#ed teach is like the definition of babygirl

[dragons-and-cake123]

Ok I’m just SAYING

Jim Jiménez, enby icon with their whole freaking look and hair and clothes and everything???

and Ed with his little gorgeous bun hairdo thing and making the bride figurine look like him???

Very gender, both of them.

[cuddlytogas]

an incomplete list of terrible but extremely popular Our Flag Means Death takes that I would like to never see again please

(and I do mean popular, as in, lots of people seem to think they're canon, to the point where I feel slightly insane and like I was watching a different show to everyone else)

1. Ed's mum was loving and nice and supportive, if hampered by her bad situation

this comes up more in fic than analysis, to be fair, but good god, what show were some of you watching? this isn't to vilify her, because yeah, she's clearly a product of colonialism, white christian supremacy, and domestic abuse, but like. that doesn't make how she raised Ed good. clearly she was trying to keep him safe, but "we don't deserve nice things", and especially "it's not up to us, it's up to god", speaks to me of someone who squashes down any ambition on her son's part, has fully bought into the lies of christian colonialism, and tries to pass them down to her son.

as does happen in colonised communities, particularly among older generations. I know us white people like to think that every indigenous person is a perfect left-wing anti-imperial activist, but that's simply not the case, and Ed's mum is so clearly an example of an older conservative christian indigenous parent who had to believe the lies told by their coloniser in order to survive, but is now passing on that trauma to their children. and I just...

if I read one more fic where Ed's mum is a perfect loving supportive angel who always believed in her kid and always supported and protected him, I'm gonna scream. yes, it's sweet, and it's fun to sometimes veer from canon and give your blorbo nice things, but it's still veering from canon. and yet, I see very few people acknowledge that, or actually talk about the nuances of Ed's mother, and how she definitely tried to protect him, but was far from sweet, doting, and unconditionally supportive.

2. Ed's loving look when Stede is picking food from his beard in 1x07

like most of these things, I enjoyed it as a joke or exaggeration at first, until I realised that people were actually being serious. but every time I watch that scene, I see Ed looking absently-mindedly over Stede's shoulder, because a) that's what you do when someone leans in to pick something off you, and b) surely the point of the scene is that they're so comfortable and easy together that they don't notice the intimacy of what they're doing, but Lucius, an outside observer, thinks it's obvious. right?? I can't be the only one seeing it???

[sigh]

anyway. finally, the really really big one:

3. Ed is a soft uwu babygirl princess femme bottom sub who loves her cat collar and is teaching Stede how to dom him in the "say you're the captain" scene

I mean, there's not much to say except to link to duke's absolutely phenomenal twitter thread about "how the 'babygirlfication' and infantilization of ofmd ed teach is an extension of racist perceptions of indigenous men being inherently violent and thus needing to be emasculated to be considered sympathetic"

but especially That One Fucking Scene, good lord. talk about taking shit out of context. everyone looked at a slowed-down gif of one shot in the trailer and cried "babygirl!! he's such a simp, he just wants to be dommed!!", when actually that scene is about how a) Stede is cringefail and terrible at being a typical harsh, commanding pirate, and b) Ed is lovingly embarrassed by this. he encourages Stede to assert himself (and give Ed something to do during his probation/help him make amends with the crew), but like. normally. he's acting perfectly normal in that scene, and mostly annoyed by the outfit and embarrassed by how badly Stede fails. but just because he's sitting down while Stede is standing, and he happens to take a breath in that one shot (because, you know, people breathe sometimes), everyone's doubled down on their "submissive babygirl" bullshit, and I can't get the fuck away from it.

which - listen, it's fun for me, too! it's fun to explore exaggerated aspects of a character, it's fun to read/write/draw that angle in smut, I get it! but I keep seeing people keep claim it's literally canon, and I cannot stress enough that that is Straight Up False. for the love of god, please just watch the show without your (potentially kinda racist) bias glasses on, and remember to treat the characters with respect instead of projecting onto their every interaction a shallow dom/sub binary just because you find it hot.

