#bc when you’re back in that room. if you’re all in sync. aren’t you responsible for the death of your siblings?

[villainsidestep]

(hums loudly) much to think abt

[tirednotflirting]

when you're next to me and the music's loud

i joined the crew of people who wrote like, love letter fics to their city (though i will be back to do it again bc i’m a romantic about this place lol). so here is jalex in austin !

title and inspo from the ungodly number of times i listened to don’t come down by the maine. thank you to literally rian dawson on a podcast for getting me to sit down and finally listen to all of lovely little lonely lol

i don’t mention the name of specific places for the sake of allowing you to kinda picture whatever you want while reading this thing but if you’re curious, the boys are seeing a show at this restaurant/venue called stubb’s (the indoor part of the venue which i’m not sure if they ever actually played but they DID play the outdoor bit in like 2011 or something).

feel free to come chat w me about austin or the couple of other places i halfway mention if you wanna. i love my city w my whole little heart and miss dancing and singing at shows 

here it is on ao3

Watching Alex watch a show is probably Jack’s favorite view in the world.

He’s traveled around the world more times than he can keep track of at this point. Watched the sunrise over a few different oceans and sunsets over crowds of thousands singing along to words Alex scratched out into journals over a decade earlier. He’s watched meteor showers and solar eclipses and yet none of them hold a candle to the smile he can see on Alex’s face as he looks back at him from the crowd in this tiny, packed room.

He just barely catches the wink Alex throws in his direction before the bartender is tapping his shoulder to hand him his card back. Jack thanks her and weaves his way back through the crowd to Alex’s side. A lemon-vodka-flavored kiss is placed against the corner of his lips in thanks as Alex starts singing along to the song he’s somehow already learned the words to despite having never heard of this band before they started playing an hour earlier.

Jack knows he should be watching the band up on stage thirty or so feet in front of him but his attention just keeps getting pulled back to the boy next to him. To the way the blue and pink lights shine against Alex and paint his hair a bright purple (he makes the mental note to mention to him later that he should consider it next time he decides to dye his hair). To the way Alex bounces on his toes in the same way he does when up on stage himself. It’s always been one of Jack’s favorite parts about going to shows with Alex, the fact that he watches shows in the same way he performs one. It’s further evidence of how in sync he always is with the people who come to see them play.

It had been Alex’s idea to find a show to go to on their off night in the city. The venue’s website had no notice that tonight’s show was sold out so after dinner they wandered down the street and bought tickets at the door. Jack bought the tickets and Alex bought their first round (This is like a rock and roll version of dinner and movie, right?). 

He closes his eyes for a moment then and takes a breath before bringing his drink to his lips again. Jack has always loved coming to Austin. He’s spent his entire life in love with live music. He loves the volume that leaves his ears ringing and bright lights and screaming along with singers from crowds. It’s always been his favorite part of being in a band, that he gets to help create those moments. Sometimes he forgets what it’s like from this end though. And this city always feels like the best place to come to for a reminder. The city always feels like it’s singing, like there’s music coming from every corner. It’s a different feeling from LA or Nashville or any other big, bright city. It feels more pure and alive but in an unpolished kind of way. Austin is what live music is meant to feel like.

“What’s going on up there?” Jack hears as Alex’s lips brush against his ear while tapping a finger against his forehead. He opens his eyes to the bright lights and blinks a few times so he can focus on the room before turning to let his eyes lock with Alex’s. Jack watches the stage lights flash in the dark brown of his irises, another view he should be so familiar with by now but still knocks him out every time. His free hand drops to wrap around Alex’s waist to pull him into his side and his cheeks warm at the laugh he receives in response though the music is loud enough he can’t hear it.

“Just happy. To be here, to be with you,” Jack leans in to say so he can be heard above the music. He watches Alex close his eyes and smile in the flashes of colored light coming from the stage and Jack returns the grin when he feels Alex lean more into his side and drop his head against Jack’s shoulder. He reaches for Jack’s free hand with his own and presses his lips against the back of it and Jack figures it says more than what he would likely be able to hear over the crowd and the music.

Jack knows it’s a ridiculously cheesy thought but there really is something so intimate about standing in the middle of a crowd with the person you love. He can hear the music, see the lights and the colorful crowd around them, taste the tequila on his tongue but his head is full of nothing but a static of Alex Alex Alex. As he’s gotten older, Jack found he was proud of himself for his ability to be more present as he moved about life and the world around him. But every once in a while his heart clouds up what’s in front of his eyes and the weight of his smiling, singing boy against his chest is the only thing in the world. It’s a peaceful feeling. For as long as he can remember, even when they were rowdy, screaming kids, Jack’s brain has always automatically associated Alex with peace. It’s something he’s been thankful for, to grow up in this wild world they created for themselves while holding the eye of the hurricane against his chest.

Alex lifts his head from Jack’s shoulder then and returns to shouting and jumping along with the crowd. The song comes to a close soon after and Jack wraps an arm around Alex’s middle to sway them back and forth as they listen to the singer introduce what is to be the final song of the night. He thanks the crowd and tells them to come out back to say hello after they pack up. Jack smiles fondly as he remembers hearing similar words from another lead singer in the same room nearly a decade earlier. He hopes the boy standing at stage right all those years ago would be proud of where he’s at now, playing to bigger rooms further downtown and holding the boy he loves against his chest. (A younger Jack would probably be most surprised that he’s drinking tequila though, if he’s being honest.)

“Where are we headed after this? Zack and Rian are asking if they can join,” Alex says into Jack’s ear to bring him back out of his nostalgia.

Jack drops his head to rest on Alex’s shoulder, his arms wrapping further around his middle. “Girl at the bar was recommending this other bar basically across the street. Said they have a food truck too if the boys are wanting food. I’ll drop the location for it when we’re heading out.” “Always one step ahead, aren’t you?”

“Only when playing tourist,” Jack laughs before turning to press his lips to Alex’s hair. He stands up straight then as the song starts and this time he instinctively starts jumping with the rest of the crowd as he recognizes the tune coming from the stage. Alex joins him and then they’re both bouncing and dancing around in the middle of the packed room, loudly singing to a chorus they both only barely know. 

Soon enough, their eyes are sparkling as they laugh and try to catch their breath, the room already clearing out as the crowd heads for the merch booth and the bathrooms. Jack shoots the name of the bar to the group message while Alex spins around in circles while tying his flannel around his waist, bopping his head along and singing to a song that’s no longer playing. “Come on,” Jack says while pocketing his phone and reaching for Alex’s hand. “The food truck has chili fries.”

“God, I love you,” Alex says dazedly as they reach the stairs to take them back to the street level. 

Jack laughs. “Because I know where to get chili fries at nearly midnight in downtown Austin?”

“For so many reasons, my love, but at this moment, yes. Because of the chili fries.”

“Alright, silly boy. Love you, too.” 

And then they’re back outside and somehow the magic of the crowd and the band and the lights hasn’t faded as they head for the crosswalk. Jack is used to leaving a show and stepping back into a reality that just doesn’t feel as special as the energy of a show. Maybe that’s the most special part about Austin, that the entire city carries that magic in the gentle breeze blowing under the hem of his t-shirt. He’s turning to Alex as they cross the street to describe the feeling to him and see if he even understands what he means, when the grip Alex has on Jack’s hand tightens momentarily. 

“I can feel it, too.”

Jack can only laugh in response, because of course Alex gets it. He always gets it. Later when they’re dancing around their hotel room, Alex will compare the feeling to something having to do with the formation of galaxies and exploding supernovas. Jack will smile and agree with every comparison Alex makes but when asked for his own, Jack will remember the weight against his chest during the show and the reflection of the city in dark brown eyes and give an answer with a more simple, four letter name. 

*

[the-community-mascara]

Shit Theatre Kids Say!

Hello, here are some of the random shit I've seen/heard/said/done at rehearsal or backstage during shows. This is by no means all of them. Just some of them, about my first year of doing theatre's worth, which was two years ago.

~"You are predictably dickish"

~"Wait I thought sausage was from cows!!"

~"Singing? In a MUSICAL? Never"

~"Just for your information I have a very small penis"

~ A girl to our choreographer-"Where is your black shirt, sister?"

Our male and very gay choreographer-"Laying on my bed right next to your boyfriend"

~"Ow I just hit myself in the head with a noose!"

~"Gets on stage face totally brown but body looking whiter than Uncle Sam on a cracker"

"What?" *hysterical laughter*

"That's my thing now, like I am whiter than Uncle Sam on a cracker"

~(To the tune of What I've been looking for from high school musical) "This feeling's like no other. I really want sleep! I've never had somewhere I really want to be, LIKE MY BED!"

~"Who's Betsy Ross's husband?"

"Jesus"

~"if you're fat, what am i? A beluga whale?"

~"I can't even! I can only odd!"

"What the fuck"

~"It's a beautiful day you guys!"

