#eidolonROCK

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Eidolon ROCK Episode 11

"edging the Phantom Clock" "I feel like if it was manual, a fox would not be able to drive it." yeah that's definitely where that line is "a little machine that turns food into shit before dying" damn same "You left that food unattended, I gave you time to eat it, and you didn't." fox etiquette "I am the first fox to ever drive a car I'll have you know." "I think we may have screwed this one up, gang!" "Listen, if a fox can drive a car, then I'm pretty sure that I can drive a helicopter." "How high is the chopper at this point?" "I would say at about chopper height." "I have a plan, I don't know if it's good." "Hasn't stopped anyone else!" "Hey guys, just checking in, what the fuck is going on?" "Virginia Valentine, canonically a Yu-Gi-Oh fan." this is the most important lore yet "You think Harvey could've gotten us out of that? Harvey got us into that!" "What is a Chili?" "I'm a fox" that's so true worst rolls of all time trying to look at some cars "I call it Stand." because it stands beside him

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Eidolon ROCK Episode 10

"Nothing bad will ever happen again!" "Yeah, I fell from heaven, Harvey. I fell out of the sky." "If Virginia is an angel, then angel's must be good, because Virginia's good." "Aww." "See it's nice when it comes from the fox." "The fox has learned about religion." good Lexi's here with some Fox Facts, I don't actually know anything about foxes so this is helpful for me Chili ate a weird bug and she doesn't even care "Apparently dying is just sort of a suggestion." when Chili is the one who has to argue for planning for things ahead of time you know you're in trouble "Listen, it wouldn't be JoJo's Bizarre Adventure if somebody didn't need to shit." finally we can find out what toilets are like in colorado "I'm not getting in an anime fight when I've got to take a shit." I think we've all been in this situation before "Harvey go to the fuckin bathroom!" Chili is telling me about patreon "I bet none of you have ever had your name read out by a fox before, huh?" that's so true "The fox is here to help you, you can trust the fox." can't handcuff a cat idiot "Can I let him shoot me" now this is jojo "More cops are budding off of the existing cops." "All cops are budding." "Oh my God Cecilia! I'm so sorry!" everyone should always be saying this "It's too bad there's not a move, for like, trying to suss out information beyond what you know." "I am going to dredge the undertow." eidolon if Chili could drive a car, 90% getting the car away from Chili

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Eidolon ROCK Episode 9

finally the part where Virginia's a cat "Molly, as soon as we get inside, does Virginia feel the sudden urge to leave?" "A place for world-weary travelers, whatever that world may be," alright so hold on "This place is Switzerland, alright? Is that clear?" "No." "Not at all." "Don't worry about it." "I'm worrying about it!" "You have been granted mercy and you should cherish it." ferrets could be talking like this all the time, we don't know, we don't speak ferret "Virginia, if you're jealous, one of us can give you scritches I'm sure." "Didn't think going into this that I'd get out-knowledged on milk!" I mean you should've frankly, there's a lot of kinds of milk "I guess my question is, did you have running milk before you had running water?" circumstances have come together to form vore "What's wrong Chris, your milk to strong for you?" "She has several Nooks, but each one has one book installed on it." "I didn't expect anyone to get swallowed today! I feel like that's not a ridiculous assumption!" "Just out of curiousity, what small metal objects have people wanted but not been able to get their hands on recently?" "Smash cut to two hours later, all of our eidolons are somehow inside this man." "That Playstation Portable didn't sit right with me!" who would've thought, that that would not be the best thing to eat "More like the SPOILED milk hotel!" got em frankly everyone in the rock group could've given up their intelligence, how would I be able to tell "You accidentally just climbed up and spied on a guest through their window, huh?" "Yes..." "The Neutral Milk Hotel straddles an unknowable number of alternate realities and universes." alright that'll probably never come up again "We're just the shittiest guests!" well that's not that surprising honestly "I don't really like that we just confirmed the multiverse." well I have some bad news, from the future........ "That guy smelled neat." this is what animals are always thinking "I am a fox, ma'am, I cannot explain this better." "You know, you can load ebooks on the PSP as well." "Shut the fuck up." "It was something about multiverses, I think we're in one?" you best start believing in multiverses, Chili the Fox "I really don't appreciate people bringing angels into my hotel" this is it, the reveal! "When you are too tired to continue on your journey, take the instructions of a helpful stranger, and you will find yourself back at our door." that's cool, I like that kind of thing "Also, why are you an angel?" "Wait, what?" "Oh, yeah, you're an angel. Let's get in the car, huh?" I was completely confused about the door knocking sound effect, I thought it was in real life, and didn't understand how someone knocking on the door made the podcast theme song stop "What the fuck is Fate/Extra?"