Our Flag is a show very specifically about masculinity, and what it means to be a man; how assumptions about that can harm and restrict men; and how men can grow beyond them. it's a nuanced and sympathetic examination of this. the whole point is that Ed is allowed to like nice fabrics and be tired of violent piracy and still be a man. the point is that two men fall in love - equal, honest, sincere love - and are still men, still exactly who they are.

(on that note, insisting that Ed is canonically trans or femme because of these things often ends up just leaning into gendered stereotypes: men are harsh and active and dominant, and women are soft and passive and submissive, and if Ed's not the former, he must be the latter, right? it also tends to hetero-ify the central relationship, casting Stede as "the boy" and Ed as "the girl", needing one to be masc and one femme. not always, and again, I understand and have enjoyed transformative works that take those elements and run with them, and explore what the story could be like if Ed were trans/nb/etc - but it's still a transformative interpretation. it's not canon.)

relatedly: those fucking wedding toppers! it seemed blatantly obvious to me that half the point of those scenes was that Ed is distraught and blaming himself for Stede leaving because he wasn't the ideal partner. it's his entire arc for the first half of season 2! Ed hates himself and believes there's something wrong about him that makes him unlovable. so he keeps and then discards the wedding toppers, painting himself onto one of them, because he's projecting himself onto an image of ideal/successful romantic love that he thinks Stede wants, and in which he doesn't fit. he's trying to mould himself into someone else to make himself lovable, not realising that Stede already loves him for himself.

like, it's important that the groom figure isn't actually like Stede, either. yes, it's blond and has a nice, peach-coloured suit, but a) Stede was very specifically unhappy in the posh, heterosexual, married state the figures represent, and b) Stede by this point looks nothing like that figurine. it's directly contrasted with the image of him in the rowboat, scruffy and plain and earnestly in love, rather than fancy, cold ceramic.

so it's important to the whole narrative that Ed's yearning for/projection onto the wedding toppers is false, and born from his insecurity. he gets drunk, and play-acts a stereotypical image of romantic happiness into which he doesn't fit, but real love looks nothing like that, because real love isn't found in stifling hegemonic cultural structures, but honest, emotional connections between people allowed to be their whole, vulnerable selves. Stede is not like the groom, and Ed is not like the bride, because they shouldn't have to be. Ed should not (and does not) have to warp himself into a demure bride in order to be worthy of love: he's already lovable and loved exactly as he is! that's the point!! of the scene!!!!!!

but no, I have to wade through swathes of art and fic and meta about how badly Ed wants to be a sweet little demure kitty princess, how he wants a wedding night and a ring to prove he's Stede's property, and acting as if this is somehow canon, because people on the internet have zero reading comprehension and are scared of brown men.

the whole point of Our Flag is that you don't need to compress yourself into prescribed social roles, and in fact, doing so will only make you miserable; and that racist, patriarchal, colonial institutions should be resisted and dismantled at every opportunity.

so tell me again why the ultimate message is that Ed and Stede should get married under an arch in front of an altar and their lined-up friends, with flowers and rice falling around them, all dressed in white, one in a suit and one in a dress, with rings and a kiss and a honeymoon after, before they move into a detached house with a yard and a fence and re-adopt the kids that Stede abandoned? and this isn't about promises, fidelity, or even monogamy - I'm specifically talking about everyone in this fandom who seems to think that the ultimate goal is the most stereotypical 20th century cisheteropatriarchal christian wedding, but with the name "matelotage" slapped on top, as if that takes away all of the underlying baggage.

just - I know we're all meant to hate men and masculinity and yadda yadda yadda, but actually, to be earnest for a second, men deserve respect too, because all people and all genders do. and two men are allowed to be in a relationship and still both be men - complex men, with their own, layered relationships to their gender - without having to fall into neatly-arranged dom/sub masc/femme roles, or seal the deal with a hegemonically-approved ceremony.

so please, stop reducing an indigenous lead character to a caricature of a femme uwu princess bottom just because he has long hair, wore a robe once, and you're too scared of brown men to imagine him with proper agency. and then please, for the love of god, stop claiming that that interpretation is canon.

