#dunno if that last tag is necessary but adding it just in case :p

[lowoserdrawsstuff]

drew our beloved wet cat of a man, jon sims!! totally didn’t write out the name of each episode, knowing full well the majority of them would be covered, just to make sure the spacing was somewhat consistent

another version (subtle but major spoiler warning!!)

[littlehollyleaf]

Ask a writer!

tagged by @mysillylittlesoapbox (yes I do still write fic... sometimes :p I’m afraid it’s all Gotham now though!) ...I don’t usually do memes about my writing though so, this should be...interesting...

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

my name is holly, holly leaves are a thing, I wanted to just be ‘hollyleaf’ but it was already taken so I figured ‘well hey, I’m also small...’ and voila! (no, I’m so sorry, but the Warrior Cats series was not involved at any point, I still haven’t read them and only know a character has my username, or a version of it, because of all the asks I keep getting about it :P)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

So I had a quick glance at AO3 and this is something it looks like WAAAAY too much effort for my lazy ass to figure out, plus I dunno how accurate the AO3 stats would be for my stuff anyways because I only very recently put all my fic on there after having most of it posted (and therefore commented on and otherwise interacted with) solely over at LJ for years and years...

I would imagine it’s Imitating Life (spn, deancas), because that’s the one I remember getting the most feedback for. So I’ll just go with that!

3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

It’s the same as my tumblr one. Because it’s me and I already had the image saved in an appropriate size. I know, dull right?? (back on LJ I was OBSESSED with finding and/or creating SO MANY different icons to convey different moods and whatnot - they were basically an oldschool version of reaction gifs I guess - but on any other platform I’ve been just... meh about the icon thing... idk!)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

@vampirebillionaire has been a regular for my Gotham stuff, notable for jumping ship with me into foxma :) (well not jumping... simultaneously enjoying :p), for which I am profoundly grateful xx but generally my fic style and content is a bit... eclectic I guess? so no, no one who is super regular

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Of my own? Nah. Well... not AGAIN AND AGAIN like on the regular. I HAVE re-read my stuff OF COURSE :p But usually it’s me re-reading previous parts of a series/set to get the feel for the story/characters again as I write new stuff. Though admittedly I have re-read Imitating Life more than most probably, to check it still reads okay.

As to other authors’ fics - I must confess that I read less and less these days, so there is def not a single one I constantly return to.

I have, however, re-read a few by depthsofgreen since I got into Gotham, as well as some by rissalf and silentsinger

Back in the day there was this one spn last unicorn AU I used to re-read the night before each premiere, because it was a deliciously angsty way to get me in the mood for a new season and pass the time while waiting - particularly notable because AUs are not really my thing, so it was an interesting choice for me to keep returning to! Alas I have lost my link to it however :( Should anyone know the one I mean drop me a line! (Cas was the unicorn, obvs, Dean was the Prince, Sam was Schmendrick, Anna was Molly and Meg was Fortuna)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I have ONE (1) story bookmarked - because it is a WIP I am following (and I just learnt how to bookmark the other month)

...what even is subscribing and how is it different??

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

None at all if possible. Although most of my fics end up being Canon Divergent in the end ofc they are generally canon compliant (based on my interpretation of the canon anyways) at the time of writing... Sometimes canon changes things while I am in the middle of writing stuff though ofc (*shakes fist at Gotham right now*), in which case I will unavoidably be writing something knowingly Canon Divergent/What If.

(aside - I tried to write an spn x-men AU once, but I got bored very quickly... full on AUs are just not me!)

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

OH THERE’S A STATS PAGE?

*checks*

K - 34 subscribers and 423 bookmarks (whoa that seems a lot??)

hey there’s graphs and stuff with your top five fics based on hits too - that’s pretty cool - my top is in fact Holding On and Letting Go... probably because it was one of my last big spn fics and one of the first I published on AO3...

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

No... I mean... I don’t think so? If there ever has been it’s passed me by and I’ve forgotten about it.

...for a hot minute I was into Eddie/Isabella in Gotham, and that plot was ofc (understandably) received VERY POORLY by the fandom, so I may have at one point been hesitant to explore that idea (and the related Ozzie/Eddie/Izzy thoughts I had) because of that... but I never got as far as wanting to actually WRITE anything that I recall so... I guess not really?

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

There’s a couple of dumb little grammatical things I wish I was better at remembering - like when it’s ‘passed’ and when it’s ‘past’ or when it’s ‘effect’ and when it’s ‘affect.’ Because I forget and have to look it up Every.Damn.Time!

