#eloy and bex

[eloycadena]

How Do You Do? || Bex & Eloy

TIMING: Oct. 14, Evening

PARTIES: @inbextween @eloycadena

SUMMARY: Eloy comes to town for a short visit, Bex runs into him.

CONTAINS: Emotional Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Vampire Compulsion, Murder

Eloy’s shoes clacked on the sidewalk, passing the library and staring idly at his phone as he walked to the meeting point he had discussed with a prospective colleague. The air was much crisper in Maine, colder and full of humidity that Mexico did not have. Especially at night. He was used to a drier climate, and he completely detested Metzli’s choice. Maybe that’s why they had picked it. They knew he’d taught the clan the importance of hiding in plain sight. Sun brought a sense of bliss, and bliss brought ignorance, and ignorance brought plentiful food for himself and the other clad members.

Pocketing the phone, a familiar face caught his attention. A face only seen on a screen. Bexley. Eloy smiled wickedly and he couldn’t believe his luck. Two birds with one stone. Initiate plans to torture Metzli, and leave a proper message to them.

Throat cleared, and Eloy asked a question to a very oblivious Bex. “Excuse me, where can I find a Ms. Metzli Bernal?” His voice was taunting and low, baring his fangs and looking deeply into Bex’s eyes as he covered her mouth to pull her into a dark area. The shadows concealed them and it worked in his favor. “Tengo mucha suerte hoy. How do you do, Bexley?” Her mouth was released, but Eloy loomed over her carefully, anticipating an attack from her.

Bex had accidentally stayed a little too late at the library, digging through book after book and finding no answers. And now the sun was beginning to dip below the treeline and that meant it was getting dark, and Bex couldn’t very well stay out past dark if she wasn’t letting Mina do that. It’d be awfully hypocritical of her. She stacked up her books and shoved them into her bookbag and scrambled for the door, thanking the lady at the front desk as she ran out the doors. If she hurried, she could get home in time to not make anyone worry, and she really was over people worrying about her just because she came home a few minutes late.

Her skirt caught on the door and she groaned, because of course that would happen right now. She turned around to tug the fabric off of the piece of stray metal that was poking out of the inside of the door, clearly a broken bit that hadn’t been fixed. Maybe the library could use a nice donation for a new front door. She didn’t even notice the figure sauntering towards her until his hand was over her mouth and she was being tugged into the alley and-- this had happened before, hadn’t it? This had happened before. She clawed at the arm that was holding her, it wasn’t possible, Frank couldn’t be alive, it couldn’t be--

It wasn’t. Her back hit the wall and above her towered a man she’d never seen before. She didn’t need to recognize him, though, to know who he was. Instinctually, a wall of violet rose between them, flickering magic. Her heart was pounding, but she couldn’t let him see her fear. She wouldn’t let him. “You know, you could just ask to talk,” she finally managed to say, “dragging people into dark alleys could give them the wrong idea.”

Bex’s heart thumped rapidly and harshly in Eloy’s ears, making him smile even wider. The taunting, the fear, the pain, it was all a part of the fun. Fear and the way it affected the body always made his skin crawl with excitement. He already knew she would be fun based on her online responses alone. But now that he had her right in his grasp, he could see how much fun he could truly have with her. “No, I’m giving you the exact right idea. I want you to be scared, Bexley. I want Metzli to be scared.” A humming emanated from the flickering magic, and the glow enticed him. This was new for him. He’d heard of witches, of spellcasters, but so rarely had to deal with them personally. “Your brujeria isn’t really worth much here.”

Mist enveloped the two and Eloy disappeared as the air grew thicker. Air collected together right next to Bex, and Eloy manifested closely to her. A hand wrapped around her throat while the other grabbed one of her arms. His grip threatened to break it, but he refrained from doing any real damage yet. “What should I do to you first? How should I break my little toy?” His face was dangerously close to Bex’s cheek, whispering into her ear, letting stubble graze her skin. “I can hear your fear.”

Eloy couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled back to look at her a little more clearly. Pupils contracted as her heartbeat grew louder in his ears. He thought of how fun it would be to pierce her skin. For one reason or another, she mattered to Metzli. Even after years of proper discipline, the idiot went and built connections and made themselves weaker. “Aren’t you just so happy to meet Metzli’s master?”

If he wanted her to be scared, then she wouldn’t be scared. Bex couldn’t control her heartbeat anymore, but she could steel her expression and make sure he didn’t get the pleasure of seeing that on her face. Even if she was afraid. She could feel her magic boiling beneath her skin, screaming to be let out, to protect her, to fight back. But she couldn’t show her hand just yet, she needed to know what he was capable of first. Nell had already told her mental magic couldn’t affect the undead, so all Bex was left with were the physical spells Sai had taught her, and the wild magic that so often erupted from her. Doing that would draw attention, though. She wasn’t sure that was the best idea.

But she didn’t have much time to consider any options before the vampire disappeared into a cloud of mist and she found her breath catching in the thick air. She stiffened as a hand tightened around her throat, her wrist. Her skin was buzzing, pulling defensive magic to the surface, ready to strike. She glared into his eyes and set her expression in stone, frowning. “Sorry, that’s not fear, it’s just my heart condition. Easy mistake to make, though, I understand. When you spend most of your time hiding behind other people, it’s hard to tell the difference between real life things.”

She hated the feel of his cold hand and bristes of stubble and fought the instinct to jerk away, simply turning her head away from his gaze. “Happy isn’t the word I’d use,” she growled. “And I’m not your toy. That makes you sound like a creep, but I guess I can’t expect much more from the guy who sends groupies to take pictures of people through their windows. Didn’t your mother teach you peeping is wrong?”

“¿No te da verguenza hablar así?” A thick accent, with layers of life and history was attached to every word. It was an accent that most people in Mexico could recognize and would immediately know that Eloy was from Jalisco. It was an accent Metzli had, but theirs was much more diluted. “Oh, I apologize. I should translate.” The grip around Bex’s throat tightened, “Are you not ashamed to speak in such a way? All this bravado, and for what? Reckless puta.” Teeth were gritting and fangs throbbed. He could send the message now. Drain her completely and destroy them instantly. But there was no fun in that. Instead, he raised Bex’s wrist to his face. He could feel her resistance, but it didn’t matter much to a three hundred year old vampire.

A smile formed slowly once again, enjoying the way Bex tried to pretend she wasn’t scared and ignoring her snide comments. He’d lived long enough to know an act when he saw one. “No, you aren’t my toy. But Metzli is. I really love playing with their pain. You ever wanted to see them chained up and starved? That’s just the first part of the fun.” Eloy taunted Bex with his plans, knowing how her anger fueled the buzzing of energy he felt underneath his fingertips. It was just waiting to burst. “Oh, well look at that. You’ve already been bitten. Was this Metzli’s doing? Forced or offered? And I see you have another on your neck.” Excitement brewed in his voice and he had to choke back a laugh.

“Do you think Metzli would come to me if I left you as a bloody mess at their door? I always did have a way of making them break with just a look. Imagine what I could do with some leverage.”

Bex tried to pull her wrist back, but his grip was too strong. Right, superstrength. Everyone and their fucking mom around here had superstrength. Even Nell had a spell for superstrength. Bex just had useless, incorporeal magic. No...no that wasn’t all she had. She grit her teeth, scowling at him. She knew he could kill her so easily if he wanted, but he wouldn’t. Not this early. She knew this kind of person, it was the kind of person her mother had been. He wanted to savor her pain, Metzli’s pain. It was just about how much he wanted to dole out right now. Bex wasn’t about to let him do it for free, though. She’d fight. She’d told Mina she’d fight. Actually, she’d told Mina she’d be careful, and she had been careful, really, it wasn’t her fault he’d happened to find her. Unless he’d been looking for her and she’d been oblivious and led him right to her.

She couldn’t think about that right now. “I spent a long time feeling ashamed,” she growled through the hand on her throat, voice strained against the tightening grip, “you don’t make me feel anything close.”

She didn’t need to respond to his taunts. He was clearly trying to rile her up, get some sort of emotional reaction out of her. And, maybe, now was the time to get emotional. It was time to let it all go. She felt her breathing increasing, heart pumping, as she let the anger she felt at him rise to the surface. Magic bubbled inside of her and seeped from her skin and she pulled on the anger she felt at Roy, at the theater, and the anger she felt at her mother, for everything she’d done, and the anger she felt now, towards this man who thought people were possessions and if she tried really hard, she could see her father standing there.

And Bex cried out as she let her magic manifest in a physical wave, shoving the two of them apart like an explosion. Her back hit the brick wall, and so did her head. Stars in her eyes, she fell over onto the trash can beside her, scrambling to get away from the alley. If she could just reach the light, reach someone else-- surely he wouldn’t kill her in public, right? She just needed to run away. She was good at running.

A wave of deadly lilac light burst between the two, sending not only Bex back, but Eloy too. He groaned, frustrated and annoyed with her sudden act for reprieve. “Pinche bruja.” He muttered, stumbling to his feet and lunging after Bex. Hands clasped onto ankles, causing her to trip and fall. With a smile, he dragged her back and didn’t care how hard she fought. This altercation was getting fun, and he wanted to savor it. “That was a neat trick, chulita. But you’re gonna need to do a lot more than th—” Sentence was cut off, words right at the tip of his tongue as a stranger made an appearance at the end of the alleyway. On pure instinct, Eloy grabbed Bex and covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming.

“Hello? Is everything okay?” The man asked, sounding genuinely concerned for whoever was in the darkness. Eloy smiled widely and continued to hold Bex still as he called out, his voice taking on Bex’s, “I’m really hurt. A guy, h-he attacked me. I can’t move.” The voices were nearly indistinguishable, even taking on a fearful tremor. Footsteps grew rapidly closer and Eloy brought the two of them to standing as the would-be hero ran towards them. But before he could register the vampire holding Bex hostage, a hand gripped his face and slammed it into the brick wall.

“Pobrecito, he never stood a chance.” Eloy mocked and laughed at the bloody mess he created. “And it’s all your fault too. You just had to make a scene. Look what you’ve done.” Lips grew increasingly close to Bex’s neck, opening to let fangs graze her shoulder.

Hands grabbed her ankles and Bex toppled to the ground, arms scraping against pavement. That would hurt in the morning. If she made it to morning. Eloy began dragging her back and she clawed at the ground, not caring how bloody her hands became as she grappled for anything to grab onto, anything to get away from him with. She grabbed whatever her hands found-- old cans, stones, empty food boxes-- but it didn’t stop him. It wouldn’t stop him. She tried to build her magic up again, but it was fizzling beneath her fingertips as her heart pounded out of control. If he didn’t kill her, her heart just might. She kicked out at him, just like she’d kicked out at Frank. The alley was turning into a cold, dark forest before her eyes. Cement turning to mud. She begged her mind to stay in the present, but it was dissolving quickly.

She felt the hand over her mouth, just like Frank had done. She heard the unfamiliar voice calling out, just like Nell and Mina had. And then she heard her own voice, even though she knew she wasn’t speaking. A shadowed figure was coming towards them. It was a man, but Bex only saw Nell. Get back! She wanted to shout, but found she couldn’t, her voice lost. It felt as if he’d stolen it from her. Please no!

She heard the crack of a skull against brick and flinched. She clawed at the hand on her mouth, desperate to try and get air, tears streaking unwantedly down her face. She was staring wide-eyed at the slumped body, bleeding against the forest floor, trying to tell herself it wasn’t Nell, it’s wasn’t Nell, it wasn’t Nell, that she didn’t even notice fangs near her neck until they were already piercing her skin.

Teeth sank in for a moment, not too deep, just enough to make blood pool at the small piercings. Eloy only savored what little sustenance that gathered on her shoulder for a few seconds before he pushed her into a wall. It took so much of his willpower to not bite again. Bex’s blood had just tasted so good. Even better than he could’ve imagined, especially while knowing how much it would kill Metzli. He looked forward to those photos, to their pain being etched in a digital memory for him to keep and laugh at.

Eloy forced Bex to look him in the face, meeting her eyes with his. There was a crazed look to them. His pupils were so small, like a predator staring at his prey. And that’s what she was, ultimately, but right now, she had to be a message.

Pulling Bex into a trance of submission, he felt her face relax and watched as her eyes went blank. “You’re going to walk home, and you’re going to let me join you. And then when we get there, you’re not going to scream. You’re going to stand at your door until someone finds you. Now, let’s go.” Eloy pulled Bex harshly by her elbow and motioned her to the alley’s exit. He was extremely proud of what he’d been able to do, even relishing in the way the man’s heartbeat began to slow into nothing.

Bex cried out when teeth sunk in, snapping back to reality. The forest fell away and she was in an alley and there were arms around her and teeth in her neck and blood pooling out. And her heart was beating too fast and she couldn’t breath and she was panicking. She knew she was panicking. She squirmed and writhed, but to no avail. Heavy hands pushed her into the wall and her head lulled to the side. Blood pooled from the wound and dripped down her neck to her collar bone, gathering where the collar of her shirt began, staining it. She could see the look in his eyes, how he wanted more. She was worried he would take more. She didn’t want to die.

Weak hands reached up to try and push him away, even her magic failing her. A hand forced her head back up, to look him in the eyes. She didn’t even have time to process what was happening before her body went slack and all she could do was stare, breath shuddering.

When he yanked her, she followed. She had no choice. Her body moved even as her mind screamed. Even as her body ached. Legs kept moving as she marched all the way to East End, through the winding neighborhood, and right up to the front door, with its black polish and decorative skull hanging on the outside. They’d all spent an afternoon together, decorating for Samhain, and now Bex was staring the deer skull she’d crowned in the eyes.

And that was all she could do. Even as blood continued to seep slowly from her wound and the muscles in her legs were screaming to sit down and her heart was beating much too fast, she thought it might just explode.

It was dark now. Her eyes were drooping. Eloy had long since left. She wanted to knock, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry.

But she stayed standing, and wondered when someone would finally open the front door.

[nelllraiser]

@deathisanartmetzli

[pm] I stabbed him multiple times with a stake and then he turned to dust. So yeah. He’s dead.

Bex got a jet to me and flew me back home. She nursed me back to health too. Couldn’t get up for a few days since Eloy had his fun.

I know. I was pulled out. Not your fault. I’m just glad you got out okay. Between the two of us, your life mattered more anyway.

[pm] What about all his followers? Do they need to be taken care of?

Good though. I’m glad he’s dead. 

To be honest I...figured he was doing whatever sadistic shit he did with you. Bex thought you were dead, but I know men like him. I was hoping his pride would buy me the time to get back there, but it looks like you made your own escape. Sorry you had to go through it again, though. 

I mean I was going to come back again, and get you. But you beat me lol

And don’t pull that measuring one life against another shit, we don’t need to have broody vampire hours. Maybe look into some self worth classes or whatever

[deathisanartmetzli]

Hyperfixations || Bex & Metzli

TIMING: Last Night

PARTIES: @inbextween​ @deathisanartmetzli​

SUMMARY: Bex helps Metzli get a Spawn tooth, and as always, things go wrong.

WARNINGS: Blood, Parental Death Mention, Memory Loss

The night was cold, the breeze a small whisper in comparison to the chirping crickets. With each step Metzli took towards a tree, there was only a soft and subtle crunch. The fog made everything have more give, pliable. But the fog wasn’t the only thing in the air. There was blood too. It came from multiple directions, six to be exact. They had made trails of it with a few blood bags to draw a spawn’s attention, but they had had no luck the past few nights, and they really hated wasting blood. Nothing mattered more than their soul, though. They’d spend as many blood bags as needed if it meant they got the spawn’s teeth, if it meant they got their soul back.

“Goddammit.” Metzli muttered harshly under their breath and gripped the branch of the tree they sat in. It felt so hopeless, and they were so tired of being hopeless. All they wanted was their soul so that they could be a proper person, and not this monster Eloy and their parents had created. Tears began to fall down their face, darkening the spots on their hoodie where they fell. They weren’t going to stop trying, but god, they wanted to when things got like this. Like there was no hope. Before their thoughts could continue about the first step not even being completed, they perked up at the sound of steps.

Excited, they leapt down without thinking to surprise the spawn. Something didn’t feel right, though. The steps were calm, calculated. Exactly the opposite of how a spawn would behave. They landed with a soft thud and hissed instinctively at whatever was in front of them.

Technically this was Bex’s second tracking spell, but with how badly the first one had gone over, she was willing to pretend it wasn’t a thing and say this was her first. She was excited to try it, too. And lucky, that she still had Metzli’s hoodie from when they’d let her wear one after her clothes got ruined by the Bies. She had everything set up eagerly on her desk, Ru looking on eagerly from her shoulder. She blew the dust onto the hoodie, chanted the words, and waited for a moment. It seemed like nothing was happening at first and Bex could already feel the disappointment building, when suddenly an orb of light shot up from the hoodie and dust and started traveling out the door. Hurriedly, Bex grabbed her jacket and Ru and followed after it, simply excited it had worked at all.

There wasn’t much time for celebration, the little light was zooming away. It led her down a path and towards the treeline, dissipating as she got closer, which meant Metzli was around here somewhere. She slowed to a walk, reaching up to pat Ru on the head and hold her in her arms instead of on her shoulder. “Where do you think they are, huh?” she asked.

But she was answered pretty quickly, as something landed with a heavy thud in front of her and Bex yelped, leaping backwards as they hissed. Ru hissed back in turn, claws coming out, and Bex stumbled on a branch, falling backwards to the ground. When she blinked, looking up, though, all she saw was Metzli. “Geez, Metzli!” she said in exasperation. “You almost gave me a heart attack.” She paused. “N-not actually! I guess I can’t use that saying anymore, can I?”

When Bex yelped and subsequently stumbled back, Metzli grimaced at the scene knowing they had greatly miscalculated. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” Frustration washed over them the second their friend spoke. Of course she had found them. What else could they possibly expect from a woman who knew danger like that pesky cousin you can never get rid of at gatherings? “No, you can’t say that! You—oh fuck,” they could see the familiar preparing for an attack, rightfully so. Her duty was to Bex, to protect her by any means necessary. Even biting or scratching away at a friend. “Ru, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt her, don’t worry. I just thought she was something else.” A scowl was shot at her and they rolled their eyes before reaching out cautiously and helping Bex back on her feet.

A little calmer now and with their hair not standing on end, Metzli looked softly at Bex and huffed. They couldn’t be too upset with her, not when she was trying to be a good friend. It just really sucked that being a good friend sometimes meant putting oneself in danger in their world. “How in the shit did you find me anyway?” Their voice was no longer grating, but full of genuine curiosity. White Crest had a few cemeteries and they knew better than to think of all people, that Bex took a wild guess. While she was street dumb, she was pretty book smart.

“Wow, okay, you don’t have to yell,” Bex grumbled, and she could’ve calmed Ru right away, but she let her hiss just a little bit longer before patting the ferret’s head to calm her down. “It’s fine, Ru, it’s just our big, stinky vampire friend being weird.” The yokai chittered and retracted her claws, retreating to her spot back on Bex’s shoulder as Metzli helped Bex stand back up, and she leaned over to brush off her pants, before looking back over at Metzli. “Why were you up in a tree, anyway? Are you employing guerilla warfare tactics on spawn now?”

At the questions, Bex actually perked up excitedly. “I did a tracking spell! I still have that hoodie you let me borrow, back when I showed up after the whole bies incident. That’s all you need for a tracking spell. I was surprised it worked, but I like to think I’m getting better,” she grinned. “But, oh!” She fumbled around for a moment. “Don’t worry, I came prepared!” And she pulled out a stake from her back pocket. “Morgan got me one after the Eloy incident. Supposedly it’s made of unbreakable wood.”

“I’m not stinky,” Metzli bit back and flipped Bex off. “Why wouldn’t I yell, idiot? I’m waiting for a spawn and I almost attacked you. Don’t you know that you shouldn’t sneak up on me by now?” They sighed and rubbed their face in frustration. Seeing Bex was always great, she was their best friend, but now they had to be extra cautious. If they had stayed alone, it would’ve been much easier. Spawns were erratic and dangerous in a way that was extremely deadly for someone with blood pumping in their veins. Especially for someone with not only a heart condition, but an innate proclivity for bleeding. A lot. “I was watching from a vantage point,” they finally answered, petting Ru passively and looking at their friend.

With their frustrations fleeting, a smile was able to curve the corner of their mouth at how proud Bex was with herself. Metzli knew how frustrated she could get with her magic, and it was honestly nice to see her win one even if it was at their expense. “That’s actually impressive. Nice work…dummy.” Lightly, they pushed her shoulder and chuckled with a roll of their eyes when she displayed her stake to them. “Watch it! Those things are deadly.” They mocked offense, as if she was threatening them with it. “Since you’re here, you’ll need this too.” Taking a bottle from their pocket, they handed it over to Bex. There was another in their other pocket, so they had no issue giving one away. They wanted to keep their friend safe since they knew there was no convincing her to leave. “Holy water. Just don’t get it on me. That shit burns.”

“You are stinky, actually,” Bex said, folding her arms across her chest. “And I thought it was like, impossible to sneak up on you. Can’t you like, hear me or smell me?” She didn’t really know how it worked, but she hadn’t expected Metzli to be in a tree, either. “A vantage point? Why would you need one of those? I figured you’re strong enough to just take a spawn straight up, right? Nell can, I’ve seen it before. And so could Morgan. She actually took down a reanimated corpse once. It was trying to eat me. We were actually dress shopping for the first time, because I needed a sundress for over my bathing suit, because I was–” she paused, a headache coming on suddenly, as she tried to recall why, exactly, she’d needed a bathing suit. It was for something important.

Bex grabbed at her head and rubbed her palm into her eye as the headache splintered from her temple to her jaw, before it faded slowly. Ru gave a concerned squeak but Bex shook it off. “Sorry, just a headache. Been getting a few of those lately. And I’m not a dummy, you’re the dummy, dummy.” She took the holy water Metzli handed her and shook the vial a little. “Well, here’s to hoping I don’t actually have to use either of these. I’ve been practicing my barrier spells, and with Ru, they’re more stable and strong.”

“Ever heard of hyperfixating? Normally I’d be able to tell, but I guess I’ve just been really focused and jumped on any sound I heard.” Metzli shrugged and put their hands on their hips at how Bex kept poking at their plan. “Look, surprise attacks are good for a quick takedown. I was using the blood as a lure so I could sweep down, rip off their head, and then rip out the tooth. Do you have to—” Bex was grimacing in pain and they searched around for the source. But it was internal, and all they could do was kneel down and place a concerned hand on her shoulder. “You good?” Ru moved to her other shoulder, where their hand was, and they smiled at how her familiar truly cared. Both of them called down as soon as she stood up, stable and full of attitude.

Metzli rolled their eyes and shoved Bex playfully, “Well it’s a good thing Ru is here then. I think she’s stronger than both of us combined.” They chuckled at their joke, finding it funnier than they should have. With how wrong everything was going, it was nice to find some normalcy. It was just a small shard, but it was enough to fill the hole of worry in the chest with hope. “And I trust you, don’t worry. I know you’ve been working hard.” They smiled softly at Bex and gestured for her to follow. There was erratic movement sounding off just a few yards ahead from where they stood. “I think I hear something. Smells dead.”