"It's a beautiful day for a murder"

"True"

~"You're a chill dick?"

~"My favorite human is probably Mickey Mouse"

~"...Beating her husband?!"

"I thought she was a lesbian!"

~"I need some MILK"

~"You have all that business to mind and you're still in mine?!"

~ *at Larosa's for a cast party* *one guy puts a very tiny dinosaur in the parmesan cheese shaker*

~ "wow you guys its brighter than all of our futures in here!" (We had just gotten into school on a Saturday and every light was off)

~"Unlock the door before I use my epic Vagina muscles" (We were locked out of the dressing rooms on a Saturday show)

~ "I'm so hungry can (our director) get here soon?! It's half an hour past when we were supposed to be here! I'm so hungry - you know what, fuck it. I'm eating this dandelion." *she then eats the dandelion and not five minutes later our director pulls up* "THERE IS A GOD"

~ "I wanna fuck the moon"

~ "Keegan you are literally an abortion fail. Shut the fuck up."

~"Almost all the guys here are adorable, but like, no hetero"

~"Why did you get me started on babies? I fucking hate babies"

~"That curtain just wiped me clean bro! It went straight up my backside!"

~"Old people blood is different it's dusty"

~"That's not blood! It's a thong!"

~"Eggrolls"

~ one of our warmups is that one episode of Spongebob (First you do this... Spin around... STOP!) and the first show our senior who leads us in starts it and another senior just "I FUCKING HATE SPONGEBOB"

"GET OUT LYDIA NO ONE LOVES YOU" was everyone's response.

~ our cast is going through warmups and our last one is putting our hands in "what team? Wildcats!" And well this happened

"WHAT TEAM???"

"WILDCA-"

"guys the audience can hear you!!!"

*very hushed voices* "what team?"

"wildcats!"

~(one of the dresses in the dressing rooms looks like it belongs in the 17/1800's probs cuz it does but one girl put it one bc she didn't have one) *spins around* "Betsy Ross who?"

~ I had to get chased through multiple scenes and everytime I got off stage, heart racing, I'd lean over to the nearest person and whisper- "I do more running on this stage than I ever do in gym class"

~ one time when I was running off stage I ran straight into this one kid who was technically in eighth grade but still part of our cast bc we needed guys.

~ the guy who chased me always fucked around with different runs

~ "my blood is basically Wendy's"

~ between shows on Saturday me and a few friends went to Wendy's... Then a few more people showed up... Then it was an impromptu cast party. No one said a name for our orders so the lady just put "Drama"

~ literally everybody but our Larkin running lines for her songs. And Larkin wanted to murder them all.

~ "I'm sorry you guys, but the air con broke in the backstage hallway and the auditorium. So we have box fans. If you guys wanna risk it, go get the haunted fan from the band room."

~ while at Wendy's the ice machine started randomly pouring ice and we all just looked at each other. "Sorry guys, the ghost followed us." Was uttered to the workers

~ "literally the only reason I'm still alive is because I really wanna do a show about lesbians in the 1930's but I cant do it next year if I'm dead."

~ "what's up there anyway?" (Asked about the loft where students are forbidden to go)

"Oh that's the suicide ladder."

"Why??"

"Our director fell off of it a few years back and nearly died. We aren't allowed up there."

~ "I hate to say it you guys but we have to use the pillows from the sex couch"

"why do you guys call it the sex couch?"

"Long story short, it glows under a blacklight and that means either blood or semen and let's face it, this is high school."

- before everyone needs to start getting ready we have a lip sync battle through the sound system.

~ "you guys I just realized that our A.P. Gov. Final and Opening night are the same day. I'm gonna die."

~ "CAN I KEEP THE GOBLET OF FAILURE?!" (In reference to a goblet our lead threw on opening night that then shattered)

"If you want to"

~ the entire cast had to fall down during one of the dances at the end. This lead to many "paint me like one of your French girls" Scenes. So many, that the line got banned.

~ an in depth conversation during intermission about three porn videos one of the leads has seen. 1) instead of moaning normal things, the girl moans "oh my goodness" Super fast, he didn't finish it he was laughing so hard. 2) it's in an art studio, and the guy is tickling the girl with a paint brush, then shoves it in - not her vagina, but her urethra. He didn't finish that one. 3) the guy spit, directly into the girls asshole. He finished that one.

We were laughing so hard, that we nearly missed it when the overture started.

~ "it is so hot my sweat is sweating"

~ "are you dab fanning me?"

~ "WHO MOVED MY SHARP THINGY?"

~ "get me my letter!"

~ "bro"

~ *everyone mouthing the lines the people on stage are saying*

~ *over exaggerated lip syncing to songs happening in front of a curtain as we all wait behind the curtain*

~ "where is the person helping me strip him?"

~ "Kroger is just nicer people's Walmart"

~ *everyone getting ready and quoting vines*

~ "free sh- fre sha va cado"

"What?"

~ "who's stepping on my shoes?! Who- oh it's me."

~ "I have to get home! I have a wife and kids!"

"You're 12"

"SIMS"

~ *the boys dressing room prank calls random restaurants*

~ *I have my legs up while I'm sitting on the dressing room table* *my friend slaps my bare leg* "that's a nice slab of meat ma'am"

~ " Can someone explain why it's called Buffalo Wild Wings if Buffalo don't have wings?"

"It's Buffalo sauce on chicken wings, Cayenne."

"Oh!"

~ "OOH draw me as a furry!" (Said by a twelve year old)

~ "Maddi... Draw me a chicken!"

~ (there is a stool in the girls dressing room that is so falling apart the seat is all duct tape and it comes off, it looks horrid.) "Hey guys look! It's the butt stool"

~ "hey gals the fun has arrived!"

(Everyone at the same time): "the fun has been here"/"Where is she?"

~ "someone just dropped their foot! I mean their shoe!"

~ "you only have 3/4 leg to shave and 1 and 1/4 leg to not shave"

Feel free to add on with the weirdest shit you guys have heard theatre kids say!

[silverlightqueen]

final part - love of my life 

(can be read as a standalone fic)

daisies

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a/n: and daisies is finished🎉 (I might do an epilogue part but idk) I had to post this today bc it’s my baby’s birthday tomorrow🥳 I am honestly so proud of daisies, like it’s literally my baby🥺 but I really hope you guys have enjoyed this amazing journey (bc I really have), thank you all for your support and I love y’all so much💕 and now, it’s time for y/n’s happy ending...

warnings: smut (nothing too hardcore but still), tooth-rottingly sweet fluff, Jimin being a romantic and cute ass mf, y/n finally getting her happy ending (I shed a few tears ngl)

silverlightqueen masterlist

taglist💕: @khaoticamour @rjsmochii @minniestudies @oodlespadoodle @shay-the-turtle @yasbts705 @goldenchemistry @arvbellas @anothershorthuman @golden-pixie-dust-200 @onlinewhale @maknaeroni @sweetchocolategoblin @conslack @missbowkimjinju @pocketfullofsuga @booklover240 @dimple-jungkook @squishyshit @sakurauchiha2018 @keylowmonie @untainted-memories @babybluebisexual @dearbangtan07 @joyful-jimin @glossdust @mayumioutloud @needyvmin @the-real96 @brinnalaine @lovebuginlove @smolchild95 @miraisnotavailable @eilowyneleyne @kiddrauhlfeels @silverlightprincess

‘Mrs Park!’ I hear Jimin call from the door of our room, and I smile to myself. ‘I’m in the bathroom!’ I call back, and mere seconds later, I watch in the mirror as he pops his head around the corner, huge smile across his face. 

He looks so breathtakingly handsome today, dirty blond hair swept back all princelike, his eyes sparkling, plump lips stretched into a wide smile, skin smooth and glowy (and his suit has done absolute wonders for his beautiful body).

‘Hey, Mr Park,’ I say with a grin, and he steps in, leaving the door open only slightly. The playlist Jimin made for me last night plays in the bedroom, full of love songs, including the ones we wrote for each other.  ‘Hey, wife,’ he says and I laugh as he puts his arms around me from behind, looking at me in the mirror.

‘I can’t believe we’re married,’ he whispers, and I smile. ‘It sounds weird, right? Like, what? I’m married? To Park Jimin?’ I say, and he chuckles, turning me around in his arms. ‘More like I’m married to you. We all know who really runs this relationship,’ he jokes, and I laugh. ‘Did you enjoy our big day?’ he asks, and I nod, looking up at him.

It was amazing. We had all our close friends and family there and everyone was just so happy. The day went without a single hitch, even with my ten trillion outfit changes, and I enjoyed it so much that my face hurts from smiling.

It was also nice seeing everyone else so loved up; Lisa and JK, and Chae and Tae mainly. Jen and Joon, and Jisoo and Jin haven’t made it official yet, but that’s okay. It’s not like there’s any rush. Sana and her family were there, and we had her daughters, Mina and y/n, as our flower girls.