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Well, the ship I’ve written most for is deancas - so it’s def ‘popular ships’ I write most! (though I would like to point out that it WASN’T ONE when I STARTED :p). 

I’m not opposed to writing rarepairs as well however (she says, in the middle of a huge Gotham rarepair series!). I just write... whatever I’m enjoying most at the time.

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

I’ve got 39 works up on AO3. Never published on FFNet. Probably got a few little things that I’ve only ever published on tumblr (like my cracky spn/WtNV crossover :p), so total number published across the board is more like 40ish...

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

(not counting the abandoned spn x-men AU that will remain forever unfinished) Just one. I CANNOT work on more than one fic at a time.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

In my head (my stories are never especially complex after all). Once I’m stuck into a fic though I do tend to start creating bullet points below the main text of certain things that are coming next - like specific lines or phrases/metaphors I might think up as I go that I want to make sure I include, or the order of certain scenes if there is a series of short ones on the way, or sometimes points with question marks if I haven’t quite decided on something (eg. ‘have Eddie take his hat off here or wait until Ozzie smiles at him?’ that kind of thing...)

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

No. I came CLOSE to co-writing a DCBB with the lovely @takadainmate YEARS AGO but we never quite made it work (I got a distracted by involving Balthazar in a subplot and went on my own tangent, we had trouble even getting together to discuss it, the deadline started looming and eventually we wisely close to call it a day!). 

For a while there were VAGUE murmurings about returning to the idea... but the plot involved Dean and Cas getting trapped together in Purgatory you see aND THEN SEASON 8 HAPPENED!! So we decided to let canon run with it instead :P

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

While I don’t use FFNet and don’t even read stuff there now, I did used to read fics on it early on. I discovered it while searching for info on my very first TV obsession Due South and was DELIGHTED to find a place full of stories about this thing I loved but had no new content for at the time :)

AO3 I remember being talked about and used a little by my LJ crowd, which is how I heard of it. I didn’t start using it myself until recently when I realised it had very much become the go-to hosting site used by tumblr fic writers.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

Nah.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

...my personal readers? As in, not the general name for the various fandoms (like ‘spn family’ or ‘Gotham fam’), but for the people who read my fic specifically?

No... that seems... weird...?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Actually... no... no one specific. Just... reading lots of fiction by lots of different writers, fic writers included, is what inspired/encouraged me to take a crack at it myself I suppose.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Do not listen to me!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Um... both I suppose. Only... my plotting isn’t really... plotting. 

Because I just... daydream, you know? And after a bit I’ll realise that I’m coming back to one particular daydream more often than another. And adding to it. And adding to it. Until I’ve got something at least vaguely coherent. At which point I make a decision as to whether I like the scenario enough to write it down or not and if I do, well, it’s already pretty much there and fully formed in my head, so no additional ‘plotting’ necessary (just the ironing out and researching of a few details).

But while I’m daydreaming... well that’s me ‘figuring it out as I go’ I guess.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

My first foray into writing fic was with a Clex re-write of S05 Smallville. It ended up being a sprawling, much too ambitious multi-chapter thing I had no hope of ever finishing. But hey, it kept me out of trouble :p 

Anyways, I was part of a sci-fi society at Uni at the time I was writing and each of us in the group developed these different fictional versions of ourselves over the course of our time together... because we were a sci-fi society and it was fun! And I thought it would be a laugh if, for one chapter, I put all of us into my SV fic. So I did (I made us all kryptonite infected characters who lived at Lex’s secret 33.1 facility - if any SV fans are reading) and prefaced the chapter with some disclaimer about how I was sorry if this part was a bit too self indulgent or ‘mary-sue’ or whatever, but that I couldn’t resist doing it for my friends, and that things would get back to normal next chapter.

And generally it was fine - I didn’t have many readers anyway :p 

But long LONG after the fact, when I had written many other chapters since, I got a comment on this one chapter from someone saying that they felt my self-insert characters came across as too obviously self indulgent and were unnecessary and that I shouldn’t have written them in.

And you know, it was a fair call. But since I’d actually prefaced the chapter with myself saying that’s EXACTLY what they were, it seemed a bit odd to me that this person would bother making a point of the issue. And to compound confusion - this person had actually already commented POSITIVELY on the chapter when I first posted it, so their comment read something like ‘I’ve been re-reading this and on consideration ACTUALLY I think you should know that...’

So... that was a bit odd. Not really bad, but notable enough that it’s stayed with me! Since I was many many chapters along in the story at that point though it was easy enough to just nod and shrug and move on.