“Yes, I have, thank you very much. My therapist says people with ADHD hyperfocus on things, which makes a lot of sense for me. I hyperfocus a lot. She gave me a bunch of exercises to help with it, though, if you wanna try them,” Bex rambled, nodding to herself and looking to Metzli for something along the lines of approval. She wasn’t sure when she’d started feeling it, but she found she looked to them as some sort of older sibling. They were messy and they had a lot to work on, but they tried their best to be good to Bex and she knew they’d do whatever they could for her. And that felt like family. Like Milo.

“Oh, I have no doubt she’s stronger than both of us combined. Have you seen her claws?” She beamed again, proud of her little familiar. Ru chittered triumphantly as she crawled back into the hood of Bex’s jacket and curled up. She was about to answer again when Metzli paused, pointing out that there was a noise up ahead. Of course Bex couldn’t hear it, but she trusted Metzli’s instincts, stepping behind them and squinting into the darkness. “Is it a spawn?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course you have. Even without the therapist, I’m sure you’d be able to tell me all about it.” An amused grin revealed their sharp fangs, and it reached their eyes. Though Bex had inserted herself into a dangerous situation much to their chagrin, it was nice to see her. It always was. The two could rely on each other in a way that they never had before, and neither of them would let the other trek alone if they could help it. “Sure, I’ll try them. Not sure if I have ADHD, but it has been really hard to focus lately. Maybe it’ll still help with my bullshit.” Metzli shifted their weight from one foot to the other, looking at the ground, and then at a chittering Ru, wanting to veer the spotlight back to Bex. “I guess therapy is going well?” They moved toward the sudden sound and the smell of death, being mindful to whisper. The air bit into their nose and hands, but it wasn’t like they actually minded the cold, it barely affected them. Sometimes it was just nice to feel a little human.

“Not sure if it’s a spawn or not. The movement stopped. I smell blood and a heartbeat is fading. It’s small. Maybe it just killed something.” The air was completely still and filled with the scent of blood. A discomforting tightness tugged at Metzli’s throat, forcing them to clear it. Control was still easy, but the discomfort would never go away. “Stay here.” Something was eating and it was covered in death. Before Bex could respond, they bounded forward, tackling an animal that yelped. A coyote. They groaned in defeat and let it run off in fear as they stayed sitting on the ground, watching it with a pout. “False alarm…again. Fuck. I’m off my game.”

“Well, I mean, maybe not all about it. But quite a bit, yeah. I’ve been reading a book on psychology, finally. It was kind of a topic I ignored before, cause, well– you know. Hashtag trauma.” Bex smiled back at Metzli, wide and proud, and she couldn’t help but feel like things had been going really well lately. Sometimes, when she thought about it too hard, she got another headache, but maybe that was just life telling her to not think so hard about finally being given something good. Something nice. Life was finally looking up. Or something like that. “Ooh, okay! So, exercise number one– mindfulness. It’s, like, asking yourself questions about how you’re feeling in the present moment to keep yourself aware.” She followed along after Metzli even though they said to stay, peeking over their shoulder as they watched the bushes rustle and move about. Ru wasn’t chittering or hissing, though, so Bex wasn’t too worried. She trusted Metzli, but she sort of trusted Ru’s senses more. She hadn’t led her wrong yet.

As Metzli flopped to the ground, pouting, Bex came up next to them and sat down as well. “Exercise number two,” she continued, picking up Ru from her hood and setting her on the ground between them. The little yokai stretched before she began rolling around in the leaves and dirt happily. “Identify the things you tend to hyperfocus on and make a list of them. Never start a hyperfocus near bedtime and if you know you need to do said activity, set timers. Getting up and moving also helps keep the mind from hyperfocusing too hard.” She glanced around them, at the relatively peaceful feeling forest, before she looked back to Metzli. But when she noticed that Ru had paused and had her haunches raised, Bex immediately leapt up. “Something’s coming.”

Metzli was so enraptured with the possibility of a spawn, that it was only when Bex continued her mini lesson that they looked at her with a bemused expression. Everything she had said finally registered, and they narrowed their eyes at her. “First of all, hashtag? Really? Second, I don’t go to bed. And third, what do you call this? I’m up and moving. Have been all night.” With a grumble, they pulled their knees to their chest and let their head fall. They knew, deep down, Bex was just trying to help and her information was in fact true. It just felt like defeat if they admitted it was their fault for not being able to do a simple thing for themselves. But the true defeat was getting lost in their own bullshit, so they sighed and looked at Bex with a weak smile that quickly fell to a somber one. “I guess…I am hyperfocusing on all things soul related. It’s making me weak. I mean, I got my ass beat by a slayer the other day, and he left me in the snow. I can usually kill those fuckers no problem. Or at least…” They smiled awkwardly at Bex, “Now I take them out of commission for a bit.”

Ru was rustling about, even brushing a bit on Metzli’s leg as she did. A smile tugged as they watched her relax into the dirt, only to have it abruptly end as she went into high alert. Bex was up at the same time as them, facing the direction of overwhelming death. “Yeah, something is coming.” They swallowed thickly, closing their eyes and letting their senses take over properly this time. “Get your magic ready. We’ll use your barrier and after it steps back from its attack, you let it down and I strike. Got that, dummy?” Eyes looked hopeful now, amused even, as they looked at Bex for confirmation. As much as she might seem to struggle with her magic, she was getting better, and they trusted her completely.

Bex rolled her eyes. “Yes, hashtag. I’m gen z, what do you expect? I unironically ironically say things like hashtag and mood.” She stuck her tongue out at them, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t think it’s making you weak, I think it’s making you lose focus. Like, you’re concentrating so hard you’re losing your concentration. You know?”

Bex stayed behind Metzli as they stood up, and she gazed around to try and place where the creature was. She couldn’t see, though, and she couldn’t hear much either. What she would’ve given to have any sort of super something. She’d even exchange magic for it, really. But Now wasn’t the time to think about that. She nodded quickly and called Ru over, letting her climb back up her arm to her shoulder. She let her magic flow into her hands, concentrating and trying not to think about the fact that a rabid, starving spawn was just up ahead. She needed to stay calm. With Ru’s energy next to her, the lilac magic flowed easily from her hands and formed a barrier in front of them. “Just say when,” she said back to them, “dummy.”

It felt natural to taunt each other, call each other names like juveniles. Metzli couldn’t help the grin that formed as they walked towards danger and managed to continue to joke. Having Bex next to them made them feel confident and strong, and like they were never alone. Family had a way of doing that to a person, they supposed. “Damn, Bex. This is solid as hell.” They looked all over the barrier, thoroughly impressed with her progress. “I’m…proud of you. Just so you know.” And it was true. Bex had obviously been practicing and trying hard, the evidence manifesting in front of them powerfully.

Attention was snapped from the barrier, something like heavy footfalls onto wet earth and snow. Metzli walked in a crouch, growling deep in their chest as they watched, at fucking last, a spawn broke through the trees, screeching and smashing its whole body against the lilac barrier. They didn’t flinch, they didn’t move, watching carefully for an opening. Frustrated at the wall between it and its meal, the spawn screeched and took a few steps back to ready itself for a pounce. “Now!” They commanded, bounding forward the second the barrier was lowered.

Metzli tackled the creature, the two fighting for dominance in a fight that would only end in death. Legs wrapped around the spawns neck, making it flail about, trying to get Metzli off of it. Leaning back, they caused the two to fall to the ground where they pried the mouth open and reached in to rip out a tooth. Their hold was firm and unbreakable, pulling and pulling as the spawn screeched in pain. A few teeth broke free, and Metzli smiled in victory. That was, until the ugly thing got a firm grip and flung them off. Their back hit the tree with a gut-wrenching crack and it went for Bex right after.

Bex only had a moment to let that warm, flooding feeling inside of her linger at the words, before the sound of heavy footfalls alerted her to the fact that they were, in fact, hunting a monster. She kept her concentration up as much as she could, letting the comfort of Ru on her shoulder keep her steady. She waited for Metzli’s go ahead, watching the spawn run straight for them, colliding with her barrier. It held tight but Bex winced, flinching back a little, the sound of it still in her ears. Ru’s hackles raised and she hissed angrily, claws already coming out, but she stayed on Bex’s shoulder, knowing her witch could keep hold, even as her arms shook a little.

Metzli gave the command, and Bex let the barrier drop. Ru gave a screech as well, preparing to launch herself, but Metzli tackled the creature and was wrestling with it on the ground. Bex took a few steps back, hands up, ready to use magic if need be. But Metzli seemed to be doing a fine job, even managing to snag a tooth, and Bex relaxed a moment.

That was the mistake. In the next second, Metzli was being thrown against a tree, slumping down it in a heap. “Metzli!” Bex cried out, turning to run in their direction, but Ru had other plans– she’d noticed the spawn’s attention turning to Bex, and leapt from the witch’s shoulder to meet it halfway between them. “Ru!” Bex stumbled in her spot, watching as the small yokai tore and ripped at the undead fiend with scythe-like claws, her screeches echoing in the woods. But the spawn was bigger, and with its bloodlust came a strength that far outmatched a magic weasel’s. It swiped a claw across its face where Ru was digging claws into its eyes and she went flying off, into a bush. Bex cried out for her, torn between going to the half conscious vampire, or the sounds of her familiar’s pained cries.

She didn’t get time to decide. The spawn was on top of her in seconds. Bex pressed fingers into its eyes, feeling sluggish blood run down her hands, but it didn’t care. Teeth tore at her arms until she was forced to let go, claws digging into her stomach, holding her down. She cried out and tried to concentrate enough to pull magic back to her hands, but the blood coating them made her mind pause, only for a moment, as she flashed back to her home, to her mother’s head between her hands, to the blood that had poured from ears and forever stained Bex’s hands.

In the next moment, teeth ripped into Bex’s neck and tore at the skin and her scream filled the echoless night.

Metzli struggled to get up, feeling like something in their back was extremely out of place. They watched in horror as Ru was thrown into the bushes and crying out in pain. Legs refused to move and they began to army crawl towards Bex as she struggled. “Bex!” It was a weak cry, a plea for their body to cooperate and get to their friend. Continuing to crawl, they had only made it a few feet when the spawn bit down, forcing a gut wrenching scream to pierce the air. “Fuck! Fuck!” Bex’s blood permeated in the air, forcing out a growl from the vampire and motivating them further.

Control was waning, and Metzli wanted the blood almost as much as the spawn. But they loved her, they really, really loved her. With their mind and their relentless resolve, they could manage. They had to. “Get off of her!” Ignoring all pain, they launched themselves towards the two, gripping the spawn’s jowls and forcing them open. Their spine was screaming, but the adrenaline and energy from their bloodlust kept them from faltering. They pulled the jaws apart, ripping the head completely in two.

“Bex…I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Metzli attempted to soothe, pressing their shaking palm to her neck. “Please be okay. Please.” A shooting pain raptured their spine, making their last word come out in a small shriek. The pain was overwhelming and their throat was so constricted that words were too difficult to say properly.

Bex screamed and kicked and writhed but she couldn’t do anything. Her magic pried at the air, but an undead being with no thoughts except primal instincts weren’t affected by magic that tried to pull at their minds. The pain was splintering up her neck and down her chest and she was crying, kicking, slapping at the spawn, trying to get it to let go. She called out for help, for Ru, for Metzli, for Morgan. For Mina. She didn’t know why she cried out for Mina. She wasn’t really paying attention to who she was screaming for. She just needed someone. She needed someone to save her.

The vice grip on her neck loosened and then disappeared, but the pain did not. Hot blood poured from the mouth sized tear in her neck, even as a cold hand pressed to the wound. She sputtered and tasted iron in the back of her throat and blinked through the dizzying stars that were forming in her eyes. She could see how much pain Metzli was in, she knew what they had to do. Bex took in enough of a breath, turning her head enough to look Metzli in the eyes. “Y-You have to,” she choked, “take some b-blood. P-please.” She needed to find Ru. She needed to get out of here. She wished she hadn’t come. Why did she keep doing these things? Putting herself in danger? Why did she feel like she had to? Like she owed it to them? This always happened. This always happened. She wished she was different. She wished she could change. “I won’t m-make it if you can’t get us out of h-here.”

Their head shook vehemently, not daring to entertain the idea. “No,” Metzli croaked, fighting every urge to bite into Bex. Her blood smelled so appetizing, so mouthwateringly good. “I’ve got you. You’ll b-be okay. I-I promise. Keep your hand here. I’m g-getting R…Ru.” They moved her hand to her neck, helping her press down. Feeling was fleeing from their legs again, but they forced their legs to move, heading to the small yokai. She was still chittering sadly, and whining as she nudged her way to them. They knelt down and scooped her up carefully, screaming as they stood upright again. Their mind begged them to stop moving, but their love for Bex propelled them forward.

Ru crawled onto her chest and tried her best to pat and lick away at what wounds she could. “I’m going to pick you up, and we’re going to the hospital, okay?” Metzli screamed as they lifted Bex from the ground, feeling another crack down their spine. The sharp pain shot into their throat, forcing a snap of their teeth. Her blood was intoxicating and their hunger ate away at their dwindling resolution. Looking at their friend, they could see how much pain she was in, and that aided them in not biting her. “Keep talking to me. Don’t pass out. Not yet.”

Bex felt her own hot, blood under her palm as Metzli moved it to press down on the wound. She whined as pain splintered from it again, but she kept her hand in place, trying her best to quell the bleeding. Why did she bleed so much? She hated this. She just wanted to be helpful, to be useful, to not be the damsel always in distress. She winced at the sound of Metzli in pain. “Please,” she begged quietly, even as they came back over. Ru crawled onto her chest and curled up near the wound, trying to use her fur to stop the bleeding as well. “Please, just…I kn-know you need it. You’re in p-pain.” She didn’t know what else to do. She cried out, too, when Metzli picked her up.

She curled into their chest, squeezing her neck. “I’m a-already bleeding, you don’t even have to b-bite me, please. I can h-help. Please.”

“No,” Metzli answered firmly, leaving no room to argue. “I’m not doing that. I’m not risking it. You’re too important.” They continued to trek towards the hospital, relying on their sense of smell to guide them. It helped, if only a little, to distract them from the smell of Bex’s blood. “You helped a lot, cariñita. You did. I got the tooth. Just focus on you, okay?” For someone without the ability to empathize, they appeared to portray it really well. It was all selfish, though. In the end, they just needed their best friend to be okay. They didn’t want to lose any member of their family. For just an inkling of a moment, the promise they made so many months ago to turn Bex, should she be on the brink of death, came to mind.

Metzli’s steps sped up, fighting against the pulses of white hot pain that threatened to stop them from continuing. They stumbled, fell to their knees, but they didn’t stop. Time was too important. “We’re almost there. I see it.” Pulling her closer as she curled up, they saw the lights, relaxing their shoulders as their worry subsided. They screamed, demanding for help as they leaned against a pillar. Eyes were squeezed shut, both to hide them and in reaction to their struggle. “Please save her. Please.”

It was strange, Bex thought, to have people like this. How long had she felt so alone in life? Twenty years, actually. For twenty years she’d grown up alone and isolated and in pain. And then she’d found people, and they’d pulled her up and out of the hell she’d been living in. And even today, they were still doing it. She was nothing more than a burden on all of them. She doubted she’d ever be any good to them, if this was how these things always ended up. She remembered she’d been here recently, but she couldn’t remember why. Something was wrong with her head. Every time she thought about it, her head hurt too much. Bex felt her eyes lulling closed, Metzli’s voice echoing in her ears. She was trying to focus, but she couldn’t. Her head lolled onto their shoulder, eyes closing.

When she opened her eyes again, it wasn’t Metzli carrying her anymore. It was someone else, with deep brown eyes, and long, blonde hair. She looked worried. Sunlight haloed her head, obscuring her face. Bex thought she could hear her talking. She couldn’t stay awake. Her eyes closed again.

Metzli bolted into the hospital right after Bex, compelling whatever doctors or nurses they needed along the way to get blood. Collecting a few blood bags, they hid away in a bathroom for a few minutes to eat and heal as much as they could. Their mind reeled, thinkinking of only Bex as they waited for their legs to properly heal and comply without agony.

As soon as they could, they went straight to Bex’s room and found her resting peacefully. She was patched up and stabilized, much to their relief. Metzli trudged over, struggling to contain their worry and residual ache as they sat next to her and took her hand. Ru rested by her side, breathing slowly as she slept with her witch. They weren’t going to let her be alone. Morgan would arrive, and they’d leave, but Bex didn’t have to be alone. “I’m never leaving you.” A soft mutter. “I promise.”

[drowningisinevitable-retired]

Training Grounds || Metzli & Mina

TIMING: Friday Night PARTIES: @deathisanartmetzli & @drowningisinevitable SUMMARY: Metzli and Mina meet in the woods to train. CONTENT: Domestic abuse mentions, emotional abuse mentions

Metzli walked carefully towards a clearing that Mina talked about. Her scent was all around it, giving them the impression that she frequented the area. Everyone had their special spots, and they supposed that this one was hers. Something familiar around someone she didn’t really know, which made sense. They didn’t know what the training would entail, but they were ready to accept whatever was thrown at them. That’s what fighting was like in real life anyway. Unpredictable and chaotic. Needing to be adapted to. Something that they hadn’t done up until recently, and before then, it had been several decades.

Passing trees and brush, a familiar silhouette came into view. Mina. “Hey…” Metzli waved sheepishly, wearing their hood as there were still residual slivers of sun they were protecting themselves from. Under the safety of shadows, they removed their hood, revealing several bruises and cuts. Most of them had already healed, but were still unsightly nonetheless. “Hope you’re ready for an ass-kicking ‘cause I certainly am.” They gave Mina a small smile in an attempt to lighten the energy. They doubted it would help, though.

Training hadn’t been much more than running at all hours of the day and night lately for Mina, and, while that helped to scratch at the itch she perpetually had to move, to get up and get out, it wasn’t quite the same as proper training for a fight, the feeling of exertion and adrenaline that Mina didn’t realize she’d probably been sort of addicted to for the first twenty-odd years of her life but was quickly realizing that she relied on. But this was safe, wasn’t it? Fighting with a vampire that was probably relatively ambivalent to her existence in the middle of the woods was very safe. At least, she was sure that Bex saw it as much more safe. So she loaded up a duffle bag with equipment and put on her workout clothes and headed to the clearing, waiting for Metzli to arrive.

When they got there, Mina was already unpacking and equipping some of her gear, attaching throwing and combat knives to her thighs, to sheaths on her arms. Her arms were even bare, exposing the significant amount of iron burns and slashes that littered them like hash marks that she often kept covered. She looked up at Metzli when they arrived, watching them reveal their healing cuts and bruises. Mina knew that whatever happened to them must have been painful if they were still healing. “Hi,” she said, giving them a small smile back. “I suppose I’m ready for one. It’s been awhile.”

The scars were the first thing Metzli took notice of, but they didn’t let their eyes linger. Instead, their gaze went to the the knife holsters on Mina’s appendages. For someone they had seen to be small, she looked quite powerful and prepared. Metzli on the other hand went with nothing but the knife they had retrieved from Anselmo during the ambush. They had gotten a sheath for it like the one they used in the clan. It clasped to the inside of their waistband. Made for easy retrieval and was what they knew. It felt fitting to train with it, and hopefully kill Eloy with it. “Your gear is nice. I only have the one knife, but it’ll do. Any rules before we begin? Besides, you know, not actually killing each other?” Their head tilted curiously before turning to survey the area. Tranquility was in the air, for now. Soon it would be interrupted by small stokes of violence and training.

Finding a tree to lean on for a moment, they removed their hoodie to give them more flexibility to move. A binder covered their chest, but still managed to show their tattoo. The bandages Bex had wrapped were still tight and clean, but would most definitely need to be changed out after they were done. But what really stood out were the sheer amount of scars that were strewn all around. Long and deep, laid onto them well before they were turned. Metzli walked back towards Mina after throwing the hoodie to the side and released all the tension in the body. Training was a good thing, training would make them stronger. “Just let me know when you’re ready. I am.” They gave Mina a nod, a polite one to signal that even if she wanted to surprise attack them, they’d be ready for her. It was a tactic they were used to. Reflexes were important to exercise. Especially when it came to reflecting real-life scenarios.

“I have a lot of knives,” Mina said quietly in response to her gear. She didn’t know if they knew that she was a hunter, that she’d been raised to be a hunter. Mina had insinuated it, and she knew that Metzli knew she was capable of taking down vampires and other monsters, but Fae didn’t typically do things like this. So she added. “It’s mostly old hunting gear. I can lend you some things if you’d like them. I have silver, iron, a combination, stakes… Probably a lot of stuff at my house that I haven’t gone through. You’re welcome to whatever if you need it.” She cocked her head while looking at them. Maybe she’d gotten too used to Morgan, to training against an undead, because all she said was, “I think, as long as we don’t kill each other or do permanent damage, we should be fine.”

Mina flexed her left hand, letting claws and webbing form, and she took a knife in her right hand. She was careful in her observation of them, the way they moved, the scars on their body. Vampires didn’t scar, not really, not like that. Nothing that left marks like that. Metzli had been fighting long before they were turned, she was sure, and likely in different ways than she ever had. Her upbringing was fine, all things considered, for the kind of lifestyle she had. For her, scars were just lessons. They were just lessons. Metzli’s looked far more painful than any lesson had any right to be. “Okay,” she said by way of letting them know that she was ready. Mina kept her stance relaxed, light on her feet and ready to move. “I’m glad you asked me to do this,” she said, voice conversational as she threw the knife at the right side of their chest as hard as she could. “I’ve been feeling a little stir crazy.”

“Like I said, my one knife is fine.” Metzli said, blinking and revealing red eyes. Details sharpened and senses heightened. Not by much, but it felt like a sheer veil was lifted and made everything a little clearer. “No permanent damage, got it.” Another nod, this time a little more stern in reaction to Mina’s change in energy. She was light in her feet, but the look in her eyes changed. Her energy made the corner of their mouth twitch. Seeing this side of her was refreshing. She was more than the anxiety she perpetuated, and although a part of them already knew that, there was a difference in theory and finally witnessing it.

Time seemed to slow as Mina made the first move. Metzli saw the attack as a possible distraction, given the tone in her voice, so they treated it as such. Watching the trajectory of the knife, their body turned, and their left hand followed it and grabbed it. The whistling in the air only stopped momentarily before continuing as they finished turning a full circle. As the knife returned to Mina, they ran right behind it and lunged for her legs. Normally the tactic would be in defense, but Metzli knew they’d have to learn offense better given what they knew the clan focused on.

“I’ve been stir crazy myself. But I’m also angry—” Metzli was interrupted by their own grunt as their body impacted with Mina’s. “So looks like we’re both winning with this.” The two landed on the ground, and Metzli rolled to get a little distance between them, knowing the knife made contact somewhere in her arm. Her retaliation would be stronger after seeing even just a little of what Metzli could do. They were sure of it.