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Eidolon ROCK Episode 8

"My Eidolon can transform any oxygen it touches into glass." oh shit "Chili's just vibing, dude." "There's a lot of NPCs in this car that should logically be talking to each other, and that's no good for me." "Chris, how did you feel about Combos before and how do you feel about them now?" "Yeah, what's your tie to Combos?" "I used to like Combos, and I will always like Combos." "It's just like, light." "That's my gimick!" I see Luke had to come up with a character who would insist on introducing himself so that they would actually find out his name "What's a tiger?" "Imagine a cat, but real big and it doesn't hate swimming." "To be fair, Luke has gotten very used to the other group, his notes not really mattering" "This is true, I am extremely cool and strong." "Okay, I think I know what a tiger is now." "If you're listening at home, google the Gilman Tunnels!" I won't "Have we considered that maybe he's actually right, and that we can't beat him?" "Luke, I'm gonna suddenly remember that I have an Eidolon" "The problem is this group has -1 GEN." "Yeah, and the player characters aren't too great either." "I am going to become the Inhuman." me entering a depressive episode "fractal tiger orb" oh that's a good phrase "The bad guy's dead which means Luke can now think about the NPCs again." "I mean I kind of feel better about the fact that it doesn't have a whimsical name that could possibly be the title of a song." "That's true." "As you all kind of unpack and shovel into the front door, the camera kind of pans up to that hotel sign, and you hear like a, vrrr," "No!" "as the rest of the sign kind of flicks back on, to read 'Neutral Milk Hotel.'" "I'm actually fucking furious."