All of Bighit’s managers were there too, and it was nice to see them all relaxed for once instead of running around and telling us what to do. We non-stop danced all night, people gradually leaving from 10pm onwards, until it was just us lot and we decided to call it a night at 1am.

‘It was beautiful, Chim, just perfect. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. What about you?’ I ask, and he grins. ‘If you’re happy, I’m happy,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Cheesy, much?’ I ask, and he laughs. ‘I’m married now, which means I gotta start with the cheesiness, and the dad jokes,’ he says, and my eyes widen.

‘What? I’m not even pregnant yet!’ I exclaim, and he laughs, before smirking. ‘Wanna change that?’ he says, and I laugh as he begins pulling the pins out of my hair. ‘Don’t tell me you’re being serious,’ I say as my hair falls around my shoulders, and he shrugs. ‘Maybe. I don’t know. Obviously, I don’t want you to rush into anything you don’t feel like you’re ready for, but if you told me tomorrow that you were pregnant, I’d be over the moon,’ he says, and my mouth drops open.

‘Wait, really?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I’m definitely ready to have kids. But it’s your decision, daisy. I don’t wanna rush you,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘No, you’re not, don’t worry about that. I just… I don’t know. I guess… I guess I’ve been ready for a while. I just didn’t think you were,’ I say, and he gasps.

‘Wow, thanks. Am I that immature?’ he jokes, and I laugh. ‘Not like that. As in… you’re still a young man. I thought, you know, that you’d still want to live your life. I didn’t think you wanted to start a family just yet,’ I say to him, and he shakes his head.

‘y/n, listen. I can still live my life with a kid. It’s not like we’ll just become recluses. Our kid will only make our lives better, not worse. And I know that with our… careers, it’ll be hard to juggle a kid and work, but I also know that we can do it. I understand that a child is a big responsibility, but we’d be fantastic parents. I mean, look how we were with Mina. And we’ve got ten others who will be desperate to look after our kid too,’ he says.

‘Not that I’d let some of them,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Don’t say some of them when you just mean Jen and Kook,’ he says, and I burst out laughing. ‘But seriously, y/n. I’m ready for kids whenever you want them. I know we can do this, daisy. We can do anything together,’ he says, and I feel a little ball of excitement start to grow in my chest.

‘Are we really about to do this?’ I ask, smiling widely. ‘What? Have sex without a condom?’ he says, and I groan, resting my chest on his head. ‘Chim,’ I whine, and he laughs. ‘Sorry,’ he says, the word vibrating in his chest. ‘You just had to wreck it,’ I say, voice muffled against his chest.

‘Did I lie, though?’ he asks, and I move back and look up at him. ‘No, but that’s not the point. I didn’t mean have unprotected sex. I meant, start trying for a kid,’ I say, and he grins. ‘Well, you should’ve just said that,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Yes, y/n. We really are about to do this,’ he says, and I smile.

He pulls me into his arms smoothly, and my eyes slide shut as my head tilts back in anticipation, the feeling of his lips landing on mine never getting old. His hands press into the curve of my back, pulling me closer to him, and I snake my arms around his neck, feeling the short soft hairs at the nape of his neck against my skin.

He pulls away from me after a few moments, lifting me up without warning. I let out a gentle shriek as he chuckles, carrying me (bridal style – because, you know… I’m his bride) into the bedroom. He carefully puts me down onto the bed, crawling over me only moments later, and reattaching his lips to mine.

Our arms wrapped around each other, mouths moving in sync, we’re wrapped up in our own bubble, feeling like nothing could get better than this. Until I start feeling a bit hot and sweaty in my wedding dress, Jimin lying on top of me becoming slightly stifling.

‘Babe,’ I say, trying to pull away from him, but he presses his lips to mine again, humming against my mouth in response. ‘I need… I need to take my dress off,’ I say, and the second I’ve finished speaking, he rolls off me with a sleazy smirk.

‘Urgh, you douche,’ I say, getting off the bed, and he laughs, watching as I walk around to his side of the bed. ‘Unzip me,’ I whisper, moving my hair off my shoulder. He puts one hand on my shoulder blade, the other appearing at the zip beneath the nape of my neck.

He slowly pulls it down the length of my back until it ends, just between the dimples at the bottom of my back. His hands slide beneath the material of the dress and continue to slide over my shoulders, pushing the dress of with them, leaving my top half completely bare.

I hear his breath hitch in his throat and smile to myself, still satisfied at my ability to get his heart racing. I push the dress down to my ankles and stand in just my white lace pants, my back to him. His hands snake around my waist and pull me down onto him, and I squeal as I fall.

He laughs into my ear, hands covering my bare breasts, before his mouth meets mine. ‘Nuh-uh, you need to strip off now,’ I say, and he chuckles. ‘Very romantic,’ he says as I roll off him, pulling the covers onto myself. He climbs out of the bed, pulling his socks off first, coaxing giggles from me when he throws them across the room as though they’re underwear.

‘Come help me then,’ he says, and I pout. ‘I’m cold,’ I say, and he sighs, shrugging off his blazer and tossing it to me. I grin, pulling it on so it covers my breasts, and crawl to the other side of the bed, getting up onto my knees so I’m on eye-level with him.

I begin to unbutton his white shirt, the music gently playing in the background, and then push it off his shoulders, leaving him topless. I let my hands run over the ridges of his abs and biceps, still astounded at how well he keeps in shape, all of him (except for his cheeks and ass) being hard muscle.

He stands proud, letting me admire him with a smirk on his face, the smirk dropping when my nails gently scrape his lower stomach, dangerously close to the hem of his trousers. His hand wraps around my wrist and his other hand pushes my head up to look at him.

‘Don’t tease, daisy,’ he says warningly, and I bite my lip with a grin, proud at how dark and dilated his eyes have become, full of lust, desire and love. I unbutton his trousers hastily, not wanting to get in trouble again, and push them down his strong thighs, watching unwaveringly as he steps out of them, leaving him in just his boxers.

There’s something about him today; I don’t know what it is but I’ve literally wanted him all day. Yes, he’s always gorgeous and sexy and amazing, but seeing him today, I’ve been feeling it building up throughout the day. Maybe it’s seeing him so happy to be marrying me, or seeing the love in his eyes every time he looks at me, but something has made me ready to do this since I first saw him this morning.

Don’t read past here if you aren’t comfortable with smut!

‘Okay, as you can probably see, I’m really hard right now because I can’t stop thinking about how you’re my wife and how we’re about to try to make a baby, so I don’t need foreplay at all. Do you?’ he asks, and I sneak a look at the bulge in his boxers, which is now less of a bulge and more of a… line, his dick obviously rock hard.

Yes, the thought of his fingers, or mouth, between my legs is enticing, but the thought of something else between my legs makes my knees weak. ‘No, no, I’m ready,’ I say, wrapping my arms around him and pressing my lips to his. ‘Nope,’ he says, pulling away from me, ‘get this off.’ He tugs his blazer off me, eyes instantly trawling across my bare body, before groaning.

‘How? How did I get this lucky?’ he whispers, pushing me down onto the bed and crawling on top of me. ‘Those idols were nasty to me at MMA and you thought I ignored you,’ I whisper back, and he bursts out laughing. ‘Stop making me laugh, we’re about to have sex,’ he says, and I grin, pressing my lips to his.

He kisses me for a few moments before pulling away. ‘Okay, I need you. Like, right now,’ he says, reaching out to turn the big light off, leaving us in the mellow glow of the bedside lamp. He pushes himself up onto his knees and hooks his fingers onto the waistband of my pants, pulling them down my legs slowly, maintaining eye contact with me to make sure I’m okay.

He throws the pants over his shoulder, leaving me completely naked, but doesn’t even spare a glance between my legs, just reattaching his lips to mine. I roll us over and push myself up onto my knees, pulling down his black boxers and throwing them to join my pants. Before they even land on the floor, he’s pulled me back down onto him and rolled us over, so he hovers over me.

‘Are you ready?’ he asks, voice raspy with desire. ‘Yes, Jimin,’ I breathe out, hazy with lust. ‘Are you sure you want this?’ he asks, eyes locked with mine, and I nod. ‘Words, daisy, I need words,’ he says. ‘Yes, Jimin, I want this. I want your baby,’ I say, and he groans. ‘Fuck, I could cum just from hearing that,’ he says, and I laugh, wrapping my legs around his waist.

Slowly, without looking away from my eyes, he guides himself into me. The feeling is different without a condom between us, and I can feel every part of him, every vein and ridge and curve. He keeps his eyes on mine, watching for any sign of pain or discomfort like he always does, slowly pushing until he’s all the way in. He gives me a few moments to adjust to the new, foreign feeling, just kissing me in the meantime.