Taking a knife to the arm wasn’t going to cause Mina to cry out or stop calculating her next move, if that was what Metzli had been attempting. They were fast and focused; no more throwing knives directly at them, then. If she threw a knife, it was going to be using it with the environment. She jerked the knife out as she rolled off the ground, for once grateful at her continuous and almost habitual use of iron sometimes in the way it managed to cauterize the very wound that had been made.

It was nothing to get herself standing again. Mina’s balance was already good, and it had been improved by years of gymnastics. She lunged on her own, lashing out with sharp claws and raking them across skin before almost immediately leaning back, falling into a back handspring to get away from them immediately after her attack. Strategies against vampires were to find a way to get to the heart as quickly and efficiently as possible. “I don’t really think there’s anyway to lose, here. Unless one of us accidentally kills the other. That might be rather unfortunate.”

There was no cry of pain when claws penetrated skin. Adrenaline was running so that everything was numbed. Body kept moving, reacting and maneuvering around to find a vantage point. Mina was quick and efficient. A very good opponent for a vampire. “I don’t take that as losing. But I’m not one to take the easy way out.” Metzli responded with a little more excitement in their voice. Legs moved them forward, squatting to send them in the air. And just before launching themselves, their hand gripped the earth to gather a trick. A dirty one.

Dirt was flung into Mina’s eyes, and Metzli took the chance to kick her shoulder before landing and lunging forward to tackle. In the midst of it all, they managed to unsheath a knife from her thigh and land on top of her. With a knee on each side of her, they pinned her down and dug the knife into her side. The blood made their pupils contract, but focus didn’t budge. Pulling out the knife to use it again, they weren’t surprised when Mina blocked their attack. In fact, it made them smile.

The last time Mina had a knife in her side was when Frank was trying to kill her, and then he was trying to kill Bex, nearly succeeding, probably part of the reasons that she had heart problems now, and it wasn’t Metzli that was on top of Mina anymore. It was him, and he was still alive, and she had to kill him before he could kill Bex. Mina jerked her knee up and into an abdomen then hooked one of her legs out and flipped them. She couldn’t see the body below her through the dirt in her eyes, but she could feel them, and clawed hands went up and dug into a cold neck, sinking in and planning to rip out a throat

Just barely blinking the dirt out of her eyes, Mina finally noticed it was Metzli beneath her and released, pushing herself up and away from them, returning to a defensive stance and watching them on the ground. Her heart was pounding, her breath coming in fast and she bunched up her shirt and pressed it to the wound, but she stayed on guard. No more claws. She used her free hand to grab another knife. This wasn’t Frank. He was dead. She killed him. This was just training.

The urgency, the absolute ferocity in Mina’s movements alarmed Metzli. There wasn’t a chance to counter or struggle as claws dug into their larynx. When she halted her attack and backtracked, they tilted their head in confusion. “What happened to not holding back?” Black sludge seeped out of their mouth, making their voice wet and thick. They spit to the side, abhorring the taste of their dead blood. Without hesitation, they sprinted forward, making themselves a blur. Her heart was prominent in their ear, the blood agitated their vampiric traits. All movement much more erratic and unpredictable, but still very much controlled.

Utilizing a new strength of theirs, they threw a voice behind Mina, Bex’s voice. A distraction to get her to turn around just as they threw her own throwing knife into her thigh. Gaining the advantage, they rocketed forward and leapt to wrap their legs around her neck, twisting their weight and getting her back to the ground. The sweet scent of her blood was overwhelming. Just one bite. Metzli shook their head to regain composure and held Mina in a headlock with their legs. It only took a few more maneuvers to pull her into their chest with legs wrapped around her waist and arms locked.

One bite. Just one. Metzli’s mind repeated over and over again. The thoughts beckoned their teeth to her neck. Growing closer still, they stopped and shoved her forward. “St-stay back! I need a moment.”

“I’m not trying to kill you, remember?” Mina panted out, eyes focusing on their blurry movements as she tried to pinpoint where they’d go. The sound of Bex’s voice jerked her head around, though, before the stabbing sensation of a knife in her thigh made her realize her mistake. By the time they wrapped their legs around her, Mina already knew she was hitting the ground, so she relaxed as much as possible to lessen the impact, allowing them to knock her to the ground and wrap around her.

Mina was just about to shove the knife still in her hand into their abdomen before they shoved her away. She took in their red eyes, sharp fangs. They’d been about to bite her, she realized. Somehow, though, they’d stopped themselves. Mina, for her part, was grateful for the reprieve. She wouldn’t be able to go on much longer if they kept fighting like. They were quickly approaching the point of potentially killing Mina from bleeding out, soon. She could fight through pain; she couldn’t fight through passing out. “‘S fine. Take your time.”

Holding themselves back took a lot of effort and a lot of resolve. Something they had built up over the years to aid their attempt at existing around humans. But this wasn’t just lounging around humans. This was a fight, where instincts were on high alert and bleeding caused the need for feeding. Metzli growled at Mina, losing themself a little. Before they lunged at her though, they bit their arm. The pain brought them back long enough to give Mina a command. “Blood bag. Hoodie. Please.” They bit their arm again, this time latching on for longer, to prevent them from going after Mina.

Neglecting to attack was a difficult thing that not many vampires could control. But Metzli had been starved by their master plenty of times to know how long they could hold out. It taught them how to endure the hunger, how to combat it and manage it until they could sate it. Fighting it only made their body bite back at them, but they weren’t going to give up. Not when their friend’s partner could be in danger. It was the right thing to do.

Looking between Metzli and the hoodie, Mina walked over to it, barely limping as she searched for the blood bag. She tossed it to Metzli, watching them catch it. But she kept her distance, eyes wary and watchful as she considered them. “You should have healed a little more before we did this,” she told them, her voice conversational as she watched them feed.

Not turning away from them, Mina pressed down firmly on the wound on her thigh, stemming some of the bleeding. She’d need to soak for at least most of the day tomorrow to get some of the wounds to even partly close, something she hadn’t had to do in awhile. But she appreciated the workout, even if they’d gotten to a point where Metzli wanted to eat her and she’d seen them as the boy that she’d killed.

Metzli was thankful for Mina following their instruction and getting them the blood bag. The effects were practically instantaneous as they consumed it in its entirety. “Thanks, Mina.” They muttered. Their body fell back into the ground and they relaxed as their hunger was relieved and their body began to heal. Once they had a moment to rest, they sat up and made their way over to Mina to check on her wounds. “Are you all right?” Their hand pushed hers away, knowing their cold skin would provide more relief in the moment. “How was that for the first round?”

Their attitude was much more light, finally being able to manage their vampiric instincts and not need to fight their needs. They had eaten, and there was no longer a need to eat. “I’m sorry for almost losing it, Mina. I know I should’ve waited. But…” Metzli paused, feeling helpless and a little pathetic. But they needed to be honest. “I needed to start as soon as possible. I don’t know when Master is coming.”

Tears began to fall, but they looked away so that she couldn’t see. “I couldn’t wait any longer, you know? Did I even do okay?”

“Don’t thank me,” Mina said immediately, the words second nature at this point. She froze as they touched her, not tensing but not moving, before she wiped some of the blood on her pants and started unstrapping the sheaths from her arms. “I’ll heal,” was all she said by way of how she was doing. She wasn’t expecting the stabbing, but, then again, she was the one that threw the first blade. It was possible that they didn’t realize that she didn’t heal as fast as them, either. Really, it wasn’t a bother. She’d dealt with worse. “I think it went fine.”

She cocked her head at them. “I wasn’t saying that you needed to wait because you almost bit me,” she said. “I said you should have waited because you’re still healing, and being at peak health is what you need if you’re going to take down your sire.” Mina refused to call the creature a master. It wasn’t their master. “If you want to train, I can show you actual tactics and moves that might be better than just fighting. This doesn’t have to just be sparring.”

Mina wasn’t sure what to do while they cried, concern marring her features as she took them in. “You did fine. Really, you’re not a bad fighter.”

“Right. Fae. Still taking some getting used to.” Metzli admitted as they continued to apply pressure. They knew it was wrong that they almost bit her, but they ultimately felt nothing in regards to guilt or remorse. The two of them had done exactly what they had set out to do: spar and train. “No, Mina. It’s good I fought in this state. Mast—Eloy—My sire will attack when I’m at my weakest, or will ensure I get to that point before he makes an appearance. That’s just how he works.” A sharp sigh slipped past their lips and they shut their eyes to think for a moment. To get strong enough was going to take even more work, and there wasn’t a set amount of time so that they knew they would be ready. It was all just a guess-work.

Metzli locked eyes with Mina and furrowed their brows as she complimented them. “While I think you have tactics that are effective, I think I just want to refresh myself in a fighting sense. This will be mostly a mental fight from Eloy.” Their gaze averted away, trying to formulate a proper sentence. When they managed to finally put words together, red eyes met Mina’s. “I just know I have to be ready for him. And I will be. Even if I have to face him alone, I’ll be ready.” Gesturing to their scars, they scoffed. “As you can see, I’ve dealt with assholes like him my whole life. Now it’s time to get rid of him.”

“It’s fine,” Mina said. It wasn’t like she knew how to use thank yous against people. But it was better to be safe than sorry. She’d rather not have anything against them, accidental or not. “But you’re at your weakest right now. Your head was almost taken off, you told me so yourself. So why wouldn’t you take the time to recover some before he gets here? Vampires heal relatively quickly. You could heal if you wanted.” She cocked her head to the side. “Then you can’t let yourself get weak.”

Vampires weren’t that impressive, not really, not to Mina. But, then again, maybe she had a preference for zombies because of Morgan and a bias against vampires because of a slayer girl that she’d known years ago. Whatever the case, she asked, “Has your fighting been effective against him before? Frankly, you should just light him on fire if you can’t stake him.” She didn’t understand that, the hold that a sire had on the vampires they turned. She wondered if it was just a Metzli thing, something psychological that happened to them from all those years with such a monster. She wondered if it had something to do with what their life had been life before. “You got those before you were turned, didn’t you?” she asked. She wasn’t going to ask them to elaborate, didn’t care to, really. She didn’t like talking about her own, so she couldn’t imagine that someone else would. “Get rid of him, then, but make sure you’re ready. I think if you try to take him on too soon, it’ll go badly.”

“There isn’t time to recover!” Metzli barked out unexpectedly. Fear was motivating them. They could lose everything they worked for. Having risked it all by running away, they were willing to do anything to keep their new life. And if they ultimately couldn’t keep it, they were resigned to the idea of letting go of that life so that would at least be preserved for the people they had built it with. “You don’t get it, Mina. You just don’t get it. I’m sca—” They cut themselves off and turned around so they wouldn’t have to look at Mina as they explained. Seeing her reaction, good or bad, wasn’t going to help.

New strength was found to utter secrets. Mina was a fighter. And if she was going to train with Metzli, then she needed to understand why they were training this way. “I’ve never had the chance to fight him before,” their voice was smaller than before, taking on a sort of dejection that was built on years of agony with Eloy. “Sires can control you. And he made sure to build on that. Yes, I got these scars before I was turned. My parents loved their lashes and locking me away in darkness for days. And you know what? He loved it. He used it against me. He made it worse.” It took a few moments of rocking back and forth before Metzli could continue. For the first time, they were not only admitting something to someone they barely knew, but themselves too.

“He became my parent. Similar, but so much fucking worse.” Metzli choked back a sob and pulled their knees to their chest. “So, it doesn’t matter what state I am in physically. I just need to feed that drive, and build on it until it’s unbreakable. Get it yet?”

“If you think I don’t understand being scared or spending my entire life having to fight for it but never really being able to, then–” Mina’s words were quiet, and there was really nothing else to add to that. They didn’t know her. She’d made that clear to them before, and it was startlingly clear now. They didn’t understand her, and, up until this moment, she didn’t really understand them, either. She watched Metzli even if they wouldn’t look at her, and she took in their words. “If you’ve never had the chance to fight him before, then surely you must realize that you need to do whatever it takes to be prepared for him, mentally and physically. You can be motivated by all of the drive in the world, but if you’re physically incapable of holding yourself up after a few minutes of fighting, then it’s nothing. It means nothing.”

Mina was controlled her entire life. All of it, from as long as she remembered. She knew that. She was aware of that, even if she didn’t always think it was a bad thing. She didn’t mind it, sometimes, the tiny voice in her head often telling her that the best thing for her to do was to allow other people to tell her what to do, who to be, how to act. Every scar was a lesson in all of that, training exercises that wanted her to be better, do better. Because Mina was bad, and she’d never be good, but she could at least try to do better.

It would be too much to tell Metzli any of that. They didn’t want to hear about Mina, and, truthfully, she wouldn’t even begin to know how to tell them. They didn’t want to relate to her. She wouldn’t try and force it. Instead, she said, “He was awful, and they were awful, and no one deserves any of that. It was cruel and wrong.” She reached out to them, wanting to comfort but unsure how. “You can’t see him as that, though because seeing him as that monster makes you emotional. Make the drive unbreakable, but take care of yourself as well. If you let emotions overwhelm you, this won’t go well, and if your body fails you, this won’t go well. I’m just trying to make sure you can see that, too.”

“You’d be surprised by my resolve.” Metzli laughed a little, not amusedly but dejectedly. “I know you understand a part of it. I know you know scared. I’ve seen it in you. I can see it in the way you move.” Turning, they finally let their crimson eyes meet with Mina’s and they even leaned into her touch. Mina was someone they could trust to not kill them at least, and physical touch was something they’d notice actually calmed them. So they let her touch them, grounding their thoughts and helping their panic reduce. “You make sense. And maybe I’m rushing everything, but it just feels like there’s no time. And now…now I have so much to lose. I…” Words got stuck in their throat, not wanting to speak with honesty.

Pushing through, they continued, “I’m actually scared to die. For the first time. To not be able to live and love everything I’ve gained. That love has made me a little reckless I guess.” Metzli sighed dejectedly and looked at the blood that still dripped from their throat. It was beginning to hurt to speak. “I won’t lose. I’m too stubborn and egotistic to let my body give out. Would look bad, you know?” Humor was returning slowly, but there was still a mixed cocktail of negative emotions. The taste was bitter and burned their chest.

“You’re not bad, Mina. Definitely gave me a run for my money. And you’re making awful sense too.”

“I don’t think I would be,” Mina said, a slight smile on her face that didn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t. That’s why I’m telling you: you can have all the resolve in the world to kill someone, especially if they’re threatening someone you love, but if you can’t get up, it means nothing.” She wasn’t really there with them, in that moment, but bleeding out with her leg in a bear trap as a boy pulled a knife out of her side, threatening to go after Bex next. Mina would have dragged herself after him, even if it killed her. The only thing that stopped her was that she physically couldn’t.

“Caring about things makes dying seem a lot more scary,” Mina murmured. She patted their shoulder, feeling a little awkward from the way they leaned into the touch, but still trying. “I think that love can make you reckless, and it’s certainly not rational, but… it helps, I think, to have priorities, things to actually fight for.” She lightened up, smiling back at them easily. “It would look rather bad, yes. Who else would flirt with my girlfriend?”

Blinking against the compliment, Mina added. “You’re not bad, either, Metzli.” She could still feel blood leaking from her thigh. “I… think I’ll be feeling this for the next few weeks, at least.”

Nodding, Metzli paused for a few moments and let silence fall between them. Love. Something they didn’t think they would ever feel. And maybe it wasn’t actual love but genuine fondness for the people in their life. Even Milo was someone they’d die for. He was a part of them now so an attack on Milo or even Bex was an attack on them.

Mina joked and there was a genuine laugh. “Oh come on. She flirts too. But I doubt she even realizes it. She loves the hell outta you.” They gave her a side smile that slowly faded into an expression of seriousness. “I hope you know, even though I’m scared of dying now, I’m not scared of dying for Bex. She’s adamant about helping and I’ll protect her with my life. I didn’t know loving a friend was possible, especially for something like me.” Metzli didn’t avert their face this time, wanting Mina to take their words as a promise. They sighed and finally relaxed once they felt like Mina understood.

“I’ll be feeling this for a few days.” They pointed at their neck, which already had a bite that was halfway healed. “I’ll be more healed for next time. But you gotta admit. For someone not at their peak health, I had sick moves.” Metzli was attempting to lighten everything again.

“Not surprising,” Mina said, smiling. “I don’t think she realizes it, no.” She placed her hand over her heart, now beating it’s normal, steady beat. “I believed for so long that I couldn’t love anyone, not like that, and then she was there, and I just– I don’t know how it’s possible to love anyone as much as I love her, but I do. I do.” She shook her head at them. “I know you’ll protect her, but I’d rather you didn’t die for her, all the same, if you can help it. I don’t think she’d forgive herself for that.” She thought of all the other things that Bex blamed herself for, the things that kept them both at night. She’d rather Metzli didn’t add to that.

“Yes, well, I was intentionally preying on the weaknesses that I already knew you had because you’re injured.” Mina didn’t add that she didn’t see them when she first dug her fingers in and planned to rip. Some of their black blood was still under her nails, crusted up and dry and gross. “That’ll be good. Maybe, next time, if you could help it, I’d like to not leave here with the worry that I might potentially bleed out,” she said dryly. “Or, at the very least, remind me that’s what we’re doing and I’ll pack a first aid kit.” She looked them over, scrutinizingly. “You’re not terrible, and you hold your own, even injured.”

Metzli smiled warmly at Mina and patted her hand at their shoulder. “I know you do. And I don’t want to subject her to that, but I think this world deserves a Bex in it, and so do you. I’m more disposable. But I’ll definitely try.” Standing slowly, they began to put their hoodie back on, wincing a bit as they did. It would all ache so much later, but the training was worth it.

“Sorry,” Was all Metzli could say as they looked at the wound on Mina’s side and cleared their throat. “I was kind of losing myself. That’s why I opted for a hold and pushed you away. I am pretty good with control, but I didn’t want to push it.” They coughed, black gunk spattering onto the ground. The more they spoke, the more it hurt. “Let’s bring a first aid kit next time, or maybe even a referee.” Their gaze fell onto the treeline, and they pocketed their hands, looking back at Mina for a moment. “It’s cool that you did this. Can’t wait for next time.”

“You’re not disposable,” Mina said, pulling away as they put on their hoodie and moving back to her own equipment, packing it up meticulously, cleaning off the blood and grass and dirt. “I’d appreciate it if you did.” She shrugged as they apologized. “It’s alright. I’ve dealt with worse. I’m a little rusty, too, I suppose.” She winced as black blood came out of their mouth. “Both. Maybe both.” she shouldered her bag and winced as it slapped against her side. “I’m looking forward to it, too.” And she was. It was strange, that she meant it, that she was looking forward to getting beaten up on a regular basis again. But it had been so long, and she missed this, the feeling of controlled adrenaline, of being able to move as she pleased. It was nice. She gave them a wave and started leaving, headed to her car.

[wickedmilo]

SOUNDS LIKE IT COMES WITH CASUALTIES | MILO & MURPHY

PLACE: A club TIMING: 2:32 AM SUMMARY: Murphy encourages Milo to let go, and attempts to win his trust WRITING PARTNER: @riseofmurphy CONTENT WARNINGS: Addiction, alcohol, drug abuse

Milo could hold his own in most club related situations, there weren’t many people who were able to drink him under the table. But sustainable fun was a careful balance, and he knew as well as anybody should that coming up for air was non negotiable. Every once in a while you needed a beer, or a cigarette to keep you from teetering over the edge. It was why after he stumbled out of the bathrooms, scrubbing at his nose with the sleeve of his sweater, he made his way towards the smoking area, pushing lazily through the crowd with no sense of urgency or determination. The scent permeating the air was overwhelmingly human. He remembered a time where he would be forced to hold his breath if he had any hope of maintaining control. Now, as bodies pressed against him, as people threw their heads back to expose their necks, and danced in a way that elevated their heart rates, he could ignore the temptation. Usually his throat would be burning with thirst, but it was blissfully numb, courtesy of the white powder he so often turned to, and he took a deep breath, almost to spite himself, to spite his animalistic instincts, before continuing in his journey. 

As always when he finally stepped outside, the sudden lack of music felt like a pressure in his head, and it didn’t take very long for his ears to start ringing. But every sensation, every discomfort was hard earned evidence of a good time. He willed himself to feel it all, to appreciate it, because for so long he had felt sure a life like the one he used to live was impossible. He ignored the voice in the back of his mind, telling him that might actually be the case. His experience with Bex was proof that with the right amount of alcohol, and adrenaline, any composure was only surface level. But nobody was bleeding, and he wasn’t being chased by monsters. Eloy’s messages were safely boxed away in the back of his mind, and he had called his parents to ensure they were safe. So he was free to enjoy… well, his freedom. Pulling a carton of cigarettes from his pocket, leaning back against the dirty brick wall of the club, he did what he so often did when he was looking for company, and held them out to the first person who passed him by. A woman who looked to be in her twenties too, though he didn’t recognise her from school, or college. She caught his eye, and he offered her a genuine smile. “If you have a lighter I’ll trade you?” 

The night revolved around Murphy in a complex display of lights zooming in and out of focus. Music reverberated through her chest as arms that were raised over her head twined around the nearest person’s neck. Their body was pulled close to hers and she welcomed the sensation, taking enjoyment from being able to hear the beat of the other's heart. Alcohol was consumed, pushing extraordinary amounts of heat through her body. She did not remember what time she had arrived and had no idea as to the current time, but she didn’t care. The evening had been young yet, and she was getting bored. Without so much as a goodbye she slipped from the arms of her dance partner and weaved her way through the entrance and out of the door, high-heeled feet carrying her to the next haunt.  

When Murphy stepped out of the cab at the next club, skirt having ridden up to reveal copious amounts of thigh, the energy on the air was electric. Even from the outside she could practically feel the buzz. Various scents mingled in the air, sweat, piss, different drugs, and.. death. It was faint, clouded by the scent of an overwhelming amount of congregated humans, but there all the same. It seemed that someone was out to hunt. Perhaps they’d be kind enough to leave her their scraps, an easy meal on a night out would be most welcome. Her first contact was a man leaning against the exposed brick outside the face of the club, near enough to the entrance to be there for the fun, yet far enough away to scope the surroundings. Molten hues studied him before deft fingers plucked a cigarette out of the pack. A lighter popped into her hand almost instantaneously, having been hidden in the hem of her dress. A quiet woosh as the fire sprung to life, and soon smoke curled into the air from the end of the cancer-sticks , her voice a sultry smoulder. “You always offer cigarettes to strangers? Or am I just an exception?”  

Watching as the stranger accepted his offer, the longer Milo was able to look at her, the more pleasantly surprised he became by her apparent willingness to spend time with him. There were definitely people inside the club who were in a far worse state than he was, that much was undeniable, and his company had clearly been enjoying her night given how high her dress was hitched, and the sheen of sweat that was clinging to her skin. But she was beautiful, and put together in a way he could never even hope to be. Even as she took a cigarette, flicking her lighter to inhale a breath of smoke, she was composed, almost calculating in the way that she caught his eye. He laughed, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t opposed to some playful flirtation, even if it wasn’t going to go anywhere. Swiping the lighter from her the moment she was finished with it, he sparked up himself before replying to her question. “Do you want to be an exception?” He teased, raising his eyebrows as he waited to hear what she had to say. 