I’m lucky in that I’ve never received any actual scathing or horribly negative comments otherwise. I like to think I’d be thoughtful and philosophical about any serious criticism I might receive...

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Hmmm. Exposition probably. My focus is typically on a character’s emotion at any given time, but when the only thing happening is characters discussing what’s happening and when and why there’s not exactly much strong emotion involved you know? So I struggle, because it’s boring to write and I constantly fear I’m not describing/depicting it in a way that is interesting to the reader and blah blah.

(part of the reason I don’t often write complex stories anymore perhaps - less narrative means less exposition!)

(smut used to be hard... now it is less so... though that doesn’t mean I think I’m good at it now! I don’t think I’ll ever shake the fear that my smut is actually cringe-worthy...) 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Just The Fox and the Scorpion :)

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

No. Like I say above - I CANNOT work on more than one fic at a time. How do people do that??? I bow to you all!

I have in the past paused in the middle of longer spn fics (like my DCBBs) to knock out some quick ‘finished in the span of an evening’ FICLETS, usually in response to specific happenings in canon (like when Gabriel died and I just HAD to type something up as an outlet). But I don’t think that’s really quite what this question means? Because those aren’t projects OR stories, they are just... SCENES, you know? Also - I haven’t written a ficlet in FOREVER, so I’m not even sure I could do it anymore...

Having said this - I DO CONSTANTLY DAYDREAM. Which involves daydreaming multiple scenarios not exclusive to whatever fic I’m in the middle of. Some of which may well end up being part of the next fic I end up writing. But that’s hardly ‘planning’ I think? Because at that stage of things I’ll have no desire to make what I’m dreaming part of an actual story/fic.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Nah. I just write when I feel like it and keep going until I’m done.

If I’m writing for a challenge this changes ofc, because DEADLINES. So sometimes I’ve had to set goals because of that - usually it’s something vague though, like ‘you need to get to this point in the plot by tomorrow night Holly, come on!’ Nothing so regimented as a specific amount of time and/or words every day.

...generally when I’m in the middle of a fic I end up in a kind of... idk, natural momentum that pulls me on? Like there’s this constant FEELING in the back of my mind urging me to get back to the story. And not in a nagging guilt kind of way, in a ‘this is what I WANT to be doing right now’ kind of way.

Not that I end up easily writing every time I get back to the fic or anything! Sometimes I’ll get back to the page and just... be stuck, find I’m not in the mood or can’t think of the words or whatever. Which is frustrating because I still have that feeling of WANTING to continue the story, but I’ll know that I’m not in the right frame of mind so have to leave it for a bit (which can be anywhere from a few hours to a week). Generally the pull to keep writing draws me back in eventually though. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Goodness yes. I think if you’re writing regularly you’re just ALWAYS improving, aren’t you? Naturally my fic today is better than my first attempts, but likewise I think some of my Gotham fics are better than my spn fics in some parts. It’s a constant process isn’t it?

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Imitating Life remains one of the fics I’m most proud of. Not only did the main story hold up well AND stick to overall canon (when it comes to Dean and Cas at least), so I think anyways, I also wove in a couple of subplots I very much enjoyed seeing through to the end. PLUS I really enjoyed all the meta nonsense, including messing about with the format to make it like look (a little bit) like a screenplay. So yes, that one will always hold a dear place in my heart :)

For Gotham I don’t think I’m ever gonna do better than We Are What We Are tbh

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Generally unimpressed by ALL my SV fic now. And considering I spent SO MANY HOURS/DAYS/WEEKS/MONTHS/YEARS of my life on it all I kinda feel like I should feel bad about that but... you know I really don’t? Because if it wasn’t for all the time and effort (and love and fun) I put into those not very good stories, I wouldn’t be enjoying the work I’m proud of and writing today. So *shrug emoji* 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

5 whole years? Tbh I rather think I’ll have stopped writing by then. I’ve been winding down when it comes to fic for a LONG TIME now and writing for Gotham feels very much like a minor, brief resurgence of the hobby. Currently planning on calling it a day once I’ve finished Fox and Scorpion in fact.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

The part that doesn’t involve writing.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Trying not to be repetitive.

Have I started a paragraph with this character’s name too many times in a row? Am I using ‘furrowed brow’/’bites lip’/’narrows eyes’/’insert stock descriptive phrase here’ too often? Did I use this phrase already or was that in another fic or in the book I was just reading? Is there too much alliteration in this sentence?  - to name but a few of the questions that inevitably pop up related to my paranoia about repetition.

