed to understand, hooking his strong arms under my thighs, firmly planting me to the couch we were currently on, continuing. I could feel his moans against me, sending vibrations that only heightened my arousal in that moment. As if that was even possible. 

And then it was, because I heard him murmur against me.“You taste-” he paused, using his tongue to lap up more of my arousal. “So fucking good.” He finished, beginning to now harshly flick at my clit, which caused an entirely new slew of sensations. I recognized my end was fast approaching, and I tugged on his hair, unable to form the words as the white-hot pleasure overtook me quickly, he seemed to understand this without a word, nursing me through my orgasm as my thighs shook around him and he held my hips down. Even then, he didn’t stop, continuing to flick his tongue, lapping up my arousal until I had to physically push him away with a soft groan. “Spencer.. It’s too much.” Even then, he continued, reducing me to nothing but moans, and I heard him whisper. “Come on. One more. Please.” The words unintentionally caused a flutter in my stomach, and in record time I was being pushed towards my second orgasm in a matter of 5 minutes.

His mouth was clearly so much better at this than arguing. 

I felt him lap up the last bit of my arousal, looking up at me with a glistening chin, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was the most erotic sight in the world at that moment. The man that had questioned me at every turn, now in between my legs. He gave a smirk, moving up and giving me a rough kiss, and I didn’t hesitate to moan in his mouth when I could taste myself on his tongue. He smiled as he broke the kiss, caressing my cheek with one of his hands. His thumb moved along the smooth expanse of my cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, gently, concern in his eyes. 

I couldn’t help but break out into a dazed smile, nodding, a thin cover of sheen over my body, where I was still breathing heavily. “Yeah. I’m good.” 

“Good.” He breathed out. “I’m not stopping.” 

“I don’t want you to stop,” was my response, his shirt coming off before I’d even finished my sentence. 

I watched in fascination as he undid his belt, the very sound of it filling me with anticipation and desire. I could feel myself getting more aroused by the second, despite my previous two orgasms. I wanted him, I wanted this so badly. 

I felt him position himself over me, and feeling the head of his arousal run through my folds. I let out a breathy groan, as I felt him push into me. He let out a moan of his own, shutting his eyes. “You feel.. So fucking good.” 

I whimpered slightly as my body adjusted to him and his size. He was so big, and I’d never felt full like this before. He noticed this and placed a gentle kiss against my lips, watching my face as it contorted in pleasure and pain. As the pain began to subside, I looked up at him nodding. 

“Move, please.” I begged, the desperation evident in my voice.

He took no time in obeying my request, beginning to slowly thrust in and out of me. I moaned, feeling his cock stretch me and fill me up in a way I had never been full before. A pleasant sensation bloomed through my lower abdomen, and I could feel him bury his head into my shoulder as he pushed into me, my walls clenching on his length with every movement he gave. He pressed wet kisses into my neck, and I moaned happily at the feeling. In an instant, I could feel him fucking me desperately, placing both of his hands on either side of my face. I could feel my jaw drop, and no sound came out. I was being hurdled towards my third orgasm of the night and it was all at the behest of the man in front of me, plowing into me like it was his job. 

I moaned loudly, my legs wrapping around his waist in an attempt to keep him buried in my deepest point, feeling my release creeping up on me. 

“Sp-Spencer..” I groaned, attempting to alert him of my impending orgasm, but he simply swooped down, kissing me roughly, which only caused me to moan into his mouth. 

“I know, baby.” He whispered, in a deliciously dark tone. “Come for me, baby. Wanna feel you make a mess all over my cock.” 

It took no more provocation from there, as I felt my hips buck up once more and my thighs shake. I came with a loud moan of his name, my free hand gripping onto him and leaving scratches I knew wouldn’t go away for a while. 

My release seemed to spur him on, the wetness allowing him to fuck into me harder. I watched the man above me lose all control, and it was beautiful. He grunted a bit, and I could feel his hips stutter, chasing after his orgasm. 

“Please, Spencer.” I begged. “Fill me up, I need to feel you come inside me.” I whispered. 

It didn’t take long after that, after a particularly hard thrust, a warmness filled me at my hilt and Spencer nearly collapsed over me. He gave me a kiss, murmuring into the skin of my neck. “So perfect, so fucking perfect for me.” 

I smiled at the praise, biting my lip. I let my hand traverse over his back, drawing figures into the warm skin. I looked at the man laying on my sternum, looking absolutely fucked out despite being the one to give me three orgasms tonight. “Perfect, you say?” I teased. 

He looked up at me, kissing my lips softly, before mumbling against them, “Mm. Perfect.” 

I had a sneaking suspicion the next time we were at work, and he’d have something to say about my work, (because he always did), it wouldn’t take long to have him whispering sweet nothings to me in an instant, just like he was now. At least I could do something right on the first try.

hi!! this is my first fanfiction i've written since i was literally in middle school. spoiler. far from middle school right now. leave a comment, reblog, like, whatever! i had fun writing this. my ask box should be open for more requests? if anyone would like. anyway! hope u enjoyed!! :3

[anemoiashifts]

100 places to shift to.

♡ 100 places to shift to from tv & movie (some of these you could consider books too). organized into categories to the best of my ability.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

fantasy.

✦ harry potter.

✦ merlin.

✦ his dark materials.

✦ narnia.

✦ good omens.

✦ percy jackson.

apocalyptic.

✦ hunger games.

✦ divergent.

✦ the walking dead.

supernatural.

✦ sabrina the teenage witch.

✦ the chilling adventures of sabrina.

✦ stranger things.

✦ supernatural.

✦ lucifer.

✦ ghostbusters.

✦ buffy the vampire slayer.

✦ angel the series.

✦ teen wolf.

✦ wolf pack.

sci-fy.

✦ doctor who.

✦ star wars.

✦ star trek.

✦ roswell.

✦ avatar.

cartoon.

✦ barbie life in the dream house.

✦ gravity falls.

✦ amphibia.

✦ the owl house.

✦ hazbin hotel.

✦ monster high.

✦ ever after high.

✦ miraculous ladybug.

✦ phineas & ferb.

✦ rick & morty.

✦ my little pony.

✦ care bears.

✦ strawberry shortcake.

✦ adventure time.

✦ star vs the forces of evil.

✦ total drama island.

✦ scooby doo.

✦ bojack horseman.

✦ fairly odd parents.

anime.

✦ hunter x hunter.

✦ sailor moon.

✦ the legend of kora.

✦ saiki k.

✦ naruto.

✦ demon slayer.

✦ cowboy beebop.

✦ little witch academia.

✦ my hero academia.

✦ pokemon.

✦ death note.

crime / mystery.

✦ bones.

✦ criminal minds.

✦ only murders in the building.

✦ sherlock.

thriller / horror.

✦ american horror story.

✦ scream.

✦ scream queens.

✦ locke & key.

drama

✦ euphoria.

✦ shadow hunters.

✦ k12.

✦ the vampire diaries.

✦ the originals.

✦ twilight.

✦ never have i ever.

✦ h2o.

✦ wednesday.

✦ glee.

✦ gossip girl.

✦ pretty little liars.

✦ grey’s anatomy.

✦ skins.

✦ riverdale.

✦ once upon a time.

✦ emily in paris.

✦ victorious.

✦ the umbrella academy.

✦ mean girls.

✦ clueless.

✦ shameless.

✦ the guilded age.

✦ bridgeton.

✦ castle.

✦ law & order.

✦ my babysitters a vampire.

action

✦ maze runner.

✦ spiderverse.

✦ cobra kai.

✦ outer banks.

✦ jurassic park.

slice of life.

✦ gilmore girls.

✦ friends.

✦ that 70’s show.

✦ boy meets world.

✦ full house.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ whew this took forever to format & find shows considering im not a big tv / movie person at all. hope this helped a few people find some new dr’s !! bye bye :)

[ultr4vjolence]

@ULTR4VJOLENCE MISC RECS .ᐟ

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ AARON HOTCHNER

ᥫ᭡ a joyful future

a criminal minds big family!au where aaron gets the love and security he deserves.

ᥫ᭡ agents and asphodel

you hand in your resignation to the BAU.

there is no fanfare, no warning. one minute you’re there, and three weeks later, you’re gone, ousted at the insistence of strauss. but an unknown past holds the key to your personal horror story, one that you thought ended years before and is back with a vengeance — one set on taking you far, far away from the people you call your family.

ᥫ᭡ of terrible coffee and late-night rides

he watches you. maybe the two beers are going to his head, despite his infamous reputation as a heavyweight — all he knows is that his eyes follow as you slip through the crowds, sending beaming grins to some people you know from the office, and... you don’t know, do you? you don’t know how you make people feel. how you make every person you lay eyes on feel like they’re the only one you see; like they’re one in a million. important. you capture their attention with just one look and you keep it, too. you never go away — you burrow yourself into his brain and make a place for yourself there and—

their brains. that’s what he meant.

or: moments throughout your relationship with one aaron hotchner.

ᥫ᭡ moments

agent aaron hotchner, your boss, absolutely hated you. he was suspicious of your true intentions. but you were determined to prove yourself to him, no matter how long it took. or— the long, painful, winding road it takes for you and aaron to get your happily ever after.

ᥫ᭡ intelligence & issues

you’ve been working for the BAU for almost a year now. you know how you feel about your supervisor, but you also know it’s a lost cause. when the next case the BAU is assigned takes the team to your hometown, will it bring the two of you closer, or rip you apart for good?

ᥫ᭡ a hard day’s night

after graduation from the FBI Academy, all new agents go through a year of new agent training before becoming official agents of the bureau. by some stroke of luck, you get assigned to complete your training with the department you’ve always wanted to join— the behavioral analysis unit. you signed up for a year of profiling, case work, and catching serial killers, but you’re in for more than you could ever dream of…

ᥫ᭡ wanna be yours

professor hotchner’s criminal law class has a reputation. professor hotchner has a reputation. on your first day, you manage to draw his anger. he seems to hate you. what happens behind closed doors... that’s a different story.

ᥫ᭡ accidents

as the newest member of the BAU, you had nothing but professional respect for your boss, ssa aaron hotchner. sure, he was an attractive man, but your mind had never strayed even close to considering him as anything more than a capable and accomplished unit chief. this changes drastically through a series of “accidents” and in the end, there is nothing professional about your relationship anymore.

██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 20%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ SPENCER REID

ᥫ᭡ 3

is it okay to do wrong things for the right reasons? they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions (feat. unsub reader). this is not a love story. there will be no happy ending.

ᥫ᭡ phoenix

it’d been 10 weeks since spencer died in your arms. at least, that’s what you thought. (rewrite of the emily/doyle arc with spencer taking emily’s place)

ᥫ᭡ be a rebel, be bad, stay here and cuddle with me

“i love you, i love you,” he murmured between pecks. tangled in the sheets, his long arms still enveloped your form as he peeked up at the small clock on the bedside table behind you, a heavy sigh promptly escaping his lungs as he read the time, “but i really gotta get up and go to work…”

ᥫ᭡ here to misbehave

spencer spots you at a nightclub and quickly becomes smitten. only problem is he’s an FBI agent and you’re under 21.

ᥫ᭡ domesticity

reader gets worked up watching spencer with kids. he notices.

ᥫ᭡ santa’s gift

reader asks her husband what he wants for christmas.

ᥫ᭡ sunscreen & statistics

reader asks for spencer’s help putting on sunscreen (and washing it off after).

████▒▒▒▒▒▒ 40%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ AEGON II TARGARYEN

ᥫ᭡ when the world is crashing down

your family is house celtigar, one of rhaenyra’s wealthiest allies. in the aftermath of rook’s rest, aemond unknowingly conscripts you to save his brother’s life. now you are in the lair of the enemy, but your loyalties are quickly shifting…

ᥫ᭡ north to the future

the year is 1999. you are just beginning your veterinary practice in juneau, alaska. aegon is a mysterious, troubled newcomer to town. you kind of hate him. you are also kind of obsessed with him. falling for him might legitimately ruin your life… but can you help it? oh, and there’s a serial killer on the loose known only as the ‘ice fisher.’

█████▒▒▒▒▒ 50%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ AEMOND TARGARYEN

ᥫ᭡ the pawn in every lover’s game

when you’re ten, your father sends you to king’s landing to befriend a princess and woo a prince. a lioness growing up amongst dragons is a dangerous thing indeed.

ᥫ᭡ children of the empire

you are the eldest daughter of rhaenyra, princess of dragonstone, and twin to her heir, prince jacaerys. when your younger brother assails your uncle in a childhood squabble, your grandsire, the king viserys, offers your hand in marriage as payment for aemond’s lost eye. plighted in a match that is beheld by many and desired by none, you find yourself alone in a nest of vipers, forced to watch as your mother and the queen maneuver and vie for influence within the court and the realm. despite your youth, fears, and insecurity, you know you must apply your will and wits to one claim or another, but this choice becomes more and more difficult as you find yourself further entrenched within the family who would see your mother and siblings fed to the flames.

ᥫ᭡ studious

your marriage to the one-eyed prince is not as romantic as you hoped. the wedding night is beyond awkward and confusing, and afterward, your husband seems more than content to ignore you. but you keep finding yourself drawn to him, and the strange way he makes you feel.