[femaleboysblog]

yo!! I'm making mini garlic breads to eat while I watch the ofmd premiere, are you making something too?

also I'd love to read some of your predictions for season 2 (or like things you hope to see)

oh god, this is so sweet! I'm probably just gonna eat cereal while watching it as usual with my mom :')

from what I've gathered in the last week or so of trailers, teasers, etc coming out about season two, there IS some things I've been thinking about it.

Stede and the crew are probably homeless, a least for awhile (that part where they asked him if they're gonna sleep under a bridge or something), maybe they start living with a bunch of other pirates also with no captain or ship, going through a hard time. maybe stede (and swede, apparently) are working as a waiter on spanish jackies place to pay for food etc (and I mean, gay pirates, everywhere, so maybe he flirts with the costumers a little bit for tips or such while ed's looking violent with his puppy eyes)

I have no idea how and why but izzy is making a deal with the british and it makes me wonder if it's serious (and if so, why the hell) or if it's a decoy (the picture where they walk around in the forest, izzy wearing their jacket looks similar to that one where people found out lucius was alive, where the boys just pull the ankle of another british guy, could be the same scene), if it's a decoy, maybe he's trying to throw them off so Ed doesn't go to jail again. idk.

Eds definitely going through it™ and making it everyone's problem. I am, too, a firm believer that lucius survived by being in the walls and jim occasionally sliding some food to him.

there's also a theory that the party scene was actually a wedding, maybe even lucius and black pete BUT I just saw there's a new theory that stede and ed get engaged (insert taikas picture wearing stedes green ring) so.....do with that what you will. (also swapping each other rings as a expression of love is pretty gay to me).

overall, what I would like to see!!!

stede winning edward over again

jim and archie serving looks and being besties

lucius being, you know, lucius

I miss buttons and I would like to see more wholesome moments with him

edward teach babygirlism

the lesbian pirates wreaking chaos (wlw and mlm solidarity)

[cals-sunflower]

Dating the boys! : Cncomuch

Prettymuch

|Brandon|

• So much cuddling

•You guys love going shopping together

•”Baby which color looks better?”

•”Both look absolutely amazing but definitely the red more then the yellow, it looks fire on you..... see what I did there”

•He’ll take you to the beach and taking many pictures of you

•”Brandon, are you done yet? My legs hurt”

•”Just give me like two more poses”

•You wearing his chains when he’s not home

•Him finding you

•”Are those my chains baby?”

•”No....”

|Edwin|

•Super shy around each other at first but getting over it after he makes a bad joke

•Making jewelry together!!!

•”Mi amor, that’s not where you clip it. Let me show you”

•Breakfast in bed? Yes ma’am

•Not wanting him to leave for rehearsal in the morning

•”Edwin please come back to bed and cuddle me for like five more minutes”

•”Okay, but if I get in trouble I’m blaming you loser”

•He hypes you up even when you have sweatpants

•”Ay, look at my baby looking fly as fuck”

“Ed.... I’m in your sweatpants and an oversized hoodie?”

•”Your point is?”

|Austin|

• Painting together is definitely the move

•Laying down while playing Mario Kart? Check

•”I’m gonna whoop your ass Porter”

•”Like hell you will”

•Jumping on his back because of how y’all he is

•You watching anime with him even if you don’t know what the hell is going on

•”Thank you for being there for me”

•”Of course Austin”

|Nick|

•”Sup sharkboy”

•”I guess you’re lavagirl then”

•Hyping him up when he dances at parties

•”YESS NICK, HIT THEM WITH THAT SHIT”

•Acting like a complete crackheads in the store

•”Nicholas, now why WOULD YOU RUN INTO MY FUCKING ANKLE WITH THE CART”