‘Fuck, daisy, stop clenching, please, I’m dying here,’ he says, and I laugh against his mouth. ‘Sorry, it just feels so different,’ I say. ‘It feels different for you? It feels like my dick’s fucking trapped in a warm, skin-tight glove,’ he says, and I burst out laughing. ‘Stop laughing because it’s making you clench,’ he complains, sounding out-of-breath. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ I say, trying to relax myself.

‘Okay, you can move,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure?’ he asks, and I nod, ‘I’m sure.’ He pulls out of me halfway before pushing back in, coaxing a gentle whimper from between my lips. He continues at a painfully slow pace, the pleasure building with each thrust, until I’m moving to meet his thrusts.

‘Babe, stop moving. You’re supposed to let me do the work,’ he breathes out, and I stop. ‘Faster, then,’ I whisper, and he grins, his pace increasing gradually until his hips rapidly snap up to meet mine and my heels are digging into his back. Promise Pt. II plays gently in the background, each beautifully sung line punctuated with gentle whimpers, groans, moans and grunts from the both of us.

Instead of fucking me like he normally does, he’s making love to me, thrusts long and lingering and deep, our love for each other evident in every single movement, and it makes my head spin with pleasure.

‘God, babe, you feel so good, I don’t think I can last,’ he says, hand travelling down between our bodies to rub against my bundle of nerves to get me close too, a wave of bliss hitting me. ‘Ah, Jimin,’ I breathe out, head pressed back against the pillows as he continues to go at a mind-numbing pace, his thumb moving furiously fast too.

‘Fuck, daisy, I’m gonna…’ he trails off, pace beginning to falter and thrusts becoming longer and harder. ‘Please, Jimin, I want it, I want your baby,’ I moan, my mind still working enough to know what to say to get him there, and it works.

He buries his head into my neck the way he always does, deeply inhaling my scent as I dig my heels harder into his back, keeping him in place. He lets out a moan of my name as I clench, feeling him release inside me, continuing to thrust until he’s finished. ‘Fuck,’ he breathes out, panting as he slows to a stop, still inside me, though I feel him softening now.

‘I can’t believe I came before you,’ he says, and I smirk up at him, still out of breath, the knot that was tightening in my stomach disappearing, my rapidly approaching high now rapidly diminishing. ‘Get that smirk off your face, that’s the first time it’s happened, and only because we didn’t do any foreplay,’ he says, and I smile. ‘I know, babe, it’s okay,’ I say softly, and he smiles, pressing his lips gently to mine.

He moves to pull out but I stop him, digging my ankles in again. He raises an eyebrow, giving me a puzzled look, and I shake my head. ‘Not yet, just wait a bit,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘I was gonna like… I don’t know, get you there. Don’t you want my fingers, or mouth?’ he grins, knowing I would never normally say no, and I roll my eyes.

‘Yes, but it’s okay,’ I say, and he shakes his head, frowning. ‘It’s not. I can’t just cum and not get you off as well. How is that fair? I swear it’s like feminism or something?’ he says, and I look at him deadpan.

‘Okay, first of all, it has nothing to do with feminism. Second, I don’t need to get off. I just wanted you to feel good and to have your baby,’ I say, and his eyes flutter shut at the mention of having his baby. ‘Stop saying that or I’ll get hard again,’ he says, and I laugh.

‘No, but seriously, daisy. I want you to feel good too,’ he says. ‘I did feel good. I do feel good. I don’t need to cum, babe, it’s fine. Only 25% of women orgasm during sex anyway,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘Liar, it’s 25% from intercourse. I swear it’s only like 10% that don’t orgasm at all. But anyway, that’s not the point. No wife of mine is not gonna orgasm from having sex with me. Please, daisy, let me make you feel good,’ he says, and I shake my head, my heart melting at the pout that appears on his face.

‘Okay, how about this? You stay in me for a while, just to make sure I definitely get pregnant, and then afterwards, you can do whatever you want. Make me feel good to your heart’s desire,’ I say, and he grins. ‘Okay, there’s absolutely no science behind you getting pregnant because I stayed in you for longer, but whatever makes you happy,’ he says, and I smile.

He presses his lips to mine again, and we spend the rest of the night wrapped in a warm, hazy bubble of love and happiness. He holds me in his arms for hours (both before and after making me feel good lol) and we talk all night, both of us saying, ‘I can’t believe we’re married,’ more times than I can keep track of, the fact that I’m married to him hitting me several times throughout the night. Married to him, and about to be pregnant with his child. Married to the love of my life, Park Jimin. Who’d have thought? 

[in-tua-deep]

My dude, my buddy, my guy, my gal, my pal. Please yeet more of this daemon AU at me, I'm super interested in this whole idea and would love to hear more, how do all of the daemons interact with each other?? What are the little quirks shared between daemon and human?? Did any of them have a phase where they couldn't stand their daemon?? Did Vanya's owl claw out Leonard's eyes when the truth came out?? How exactly would they find out that Five's daemon didn't settle?? I'm living for this AU now

oh i am SO ready for more daemon au are you kidding here we go starting with some NAMES because all good ocs need names and while the first post was mainly for just saying what animal is what now i can develop it into a full au and no one can stop me

So the kids and their daemons share a name for most of their lives, they’re both just,, one or two and so on. But when they get names they run into the roadblock of “do our daemons get the same names as us??” and realize that their one (1) example of a human/daemon relationship is their dad he his daemon doesn’t share his name so… probably not. But he only ordered Grace to give the human in the relationship a name so it’s up to their what their daemons names will be

I’m thinking Luther probably gave his daemon a space themed name because he’s my good space boy so I’m going to name his daemon Andromeda after the galaxy !! I think she would have wanted a somewhat regal sounding name because she tries really hard to model herself after Reggie’s daemon, who is the very definition of regal. Luther calls her Dromeda or Drom for short occasionally

Diego’s daemon HMMM i’m gonna say Valencia, Val for short because that means brave and I think it would be important to Diego to have a defender of some kind and they both would want so desperately to be brave bless their hearts

oh man i am absolutely naming Allison’s daemon Amraphel which means “one that speaks of secrets” and Allison calls him Raph for short and he’s still lazy and I still love him a whole lot

Klaus’s daemon i’m admittedly a bit stuck on but i’m gonna call them Rowan because it’s a tree that symbolizes life and courage and as some very fearful kids with death powers I think they’d appreciate it. Rowan is nonbinary btw (”are you a girl or a boy” “i’m made of fucking dust why does it matter”)

I named Five’s daemon Pancha because I like it and I feel like naming her Quinque, which is Five in Latin, would be way obvious because if you think Reggie didn’t make these kids learn an archaic dead language because he’s a pretentious ass then you’re probably wrong so yes Pancha it is and when the kids figure out it’s literally the number five in another language they’re going to throw a fit

Ben’s daemon is named Tamaya which means in the center literally just because they’re in the middle of two planes of existence and one is full of monsters and also because i like the name Tama as well so this is really two birds with one stone and no one can stop me

and finally Vanya’s daemon is named Pollux for exactly no reason other than because I say so and it sounds like it could be a name for a daemons from the books which i was trying very hard for the aesthetic with all the names but it’s been so long since i’ve read them oops

ALRIGHT with that over with i can actually yell about them which i’m putting under the cut because this is going to be long as FUCK

so how the daemons interact with each other… I’m probably going to leave out Tamaya for most just bc most of them don’t know that she survived Ben’s death for like,, a really long time in the fic i have half planned in my head

SO i already mentioned Andromeda is kind of a stick in the mud and unimpressed with her siblings shenanigans. She tries really hard to emulate their dad/their dad’s daemon but doesn’t have the control on her temper that she should. She’s blunt and says what she’s thinking, she doesn’t really care about the fact that daemons don’t usually speak to people that aren’t their own and she’ll boss everyone around given the chance tbh

She doesn’t get along with Val at all and there’s a lot of posturing between the two especially after they both settle. Generally she’s dismissive but occasionally she taunts Val with the fact that she settled as something that protects against wolves, and that clearly Val is too wild to ever amount to much. Val hits right back calling her and Luther “Dad’s obedient little dogs” and just generally when you have Luther and Diego going at one another Drom and Val are only half a step behind them

She gets along well with Raph and often carries him around when Allison calls him lazy and refuses to do it. Despite that thought Raph is like,, super muscular and strong and he’s a bigass snake, Drom used to carry him into position during missions and let’s just say they were a solid interrogation team with Drom’s teeth and Raph literally squeezing information out of people when necessary (though he can always rumor people just like Allison, he’s not fond of doing it and calls it cheating because he’s a contrary bastard). He tends to help immobilizing people and their daemons and is used as a restraint a lot until their people with thumbs can come along with rope or something

Andromeda and Rowan do NOT get along, mainly because Rowan is pretty vocal about the fact that their dad fucked them up and has no respect. Some of it also comes from the fact that Andromeda is a little jealous of Rowan’s grace as a cat because their dad’s fox daemon is exceptionally graceful and regal. But generally Andromeda ignores Rowan or growls at him, she’s never physically laid a paw on him outside of sparring until that scene with drunk and depressed Luther though

Andromeda,, also doesn’t really get along with Pancha either. It has a lot to do with the fact that as kids Pancha was constantly shifting where Drom would keep a form and stick to it. She would often tell Pancha that one day she’d settle well lmao jokes on her. Pancha used to frequently insults Drom’s intelligence and has called her a “dumb mutt” before but upon return those insults have been conspicuously absent for ALL the siblings. Five still has a fairly venomous tongue, but Pancha keeps her silence.