ᥫ᭡ to make them love me (and make it seem effortless)

you clutch the collar of his shirt. “why do you want to marry me, aemond?”

he looks down at you, and his hands twitch by his sides, no doubt wanting to feel your warmth permeate through your clothes. he can feel your heart hammering underneath your ribs, and he’s sure that if you slide your hands lower, you could feel his racing similarly. your body melds so perfectly to his, and you breathe in sync, as if engaged in a dance of their own. every molecule of your body thrums to life underneath his fingers, every second that passes between you is charged with a tension that threatens to push the both of you over the precipice, and still you do not see.

he hates that, even with one eye, he does.

you await his answer with bated breath, but he sees the way your eyes briefly flicker down to his lips.

ᥫ᭡ take me to the lakes (where all the poets went to die)

you and prince aemond hadn’t seen each other for years since you left the red keep. now, you’re back.

ᥫ᭡ comet donati

sex, drugs, boy bands. you are a kinda-therapist recruited (via nepotism) to help comet donati through a recent crisis. things are casual with aegon, very not-casual with aemond. loosely inspired by one direction.

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𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ JOEL MILLER

ᥫ᭡ i know it when i see it

it’s the golden age of porn. sex and sin are the national pastime. you fled your suffocating small town to make dirty movies in the big city. you’re paired with joel miller for your first scene.

pornstar!joel miller AU

ᥫ᭡ allowed to be happy

while snowed in on a scouting mission, you tell dina the story of how you and joel met.

ᥫ᭡ mercy.

in a dog-eat-dog world of sliced throats and broken bones in exchange for primal survival, begging for mercy should have been the very last resort.

especially when a certain survivor was holding you at gunpoint.

ᥫ᭡ mr. rattlebone

settled in at jackson, joel and reader avoid their feelings for each other for their own safety.

ᥫ᭡ guard duty

guard duty was absolutely the worst, you thought to yourself with a bitter sense of resolution, but at least it meant some peace and quiet. the watchtower was set directly above the main entrance gate to jackson, a closed off wooden structure with stairs leading to the inside and an outer catwalk circulating it.

sometimes, the town could get on your nerves with how full of life and bustling it seemed to be; but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. that sort of thing was a hidden oasis in a world like this, almost too good to be true, and you knew you were lucky to be part of it, even if it meant never ending guard duties at the early hours of morning, when the sun still wouldn’t be out for quite some time.

you sighed again.

“if you sigh one more time,” joel muttered in a monotonous voice, “i swear, i’m gonna throw you outta this window.”

ᥫ᭡ too early, too cold

early mornings are always slow, specially during winter.

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𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ BELLAMY BLAKE

ᥫ᭡ sub rosa

it’s easy to think that you’re swimming in the sky. floating with the stars, weaving between them, part of the sky, the way you always dreamed you could be.

or, a clarke griffin!twin, bellamy blake x reader rewrite for the 100. complete.

ᥫ᭡ in this new light

slow, soft and sleepy morning sex.

ᥫ᭡ pretty fixation, wicked temptation

you and bellamy had spent a one-hundred-and-twenty-five years in cryosleep. a century of not touching each other catches up to both of you but finding somewhere to satiate your urges undisturbed is quite difficult. maybe a new planet will be just the place. but first, what’s a little challenge to heighten the tension?

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A C C E S S G R A N T E D. . .

ultr4vjolence © 2023 .ᐟ

[meazalykov]

soft spot

esmee brugts x uswnt x sensitive!reader

a hurt reader starts to feel a soft spot for a girl, even if she tries to fight it.

part one (part two here)

warnings: angst, mentions of betrayal, reader being an Ahole for the first part.

Y/n had spent months preparing for the World Cup 2023 in Australia. As a player for Chelsea, she was no stranger to pressure. But nothing could have prepared y/n for the emotional whirlwind that will hit her. 

Jane, her girlfriend of three years, had called her to talk. Y/n, despite ignoring her girlfriend due to latest rumors, had expected a heartfelt farewell, some last-minute words of encouragement, maybe even a promise to watch every game and cheer her on from afar. Any reassurance that their relationship was good.

Instead, Jane dropped a bombshell. 

"I don't think things are working out between us," she said, her voice devoid of the warmth Y/n had grown to love. 

“Wait what?” Y/n’s mumbled as she processed her girlfriend's words. 

"It's hard with you being away all the time, playing for Chelsea.” 

“You said that wasn’t a problem?” Y/n was confused at her girlfriend's words. At the age of 17, y/n forfeited her college eligibility in the United States to play for the youth academy at Chelsea. She had to leave her new girlfriend in the process, but Jane encouraged her to go live her dreams. Why did she change? 

“Yeah but-” 

“Jane, I feel like you’re lying to me.” Y/n admitted. Over the last few weeks, the footballer had friends questioning Jane’s loyalty in their relationship. The twenty year old woman had a feeling that Jane was emotionally cheating on her with another mutual friend of theirs, Ashlyn.

“I-I’m not.” 

“Sure–whatever.” 

“Ever since you’ve moved away to London, we’ve barely had time to see each other. I’m sorry— I still love you–but this isn’t working out.” Jane spoke softly. 

“Okay, fine.” Y/n hung up the phone as she noticed the tears coming down her bright (color) eyes. She knew Jane was lying which made the pain more excruciating. 

Those words from Jane repeated in Y/n’s mind for days. She had known Jane found the distance challenging, but she never thought it would come to this. She felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces, the betrayal amplified since Jane had found solace in Ashlyn, someone Y/n had never suspected could be a threat to their relationship. Ashlyn was a college BIOMED student who spent her time in her books— just like Jane. oh. 

Two days later, Y/n boarded the flight to Australia, her mind a storm of emotions. She tried to focus on the upcoming matches, the strategies, the training sessions, but Jane's words echoed in her head. 

“Hey, what's the matter?” Y/n took her airpod out of her left ear when she noticed her team captain, Alex Morgan, sitting beside her in the business class seat. 

Originally, Emily Fox was supposed to sit beside Y/n, but Emily figured that Alex would’ve been better at figuring out what was wrong with the American right winger. 

“Nothing.” Y/n mumbled, giving a light smile, hoping that Alex would be reassured by that. 

“Well– the dry tears on your cheeks doesn’t make your situation sound like nothing.” Alex said. Y/n always had the strength to speak up about her emotions when she needed to, what could’ve happened? Why is she secretive and independent now? 

The image of Jane and Ashlyn together gnawed at Y/n as she looked at Alex. This filled her with a cold, bitter resolve. If Jane had left her for someone else, Y/n would channel that pain into her performance on the field. However, she didn’t want to open up about it yet. 

“Once I process this, I’ll tell you what's wrong– okay?” Y/n smiled as her eyes began to gain moisture. Alex frowned before hugging the girl fourteen years her senior. Alex knew she couldn't force Y/n to speak up, unless her emotions started to affect the team chemistry.

 

As the World Cup kicked off, Y/n's teammates noticed a stark change in her demeanor. Gone was the cheerful, happy, approachable player they knew; in her place was someone with a steely gaze and an edge to her play that could’ve been described as ruthless. 

In their opening match against Vietnam, this new Y/n was on full display. In the tenth minute, she already side tackled two vietnamese players. This was not her playstyle. Usually, she will take the ball with her feet without needing to take extreme measures. As the game continued on, the number 17 player played with an intensity that was both impressive and alarming, her tackles hard and her determination fierce. Fans were impressed by the forward having defensive approaches, but were concerned once her aggressiveness showed. 

Midway through the second half. Y/n was tackled onto the ground by the Vietnamese left back. Jane couldn't get out of her head during the match, which pissed Y/n off.  During her goal in the 45 + 7’ minute, y/n’s heart fell into her stomach when she realized that she couldn’t do her usual “J” symbol as her celebration anymore. Jane was another girl’s girlfriend now. 

Seeing Jane and Ashlyn in her mind, Y/n stood up at the left-back who didn’t back up from the challenge. Normally composed, Y/n lost her cool and pushed the player to the ground. Y/n had no emotion when the ref flashed her a yellow card. The Vietnamese player, who looked up at the star player, was visibly confused. She stared at y/n in shock as the referee intervened.

The crowd murmured, “What is going on with Y/n L/n in this match? 

The commentators speculated, “It looks like Y/n L/n is playing with her emotions tonight, which is shocking since she's known as one of the more “contained” and “emotionally mature” players on the team at just the age of twenty.” 

Her USWNT teammates exchanged worried glances on the pitch and the bench. Lynn Williams, y/n’s older friend, pulled her to the side and asked “What were you thinking?” to which Y/n shrugged. 

Y/n didn't care about her actions. Her heart was cold, and all she could think about was proving to herself, to Jane, and to everyone watching that she didn't need anyone's pity or concern. Even if they weren't aware of the problem. 

As the match ended, Y/n walked off the pitch with her head held high since she scored and won against Vietnam, but inside, the turmoil raged on. She knew that she had to keep her emotions in check if she wanted to help her team get the World Cup for the third time in a row, but the betrayal by her Ex wasn’t forgotten. 

Lindsey did confront Y/n on her actions, considering that this is Y/n’s first ever yellow card in an International competition. However, y/n brushed it off as being mad about being tackled to the ground. The blonde debuted her reasoning but proceeded to focus on the next group stage match, 

The Netherlands. 

Despite her best efforts to calm her stormy emotions by meditating, going on walks in the Australian weather, and listening to motivational podcasts— the betrayal Y/n felt from Jane's infidelity still burned hot within her.

When the game against the Netherlands started Y/n's aggression was palpable. In the third minute, Y/n pushed Danielle Van, but was excused since it looked as if she was getting the ball. Alex, Lindsey, and Vlatko were nervous each time they saw their star forward clash with an Oranje player.  

Everyone noticed the increased speed that y/n gained when she gained possession of the ball. Y/n ran the ball up the pitch before passing to Alex Morgan, who failed to shoot the ball since the Dutch goalkeeper grabbed it inside the box on time. 

Five minutes later, the same thing happened again. Y/n gained possession of the ball and dribbled her way up the field. 

It wasn't long before her path crossed with Esmee Brugts, #22 on the Dutch National team. Y/n had known of Esmee through social media; they'd followed each other for a while, a year to be exact. The girl didn’t remember how or why but everyone seems to know of each other in this community. 

Y/n would’ve been lying if she said that she didn’t find Esmee attractive currently. The way Esmee effortlessly moved the ball made y/n concentrated on getting the ball from her. However, y/n’s current emotional state made it hard to think of anything beyond the match at hand—and her ex.

During a particularly intense moment in the game, Esmee and Y/n collided. Esmee's shove sent Y/n sprawling to the ground, her face painfully meeting the grass. At first y/n was shocked, looking up to see a standing Esmee who looked forward at the ball who Lindsey Horan gained possession of.

The sudden flare of pain in y/n’s jaw triggered a surge of anger as she was still on the ground– Jane's betrayal flashed through Y/n's mind as the pain got worse. Y/n, not thinking rationally, sprang to her feet, her emotions boiling over as she ran to confront Esmee.

"What is wrong with you?" Y/n shouted, her voice trembling with rage. "She can't do that?!!! That should’ve been a yellow??” Y/n looked over at the assistant referee who didn’t have much to say.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you-"

"Shut up!-- What were you trying to do to me then?" Y/n cuts the dutch #22 player off.

Esmee, taken aback by the loudness of Y/n's outburst, tried to explain more, but Y/n's anger was already spiraling out of control. The Dutch girl knew of Y/n through social media, they’ve had a few mutual friends who described Y/n as a sweet and matured girl. Y/n was someone different here. 

The confrontation quickly drew the attention of players and officials alike, and it took several of Y/n's teammates to pull her away from Esmee as she continued to misplace her anger on the girl with braids. 

The referee, seeing the situation escalating, issued a warning. At the same time Vlatko made the swift decision to substitute Y/n L/n out for Trinity Rodman, before she got a second yellow.

As Y/n sat on the bench, her mind raced. In another place, American commentators speculated on her uncharacteristic aggression, 

“Looks like an altercation happened on the pitch between United States star Y/n L/n and Dutch star Esmee Brugts.” 

“Well– I wouldn't consider that a full altercation. Y/n was the one who had a problem with Esmee’s challenge.” 

“Yeah, for sure, it looked one sided. I wonder if something is wrong with Y/n that the team is starting to notice. She’s played in 23 international matches so far in her career and it seems like the World Cup brought out some new emotions for the young star.” 

After the game, the team captains, Alex Morgan and Lindsey Horan, pulled Y/n aside into a private room. Y/n was intimidated by their strict demeanors as they sat her on a blue bench in an all white room. The captains saw enough to know that something deeper was troubling their teammate.

"Y/n, we need to talk," Alex said gently. 

"We do. We know that there’s something wrong— What's going on with you?" Lindsey said. 

Y/n hesitated, the idea of vulnerability after being cheated on caused genuine fear in the girl’s eyes. 

Lindsey noticed this, but as the captain she needed to know how to fix her teammate. “We aren’t leaving this room until we have an idea on what's wrong. We are here for you and want to help you– so please tell us what’s wrong.” 