Murphy knew that she had his attention, and she fed off of it. Though being a wolf meant frequent indulgence in her more base desires, she still liked to indulge in other ways as well. “That depends,” Her green hues caught his before flicking down to where a manicured hand rested on a tanned thigh. “What does being an exception get me?” In a deliberate move she hitched one side of the dress farther still, letting the gauzy material rest just below the start of her hip. With a coquettish grin, her eyes flicked to meet his once more. An inhale of the cigarette was taken, a soft hum parted from open lips as the smoke unfurled back out into the night air. She cast a gaze around conspiratorially, before her body leant into his personal space for the first time. 

Red painted lips almost pressed against the shell of his ear as she spoke softly, “I was rather hoping we could have some fun..” She let the words trail off and allowed her free hand to press a small baggie full of  pills of different shapes and sizes into his front pocket. 

Milo followed the woman’s gaze, glancing down to the hand resting suggestively against her thigh. He watched as she hitched her dress impossibly higher, a quiet laugh escaping him at how suddenly the situation seemed to be escalating. Before he could say anything, she had taken a step towards him, and his breath caught in his throat out of habit. It had been too long since anybody had been this intimate with him, a truly depressing thought. The last time he had gotten close to somebody they had kissed his neck, and he had descended into anxiety. Reminded of the night that his life had been stolen, of how terrifying it was to feel a stranger’s teeth tear into his skin. He repressed a shudder, forcing down the memories to avoid further trauma. He wasn’t with Alex right now, and the person before him definitely wasn’t a threat.  

Focusing on the feeling of a baggie being slipped into the pocket of his jeans, he grinned unapologetically, grateful for the sudden distraction. Regardless of whether the flirtation was pointless, he might just have found himself a friend. “I’m always down for some fun.” He wasn’t able to withdraw due to the wall behind him, but he also wasn’t sure he wanted to move away. The woman, whoever she was, seemed to share in his reckless nature, and he appreciated that. He appreciated the fact that she wasn’t telling him to slow down, or drink more water. She wanted what he wanted. A good time. “I’m Milo…” He introduced himself before he could forget. “And I’m gay, I mean- I probably should have led with that.” Another laugh escaping him, he could only hope this wasn’t the end of a potentially incredible night. “But I really appreciated the-” He gestured vaguely to the hemline of his company’s dress, eyes shining with mischief. “Y'know, the show… we’ll find you someone to take home tonight, if you’re up for a wingman? And they’ll probably be a lot fucking hotter than I am so…” 

“At least you have good taste.” Murphy’s head tilted back slightly as a laugh slipped past her lips. “Murphy,” she uttered her name with a suave elegance, not minding the fact that her chosen companion was gay. He had looked like someone who was up for some fun, and being gay wouldn’t diminish that, only change the kind of fun that she’d had in mind.  

Murphy had noticed the way that Milo’s breath had hitched within his throat when she had leaned closer. A subtle sign to be sure, but when combined with the hint of decay that clung to his skin beneath the smell of the club, it was easy enough to piece together. She smirked, eyes widening with her own sense of mischief. “We might be able to find you a double dose of fun. A snack and someone to bring home, all wrapped into one body.” There was no effort given at even an attempted explanation of how she knew. Murphy always kept her cards close to her chest, never giving out more than she could receive in return, and certainly never for free. 

With a firm grip upon his hand she dragged him past the front door and into the club itself, her body immediately tingled with the charge of the atmosphere. The music was loud, the lighting dim, and bodies were pressed so tightly together that you couldn’t tell where one ended and another began. Once they were in a more secluded corner, Murphy’s eyes darted back to his pocket before they locked onto Milo’s gaze once more. “How about we get this party really started?” 

“I could say the same about you.” Milo countered, taking a long drag of smoke before lowering his hand. “Murphy.” He echoed the name, committing it to his memory so that he wouldn’t forget it over the course of the evening. It was much harder to retain information when he was under the influence of so many substances, but he was relatively determined. If he forgot Murphy’s name, then he might forget her. And he was already looking forward to seeing her again. A frown creasing his brow as he listened to her, his bemusement quickly turned into understanding, and he froze in the process of exhaling. If she was a hunter, or a slayer, there was no doubt in his mind that he would know. She wasn’t aggressive, or toying with him, or even attempting to lure him somewhere more private. And her blood wasn’t tempting him in the way that a slayer’s might. So what was she? And how could she possibly have him so figured out? Swallowing, he shook his head at her suggestion, analysing her expression for anything that might suggest disgust, or even judgement. “I- I don’t do that…” He admitted, wondering whether he should tell her he had died because a vampire had lost control. He couldn’t become that, he wouldn’t let himself become that. Deciding it was too personal to share, he yelped in surprise as her hand circled his wrist.  

Her skin was hot against his own, and he dropped his cigarette, clumsily stumbling after her as he was dragged back into the chaos of the club. As always he was hit by a barrage of sounds, and smells, but he was more than used to being overwhelmed. In fact, he wasn’t even sure he could use the word to describe his feelings anymore. Not when he was so familiar with it, so comfortable with being surrounded by constant stimulation. Navigating the crowd to the best of his ability, aware of just how strong Murphy’s grip was, there were far too many people surrounding them for him to be able to break apart her scent, but the pieces were steadily beginning to fall into place, regardless. A smile tugging at his lips again, he slipped the baggie back out of his pocket, pressing it into her hand as he held her gaze. “You know what they do, I’ll follow your lead…” It was refreshing to be able to take such a risk without the voice in the back of his mind warning him about the consequences that could follow mixing various narcotics. He had always ignored said voice, but now it just wasn’t present. Now he could be content in the knowledge that, no matter what he put into his body, he was going to wake up, he was going to survive it. “You’re not going to like… howl at the moon after this, are you?” He teased, unable to help himself. “Because that really isn’t my thing.” 

“I always have good taste.” Murphy liked the way he repeated her name, as if he’d somehow committed it to memory. It made her more sure that she had made the right choice in her companion for the evening. Sure, it wasn’t going to end quite the way she had intended, but finding someone of strength who didn’t seem to have their guard up was just as big a boon. It was something she could use later, if she so chose. At any rate it was a relationship to cultivate, to nurture. By allowing it to blossom she would set herself up for success if the need ever arose when she wanted something but couldn’t quite get it herself. She was lost in thought, so at first his words didn’t register, and when they did she felt her eyes widen sharply in surprise. “How do you eat?” Murphy did not mean for the rebuttal to come out quite so harsh, yet there it sat in the air all the same. “You don’t mean..?” Her head shook, no, that couldn’t possibly be it, but from what she could sense there was no other explanation. “You feed and then let them go?” She could not help the way her voice rose with a note of incredulity. How could someone be so careless? What would a hunter think if they saw people roaming about with fangmarks in their neck. It was wrong. Unsafe. And her instincts screamed at her to correct the situation. “Next time you’re needing a drink, find me. I’ll see to it that you’re fed without getting us all killed.” 

Murphy let the mood lighten as the bag was passed into her hand. “What if I don’t know what they do?” She teased him lightly while testing his knowledge at the same time. “Does that mean this,” her voice trailed off as she plopped four pills from the bag onto her tongue, “would be a bad idea?” Mischief twinkled in green orbs as she pressed her lips against Milo’s, a simple gesture to pass him two of the pills that had already started to dissolve on her own tongue. There was nothing romantic or familiar about it, it was simply a less obvious business transaction. Still, it was fun. With her increased healing she knew she would burn through the pills faster than a human, and knew that two was a good way to start herself off with a decent high. Drugs in their systems, she grabbed his hand once more to move them into the crowd of writhing bodies that danced to the music of the DJ. Once on the dance floor she cupped her hands to her mouth and let out a loud howl that upon hitting the air was drowned out by the thump of the bass. “I always howl for a good time.” 

Milo faltered, caught off guard by Murphy’s tone. It was obvious she was confused by his statement, but her confusion made him wary. She sounded as though she couldn’t imagine a vampire not killing for sport, not drinking their victims dry simply because it felt good. He opened his mouth, no sound coming out as his mind worked for something to say. “What? No!” He insisted, noticing her sheer disbelief. If he did choose to source his meals in such a way, he strongly suspected she would call him an idiot. “No, I drink from blood bags. I have connections to the hospital.” Maybe Harsh was the only connection to provide him with donated blood, but he didn’t want to out his roommate so readily. Their lives as they were right now quite literally depended on keeping the information secret. “No offense, but your blood is really- not great.” He countered, hoping she was offering herself up, and not suggesting she find him a victim. The idea made his stomach churn. “I’m fine, really- I don’t need your help. Not like that, at least. I’ll never turn down a hit…” Intentionally steering the conversation back to the drugs in her hand, he tried to force down his discomfort. So many people in his life had varying levels of morality. He couldn’t judge them for it. Not only would he not have any friends, but that would lend them to judging him right back, and that brand of scrutiny felt terrifying. He had made more than a few mistakes in his life, and he didn’t want to remember them. 

His lips quirking into a smile at her question, he shrugged, watching as she emptied a couple of pills into the palm of her hand. “Then I guess we’ll find out together.” She placed them carefully on her tongue, and he laughed, once again reminded of why he enjoyed the simplicity of this life, of this scene, of his substances. “No, not even a little bit-” He broke off, interrupted by her lips against his. A feeling so familiar, and yet so alien at the same time. The last person he kissed had been Alex, and things really hadn’t ended well. Opening his mouth upon instinct, he stepped closer, allowing her to transfer a pill over to him. He could taste it, sharp and bitter as it dissolved, and swallowed it readily, prolonging the need to withdraw. Eventually, he leaned back to look at her, missing the intimacy of the moment which was probably incredibly desperate. But Murphy clearly wasn’t preoccupied in the same way. She took his hand again, encouraging him to join her on the dance floor. He grinned easily as she threw her head back and howled, almost admiring how confident she seemed in what she was. How did somebody become like that? How did you learn to love yourself when everything about you was so… different? “I, uh- I don’t dance.” He said, wondering whether he needed to raise his voice or whether her hearing would be strong enough to pull it apart from the music. “I mean, not like this…”  

“Not my blood.” She shook her head incredulously, though this time she let humor color her expression. “I meant, that I have resources to get you some. Also, just for future reference, if you ever do bite me, it will be the last thing you do.” Murphy didn’t expect that to be a problem, not when she knew her blood smelled utterly unappealing, but she couldn’t simply let the opportunity for a warning pass. It wasn’t in her nature. “Do you at least heat them up?” From experience she knew that a cold kill was nowhere near as satisfying as a fresh body whose flesh still held warmth. That was one of the reasons she preferred to hunt an animal if there wasn’t time to go after a human; at least then the body would be warm, even if the taste wasn’t as fragrant.  

Murphy ignored his protest. “Tonight, you do.” She turned so that her back was pressed against his front, hips slowly starting to sway to the beat of the music. The hand that wasn’t keeping him from bolting reached back to wrap around his neck. Due in large part to the aura they gave off naturally as other, attention was immediately drawn to them. There were eyes squinted in jealousy, hearts that picked up speed at the two of them grinding together. It was exactly what she wanted, and as the high began to seep further into her mind she laughed, the sound a twinkle that cascaded through the air. “Are you having fun yet Milo?” 

“Resources?” Milo echoed, trying not to think about the implication behind Murphy’s words. There were so many things she could mean, both innocent, and perhaps unethical. “Do you know how shady that sounds?” Grinning at her, ignoring the way her following statement could be taken as a threat, he brushed it off, the alcohol and the drugs in his system making it wonderfully easy to do so. “Please, I’m not about to bite you.” He insisted. “I already told you I don’t do that.” Falling silent again when she began to ask him about whether he heated his blood before drinking it, he wasn’t entirely sure why the questions were beginning to feel so personal, but he let out a huff of breath, shaking his head. “Do you go around asking humans how they like to eat their eggs?” He raised his eyebrows pointedly, a sudden numbness in his fingertips reminding him of the pill he had just taken. It wouldn’t be long until it hit, and considering he didn’t know what it was about to do to him, it would be better for everyone to leave behind the heavier topics of conversation. “Forget it, come on…” He was more than ready to find something new they could discuss, to nudge Murphy towards the bar, or back towards the smoking area, but it quickly became apparent that she had already made plans for them both.   

Her tone of voice was so definitive, so commanding, that as she turned to press herself against him, wrapping an arm around his neck so that he wouldn’t be able to pull away, all he could do was stand and consider how close they suddenly were. The way she was dancing was so suggestive, so overtly sexual, and it was far from anything he had ever taken part in. He only ever danced to make people laugh, and aside from having decent rhythm he was never actually good. “I-” He could see people watching them, no doubt wondering why somebody so beautiful was grinding against somebody so blatantly undeserving. He accidentally made eye contact with a man standing a few yards away from them. There was a hunger in his eyes, and a certain degree of jealousy, which is what caused him to finally duck out from under Murphy’s arm. He mentally shook himself in a vain attempt to clear his head. He wasn’t about to get challenged for the affection of a woman he had no interest in pursuing romantically. No fucking way. The room was beginning to tilt, his balance feeling less and less reliable, but he managed to stay upright as he registered Murphy’s question. “Yeah, I mean- shit, this stuff hits quick.”  

“Well, getting someone to donate their blood to be a snack under false pretences is hardly legal. Sometimes a little shade is necessary in order to get things done.” She let out a laugh at her poorly attempted joke, finding amusement from just how bad it actually was. Humor was most definitely not one of her strong suits, unless of course it was drenched in sarcasm. “No. But only because I don’t need to. Normal human’s don’t eat them cold from the fridge.” The word normal was stretched out into three long syllables, clearly giving her thoughts on those who chose to eat their meals cold from the bag. Murphy could tell that he was eager to drop the subject, and so let it end. There was no reason to push him on something as simple as his meal preferences, even if she herself did find them quite odd. “You’d better not!” Her previous tone had evaporated, replaced instead by a teasing grin. “Because you never know, I might just bite back.” She gnashed her teeth together playfully, giving him a playful bump with her hip. It was clear that he needed careful handling, too much too soon would send him on the retreat, and though she didn’t agree with it, his apparent desire to be as human as possible could prove to be useful for her in the future.  

When he broke away from her, Murphy knew they were going to have to find something else to do. Her own eyes felt like kaleidoscopic tunnels, everything within her field of vision shimmered and swirled. Still, she was able to focus enough to grab his hand, gently this time, to lead them through the din and up a full three flights of stairs. It appeared that the third story was a vacant apartment; graffiti tagged on the walls and empty bottles of liquor whose labels had been dusted over littered the floor. It left a little to be desired as far as appearance, but was more quiet than the club downstairs. The bass of the music was still easily felt though the partially rotted floor. To get in only took one good shove of her shoulder against the door, the metal having shifted just enough to unseal the lock. Once inside she twirled around, causing layers of dust to float up like tiny sparkles into the air. A laugh left her as she held up her hands to catch them. To be honest, Murphy truly had no idea what exactly the drugs they had taken were. Upon purchase she had been told they were a strong upper that had been cut with just a hint of hallucinogenic and blessed by a witch to make the experience truly fun. Yet. she didn’t feel as though he was having fun. Wanting to get him more involved, she laid on her back on the dust covered floor as her arms and legs moved in and out. “Come make dust angels with me.” A highpitched giggle rose into the air. “And then we can raid the place for some booze. Anything that’s been in here this long is bound to have a bit of a bite.” 

“They’re donating to help people.” Milo countered. “And I know you could say they’re donating to help humans specifically, but they kind of are either way, y’know? It makes me less dangerous.” His expression fell, giving away his feelings on being considered dangerous. It wasn’t who he wanted to be, but after Bex, and his conversation with Metzli, he was coming to terms with the fact that he was dangerous. There was no escaping it, and acknowledging the fact was far more productive than trying to avoid it. Trying to avoid it had nearly caused him to hurt Bex. Forcing a weak smile when Murphy continued his talk on how people ate eggs, he was grateful when she decided to drop it. He wanted to live in the moment, he didn’t want to think about his past, or his blood lust, or even his vampirism. He just wanted to exist. “You really… you’re proud of not being normal, aren’t you?” He asked, the words escaping him before he could stop them. “Why?” Rolling his eyes, feeling his mood beginning to brighten again, he was so sure she was being serious but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could be concerned in the morning. He could do all of his thinking in the morning. Wasn’t that sort of the point? 

Allowing Murphy to take his hand again, he came to realise it was going to be a theme. Murphy was used to being followed, and if he was being honest, he was somewhat used to being a follower. Allowing her to lead their way back through the crowd again, he swiped a bottle from a table as he brushed by it. An abandoned bottle of champagne. He couldn't imagine the group it belonged to had travelled very far, but even if they did notice him taking it, he would be long gone before they could try to take it back. The door to a fire exit slamming shut behind him, he was hit by the smell of mould, and damp wood, and it pulled him back out of his thoughts. Glancing upwards, his vision warped as he stared at the staircase above him. He couldn’t decide if it was three flights, or three hundred. Regardless, he began to climb them. It only made sense when Murphy was already ahead. If he lost her he didn’t know how to get out, and even in his current state he understood the importance of avoiding the sunrise. Taking the steps one at a time so that he could read the graffiti as he passed, there were a few scattered needles, and some evidence of a skirmish, but no other signs of life. Eventually, after what felt like both minutes, and hours, they reached the floor Murphy had been aiming for, and he watched as she shouldered a door open. Had it been locked? Or jammed? He decided he wasn’t terribly interested in finding out. If it was an apartment somebody still owned and used then he wouldn’t be able to enter without an invite. The door could barely be considered important. 

Reaching out, knowing he looked ridiculous, he crossed the threshold with his hands testing the space in front of him, searching for any discomfort or resistance. He found none, and it made him suddenly curious to know what had happened to the previous resident. “How did you know this was up here?” He asked Muprhy, stepping further into the room, marvelling at the way the dust caught the moonlight. Tiny galaxies swirled around him, distracting him from what he was trying to say. “Holy shit…” He murmured. “This is awesome…” He trailed off, focusing on his body as wave upon wave of euphoria crashed over him, rendering him entirely speechless. He gripped an old kitchen counter, his breath catching suddenly in his throat. “What?” He searched the room for his new friend, finding her laying on the floor, making angels out of a thick coating of dust. “I have this.” He held up the champagne, taking a sip before stumbling to where she was. Setting the bottle down, he fell onto his back with far more force than he meant to, a breathless laugh escaping him as he felt the vibrations of the bass through the floorboards. “This is weird… but it’s good, right? You’re good?”

“Actually, they’re donating specifically for the feeding of various supernaturals. The humans just don’t know it.” Murphy shrugged, “Not surprising really considering how obnoxiously obtuse the majority of them seem.” Her head shook slightly. “I hate to be the one to break it to you babe, but you’re a vampire.” In an attempt to lighten the mood she placed her two index fingers upside down over her lips to indicate the creature she was referring to. “Which means you are always going to be dangerous. All the blood does is keep you from descending upon an unsuspecting club full of people and exposing yourself.” It was always so frustrating to her when someone was suppressing their nature, the way they were meant to be. Sure, Milo may have started off human, but now he had ascended to something more than. A thing to be celebrated. “Repressing the desires of your nature does not give you control. In the end choosing to repress the beast will only result in catastrophe. Without practicing, taking the time to get to know what it feels like to be at one with yourself, the beast inside will over power you. It is not a matter of if, but when.” Born into the supernatural, Murphy had learned her control as a child, a time of impulsiveness for even humans. She did not want to think about what it would have been like to be a fully grown wolf just discovering their strength. 

Murphy smirked as her tongue darted out to wet lips that had started to chap. A reaction to the drug most likely. She pointed first to her ears, then to her nose. “There was no noise coming from up here, I was curious. Once we got far enough up the stairs I could smell the rot from the decayed floor.” As she spoke her body paced, inadvertently checking the floor fr weakness. At one point her foot slipped through the boards, not enough to go completely through the floor, but close. “Watch your step.” Certainly this was not the safest place to be at an unfunctioning level of intoxication, but where was the fun in being safe? Besides, it was private, and that was the most important thing. Her lips quivered into a small smile as she watched Milo take in the way the dust floated around the two of them. She found it cute the way he marvelled at the small specks, as if only truly seeing them for the first time. “Everything can look like that when you let go.” To be honest she was no longer sure if she meant the drugs or their combined enhanced senses, either way it didn’t matter.  

The movement of her arms was in time to the music that pumped from two floors below. Eventually she grew tired, and as Milo flopped next to her and sent a dust cloud up into the air, she dissolved into a fit of breathless giggles. Normally she was not one to giggle, but the high had now taken effect completely, thus taking her emotions on a roller coaster ride. Green hues locked upon the bottle of champagne and an excited squeal parted from between her lips. “Ohmygosh!” Eagerly she swiped the bottle from them and took a long swig, the bubbly liquid only served to make her more hyper. “You are the best.” A kiss was placed on Milo’s cheek before she settled into their side. Somewhere deep down she knew that the drugs had been a successful play, they never would have ended up here otherwise. Murphy was not so far gone that she didn’t remember that she had wanted to gain information from her companion. “You’re much nicer than this other vampire I met.” She beams. “Well, not really met, but he messaged me, and it was so weird. He was all creepy. I think his name was… Elvis? Elroy? Something with an E.” Another giggle before she turned wide, innocent eyes on him. “Have you ever met any vampires like that?” 

Had Milo not been so heavily under the influence, he would have scowled at Murphy’s words. Even lost in his intoxication he knew he didn’t like what she was saying. But it was easy not to acknowledge the seriousness of the conversation, to brush off her comments and forget about them entirely. He wanted to. Honestly, he might even need to. How was he supposed to learn to be comfortable with himself when everybody was telling him he was a threat? How was he supposed to come to terms with the animalistic nature of his being when he was so undeniably terrified of it? The people encouraging him to accept it were only managing to make him more afraid. “What do you know about being a vampire?” He asked, no malice to his voice, only a causal determination to avoid the subject. “It’s not a matter of anything- and I’m not repressed.” Intrigued by the mention of her senses, he wondered vaguely just how strong they were, grateful for the welcome distraction. Glancing down at the hole in the floorboards created by her foot, he wasn’t sure falling one storey would do any damage his body wouldn’t be able to repair. He knew werewolves healed faster than humans too, so he decided he wasn’t going to worry about the stability of the building. “You smelled a decaying floor and decided to walk towards it?” He asked, a grin lighting up his face. He made no effort to hide how amused he was by the logic. “Smart.” He wasn’t really in a place to judge considering he had blindly followed her with no knowledge of where she was going. But he always enjoyed teasing his friends, and he figured he could probably call Murphy his friend.  

“What do you mean?” He asked, his voice quiet as he continued to be distracted by the dust. He was letting go, wasn’t he? Letting go was about the only thing he had ever been good at. When he moved to join Murphy on the floor, fresh new waves of dust joined the particles floating above them both, and he stared at them, allowing himself to be consumed by the beauty of it. Turning his head, the rough wooden floorboards scratching at his ear, he listened to the sound of Murphy laughing, enjoying it despite not knowing what had prompted the reaction. The moment she laid eyes on the bottle he realised it was his turn to laugh. Her reaction was so genuinely joyful, it felt good to know he could elicit that from somebody. Even if it was just by surprising them with alcohol. Wrinkling his nose as she leaned down to kiss him, he batted her away without sitting up. “Okay, jeez- you don’t need to accost me.” He countered, catching her eye as she took a long drink. Brushing his fingertips against the surface beneath him, feeling splinters prick at his skin, the dust was soft, and almost soothing. “Elvis isn’t dead…” He grinned, his eyes shining as he thought about how hilarious it would be to meet a vampire named Elvis. However, it didn’t take long for his grin to falter.  