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Eidolon ROCK Episode 7

"It's been a day, Virginia." "Yeah, I died twice." "You died twice?" "Oh, I don't trust Harvey to do anything." if this was an anime, it would cut to Harvey sneezing "It says, if you want someone to understand you, they should walk ten miles in your shoes, to the nearest town." great, this is with the best possible roll, fantastic "She could still be alive." "Yeah!" "She's probably not still alive." "Probably not." I love to be comforting "So far, you've gotten off better than everyone else who's tried to kill us today." I feel like I should say this more often in my life "It's like I'm always telling people, if they just don't kill us, we can be friends." anime! "your clock is just out there." "Yeah." "Is that a euphemism?" "I'm mature, but I've still got that youthful vigor, and vive." this is what everyone's always saying about Harvey "You know, I have an apartment, and a job, and a hobby." I have money, a salary, a wife! "Well, the last two times we've found useful buildings on the road, it's gone very bad for us." "Listen, eventually, one of them has to be normal, right?" "Chili just learned to read yesterday, and she can already read the room better than Harvey." "If you had like an Animorphs book cover, that was like a person on one side, and a house on the other, they're like that middle image." now let me stop you right there. a house is not an animal "3D Doritos. They're the PSP of snacks!" well I guess I can't argue with that "We're about to get assassinated by someone who makes hunger happen or some dumbass power." "Yeah, there's definitely something happening, I'm always in the mood for Combos." "the official state bird of New Mexico, a roadrunner" jesus christ "and then you see more text appearing beneath each of you, that says 'Dumbicus Losers.'" god damnit "Chris and Sabrina just hear, you know, the classic meep meep sound, but Chili, you hear 'fuck you.'" "I can take you to the motel, I am worried that there's just going to be like, you know, some kind of hair monster, or frankenstein or something in there." "Wait, anvils are made of metal." this can only go great "There was a room full of skeletons!" "Not my skeleton." hashtag notmyskeleton "Chili, I have an idea. Do you think you can drive a car?" "Chris, get outside the anvil please, I need you to have arms." "And now you're also rocketing through the air with no air control." "I think I have a plan for this." "Okay, I would love to hear it!" "So my eidolon's power is the ability to try and make people believe things that aren't true, right?" "Right." "So, if say, my eidolon had access to some sort of like, artistic tools, and could draw something, could it convince someone that that drawing is real?" "Do you think maybe if I punched the painting you just made to destroy it, that that would hurt the bird now that it's inside your painting dimension?" looks like we've got a classic chalkzone situation here "Harvey, what are you doing? You're in a random suburb in Albuquerque and the cops probably just got called on you." "What is Hitman but the Looney Tunes of video games?" "I just look at what's left, and just kind of mutter under my breath, 'no, fuck you.'" "You know, even with everything that has happened to us so far, I still kind of can't believe that we had to go through that." "Oh, yeah. We probably should take a left turn at Albuquerque." i'm so mad "You need to understand that every single one of your teeth that's still in your skull right now is a God damn gift from me to you" "I can absolutely tear the limbs off a grown man. I've done it before, and believe you me, I WILL do it again."

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Eidolon Rock Episode 6

"What is your conception of Chili?" "That she's really good at jumping on enemies." "Chili is a good friend." I love to hear that there was actually a scene with that alley cat, so even though I have no idea how that would come up again I'm glad the tie's still there "Chili definitely can read, she has read things so far, and that is terrifying in some ways to me." "You know when Dracula became president, and like, we had those series of movies called the Dark Universe?" "Sorry Virginia, we're having a moment. We're having a bro moment." "I think Cecilia is very pointedly looking out the window so you can't tell that she's crying a little bit." "I think Jack just groans slightly as you were bringing out your PSP." "Oh, sorry, he hates PSPs, he's always been a DS man." "Thus New Mexico was designated the Sword State, and Florida was designated the 12-Guage Shotgun State." "Oh my God, Luke, you spent so much time walking to that punchline." "Literally the only thing I know about Albuquerque is that one Weird Al song." "Yeah, that's true." "I thought real hard about making that into an Eidolon." "There's no laws, baby." "They're loaded with preservatives, and now so am I. I'll live forever." this is also my strategy "The prices are actually very affordable!" "We're rich, we don't care!" "Well you see, highway 40 is on the other side of this building, I've decided," well I'm very quickly not liking this eidolon "She made my eidolon a chia pet!" more like eidolawn, am I right I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be imagining all these things bursting out of people's bodies kind of FLCL style. Harvey eating food from the refrigerator that's part of him is the worst thing I've ever heard the good continue to die young "I wanna run over to the woman who's turning into a house." "Uh, she is a house." "Why are we only rolling good today on the bad decisions?" sometimes you just try to trick a bunch of houses "Buried in Bedrock is my Flintstones detective noir, thank you." "Harvey is wearing his jacket inside out and trying to convince Chili to buy a house?" "But Chili doesn't know enough about electricity to object." this is fucked up because Lexi knows everything about electricity "Luke, can I invoke the power of animal friendship?" "I think uh, I think no." "I can turn any pizza pie into a regular pie" with the power of 「That's Amore」 oh this must be that voice I've heard about that Luke absolutely shouldn't have done