The concern in her captain's eyes broke through y/n’s emotional shields. 

“S-Sh-um–She cheated.” Y/n mumbled out as tears poured down her dimpled cheeks. 

“What?” Alex questioned. She looked over at her fellow captain, Lindsey, who was just as confused. 

“Jane lef-lef-left me for her.” The floodgates poured down Y/n’s eyes at this point. 

“Jane left you for who, sweetheart?” Alex said as she went to hug Y/n. Lindsey got on her knees in front of y/n, comforting her as she felt pain from seeing her favorite young forward hurt. They knew who Jane was, but never met her throughout Y/n’s three year relationship. 

“Jane left me for Ashlyn. She said she was tired of me being away in England and that we weren’t working out.” Y/n sobbed on Alex’s shoulder. 

“Honey, I am so sorry. Why didn’t you tell us this before, we could’ve helped you.” Alex’s maternal instincts kick in as she sees y/n so broken, so hurt. Y/n was known to be the happiest, most emotionally mature, and a bright light on the team. Everyone seeing her so aggressive last week caused shock among the captains. They understand what’s wrong now. 

“It happened before we left to come here. Wh-What did I do wrong?” Y/n continued to sob. 

“Nothing, you did nothing wrong. You didn’t deserve that.” Lindsey said. 

Y/n confessed everything about Jane's betrayal, the pain that had consumed her, and how it had affected her gameplay. 

“Why did I lash out at Esmee like that too? Her of all people?? What the fuck?? I feel like I am a piece of shit!” Y/n says five minutes later as she processed the moments of today’s game. Tears continued to stream down her puffy face as she admitted how guilty she felt about lashing out at Esmee Brugts.

“She will be okay, y/n. You can apologize later, but we still need to help you with your problems about your ex.” Lindsey softly says. 

"You can't let Jane or that situation destroy you. We're here for you, and we'll help you through this." Alex whispered in Y/n’s ear, which warmed the cold heart in her body.

The tournament continued, but the USWNT's journey ended in the round of 16 with a loss to Sweden. Y/n's performance had improved, but her heart wasn't fully in the game. She made one of the penalties against Sweden, but it wasn’t enough. 

The World Cup ended in disappointment but y/n’s advanced technical skills and goal scoring abilities gained her a new opportunity– Barcelona Femení contacted her and approached her with an offer. Eager for a fresh start, Y/n accepted and moved away from London, hoping that the new memories will help her healing journey. 

(pretend you're sam kerr below)

wosonews

BREAKING 🚨 | FC Barcelona Femeni have completed the signing of Y/n L/n from Chelsea on a 4-year deal 💙❤️

comments

wosowbbfan she's a striker that barcelona needs 🥲 I will miss her ❤️

y/nl/n17_ seeing her and alexia putellas talking after the champions league semi game last season, I suspected this might've happened 😧

indigoblue578 isn't Esmee Brugts almost ready to sign for barcelona too? 👀😬

kerrfan yes esmee will if she doesn't go to arsenal. I'm positive y/n apologized to esmee for what happened at the World Cup ☺️

Indigoblue578 @/kerrfan yeah y/n is a sweetheart, I'm positive the thing with Jane Holland is what caused her to be so emotional during the world cup 🙁

kerrfan @/indigoblue578 I agree

Portthorns9378 She's never going to the NWSL is she? 😭

Barcahive the first American in Barcelona lets goooo 🙌

--

On the first day at training with Barcelona, days before they’re supposed to go to Mexico for a friendly game, Y/n's past summer collided with her present. As she walked into the dressing room, she saw Esmee Brugts, now a teammate. Y/n's heart sank with guilt as she recalled their confrontation back in Australia. 

Meeting most of the team days prior, y/n knew that she was in a comfortable spot and didn’t want to make things awkward or tense. That is not a good look for your first season at the catalan club where most of the girls consider each other a family.

Thankfully, Ingrid Engen noticed the tense look on y/n’s face as she tied her ivory colored cleats. Ingrid had always been perceptive, and she could tell something was bothering someone. Even with y/n who is new to the club. Ingrid walked over and sat beside the younger girl.

“Hey, (reader’s nickname)... is everything alright?” Ingrid placed a hand on the twenty year old’s shoulder. Y/n sighed as she looked around the dressing room, wondering if it was the right time to speak to her mind. Noticing that some people already left to head out on the pitch for training, including Esmee, y/n didn’t see the harm in telling Ingrid what's wrong. She hoped that speaking up would bring some peace to the situation. 

“It’s about Esmee– At the world cup I went off on Esmee over a challenge we had together on the pitch. This was after my ex cheated on me so I misplaced my anger on some people, including Esmee.” y/n sighed. 

“After finding out that Esmee was joining Barcelona this season I felt more guilt than before— I wanted to reach out on instagram to apologize but I didn’t– I don’t know— I – I just feel so bad.” Y/n continued as she whispered to Ingrid. 

Y/n sat in the dressing room, her mind racing. She knew she had to apologize to Esmee for the sake of team chemistry. Luckily, not many on the team knew about what happened during the Netherlands vs United States match, but still— y/n didn't know how to approach Esmee without the other girls around. The memory of her outburst still haunted her, and despite Esmee's seemingly friendly demeanor, Y/n couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that was on her.

As she sat there, lost in thought, Ingrid wraps her arms around y/n shoulders which she relaxes into after a few seconds. Y/n is still getting used to the physical affection that europeans show to each other on a normal basis. 

"I remember that. You were going through a tough time, and it got the best of you. Have you thought about when you want to talk to her?" Ingrid nodded, understanding.

"I have, but every time I try to find the right moment, I just freeze up," Y/n confessed. "I feel like it would be more genuine if I did it myself, but I don't know how she'll react."

Ingrid offered a reassuring smile. "Esmee doesn't hate you, Y/n. She's not the type to hold grudges. Besides, she probably doesn't even think about it anymore. The World Cup ended in a Spanish victory anyways, and everyone's moved on."

"Maybe," Y/n said, uncertainty still clouding her voice. "But I can't move on until I make things right with her."

"Do you want Ale and I to help you?" Ingrid offered. "We can be there for support or even help you set up a time to talk."

Y/n shook her head, a small smile forming. "Thanks, Ingrid, but I think I need to do this on my own. It needs to come from me, and it needs to be genuine."

Ingrid squeezed Y/n's shoulder. "I get it. Just remember, Esmee is a kind person. She won’t brush you off or hold what you did against you. She'll understand. You've got this, Y/n. And if you need to talk afterward, I’m here."

Y/n took a deep breath, feeling a bit more confident with Ingrid's reassurance. "Thanks, Ingrid. I appreciate you."

"Anytime," Ingrid said, standing up. "Now, let's go train and see if you can talk to her after– okay?” The Norwegian took the American's hands and pulled her up from the dressing room bench.

Y/n nodded, determination filling her. She stood up and headed out of the dressing room, ready to go train before going to Mexico with the team tomorrow morning. 

As she headed closer to the door, she spots Esmee in the hallway talking to Bruna and Jana. Y/n felt herself freeze up at first, but fought against herself and approached the group of girls.

"Esmee, can I talk to you for a minute?" Y/n asked, her voice steady despite her nerves. Jana and Bruna smiled at Y/n in understanding before heading outside to the pitch. Training isn’t supposed to start for another five minutes so she hopes she can fit her apology in this time. 

Esmee turned, her expression curious. "Of course, Y/n. What's up?"

Y/n gestured to a quieter corner of the hallway. She didn’t want anyone eavesdropping, as she understood that some of the young La Masia girls loved to do that sometimes. 

"I need to talk to you about what happened during the World Cup---um--- I need to apologize."

Esmee's eyes softened as she followed Y/n. "You don't have to apologize about that, Y/n. I understand you were going through a tough time."

"No, I do need to," Y/n insisted. "I was out of line, and I took my anger out on you. You were playing the game and I couldn’t handle my emotions. It wasn't fair to you, and I'm really sorry."

Esmee smiled warmly. "Thank you, Y/n. It means a lot that you came to talk to me. But really, it's in the past.” 

“I know but I just couldn’t move on until I told you how sorry I am. I’ve moved on from my ex, who caused the outburst, and the World Cup itself– but I just had to apologize to you.” Y/n gave a light smile.  

“I appreciate that a lot. But let's just start over, okay?" 

Y/n felt a wave of relief wash over her. "Okay. "

---

part two here

<3

[sorencd]

IF I FELL

pairing: neil perry x reader

word count: 0.7k

a/n: a small something i wanted to do with neil! have i ever mentioned i lovrhfed himdahsd asdh

masterlist

sitting at a table with your friends surrounding you trying to pretend that you weren’t looking at the person across from where you were wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, especially when most of them can’t keep their mouth shut. you could feel the subtle jab to your side one of your friends, danielle, was giving you when she noticed you were staring beyond the table and wasn’t listening to a thing she was saying.

“stop- stop that.” you dismissively waved your hand to try and stop her from elbowing your side.

emily, another friend of yours, started making jokes about how you’ve got your eyes set on someone and pointed a finger at where you were previously looking. you denied her accusations before cautiously turning your head to the direction she was indicating, acting as if you weren’t staring there a moment ago. to no surprise, it was him, the boy you’ve been fawning over like a little girl who’s had her first crush. this little fixation of yours has been going on for months but you never found it in yourself to act upon it since you knew little about him. all you knew of was that he attended the academy nearby and you’ve never seen him alone or without any of his friends. you wanted to change that. you’ve also come to find out a few weeks back that his name was neil, a name that made you perk your head up whenever anyone mentions it, no matter if it was related to him or not. it was love at first sight, your friends would say, and they’ve never seen you as smitten as you are now. 

you rested your chin on your palm to better concentrate at his face, or smile, rather. you concluded that he had the best smile in town, brighter than any other you’ve seen. you bet that if he were to smile at you directly, your heart wouldn’t handle any of it and stop beating right then and there. you can only dream about that happening.

“he’s a proper dishy lad, isn’t he?” 

you scrunched your nose at danielle who was trying her best british impression, she’s been reading too much books from that tolkien guy. you really should take those books away from her. you continued your faux act of not knowing anything, avoiding her teasing gaze with a shrug to your shoulders.

“what? i have no idea who you’re talking about. i was just-” it was hard to get out words that would help you defend yourself when your head was busy being occupied by him. you felt that no adjective could perfectly express what you thought of him and if you opened your mouth, you’d accidentally slip and say something about neil instead. 

"i-i don’t know.”

they all shared a knowing look while you continued staring at him as he leaned onto a tree he was at. he had his mouth closed and was seemingly listening intently to what one of the boys was saying. what a perfect set up, you thought. he could just continue what he was doing, and you would just admire him from afar. unfortunately, your daydreaming was cut short when unexpectedly, neil turned his attention to where you sat and for a brief moment, you two made eye contact. you felt the air in your lungs get ripped away from you and your heart thump faster. he gave you a smile that you thought only came in your dreams accompanied by a wink before diverting his gaze and pitched into the conversation they were having, leaving you red and blushing with a thousand questions running in your mind. why would he look at you? did he know the whole time? your friends started giggling amongst themselves as they saw the whole thing unfold.

“looks like that boy you like fancies you back~.” danielle resumed elbowing your arm and wiggled her eyebrows, “i think he likes you too.” 

“don’t- no, he doesn’t. something just got caught in his eye, that’s all.” you reasoned, also half lying to yourself to try and stop you from leading yourself on. you didn’t want to expect from someone who probably doesn’t even know who you are, probably already liked another person, and most likely would never talk to you. 

on the other side of the park though, unbeknownst to you, neil was watching you try to explain yourself to your group with a smile. he should ask you on a date soon, he contemplated to himself, before someone else beats him to it. 

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[probably-writing-x]

Curtains Closed - Part 2

Summary:

Warnings: I dont thinkkkkkk there's any?

Author’s Note: I love writing this concept and I loveee writing requests so please let me know if you'd like more parts of this or if you have any other ideas <3 Love you all x

———

You were sure that your reflection would start morphing if you stared at it anymore, or at least the small part that was visible in your compact mirror. Your makeup was still flawless, your hair still not even a fraction out of place, your outfit still hugging your body in the exact way it had done when you’d left. But now, sat in the car just before you had to leave, you wanted nothing more than to go home and change it all.

You should be high on life. You’d just won Best Actress for your role - a role you’d poured your heart and soul into. The film was a success, your name was in the headlines, everyone adored you. But as you were sat waiting to go into the after party, you couldn’t think of anything worse than having to celebrate your success alone.

“Are you ready to go honey?” Your assistant asks from beside you, offering you a smile.

She came with you everywhere, and she’d taken the plus one seat at the Oscars now that Drew wouldn’t be using it.

Drew. You hadn’t spoken to him since that day at your apartment, not even crossed paths once. You’d heard he’d been doing okay, and his film with Emily came out last week.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ready,” You smile, taking a deep breath and stepping out of the car.

Vanity Fair was plastered along one wall of the red carpet, cameras lining up along the other side with their flashing lights, a sprinkling of celebrities across the carpet already.