Rolling his head back to face the ceiling again, he did his best to focus on a large crack directly over his head, the plaster bubbling around it with evidence of water damage. He knew he shouldn’t say too much, Eloy was a Metzli problem, and therefore it was Metzli’s decision to share the details of their story. But his inhibitions were lowered, and he couldn’t force his filter to function. “Yeah… I know someone called Eloy. Kind of...” He murmured, slow, and considerate, as he thought about his answer. “He’s the sire of a friend… they’re important to me. Eloy threatened Mom and Dad, y’know? Earlier this evening, actually… I don’t think he’s a very good person.”  

“About being a vampire? Not shit. But I’ve watched young wolves tear themselves apart trying to fight what they are. They end up with a crippling dependency on wolfs-bane. And once that starts, it doesn’t stop. Most end up dead from the overdose. And the ones that don’t can be permanently disfigured. Wolfsbane is lethal in a high enough dose. Yet none of them care. They’re too busy trying to gain back what they lost. Or, wanting to find themselves. But what they don’t know,” an almost cruel laugh bubbles past her lips, “Is that in order to find themselves,'' sarcastic airquotes surrounded the words, “They must first give into what they are. Only once the beast is satisfied will they be able to regain their sense of self. Otherwise they end up tearing themselves apart until they’re buried in the ground.”  

Murphy was not entirely sure why she chose to goad Milo on. A large part was due to the drugs that floated through her mind. They clouded her judgement, after all she had wanted to mold him into someone that could help her. Do her bidding. And to continue to alienate them simply would not do. She sighed. “Sorry for being such a downer, Mi. I suppose the drugs can sometimes tend to bring about a case of the ‘worsts’.” Worst case scenarios. Worst ideas. And an even worse attempt at playing nice. Desperately she wanted to bring the mood back to it’s original base when giggles had filled the stale air of the hovel they were currently residing in. With practiced ease she reached lithe fingers into the seam of the bust line of her dress. From it she withdrew two little pills. If they were intending to have fun, they might as well do it properly. “They’re uppers,” one was popped onto her own tongue as she held out the other, a brow raised in question.  

With new drugs meted out Murphy took a significant swig from the bottle of champagne, the only sound that filled the room was the guzzling of the liquid as it poured down her throat. When finished, she passed the bottle back to Milo and wiped the back of her hand across the top of her mouth, not a care given to the fact that she had just smeared her lipstick. Let him think she was sloppy when intoxicated. That would suit her just fine. Still, she needed to probe further. “Did he… did he end up hurting them?” A falsified concern laced her voice, overlapping the slight slur of her words. “I--I’m worried he might be targeting a friend of mine. I want to protect them.”  

Milo stayed silent, pensive as he contemplated what Murphy was telling him. He knew Luis was a frequent user of Wolfsbane. Was he addicted to it? Was it detrimental to his health? “You can overdose on Wolfsbane?” He swallowed, a sudden bitter taste in his mouth as he pictured Luis, his body cold, and lifeless on the ground of some forgotten building. It terrified him, but he was in no place to tell people what to do with their bodies. How could he possibly warn his friend against his drug use without being hypocritical, and infuriatingly patronising? A frown creasing his brow, he pushed the thought from his mind, focusing on the conversation as it moved forward. The concept of trying to gain back what had been lost wasn’t unfamiliar to him. He often found himself dwelling on his Humanity, of just how much was taken from him by his sire. He wanted it back, he did everything he could to steal moments of relief, moments where he could convince himself he was Human again. But it never brought the comfort he was hoping for. “Satisfying the beast sounds like it comes with casualties.” He muttered, unable to stop the words from escaping him. He didn’t enjoy the word beast. It was animalistic, and rageful. Everything he was trying so hard not to be.  

Rolling onto his side to face Murphy fully, the colours of her clothing seemed to shift as he looked at her. Pinks became various tones of red, and orange. Blues became purples, and greens. He couldn’t remember the real colour of her dress, but he made no effort to try. He was too surprised by the apology, and far too mesmerised by the strange rainbow. “Mi?” He echoed, a quiet laugh escaping him. He wasn’t sure anyone had ever called him that before. “You weren’t being a downer.” He insisted. No matter how dark the subject matter, nothing could take away from how light he felt. Nothing could erase the stars and galaxies currently surrounding him. The euphoria wasn’t easy to chase away, but as she pulled out another pill, he knew he wasn’t going to turn it down. Reaching out to clumsily accept the offer, he placed it on his tongue and swallowed it dry. There was something so freeing about knowing he couldn’t kill himself. At least not with the substances he so often liked to put in his body. He could take what he wanted, and indulge as often as he felt like indulging. An overdose of Human drugs would only result in a bad comedown; a risk he was more than willing to take.  

Humming softly in thanks as Murphy handed him back the champagne bottle, he made no move to sit up. “What?” He asked, before her words could fully register. “Oh… yeah.” He admitted, his stomach churning as he considered everything Metzli had been through. “Yeah, he hurt them a lot… not so much now, but his clan… they did. And I think he wants to. I think he wants them back.” He took Murphy in, everything from the way the hem of her dress was slowly hitching back up her thighs, to the way her lipstick was smudged, staining her cheek, and the back of her hand. He saw something of himself in her, though he couldn’t say how. He liked her. He liked that she seemed to be genuinely worried, both for Metzli, and for her friend. “I don’t know how to protect people.” He murmured, with an honesty that would usually make him feel awkward, and exposed. Now, though, the truth was pouring out of him, and he wasn’t sure he even wanted to stop it. “I try… but it isn’t like- I don’t know- solving a math problem. People are complicated… I want to protect my friends but I don’t know how, especially when there are- when people like Eloy-” He let out a huff of breath, smiling weakly at his inability to form a coherent sentence. “I mean… what can I do? I’m just… I’m me, y’know? I’m Milo. I’m fucking useless.”  

Murphy shrugged, one shoulder rising ever so slightly before falling back down. The topic of wolfsbane was something that would ordinarily wind her up. But in this blissful high of euphoria she merely spoke with an almost unintelligible disdain. “Of course you can.” Green hues searched her companion's face, able to see the concern that had briefly flitted across the features. He must know a user. “It works to keep the wolf at bay because it is poisonous to us. It weakens us, takes away our strength. On it we are vulnerable, unable to defend ourselves in the event of an attack.” A soft sigh swirled the dust particles in the air. “And anything poisonous will kill you once enough of it is in your system.” She reached over a manicured hand to pat his face in what was an attempt at being consoling. “Whoever your friend is, I advise them to stop now. Before it’s too late.”  

There was a brief sequence of uncontrollable laughter so strong it caused her to sit up and clutch her side. “Casualties are part of the deal. We’re monsters, Mi.” At the word monsters another fit of laughter broke forth. She couldn’t help it. The idea that they, a vampire and werewolf, could be anything but monsters was highly amusing. As the giggles slowly began to subside she raised her next point. “But that doesn’t mean you necessarily have to be a savage. I choose to, it is my nature. It is in yours as well. However with control, you could choose to release it on one, instead of unknowingly bringing about the death of many. Which will eventually happen if you don’t learn to control this.” This time her fingers twine with his to give a comforting squeeze. Though she was using him for information, that did not mean she wanted him to feel alone. “I believe I might have a friend who could help you. Provided you’re willing to accept the help of course.” Murphy knew that Metzli should be willing to help a vampire learning to come into their own. To make the experience less awful than it was for them. She would have to reach out and see if they would have the time, what with everything else going on.  

Even in her intoxicated state Murphy is unable to hold back the growl that parts from her at the sound of his words. That Eloy wants them back. It might be what he wanted but she would not allow it to happen. She would give her life to make sure they were safe. Another squeeze was given to Milo’s hand, and this time she curled herself into their side. It was her own attempt at providing comfort. “I can teach you how to fight. To protect. But there is a part of yourself that you are going to have to embrace. The part of yourself you seem so keen to avoid. Teach you how to not be useless.” All of a sudden she could feel the euphoria of her high leaving her, being replaced with the suppressant of the alcohol. This was the other side of the trip. She yawned, the sound echoing around the room. “People like Eloy like to think that they are smarter than everyone else. But they always trip up. They will always make a mistake by choosing to underestimate their opponents.” Her eyes fluttered closed, voice barely above a whisper. “And that’s when I’m going to get him. Get him before he can hurt ‘Li. Before he can take them away from me.” Murphy hardly knew what she was saying, control over her words had slipped as she fumbled into a restless sleep.  

Her dreams were plagued by hallucinogenic nightmares of watching her friend be torn apart by their maker. And as she slept she gripped onto Milo’s hand so tightly, that had he not been what he was she would have reduced the bone’s in his hand to ash.  

Milo found himself wondering whether there was a vampire equivalent to Wolfsbane before realising with a jolt that he didn’t want it. There were elements of being a vampire that no longer felt alien to him, that he almost enjoyed. To take away the bad would be to take away the things he had grown used to, the things that had, over time, become normal to him. Flinching as Murphy’s hand touched his face, he let out a breathless laugh. He had been too distracted by the dust motes to register her movement. But his smile faded the moment she spoke, reminding him of the worry for his friends that seemed to constantly rest upon his shoulders. “I don’t…” He trailed off, knowing it would be stupid to lie when she could obviously read him so well. “I’m not about to tell someone what to do with their body.” He muttered, gesturing lazily to himself. “...kind of hypocritical, y’know?” He swallowed his concern, hoping that by sunrise, the information would filter away and become lost to time. He didn’t want to know because nothing he could say would ever stop Luis from abusing the substance. At least his friend would be human soon, he needed to believe that. For Luis, and now for his own peace of mind.  

Pulled out of his thoughts by the sudden sound of laughter, a half smile tugged at his lips regardless of the fact that he didn’t agree with the reaction. Murphy was laughing at him, laughing at his desperate attempt to cling to his humanity. He understood that, he just couldn’t find the energy to care. “I don’t like the connotations of that word.” He meant to sound serious and sincere, instead he sounded like a petulant child. Crossing his arms over his chest, he turned his head to stare back up at the ceiling, his expression neutral, and calm. It was difficult to concentrate, and the conversation was heavy, so he stayed silent, listening to Murphy as her amusement slowly waned. Her laugh was a genuinely joyful sound, so at odds with what she was trying to tell him, he missed it the moment it faded. “That isn’t me… s’never been me.” He insisted. It might be easy for people like her to let go, but his version of letting go was lying on the floor of an old apartment, taking unmarked pills and hoping for the best. This was where he found purpose, and meaning. Only when he was high did he truly feel comfortable, at ease with who he was, and who he was supposed to be. The world fell away, he could only ever think about the here and now. Humming softly in response to her taking his hand again, he let out a gentle huff of breath. “I’m fine… I don’t need help, my control is fine.” What about him made her so sure he wasn’t stable? What did she see in him that made her question his strength? And, more importantly, did he really want answers to those questions? 

Feeling the shift in Murphy’s emotion, he used the respite to gather his thoughts, to try and sift through them. They were jumbled, and hazy. His focus slipping even as he struggled to maintain it. “I’m not doing that.” His voice was barely louder than a whisper. Even though he knew he was speaking the truth, he felt so disconnected from his words. He didn’t want to embrace the side of himself that hurt people, that put the people he cared about in danger. “I hope he’s underestimating…” He admitted, ignoring the voice in his mind that was demanding to know whether he would be willing to embrace his animalistic nature if it meant keeping Metzli safe. It wouldn’t come to that. It couldn’t possibly come to that. Too intoxicated to notice how odd it was for Murphy to declare war upon Eloy, he watched the dust above him as he exhaled. Murphy was another person who wanted Eloy gone. That was important. That was what mattered. This was one more person on his team, on the team he shared with Metzli, and Bex, and Macleod... “Nobody’s getting taken away from anyone.” He could hear Murphy’s heartbeat slowing as she drifted into a state of sleep, or perhaps unconsciousness, and moved to get properly settled on the ground. She was still holding his hand, so he took in the stars above them both, allowing himself to enjoy the sensations being offered to him by her drugs. If he needed to stay where he was until morning then so be it. There were far worse places to be. 

[deathisanartmetzli]

@nelllraiser​

[pm] Flesh from the elder vampire and teeth from the spawn. I don’t think you’ll actually work for the other one, because it has to be the blood of a newly turned vampire. The spawn will be easy. Obviously the elder vampire is gonna be the biggest problem. You wouldn’t happen to know any in town, would you?

Also I have more questions about your sire. First off- what’s his name, and how many vampire are in his fun little murder gang. Does he have any of the abilities that come with getting closer to being an elder?

Don’t act like you know her better or something  Don’t tell me what to do  I don’t need instructions for how to treat Bex. How long have you even known Bex?

✞ ° ✫ ° ✞ ° ✫ ° ✞

[pm] No, I don’t know any personally. But I’ll figure it out. Always do.

Eloy Cadena. When I was in his clan, there were about 30 of us, and growing rapidly. He liked to have groups of the clans dispersed across Mexico. More control that way. He was very good at imitating voices and throwing them. Compelled others constantly. And was already transforming into a swarm by the time I met him. He’s strong. Dangerously strong. He has lots of control over the clan, and it took me thirty years to get away from him.

I know, I know. Her and I are just...similar. Similar parents. So I kind of understand her headspace. I’ve known her a few months. But it feels like I’ve known her forever I also don’t think she is very happy that you and I slept together. Is this where you tell me to shut up?

[deathisanartmetzli]

Keep You Right Here || Bex & Metzli

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @inbextween​ @deathisanartmetzli​

SUMMARY: Bex helps Metzli return home.

CONTAINS: Domestic abuse mentions, Emotional Abuse mentions, Parental death mention

Darkness receded and gave way to a dim light. Everything was fuzzy, felt so distant and garbled in the pain-induced haze. It was like a thick substance prevented their body from moving, like they were fighting against molasses. A weight so heavy that Metzli’s body could not rise, and could only shift uncomfortably as the pain rose excruciatingly and their throat felt like it was filled with knives. “Con calma. (Calm down.)” A small voice pleaded. Metzli’s head whipped and they cried out in pain, cutting it short from the knives digging further into their esophagus. Everything hurt so much. How were they still alive? “Me llamo Sylvia. Te encontré caído en el suelo contra…(My name is Sylvia. I found you collapsed next to…)” She trailed off, eyes falling on a pile of ash that looked to have been swept together. “…maestro Eloy. (…Master Eloy.)” She flinched as she said his name, and Metzli understood immediately why she helped, why she looked relieved to be looking at his remains.

“Gracias, Sylvia.” Metzli groaned as they sat up, realizing they were in what used to be Eloy’s bed. Sylvia shuffled to their side and they winced, waiting for an attack. It never came. “No te voy a maltratar. Estoy aliviada que ya no me pueda tocar. (I’m not going to hurt you. I’m relieved he can’t touch me again.)” Silently, Metzli nodded and the dryness of their throat settled in. “¿Cuanto tiempo tengo dormido? (How much time have I been asleep?)” They asked worriedly. Sylvia swallowed thickly and looked concerned. Raising a finger, she shuffled to a table and returned with a bowl of fresh blood. They took it immediately and wolfed it down.

“Hace como seis días. Todos piensan que el maestro Eloy te está torturando aquí. Pero van a sospechar si nos quedamos. (It’s been about six days. Everyone thinks that Master Eloy is torturing you in here. But, they’re going to be suspicious if we stay here.)” Sylvia’s words were barely above a whisper, and Metzli choked on the blood. “¡¿Seis días?!” They inhaled the rest of the blood and tried to rise fully but fell back in agony. “Necesito—celular. ¿Hay un celular?” (I need—cellphone. Is there a cellphone?)” Sylvia nodded and pulled one from the nightstand. It was Eloy’s. Taking the cellphone, Metzli immediately got online and signed into their account. So many messages were popping up and their stomach dropped. The packages were sent. Their friends thought they were dead. With a trembling hand, they dialed for someone, a friend who might be the only one who could get them and this stranger to safety. The trill of the line made them uneasy, made their body tense despite the pain it caused. When a click sounded, they let out a soft gasp and spoke with a rasp, “Bex?”

Bex didn’t know what she expected when she saw the unknown number on her phone screen. She didn’t usually answer those kinds of calls, but something compelled her to answer this one. Maybe it was Mina. Maybe it was someone unknown calling her about Mina. Maybe it was someone who could fix everything that had happened, bring her girlfriend-- her fiancee-- back to her. Or her dead friend, or, fuck, anything about her life just a week ago when it was all going fine. Going great. She wanted that life back. She felt like she was never going to get that life back.

And then she heard Metzli’s voice on the other end of the phone. “M-Metzli?” she didn’t believe it at first, surely she was just imagining things. Hearing their voice because her heart ached and she missed them and she needed something good in her life. “I thought-- you were-- you-- the packages. Metzli, is it--?” she felt tears already welling up in her eyes. Her voice was already cracking. “Is it really you? Please, is it really you, Metzli?”

A choked sob escaped their throat and Metzli nodded their head feverishly despite Bex not being able to see it. “It’s me. I just woke up. I’ve been out for six days.” Their voice became a whimper at the end and they had to cover their mouth to prevent a wail from developing. It hurt so much to speak, but they had to continue. “He’s…” Eyes fell onto the pile of ash and they could feel their body tense just before relaxing again. “I killed him. Nell got away. But he got me and—sorry. Forget it.” There was so much to say but they weren’t sure how much she wanted to hear. She sounded so distraught and that didn’t sit right with them.

“I…I’m stuck here. Is there any way you can summon me back or something? I don’t have any documentation on me and I…” Metzli trailed off, feeling uneasy about asking for help, for a favor when they should be able to help themselves. But at that moment, they knew they were helpless. Bex was probably their only hope of getting back with or without magic.

Bex couldn’t help but let out a sob, clasping her hand over her mouth to keep from being too loud. It was them, it was really them. Metzli was alive. The first good news Bex had had in days. “You killed him? Eloy? He-- he’s dead? You did it?” Words were falling out of her mouth like drabble, water pouring from a cup. “No, no, no. Don’t be sorry, don’t-- it’s okay. You’re alive and that’s all that matters. I-- you’re alive.” She had to sit down immediately, running her hand through her hair. “S-stuck? I-- I don’t know how to do summoning magic and Nell still isn’t back, she got stuck somewhere cause the spell went wrong.”

Bex looked around. She had to do something, she had to get them back here. She had to help them. “I-- is there an airport near you? One that lands private jets?”

“Y-yeah. I did it. I don’t know how, but I did. And this woman,” Metzli glanced up to Sylvia and swallowed thickly. “She helped me. I think she was tired of master—of him.” They almost got angry at themselves, irritated that even at that moment, they couldn’t stop themselves. Anger slipped away at the sound of all of Bex’s sobs. Despite both of their state’s, her voice was the best thing that had happened in days, and it was only a matter of time that they would be together again.

Covering the microphone, they looked at Sylvia. “¿Hay un aeropuerto? ¿Una privada? (Is there an airport? A private one?)” With widened eyes, Sylvia nodded enthusiastically, excited and desperate at the prospect of getting away. “The woman says there is. How soon can it get here? I don’t know how much longer we can pretend Eloy is alive. I also…I’m pretty hurt. The less people on the plane the better.” Metzli was speaking rushedly, scared that they’d be somehow cut off. “God, it feels so good to hear your voice. I miss you so much. I miss everyone so much.”

“You did it,” Bex said, still sobbing, “you did it. You did it. Metzli, you did it. Thank you. Whoever helped you, tell them thank you. Thank you so much.” She wiped at her eyes, tried to stop the sniffling. “I’m sorry. I need to stop-- private. Yes. Private.” She started sifting through stuff in her room, setting the phone down for a moment as she pulled a box from her closet, throwing folders out as she looked for the right one. “Yes, yes, I can--” she scoured through the papers in the folder and found what she was looking for. “Just-- give me a minute. Can I call you back? I need to call someone else.” She hated the idea of it, but she had a way, thanks to her family’s money, thanks to their business. Being big shot lawyers with branches around the country meant they had a private jet on command. She hated the idea of her privilege, but if she could use it to help someone, then she would. She had to. It was the only good use of it.

“I did it.” They joined Bex in her cries, letting their own hot tears stream down their cheeks. Eloy was gone. All they needed to do now was get home. Nodding, they listened as the line clicked to end. A shaky sigh escaped their lips and they rushed to get up. “Necesitamos empezar a irnos. (We need to pack and leave.)” Metzli said with a groan, stumbling on weak legs. Sylvia hooked their arm around her and guided them to the clothes they were wearing before they passed out. “Gracias.” Some of their strength was returning thanks to the blood, but they were nowhere near full strength.

Metzli took the last of the blood Sylvia offered and managed to stand on their own. Their body screamed, begging to be given more, but they had to make the blood be enough. They had to remain in control. Once the pair was ready, they secured their backpack with a wince and settled back on the bed to wait for Bex’s call. The absence of her voice made everything feel so much heavier. Eyes stared intently at the phone, hoping the call came soon.

Bex made the call quickly and of course someone answered right away. All she had to do was give them a name-- Oxendine, it tasted like blood in her mouth-- and they had a jet secured and ready to send wherever and pick up whoever. They gave her the exact time and place and Bex  wrote it all down before texting the info to the phone Metzli had called from. Then she dialed and waited for the line to ring. She needed to hear their voice again, to know that it was real. To know she wasn’t making something up in her distressed, sorrowful state. “Metzli?” she said again when the line picked up. “Did you-- I texted you the info. To this number. It’ll be there in a couple of hours, um-- about six. I’m sorry it can’t come sooner, but you can wait at the airport in the lounge. Just give them the name and password I sent you, okay? I-- I’m gonna get you home, I promise. You’re coming home.”

Right after the text came through with all the necessary information, Bex’s call came through and they inhaled a deep breath. “I’m here.” Metzli sounded a little better, no longer having a bitterly dry throat. “I got the information. Thank you. Thank you.” Home. That’s all Metzli wanted. They just wanted to be home. A sob broke through and they had to do their best to cough it away. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be home soon. I’m sorry this happened.” The line was silent for a few moments, only broken to say goodbye and extend their love.

The location Bex sent would take three hours to get to, so the vampires had to get started. “Vámonos. Vas a ir conmigo. Ya no necesitas quedarte aquí. (Let’s go. You’re coming with me. You don’t need to stay here anymore.)” Sylvia shook her head, smiling warmly. “No. No puedo. Necesito ayudar a los vampiros perdidos. Ellos necesitan alguien amable. (No. I can’t. I need to stay for the lost ones. They need someone kind.)” Metzli understood and didn’t fight her on it. With Eloy gone, several vampires would be lost, would need guidance. They gave Sylvia a single nod and let themselves be guided carefully to Eloy’s balcony. “Gracias.” Metzli bowed respectfully and then bound over the second floor to head to the airport.