33. Why do you write?

Because I’m insatiable and the stories onscreen aren’t enough for me. 

...well that was exhaustingly introspective so I’m way too tired to tag! Interesting one though, made me think! (and taught me some stuff about AO3 :p)

[imagining-spn]

Nobody Else

Characters: Dean / Reader

Requested by anonymous:  Can you do one where the reader is hunting with Sam and Dean and they go to the hospital to check the bodies and the doctor and (y/n) tease and flirt with eachother causing Dean to get jealous?

Warnings: Some swearing

Word Count: 1,761

A/N: *whispers* It’s been almost a year... I am SO sorry for being so absent from this blog, I took a break from Supernatural but I recently got back into it so I’m hoping this blog will pick up some momentum again! Feel free to start sending in requests again and I’ll do my best to start posting more frequently :)

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You and the boys were in Alexandria, Virginia. Sam found something that none of you were sure was an actual case, but you were all itching for something to investigate, anyways. Three people’s throats were slit, and their fingers were cut off and found in their stomachs. It sounded pretty odd, even for the three of you, but by this point, you’d volunteer to drive halfway around the world for even less to go off of than this. 

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. The bodies of the three victims were being held in the morgue in the hospital’s basement for the time being, and you wanted to see for yourself what you were dealing with. 

“I’ll scan the bodies for any signs of EMF, you two keep the doctor distracted after he explains what happened,” Dean whispered to you and Sam as you all walked down a narrow hallway, following the assistant who was taking you to the morgue. 

“Sounds good,” you nodded, and that was the end of that conversation. 

Once you’d arrived at the morgue, you made your way over to the doctor. He was holding a clipboard in his left hand and frowning a bit at it, but when he heard the three of you walk in, he looked up and smiled. 

“Ah, agents! What can I do for you today?” he asked, and you had to keep your heart from bursting out of his chest. The doctor was fairly young, and he had one of the most boyishly-attractive faces you’d seen in a while. He didn’t look like a baby or anything, he just had this certain hairstyle and a certain gleam in his eye that made him look...young. And you liked it. 

“I’m Agent Mulligan, these are Agents Perry and Dorsey. Can you just explain to us what happened here? Any ideas as to who did this or how it happened?” Sam questioned. 

“Of course,” the doctor nodded. You were standing just far enough away to make out the name “Dr. Griffin” on his name tag. “The victim’s fingers were cut off after they had already died, so that wasn’t used as a torture method or anything like that. Whoever did this used a pretty jagged blade according to the laceration on their necks and by their knuckles where their fingers were cut off.”

“And do you have any idea why someone would do something like this? Are there any suspects?” you wondered, noticing that Dean had begun to scan the bodies for EMF. You were already starting to think of questions to keep Dr. Griffin occupied so that he didn’t see what Dean was doing. 

He shook his head, looking genuinely remorseful. “Sorry, sweetcheeks, I’ve got no clue.” He didn’t seem to notice your shocked face at his word choice as he continued, “We’re leaving the investigating to the police and, well, you guys.”

You glanced over at Dean and saw that he had finished with two of the bodies but still had one to go. Realizing you needed to buy more time, you decided to roll with the doctor’s flirting. Besides, he was attractive and you were single. What could the harm be?

“Well, how did the fingers get in their stomachs? Did someone just...shove them in there?” you asked, cringing at your word choice. Sam smirked, seemingly catching on to what you were doing, and crossed his arms in amusement. Dean, on the other hand, opened his mouth to ask what you were doing but at the last minute closed it, choosing instead to grumble to himself. 

“Pretty much,” Dr. Griffin answered. “The victims probably would have choked if they were still alive when it happened; not many people can handle anything that big going down their throats.” With that, he gave a small wink, and it took all of your self control to keep from giggling. 

“Ah, I see,” you nodded, pretending to be in deep thought for a moment before adding, “I wonder how much I could take before choking.”

Sam coughed to keep himself from laughing at Dr. Griffin’s suddenly intense stare at you. Dean wasn’t so well-composed. 

“Alright thanks for your time I think we’ve gotta be going now we’ll call if we have any questions have a good day,” he got out in a rush, sending you and Sam a glare that said, “You’d better follow me out of here or you won’t hear the end of it later.”

You left with just a nod in Dr. Griffin’s direction. Play time was over, and now you had a case to work on. You and Sam followed Dean as he stormed back to the Impala. His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel and pulled out of the parking lot. 

“Hey, you good, man?” you heard Sam quietly ask Dean. You looked out the window, pretending not to hear them. 