You’re instantly whisked onto the carpet, told to stand in front of the sign and smile. You’d changed out of your lavish Oscar’s dress for one of the same colour, this one simpler, a silk dress that fell around your chest and hugged into your waist, dropping down to your ankles with an extremely low cut back.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Over here!” Strangers’ voices call out to you from all different directions, all accompanied by the flash of their cameras.

You know how to pose by now, looking over your shoulder, moving your dress in the right way, look left, look right, go back to the front, change pose. It was all relatively routine to you at this point.

“(Y/N)! Over here! Look this way!” Another few voices shout and you try to keep your smile just as wide, knowing all of them wanted to capture the perfect shots of the lead actress of the year.

Your assistant comes back over to you and leads you over to the interviews, a row of filming cameras and people with microphones all waiting to hear from you.

“So, congratulations (Y/N), all of us here are so happy for you. How does it feel to officially be an Academy Award Winner?”

You take in a deep breath and smile, “You know, it’s just beyond words. I am so so grateful, I just feel like I’m living in a dream!”

The interviewer smiles and proceeds with their next question, “So who are you going to be celebrating with tonight?”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “Um, you know, I’m here with my assistant who is literally with me through everything, so I’m very happy to be sharing this with her. And then I’ll be celebrating with my family and my close friends as soon as I can.”

“That’s great, (Y/N), thank you! Have a lovely night.”

You move onto the next couple of interviews and they all ask you similar questions, about the film, about how amazing it was to win, about who you’d be celebrating with. The latter always brought the same sickness to your stomach. When Drew first saw you act, he told you he knew there’d be a moment when the world saw you in the way he did - and he told you he’d be there to cheer you on from the front row. But you were on the stage tonight, and his seat was re-named.

“I think Madelyn has just arrived,” Your assistant comments, “I’m going to head in but it might be nice for you two to get some photos together.”

“Sure, I’ll see you in there!” You encourage and she disappears.

You glance around at the carpet and catch sight of Madelyn just arriving. She’s wearing a black floor length dress accented with thin feathers and she looks as elegant as ever. Her face brightens up as soon as she sees you.

“Oh my god (Y/N)!” She squeals, extending her arms to envelop you in a hug, “Oh my god I am just so so so so so proud of you.”

“Thank you!” You respond, squeezing her a little tighter, “I’m so glad you’re here, I needed to see you tonight.”

“Girl, I gotchu, don’t worry,” She squeezes your arm, “I will warn you though, in about ten seconds I think you’re about to see somebody you really don’t want to see…”

Her words trail off into the ringing in your ears as you see who had just stepped out of the car behind her. His tall frame fitted into an all black suit, with just a small white trim along the button line of the shirts. His hair is buzzcut short, his eyes as piercing as ever when they are so harshly focused on you. And they are. As soon as his eyes fall to you, it is impossible for them to leave. The whole world around you seems to stop completely, all the sound drown out, everything else a blur but him and his face and his eyes and… him.

“Are you going to be okay?”

"Yes, yeah, of course," You cough a little, "Why wouldn't I be?"

And then you see. On the other side of the car, Emily stepping out. Her hair is fixed perfectly in a messy up-do, a short dress accenting her long legs and the perfect curves of her body. Perfect.

All of the reality comes tumbling back to you, washing over you in rushes of excess noise and bright lights and people shouting. You feel like you could sink into the carpet beneath you.

"(Y/N)," Drew says, now walking the short distance over to you, "Um, hi."

"Hi," Your breath catches in your throat, "How ar-"

"Hey honey, let's get some photos done," Emily cuts in, hurrying over and linking her arm with Drew's, "Oh, hey, (Y/N), didn't even know you'd be here."

You fight back any hatred from your words, "Yeah, yeah, sort of comes with the win I guess."

You can feel Madelyn smiling from beside you. Drew is still yet to take his eyes away from you, his lips slightly parted as if on the cusp of saying something.

Emily moves her hand and links her fingers with his, pulling both his and your attention to the point where their hands intertwine, "Come on babe, they need to get my good angle."

There's never a good way to describe the feeling, is there? How your heart feels like it tears in two and completely stops, all at the same second, all with no warning. How your hands feel like they lose all feeling but your body suddenly feels hyperaware of everything. How your brain loses all focus and your eyes cease to work but you can still note down every detail of exactly what is happening in front of you. How your worst nightmare is playing out right there, but you can't bring yourself to look away.

Drew doesn't say anything, simply nodding and following behind her as she drags the pair of them to stand in front of the cameras. You watch the photographers start snapping the shots and feel the tears start to bubble in your eyes, threatening to spill and expose how you felt for the headlines - fanning a fire you had tried to put out.

"Oh no you don't," Madelyn squeezes your hand, "You're not crying for him tonight, today is your day."