When the jet finally arrived, Metzli was struggling to not attack, but they held back and gave all the necessary information. They practically bolted into the plane, holding their nose shut to not take in any scent of blood. Body shook from the tension and pain, but they needed to remain calm. They were so close to being home and that brought enough comfort to help their body relax. In a matter of seconds, the meditative state they learned to call sleep took over.

Bex rushed to the car and to the airport because she needed to be there to pick up Metzli. She could’ve called a car for them, but this felt better. She needed to see them. She paced the airport lounge while she waited, she couldn’t sit still. The steward kept asking her if she needed anything, water or a snack or a drink. Bex didn’t have time to stop and say no, but she didn’t say yes, either. She just kept pacing and worrying and running hands through her hair, looking towards the tarmac, waiting. She hated waiting. She was never really impatient, but she hated waiting right now.

Finally, the plane landed and pulled up and Bex leapt from her spot and over to the doors, bouncing in her spot. And the second Metzli was through the door, Bex raced up to them and threw her arms around them tightly and she was already crying, burying herself in the vampire. “I thought you were dead,” she sobbed, “I thought I’d never see you again.”

The moment Bex came into view, Metzli’s eyes cascaded a waterfall of tears and their breath hitched considerably. It felt so surreal to have her in front of them. “I thought I was dead too. I can’t believe you’re real.” Their arms draped around her carefully, tightening as her cries grew louder. All they wanted to do was take her pain away, but they had to settle for paying her kindness with comfort. It didn’t matter that it caused their ribs to shake and tender skin to burn. She was all that mattered, home was what mattered.

As all the smells of people hit them, their grip tightened but they didn’t lose control. Metzli’s throat constricted painfully, but even then, the comfort of being home kept them stable. “Can we go home? I need to eat…and…people are staring.” Their hand gestured to their body and face, all of it painted with Eloy’s final masterpiece. Victory was theirs, and even if it came at such a great cost, it was one they were happy to pay.

“I’m real,” Bex said, exasperated, “I’m real and you’re real and you’re here and you’re not dead and I missed you. I missed you so much.” She missed having something normal. She missed having someone. She missed Mina. She missed Mina so god damn much and she knew she was projecting that ache and loss onto her sorrow over Metzli, but she couldn’t help it. She needed someone, and Morgan was great, of course she was, but Morgan was a mother, she needed a friend. She sniffled and pulled away and wiped at her eyes. “Sorry, sorry, I--” she glanced around as Metzli gestured and she shook her head. “Right, yeah, let’s--” she took Metzli’s hand. “Let’s go.”

She pulled them away from the door, towards the exit where the car was waiting for them. “Here, let me take your stuff,” she opened the trunk and held her hands out for the bag they had. She finally got a look at Metzli, at the condition they were in and she felt tears again. “God, what happened to you…”

Metzli yelped as the backpack slid off of their shoulder, grazing the deep stab wound Eloy had given them. “A lot,” Their gaze averted quickly and they limped themselves towards the passenger side to sit down. They didn’t bother with the seatbelt, it wasn’t necessary. Besides that, lifting their arms already proved too difficult. A ball formed in their throat as they sat inside. Being in Bex’s car felt so heavy yet so freeing. Returning home had taken such precedence that they hadn’t taken the time to fully accept everything that had happened, everything they had experienced. No matter how much they swallowed and choked back their emotions, they demanded to be felt.

Their hand gripped tightly onto their knee and they fell forward, crying into their hand. Metzli wailed and let themselves feel every emotion in between good and bad. “Mast—he chained—” They couldn’t finish. Their voice became consumed by cryful hiccups and soft sobs they attempted to stifle. “I fought. I fought.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry!” Bex said, panicking a moment as she heard Metzli yelp. “Here, here, sit down.” She opened the passenger door and motioned for them to have a seat. She could tell something was welling up inside of them, she could see it in their face. She knew because she felt it, too, stabbing deep inside of her. Emotions that would not hide, that you could not let go of or stuff down. They were screaming to be heard and seen and shown but Bex couldn’t put all her pain on Metzli when they looked like how she felt, and they probably felt the same, too.

They were crumpled over and crying before Bex even stood back up to shut the door. She didn’t know what to say, bending down to kneel and wrap her arms gently around their slumped form. “It’s okay, I know you did, I know. I know you did,” she said, repeating the words because she didn’t know what else to say. “He’s gone. You’re safe. He’s gone. You did it. You’re free.”

After a few long moments, Metzli calmed down enough to speak clearly and look at Bex. Maybe everything wasn’t perfect, but if being home, alive, was as close as they could get, they’d take it. No one, not even Eloy could take their home away. “Thank you for getting me back home. Thank you. I don’t know how I’m ever going to repay you, but I will. I will.” Knowing Bex, they knew she wouldn’t accept, but they had to try anyway. She had given them everything back. Thanks to her, the family they had created didn’t have to lose a member.

The break in between weeps of despair allowed for Bex’s pained visage to become clear. Time was no longer constrained, and Metzli was given the opportunity to feel and consume her energy. She was hurting, and if they thought about it hard enough, they could recall how pained Bex had looked the entire time. Brows furrowed with concern and they sniffled away their distress, “Stuff happened, huh? Let’s—Let’s go. It looks like we both need each other right now.” They gave Bex the biggest smile they could form, which was barely even one to begin with, but it still felt like the biggest lie ever told.

“No, no,” Bex insisted, shaking her head, “you don’t have to pay me back. You don’t. Just-- just having you here alive is thanks enough. Okay?” She stayed where she was until Metzli calmed and she leaned back, sitting on the ledge of the sidewalk and looking up at them. She was exhausted and still worried and wondering, unable to stop any of it. But she could do this, she could be there for them. She swallowed back more tears and nodded, standing up as she shut their door gently and went around to the other side, climbing in. She didn’t turn the car on for a long time.

When Metzli spoke again, she jumped a little, turning to look at them. “No, no, it’s-- I’m okay. I-- let’s just get you home, okay? Just worry about you, right now. I can take you to your place and you can take a nice, warm shower and cuddle Yucca and Milo will be there, and--” Murphy. Bex’s brow furrowed. She still had bruises around her neck from her. “Let’s just go home.” And she started up the car, pulling away from the curb.

“No, I can’t go home like this. I can’t.” Metzli shifted uncomfortably in their seat and ran through all the possibilities in their head. They looked like a literal horror movie in the worst way possible. As much as they wanted to give Milo a giant hug and kiss Yuca’s head, they also didn’t want him to see them in their condition. “Can I—is there any way I can get cleaned up at your place first? Hell, I might need a doctor. I just don’t—I can’t. Not right now. I’ll tell Milo I’m back. I just can’t see him immediately.” It was difficult, but they swallowed their tears and prevented any more from falling for now.

When the car began to move, that’s when it really dawned on them that they were free, that they could finally relax. But then Metzli found that they couldn’t, not fully, when the bruising around Bex’s neck registered. For a brief moment, as they searched for answers, they could smell Murphy’s faint scent on their best friend. A low growl vibrated from their chest, but they kept their composure. “You’ll tell me about who did that to your neck once I’m a little more healed. I’ll take care of that when I’m able to.” Their head fell back onto the headrest and they sighed as their hand extended slowly to Bex. It was a silent request for comfort, to hold their hand as they rested their eyes if she accepted. Cuts, bites, and bruises covered their hand, and even if it hurt to have pressure on the tender skin, they wanted it to be held. They wanted the physical comfort so badly, but didn’t forget the boundaries set before. Even then, they wouldn’t break them.

“I--” Bex started, but stopped herself. She knew Morgan didn’t like Metzli, not very much, and she didn’t think the woman would take well to Bex inviting them into her home. But she didn’t know if she could tell them no. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. “I have a place we can go.” And it wasn’t anywhere she thought she’d ever return, or ever take Metzli, of all people, but she didn’t know where else to go. It was secluded and it had a functioning shower, plus a bed. Bex turned off the road that led into town and instead headed to the road that led to the ferry. She looked over when the car was parked and noticed Metzli’s hand held out for hers. She could see the cuts and bruises on it and worried she might hurt them, but she gently moved her hand over and grabbed theirs, not squeezing but closing her fingers just enough to let them know she was there. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Her mind drifted back to Mina for a moment and she wondered if she was still at the cabin. She’d texted her each day to remind her to soak for at least a few hours-- she wasn’t going to let Mina destroy herself because of this. She wasn’t. She blinked at the sound of Metzli’s voice and she glanced over, having forgotten about the bruises. “It’s-- they’re nothing. It’s okay. Don’t worry about that.” She wasn’t going to come between them like that. She had more important things to worry about. The ferry docked and she started up the car again, before turning down the private road that led back to the manor. Iron gates opened before them and she pulled up to the large front doors, stopping. “We’re here,” she said, glancing over at them. “Do-- do you need help getting out?”

Metzli’s eyes were half-lidded, but they weren’t asleep, they couldn’t. “They’re not nothing. I can smell—never mind.” They groaned and noticed they were at a manor. “Never been here before. What is this place? And…thanks. I just didn’t want Milo to see me like this. I want to heal a little first.” Their free hand reached for the door but they found that they struggled to squeeze it shut for a few moments. Everything began to grow stiff and they whimpered in fear. They needed to hunt, soon. “I can do it. I can.” With a strained and grated sigh, the door finally opened and they let go of Bex’s hand and stumbled out of the vehicle.

“I just want to lay down, okay?” Metzli turned to look at Bex while she was still seated inside. Their eyes were soft and hopeful. “I can smell a few animals nearby, not even a quarter mile away, so I can hunt after I get patched up.” Limping to the door, they stood outside of it, and waited to be invited in. Though they felt happy to be back, exhaustion took over their body and they swayed about. The wall did well to keep them upright for the time being and they smile softly at Bex. She hadn’t stopped looking worried since they arrived. “You can stop looking at me like I’m gonna keel over. I’m alive. And—and you don’t even have to patch me up. I’ll do it myself if you can get me the materials. I don’t want you to see.”

“Please don’t worry about it right now,” Bex insisted quietly, watching them slide out of the car. She looked at them worriedly as they let go of her hand, then she glanced back at the entrance to the orante, large manor stretching out behind it. She hadn’t been back here since her mother’s funeral and she swallowed. “It’s my family home,” she said simply, looking over at Metzli again, “the Oxendine manor.” She opened the door on her side and climbed out stiffly, shutting the door and grabbing Metzli’s bag from the back, shouldering it.

“I, um-- I actually have some animal blood, if you want some. In the trunk. Milo-- Milo needed blood so I had Morgan pick some up on her next visit, too, just in case.” She went over to the trunk and opened it, grabbing one of the containers she’d stuffed under the wheel well and holding it out. She didn’t want to worry Metzli more with news of Milo’s supply being cut off, so she left it at that. She unlocked the front door and swung it open, listening to it groan with age. “You can come in. And of course I’m going to patch you up, idiot. I’m not going to make you do that yourself. And I kind of--” she paused, her eyes growing misty again-- “I kind of need this, too. Please. Just...I need to feel useful.” Since Mina wouldn’t even let Bex be in the same room as her, let alone patch her up or help her. She wiped the tears on the back of her hand. “Please.”

“Oh—but—” They left it alone. There was so much they missed, and it would be a while before they’d get all the information, before they could know what was happening. Rushing it wouldn’t do any good. Besides that, their focus drifted elsewhere. To the blood Bex was carrying. It made their throat constrict and they had to bite their hand firmly to prevent them from attacking the bag she held. Their instincts receded the moment that she called them an affectionate name. “Idiot? You’re the idiot. Trying to patch up a hungry vampire.” A small smile formed along with a chuckle and they managed to let go of their hand, which began to drip black blood as they stepped into the manor and looked at Bex with gentle and concerned eyes.

Bex sounded defeated and the way she pleaded pulled at their chest. It was impossible to reject her offer without it going wrong. “O-okay. Yeah. You can. You can. Um—do you have a sports bra or something? I’m not wearing anything underneath because of everything that happened and master had a lot of fun...” Eyes fell to the ground, knowing they had just rambled, and they slowly walked to the couch to sit down for a moment. A contented sigh spilled out at just how comfortable it was, helping their muscles slacken. Tears pooled once more, feeling absolutely free from Eloy’s grasp. “Fuck. I can’t believe it’s finally over.”

“That’s why I offered the blood,” Bex pointed out, holding it out to them after she shut the doors and came into the foyer. She looked at their face a little more clearly now, under the light of the chandelier in the entrance, and it was full of bruises and cuts and crusted blood. It made her heart ache again and she took the hand they’d bitten down on, pulling a cloth from her pocket and wiping away the black blood that began to ooze. “I’m not worried about that. If you need blood, human blood…” she didn’t say the words, though she knew Metzli knew what she meant. She’d done it once before, and she’d do it again. Anything for a friend.

“Um, probably somewhere,” she said, standing back up and looking towards the staircase. “Do-- do you want to shower first? I can show you to the bathroom and get you some spare clothes while you do that.” She swallowed, trying not to think about the cruelty that Metzli must’ve endured and trying not to think about the cruelty Bex had endured inside these very walls. Or the blood stain that was still at the bottom of the stairs where her mother had fallen limp and dead. She concentrated back on Metzli. “It’s over,” she repeated, “it’s really over.” She held her hand back out. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs. I promise it’s much nicer up there.”

“Are you trying to say I smell?” Metzli attempted to joke, hoping Bex would take the bait and continue the light conversation. It was the most normal they had felt in over a week, and they didn’t want to let it go. They took the blood happily along with her hand, finding so much comfort in it even as they struggled to rise from the couch. Biting into the blood pack sated their need to eat for the time being, and helped alleviate the constriction in their throat. It made it easier to hold her hand and not think about biting her. The last thing they wanted to do was bite Bex, even if she was okay with it. “A shower would be nice. Anywhere is nicer than where I was. I was chained up, and trust me, I give it maybe one star.” It was a poor attempt at a joke, but a joke nonetheless.

The energy in the room felt heavier with their comment, and even heavier as Metzli could smell the old blood that had developed over the years. It saddened them to know that this was possibly a torture ground for their friend. Oxendine Manor. It had to be difficult, and the fact that she was willing to bring them to the place she probably hated the most made them feel a little sick, even if it meant that she truly cared about them. “I’ll probably look better after a shower. Just promise you won’t freak out once you see what’s underneath.” Their voice was a shaky mess with groans of pain littered in it as the stairs put a strain on their body. They had never been so happy to have been able to consume animal blood. It aided their muscle’s repair and kept them from falling apart.

“Yes, absolutely,” Bex said smoothly, even if her voice was still quiet and stuttering. She glanced over at them as they sucked down the blood, hoping it was enough for now. She knew they didn’t want to drink her blood, even if offered, but if it was an emergency, they didn’t really have a choice. Bex didn’t mind. As they came up to her old bedroom, she paused a moment, staring at the slightly ajar door. She hadn’t gone into her room when she was last here, she didn’t remember what state it was in aside from derelict and full of boxes. She pushed on the door after a moment. “I think I’d rate it negative stars, if it were me,” she said back. The room inside was what she’d imagined it might be. The closet was mostly stripped empty, save for a few pieces, the dresser left open, boxes around the bed and on the floor. She moved one out of the way and pointed towards a door in the back corner.

“The bathroom is through there. There’s a tub and a shower, so go for whichever you want. Um--” she spun in her spot a little, digging through one of the boxes. “I don’t have any sweats here, but I’ve got some shorts and a t-shirt if that’s okay?” She turned to face Metzli again, holding the clothes up. “I won’t, I promise. I just want to help.”

“If you’re here, then it’s automatically five stars.” With a single nod and smile, they headed towards the bathroom and turned to Bex before heading in. “I’ll just cover my chest when I’m done if that’s okay with you. There’s a few open wounds.” Metzli took the clothes and closed the door, turning the water on quickly and removing their ripped garments to hop inside. The hot water soothed every wound and every tense muscle, making them feel relaxed in a way they didn’t expect. Being alert and ready for an attack was no longer necessary. All they had to do was let go and let their friend take care of them.

When they finally came back out of the bathroom, the clothes were tight around their body, a little too small for their frame. But it felt good to finally be clean, to wash away most of what Eloy painted on their skin. Wounds already began to bleed through the clothes, darkening them as they walked about. “I think I might need stitches.” They muttered. “Um…master—I mean—Eloy got a little knife happy. A little deep.” Metzli couldn’t lock eyes with Bex, and they settled for holding her hand once more so she could guide them to the appropriate spot. The bruising was a little more visible now that they washed away the grime on their body, and even they had grimaced during the quick glance in the bathroom mirror. “Thank you. I’m really glad I’m home.” Their words were a little muttered and hollow, finding it difficult to fight through the pain they felt on a level that transcended physical. “Where do you want me to be, Dr. Bex? You’re the boss right now.”

Bex set about organizing the room a bit as she waited for Metzli to finish showering. Her nerves were beginning to return now that she was alone in her bedroom. No, her old bedroom. This was not her home, and it was, arguably, never actually her home anyway. She stacked most of the boxes in the corner and came back to the closet, shuffling through the clothes that were still hanging in it, just old dresses and blouses that she didn’t have much attachment to because her mother had picked them for her. She went back downstairs for a moment and searched through the supplies in the kitchen for the big first-aid kit and the sutures, before coming back upstairs and setting up stuff on the bed.

When Metzli came out of the bathroom, she perked up, trying to forget about the dark thoughts that were trying to crowd her mind being back here. But her face fell when she saw all the wounds on them, and it reminded her of all the times she’d look in the mirror and see nothing but bruises and swollen eyes. She remembered all the times Mina came home looking battered, and she remembered all the times she’d seen Metzli torn up. “Just...over here is fine,” she said, motioning to the bed. She started gathering up the supplies she’d need, taking stock. “There’s uh-- pain meds, if you want them. I don’t know if they work for you, but they’re there if you want them.”

“They probably won’t work,” Metzli stated a little dejectedly. “Pain meds don’t usually take. But if you can get the wounds sealed up, that would…help a lot.” They gave her a smile, and even if it was weak in comparison to what they gave her before, it was better than nothing. It was better than giving into the gravity of the situation before them. They took careful steps and slowly got to the bed, letting out a soft groan they sat down. The bed gave a generous reprieve to their muscles and they settled into the soft surface, removing their shirt strategically while covering their chest.

A slew of contusions and lacerations were presented to Bex so she could do what she needed as they did their best to accommodate. “If you can seal everything up quickly, I’ll be forever grateful. I just don’t want my people to be sad.” They shrugged with a soft groan and closed their eyes as they slowly laid back. “And just so you know, those people include you.” Another smile tugged at their lips half heartedly, trying their best to latch onto any lightness in the room. They thought maybe they had tried to smile too much given the circumstances, but they couldn’t help wanting to alleviate what pressure they could. It was helping them hold on, helping them keep their inner beast at bay as it rattled within them. It wanted to be sated, but Metzli wouldn't allow it. Even as they laid there without much blood in their system, they kept their composure, holding onto everything Bex meant to them. “Are you doing okay?”

Bex nodded and set to work, carefully weaving the suture into the deepest cuts first. It was a scary thought to realize that she was so good at this now simply because she’d done it so much. It was out of necessity that Bex had developed this skill, and the thought alone made her heart clench. Her friends were hurt so often and she still couldn’t do anything to help them, to keep them safe. She couldn’t even keep herself safe. She thought about the Torple and how Cassidy had gotten hurt helping her, and Toni. And she thought about how many times Metzli had gotten hurt for her and all the times Mina had, too. She pushed the thought away and concentrated, moving on to another open wound.

“Just hold still, I’m almost done,” she said, grabbing some gauze patches and covering up the worst of the cuts once they were stitched back together. She finished up as quickly as she could without causing too much discomfort, before she sat back up and let out a long breath. “I’m okay,” she answered and began cleaning up the supplies and the bloody clothes she’d used to clean the wounds. “Just lay down and try and rest, okay?”

Metzli only shook lightly and whimpered a handful of times. Nothing would be as painful as being in Eloy’s grasp, and nothing would be as comforting as having their friend take care of them. Bex was even better than the last time she patched them up, and that worried them a little, but the feeling quickly numbed itself. She had to have patched up too many of her friends by now, and if they had a soul to feel deep enough with, they would be saddened by that. “Thanks, Bex. Really. Thank you.” They turned to cover their torso with the shirt, and then immediately sank into the bed to lay back fully.

Anxiety pricked their skin, and they inhaled deeply to calm it. But the anxiety demanded to be felt, growing even harsher as Bex appeared like she might possibly leave the room. “Wait!” Metzli called out worriedly, sitting up too quickly and hurting themselves. It was like a child begged, and they looked down at their hands. Embarrassment washed over them, but they pushed it away, trying to be unashamed for asking for one more thing. Something they decided they’d stop being ashamed to ask for as they flew back home. “Can you stay? L-lay with me? I don’t…I don’t want to be alone.” Eyes pleaded desperately, but they also apologized for such a heavy request. “You don’t have to. You can just stay in the room. I just don’t want to be…alone.” Tears welled in their eyes and they hastily brushed them away, looking down, waiting to be scolded for asking for too much. That wasn’t Bex’s nature, but it was the mindset they couldn’t break free from yet.

“Of course,” Bex said, giving a gentle smile, or what could maybe pass for one in the dim light of the room. She turned to toss the bandages into one of the trash boxes when Metzli called out and she paused, looking back at them. They looked scared and small, laying on the bed, covered in bandages with half-lidded eyes they could barely keep open. Vampires didn’t even sleep and she could tell they were tired beyond a physical ache. She let out a breath and nodded. “I’ll stay,” she said, setting the trash down and making her way back over. Admittedly, she hadn’t wanted to leave, either. She needed someone, too. She wouldn’t say it, but she did. She missed being held, she missed being with Mina. She missed her life where things were easy and she could be happy. She didn’t get that life anymore, not after everything that had happened.

She crawled onto the bed and laid herself down gently next to Metzli, making sure she didn’t disturb them and injure them on accident. Turning onto her side, she moved as close as she could without hurting them. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she muttered, “I missed you.”

[stones-x-bones]

Harm-nival (Part 2) || Bex and Murphy

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @riseofmurphy SUMMARY: Trapped inside the mirrors, Bex and Murphy try and hash things out. Key word ‘try’. CONTENT: Domestic abuse mentions, Emotional abuse mentions, Assault

“They’re allowed to feel.” For fucks sake this was beginning to get tiresome. “But I don’t know if you’ve noticed, they’re not exactly handling that well!” Murphy’s mind flashed back to the night she had kept an eye on them while they hunted. Fear and worry had been a constant prickle within the back of her mind, a worry that turned about to be founded as she had watched in horror as they almost allowed someone to stake them. In that moment her heart had almost broken, nearly shredded. Until her howl had pierced the air and they had done what needed doing. That thought haunted her every time they weren’t together. Her worry for them no longer slept. She was on constant alert and though her body was built to withstand, she could not deny that her mind had begun to fray. “Perhaps instead of having a go at me, you ought to be grateful that I’ve been around to save them from themselves.” The words were venom dipped in ice. Murphy could feel the magic as it melted into the air an almost suffocating energy that pounded forcefully against the small space that the two figures occupied. Her spine grew stiff and as she could hear the girl’s lungs beginning to give out she released her and let her body drop unceremoniously into a heap on the floor. Only the floor was no longer a floor. 