Andromeda and Pollux don’t have a relationship, simple as that. She ignores Pollux’s existence, even when the other daemon attempts to interact with her. She basically assumes their father is correct in Vanya’s uselessness and as such doesn’t care all that much about either of them. To be fair Pollux has learned from their childhood and doesn’t interact with Andromeda much either, and even when Vanya attempts to like,, call Luther out Pollux keeps his silence.

Val doesn’t like Andromeda and isn’t afraid to show it, bristling and snarling. Val actually settled first of the two of them (a point of pride), and some part of her is a little hurt that Drom turned into a dog that protects a pack from wolves and took it personally as Luther’s literal soul saying that he didn’t see Diego and her as part of the pack. 

Her and Raph don’t really talk a lot but they have a lot of relatable sibling-eye-contact moments over their family being dumb shits and whenever Andromeda wasn’t available it was Val who would carry Raph so they’re actually closer to one another than their people are. Raph firmly refuses to get between any argument of Drom and Val’s and would 100% rumor them apart when they were all kids because Raph was Sick Of Their Shit™ despite his general distaste for rumoring

Val and Rowan get along pretty well actually, Rowan frequently hops up to ride on her back like they’re the captain of a furry wolf shaped ship and Val allows it even though she thinks they’re a little shit. Rowan used to hide behind Val from Reggie and his daemon and Val might still have a lot of protective pack instincts that she showers on them because they allow it. Val may or may not be 90% of the reason that Diego just sighs and lets Klaus tag along whenever, though Diego and Val often disagree on how to handle the Klaus/Rowan situation since Val wants to kidnap them both and keep them safe in their boiler room while Diego is of the firm belief that Klaus is a big boy now and they aren’t responsible for him. 

Val thought Pancha was a mischievous little shit when they were kids as the other daemon would frequently jump wherever she pleased. Val isn’t surprised when Pancha “settles” as a hare since they’re associated with tricksters and are more solitary and independent and tougher than their rabbit counterparts. She’s super worried about Pancha when she arrived back with Five though, since the other daemon is far more withdrawn and look daemons are representations of someone’s soul they can’t lie - Five can put on a tough act all he likes but Pancha’s behavior is pretty clearly off and she looks at all of them like she’s seeing ghosts. Val is the one to carry Pancha back after the shrapnel incident, swearing because she knew she should have been suspicious that Five was carrying Pancha when she’d always hated being carried when they were kids

Val doesn’t particularly care for Pollux and is actually mildly uneasy around him. There’s just something… off about the other daemon. It raises Val’s hackles even if she doesn’t know why, and she doesn’t figure it out until after the fact that the reason she was wary of Pollux is literally because on some level she recognized the chains on him via the medication and was repulsed even though it wasn’t Pollux’s fault. She’s trying to be better after the fact with him.

I’m making myself so sad about Pollux right now tbh he deserves so much better than what he’s got but moving on

Raph is honestly the chillest daemon with everyone else’s daemon. No one has beef with Raph. Like, they might have beef with Allison, but not with Raph which might be why Allison and Raph are probably the least in sync out of the siblings with their daemon actually outside of Vanya. Raph loves Andromeda who carries him places and doesn’t mind him winding up on her because she’s warm. 

Raph considers Val to be his bitchface pal and they bond over their people being stupid. Honestly Raph just wants to sleep for the most part. But legit though Allison and Raph need an intervention for them never being on the same page I think Raph might resent Allison leaving to become a star and he’s the one that dislikes using their power and constantly advised against using it so he might, on some level, blame Allison for them losing Claire (and Allison wonders if the stereotype against snake daemons played a role and sort of blames him) and honestly their relationship is a fucking mess

Raph and Rowan are chill, they’re bros, they know what they’re about. Raph thinks Rowan’s sense of humor is fucking hilarious and they’re both sleepy bitches (Rowan is a cat they knows what they’re about regarding catnaps) so they napped together a lot when everyone was under the same roof. They’re at an unspoken truce regarding the drug issue because unlike the rest of the family Raph actually listens when Rowan explains about their power being the fucking worst and having to numb it down after Raph offers to rumor them to get clean. But yeah like Allison and Klaus don’t hang out much but Raph and Rowan are bros.

I said Raph gets along with p much everyone but he’s not super close with Pancha simply because she was constantly on the move and shifting every other minute as kids back when everyone was unsettled like she was constantly itching to get out of her own skin. Like, Pancha’s thing is moving and being quick and honestly Raph is a little surprised she didn’t settle as a bird daemon the way she flits about. Raph being lazy, they didn’t see much of one another but he was always up for a conversation when Pancha calmed down enough or exhausted herself. He likes her, he just thinks she’s exhausting. He’s much more concerned for her after she gets back from the apocalypse though.

Raph and Pollux kind of,, also don’t have a big relationship tbh. There’s just something about Pollux that makes Raph uneasy, but he’s a chill dude and is probably one of the closest to Pollux after Pancha. Sometimes when Raph would be going slithering through the house, Pollux would sit upon his back and chill as they both went to whatever destination. Raph does think it’s a little weird that Pollux doesn’t fly considering he’s, you know, a bird, but he doesn’t press the issue (which he regrets, later). But overall he’s not nearly as interested in mending bridges with Vanya as Allison is since there’s still that something that prevents him from fully liking Pollux. But as the plot progresses he warms up to the idea more and more without realizing that the reason he’s warming is because they stopped taking the drugs hmm

Rowan doesn’t get along with Andromeda but they’re pretty chill with everyone else’s daemons. They get surprisingly protective of their siblings and even though Klaus isn’t great in a fight pre-Vietnam, Rowan isn’t afraid to flash their claws when necessary. The biggest reason they got kidnapped is because Hazel’s daemon didn’t come to the firefight in the manor and they weren’t willing to break the taboo on touching a human when it seemed like the primary objective was to take Klaus not to kill him. They ended up regretting it for the torture scene though oof.

Rowan loves Val a whole lot and likes trying to groom her and they 100% climb up on Val’s back when they feel like being lazy. Rowan is a self proclaimed dog person though they often say that there are always exceptions and eye Andromeda but this comes up again with Dave and his australian cattle dog daemon where, when they meet, Rowan blurts out that they’re a dog person and Dave’s daemon snorts in laughter considering that Klaus’s daemon is literally a cat. He is the personification of ‘cat person’ his soul is a cAT.

I already yelled about Rowan and Raph being nap buds, they like Raph because he’s never judged them and just accepts that they know their powers well enough to know what does and doesn’t work

Rowan and Pancha actually get along weirdly well?? Like, Rowan can be off the walls crazy at times as you know cats get that simply zest for life and just go fucking nuts for a while before going back to sleep?? so Rowan is actually one of the few of the siblings daemons who could keep up with her when they were kids and Pancha was the last of them unsettled. There was a minor freak out where they didn’t see Pancha at first when Five popped out of the portal which prompted the whole “does anyone else see little number five” comment bc ghosts don’t have daemons but then Pancha popped up and Rowan was so fuCKING RELIEVED and continuously prodded at Klaus to follow either Diego or Five because they want to hang out with Val and Pancha

The only one of the siblings daemons who knows that Tamaya is still alive. She doesn’t speak almost at all, only rarely talking to Klaus but she talks a little more to Rowan. Tamaya is usually curled up in Klaus’s pockets or general clothing but there have been a few occasions where she rides on Rowan’s shoulders or goes off on her own for a little while (those are the occasions where Ben’s ghost also goes off for a little while, neither Klaus nor Rowan question where they go). Tamaya also occasions hides in Klaus’s room instead of accompanying them places. During the kidnapping she nibbles through Klaus’s restraints and allows him to escape a little more easily since no one expects an unaccompanied daemon, haven’t decided yet how this impacts the whole Patch dying situation

Rowan doesn’t really talk to Pollux and Pollux doesn’t talk to them, though Rowan does care about Pollux. Rowan is the most easygoing with Pollux because honestly being high means that they don’t notice Pollux’s strangeness on the same level as the others and will often direct comments towards the owl daemon. Pollux rarely responds, however.