She grips your hand tighter and the pair of you walk in towards the party, forcing against every instinct in you to not look back at the sight of your worst nightmare playing out in front of you.

~~~

It's a little later into the party and you've done everything in your power to try and not think about Drew and Emily. Luckily, you'd been busy all night with people wanting to congratulate you on your win, thanking them and laughing when they say they want to be with you in your next project. It is at least an hour later when you see him again.

You're at the bar, waiting for the bartender to bring you your order, taking a minute to breathe amongst a lot of posing.

"Excuse me mate, can I grab a beer and a glass of water, please."

You'd know the tone anywhere. The same voice that made you weak at your knees, made your heart race.

He leans over the bar waiting for his drinks, glancing right until his eyes fall on you, "Hey."

"Hi," You respond, just as the bartender comes back with your drink.

Drew looks at you and then down to the glass in your hands like he can't manage to keep eye contact for too long.

"I should go," You say quickly before all of the air feels knocked from your lungs.

Drew stretches out a hand and wraps his fingers around your forearm, "Please don't."

There's a pleading in his eyes that laces his words, echoing in the slight furrow to his brows. When he sees you don't resist his touch, he relaxes, but his hand doesn't move just yet.

"I didn't get a chance to say it earlier but congratulations, really, I-" He stops himself, "I know how much you deserve it, and I just wanted you to know that I'm... I'm proud of you."

You let out a shaky breath, but draw your shoulders back and try to inject some confidence back into yourself, "Thank you, I appreciate that. You always did tell me it would happen eventually."

Drew lets out a raspy laugh, dropping his hand from your arm to drag it over his short hair, "Yeah, well, I believed in you," He stops, "Still do."

There's an ache in your heart to reach out for him. To tell him about the new coffee shop in New York that you've fallen in love with and how you want to go to Italy for the summer, how you wished you were reading more recently and how you aren't sure whether to take a new TV role. You went to tell him all the big and all the small, all the bad and all the good and everything in between. You want him to know you like he did last year.

In the silence, he glances down and looks at your drink, "They didn't give you ice."

"Oh, yeah, no, it's fine," You shrug, "I don't mind."

He frowns a little and takes it from you, "Sorry, do you mind putting some ice in this?"

You hover beside him at the bar, scanning your eyes down the lines of his side profile. As much as he didn't know it all, he did know you. He always would.

"Here," He gives you back your drink, "You never were good at sending food back."

You stop yourself from smiling too much, biting the inside of your cheek.

"I wanted to say to you too," He chews at the inside of his lip like he does when he is nervous, "Me and Emily-"

You put up a hand to stop him, "I don't think you need to tell me, Drew. If you're happy, that's great. But it took a lot for me to get over you, and I don't know if I can do all of that again so-"

"We're not together."

The words stop you in your tracks.

"We're not dating, we never were, we never will be," He states, clearly like he wants to make it certain that you hear him, "The producers said it would be a good idea to spark some rumours to promote the film, I didn't want to do it but..."

"You're not dating?"

"No, god no," He shakes his head aggressively, "After you and I split up she mentioned something about there being something between us, but I told her that I was waiting for you, and she understood. We're just friends, and I don't want it to be anything more."

You fight back another smile, feeling a little bit more like your boyfriend was stood in front of you - the boy who knew you.

"I told you I'd wait for you, (Y/N)," He shrugs his shoulders like its the easiest thing he's ever said, "I meant it."

[mikeyswayy]

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(UPDATED INTRO POST)

(𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨...)

DNI'S are literally only like MSI fans.. oh and if your homophobic, transphobic, racist. anything like that.. oh and if your possibly one of my family members

⚰︎

I don't have a name, call me cunt or something I don't care

•

MCR is my favorite band, I like fob too and I forgot but I love any of Frankie's bands too! And Gees solo music!!!!!

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My favorite movies are (these aren't in order btw) Donnie Darko, star Wars, life on the murder scene. (I like the Chucky movies too, I was raised on them but they're not my favorite)

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Favorite TV shows, the walking dead (all the spin-offs too) , umbrella academy, Chucky (I'm a big nerd for child's play and Chucky btw) / (I can't think of others right now but I think I have some more maybe..)

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Favorite comics, the walking dead, the true lives of the fabulous Killjoys, the true lives of the fabulous Killjoys: national anthem, umbrella academy (I have more but like I forget a lot so..)

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Favorite games, the walking dead telltale games (I have others that I'm not gonna name here bc I wanna say it somewhere else.. But you'll probably know soon enough)

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Favorite colors are red and black

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My favorite YouTubers are jake webber and Johnnie guilbert but I have a few more and they do pranks but like I don't think anyone that's here probably likes them so.. Well carry on.

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Favorite album is I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love

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Favorite songs are, my way home is through you, not that kind of girl, Emily, black dragon fighting society, all the angels and tomorrow's money

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𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗦 :

I've always wanted to play bass

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I wanna make comics, draw and maybe write some.. :D

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I'm a minor, don't be a Creepazoid.. but i dont care if your over 18 :P

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Literally obsessed with Mikey way..

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I like sour candies, war heads I like a lot. Sour candy also isn't sour to me..

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I like vampires (𝘪 𝘢𝘮 𝘰𝘯𝘦) and that stuff, bats too I guess

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Blood is cool too

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I draw sometimes (𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘐'𝘮 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴.. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦?)

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I edit sometimes..

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I'm awake all night listening to MCR, and all day almost too..

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Petekey.. ♡

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Frerard ♥︎

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My favorite soda is root beer

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I'm running out of things to say now.. Let's carry on..

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This is the end.. So.. Bye? I don't know.. Want the lyrics to the foundations of decay? There, it's down there ↓

See the man who stands upon the hill

He dreams of all the battles won

But fate had left its scars upon his face

With all the damage they had done

And so tired with age, he turns the page

Let the flesh submit itself to gravity

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame

Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain

Now, if your convictions were a passing phase

May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays

And as the vermin crawls, we lay in the foundations of decay

He was there the day the towers fell

And so he wandered down the road

And we would all build towers of our own

Only to watch the roots corrode

But it's much too late, you're in the race

So we'll press and press 'til you can't take it anymore

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame

Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain

And if, by his own hand, his spirit flies

Take his body as a relic to be canonized

Now, and so he gets to die a saint

But she will always be a whore

Against faith (cage all the animals)

Against all odds ('cause the message must be pure)

Against change (you can wander through the ruins)

We are free (but the poison is the cure)

You must fix your heart

And you must build an altar where it swells

When the storm, it gains and the sky, it rains

Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

And as you stumble through your last crusade

Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays?

And as the swarm it calls, we lay in the foundations

Yes, it comforts me much more

Yes, it comforts me much more

To lay in the foundations of decay

Get up, coward

Now, so long and goodnight...

(I'll probably be adding more once I remember more shit, but for now Run, run, bunny, run)

(𝘈𝘴𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧...)

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[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Nothing is Accidental | Spencer Reid

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: You usual Criminal Minds crimes

Author's note: This is a rewrite of the Season 7 Episode "True Genius".

Words: 3.342

Being a last year student at the San Francisco Police Department Academy had been a thrill. You had been dreaming about this since you were just a kid, wanting to step into your mother’s shoes. She had been the captain at the San Francisco Police Department since you knew what it meant. Her death caused you to up that dream to make her proud. Losing her made you want to become a detective even more. 

When you heard there was a conference hosted by Patricia Cornwell, you knew you had to attend. Her books weren’t the only ones on your shelves, but they took up a lot of space. Luckily, you didn’t have any classes all day. 

As Patricia wrapped up her talk, she turned to the guy sitting next to her and introduced him as Dr. Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. He was tall and awkward and he had the sort of face that one could stare at for hours on end and not get bored. Even from your seat in the room, you were able to memorize every single aspect of his face. 

After Dr. Spencer Reid, came Agent Emily Prentiss. Though she was interesting too, you couldn’t help but keep your eyes trained on her co-worker who had retaken his seat. You wanted to talk to him, pick his overly genius brain. Whatever he would have to say would captivate you to no end. 

At the very end of the conference, people crowded around Agent Prentiss to ask her everything they needed to know. However, no one did the same to Dr. Reid. Watching him squirm and awkwardly twist and turn hurt your heart. Before you even dared to walk up to him, he scurried out of the door. With furrowed brows, you quickly follow behind him, just to find him talking to someone else. 

From a distance, you watched as Dr. Reid talked to the young man. He looked excited to talk to him, his smile never wavering right up until the end when the guy said his goodbye. Spencer’s smile vanished from his face. 

“Hi, Dr. Reid,” you finally dared to go up to him. 

The smile reappeared, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was just trying to be polite to you. “Hi.” 

“I– uhm,” You stuttered, nervous as you saw the color of his eyes up close. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, student at the SFPD Academy and I–” You scoffed at your own awkwardness. “I just thought you – what you said up there was really interesting.” 

“Oh,” Spencer chuckled, the light in his eyes returning. “Thank you.” 

A moment passed as the two of you just watched one another, smiles persistent on your faces. Neither of you said anything up until the point where Agent Prentiss exited the conference room. “Hey,” she greeted. 

You offered Emily a smile before turning back to Spencer. “I-I gotta go. It was nice to meet you.” 

“Yeah, you too,” said Spencer before watching you walk away after a quick bid of goodbye to Emily. 

“Who was that?” Emily asked, her eyes trained on Spencer’s furiously blushing face as he was still looking at you. 

He pressed his lips together. “Uhm, y/n y/l/n. She’s a student at the San Francisco Police Academy.” 

Emily hummed suspiciously, regarding her co-worker to find any trace of infatuation for the woman he’d just met. Though all she found was confusion, worry and a tiny bit of curiosity. She wasn’t even too sure where the first two emotions came from. 

For the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. The words he said during the conference and the bright honey-colored eyes haunted you with everything you did. Even the world didn’t allow you to forget him as his face was on your tv-screen as you were cleaning up your apartment. 

“Was your cousin by chance a fan of Wagner?” Spencer asked the man who was informing reporters about his cousin being the new Zodiac Killer. “Because a CD of the Tragic Overture was sent to the police this morning.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Come on, Spencer, you know better than that,” you mumbled, confused about how a genius like him could mix that up. 

The man on TV nodded his head. “He loved Wagner, especially the Tragic Overture. It’s him.” 

Spencer quickly pushed the man aside so he was now standing in front of the camera. “Oh, yeah. Well, for the record, a CD was not sent to the police this morning, and the Tragic Overture was written by Brahms, not Wagner. So luckily, I guess it’s not your cousin.” You let out a snort. Of course he knew that. “The FBI would greatly appreciate it if people would stop making false claims to get their fifteen minutes of fame. Thank you. Thank you very much.” 

Chuckling, you shake your head and continue cleaning up your apartment. Once you were done, you got ready and headed out to the coffee shop near the Academy, something you did almost every day before afternoon classes. 

“A tall caramel macchiato with soy milk, please,” you ordered with a smile and thanked the barista once you were given your coffee. As you turned around, your eyes landed on the mop of curls you’d seen just the day before. You tilted your head slightly as you approached him cautiously, uncertain if it actually was him. “Dr. Reid?” 

The man looked up at you from the papers in front of him, his honey-colored eyes sparkling as they landed on you. “Hi, y/n.”

“What are you doing?” 

He chuckled and looked down at the paper again. “Working on a case,” he mumbled. 

“The Zodiac thing, right?” he nodded his head. “Saw you on the TV this morning. It made me wonder how you could get Wagner and Brahms so mixed up.” 

Another chuckle rolled off his lips until something popped into his mind. “Hey, do you know anything about code?” 

“Uh, yeah, a little,” you murmured before accepting his wordless invitation to sit down. He slid the paper in front of you, showing off the spam comment underneath the article that had contained a matrix code which had led them to nothing. Your eyes scanned the comment for any clue until something in your mind clicked. Quickly, before you could lose it, you reached for the pen in Spencer’s hand, your fingers brushing his. You decided to ignore the feeling of the sparks at your touch and went to work. “It’s not a matrix code, it’s binary. I-It was written in the words, not the code.” 

You showed him what you’d come up with, his eyes lighting up in surprise as he read over it. “China Weekly Post, Page F4.” 

“This guy is smart,” you commented, leaving Spencer to wonder whether you were talking about him or the UnSub. You watched Emily walk into the cafe, telling you it was time to go. “I-I gotta go. Got a class in five minutes.” You quickly scribbled down your number on the top of the page. With furrowed brows, Spencer looked up at you in confusion. “Nothing’s accidental,” you whispered before turning on your heel and leaving the coffee shop with an acknowledging nod towards Emily. 

“She’s a genius,” you heard Spencer mutter to his co-worker. 

A slight blush resided on your cheeks as you made your way to class. All the way through, you couldn’t stop thinking about the case. Your brain only picked up a few of the things your professor was telling the class. Coincidentally, you were covering the Zodiac Killer case as the professor saw it fit with what had been happening. 

Nothing is accidental, the words kept rushing through your mind. Even though it was a throwaway comment you said to Spencer, it still held some truth to this case. Your professor repeated those words throughout the class and it made you realize that nothing was accidental in this case, either. 

Just as you made your way towards your next class, your phone started ringing. The number flashed on your screen, telling you it was someone you hadn’t saved in your phone. Confused about the flutter in your stomach, you picked up quickly. “Hello?” 

“Y/N, it’s Spencer Reid, f-from the FBI.” 

A smile crept onto your face. “I know who you are. Hi, Spencer.” 

“Do you remember what you said before you left the coffee shop earlier?” 

Humming, you nodded your head. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. My professor said the same thing about the original Zodiac Killer. Nothing’s accidental. This guy is doing everything on purpose. Every last detail is important to him.”

“Can you come and help me? I could use your genius.” 

The smile on your face only widened. “Are you sure I’m allowed to interfere in an FBI case?” 

“I’ll tell them it’s for your internship or something. We’ll figure something out. I-I just… I think I need to pick your brain for mine to function in this.” You allowed the silence to linger, giving yourself time to simmer in his words. 