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Dean replied, louder than necessary. You winced a bit as you saw him glowering at you from the rear view mirror, and you slid further down in your seat. What was he so upset about?

Later that day in the cheap motel room atmosphere you’d gotten used to since you began hunting with the brothers, the three of you were doing some research to see if anything supernatural was really the cause of this incident. 

“I’m starving,” Sam announced after a good half hour of silence. “Is anyone else hungry? I’ll go pick up some burgers or something.”

You looked up in shock. Sam hardly ever suggested burgers. As soon as you looked over at Dean, though, you knew that he was only doing it to try and get his brother out of whatever funk he’d been in for the past few hours. 

“I’ll just take a bacon cheeseburger,” you said after realizing that Dean wasn’t going to say anything voluntarily. “Dean? Do you want anything?”

“Just get me whatever looks good, Sammy,” he muttered, harshly turning the page in one of the books Sam had found. 

“Alright, I’ll be back,” Sam said as he grabbed his wallet and walked out the door. 

“And then there were two,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Dean didn’t even crack a grin, though, and you figured you’d have to do more than just that.

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something tonight, Dean?” you asked. “Anything you want.”

“Nope,” was the only response you got from the man across the room from you. You might have been imagining it, but it seemed that with every passing minute, he was scooting farther and farther away from you. 

“Well,” you tried again, “You wanna crack open a couple beers or something? Take a break from all this research?”

“I’m not really in the mood for socializing right now, y/n, but go ahead and grab me a beer from the fridge while you’re offering.”

So. That’s how this is gonna go down. You slid your chair out loudly from under you and stomped to the fridge, purposefully making as much noise as possible to let Dean know that you were frustrated. After you’d gotten his beer, you slammed it on the table in front of him and just stood there.

Dean looked up at you after realizing that you weren’t going away, and he said, “We’ve got work to do.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you finally exploded, huffing. “What did I do to make you act like such an ass?”

“Hm, I dunno,” Dean said sarcastically as he scooted back in his chair so that he had some room and crossed his arms. “Maybe it was that gross and unnecessary flirting you and Dr. G-spot were doing earlier today.”

Dr. G-spot, you thought. That’s kinda funny. You didn’t let on to your amusement thought as you scoffed, “Oh, you’re one to talk about gross and unnecessary flirting, Mr. I-go-to-the-bar-every-night-and-hook-up-with-the-first-girl-who-looks-at-me.”

“Don’t you turn this around on me,” Dean warned. “This is about you.”

“No, I think this is about you, actually. You’re the one who had such a big problem with me making a couple jokes,” you shot back. “This is something you have to figure out, not me.”

He didn’t say anything after that. He looked over at the book sitting forgotten on the table, but you knew he wasn’t actually reading any of it. You started to feel a bit guilty, wondering if you’d said something that hurt his feelings on accident. Before you could apologize, though, he said, “Don’t flirt with anyone else.” His voice had calmed down from before, and you could sense a feeling of... - what was that, jealousy? - in his voice. 

“Why not?” you asked, wondering if you were right about your suspicions as to how he was feeling. The possibility of him being jealous over you flirting with another guy made your heart beat a bit faster, and it annoyed you to no end because you didn’t know why. 

“Just don’t, y/n,” was your only reply, and it sounded like he was daring you to argue with him on this. You decided you’d had enough conflict for one day and just nodded. So that was the end of that conversation...

...Until later that night after Sam had gone to bed. It was your turn to sleep on the couch, and you couldn’t get comfortable enough to fall asleep. You were laying on your back wide awake, thinking about everything that had happened that day. Your mind wandered from what you could be dealing with on the case to how good your burger was to your earlier conversation with Dean.  You had one question about what he’d said. 

You knew Dean was still awake; you’d memorized what both of the boys’ breathing sounded like when they were sleeping. That sounds creepy, but it’s surprisingly easy to do after spending so many nights in the same motel room as them. Dean’s breathing wasn’t deep enough for him to be asleep yet. 

“What if it’s with you?” you said quietly into the darkness, looking in Dean’s direction even though you knew you wouldn’t be able to see him. 

“What?” he asked, and from his voice you could tell that his face was contorted in confusion. 

You paused for a second before saying, “What if I flirt with you?” 

You were referencing your conversation with Dean when he told you not to flirt with anyone else. He seemed to catch on to this, because with a smirk in his voice, he replied, “Well, now that wouldn’t be so bad.”

A/N: I started doing something new with including the word count and the interactive reader insert, so hopefully they add something to this! Again, sorry for being absent for so long. I promise to make it up to you!

Request here