#edit: anyway I promise we're done being insane bc we're going to bed now so !!
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(hums loudly) much to think abt
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#current thought spiral we keep repeating…..#the feeling of all three beckers getting hb’d at the same time and how I think that should have caused some weird feedback loop#where at the moment they were all totally in sync (at least until the ortegas wrestled the guns away) and how that extends to the nightmare#bc when you’re back in that room. if you’re all in sync. aren’t you responsible for the death of your siblings?#in the moment you can’t tell where u end and they begin and which hand is yours and which trigger you’re pulling#only once again regaining full awareness of Yourself as more than just a concept after you’ve hit the ground#and by then you’re so injured that you can’t move and you can’t reach your brothers you can’t even see them you don’t know if they’re dead#and if they are is it your fault? and if it is how can you live with the guilt? why do you get to live at all?#keeping up with the beckers#edit: anyway I promise we're done being insane bc we're going to bed now so !!
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