•”Babe stop putting this in the cart”

•”But I want it”

•Dates on top of dates with this man

•”Damn ma, kinda want you for dessert”

|Zion|

•You love pushing his buttons

•”Stop being a brat”

•Hugging his leg when he has to leave for tour

•”Baby don’t goooo”

•”I’m literally gonna fly you out during the tour but I have to leave babygirl”

•Him teaching you how to play Fortnite

•”I have come to the conclusion, THIS SHIT IS TRASH”

•”Aye take that back”

•Vibing to music on Instagram live? YES

•Him helping you manage your curly hair

•”Mamas let me finish you up. Your arms are probably tired”

•Literally you’re the only person to make him actually feel comfortable in his skin and the same for you

•HUGS LIKE LOTS OF THEM

Cnco

|Richard|

•Days with Aaliyah and Rich

•”I love having my two favorite girls together”

•Watching him dance on stage and him looking your way when he grinds

•”I seen your face during the performance baby. Don’t worry, I’ll do it at home later”

•Forehead kisses for daysss

•FaceTiming him with Aaliyah while they’re away

•”We miss you!!”

•Him just holding you in your time of need

•Pictures.... and more pictures

•Posting you on his Instagram story because he wants to “show the world his girl”

•Slapping your ass in public

•”Richard!! Stop”

•”Sorry but them jeans look mighty good”

|Christopher|

•Laughter.... just LOTS of it

•”Chris it’s not funny”

•”Lo siento amor” giggles some more

•Commenting on each other’s insta pictures

•”Mm daddy looks like a snack today👀”

•”Mi amor, ay 😍”

•Loves taking breaks from the phone and just talking

•Late night phone callsss

•Falling asleep on the couch of the dressing room

•”Buenos días sleeping beauty”

•”She’s my wife pero we’re not married yet”

|Erick|

•Being the youngest of the group together

•Hand holding at it’s finest

•”Oo guys they’re holding hands!!!”

•Him resting his head on your shoulder

•Running your fingers through his hair

•Him calling you beautiful 24/7

•”Look like beautiful mi amor”

•”Gracias bebé”

•Kisses are weird at first being that you guys were getting used to being in a relationship but it’ll come together later on

•Pulls you onto his lap because he wants to be close to you

|Joel|

•Has a lowkey relationship because he wants you to himself for a while

•Takes pictures of you because he simply wanted to

•Going to the gym together

•”On second thought, I’m tapping out”

•”Come onnn, you promised”

•Using puppy dog eyes and it works

•”You’re so lucky you look so damn cute princess”

•Loves tugging on his curls

•”Aye babe, stop pulling so hard”

•Such a shy and reserved couple

•”Don’t shave the beard!! That shit is sexy”

•Running your fingers on his abs and v-line

|Zabdiel|

•He picks you up from behind just because

•”Zabdi put me down” laughs in the process

•Pillow fights in hotels

•Him winking at you a lot

•Makes comments as if you guys aren’t already dating

•”¿Tienes novio?”

•”Sí pero he’s being a dummy”

•Play fighting to the max

•”No fair, you get an advantage because of your height”

•”Maybe you should grow”

•Him singing to you when you’re crying

[blessthejets]

1. Put your music player on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

1. One more light - Linkin Park

2. Love story - Taylor Swift

3. Thunder - Imagine Dragons

4. New man - Ed Sheeran

5. A thousand miles - Vanessa Carlton

6. Treat you better - Shawn Mendes

2. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Rick Rypien, that’s for sure. If he was still on this earth, though...

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17:

“fuckin god, wis aboot aw ah could pick ootay the horrible sound. She collapses oantae the threadbare couch.“ - Trainspotting. In English. I mean, “English”. haha

4. What do you think about most?

Overthinking things I can’t really do anything about.

5. What does your latest text message from someone else say?

My ex boyfriend from the USA: “nope not at all”

6. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With my clothes. It’s so COLD!