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Eidolon Rock Episode 5

"Why didn't you say something?" "Because I died, and I didn't know how to talk about that." "Yeah, he's on speaker phone. Harvey always takes calls on speaker phone." "You are a fox, I am a man, I know more about technology than you do." "We could just make sure that your dad doesn't die. I guess." "The Grand Canyon remains a world-famous tourist attraction to this day, and after certain regulations were repealed by the Dracula administration, it became a hotspot for skydiving." "Fuck you." "Chili is simply whelmed." oh I love the young justice cartoon why haven't we put a restaurant in a giant cable car over the grand canyon in real life?* *note: probably for a lot of excellent reasons "I'm gonna take that gun." "Hell yeah, more for the collection!" "The achievement pops up, 'More Guns Than You Can Use.'" "We will collect every gun in the world." alright but they couldn't get you off "Chris is immediately regretting going along with this plan, since it requires them to be trapped above the Grand Canyon." "Yeah, I didn't realize this would be a part of the situation, but I guess I should have." "Can I get the chicken florentine?" "Sure, yeah. This restaurant has all foods." "Listen, there's a lot of serious businesswomen voices in this game." "He's gonna pull a D'arby on us" "No, I'm a helicopter pilot, I'm not a... restaurant... pilot?" "Remember that time you told me about how you outhustled Minnesota Fats cause pool's just pinball but big, right?" I'm so glad there's a pinball episode "I think we both learned a lot today!" "Uh huh, uh huh, yeah. I think I'm about to get a very practical lesson in the terminal velocity of a human body." "That's my gun. Where did you get my gun?" "I mean it's mine now." "Give me my gun back!" "I will when I'm done with it." I love Molly and Luke just barely not doing the Totally Reprise voice to say "floatin'" "Fucking fizzy lifting drink fuckin' ass" "Listen, we don't need guns!" "Alright, fine, we'll just go and check on him without a gun, I guess." "That's the secret, Virginia still has one." "Harvey finally is gaining human intelligence?" "Wizard Decapition Bonus x8" "Jesus, what was going on down there?" "Pinball, lady. Pinball." "Well, I guess Harvey D. Godlove goes hungry again." "We iris out." "And then, we iris back in." "Now am I a redneck or a cowboy? Those ain't the same thing, you know."

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Eidolon Rock Episode 4

"Everyone who can use a gun has a gun now." buffy series finale "Your eidolon sucks." "We call a tow truck. We carjack the tow truck," "Harvey's just been on twitter this whole time." "Harvey just like, inconspicuously closes Granblue." I'm playing granblue as I listen to this "Cecilia, did you eat a fortune telling machine at some point?" "I just sniff at her shadow. Does it smell like her?" "I don't think we have many other options, but to chill." this is me when I don't have any motivation because of depression "I think I got a notification on Granblue." "If it's on airplane mode I can't get my rare drops!" trying to get those fuckin luminiera swords "Do they look normal or are they wearing like, outfits?" see this is the question everyone should be asking in jojo all the time "Oh, they just have weed." "Chili, how do you feel about leaving people for dead in the desert?" "Uhh, yeah I dunno. They'll figure it out." "Sir, you have a man bound and gagged in your trunk." "Escape room!" "It's that thing where you know, eidolons are drawn to each other. That's a thing, right?" "I just drove for six hours, got knocked out, and had to ride in a trunk for six hours." "Sucks to suck, dog. Not sure what to tell you." "Also, why are you just a shadow? Ah, doesn't matter, it's dumb eidolon shit, I get it." "Good thing you're intangible now." this guy likes to talk about dehydration... and this restaurant is called the pretzel crate... you know what that means... these pretzels are makin' me thirsty "Listen, listen. Pretzels, metaphors, I'll eat whatever you got." "mostly the kind of candies that like, old guys but like cool old guys would like. Like Rolos." "Who is playing the like, the peg hopping game, if anybody?" hell yeah "Chris, give me a beat the odds plus genius to see how good you do in the peg game." oh I know this voice, this is the bones guy I would also encourage you to donate to a cause to support the current Black Lives Matter protests if you can! "I am in a shadow on the ground, sir. What's your deal?" "Oh shit, it's the bone man." "That's a 12, so I demand my cool lady show up, also." "Finally, I am succeeding!" "Trying to kill me, by taking away the most valuable membrane in my entire body." I really hate what's happening with this whole no skin situation, it's very jojo though love to be helpfully drenched in blood "Wait, are they made of salt? Is this whole fucking place just made of salt?" oh that's bad if you don't have skin no thoughts brain intangible "Does Virginia technically have organs anymore?" "You know, she doesn't. It lands on you and nothing happens." Chili never actually uses her eidolon, she just fights, which I guess it makes sense she can do being a fox "Rest in peace, Sephiroth." "Is Sephiroth in my dream?" "I love to die and level up." "Harvey D. Godlove will never face consequences!" Chili, more like, Killi "Virginia, listen to me. I need..." "Yeah?" "authentic homestyle southern cooking." "We'll fill you in on the road." "The restaurant was made of dust and we killed three assassins." "Nevermind, I guess that covers it."