Pancha time!! I love Pancha she’s a ball of nervous energy and can’t sit still half the time. As a kid she was constantly shifting between animals like she would run across a room and be five different animals in the time it took her to get to the other end, just always restless. She and Five kept each other sane in the apocalypse - I haven’t decided whether Dolores exists in this au and if she does would she get a stuffed animal daemon?? Decisions decisions. She’s changed a LOT from the Pancha that the others remember and is noticeably a lot more quiet and standoffish, but also she fades into the background where as a kid she was constantly bursting to the foreground and demanding attention. She looks at them all like they’re ghosts and will flinch when addressed sometimes even by other daemons. The others can sense there’s something just a little bit off about her but attribute that to the trauma (eventually though it comes out that Pancha is still unsettled and that explains it)

Pancha never got along with Andromeda and they butted heads a lot before Pancha left. Pancha’s a smartass daemon alongside her person so would frequently insult Andromeda’s intelligence or go off plan because she thought of something better and would frequently yell for Andromeda to ‘adapt!’ because that was her biggest criticism. Her fluidly changing from one form to another depending on the situation was her calling card for adapting and Andromeda would always growl that one day Pancha would have to settle and Pancha would shrug it off. As adults they still don’t really see eye to eye though Pancha has noticeably softened towards Andromeda. She doesn’t call the other daemon a dumb mutt anymore and in fact doesn’t insult any of the others at all.

Pancha liked irritating Val when they were kids but still got along reasonably well with her. Now that they’re back, Val is noticeably more protective of her family and Pancha is included with that. There are a couple of moments where Val bores holes into Pancha’s head to try and telepathically ask if the hare is okay that Pancha doesn’t respond to. When Five and Pancha are drunk off their asses, Val is the one who carries Pancha even though Luther is carrying Five. She insisted. She also carried Pancha home after the shrapnel injury and curled around her on the bed absolutely FURIOUS that someone dared to hurt her sibling. Pancha says some things while drunk that break Val’s heart, and Pancha never protests the coddling unlike Five. She doesn’t lean into it, but she doesn’t protest it.

Pancha and Raph aren’t close but Pancha likes the other daemon regardless because he never did pry into her business and showed her how to do cool tricks as a snake after he settled and she didn’t. Raph never made comments about her being the last to settle unlike most of the others (even though Ben and Vanya only ever mentioned it kindly).

Pancha and Rowan are bros though Pancha disapproves of Rowan drugging themself to keep the powers at bay and always expresses that they have faith that Rowan will learn to control them one day. Honestly Rowan finds it kind of nice even if Pancha disapproves because at least she disapproves because she 100% believes in them instead of being disapproving for disapproval’s sake. Pancha expresses that even drugged Rowan is one of the most observant of their siblings. Rowan worries about her after she comes back and keeps trying to convince Klaus to go after Five, but Five has a very venomous tongue and Klaus is delicate no matter how much Rowan figures it’s just a defense mechanism since Pancha doesn’t echo the sentiments. Rowan is worried about Five as well. Rowan is just worried :(

Pancha is the only one in the family who loves Pollux and actively seeks the other daemon out. She knows something isn’t right, but instead of being repulsed finds herself delighted at the mystery and assumes that the ‘wrongness’ is why Pollux doesn’t fly. Before Pancha jumped to the apocalypse, she kept trying to teach Pollux how to fly by shifting into various birds but it never did stick.

Yeah though Pollux is a daemon that really unnerves other daemons because they can tell something is terribly wrong even if they can’t quite put their finger on what. Pollux and Vanya don’t really communicate either and get second place in the “our human/daemon relationship is super messed up” after Allison and Raph. 

Pollux doesn’t really speak. To anyone. Especially after Five and Pancha vanish. He’s just,, not really all the way there to be honest. He goes where Vanya does but does precious little, often standing as still as a statue on his perch until moved again. Sometimes he’ll interact with other daemons but not usually by speaking - he’s sat on Raph’s back or tugged at Andromeda’s fur to get her attention or silently stood in someone’s way but seriously for the most part he’s somewhat catatonic. 

After they go off the meds he starts perking up again and speaks for the first time in years to Leonard/Harold and his skua daemon. He actually does have a personality, but he’s been suppressed for so long that he’s still figuring himself out alongside Vanya tbh 

As the White Violin his colors switch and instead of being brown with white spots as a spotted owl he becomes white with brown spots. He also is constantly flying while they’re using their powers, flapping and keeping himself aloft roughly above Vanya’s head, half suspended by their own power. As they figure out control, they eventually realize that it’s Pollux who can direct their sound based attacks with his wings and if Vanya tries to go alone it’s uncontrolled like the attack on the trucker dudes without the focus of her violin. They have to work together to control Vanya’s powers, and it’s difficult because they genuinely don’t really have much of a relationship or know each other very well since they’ve been sedated since Vanya was like, four years old

this post is already so so long so i’ll cut it off here probably but yeAH there’s probably a scene where Pollux attacks Leonard/Harold’s daemon and claws her eye out and there’s a translated wound on Leonard because that’s how daemons work and then they both get fucked up by Vanya and Pollux’s powers/knife storm thing

(Pollux isn’t as angry as Vanya is, truthfully. He’s just… tired. He’s so tired. Vanya wants to end the world in her fury. Pollux wants to end it just so everything… stops.)

but yes please keep asking me questions about this au i’m living for it i love these dumb idiots and their daemons

(still need to come up names for the background character daemons, there’s a part of my mind whispering don’t you fucking dare name reginald’s daemon regina soul i swear to fuck so that’s a thing - i’ll also take suggestions for background character daemon names as well!! it was hard enough coming up with these losers)

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[maynardtrash]

Of All People~Josh Pieters

A/N: wowza it hasn’t been a month and i’m posting again go me. i’ve seen josh has been highkey unrepped in imagines and i feel like he’d fit this prompt so ye here u go all u filthy josh pieters’ stans. btw this is kinda AU bc i have no idea if grant went to school w caspar and josh pls dont abuse my inbox w aggressive facts k thank u.

     For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been popular with my peers. Maybe because, for the most part, the popular people aren’t the ruthless satanists you see on TV. 99.9% of us are decent people. I’d like to think I’m a good person, at least. That being said, there are a certain few I’d have to associate with that represented our group poorly. They were all football players and they thought they were somewhat of demigods. There was always one specific group they would target as well. Those they considered beneath them. The theater kids.

     There were three specific people they would target: Caspar, Grant, and Josh. I felt so bad for them. They didn’t deserve the abuse in the slightest. They were such sweet, caring, witty guys, especially Josh. Watching Josh get made fun of was especially hard for me to see since I’ve always had a little crush on him. I never really noticed him until our drama class, but when I saw him, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. He was so passionate about acting and the art of theater. I got lost in his debates and rants while trying to defend his critiques and praises of certain pieces. He got so heated, and so did I. I had to admit, when he was in his element, he was pretty damn hot.

     I walked into drama to the usual scene: everyone in their individual groups mingling, then Jacobi and Martin, two of the football players, torturing Josh and Caspar. For some reason, I was not having it today. Maybe I had finally gotten sick of it, but I decided enough was enough. “Jacobi. Martin. Why don’t you just leave them alone?” I asked, exasperated.

     “Because it’s none of your fucking business, (Y/N),” Martin snapped back at me.

     “Yeah, since when are you gonna defend a bunch of losers?” Jacobi chimed in, his tone suggested he was hurt.

     “Since I realized they’ve done nothing to deserve your abuse!” I spat. Before the two idiots could finish their argument, our drama teacher came in and we took a seat. I decided to sit with Josh and Caspar. “Are you guys good?” I asked.

     “Yeah, we’re good,” Caspar responded. Josh did nothing but stare blankly. “Thank you for that.”

     “Of course,” I assured him. “You guys are way better than them anyway.”

     “Oh, trust me,” Caspar said. “We’re aware. They’re just insecure or whatever.” I laughed at his response and nodded. “They don’t even know the half of it,” I thought to myself. “Where’s Grant?” I asked. He would have come in by now, but he was nowhere to be found. “He stayed home for the day,” Caspar said. “He’s taking a personal day for video games and pizza. Lucky bastard.” I giggled at his response. Caspar and I talked for a bit while Josh just sat there. We were eventually hushed by our teacher.

     There was about a half hour left of the class when the teacher hit us with a curve ball. “Okay, class!” she announced while we read through West Side Story. “I have an assignment for you all. I understand the weekend is upon us, so I’ll be giving you a gift!” The class clapped and buzzed with excitement. “You will be doing a summary and synopsis of West Side Story with a partner that I am assigning to drive you out of your comfort zone!” she announced. The class groaned in harmony. There’s nothing worse than having to work with someone you barely talk to over your weekend when you could be doing literally anything else.