7. What’s your strangest talent?

I think my facial expressions. People say they like it haha.

8. Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls are equal to boys. Boys are equal to girls.

9. Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Nah. I don’t think. I mean I can relate to a LOT of songs or poems, mostly about brokenhearted girls or depression, but that’s not directly about me.

10. When is the last time you played the air guitar?

When I got the guitar at the age of eight? I think? So it would beeee... about thirteen years ago now.

11. Do you have any strange phobias?

Spiders. Clowns. Heights. Tiny holes. Balloons. Slugs. Insect. Yes, nothing strange.

12. Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

WTF lol

13. What’s your religion?

SCIENCE.

14. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking my dog ♥

15. Do you perfer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Imagine Dragons, hands down.

17. What was the last lie you told?

“Sorry I didn’t reply, I fell asleep.” hahah

18. Do you believe in karma?

Of course!

19. What does your screen name mean?

blessthejets? It’s just my blog dedicated to the Winnipeg Jets. And it rhymes which I like hehe

20. What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness - dogs. Any kinds of dogs. Strenght? Courage, I guess.

21. Who is your celebrity crush?

There’s million of them. But my favorite of all of them will always be Mr. Kurt Cobain.

22. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Naaa. I’d love to though.

23. How do you vent your anger?

I don’t really get angry very often. When I do, I try avoid people because I don’t want to hurt them by saying something inappropriate.

24. Do you have a collection of anything?

Yup. Ice hockey stuff. Cards, scarves, jerseys etc.

Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

mhmm.. probably talking face to face. 

26. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I’m suffering with serious mental health issues. So I’m trying to be a better person every day. So far so good.

27. What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate - morning alarm haha. Love - my dog barking out of excitement when I get home.

28. What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I realize I didn’t live my life as I wanted? And now it’s too soon to do that?...

29. Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES. YES. 

30. Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right - Coca cola zero. Left - nothing.

31. Smell the air. What do you smell?

Um. Air

32. What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Psychiatrics at Prague, Bohnice.

33. Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

Of where?

34. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

KURT COBAIN! 

35. To you, what is the meaning of life?

FOR ME - it’s definitely dogs. Shelter dogs. Helping shelter dogs, teaching people to adopt and not to support backyard breeders.

36. Define: Art.

Everything. 

37. Do you believe in luck?

Yes.

38. What’s the weather like right now?

End of the February. Sunny but god damn COLD.

39. What time is it?

12:33 pm

40. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No I don’t drive. Because I don’t want to get in a car crash :P

41. What was the last book you read?

Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.

42. Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yash!

43. Do you have any nicknames?

Yeah. My name is Adéla. I get called Dee, Dede, Adel, Ady, Addie. Also a giraffe. haha

44. What was the last movie you saw?

The Gift. It was well wrapped..

 45. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I don’t know if it’s considered as an injury. But probably when I overdosed with pills on purpose. Spent 13 hours in a coma, woke up in hospital, was transferred to psychiatrics. 

46. Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yes, when I was a little. Now they kind of scare me.

47. Do you have any obsessions right now?

Ice hockey, dogs, travelling, dogs, ice hockey, Swedes, blondes, dogs.

48. What’s your ?

What’s my what?

49. Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Yes. But no fucks were given during any of those times.

50. Do you believe in magic?

Yes. Harry Potter for the win.

51. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Just for a while. I always try to give a second chance. And the third. And fourth. Until I’m fucked up again.

52. What is your astrological sign?

Gemini.

53. Do you save money or spend it?

Trying to save. But usually just spend. :D

54. What’s the last thing you purchased?

A lunch at my lunch break at work.

55. Love or lust?

Both.

56. In a relationship?

No. Who would be with a psycho like me?

57. Are you a virgin?

No.

58. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can.

59. Where were you yesterday?

At work and outside with my dog. Also at home.

60. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yeah. My hand cream on my desk.

61. Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes. I’m AT WORK!

62. What’s your favorite animal?

Fox, dog.