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Eidolon Rock Episode 3

"Meanwhile, Chili pissed all over Chris's apartment," "I can't wait to get boned in today's session." I get it "That's funny because bones." "I am skipping town, not related to the whole thing yesterday," I'm pretty sure some safes do have keys, there's all kinds of safes "Harvey's just gonna reach into his shopping bag, and he's gonna pull out a little bottle of Sunny D." "The vibes in this car are awful." "A woman who is not wearing a helmet, just sunglasses-" "Fuck she's cool." "She is not in like, an elegant evening gown, she's in like, jeans and a leather jacket." "Damn she's cool." oh so these are all titles from The Killers songs, I should probably listen to some The Killers, they're pretty good from the songs that I have heard "Chris only listens to chiptunes and chiptune remixes." "Okay, so I could cloak the car into a bicycle." "I guess we can call the things eidolons too, in keeping with the rulebook and general theming." "No you're right, she is cool as hell." "I TOLD you!" "Well I'm kinda already in danger, aren't I?" "Well sure, but I can always give you more danger." "Y'all are marking XP for all this, right? Cause you're failing a lot." "Ah, that's snake eyes." "Oh my God, she's so cool." "Hopefully this works. That's snake eyes." "If only someone here had the power to make people believe things. It's a shame that there's no powers like that around, though." "I always intended to get blown up." now this is truly jojo "There was a small lighter-shaped slot in the front of the motorcycle that the lighter popped out of." "Fuck she was SO COOL!" "I'm calling in Mr. Brightside." fuck you know that's gonna be a tough one

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Eidolon Rock Episode 2

"When you think about it, we did a great job!" "I think I've been exclusively using my eidolon to convince you that I'm really really hungry and absolutely need food right away." "Good ideas about what?" "What we do next so that we don't all get shot." "I don't have any ideas for this, no." "What do you even have on your phone? No one's gonna try to steal your Bejeweled scores." "Where does Virginia live?" "Uh, in Vegas, I don't..." "Did you know there's more to the world than just eating food and mating and fighting for territory and then dying?" "Why is this cat horny?" "I promise you, if you just toss that food out, we'll be around." wait is Jack just Phil from disney's hercules the fonz pinball "I think Harvey's just gonna sit down at the booth, and eat these cold, nasty fries, by himself." "If you are paying close attention, you might notice that some of the damage numbers don't make much sense" I will not be paying close attention, much less doing math "I did some homebrewing on my roomba." homebroomba "Gosh, what would I name a roomba? What if I just named it Sephiroth?" hell yeah "Chili, I think you do smell fresh bones." don't think I've ever heard the phrase 'fresh bones' before, and I don't care for it "there is a skeleton leg, and sort of balanced on top of it is a skeleton arm, holding a gun pointed at you." "I was gonna say, what's the name of the opening area in Metroid, but who fucking cares." "I don't think it matters." "Crateria." "You're just making great time on this Metroid run." "I'm fighting Kraid." "I'm going to intimidate this spine." "This is what the old man always liked to call a 'skill shot,' because that is commonly accepted parlance, for when you hit a particular area when you launch your ball." "It would probably be a dumb idea to use the roomba, but also, I kind of want to use the roomba." "I look down at my roomba and say, that's the power of an ex-SOLDIER." "I rolled an 8, fuck me up." "Also, worst comes to worst, we can always have the roomba suck up some of the drugs. And then we have another party member!" "What's the line between a slightly enhanced robot vacuum and true artificial intelligence, really?" "You can just feel that they've like, like gone inert." the bones are inert oh fuck Virginia's got a the world ends with you counter on her "Whole milk's good for your bones."

