#dumb WolfHox AU thing

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox AU Part 6

[Link to Part 5 here]

"Your kind are not welcome on my property."

Wolf feels the corner of his mouth curl. He takes his time flicking the excess ash from the end of his cigarette onto immaculately maintained lawns.

"You'll have to be more specific. Do you mean Swedish people?"

"You," Jeremy continues, seething so hard spittle sprays the side of Wolf's cheek, "have humiliated me in front of my family and friends with your - your - performance back there with my son."

Wolf continues to take his time, inhaling deeply and blowing a rough smoke circle when eh was done. "I thought they were quite entertained."

In the corner of his eye, Wolf sees Hoxton's father draw himself up to his full height - which isn't much, he realises with a smirk.

"I expect you to be gone before noon tomorrow. Am I clear? Faggots are not welcome in my home."

At the slur Wolf actually looks the man in the eye. He gazes at him - sees how anger and drink has blotched his face a violent red - how his jowls quiver - and how his curled fists shake.

"You'll need to repeat that. It's hard to hear when you're all the way down there."

Jeremy's face purples. He makes a noise like a wounded animal, and Wolf sidesteps his clumsy punch with ease. He turns, pivoting on one foot, and gives the man a good, hard shove into the shrubbery.

"Good fucking riddance," he says under his breath.

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox AU thing Part 5

[Link to Part 4 here]

It means a lot to Hoxton's parents that they appear as normal as possible; normal for them meant keeping up appearances, being the ideal rich landowners who hold resplendent balls and give generously at their friend's charity functions whilst secretly scorning those who seek such support.

As such, they hate Wolf's outfit just as much as Hoxton loves it. Hoxton watches as his mother's lips purse, squeezing together so tightly it looks as if she just swallowed a lemon whole. His father sneers and tuts, but says nothing.

The obvious display of distaste has him pull Wolf closer, fully into his side.

The time comes for everyone to dance, and the two of them stand and take to the dancefloor. It strikes Hoxton in that moment that of all the things they'd coordinated on, they had failed to discuss the dance or what kind of moves they'd pull.

Fortunately, Wolf had a few ideas of his own.

They danced together - the typical shite Hoxton saw women fawn over on programmes like Strictly Come Dancing and shite of that ilk.

Then the only warning he got was Wolf's hands pressing firmly into his middle as the Swede lifts him up, whirling him off his feet and back onto the floor again after a 180 spin.

Hoxton's surprised squeal ("It was a manly grunt, actually-") made Wolf grin. At every opportunity he span Hoxton again and again, lifting him easily and attracting the attention of the other guests.

"That's Priscilla and Jeremy's eldest - James - look, he's dancing with a man!"

"Good Heavens, what is he wearing?"

"I hear poor Jeremy had to increase his blood pressure medication-"

"Is he wearing glitter?"

"I knew James would turn out wrong, ever since they let him keep his hair all long like that. It's not right. It's girls' hair."

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox Au Part 2 [Link to Part 1 here]

"You sure know how to make a guy feel special, Hox," Chains says, folding his arms as his eyes crinkle in amusement. "You gonna tell 'im what else they'll hate? Go on, really boost his ego-"

Wolf is starting to see the possibilities, though. He rests his head on his hand, thinking.

"If you really want to make their lives miserable - & possibly get me killed - I could flirt with your dad at this thing," he muses, "maybe tell 'em I work as a stripper. Heavily imply I'm only with you for the money & mansion. Call you 'Daddy'. Wear one of those shirts that says 'Don't bully me, I'll cum-"

"Don't bully me, you'll what?"

"Cum, Dallas," Wolf deadpans, as Chains CACKLES. "Keep up."

When the ruckus that causes dies down, Hoxton becomes serious again.

"Look - I went about this all wrong. I don't actually want you to get hurt by them. But I really do wanna take the mick, & I reckon you'd be good at it." Hoxton frowns, and prepares himself to be vulnerable for a change. "These things are always miserable for me. You'd make them a bit more interesting, at least."

"Smooth, Hox. You should be a pick-up artist-"

"Shut the fuck up, Chains-"

Wolf considers Hoxton for a long moment, weighing up the proposal. Then,

"You're paying for everything. And we fly Business Class - at least."

The terms are relatively tame.

"Done!" Hoxton whoops and shakes Wolf's hand - the deal is done. "England, here we come!"

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox Au Idea Part 7

[Link to Part 6 Here]

Wolf breathes heavily through his nose. The initial thrill of verbally sparring with Hoxton's dad, and the grim satisfaction at sending him sprawling into his own shrubbery is fading fast. The slur repeats over & over in his head like children reciting a nursery rhyme. It taunts and provokes, needling him as his anger rises. He feels his grip on the present slipping, the berserker rage he gets during a shootout with the cops swarming his thoughts.

"That was fuckin' beautiful, Wolfie."

Hoxton's voice snaps Wolf free of his thoughts. He turns to see the Brit gazing at him from the concrete steps leading up to the main house, hands in his pockets and a twinkling smile on his face. There is admiration and mirth in equal measure in that gaze, and it makes his heart stutter hopelessly.

It's enough to have him stop whatever it was he was about to do to Hoxton's father.

Speaking of which, Wolf can hear the man groaning behind him, stumbling about.

"Quite a fall you've had there, Dad," Hoxton sneers the last word like it contaminates his mouth. He isn't wrong - Wolf can see smudges of dirt on the older man's face and clothes, with some leaves and twigs from the shrubbery embedded into his suit jacket. It makes him chuckle - Hoxton glances at him and grins.