63. What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Hahaha haahha if I knew I would actually had a boyfriend by now.

64. Where is your best friend?

She moved from our street just a little bit away. She’s with her newborn babygirl and her husband so she does not really have much free time.

66. What is your heritage?

Czech and Bulgarian. But I prefer saying just Czech because my parents got divorced when I was three. I have never even been to Bulgary. I don’t really want to, anyway.

67. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Doing a birthday card for my coworker who has her birthday tomorrow.

68. What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I don’t know what’s his last name but I know his kid. It’s my dog.

70. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Sometimes yes. I laugh a lot and I have a great sense of humor I think. I love to laugh. But on the other hand I suffer from depression. I’d probably want to help myself and get caught into this infinite circle.

71. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I help the dog and call my boss. If they tell me that I’m being fired anyway, I don’t care. I wouldn’t want to work for someone who doesn’t care about a dog’s life.

72. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live.

Well... I’d say thanks? Or what am I supposed to do? I tried to kill myself three months ago so I don’t really know what’s going on with my life right about now.

a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?

No. 

b) What do you do with your remaining days?

I would try to find a new lovely home for my dog. Make sure he’s okay. I would probably just won’t talk to any of my friends. I wouldn’t want to talk to my family either. I would just be stuck inside my brain, my mind. Thinking about what it’s gonna be.

c) Would you be afraid?

No. Not at all.

73. You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

Trust. I have trust issues so... that would help me mentally a lot.

74. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

All Star by Smash Mouth (;

75. What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

4373 (:

76. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust. Communication. Tolerance. Laughter. Dreams about future spent together.

77. How can I win your heart?

Make me laugh. And understand please that I have some issues I need to deal with. You don’t have to, but once you win my heart and we are dating, you would have to deal with it whether you want it or not. It’s not my fault. Please understand it.

78. Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes. And depression brings the most beautiful thoughts - ironically.

79. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Adopting my dog. We rescued each other.

80. What size shoes do you where?

39 in Europe, 6 in UK, 8 in US.

81. What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

"Offline” lol haha. No. Probably something like “I told you I was sick.”

82. What is your favorite word?

Probably “cencúl”. It means icicle in Slovakian.

83. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

Broken.

84. What is a saying you say a lot?

Everything happens for a reason.

85. What’s the last song you listened to?

A world alone by Lorde from Pure Heroine.

86. Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors?

Blueee

87. What is your current desktop picture?

WINNIPEG JETS. Both on my PC at work and my laptop at home.

88. If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I wouldn’t. 

89. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I’m pretty open. I would answer anything. Truly.

90. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Mummies don’t scare me. I would just ask them what to do to become like them.

91. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Telekinesis. That way, shit will still get done when I’m having a lazy day. 

92. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

When I saw my dog for the first time. When we met. When we went for our first walk outside the shelter.

93. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

My very first relationship.

94. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Well, since Kurt Cobain is not here anymore, I would choose... Lorde. Or Avriel Kaplan. Or Daniel Platzman.

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Gothenburg, Sweden.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not relatives. Just my very best friend. 

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Yes. But it wasn’t caused by the ride. It was caused by alcohol. And it wasn’t really in a car, I told the driver to stop, then I opened the door and threw up there. Hahahahah

98) Ever been on a plane?

Not yet.

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Step 1 - Breathe in

Step 2 - Breathe out

Step 3 - STOP! HAMMERTIME!

100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.

Nah I don’t have any.

[cherriebomb]

✩ for krava

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

definitely ava. kris never raises her voice       ————      that was a huge thing instilled in her by her mom. 

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? 

ava.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? 

kris. girl can only take so much of ava’s shit. < 3

Who trashes the house?

ava oh my god. kris would’ve had her ass whooped for throwing a fit as a kid, and so she’d definitely not do that as an adult. maybe if it’s like, the worst day of her life, but not likely.

Do either of them get physical?

????