“I’ll be there in ten,” you finally whispered before hanging up and making your way down to the police station where you found Spencer. He was sitting criss-cross on a desk, staring at an empty board. “Is there something on there that only geniuses can see?” you asked, startling him slightly. 

“No, because then you’d be able to see it, too,” he complimented. “I just figured we were looking at things linearly while we needed to take dimensions in account.” 

“Hey, we went through all the surveillance footage near the newspaper. There’s nothing,” Emily said to the other co-workers while you and Spencer started going through the evidence at hand. 

“Spence, you okay?” the blonde next to JJ asked. “And who’s this?” 

Cursing at yourself for not introducing yourself earlier, you offered the BAU team a smile. “Y/N Y/L/N, I’m a student at the SFPD Academy. I-I’ve been assigned by my professor to help you out for my internship…” you lied through your teeth, but it’s the best you could come up with. 

“Was that cleared by Hotch?” the older guy asked Spencer, though the genius didn't respond. 

“Nothing is accidental,” Spencer repeated your words as he started to put up some of the pictures on the board. “Nothing this UnSub does is accidental. The message in the China Weekly Post was on page F4. Why F4?” 

“That’s where the classifieds were,” said Morgan. 

You shook your head. “There’s more. Have you looked at the geographical profile yet?” you asked them. 

Spencer shook his head before moving over to one of the guys from the San Francisco PD who was at a computer. He had the map on his screen with red dots indicating the recent murders. 

“Can you rotate that?” Spencer asked and the guy obeyed, rotating the map and placing the grid over it. 

“F4 is a chess square,” you told them. 

The blonde woman known as JJ furrowed her brows. “He murdered people according to a chess game?” 

“He murdered people according to a specific chess game,” Spencer corrected while you nodded your head. 

“Game six of Fischer vs. Spassky in 1972,” you added, earning an impressed smile from the Boy Wonder himself. 

“One of the greatest chess matches ever played,” he continued. “The murder locations correspond with the final three moves of the game.” 

The man standing behind you grabbed his phone and dialed a number. Rather quickly, a chipper voice sounded from its speaker. “Garcia’s lair of knowledge and wisdom.” 

“Garcia, you have the list of Zodiac case experts?” 

“Yeah, standing by for you. I have everyone who’s ever written or blogged about it. FYI, there are way too many people obsessed with this sicko.” 

“All right, cross-reference that with professional chess players,” the man continued, hoping their tech analyst could find something. 

“Oh, that totally helps. Yeah. Okay. List is getting smaller… And smaller… Down to nothing.” 

You frowned before looking up at the tall man behind you. “What about high-level amateurs?”

The man gave you a weird glance, one that told you he wasn’t too sure what you were doing here. “All right, open it up to high-level amateurs as well,” he said into the phone. Even though he wasn’t too happy with you being there, he still took your suggestions to heart. 

The tech analyst told them she’d call them back when she had answers, leaving the FBI agents to simmer in their own thoughts. While they talked, you turned back to the board and looked over the evidence that was there. 

“Hey,” Spencer’s soft voice interrupted your thoughts. “Thank you for wanting to come and help me.” 

You offered him a smile and shrugged. “Eh, I’m only missing three classes and this is more interesting anyway. Though I don’t think your boss is too happy with me.” You throw a glance over your shoulder towards Agent Hotchner, who’s talking to Emily about something. 

“He’ll get over it,” he dismissed. “I was wondering – why did you–” his question got interrupted by Hotch’s phone ringing again. 

“Go ahead, Garcia.” You and Spencer quickly turned back to the rest of the group, ready to hear what Garcia had figured out. 

“Get ready to love me more. I did a search of chess players rater 2,200 or higher, which would make them masters but not necessarily professionals. I cross-referenced that search with Zodiac experts and came up with two former chess prodigies and best friends who used to write about the Zodiac in their junior high school newspaper. And I get bonus points because they both have IQs over 160.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the overly chipper tech analyst. 

“Where are they?” Hotch wanted to know. 

“In San Francisco. Caleb Rossmore is a City Parks employee. Harvey Morell is an engineer at a Chinese computer firm. He’s about to get married, and, yes, I just emailed you all this information right now.” 

JJ reached for the tablet and opened up the documents Garcia had sent. A news article of the announcement of their engagement popped up, carrying a photo of the happy couple. With a furrowed brow, your eyes skidded from the tablet to the victims on the board. “The fiancée Marisa Devon looks like the two female victims, doesn’t she?” 

Nodding her head, JJ agreed. “They were surrogates for her.” 

“Caleb could be jealous of his friend,” Morgan speculated. 

“Or what if he’s afraid of losing Harvey?” Emily suggested. 

“If he was a child prodigy, he may no longer feel special as an adult,” Spencer spoke up. “He could be trying to hold onto him.” 

His solemn expression made you wonder if he was relating a little too much to this guy, but you decided not to say anything on it and listened to Rossi instead as he spoke. “Harvey’s engagement could have been a trigger.” 

Hotch then turned to Spencer and you. “Reid, I know Spassky conceded the match, but what would the next move have been?” 

Before the genius could answer, you beat him to it. “Spassky would have been checkmated or…” you allowed him to finish your sentence. 

“He would’ve lost his queen.” 

You nodded your head in agreement. “Spassky’s queen landed on E8,” you remembered just as the team dispersed, starting to get ready to capture the guy. 

“Thank you for your help, miss Y/L/N,” Hotch told you, stoically. “But this is never going to happen again unless you decide to join the BAU.” 

“Of course, Sir.” You watched as everyone got ready, assembling your own stuff to leave when Spencer stopped you. 

“Could you-could you maybe stay put until I get back?” he asked. “I–I’d like to go for some coffee afterwards to thank you for your help?” He sounded incredibly nervous, though you found his bashfulness rather endearing. 

“You don’t need to do that,” you responded, and noticed his shoulders slumping. “But I would like to go for a coffee with you.” 

His smile reappeared, his honeycomb eyes shimmering brightly. “O-okay, I like that.”

“Great. Come back in one piece, then, okay?” You fought your urge to kiss him but then settled on kissing his cheek quickly before turning away and heading out to the breakroom to grab a glass of water, feeling Spencer’s eyes on you. 

Later that night, when Spencer returned, he took you out for a coffee, as promised. For the entire night, the two of you talked about anything that came to mind. Chess games, true crime cases, he told you about how the team had forgotten his birthday a few weeks ago… You felt a connection to him. A connection you had never had with anyone else. Call it love at first sight or just infatuation, you didn’t know what to call it, but you did know what you were feeling. 

So, that same night, you contacted Emily and set up a surprise for him. A few days later, all of his co-workers had gathered in the briefing room with presents scattered around the table and a cake with candles, ready for him to blow out. 

Occupied by the hugs and kisses he got from his co-workers, Spencer didn’t even notice that in the corner of the room, you resided. For a while, you just watched him get smothered in love and birthday wishes, and you couldn’t help but feel how your heart melted at the sight. Over the last couple of days, the two of you had been calling and texting non-stop. It nearly wrecked you to try and keep this from him, but it was all worth it when his eyes finally landed on you. 

“Happy birthday, genius,” you told him, grinning. 

“Y-Y/N, wow, I–” he coughed awkwardly as he grabbed your hands in his. “I didn’t–How are you here?” 

You nodded your head, trying to stay serious though you couldn’t stop the corners of your mouth to twitch into a smile. “You know, they invented something called an airplane. Gets people around the globe pretty quickly.” 

“I-I know that. I–” he chuckled nervously. “I just– Why are you here?” 

“When you told me these guys had accidentally forgotten your birthday, I wanted to– you know, make sure you felt loved, make sure that even though life gets busy and rough sometimes, we still need to take a break and celebrate what’s important,” you told him, squeezing his hands. “So, I called Emily and we set up this surprise for you.” 

Spencer’s eyes moved over to Emily, who gave him a wide grin. “You did this?” he asked you, motioning to the party. 

“Yeah… Don’t know if you noticed, genius, but I do like you.” 

His jaw dropped ever so slightly and you could hear how his breath caught in his throat. “You like me?” 

“You’re a profiler, Spencer, I thought you’d have figured it out already.” 

“Our Boy Wonder is a bit oblivious to that sometimes,” Morgan interrupted with a smirk. 

You chuckled, turning back to Spencer. “Maybe this might help,” you whispered before standing on your tiptoes and allowing your lips to ghost over his before kissing him fully and deeply. You didn’t even care that you were standing right in front of his colleagues. You just wanted to kiss him. You needed to kiss him. As you pulled back from him, you smiled at how flustered he was and how the others in the room were cheering for him. 

“That does help a little,” he agreed before dipping down and kissing you again. 

From that day on, you were reminded that nothing was accidental. Meeting him at that conference wasn’t an accident, it was meant to happen; You bumping into him at the coffee shop, him asking your help on a case. None of it was an accident, just a junction in the path of your life that you had to take. 

Nothing was accidental. 

Everything taglist: @calamitykaty @littlemissaddict @n0wornever @wanniiieeee @unnowhatthisistbh

[lightandheatao3]

The Bunker - Criminal Minds

Chapter 7: The Dream

Summary: Spencer Reid wakes up in a locked bunker to find half the current BAU and two of its departed members unconscious on the floor. The old team is back together but the reunion is not what any of them would have wished for. An Unsub from their past has decided it's time they all stop keeping secrets, even if it means exposing them by force.

Hotch and Derek have been pulled back into a world they tried to escape. Emily, Rossi, and JJ are doing their best to keep it together. Spencer is falling apart.

AKA a found family is reunited and forced to go through the most nightmarish version of family therapy imaginable.

Set months after the end of Criminal Minds: Evolution. Evolution referenced, but not necessary to understand the story.

Chapter Summary: Spencer sleeps, then wakes.

Read chapter 7 on AO3 or under the cut. All comments and reblogs are extremely appreciated <3 I would love to know what you like about the story :)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

“Why me?”

Spencer blinked.

His head was spinning. He could have sworn he heard a voice.

“You're still worried about hearing voices?” the voice answered. “Seriously, man, why did you come to me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to help. Just would’ve figured you’ve got better people to do this with.”

He looked up. A familiar face hovered above him, dancing in and out of his vision.

“What are you doing here?” asked Spencer.

He tried to sit up but his body was glued to the surface beneath him. He jerked forward but he couldn't pull himself free.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” said Ethan with a raised eyebrow.

He was on the shabby couch in Ethan’s small New Orleans apartment. He finally managed to pry himself loose and drag himself into a sitting position. The air was wet cement. The walls of the apartment expanded and contracted like lungs.

“I have nowhere else to go,” Spencer explained.

“Bullshit,” said Ethan. “You’ve got a whole team of people who care about you and plenty of savings to pay your way through a private rehab facility, and instead you’re sweating it out on the couch of some guy you’ve talked to all of once in the last half-decade.”

“Fine. If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave,” spat Spencer. "I wouldn't want to drag you down with my problems."

He tried to stand, but his wrists were tied with rough rope. The smell of rotting fish was thick in the air.

“Don’t be such a drama queen,” said Ethan affectionately. “It’s good to see you, though I wish for your sake it was under better circumstances. Besides," he pointed out, "you couldn’t get further than the front door without puking up half your body weight right now.”

Spencer pulled at his bound wrists. “Untie me!” he demanded. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“I'm not doing anything, Spencer. You’ve done this to yourself.”

“It’s not my fault!” he yelled, the smell of the rot turning his stomach. “I didn’t have a choice. I said no, I tried to stop it, I did everything I was supposed to do.”

The bindings wrapped tighter, snaking around his abdomen and up to his neck. They constricted around his throat painfully.

“How long before you can’t use that excuse anymore?” asked Ethan snidely, a tone that Spencer had rarely heard from him. “How many months after you killed Tobias before you finally admitted it wasn't him that kept sticking those needles in your arm? Fuck, man, 16 years later and you're more of a junkie than you've ever been. Whose making you do it this time?"

“Fuck you,” he growled. “You abandoned me! You left your whole future behind to go be a drunk in New Orleans. You have no right to judge me."

“You never asked me to stay.”

“You never cared what I wanted!”

“What? You wanted me to stay in the Academy? Join the BAU with you? Have a magical life getting kidnapped and tortured and hooked on drugs together? Spend romantic evenings in hotel rooms looking at photos of mutilated bodies?"

Spencer pulled against the restraints again, and again they resisted. "I never said that. I never wanted that. You were my only real friend and I was worried you were throwing your life away," he explained. "That's all."

Suddenly, Ethan was knelt beside him. He was laying down on the couch again. The ropes that had entangled him melted away. He was shaking, sweating, the cushions were a bed of nails beneath him. Ethan shushed him gently, wiping a cool cloth over his forehead. “You’re gonna be alright. I’m glad you came to me.”

Spencer blinked hard.

He stared into Ethan’s gentle eyes. “I don’t think I’m getting out of this alive,” he admitted in a whisper. “I need my friends to be safe. They have to make it out, no matter what happens to me.”

“Do you think we could have had something?” asked Ethan as if he hadn’t heard Spencer talk. “If the world wasn't such a fucked up place for anyone a little too different, do you think we would’ve had a chance at something real?”

Spencer swallowed down a painful lump in his throat. “I don’t know.”

“We could try now,” said Ethan, putting a hand on his cheek. “Maybe this is our chance.”

“That’s not what you said,” Spencer breathed. “I remember. This isn’t how it happened. You helped me, then we said goodbye, and we never talked about any of this.”

“But it’s what you wanted me to say.”

“No.” Spencer rolled over on the thin mattress. Ethan knelt beside him in the brightly lit bunker. “That's not what I wanted.”

“Then why are you here?” asked Ethan. Spencer didn’t look at him. “You spent so long scared of losing your mind, you didn't even realize you never had it to begin with.”

Ethan’s hand enveloped Spencer’s. Their fingers intertwined.

When Ethan’s hand pulled away, there was a cool, smooth object left behind.

“I know what you want,” said Ethan.

Spencer looked down at his hand.

A loaded syringe rested on his palm.

He stared up at Ethan, who had drifted to the back of the cavernous, concrete room. The buzz of the fluorescent lights echoed, and the blinking red camera sat at the periphery of his vision no matter which direction he looked.

“I don’t want it,” said Spencer desperately, holding the syringe of swirling gas aloft.

“You've never wanted anything more than this.”

When he looked again, Ethan was gone.

He looked down at his arm. It was unmarked, smooth and fresh without even the faintest hint of old, scarred over track marks. It hadn’t looked like that since Georgia. There was a tourniquet tied around his upper arm.

The needle was pressed against the crook of his elbow.

He breathed a deep sigh of relief. Every muscle in his body relaxed. The world was about to be right again.

He placed his thumb on the plunger, depressing it slowly like he had a thousand times before.

The gas traveled up through the veins in his arm, making its way closer and closer to his heart.

Something was wrong. He coughed. He felt the gas spreading inside him, burning everything it touched.

His throat was raw and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't catch his breath. He gasped for air, but got none.

What had he done? What had he done to himself? He was never going to breath again and it was all his fault!

Then: Awake.

His eyes burned as he pried them slowly open. He flinched back against the light, blinking slowly in an attempt to adjust.

“Spence, it’s okay, we’re here,” came a soft voice from somewhere beside him.

A hand rubbed gentle circles on his back.

He finally managed to adjust to the horrible fluorescent light. JJ was leaning over him, staring at him with wide, worried eyes.

“You’ve been out for hours,” said Emily from somewhere nearby. “We’ve been checking your vitals and keeping an eye on you, but we didn’t want to force you awake.”

He looked up and saw the rest of them lingering behind JJ.

He could have cried from relief, and very nearly did.

“You’re all okay,” he said, closing his eyes tightly to stave off the tears.

Derek huffed a laugh. “You’re worried about us? Man, I was scared you were never going to wake up,” he said with a watery smile.

Spencer cringed. All at once, his senses lit up. The others leaned in with concern as his hand flew up to his throat, feeling for injury. He swallowed and tried to clear his throat, triggering a rough cough. After a second of coughing he had to fight back an immense wave of nausea.