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Eidolon Rock Episode 1

"Since the deregulations of the Dracula administration of 2005," okay so that's canon in both of them that's good "I made Dracula president." "No, Luke, it was a vote. We the people made Dracula president." "Long live President Dracula." "Live might not be the right word." "We could go beat up a guy." "I mean it'd be nice!" "Wikihow, how to hack an ATM" "I have left my PSP in the car." "There actually is a hot dog, but it's rotten and smells terrible, it's been here way too long." "Alright, I take like a tentative lick at it, and then back up." "There are three doors. Actually, there's four." "Okay, wow. So one of them is the one we came through?" "Okay, five." "Is he looking at us?" "Not at the moment." "Alright, well then we're all good." "The Phantom Clock is going to now be at 2, you guys don't even have Eidolons yet" "Do you have the uh, password?" "Yeah, of course we have the password." "Okay, go on." "You tell me what the password is, Molly." "Gobstopper." "They're rollin' in the dough and then makin' spaghetti out of it!" "Do you not know how elevators work?" "No! I don't!" I'm also feeling that way "Y'all makin' drugs down here?" "I mean, the fox is really its own person, it's not really 'ours,' per se." "This motherfucker probably did these drugs, got superpowers from it, and now he wants to keep the drugs. You know what we gotta do: we gotta do the drugs." "I'm dying! You're going to give drugs to a dying man?" "That's what they do to save people!" "Hey! These drugs are awesome, guys!" "I'm always right! Harvey D. Godlove is always right about everything!" "You're going to jump Jack Flash?" "Hey, Jack!" "What?" "The fix is in, baby." "Yay, we did a murder!" "For some reason this woman being bored with you, like, it feels bad, in a deep way that you don't understand-" "It's cause she's a lesbian." "Also I'm bleeding profusely from my stomach." "Yeah we are both bleeding." "Well I can't help you with that. That sounds like a you problem." "We're not good people, are we?"

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Eidolon Rock Episode 0

"By the time this releases everyone will have just like, like mashed up everything in their home into like war paint to put on their faces and start like, fighting each other in the streets." that's true, we are doing that I don't have strong feelings about the distinction between these eidolon pronunciations really "The dictionary does not define my life, Luke." have you looked up the word 'life' in there? "My character is Harvey D. Godlove, and he is the pinball prince of Las Vegas." STRONG start for this character "The D stands for Danger." "As we actually build our story, the explicit JoJo references will fall by the wayside." "Alright, so far we got a real dumbass brigade going." this is sounding a lot like golden wind "I think the Pop group got all of the healing classes, so this is gonna be interesting." "It'll be great." "Did not think about team composition when assigning the playbooks." "So I am playing a fox." oh right of course "Let's say there is a guy working at a hot dog cart." "Uh huh." "And I want his hot dogs." "Right. Of course!" feel like I'm really on the same page as this character so far "Do NOT get Flowers for Algernoned." "Shoutout to the cat Chili." "You sacrificed your labor value in exchange for a paycheck." I think we all have a tie to 'a paycheck' "I'm gonna say Karl with a K." "Hell yeah!" I don't think I've heard of the spaghetti factory before "Linguini Manuel Miranda"