How often do they argue/disagree? 

i don’t think that often. kris hates upsetting ava, and she’s usually flexible enough to go with whatever ava wants in order to placate her. the being in love with her thing will def be a fight though ...

Who is the first to apologise?

kris. almost always.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

kris would definitely want kids, but i don’t actually think i know ava’s stance on kids.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

kris would want two, because she wouldn’t want anyone to develop middle child syndrome.

Who is the favorite parent? Who is the authoritative parent?

ava’s the favorite, kris is the authoritative one.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? 

ava for sure.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? 

ava.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? 

kris would be at every one, but i think ava would also try to be there as often as she could? i don’t really see her being the fuck yo shit type of parent.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews? 

kris goes and drags ava with her. teachers always tell kris that they really “see where the spirit comes from.”

Who changes the diapers? 

kris.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? 

kris but she’d make ava do it every once in a while, usually when kris was actually able to sleep.

Who spends the most time with the children? 

they both would definitely try to spend an equal amount of time with the kid(s).

Who packs their lunch boxes?

kris. ava always gives them five dollars and tells them “go nuts!”

Who gives their children ‘the talk’? 

THEY BOTH DO kris would absolutely not let ava get out of that.

Who cleans up after the kids? 

kris cleans up after the kids and ava.

Who worries the most? 

kris. ava worries about which kid will be the star wars fan.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

ava. kris gets mad every time she swears around the kids.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Who is the little spoon?

 they both like to cuddle! though kris will definitely have times where she needs space and doesn’t want to be touched. and they probably take turns because that’s kinda soft.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? 

ava because she’s a brat.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?   

they both do. they were already touchy before and having that person as free territory? i have zero faith in them.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? 

kris can handle physical affection in waves, and while it’s easier with ava it’s still only about twenty to thirty minutes, at most. sleeping at night is different, because she’s not as aware of it.

Who gives the most kisses? 

i think they probably like. douse one another in kisses, but kris would probably look for any reason to kiss ava so i’d say her.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? 

holding hands. for sure.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? 

the bed, i think? i feel like that’s the most common cuddle location and also the most accessible for them for as long as they’ve been friends. probably couches but since they’re now in college ... 

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? 

ava because she’s a brat.

 How often do they get time to themselves?

often, at least when they’re living together.

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest?

i bet ava snores. kris does not, though.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

i think that once they’re together, they share the bed a LOT. and when they aren’t, i think they share the bed when one of them has a nightmare.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? 

they cuddle, regardless of if they’re dating or not.

Who talks in their sleep? 

ava.

What do they wear to bed? 

clothes, bitch. but nah, i bet ava wears a big t - shirt and boxers, and kris wears those cute little pj sets they sell at like, pink or aerie.

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

kris is, actually.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

yep!

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

oh, they’re 100% tangled up in one another once they’re together, as long as kris is comfortable. before they’re together, though, it’s probably side by side, holding hands, and then they wake up cuddling.

Who wakes up with bed hair? 

ava. kris wakes up looking like a model, of course.

Who wakes up first? 

kris. she wakes up at 8:30 every day.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

so, i think they both would, because ava’s soft and gay even if she doesn’t KNOW it, and kris would just like spoiling ava.

What is their favourite sleeping position?

kris likes it when her head is on ava’s chest, or when ava’s arms are around her, because it feels like home.

Who hogs the sheets?

ava, because she’s a brat.

Do they set an alarm each night? 

kris does, and she reminds ava to set one too.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

probably, but kris never lets ava use it if kris is in bed.

Who has nightmares?

kris. i’m not sure with ava, tbh.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

ava, probably. kris’ are usually just kinda gay.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

ava, because she’s a BRAT.

Who makes the bed?

kris, because she’s the mom - friend.

What time is bed time?

kris goes to bed at 12:30 at the latest every night. ava probably stays up until 3 playing video games or something.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

kris will wash her face, brush her teeth, make her lunch for work and prep coffee, then give ava a kiss and go to bed. she did the same thing before they got together, too, but instead of kissing her she booped her nose.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

ava.