Because the thing is, Wolf does like Hoxton. He was so willing to participate in this charade because it meant more time alone with Hoxton - from the plane ride to their time spent together causing mischief in the Hoxworth manor house. It feels natural, it feels right as he tucks himself into Hoxton's side.

His cheeks flame as Hoxton wraps an arm around his middle, squeezing him, holding him more closely.

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox AU thing Part 4.

[Link to Part 3 here]

It is the night of the ball. Hoxton fiddles with the cufflinks his mother bought him, deciding it isn't worth the hassle to fight her on it - especially when she, out of both of his parents, had been the least despicable when it came to accepting his 'boyfriend', Wolf.

Her face - and eyebrows in particular - spoke volumes the woman would never ever actually say out loud. But unlike his father, who spouted homophobic, racist and otherwise unpleasant rhetoric at the sight of him and Wolf, she was positively an impeccable Ally.

Wolf appears in the finery him and Hoxton had commissioned in DC before making the Business Class flight over the Pacific.

It was unfair, how good Wolf looked in something they'd had custom-made purely for the sake of spoiling his parents' attempts to keep up appearances that their troublesome middle son had turned out alright in the end.

Wolf looked good. He wore a form-hugging night-black trouser and waistcoat set that shimmered with gold and silver iridescence as he moved. The waistcoat was lengthened at the back with tassels, from which hung polished Swarovoski crystals that tinkled and sparkled. To accentuate the muscles of his arms - and his partially exposed chest - Wolf had dusted himself with glitter, strategically placed to draw the eye. And he had done - something - to his face - trimmed the beard, thinning his face, the high points of his face so kissable and-

"Do I look okay?" Wolf asks.

His words interrupt Hoxton's open-mouthed inspection - appreciation - and the Brit meets his eye and swallows, hard.

Fucking hell.

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox AU Part 3

[Link to Part 2 here]

The most difficult thing for Hoxton, it turns out, is keeping a straight face as him and Wolf wreck havoc.

"This is my boyfriend," Hoxton drawls, as Wolf clings to him, running a hand suggestively over his chest - lingering especially over where his nipples would be. The little shit even pops the top two buttons on Hoxton's shirt open, giggling and not even greeting his parents - he had eyes for Hoxton, and Hoxton only.

His father's face purples immediately - his mother gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish - one of the maids drops a glass, shattering it.

Things only get more ludicrous from there. Hoxton's parents were traditionalists through and through - and propriety dictated their reluctance to correct or chastise Wolf's behaviour - at least directly.

For dinner that night, Wolf wore a leather choker with the words 'Daddy's Girl' emblazoned in crushed diamonds.

"So, Ulf," Hoxton's mother asks stiffly, directing her eyes anywhere else but the ostentatious collar her son was running his fingers over, "how did you meet my son?"

"At work," Wolf says, keeping his eyes on Hoxton the entire time, "he was my best paying client. Still is."

"Oh?"

"Ja. I'm a stripper."

Her eyebrows shoot into her hairline. Hoxton's father slams a fist against the table, rattling the cutlery and fine china dinnerware.

"He's a WHAT?!"

"Oh, you know-" Hoxton waves a hand dismissively, whilst keeping the other firmly around Wolf's neck, "exotic dancer. Lap dancer. Professional shirt-lifter."

Wolf wants to laugh, but manages to turn it into a coquettish little giggle at the last minute. "He tips well," he sighs, nuzzling Hoxton's neck with his nose.

Hoxton's mother drains the rest of her glass without another word.

[what-yadoking-likes]

Friends - I know this is serious, but we've got to have some fun too, yah?

... I asked ChatGPT for some ideas for a cute WolfHox fic. Here are the results...

Ideas 3 & 4 felt rather same-y, but I do love me a good fake-dating AU. Maybe ChatGPT reads my blog and is familiar with my preferences...

Anyway, I was interested in hearing more about the Coffee Shop AU, so I asked it to go into more detail &... its answer made me actually laugh out loud.

I was surprised to see Hoxton ordering coffee in this coffee shop au. I mean, sure - I'm Bri'ish, and I love coffee. I drink at least 2 cups most days. I also do love my tea, and am picky when it comes to English Breakfast tea (my family used to ship the specific brand I drink over when I lived abroad). Anyway, Hoxton strikes me as a tea drinker - the kind who drinks around 6 cups every day.

WOLF WAS IN THE MILITARY??? JKJHDSJHAKDJFHJFH okay now THAT made me laugh. We all knows Chains was a Navy SEAL for a time, but Wolfie? I was prepared to let this go because hey, it's an au, right? Any backstory is possible!...

... except for the fact that they're still both members of the Payday gang??!? DOES CHATGPT KNOW WHAT AN AU IS. CHATGPT ARE YOU OKAY HUN.

Wtfff okay uhhh - so maybe they join the Payday gang anyway? Idk. This au started off cute, but now just sounds dumb. I know technically even my long-running fic The Cell is an AU, but i was expecting something even more... AU-y?

Aww. Well, at least the ending was cute.

In conclusion to my dumb experiment using ChatGPT to generate fic ideas - it gives you a starting point. Not every detail will work, make sense or satisfy you as a writer or your audience of readers. It's probably best to use ChatGPT as a starting point if you are in need of prompts (and don't have access to the thousands of prompt lists already readily available online). It was interesting to me to have such an immediately visceral 'There's no fucking way Wolf would have been in the military even in a fucking AU' reaction. Maybe y'all will disagree with me. Sometimes these things can be useful though because it can tell you for certain if you hate something, and it could even point you in the direction of something you think would work.