It was the final straw. “What did you do!” Her voice came out in a shriek that emptied into long howl. The voice of the wolf was full of fear. It was unlike her… but this was something she could not understand beyond the knowledge that they were no longer in the physical world. No longer in Metzli’s world. An anguished cry pulled from the whiskered snout again full of the worry and anguish she felt. What if the two were unable to become free by nightfall? They were safe during the day, when the sun lit up the sky like a thousand combined stars, but what would happen at night when she was not there to keep watch? Frantically the white furred beast began to pace, back and forth back and forth. A growl filled the air each time she passed Bex, green lupine eyes fixed onto her, the meaning behind them clear. Fix this.

Bex stayed laying on the ground for a while, while her vision and her breath slowly came back to her. She fumbled through her bag blindly and pulled out the small vial of pills, popping it open. Stuck two in her mouth, swallowed, waited. She let out a long, exasperated breath and after a long while, sat herself up. The world around them was dark, stretching on infinitely. In front of them was the mirror, and beyond it, stretched more outlines of mirrors, the opposite of the world outside them. They were inside the mirror, Bex knew that much, she remembered the feel of it enveloping her as she’d tumbled through. She thought maybe they’d just keep falling, into a void that never ended, further and further away from the world where her life existed. But she’d hit the ground as soon as the other girl had let go of her neck, and Bex still wheezed for breath and words. 

“I’ll never be grateful to someone who thinks violence is an answer,” she managed to rasp out, rolling onto her side to push herself up to a sit. Brown eyes made contact with green ones and Bex couldn’t help but let out a scream, sinking away from the mirror world and falling back into the alley, with Kyle. With Frank, with Eloy. With all the shadows, the people, who had torn her apart and tried to rip away the safety she so longed to feel. 

The wolf was pacing, though, and Bex eventually calmed herself enough to stop clenching in fear. She blinked away the alley and fought to stay in the present world, even if it was a nothingness that felt suffocating. “We’re inside the mirror,” she answered finally, voice cracking. “I didn’t do this.” Standing, slowly, she limped over to the mirror they’d fallen through and pressed her palms flat against it, pushing as if it might give again, turn to liquid. But nothing happened. The glass shards in her leg were painful, but if she removed them, the bleeding would never stop and she had nothing to quell it with. “Can you-- please be human again?” she asked, not chancing a look back at the wolf.

A warning snap of the wolf’s jaws echoed through the empty infinity that stretched around the two. The girl was so stubborn. She appeared to cling to her ideals, despite the evidence to the contrary that surrounded her life. It was annoying and it made Murphy’s skin itch with irritation. Still, she was careful not to direct her teeth in the direction of the witch. She had no desire to babysit a new wolf. Let alone one she longed to tear limb from limb. Especially considering it was her fault they were stuck in this place. 

We’re inside the mirror. Her eyes rolled. Wow. Fantastic. What a brilliant observation. At the next words spoken, there was a bark of derision at the girl’s request. Was she truly so untuned with the supernatural world she was a part of? The wolf would not recede until Murphy’s heightened emotional state decreased to a point where she felt comfortable enough to part with the skin that better served to protect her. When it was clear there were no points of exit, the she-wolf contented herself with sitting on watch. She took care to sit as far from Bex as possible. Though she felt in control of her urges it never hurt to be too careful. 

It seemed like ages that the two sat there, frustrated with each other’s company. There would be no companionable meeting of the minds here, only resentment and blame. A blame that Murphy placed squarely on Bex’s shoulders. She was a witch. It was her job to get them out of here, seeing as how it must have been her fault that they were stuck here to begin with. Various people passed before them, seeming to stare right at them, but in reality they could not see what was behind the reflection. On an occasion someone’s eyes would gloss over, clearly seeing something other than a mere copy of their features. After what felt like hours, Murphy finally shifted back into human skin. Though not shy, she still chose to cover up with the clothes that had slipped off during her change to wolf. It wouldn’t do to slip back into the world nude. That would certainly raise more than a few red flags. 

A sigh of pure loathing parted from pink lips. “Can you just hurry up and get us out of here?”

Bex curled up in what she was pretending was a corner, tucking her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them to burrow her head in while she waited in silence. She couldn’t look at the wolf without seeing Kyle, without seeing the alleyway, without seeing blood and pain and death. And she hated it. But there wasn’t much she could do about it right now, not with the wolf pacing, and the sitting, and then waiting, just like her. She didn’t know how much time had passed until she heard the other girl shifting back. She didn’t look up quite yet, not ready to see it. Not ready to see her. She could hear the disdain, the bite in the girl’s words-- she blamed Bex for this and Bex didn’t know why. She was the one who had slammed her against the mirror, shattered the other one. She was the one who had messed with the balanced magicks that likely kept this place the way it was. 

“Yeah, sure,” Bex finally said, uncurling. “I’ll fix the mess you got us into. Let me just snap my fingers and click my heels together two times to undo the magic I so clearly used to put us in here. As if I’d choose to get stuck in this hellhole with you.” She’d never been more angry at someone before, not even her mom. And she didn’t even really know why.  Still, she pushed herself up to stand, limping back over towards the single mirror-- the mirror they’d fallen through-- and feeling around it again. She could sense the magic wafting from it, feel it in her fingertips when she touched the backside of the mirror. Shivering, she pulled her hands back. She didn’t know what to do. It was likely nighttime by now, which meant people were looking for her. Especially Mina. Gods, Mina was probably freaking out about now, wasn’t she? Bex pulled out her phone and tried to check it, but it beeped in the telltale ‘No Service’ sound and she sighed, flopping back to the ground. She stretched her leg out and prodded around the spot where the shard of glass was impaled in her leg. 

“I don’t know how to get us out,” she finally admitted, “this isn’t...my area of expertise.” 

Murphy’s eyes were trained predatorialy upon the girl as she moved. Iris’s of a rich green almost seemed to glow in the darkness behind the mirror. The darkness the two of them were now trapped in. As far as Murphy was concerned, this incident was not her fault. She had been provoked, and those unintelligent enough to poke at the beast would be forced to deal with the consequences. Still, it wasn’t as though she wanted to deal with them herself. And now the one responsible could not even help. Her lip curled back from her teeth. “God, what could anyone ever want with someone so useless?” The words were intended to be vicious, coated in ice that was designed to pierce the heart. “And you think you have what it takes to help my Metzli?” A cruel laugh filled the air. “You’re too weak to help anyone.” 

She began to pace once more and as bare feet padded furiously onto the hollow floor, low growls and grumbles left her chest with each step. “You can’t even get us out of an area cloaked in magic. Something you’re supposed to be good at.” Murphy scoffed. “And somehow you think that you can give a member of my pack advice on how to survive against a monster. When you cannot even defend yourself against your own craft. Say what you will about me, and I know you have plenty to say. But fighting to defend those that belong to you, those that you love, is always the best option. I do not know what idiotic ideas you have floating around in that tiny brain of yours, but I can assure you they are not enough to stop an almost ancient vampire.” 

Murphy stopped her pacing to crouch down in front of Bex. Her legs rested on either side of the girl, their faces inches apart. As she began to speak her lips pulled back, baring her teeth as growls undercut every spoken syllable. “Until you learn what it means to live in a world full of monsters, stay away from what is mine.” 

“Why are you such an asshole?” Bex snapped, standing up. She watched the other girl pace, not really hearing her words. They didn’t mean anything to Bex, anyway, even if they did bite at her insecurities. She was trying not to show it, trying not to show that her anger was getting to Bex. “And they’re not your Metzli! You don’t own them. They’re not even in love with you! They probably just pity you,” she spat, and she didn’t know where this anger was coming from. Or maybe she did. Maybe this was exactly how her mother used to always talk to her and Bex was tired, so tired, of letting people push her around like this. “I might be weak, but at least I don’t put my problems on everyone else to solve. You got us into this, not me. You’re the one that broke the mirror!” 

The girl was getting more frustrated and not doing a single thing to help, so Bex sat back down in a huff, folding her arms over her chest. “I never said I was good at magic. I haven’t had my entire life to practice like some people have. And no one belongs to anyone. You’re so fucking up your own ass.” She grit her teeth. “Fuck you.” 

Bex looked away when the girl crouched in front of her and tried her best to calm her rapidly beating heart. She kept her jaw clenched, arms taught, ready to defend herself if she needed to. Magic prickled at her fingertips. But that was the last straw. Bex surged forward and shoved Murphy back. “They’re not yours!” she screamed, and purple magic erupted from her hands, billowing around them. “And you don’t know anything about me! You have no idea what world I’ve lived in! You think I don’t know monsters?” she yelled. “I know exactly what they look like, and not just because I’m looking at one right now.”

“They’re mine because they’re my pack.” Murphy released the words in a snarl that seemed to vibrate the nothing the two were trapped in. She watched the purple magic creep toward her as it filled the air, and she laughed. “Do you honestly think that to call me a monster is supposed to offend me?” A cruel smirk danced across her lips as she reached forward to dig her fingertips into the girl’s throat once more. “I was born a monster. I was taught to hide what I am, who I am by those who don’t understand what it means. What I am is something designed to kill, maim, entreat death. I thrive off of it. The wolf and I are one and the same. And I am fucking proud of that. And you?” She snorts. “You will never understand the pleasure that comes from draining the life out of something; of feeling it wither and fade as you take it’s life because it is so fucking inconsequential to yours. And if you are honestly telling yourself that they don’t partake in that desire, then you’re fooling yourself. Worse yet, you’re fooling them by allowing them to think you’re okay with what they are.” As Murphy’s grip on Bex’s neck loosened enough for the other to take in a decent amount of air, she uses the movement to drag clawed fingers down her neck. They leave behind a trail of bright crimson, one that she leant into as teeth just barely graze against the surface of her skin. Not enough to penetrate, but enough to perpetuate fear. 

“The only reason I have chosen not to kill you is for their sake. You mean something to them, though I cannot begin to fathom why. Which means that you get to live. However should anything happen to them…” Murphy leans in conspiritorially, the words she speaks a sweet croon. “You’ll be my first stop.” She was close to her threshold and she knew it. Any more time spent trapped with this girl and she might not be able to keep control of herself. 

Without a warning she strode to the mirror that depicted the outside world and shoved her fist through. The force of it lodged glass into the tanned skin of her arm and blood began to weep down from the wounds. Before she there was even a chance to glance down at the damage the world had righted itself. Though there was something different, everything was quiet. No eerie carnival music pricked her senses, and the smell of humans eating overly fried and fatty food was distant. Time had passed differently within the world of the mirror. With quick feet she strode to the entrance of the fun house. On the ground a few feet from where she came out was a trash can, and fairly close to the top a newspaper fluttered. It was pulled from the rubbish, sending half eaten sandwiches and almost empty drink cups flying everywhere. No sooner had her eyes taken in the date was the paper tossed in the general direction of her unfortunate companion. Green hues flashed and lips barred from teeth. “Two days.”

“That doesn’t make them yours,” Bex retorted angrily. She stiffened as fingers curled around her neck again and wondered if she’d actually do it this time, just snap her neck. Or cut her artery. Rip out her throat. She had the power to. She had the motive. In Bex’s eyes, Murphy was nothing but a monster. She didn’t know how to see her otherwise, with her violence and her anger and the painful marks she’d left on Metzli’s body. She didn’t struggle. What Murphy didn’t know was that Bex did understand that. She saw her mother’s face draining in her nightmares every night. She heard her wretched screams, her angry voice, her gurgling chokes. And sometimes her eyes would open again and she’d reach out and strangle Bex back until they were both dead. “Not everyone is cruel and heartless like you,” she muttered. Bex clenched her teeth against nails on her skin, drawing blood. She didn’t know what she’d done to this girl to make her hate her so much, but she wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing her pain or her fear, even as teeth hovered just above her neck. Bex knew what a werewolf bite meant. She feared it more than a zombie’s bite or a vampire’s. 

But the girl relented and let her go and backed away. Bex let out a breath of relief. “Bold of you to assume you could kill me so easily,” she grumbled, rubbing her throat, using the sleeve of her jacket to staunch the bleeding. She stayed sitting as the other girl smashed at the mirror, loosened by the blasts of magic Bex had let free. She could have so easily reached out and torn this girl’s mind asunder-- she had wanted to, as well, she had wanted to-- but she refrained. Her fist curled up. She looked away as the mirror shattered, waiting for the girl to step out before she followed her. The eerie emptiness of the carnival made Bex shiver, the air felt stale. She’d barely noticed how void the mirror world had been, no sound except their own voices, no smell, no heat no cold. Just nothingness. She pulled her jacket closer around her as the paper was tossed at her, picking it up to see for herself. They’d lost an entire day. It was two mornings later. Bex sank to a sit at one of the benches. Pulled out her phone, ignoring the other girl. She finally had a signal. There were so many missed calls and messages and voicemails. Bex tapped Mina’s name and looked up at Murphy. “Just go home,” she grumbled, “before anyone else gets here and sees what you did.”

“If I was heartless I wouldn’t care about them. I just don’t give a shit about people who don’t matter.” To enunciate her point green hues roved over the disheveled appearance of Bex. 

At the girl’s next words Murphy turned around. “You say that as though you think killing is the worst thing I could do to you.” She laughed and the sound came out high and cold, a hair’s breadth away from evil. “There are so many worse things than death. For instance there’s the death of someone you love. Or I suppose I could always turn you. Now that would be iconic. The monster hater turned into the monster. Maybe then you’d have some iota of understanding for the creatures you loathe.”

“You say that as if anyone other than your rag-tag group of friends would actually believe you.” Murphy’s body was already tense and coiled to spring from the anxiety that welled up inside of her. It flowed from an invisible tap and filled her to the brim. The only thought on her mind now was Metzli. Two days they had been gone, anything could have happened. A desire to retort to Bex roared within her; it vied for her attention, but was ultimately shoved down over the concern for her friend and the fear she felt balled within her chest. Her body quivered with adrenaline and when she opened her mouth a long howl tore from between her teeth, first human and then canine. The distress she felt was obvious to see in the way that the wolf moved. Shoulders were hunched with her tail held high over her body. With a backwards glance and a growl, she took off into the woods that boarded the carnival, thankful to not be hearing the sound of the sinister carnival music. 

[stones-x-bones]

Walking On A Dream || Bex and Mina

TIMING: Friday Night PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable and @inbextween SUMMARY: Bex and Mina have a nice date, for once. Things might finally be looking up. CONTENT: Domestic abuse mentions, Homophobia (this part is labeled)

"Will you come travel with me? Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?" -- Walt Whitman

It took Mina five outfits (one of which was a suit) before she actually settled on what she wanted to wear. And it wasn’t from nerves. For once, it wasn’t from nerves. She was just excited, but she didn’t like the way that this top fit, or she wasn’t sure about those trousers, or she didn’t have any shoes to go with that dress. She ended up going for simple: a black dress with long sleeves that showed off her legs and heels. Black tie worthy, she was pretty sure or, at least, was assured several times as she pulled her hair back and kept checking over herself to make sure she didn’t want to change her mind. But she didn’t. Change her mind. Or, if she did, she didn’t stick with it because it was already getting too late and Mina didn’t want to keep Bex waiting, despite the fact that they stayed in the same house and slept in the same room. So she went into the living room and sat down and waited for Bex to come down the steps so that Mina could kiss her and then they could go to their fancy dinner and talk and have a nice time.

Bex was actually very excited and optimistic about the night. Things finally felt like they were looking up. Roy had backed off, Eloy was being taken care of, and Mina seemed much more relaxed and happy since going out with Caoimhe. Bex knew it was something to do with the mushroom thing, Mina had told her about how it’d affected her the first time, and Morgan had told her fae had a thing about mushrooms, but it was still nice to see. It made Bex happy, too, to see Mina so happy. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen her this happy. Bex had had an outfit picked out for tonight since she’d first suggested them going somewhere nice. It was a long, pastel lavender pink dress, with a hip length slit, and a nice black blazer over top. If there was one thing Bex retained from her old life, it was dressing up. And it was something she did actually enjoy, something from that life that her parents had never been able to take from her. 

Once she finished her makeup and hair, she gave one last look in the mirror, before grabbing her coat and heading down the stairs. She found Mina waiting for her in the living room, and she skipped over to her, circling her arms around her. “Ready?” she asked excitedly, eyes sparkling. Tonight was gonna be a good night, she could just feel it.

Mina’s smile widened as Bex walked over, and she returned the gesture, wrapping her arms around Bex and pulling back enough to look her over, taking her in. She was so lovely. Mina thought Bex was the loveliest person in the world, and she herself was the luckiest person in the world for getting to keep her. “Yes,” she said, “I am.” She pulled away and took Bex’s hands in her own, spinning her so that she could get a look at her dress. She was so pretty, and Mina was so lucky, and it was incredible that she’d gotten this lucky. It was incredible that things were going as well as they were. “You’re just really amazing, you know that?” Mina asked. She squeezed Bex’s hands before letting go of one long enough to grab her bag and her keys. “Want to tell me where we’re going?”

Bex gave a small, startled oh, as Mina spun her and her dress fluttered around her. She couldn’t help the blush that rose into her cheeks, nearly matching the color of her dress as she took Mina’s hands again. “I’m not that amazing,” she mumbled shyly, hiding her face in her shoulder a moment, watching as Mina grabbed her keys. Bex’s purse was already slung over her shoulder, and she double checked it was still there before she started leading Mina towards the front door. “We’ve got the best table in the house, at the Codfather,” she explained, smiling. She couldn’t help but smile when Mina looked this happy, this carefree, this excited. Even if it was temporary, she deserved it. She deserved to be able to feel relaxed and content. It felt almost infectious, too. Bex felt her own contentedness rising the more she was around Mina. It was hard to be worried like this. “I thought that might be nice, to give you a wide array of seafood choices. I’ve heard they have the best calamari in town.” 

“I think you’re very amazing,” Mina said brightly, smiling at Bex and wondering if she could get away with stealing a kiss without messing up her lipstick. She just wanted to love Bex, that was it. It had been a great week, and Mina was enjoying the happy excitement that bubbled through her, but she also had trouble thinking straight and staying on task. But being around Bex sometimes made it hard for Mina to think about anything other than Bex, so maybe that helped, in this case. “The Codfather?” she asked, and, okay, maybe she’d thought about going there when she first got to town, but the prices had turned her off of it, even if she’d claim it was because the food was probably too salty. But Bex wanted to take her there, and Mina could have practically melted, and she loved this girl so much. “I’ve never had calamari, actually.” Which was funny because there had been a giant squid inhabiting Dark Score when she spent most of her time there. “I appreciate that. They’ll have food for you, too, right? Because I know for a fact that you don’t eat anything that once had a face. Or tentacles.”

“Of course you do,” Bex said, rolling her eyes, “you’re biased.” She saw the way Mina looked at her, it was the same way she’d looked at her when Bex had dropped off her lunch at her office the other day before she’d started trying to take Bex’s shirt off. As well as being more happy, Mina had also been a lot more...frisky lately. Not that Bex was complaining. She liked it. She liked it a lot. But she still wanted to have a nice date, maybe look at the stars for a bit, and then get to the other stuff. Bex wanted to show off her girlfriend in public tonight, for the first time, and she had spent the entire day convincing herself to be brave and she wasn’t going to waste it. “You’ve never had calamari? Really? I mean, I haven’t either, but I don’t eat things with faces,” she stuck her tongue out at Mina. “And yes, they have vegetarian options. Now get in the car, or we’re gonna be late,” she demanded, pushing MIna along. 

“I am biased, yes,” Mina said. “We’ve covered this? Several times, I think, on a regular basis. But it doesn’t change the fact that I think you’re the most amazing.” And she wondered if maybe they could just skip dinner? Or maybe they could just stay home? Because that would be just as nice, really, even nicer, actually, because Mina could have Bex to herself, and she was so pretty, and Mina loved her so much. She knew that this was something that Bex really wanted to do, that it was a big step for her, and Mina really did love her so much, so she was okay with going out to dinner and doing date things and behaving. She could behave. She’d try to behave. And she kind of liked going out and doing things with Bex, even if it took her forever to decide on what to where or how to do her hair or if she should wear these shoes or that jacket, and what even is fashion, anyway? “No, I haven’t had calamari. I mean, there really haven’t been that many opportunities to try fresh squid, and anything not fresh is just kind of gross. I’ve tried frog legs before. Those are alright.” She let Bex push her outside and toward her car. “You’re really quite pushy lately. I mean, I’m not complaining. It’s very cute, but I don’t think we’re going to be late if you let me walk on my own,” she teased.

“We have. And it might not, but I’m just saying, of course you do because you’re biased.” Bex just grinned, led her out the doors and towards the car, turning to face her as she walked backwards. “I guess that makes sense. I just thought maybe you had, since you’d been to so many different places. I don’t think it’s usually that expensive. It’s probably got some fancy sauce or way of being made at the Codfather, I bet. Only the best for my girl.” And when they reached the car, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Mina’s cheek, leaving only a small bit of her lipstick behind. “And you’re really quite handsy lately, but I’m not complaining.” She tapped on the car door. “You know the sooner we get through the dinner, the sooner you get to take my dress off.”

“I don’t like eating fish if it’s been sitting on ice for a few days,” Mina said, “and it’s usually got a smell to it, to me, if it has. Or maybe I’m making it all up in my head. I ate some really awful fish and chips when I was about ten and it took me about a year to eat cooked fish after that, and I’ve just been rather strange about it ever since.” She wrinkled up her nose. “Plus, tentacles seem strange.” But she brightened up just as quickly. “I want to try it, though, I think. It might be interesting!” She felt so soft and warm and happy, thinking about this, doing this with Bex. “I love you,” she said, even as Bex left lipstick on her cheek and she knew she’d have to check it in the mirror before they went into the restaurant. She almost said Promise? but she refrained, biting the inside of her cheek before she smiled. “It’s just hard to keep my hands to myself, sometimes.” And she unlocked the car, holding Bex’s door open for her before running her hand over Bex’s arm. 

“I know you don’t,” Bex smiled. She just couldn’t stop smiling. This was all so different from how the past few weeks had been going. It felt light and happy and good. It was relaxing and wonderful and amazing and any other adjective that meant great. She looked down at Mina’s fingers running over her arm and bit the inside of her lip. “I love you, too,” she said, squeezing her hand before sliding into the car. “Now c’mon, I’m getting antsy. If you can keep your hands to yourself for at least ten more minutes, I think we’ll be good.” And, really, she didn’t think Mina could, but she was sure she’d try. And, really, she didn’t actually want her to. But she didn’t mind presenting the challenge. And she even went back on it right away, because as soon as Mina was in the driver’s seat, Bex was reaching over and squeezing her knee, resting her hand there. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?”