Work:

Who is the busiest?

kris, for sure. she’s constantly doing things because babygirl can’t keep still.

Who rakes in the highest income? 

kris because she actually KNOWS what she wants to do. <3

Are any of your muses unemployed? 

both.

Who takes the most sick days?

ava.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

ava.

Who sucks up to their boss?

kris.

What are their jobs?

they’re both unemployed. losersssss.

Who stresses the most? 

probably kris because she’s kind of high - strung.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

bro.

Are your muses financially stable?

kris is rich and if kai and odette are paying for ava to go to college i think she’s gucci.

Home:

Who does the washing? 

kris.

Who takes out the trash?

kris makes ava do it because it makes her gag.

Who does the ironing?

kris. does ava even know how to use one?

Who does the cooking?

kris.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

ava. kris tried to teach her to cook once and they ended up getting takeout.

Who is messier? 

ava.

 Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

ava. she probably pulls it out and then just forgets.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

ava.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

ava, but only when she’s drunk.

Who is the prankster around the house?

ava.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

ava. kris probably found them and hides them from ava to see how long she can keep pretending she knows where they are.

Who mows the lawn?

neither of them. since they are in COLLEGE. but if they weren’t kris would just hire someone.

Who answers the telephone?

kris, even though she hates it.

Who does the vacuuming?

kris.

Who does the groceries?

probably kris.

Who takes the longest to shower?

kris takes an hour at least, and i bet ava tries to take just as long out of pure competition.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

kris.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

not for kris, and she wouldn’t let it be an issue for ava if she could help it. 

How many cars do they own?

kris has one.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

right now they’re in college, but in the future they’d own it.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

if i remember correctly, sheffield isn’t near the coast, so countryside?

Do they live in the city or in the country?

again, i’m guessing country?

 Do they enjoy their surroundings?

kris likes them, but i actually don’t know if ava likes or hates where they live.

What’s their song?

midnight love by girl in red or wish you were sober by conan gray. but kris would make ava a playlist and the first song on the playlist would be lucky by chelsea cutler.

What do they do when they’re away from each other

kris is pouty and sends ava about a million texts, at least once they’re together. before that, though, she’s just pouty and maybe a tiny bit bitchy.

Where did they first meet?

on the playground, a few days after ava moved to sheffield.

How did they first meet?

kris fell off the monkey bars and landed on ava. oops.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

kris.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

unfortunately, probably kris.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

ava, for sure.

Any mental issues?

i don’t remember what’s been said for ava, but kris has anxiety, adhd, ocd, and an undiagnosed ed with some control issues.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

kris.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

kris makes ava do it, even if ava doesn’t want to.

Their favourite place?

in high school, it was the playground and 7/11. in college it’s probably their room, or the roof of their building, because i bet ava would find a way to get up there after kris said she missed stargazing.

Who pays the bills?

they don’t pay bills they’re children. but it’d probably be kris.

Do they have any fears for their future?

oh, for sure. kris is scared of the future, a little bit.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

probably, after kris off - handedly mentions it.

Who uses up all of the hot water?

kris. definitely kris.

 Who’s the tallest?

kris, and she likes heeled shoes so she’s even taller.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

ava, i bet.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

kris because she’s a little bit of a tease.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

kris, and thank god she can carry a tune because she’s obnoxious about it.

What do they tease each other about?

ava teases kris about being perfect, and kris pretends to forget the difference between star wars and star trek and other nerd shit.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? 

kris, because she actually has a sense of style. <3

Do they have mutual friends?

yes his name is casper and he’s a dummy.

Who crushed first?

kris baby! she’s not a simp though don’t even think about it.

 Any alcohol or substance related problems?

kris probably drinks a little too much sometimes, and she has a very minor addiction to adderall, but i don’t think ava would have any?

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

my guess is ava? kris would usually just get drunk at home, and she’d definitely be home before 3am.

Who swears the most?

ava, definitely.