     She posted the list on the board right before the bell rang. We all shuffled over to see who we were stuck with. Once I saw who I was paired with, my heart fluttered. “(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)-----Josh Pieters”. I was with Josh. I had to contain my emotions, but I was more than excited. I finally had an excuse to talk to him. He was beginning to pack up when I approached him. “Hey, partner!” I said excitedly. He looked up from shoving his books in his bag and stared blankly again. “Oh,” he deadpanned. “Cool.” I shifted my weight, feeling disappointment set in. “He could be a little more excited,” I thought to myself. “How about we meet at my house later? I wanna get this out of the way so we can at least try to enjoy the weekend, you know?” He only nodded, then began to walk away. “Wait!” I yelled after him. He turned with the same blank expression on his face. “Gimme your phone.”

     “Why?” he asked cautiously.

     “So I can give you my number and address?”

     “Oh, yeah.” I typed my number in his phone then texted my address to myself so I could save his number. “Come by at five, okay?” I told him.

     “Yeah, okay,” he responded without a hint of emotion in his voice.

     Five o’ clock had rolled around, and there was no sign of Josh. I was about to be extremely upset, but, two minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I swung the door open to the tall ginger I’d been waiting for for so long. He gave an awkward smile and wave. “I’m here,” he said, a little more life in his voice.

     “Perfect!” I responded. “Just drop your bag in there.” I led him to the living room and plopped down on the couch. “C’mere,” I said, patting the seat right next to me. “I don’t bite, I promise.” He placed his bag in front of the cushion next to mine and sat down. His posture was rigid and he looked extremely stiff. “You can sit back,” I informed him. “I mean, we’ll be here for a bit.” He only nodded and slid back. “So,” he finally spoke up. “Where are your parents?”

     “On a business trip,” I told him and he nodded in response.

     “So you have the whole place to yourself?” he asked.

     “Yep! It’s pretty nice. I get to do whatever, whenever. I have it to myself for another week if you’d like to come back over.”

     “You know, I don’t need your pity!” he snapped. I was taken aback. I did nothing to deserve the tone he had, and I was fed up. “Now, listen here!” I snapped back. “I don’t pity you! I think you’re a very interesting and dynamic person that I’d like to get to know! I’m not trying to treat you like a charity case, I just think you’re cute, okay!?” I realized what I said once it left my mouth and I went bright red. We sat in silence for a bit when Josh broke it and asked, “You... You really think I-I’m cute? Like, not in a baby way?”

     “No, not in a baby way,” I responded with a giggle. “Like ‘someone I’d be interested in dating’ cute.” That’s when it happened. Josh grabbed my face and kissed me. His lips felt as soft as velvet. Everything happened so quickly. Before I knew it, I was straddling him and both our tops were gone. Our make out session was getting heated by the second, then Josh pulled away. I was upset to say the least. “I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered. I was awaiting rejection. “It’s just... you have no idea how often I’ve dreamed of this happening,” he said. “I never thought in a million years this would happen.”

     “I feel the same way,” I added breathlessly. His face broke out into a goofy smile and we continued to kiss passionately. I then stopped the fun to lead him to my room. We walked in and he immediately closed the door and pinned me to it. He kissed my jawline and neck sloppily, bounding my wrists together with his one giant hand, the other hand exploring my curves. I whimpered under his touch. “It’s always the quiet ones,” I thought. 

     “Have you done this before?” I asked him. He chuckled darkly. “Jacobi and Martin may think I’m a gay virgin, but they’ve never been more wrong,” he answered. With that, his free hand went to my soaking panties. “Excited, are we?” he asked excitedly.

     “Yes,” I responded breathlessly. He began to rub vigorously and I screamed in response. “That’s right,” he encouraged me. “Scream for me, babe.” I felt like I was about to burst from an orgasm when he stopped. I groaned in frustration and he smiled. “If you’re gonna cum, it’s gonna be on my cock,” he growled. He then threw me on my bed and I giggled in delight. This was the best time I’ve ever had with a guy, and it was with nerdy, quiet Josh. I couldn’t have been happier. 

     He leaned his thighs on the edge of the bed and before my open legs. He dropped his pants and boxer briefs at the same time and held his hard cock in his hand. He slowly stroked his erection to the sight of me, and I couldn’t help but touch myself in response. “Fuck, (Y/N),” Josh groaned. “You’re so fucking hot. Who got you this fucking wet, huh?”

     “You did,” I whimpered in response.

     “Louder!” he yelled as he stroked himself vigorously.

     “YOU DID, JOSH!” I shrieked. He then stopped jerking himself off and climbed on the bed. He grabbed a condom from his pants on the floor and rolled it on. He sat down and pat his leg. “Sit on my lap, baby,” he commanded. I wasted no time and climbed on top of him. He lined himself up to my dripping pussy and rammed himself into me. We were in sync within seconds, pounding up and down at the same time. We groaned, moaned, and screamed as we pleasured each other. I came within what felt like seconds, and Josh followed shortly behind. 

     After we calmed down, I began to lay down as I thought it was over. Josh had other plans. “Lay on your stomach,” he told me. I followed his directions and lay on my stomach. “Now get on your knees so your ass is up in the air.” Once again, I did as I was told. I couldn’t see much as my face was somewhat in a pillow, but that’s when I felt him enter me again. I responded with a drawn out moan as he pounded me from behind. I felt all new sensations and did nothing but moan nonstop. We both came quickly from the position and because of how sensitive we were from our first round.

     He then collapsed next to me and brought me into his chest. “So,” he said, his o slightly drawn out. “Does this mean... like... are we a thing now?”

     “Do you want to be?” I asked in return.

     “I think you know my answer.”

     “Then yes.”

     “But what are people gonna say?” He had a point. I could hear it now. “Josh Pieters? Really? Of all people?” But I didn’t care. As long as I had him, nothing mattered.

[unholyree]

Never Have I Ever...

Dylan O’Brien smut

warnings:  nsfw !!, oral (female recieving), squirting, slight pain inflicted

request:  dylan o brien where they're best friends and somehow the reader tells him about how she's never ever had an orgasm, followed by MANY orgasms bc dylan's gotta help his friend out

Just like ever other Saturday night, you and Dylan held this small get-together that comprises quarter of the cast of Teen Wolf including Tyler P, Holland, and Shelley. Although you were not relatively part of the crew, being Dylan’s roommate made you part of the family. They have known you for a year which was as long as you were being Dylan’s roommate, but it was enough for them to acknowledge your character.

As everyone downed alcohols of their choice, Dylan was nowhere to be found. You figured he was either in his room longing for solitary or he was outdoors smoking; nevertheless, you wanted to find him sooner than join Tyler quaff cans of beer in the living room.

You proceeded into the kitchen grasping two red solo cups that was loaded with frigid beer, and advance outdoors. Luckily, you spotted Dylan who had his back leaned against the brick wall while also having a lit cigarette placed between his fingers. He arched his elbow, directing the cigarette on his pink plump lips savoring the fumes that coursed in his mouth. Then he softly puffed the smoke, scattering into thin air.

“Hey pretty boy.” You uttered disturbing the stillness of the surrounding while you stood a few feet away from Dylan. He looked alongside where you surfaced and threw a lopsided grin, his pupils dilated and bore a despondent expression, giving a mellow cough after puffing fumes of nicotine. “Hey Y/N.”

Once Dylan finished his cigarette he threw the rest on the concrete ground, numerously stepping on it with his sneakers. “I brought you a drink.” You stated, stretching your hand reaching him the red solo cup on one of your hands. “Thanks.” He, again, gave a sheepish grin and a nod taking the cup from your hand. Seeing there was an empty space beside Dylan, your feet escorted you beside him and leaned your back against the brick wall. “Why are you out alone, Dylan?” You asked while your eyes focused on your drink and his response was a shrug followed by, “Eh, I prefer to smoke here.”

A faint giggle escaped your lips, knowing Dylan, his excuse was completely unreasonable. “Dylan you’re literally --” Your sentence was ceased after feeling tender plump lips attach on yours. Dylan spun from his side and faced in front of you, his arm resting on the wall building enough support not to fall on you. Both your tongues made out in sync as you relished the flavor of tobacco and alcohol in his mouth.

This events do happen, occasionally, where both of you ascend into making out. Often just to break some kind of tension between, but it usually stops there. It never made its way to a whole new level, where there were more intimate and physical impacts, and both of you were perfectly fine with the idea of it.

Dylan’s hands found its way on the edge of your jeans and roaming around valuing your curves and humming vibrations into the kiss.Your back leaned further against the wall , your head submitting under Dylan while he still fought for dominance. “Mm,” His lips hummed, feeling his tongue inquire entrance with yours. You certainly ratified to it making him explore further in your mouth.

“Y/N! Dylan!” Both you and Dylan heard, instinctively breaking the kiss and shifting back to your previous setting. In the corner of your eye, you saw Shelley holding a cup with a befuddled expression. “Where have you two been?” She questioned, “The game is starting and we have been looking for you two!”