“What’s wrong?” asked Hotch. “Are you injured?”

He shook his head helplessly. He rubbed at his throat and couldn’t feel any external signs of injury, but he felt as if he’d swallowed glass. “I don’t know.”

“Let me take a look,” he said, leaning past JJ and kneeling beside him.

Spencer pushed himself up into a sitting position on the hard concrete floor. Hotch reached out and touched his throat, looking at it intently and feeling for any signs of damage. He was gentle in a way that made Spencer think back to Jack’s seventh birthday party. He had fallen and grazed his knee and the only thing in the world that could have consoled him in that moment was his dad.

“I can’t see any signs of damage,” said Hotch, pulling his hands away. “It could be a side effect from the gas. You were out a lot longer than the rest of us. It’s possible you had a bad reaction.”

He could feel the tremor in his hands, the sweat beading on his brow. The swirling nausea. If felt like one of his worse comedowns, or like the tail end of detox. Except, that didn’t explain the pain in his throat.

“Not to mention, we don’t know how long we were all unconscious or what happened during that time,” said Derek, arms folded tightly across his chest, expression carefully controlled.

For the first time, Spencer noticed their clothes.

None of them were in the same clothes they’d been in when they first arrived. He looked down at himself. Light blue scrubs, like the kind you would see in a hospital. Crisp and clean.

His stomach dropped.

He was clean. His clothes had been changed. The Unsub had cleaned him. He touched his face, feeling the smooth skin along his jaw. She had even shaved him.

Another look at Derek and his stomach dropped even further. As freaked out as he was, he could only imagine what kind of feelings this was triggering for his friend.

Derek seemed to piece together what he was thinking. “I’m good,” he said firmly. “Don’t worry about me.”

That last part sounded less like a reassurance and more like a command.

Spencer let it drop. He was hardly in a position to judge anyone else for not sharing. It’s not as if this was a safe space for any of them to unpack their trauma.

He turned his attention to the rest of the bunker. The others backed up, giving him room to see.

Not that there was much to look at.

The mattresses were gone. Their little luxuries and amenities were gone. The entire bunker smelled strongly of disinfectant. He hated how much of a relief that was to him after the smell of mold.

Oh god. He groaned audibly when his eyes hit the empty doorway where the bathroom door had once been.

“Yep,” said Emily mournfully. “Still trying to process that loss.”

“Of all the experiences in prison I had hoped to never repeat again, this was pretty high on the list,” he said, voice raspy and raw but thankfully getting through the sentence without coughing. He looked to the rest of them. “Do any of you remember anything at all?”

All eyes flicked over to JJ. They had already had this discussion amongst themselves, it seemed.

“It’s difficult to say for sure,” she said cautiously. “I was pretty out of it, but I think I came to at one point. Wherever I was, it wasn’t here. And… I think I heard two voices. One feminine, one masculine.” Spencer nodded. They had speculated that their Unsub had an accomplice. She was likely the dominant one in the pair with a male companion who did her bidding. “They must have dosed me right afterwards, though. I don’t remember anything else,” she finished.

“We all have marks,” said Rossi. “Same as the ones we came in with. The gas would have knocked us out temporarily, but they must have used injections to maintain it. She doesn’t like to deviate her methods, it seems. Not surprising.”

Spencer felt the spot just behind his ear. It was easy to miss, but there was a tiny bump that was just a bit swollen.

“Do you think it’s the same formula as last time?” asked Derek with a raised eyebrow.

He mulled it over, a little irritated that he was becoming something of a human narcotic testing strip for them. Never mind that he had a PhD in chemistry. It was his expertise in being a junkie that gave them such faith in his ability to identify whatever drug cocktails they had all been injected with.

“I don’t know. If I’ve been unconscious as long as you say, then whatever was in my system is likely cleared out. All I know for sure is that I feel terrible.” He sighed. “It's likely. It would explain why-” he stopped to cough, trying to clear his throat, “- why I’m experiencing more acute withdrawal symptoms again.”

Though he would never admit it out loud to anyone, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being disappointed that he hadn’t been conscious to experience getting shot up. He was saddled with all of the horrible side effects, and he didn’t even get to experience the high. It felt unfair, and he knew exactly how pathetic it was that he felt that way.

Hotch put a hand on his shoulder, which surprised him. “You’ll be alright. It will pass faster this time,” he assured him.

Derek also gave him a sympathetic smile, though how sincere that sympathy was, Spencer wasn’t sure. He’d stopped commenting on it while they had all been stewing in filth together, but he knew he was still upset with him.

“Any speculation on the compound we were gassed with?” Derek asked. “I’ve never encountered a gas that can induce unconsciousness in a whole room full of people like that.”

Spencer perked up. This was a subject that was actually of some interest to him. “Contrary to what movies portray, incapacitating agents that can reliably induce non-lethal unconsciousness in an uncontrolled setting don’t exist. In the case of-” he coughed, struggling to speak through the pain, “-the Moscow theater siege in 2002, the Russian authorities rendered a theater of 800 people unconscious in order to stop a terrorist attack, using a Fentanyl derivative. It was extremely effective, yet 15% of the hostages died as a result of the gas. In our case, my guess would be that they used a compound with a substance similar to Halothane as the primary component.”

He took a break from speaking to double over and have a coughing fit in earnest, searing pain on the inside of his throat leaving him gasping for air. The others rushed to him, helping him as he curled up on the floor, struggling to breath.

Once he finally caught his breath, he looked back up at Hotch. He cleared his throat a couple of times, keeping his voice low and soft when he spoke.

“I think you were right about me having a bad reaction. Controlling the dose of an aerosolized anesthesia in a large space is nearly impossible. I was the last to get my mask on. I must have inhaled too much,” he ground out, stopping to suppress another coughing fit. “I think I was intubated.”

They all looked at him with wide eyes. It made sense. It would explain the pain in his throat. He must have gotten a big enough dose to cause toxicity and require temporary intubation. It would also explain why he was so much more affected than the others. Why he took so long to wake up.

It was difficult to read all of their expressions. He thought they looked upset. Horrified? Concerned? Afraid?

“This tells us something we didn’t know before,” said Emily, squaring her shoulders, refusing to dwell too long in a nightmare that none of them could even remember. “Access to that much Halothane, or any other powerful anesthetic, combined with the knowledge and skill to perform an intubation, means-”

“At least one of our Unsubs works in the medical field,” finished JJ.

“This is good,” said Rossi. “We did all of this to learn more, and it worked.”

Spencer looked around at the empty, cold concrete. He had the same thought that he was sure they all had.

Sure, it worked. But at what cost?

[v3nusxsky]

can you write a fanfic about emily and R having a daughter?

A mini you

*Authors note~ I took a fair few creative liberties here. I wasn't sure what sides of this you wanted so I decided to try capture all points, I hope that's okay anon*

Trigger warnings~  fluff?

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

When you reach a certain age, it's only natural to think over your younger days. Remembering the good and the bad, reflecting on the years you'd lived. For you, that moment was happening now as you and your wife were getting ready to attend a wedding.

Emily and yourself were high school sweethearts, the kind that everyone just knew would stay together forever, if Emily was somewhere you weren't far behind. Even at the age of seventeen you knew you wanted her to be your wife. Emily was so unapologetically herself and that's what helped you come out to the world. Those times were some of the best, even when you were sneaking around to see one another. You even went to prom with her, you in this stunning maroon, floor length dress and her in this form fitting suit. That night she'd turned up at your house with a bunch of red roses for you. That night was certainly magical.

When you both finished school, Emily went through the FBI academy, you stood by her every step of the way while you went down a teaching route. You knew that work and home life would need to be kept separate as much as possible, if Emily had to go undercover then they couldn't recognise her as your partner. The day Emily got accepted into the BAU, she took you out to dinner and got down on one knee. You knew then this was your forever. Being her wife was a dream and you couldn't believe it was finally going to come true.

After your wedding things calmed down, you got to know the rest of the team, often coming in to see Garcia when the team were working a case, in your holidays you opted to work in Garcias office, the company was nice and if you got to hear your wife's voice then that was a bonus. Emily loved knowing you weren't alone while she was away so she would often come straight to Garcias office after arriving back to steal a quick hug and kiss from you.

Children were something you always knew you wanted, Emily too. And with her job it made offending IVF easy. The decision on who would carry your child was easy, Emily loved being in the field and being pregnant would make that rather difficult for her, you didn't mind carrying your child but you had one request. "Emi I want a mini you, those dimples, those eyes and that hair. Your kind heart and smart mouth" you murmured one night. So it was decided you'd use Emily's egg but you'd carry the baby. And that's how you were given your beautiful daughter Delilah Faye.

You'll never forget the day you went into labour, a slow day for the BAU, paperwork really and you were with Garcia getting a drink in the little kitchen. You'd ignored the niggly pains you'd been having putting them down to Braxton and hicks, but when your water broke, the squeal of Garcia alerted your wife and the rest of the team to what it really was. Your wife instantly hoping into protection mode, she and Garcia helped you to the car before she took you the hospital, thankfully all the bags had taken residence in her boot weeks ago.

Delilah's infant days were certainly an adjustment, Emily had two weeks off to help you but that flew by. You adored having your daughter to care for, a little piece of Emily while she was away. Realistically, she was a very easy baby, but completely a mamas girl. In her toddler years she showed just how much of her mothers fiery temper she had, if Emily had a case and Delilah wanted her mama you knew about it. It often upset you thinking she didn't love you the same way. Every time you felt such a way your wife was quick to remind you Delilah loves her momma just as much, it's just because Emily has to travel so often that she clings to her so much.

As Delilah aged, you began to see just what Emily was saying, Delilah was five the first time you had to leave for a teachers conference, you hadn't expected her to cry and cling on to you as you kissed them bye. She even had Emily FaceTime you before bedtime. She snuggled into your wife as you talked her about her day and how much you love and missed her. Only then did she fall asleep snuggled on your wife's chest. The sight truly making your heart ache, the two raven haired beauties so far away from you, you began to wonder if this is how Emily felt when she was away with work.

You and Emily were both present on the day she started high school, her teenage mindset not wanting to be embarrassed as you both dropped her off, "mommmm!" She whined seeing you crying slightly, "mama she's crying again." Your wife chuckled and they both said their goodbyes before driving away far enough to not be seen. She parked up and pulled you into her arms. "Angel, she'll be okay" she reassured as you sniffled into her shoulder, "she's all grown up em" you mumbled truly craving those baby days back, where she was so small and needed you both. "Come on angel let's get you to your work children."

The day Delilah left for college you both cried and laughed at how the moving process went. Your wife quick to remind you the perks of an empty house and your daughter quick to remind you she was more than ready for this step. Clearly you were the emotional one that day, you reminded her she can always come home and you and Emily were only a phone call away. That memory triggering the one where she was a scared twelve year old who just got her first period. She came in to your bedroom on a rare weekend that Emily was home thinking she was dying. She just needed the comfort and guidance of her mothers and you both gave her that, she would always have that ready and waiting should she need it.

Before her final year in college she brought home her first boyfriend. This time it was Emily who needed to be reminded that Delilah was smart and wouldn't choose anyone unworthy. She knew her self worth you'd both made sure of that. Emily couldn't help but profile the guy though, and she made sure to keep a protective eye on Delilah. Even going as far to warn him on all the things she could make happen if he ever hurt her in any way shape of form.

The same boyfriend was about to marry your daughter, he became just as much a child to you as your work children. He made your little girl happy and that was all that matters. After all they shared a love similar to you and Emily and that was truly the highlight of your life. Your daughter truly was a mini Emily, even opting for a similar style of clothing as your wife. It was clear she admired her, but she would adopt traits that were undeniably you. And that's what you'd always dreamed of, a mini Emily mixed with the better parts of you. Your perfect flower, only now she'd bloomed and now was going to be someone else's. That's okay though because she will always be yours and Emily's daughter, the miracle of your lives.

Word count~ 1314

[niafromheaven]

Back on my Emilute bs

WHO LIVES WHO DIES WHO TELLS YOUR STORY

AU where Lute died first instead of Adam. Emily is a LOT more vengeful and becomes an exorcist in Lute's place. (Not drawn yet, but will be. I'll repost when that's drawn)

And before you say, "Oh EMilY woUldn'T do ThaT" shut up. Just enjoy it.

.

Sera:Let me tell you what I wish I'd known

When the earth was young and we dreamed of glory

You have no control

All:Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

Sera:Adam?

Adam:I'll give her this, her plans of attack were a work of genius

I couldn't go against her if I tried...

And I tried.

All:Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

Sera:Saint Peter?

Saint Peter:She protected our kingdom from Lucifer's tyranny.

I hate to admit it

But she doesn't get enough credit for all the lives she saved, including us.

All:Who lives, who dies, who tells your story

Adam:Every other important angel's story gets told

Every other important angel gets to grow old

Saint Peter:But when you're gone, who remembers your name?

Who keeps your flame?

Who tells your story?

All:Who tells your story?

All:Who tells your story?

All:Emily...

Emily:I put myself back in the narrative

(All:Emily)

Emily:I stop wasting time on tears

I live another thousand years

It's not enough

(All:Emily)

Emily:I interview every exorcist who fought by your side

(Exorcist angels:She tells our story)

Emily:I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of strategies

You really do write like you're running out of time

I rely on Adam

While he's alive, we tell your story

He is buried in the church of Saint Peter near you

When I needed him most, he was right on time

And I'm still not through

I ask myself, what would you do if you had more time?

The Lord, in his kindness

He gives me what you always wanted

He gives me more time

I raise funds in the capital for the exorcists arena!

(Adam:She tells my story)

Emily:I speak out against demon redemption!

You could have done so much more if you only had time

And when my time is up, have I done enough?

All:Will they tell your story?

Emily:Oh, can I show you what I'm proudest of?

(All:The Exorcist Academy)

Emily:I established the first private academy for newborn exorcists..

(All:The Exorcist Academy)

I help to raise hundreds of warriors

I get to see them growing up

(All:The Exorcist Academy)

Emily:In their eyes I see you, my Lute...

I see you every time

And when my time is up

Have I done enough?

Will they tell your story?

Oh, I can't wait to see you again

It's only a matter of time

Will they tell your story?

(All:Time)

All:Who lives, who dies, who tells your story? (Time)

Will they tell your story? (Time)

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

[idyllicb]

depths of dreams - one

summary: Parker and Emily join the team after a rough start with the Unit Chief.

warnings: regular criminal minds talk, nothing too crazy

words: 2.9k

an: new fic ?? this has been in the drafts for so long that I fear it may finally be time to let her shine ! hoping for somewhat continuous updates but we shall see... this is also cross-posted on ao3 !

 “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

– Vincent Van Gogh

PARKER FELT HER HEART HAMMER IN HER CHEST, the box of her belongings felt heavy in her hands. She silently cursed the world for letting the Virginia traffic be so terrible. She had less than ten minutes to be in the Unit Chief’s office before she was officially late for her first day, Parker thanked herself for not wearing heels. 

The young agent had been told to pursue the team opening in the BAU after her supervisor mentioned it. She loved working for the Criminal Investigative Division– but she wanted a challenge, something new. Parker has started some consultant work on the side and has been a big help in some cases that needed an extra push to be solved. Her professors called it dream analysis, she was actively studying someone’s dreams to find hidden meanings or secrets. Parker liked to think of it as her specialty and was often called in on cases with kids and young adults. She gave cognitive interviews to victims who underwent some sort of trauma and used her skills to unlock memories that were hidden just beneath the surface. Parker liked to think she made the right decision going into the FBI at the age of twenty-three but she was tired of the repetition. Solving the same violent crimes and narcotics trafficking was becoming her least favorite thing to do and she loved being a part of the bureau. When her boss told her about the job with the BAU team, she immediately jumped at the opening and applied, she got the job within days. 

Parker stepped out of the very slow-moving elevator and a smile made its way to her face at the sight of the crest of the glass doors in front of her. She balanced the box between her chest and one of her hands, the other slid across the cool metal handle as she pushed the door open. She tried to slow her racing heart as all the other agents in the room turned to look at her. Parker moved with ease through the room, she had asked directions from one of the academy officers on the first floor. She gripped the box tighter at the sight of the closed office door. The brunette pushed her legs up the small set of stairs and cringed at the thought of interrupting something important. She lifted an empty hand to knock softly against the wood and heard a voice answer in return, 

“Come in,” Parker twisted the knob in her hand and moved inside the room. 

“I am so incredibly sorry I’m late! Parker Moore and I promise I will never be late again sir.” The young woman moved to place her box of personal items on his desk before extending her hand out to greet her new boss, he reached over his desk and accepted it with a strong grip. 

“Aaron Hotchner and no worries, I was just greeting Agent Prentiss.” The Unit Chief pointed to the other person in the room that Parker barely even saw when entering his office. 

“Emily Prentiss, nice to meet you!” a small laugh made its way out of the raven-haired woman and Parker shook her hand meeting her eyes with a big smile.

“Parker Moore, like you just heard, but it’s so nice to meet you.” Emily nodded and let her hand fall back to her side before glancing back to Hotchner. Parker saw a box in front of Emily and looked at her with confusion written all over her face before hearing Hotchner speak.

“Now, how can I help both of you?” A small polite smile made its way to the man's face, matching the one on Agent Prentiss’. Parker tilted her head and glanced back to Emily. She noticed that it didn’t quite meet his eyes, noticed that it felt more like a professional courtesy than anything truly personal.

“It’s my first day-” Parker started but stopped as she heard the same thing come out of the other agent's mouth. Emily now eyed Parker and she felt her throat go dry, why would two new people be starting the same day? Neither woman moved as Hotchner glanced between the two, eyes glazing with caution.

“Sorry?” His own confusion was present and the three were all left speechless as they stared at one another. Emily moved first, reaching into her own box and pulling out a piece of paper. Parker soon followed and went to grab her own transfer paper.

“I’m supposed to start today, here at the BAU,” Emily smiled and straightened her posture and Hotchner glanced at the shorter girl. Practically willing her to pull the matching transfer paper.

Parker did, producing the paper for him to see. “I am too, here’s the paperwork.” Parker let him grab the sheet from her and watched as the Unit Chief glanced at both transfer papers like they insulted him.

“There must have been a mistake, I’m sorry. I never approved of any transfers.” He looked up to see both of their reactions before looking over the official paperwork again. “There’s definitely been a mistake.”

“I don’t think so, Sir-” Emily started but was interrupted when a voice broke through the awkward tension in the room. 

“Excuse me, we’re getting started.” A petite blonde woman peeked into the office and Hotchner sent a nod in her direction.

“Thank you, I’ll be right there.” The blonde left and the three were left alone again. Hotchner handed their paperwork back to the rightful owner and sighed through his nose. “I never approved of either of these transfers, I’m sorry Agent Prentiss and Agent Moore.” Both women had defeated looks on their faces and before either of them could get another word in he spoke again, “I’m sorry for the confusion, you both have been misinformed. Now if you’ll excuse me-” Hotchner moved to leave and Emily moved from her spot but Parker hadn’t budged. “It was good seeing you again Prentiss, have a great day Agents.” Before either of them could utter a response he was out the door. Parker shook off the feeling in her chest and grabbed her own box, Emily right behind her. They stood together in the doorway of Hotchner’s office and heard his conversation with an older man walking out of an office. 

“Gideon, you didn’t approve of any transfers did you?” Parker’s eyes widened at the name and she felt her shoulders tense at the thought of Gideon’s career. The two men looked over towards the other two still in Hotchner’s office. 

“No, I would have discussed it with you first.” Parker felt Emily deflate next to her as they started walking away.

“That’s what I thought. Anyways they both had the paperwork to join the team, who would’ve gone over us and transferred two agents?” The two continued chatting as they got farther from the two women who were straining to hear them. 

“Well, that’s not a good sign.” Emily let her shoulders sag, a more relaxed posture taking over.

“That’s one way to put it,” Parker wasn’t sure what to do with this information, had she not been officially transferred? Was this some joke from her coworkers or her own boss? That didn’t explain it happening to Agent Prentiss either, there had to be something else going on. 

“Well I’m not going to wait around for them to get back from a case, you want to grab a coffee? I could make a phone call and get some intel on this case to see when they get back.” Emily locked eyes with the shorter Agent, and Parker lit up the tiniest bit. 

“I’d love that, my supervisor knows Agent Hotchner so I could try him to see if he can tell us what’s going on too.” Emily smiled at her and nodded for them to leave, “This isn’t going to interrupt anything, is it? I don’t wanna intrude if you have plans!” Parker rushed to get out as they made their way through the bullpen. 

“These were my only plans, Moore, no worries here.” Emily hit the elevator button with her elbow and Parker saw a smile break out on the other Agent’s face. 

“Please Parker is fine, anything else makes me feel old - but same here.” They both stepped into the elevator.

“Oh my God you must be at least five-no, ten years younger than me! Look at you, you are not old!” Emily started laughing when a blush broke out on Parker’s face, “Where’d you go to school Parker? I want to guess Columbia or Brown!” Parker hit the ground floor button after waiting to see if anyone would join them. 

“Dartmouth,” Parker began and saw Emily smile next to her “with a bachelor in cognitive science and linguistics.” Emily laughed next to her and scoffed as they finally reached their destination. 

“Do I even wanna know what your minor was?” 

“International studies, but I was close to picking art history.” Parker watched as Emily threw her head back in a laugh.

“Now I’m embarrassed about my own college degree.” Parker felt a frown make an appearance as they walked out the front door to the academy. 

“No! I’m sure it’s impressive, let me guess over coffee! Don’t sell yourself short Prentiss.” The taller agent sighed but still held a smile on her face, 

“As long as you’re buying.” Parker nodded enthusiastically and as the two took their belongings to their cars, they continued chatting about anything and everything.

“I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with majoring in criminology! It’s a fantastic degree program, and linguistics is great, but I may be biased.” Parker sipped her hot latte as Emily stirred some sugar into her own coffee. 

“Fair I guess but still, you’re twenty-seven and have quite the academic background to you already. You said you worked in CID right? That can be some tough stuff sometimes.” Emily brought her cup to her lips and took a small sip, the steam still rising off the hot liquid. Parker let out a hum of agreement before continuing, 

“Yeah, Criminal Investigative Division, nothing special to it. It’s practically the easiest job to get in the FBI. Plus I’m involved in some consultant work for dream analysis on the side.” She started reaching for her latte and Emily just stared at her with wide eyes. 

“Parker, you joined the FBI barely four years ago, I’d say you’re on the right track.” Emily locked eyes with the younger girl, eyeing her carefully. For the second time Parker blushed at Emily’s words and she just nodded in response, a small smile could be seen on both Agent's faces. “Hey listen, Parker, I’m sure everything will turn out okay, alright? Give me your phone number, and I’ll let you know when I hear anything.” The brunette slid her phone from her pocket and Emily put her contact information in, Parker heard a small ding go off in her new friend’s bag. They finished up their coffees and headed home after talking for two more hours. Parker was quick to lock the door to her apartment, placing her purse on the counter. She was topping off her cat's bowl with new food when she heard her phone go off later that night. 

My guy says they’ll be back in 2-3 days, I’ll let you know when I get more info.

She quickly replied, Sounds good! My boss said he got news of my transfer being approved by someone higher. Maybe the Director or someone else went over Hotchner?

Emily didn’t reply for a few minutes but it didn’t do anything to her confusion about this whole thing. 

Yeah, who knows, I don’t personally know the Director so guess we’ll have to wait and see.

A second text followed barely three seconds later, 

Get some sleep, try not to think about it all. I’ll let you know anything when I do. 

Parker didn’t feel the need to reply but responded with a quick text about how she should do the same. Both agents could hardly sleep that night but they tried their hardest to keep the BAU out of their heads for the rest of the night.

EMILY’S GUY WAS IN FACT WRONG and the BAU hadn’t come back to Virginia for four days. They spent three of those days working on a case that was brought in, together, hoping to formulate a plan to tell the Unit Chief they were the right people for the job. The two non-official members of the unit made their way into Hotchner’s office and awaited his return. 

“You don’t think he’ll find it weird that we’re just sitting and waiting for him in his office?” Parker paced the small room and Emily watched her preparing the file with newfound confidence,

“We’re all agents it’s fine. Would you please come sit down, you’re gonna stress yourself out.” Parker cracked her fingers and took a seat next to the raven-haired woman. 

“I’m not stressed, I’m worried.” 

“Yes, I can see that. Come here and let’s go over what we know about his unsub again for the mini profile, he should be here any minute.” Emily glanced between the office blinds and the door, her eyesight never straying too long from the folder in her lap. The heavy door was finally pushed open and Parker looked up, locking eyes with the Unit Chief. 

“Please tell me you haven’t been waiting here for the last four days.” His tone was monotone and both women could see the tired look in his eyes. 

“We heard you were flying in tonight,” Parker said quickly and could see Emily nodding beside her.

“Heard? Who would’ve told you that?” His guard was up and they could both tell, Emily stood up reaching over to hand the folder to him, and the younger agent watched his reaction. Hotchner looked between the pair and gripped the folder a bit tighter,

“This was dropped off today,” Emily rushed out.

“Listen, Agents, I appreciate your interest in this field, both of you. You’ve both got great credentials. But profiling is a specialty, not something you can just pick up in the span of a few days.” He walked around his desk, seeming to look between the women and the clutter.

Emily placed her hands together and spoke with confidence “The I-80 killer? Killing in Indiana,”

“Yes, I read it on the plane,” Hotchner interrupted.

“We know they’re not blitz attacks, he’s organized-” Parker started her part in the profile and saw the Unit Chief look at them differently. “He’s a white male in his early thirties, and he’s a smooth talker.” Parker glanced at Emily to finish it off.

“He’s killed eleven victims so far and yet he’s still able to convince educated women to get in his car fully knowing there’s a serial killer out there.”

“How would you advise police?” Hotchner crossed his arms waiting for them to respond.

“A stakeout out at the ranch house, or at the nightclub where a very popular ladies night happens every Thursday.” Emily walked around the small coffee table separating them and stood next to Hotchner.

“We looked closer at the victims and eight out of eleven of them were reported missing on a Friday morning. Meaning something gets this creep going on Thursday nights.” Parker finished and stepped closer to Agent Hotchner, the two women standing their ground. He looked between them not knowing if they had anything else to add to the profile, but Emily broke the silence. 

“This isn’t just us going out on a whirl Agent Hotchner. We put in the work and put together a profile that fits this unsub. We don’t know what happened with the paperwork, and I know I can’t speak for Agent Moore because her parents aren’t ambassadors and maybe you think my parents pulled strings. I can tell you right now that they didn’t and we both deserve a chance, the opportunity to be a part of this unit. Let us show you how we can help the team.” Emily’s voice wavered as Parker watched in awe as her new friend stood proud and tall next to the older Agent. Hotchner took his eyes off Parker’s friend and stared at her for a few seconds before speaking, 

“I will not promise anything, I still want to look into this.” He paused and Parker swallowed down her nerves, 

“Understood.” The brunette spoke first but Emily agreed with a simple nod.

“However, we do brief new cases every morning at ten. Talk to facilities management about new desks.” Parker could see the smile form on Emily’s face, she was sure her face held a similar one. Both women turned to grab their belongs left on Hotchner’s couch and as Parker held the door open for her and her friend she heard her reply,

“You won’t be sorry, thank you, Agent Hotchner.” His head turned down he pushed some files around on his desk.

“Hotch is fine,” the Unit Chief started but when he saw Parker start to close the door he cleared his throat. “Agent Moore?” The younger woman pushed the door open and stood straighter,

“Yes, sir?”

“Try not to be late tomorrow.” His voice lifted the slightest and the girl knew he was joking with her but with a promise to her new boss that she wouldn’t be late, she closed the door behind her.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”

— J.P. morgan

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[trolagygirl2022]

Potential Dream Academy lineup

(this reading was done 16/11/2023 at 5:46 PM)

Yoonchae: Ace of Wands, The Fool, Ace of Swords.

Now she has the potential to surprise people, either with her votes or the judges score. I'm also getting they have a lot of ideas for her so it's possible that she will be put in another gg. 30-40% chance

Sophia: 6 of Wands, 4 of Wands, 10 of Cups, King of Pentacles.

If she doesn't make it in it's rigged. She has ALOT of popularity and support from her country so defiantly. 99.999 percent

Manon: The Star, Page of Swords, 7 of Cups.

A very big maybe. Like she does have the fame but she has a lot of opportunities so she will defiantly be in the spotlight one way or another. 50-60% chance

Ezrela: 8 of Cups, 7 of Wands, 10 of Swords 5 of Cups, 7 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles, Knight of Cups

Yeah no Ezrela's possibility of making it is very low. She may be rigged in favour of another contestant and she probably wants to leave anyways. I'm imagining a lot of backstabbing and issues going behind the scenes. 1-10% chane.

Emily: 3 of Wands rev, 5 of Wands, 9 of Cups, 3 of Cups, Page of Pentacles, 10 of Wands.

Emily is a hard worker but I'm not very sure of her making it. Her energy is very tiring, she seems tired. I'm picturing her in a dance room working her butt off. It's certain that she is going to be sucessful one way or another. I would say 20-40% chance.

Daniela: The Emperor, Knight of Cups, 8 of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, 6 of Swords, The Hanged Man, The World.

Mkay Daniela seems to be quite stuck and may worry about how good she is. It seems that she has people pushing her, perhapes a male figure? (maybe also a female figure, perhaps her parents or she seems to think alot). However the energy is quite relaxed so I would say 60-80%

Lara: 8 of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords.

Lara feels like she has a lot to learn but she is definatly going to have the votes to make it dw. 90-100% chance.

Megan: Queen of Swords, The High Priestess, Knight of Cups.

I like her energy, very cool and quiet. She also seems to have a lot of thoughts but she's keeping it cool. She has a stable chance, 50-75% chance.

Marquise: 2 of Pentacles rev, 5 of Cups rev, Queen of Swords.

Holly shit this girl seems unstable af. I don't think her chances are that high either. Like 10-30%

Samara: Queen of Pentacles, Temperance, The Magician, King of Cups rev, 9 of Swords, The Sun.

You don't know how many times I had to re-shuffle this girl's energy gives me a headache. Like it's hard to decipher it like I don't even know. She, though has support from Brazilians is very worried, like a lot she's kind of a mess rn. I have a feeling she has family pressure? Like I'm imagining her on the phone in bed and a family member (her mother?) is screaming at her and she's in tears so she's very very worried.

The lineup is:

Sophia

Lara

Daniela

Megan

Yoonchae

Manon