Both of you apologized as Shelley retreating inside the house. Dylan motioned for you to proceed after him, where you gladly did, and slung his muscular arm around your shoulder while you both accessed into the living room seeing the others sat and arranged in a circle, with a bottle of vodka pl. “C’mon! We’re playing never have I ever,” Holland voiced, “With a kinky twist!” Tyler appended.

Holland patted a vacant slot beside her, where you followed with Dylan who was still behind you. You were seated beside Dylan while he was seated beside Tyler, lastly followed by Shelley. “So the game is similar with the standard one but,” Holland explained, “You take a shot if you have done the thing that the specific person confessed, plus, the confession must be something wild or kinky.”

“Okay I’ll start.” Holland stated. “Never have I ever,” She paused for an instant pondering of a shrewd idea, “Had a one night stand.”  The statement made all of you reckon, nevertheless, taking a shot and letting the sting of alcohol run down your throat. Next was Shelley admitting, “I have never had a threesome.” And as expected, Tyler and Dylan parted a toast and guzzled the shots.

You, Holland, and Shelley eyed the two boys acknowledging they apparently had a threesome. “When?” Holland intrigued. “It was some night in Europe, Dylan and I were very drunk, okay?” Tyler expounded.

Then it was Tyler’s turn, “I have never sent a sext!” He pridefully stated on which Shelley solely took a shot making Holland, again, compelled. “Damn Shelley! Who knew you’d be that wild.” Making Shelley fluster and focus on the carpet below her. “It was one sext to my ex, no biggie.”  Next was Dylan who took his time trying to reckon any ideas, “Well,” He prolonged, “I have never been caught masturbating.” He stated although resounding more of a question rather than a statement. “Oh come on O’Brien, you can think of something better than that!” Tyler provoked, “I’m sure as hell no one here would take a shot, right guys?” However, Dylan wouldn’t budge as no words have withdrawn from his lips. 

Finally, it was your turn. “Is it depressing to say I have never,” You timidly said followed by, “had an orgasm.” followed by the sound of your voice sinking into embarrassment while your face blushed into a shade of red. Everyone startled over your statement. “But Y/N, you aren’t a virgin right?” Shelley inquired. “Yeah, I’m totally not a virgin anymore.” You guaranteed. “It’s just that, I never really got into the mood because it’s either my partner really sucked at giving pleasure or he had a really small penis.”

“Man that sucks! Orgasms are like the fucking best.” Tyler voiced.  And the game mostly revolved around numerous confessions until midnight struck. Tyler had the most shots while the rest had no more than four, particularly Holland who didn’t want to get anywhere near being wasted as she had to drive Shelley and Tyler back to their homes.

Holland and Shelley made their way into Holland’s car while an intoxicated Tyler followed them. “Hey wait up for me!” Tyler slurred, throwing up at the pavement then attempted to open the car door and get in the backseat. “Tyler you better not vomit in my car.” Holland threatened.

“Bye guys!” You waved, your shoulder leaned on the door frame, “Drive safely.” 

Once you shut the door behind, you looked at the shambles of articles scattered around your living room. You commenced the clean up, starting with the bottles and solo cups on the floor, throwing the rubbish in the bin. Then while you tried reaching for excess litter stuck in various places, a pair of arms sneaked around your waist, spinning you around. You were faced with Dylan. His eyes gesturing a sign of lust and his breathing, heavy and reeked of alcohol. “No one has really made you come before?” He questioned, his hands advancing under your shirt and unclasping your bra. “No one, Dyl.” You moaned out as one of his hands tried grasping on your taut nipple while the other was on your back, pulling you against his chest. “Well,” He snickered, pulling your shirt over your head and removing your bra that was once concealing your breasts and both tossing the fabric behind him. “Let me be the first one to show you how an orgasm feels.” He muttered, his hot breath sending cold shivers down your spine, and seconds before he collided his luscious nude lips onto yours. This time, both your mouths savored the taste of varieties of alcohol while your top was fully exposed to Dylan. “You have such fucking amazing breasts, Y/N.” He groaned examining your chest, delicately squeezing one of your boobs while you took delight of it. Again, Dylan inquired entrance with your mouth, which you gladly gave authorization on as his tongue became more aggressive within exploring your mouth. Both your tongues danced in perfect sync as your breathing became more heavy, droplets of sweat trickling down onto your neck. Dylan murmured, “Jump.” Between the make out, making you leap and wrap your legs around his waist. Within no time, he took you upstairs into his room and laid you down on his bed, him putting his shirt over his head and throwing it at the corner revealing his sexy, toned body. He pinned you down effortlessly, lowering his head into your ear whispering, “Scream as loud as you can for me, babygirl.”

He began unzipping your jeans, pulling them down leaving you in your sexy lace underwear. “Your so hot,” Dylan mumbled, gradually spreading your legs and taking an exceptional view in front of him whilst slowly slipping down the panties, dropping them onto the floor, this time offering Dylan a much finer view. “Fuck,” He swore, “I can’t wait to make this pretty little pussy come.”

Then he initiated by leaving soft kisses set inside your thighs and working his way onto your core, lowering his face onto it and blowing a strip of air making you flinch. Dylan licked a strip of your entrance and slowly inserted a finger in you, firstly taking a slow pace. It followed with him inserting another, making you moan out of delight whilst his pace quickened in pace, his tongue indulging into your clit while constantly licking it. Your hands went its way up to Dylan’s hair, as you felt his fingers slowly curl inside you, making you tug vaguely at the strands of Dylan’s hair. No doubt you knew he had found your g-spot effortlessly, unlike your past lovers who never knew how to please you, as his fingers skillfully worked its way in yo. He repeatedly done his actions whilst his mouth pleased your clit by drawing figure 8′s, captivating you with the pleasure you were receiving. 

“Fuck, Dyl.” You moaned loudly feeling Dylan pick up an aggressive pace making your back arch against his bed, your legs starting to quiver. “Faster,” You instructed where he gladly obeyed, “As you wish, babygirl.”

It reached the point where you felt your legs tremble, loud moans escaping your lips. Though you weren’t stable in your place, since your body kept quivering and quaking, Dylan held you down. You threw your head against the bed, whimpering, “I’m close.” And felt your stomach contract, your mind being incapable of thinking of anything else but coming.

Without anymore signals, you felt yourself tighten around Dylan’s fingers, and sense that you came at Dylan. So that’s an orgasm, your breathing was improper while adrenaline rushed through your veins. “Fuck you’re a squirter, Y/N.” Dylan stated, plastering a devilish grin on his face after seeing you finally had your first orgasm. “God, Y/N, that was so hot.” “Are you up for round two?” Dylan asked while you gave a nod still trying to recover from your first release. “You’ll definitely enjoy this.” He stated, unbuttoning his pants and pushing it down along with his boxers and brief, revealing his dick that sprung out. Then he opened his drawer, fumbling for an object that later on revealed as a condom.  Dylan straightaway ripped the wrapper with his teeth and rolled the lubricated rubber on his dick. He lowered himself onto your entrance, spreading your legs extensively. Steadily, he made his way inside you, both moaning in unison while Dylan commenced into thrusting. You cried out a, “Fuck, you’re so big, Dyl.” As you altered to his size. “Y/N, you’re so fucking tight.” Dylan groaned, thrusting into you faster making you and the bed sway. With both his hands on your waist trying to keep you steady and put, he lowered his face onto your perky breasts and latching his mouth on one of them. “Mm, so fucking good.” Dylan hummed, feeling him lick on your nipple. His mouth left your breast and began leaving trails of kisses from the valley of your breasts up to your collar bones and finally to your neck. He found a sweet sensitive spot where moaned as he gently brushed past it, he began sucking and nibbling on to the area leaving a sight of a hickey. “You’re mine now huh.” Dylan breathed out. Your hands crept up its way on Dylan’s toned back as your nails dug on it. His first response on it was flinching on the pain inflicted, but then grew immune to him. You dug your nails, left scratches on his back yet Dylan didn’t bother.

“Fuck! Dylan, I’m about to come!” You cried aloud, this time enduring your walls tighten much more around his cock ,your legs trembling down and your body and mind being unable to function. “Come for me, baby.” Dylan moaned throwing his head back out of the satisfaction he felt inside you, while you released, again, this time at his cock though.

You felt Dylan release too, filling up the condom that was wrapped around his dick. He tied the rubber and wrapped in a few pieces of Kleenex tissues that were on his table side, throwing it in the bin. “Okay,” Dylan breathed out, “Best sex I had in a while.” While he positioned his way under the covers, with you alongside him. The room echoed out a heavy and passionate atmosphere, as both Dylan and you tried to regain your breathing. You could hear both heartbeats reverberate around the room along with the catching up of breath. It also did reek of sex as it felt really humid around you two while drowning in pools of sweat.

“Mind doing this again?” You asked, looking beside at Dylan who wrapped his muscular arms around you and nuzzled his head behind your back. “Not at all.”