“Ten minutes isn’t a long time, but it feels like a long time,” Mina grumbled, but she wanted to try, just to prove that she could. Because she felt great, and everything felt like it was out of her control and yet in her control in the most marvelously conflicting way, and she didn’t quite get it, but she didn’t feel like she needed to, at this point. She just needed to enjoy it. She wanted to enjoy it. It was so much easier to want things when it didn’t feel like the end of the world when she did so. It felt nice to now be worried. Mina looked longingly at Bex’s hand as she started the car, wanting to take it and hold it and use it to pull Bex in close, and if they were a little late to their reservation, it’d be okay, right? Mina thought it would be okay, she was quite certain it’d be okay. Instead, she kept both hands on the wheel and drove to the Codfather because the sooner they made it, the sooner she could actually take Bex’s hand. And if it was less than ten minutes because Mina took one hand off the wheel to lace her fingers with Bex’s before they got to the restaurant, then that was no one’s business but Mina’s. If absence made the heart grow fonder, then Mina’s was especially fond, even though Bex wasn’t that far away.

Bex squeezed Mina’s hand back when she laced their fingers together. She knew she couldn’t last the whole car ride. It made her happy. She liked that Mina wanted to hold her so much, be near her so much. That she couldn’t stand to go ten minutes without holding her hand. When they pulled up, she had to unlace their fingers, stepping out of the car, meeting MIna around the back. She looked over at the building, at the restaurant, where people lingered outside, smoking, waiting for the valet to bring their car around, waiting for their table to be ready. People, who could see her and see them. People, who probably knew who she was. Bex swallowed and looked at Mina and all of the fear in the world didn’t matter when she had her. She held out her hand to Mina. “Ready for our date?”

“I’m ready if you are,” Mina said, and she smiled happily at Bex as she took her hand. And going in the mushroom ring had made Mina excited and content and feeling better than she had in a very long time, but Bex was her happy place. Bex was where Mina felt the most comfortable. Bex was the only person that she could ever imagine being with. They’d promised each other forever, and forever was what she wanted. She wanted. It was okay to want things. Mina was becoming more and more comfortable with wanting things. What she wanted mst was to make sure this was something that Bex was comfortable with. Mina was just fine with them taking their time. She was okay if Bex wanted to keep this lowkey, and she’d try very, very to keep her hands mostly to herself. She wanted Bex to be happy. Really, in this moment, that was all that mattered.

Bex looked down at their hands clasped between them, how perfectly they fit together. How seamlessly they’d come together. They’d been through so much together, and it had all somehow led to this moment. If Bex could face her parents, then of course she could face this. She could. She squeezed Mina’s hand and nodded. “I’m ready.” She was ready to live her life with the girl she loved and nothing was going to stop her. She led them up to the hostess’s stand and the nicely dressed man behind it spotted them quickly. “Ah, Miss Oxendine!” he cheered. “I-It’s Beck now,” she corrected, unable to help the waver in her voice. She watched his eyes drop to their clasped hands and she swallowed. “Right,” he said. “Your table is ready. Follow me, then.” Bex looked over at Mina, then back inside. “Excited to try some expensive fish?”

Mina knew that Bex was nervous, and she knew that this was big for her, so all Mina did was make sure that the other girl knew that she was there, however Bex needed her. So she squeezed her hand again and smiled, bright and happy, just happy to be doing anything with her. “I mean, I’m kind of more excited for desert, actually, but expensive fish sounds lovely.” Even though Mina didn’t really care if the fish was expensive enough, and she was really just excited to be spending time with Bex. She liked spending time with Bex, always wanted to spend time with Bex, really. Everything else was kind of second rate.

Bex gave a shy smile over at Mina, knowing what she meant by dessert, tugging on her as she beckoned her to follow the host with her. He led them to a table in a little raised section that had a small wall that closed it off mostly to the rest of the restaurant. He set the menus down for them and slid a drink menu on the table as well before letting them know their waiter would be over soon. Bex sat down at the table across from Mina, before deciding better of it and scooting her chair over to the side adjacent to her so she could reach under the table and take her hand. “I think the last time I was here my dad was meeting some foreign bankers about a deal and I played a game with myself to see how many shrimp tails I could put in this one lady’s purse before she noticed,” she chuckled. She’d gotten in so much trouble, but it had been worth it, watching the snooty woman reach in to get her lipstick out, only to pull up a handful of shrimp tails.

This was definitely the fanciest restaurant that Mina had been in, and she took her time looking around, taking it in. They were relatively secluded, and it was kind of nice, being in such a crowded place but also having this space to themselves, and Mina enjoyed it, taking Bex’s hand under the table and rubbing her thumb against the back of it. “How old were you?” Mina asked, and she wanted to know. Then, eyes bright, she leaned in closer, “And how many shrimp tails did you manage to get away with?” She glanced at the menu, her eyes widening a little as she took in the prices before even considering the actual meals. Because of course she knew this place was expensive, but Mina hadn’t realized it was expensive. It was very expensive, and Mina had never been anywhere so fancy and expensive, and, wow, that was really strange, wasn’t it. Laughing a little under her breath, she mumbled, “Is any of this actually worth the prices?”

“I was um...13, maybe 14?” Bex said, trying to remember. She honestly wasn’t sure, but she knew it’d been a while. She’d been afraid to come back, but she wasn’t afraid anymore. Not with Mina. “I mean, what else is there for a teenager to do during a business meeting at a seafood restaurant?” she snorted, shaking her head. “I think I almost got, like, twenty of them in there. She was digging them out of her purse for so long.” And she laughed, beaming. Not all her memories of childhood were bad, she reminded herself. Sometimes, she felt normal. She watched Mina’s face contort as she read the prices and Bex leaned over. “Don’t worry about the prices, okay? Just order whatever you want. But between you and mean--” she glanced towards the front, as if making sure no one was heading towards their table-- “this place is way overpriced.” Shrugging, she leaned back. “But, that’s just how these places are.”

Mina tried to catalogue all of that, thinking about what Bex must have been like as a teenager, trying to remember what she was like as a teenager, too. Sometimes, she didn’t think that either of them really got to be teenagers. Or children, really. And she was okay with that right now. She was okay with a lot of things right now. But it wasn’t really fair to either of them. Mina wanted Bex to have more moments like that. She deserved a chance to be able to have fun. Her smile was soft. “Cute. I can’t believe that you managed to fit twenty shrimp into a purse. Were they big shrimp?” Wrinkling her nose, she looked back at the menu. “I’m not– I never said I was worried about– I’m…Hm.” It was harder to lie lately. It didn’t make her sick; it was just hard.  “It’s a lot of money, for–” she looked, “-- a very small serving of salmon.” She was sure this was how these places were, but it was just strange to think about money being used in this way. “I will… look at the menu to see.”

Bex laughed again. “Cute? You’re funny. I was kind of a little brat when I could get away with it.” It was the most her she could be, acting out like that. She didn’t add that part in, though. She inhaled and shook her head. “It was just the shrimp tails, the things you pull off the end of the shrimp. I was very sneaky as a child. And no one really noticed or paid attention to me, anyway.” She grinned over at her, watching her wrinkle her nose. “It is a lot of money, but you’re dating a multi-millionaire, so, really, it’s not that much money for me. You can even order two, if you want.” She scooted even a tad closer, leaning so that her shoulder touched Mina’s as she scanned the menu with her. “Wanna order a bottle of champagne? Do you like champagne?” 

“Yes, cute,” Mina said, sticking out her tongue. “I think that’s very cute in sort of a… mischievous way.” But she thought everything about Bex was cute. Like the way she scooted closer and leaned in, touching. “You did seem rather adept at sneaking.” She remembered that from the few times that she snuck into Bex’s family home. “I know that you have money, Bex, but even then, there’s no need to waste it.” Even still feeling the mushroom high, Mina could still think about that, about wasting money and all the lessons she’d received on that when she was younger, how contracts sometimes took awhile to come in, and equipment was expensive, and travel was expensive, and everything was expensive. “I… probably will not order two, no.” She did start to seriously look at the menu, trying not to worry about the money. She licked her lips. “I haven’t really had champagne, no, not… nice champagne.” 

“Hmmm, yes, that checks out,” Bex grinned, sticking her tongue out in turn. “You’re pretty good at sneaking around yourself, you know. I was actually rather surprised you never got caught breaking into the manor.” Those were strange times, both happy and so dark, full of pain and longing and hope. The nights Mina had come and climbed into her bedroom were some of the best nights she’d ever had in that house. She didn’t know how she would’ve gotten through any of that without Mina. “It’s not wasting it,” she said simply, picking up her own menu, “nothing I spend on you is a waste.” It was just a simple fact. “Then we’ll order so champagne!” And right on cue, the waiter came around. He introduced himself, told them about the specials and the allergens, recommended some wine, and Bex ordered one of the top shelf champagne bottles and a moment later he returned with that, two glasses, and a basket of freshly baked bread sticks. She picked up her glass when he left and turned to Mina, holding up her glass. “To forever,” she smiled softly. 

“So you’re saying that you’re cute?” Mina asked, cocking her head innocently to the side. Then she smiled. “I mean, I’m quick on my feet.” And she’d gotten good at climbing into Bex’s room. It wasn’t so much that she was good at being sneaky, she was just fast and athletic and relatively observant. That was all. It helped. She furrowed her brow, but, with all the energy that Mina had, very little of it could actually be devoted to being worried about things for too long. “Okay,” she said quietly. If Bex wanted to spend money on her, and this was so important to her, then maybe Mina could let it slide. This once. And then the waiter was there and he was talking, and then there was champagne, and Mina took the other glass, clinking it with Bex’s as she smiled back. “To forever.” She took Bex’s right hand, her fingers going to play with the ring, spin it between her fingers. Forever. They had forever. And it didn’t matter how long that was, Mina was kind of excited about the prospect.

“No, I’m saying that it checks out that you think I’m cute,” Bex corrected, rolling her eyes a little. But she couldn’t hold the look too long, clinking her glass with Mina’s as well. Took a long sip and let the bubbles prickle her throat. “It’s good,” she said, satisfied with her choice. Honestly, she just picked the weirdest named one that was relatively expensive, because that’s what she’d heard her parents always do at places like this. And the cheers, the to forever, made her chest feel light and warm and happy. She held her hand up as Mina fiddled with her ring, remembering when she’d first shown her the rings and how nervous she’d been. She hadn’t thought Mina would ever say no, but she’d still been so nervous, wondering if Mina would get upset or worried. But she’d loved it and she’d taken the promise and now they had each other forever. She set her glass down and leaned over quickly, taking Mina’s face in her free hand and kissing her gently, careful not to smudge her lipstick too much. Her face burned and she felt her heart thumping loudly in her chest, but she felt good. She’d wanted to do that for so long. “I love you,” she said, looking back at Mina. “So much.”

“Oh. Well, I mean, yes, I do,” Mina said. She took a sip of her champagne as well, enjoying the citrusy flavor. She licked her lips. “It is. I really like it.” She didn’t have anything to compare it to, but it was good. It was better than she expected. Really, Mina hadn’t had many expectations at all. She certainly hadn’t expected Bex to kiss her in the restaurant where she’d been perfectly content to just hold hands under the table. “I love you too,” she murmured. “I don’t think I’ve told you that enough today.” She looked back at the menu, kind of thinking about the calamari still, though she knew she’d like the salmon. The restaurant was nice enough that their food had to be fresh. Mina could also sense another Fae nearby, at least one, though she wasn’t sure. It was interesting enough to distract her for a moment. And then she got to thinking about something that she wanted to tell Bex, but she also wanted to wait until they got their food. “What are you thinking?” she asked Bex, looking up at her.

“Hmmm, maybe not. You should tell me again,” Bex said with a coy grin. “It never hurts to hear, right?” She looked back at the menu, scanning down it. The zucchini pasta didn’t sound bad, and it had a nice, cream free sauce on it. Honestly, whatever sounded fine. She was just so happy to be out with Mina. Literally out. She was holding her hand and she had kissed her and people had seen them and everything was going great, for once. Everything was going great. And she worried in the back of her mind that something was going to go wrong, but it was hard to concentrate on that when Mina was right here with her and Bex had to fight the urge to just grab her face and kiss her again, which meant it was infinitely harder for Mina, considering how she’d been lately. “I’m getting the pasta, I think. What about you? You could order the calamari as a starter, if you want. I think it comes with a side salad I could have.” And it was strange, wasn't it? Having such a normal date, such a normal dinner. They were discussing champagne and entrees and appetizers and when did Bex ever think she’d get to do something like this with someone she actually loved? Never. She felt a swell of warmth again, squeezing Mina’s hand. 

“I love you,” Mina singsonged, and she’d say it again if Bex wanted. She liked saying it, anyway, liked that it was something she could say and mean and be happy about. And she was happy. Mina was so happy, here with this girl who loved her, too. This was the best. There was no way for things to be better than this moment with her favorite person in an expensive restaurant. But maybe it could. Mina looked forward to being proven wrong. She looked at Bex, and she’d already been told multiple times to control herself in public places, and she could do that. Yes, she could do that. Mina could be good. She looked back at the menu. “The salmon, I think? It’s honey glazed which sounds good.” She hummed, considering. “I suppose if it comes with the salad and you’d like to do that.” She rubbed her thumb over Bex’s hand as she looked through the menu one more time. She could get used to this. Could she get used to this? She could get used to this. “Also, I have something to tell you. A good something? I think. It’s not a bad something.”

Bex felt like her smile couldn’t get any wider on her face. She felt so calm and warm and happy, it almost wasn’t believable. It almost felt unreal. But she knew it was real. Even in her happiest dreams, it never felt like this. She leaned forward on the table, watching Mina as she contemplated what to order. “Sounds yummy to me,” she agreed, setting the menu aside once they’d decided and digging around for her phone when Mina spoke up again. She paused, looking over at her. “Something to tell me?” She wasn’t sure it did sound good, if she had to clarify that it was something good, but she didn’t want to work herself up. She’d just have to wait to hear it. It would be fine. Mina wouldn’t tell her something bad right now, right? Neither of them wanted to ruin this night. It was going so well. “Okay, um-- go for it. What’s up?” she asked, giving her her full attention, trying to hide the anxiety that always seemed to spark in her whenever someone said those words.

“Great!” Mina said, and then it was settled, right? And that was for the best, really, because her decision making skills had hardly improved in the last week, so she found it was best to just attempt to make decisions as fast as possible and then go with. “Yes, yes, I do, but it’s really not bad. It’s not bad at all, I don’t think.” Mina turned in her seat to better face Bex, and she could see that there was nerves in Bex’s eyes, and Mina was nervous, too, but it was good nerves, she thought. This wasn’t a bad thing. “Okay, so I met with my advisor the other day, and I thought she just wanted to talk to me about course work for next semester, but instead she was asking me about my thesis work, and I’ve kind of already finished it? I mean, it was just a more in depth look at probability and how that ties into chaos theory and how we go about predicting things that are hard to predict and yet still prescribe a numerical value to them and… I mean, I finished. It’s kind of been done. So, ah, I’m graduating in December. So, next month.” Which hadn’t been the plan, and Mina actually thought she was falling behind, but she’d somehow, over the last year, managed to stay on top of her school work and also get ahead of it. She wasn’t really sure how that happened. “Which is good news! I mean, I’m going to have to find something else to do, and I thought about applying for a PhD here, but that’s potentially three to five more years, and I didn’t know if you wanted to be here that long. I suppose I could privately tutor. I don’t know. But I just found out… yesterday? Yesterday.”

Bex turned to face Mina as well, still holding one of her hands tightly. She was a little confused at first as Mina tried to explain that it wasn’t bad, but she just stayed quiet. This was about her thesis? Bex was slightly confused again. She knew Mina was a grad student, working on her thesis, she’d listened to her rant about it so many times now, and Bex really loved doing that. She might not have understood everything Mina was saying, but watching how her eyes lit up as she explained it all and how it all fit together and what she was figuring out by doing all this made Bex so happy. But then Mina said her thesis was finished and Bex felt her stomach drop, even as Mina assured it was good news. This was good news. Bex had to remind herself this was good news. It didn’t mean Mina was leaving, she wouldn’t leave. Her hand subconsciously tightened. “Oh,” was all she said when Mina finished. No, she needed to say something more than that. “That’s-- that’s so great! That you finished early. I-- haven’t really thought that far ahead, though,” she admitted quietly. “My degree only has about two years left, since I switched majors. I-- do you want to stay here that long?” The truth was that Bex loved the people here, she did, but she wanted out. She wanted out so badly. She knew leaving right now wasn’t a good idea, she needed to get control of her magic and herself and her life first, but staying had never been in the cards for her once she was free of her parents. “I mean, a PhD would be great to get. It-- is that what you want?”

“It’s okay,” Mina said quickly, “That you haven’t thought that far. That’s perfectly fine!” And she wondered if she’d said the wrong thing, if she should have waited, if she should have decided to just stay in the program for another semester, but that wouldn’t change that Bex had two more years, and Mina wasn’t going to do anything without her if she didn’t want her to. So she’d still have to find something to do. “I don’t know. Three to five years is a long time,” she mused. “I didn’t actually expect to get to finish this program, so it’s a bit of a surprise that I’ve managed to. I’ve never stayed anywhere this long. It’s been nice, I like it here, I met you, but I do miss travelling.” She brought their laced hands up and kissed Bex’s, frowning when she pulled away and realized she’d left a lipstick mark. “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I– I mean, I want to do whatever you do. If you’d like to stay after you get done, then we can. If you’d like to go somewhere else, then that would be nice, too. I’d like to show you places, where I’ve been and where I’d like to go, but I know that’s a few years away.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if I want a PhD or not. I mean, I enjoy maths, but. I don’t know.”

Bex thought on the words for a moment, letting the smile return to her face as Mina apologized for smearing lipstick on the back of her hand. “Don’t be, I like it,” she said, moving her hand just enough to make sure Mina didn’t try and wipe it away. She’d keep it there for now. “I’m glad you did get to finish, that’s a huge accomplishment, you know.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “I-- I don’t want to tell you you can’t apply for a PhD if that’s what you want, but I don’t...I love this place because of the people here, but I don’t think I...want to stay. When I’m done. I’ve been stuck in one place my whole life, I-- I want to travel. I want to see your world and the places you’ve been and find new ones with you. If-- if that’s what you want, too?” 

“Okay.” Mina smiled back, falling into easier, happier feelings now that she’d told Bex. She’d thought it would be good news. It was, at least, okay news. And she was a little proud that she’d been able to finish. It had kind of been the same when she’d actually received her degrees in the post. Not that she knew where those were. They were probably in storage somewhere on the other side of the world. She relaxed a little more. “Honestly, I don’t know if I can handle writing another thing on mathematics right now. And a PhD is even more than a masters, and I really just–” She wrinkled her nose, “--I’d rather not do that, right now.” Laughing, she added, “This town kind of sucks! I mean, really, I like it here because I met you and so many others that are wonderful, and it would be great if I wanted to hunt, but that’s– no, I don’t really want that, anymore. I just want you, and I want to travel with you. Whenever you get done with school, of course.”

Bex let out a long breath, relieved a little. She felt a little guilty that she was happy Mina didn’t want to stay, but she was. She loved Morgan and Deirdre and Nell, but White Crest had never really been Bex’s home. And she’d always dreamed of traveling the world. It was all she really wanted. That, and, well, Mina. The only two things she needed. “I mean, you can really get a PhD whenever, right? Why not take a break, first? If-- we can try and find you a job if you don’t wanna be bored and stuff.” She took Mina’s hand this time and kissed it, leaving her own lipstick stain. “I just want you, too. And traveling the world with you sounds like the best thing that I could ever dream of.” She smiled. “You’re--” she didn’t know why she suddenly felt bashful, but she did, glancing down, “you’re more than just the love of my life, you know. You-- you complete my soul. You’re my perfect match.” 

“I could, yes. I might, too, later. Or I might do something with music. Or I might go back and find something completely different to study. I don’t know.” And that was kind of the beauty of it, wasn’t it? Mina didn’t have to know, not right now, not when there was the potential of her having potential. A future. A life. A life with this girl. That was what she wanted. She grinned at the mark Bex left on her hand. “Like I said, I can always tutor, still. Maths is apparently a hard subject for some people.” She felt so soft and warm and content that she could melt, right there in the restaurant, into a puddle as if that was something that nixies did. “I do remember telling you about the Black Forest when we first started chatting online, you know. I distinctly remember that you needed someone to go camping with.” Mina took Bex’s cheek and gently turned her to face her. “I know. I do. At risk of sounding cheesy, if soulmates are real, I know you’re mine.”

“Really, the world is your oyster,” Bex teased, smiling over at Mina. She hadn’t known what to think at first, but the more they talked, the more Bex realized she didn’t have to worry. Whatever decision they made, they’d make together. She’d always have Mina, always, and she’d never let anyone or anything take her from her. “The Black Forest does sound amazing. And I’ve never even been camping before, so that sounds even better.” She turned her head when Mina prodded her cheek, looking across at her. “It does sound cheesy, but I love it when you’re cheesy,” she said back, and for a moment, she forgot where they were and she leaned over and she kissed her softly, lingering. Then a voice sounded, “Oh, my apologies!” It was the waiter and Bex moved away, hiding her embarrassment behind a small wave. “I can come back later?” he asked and she shook her head. “No, no, it’s-- we’re ready. To order.” Looked over at Mina. “You know what you want?”

“I suppose so,” Mina said, laughing. But it was the truth, wasn’t it? She could do so much, she had time, she had Bex. Things were okay. They weren’t, sometimes, but this week had been great, and everything was going to be okay. Maybe she was just feeling optimistic because of the mushrooms, but she really did feel like things were going to be okay. They were. She had Bex, and she’d never let anything take Bex from her, and it was going to be okay. “We should definitely do trial run camping first, just to make sure you can handle it,” Mina teased. And, really, had she ever been camping for the enjoyment of it? She liked camping, but had it ever been something that was peaceful? She couldn’t remember. She wanted that with Bex, though. She wanted everything with Bex. Melting as Bex kissed her and blinking as she pulled away, Mina looked from her girlfriend to the waiter to the menu. “Oh! Yes, I’m ready.” And she told him what she wanted, the calamari and the side salad with it and the salmon, and she tried not to think about prices, and she handed him her menu when he held out his hand for it.

Bex gave her order as well, handing over the menu, and waiting for him to disappear before she turned back to Mina and finished kissing her. They’d been interrupted, after all, and it wasn’t fair. And nothing had happened, really, when someone had seen them. And Bex wanted to, even if her heart was beating a little faster than normal. “I think a trial run for camping sounds great,” she said when she pulled away, wiping a smudge of lipstick off the side of MIna’s lip. “We’ll have to wait till it’s warmer, though, I don’t think we can go camping in the winter.” She gave a short chuckle, taking another sip of her champagne. When had she gotten so lucky? A girl who loves her so much, a stable home life, the ability to pursue the career of her dreams. Sure, there were a lot of not fun, stressful things happening, but in this moment, none of them really mattered, because she had Mina, and she had this. “Thank you,” she said softly, “for everything. For...being in my life.”

“I would argue that winter is a lovely time for camping just because cuddling is the best way to retain warmth,” Mina said after Bex pulled away. And she was being good, very good, because she didn’t try to deepen the kiss or take it further, and Mina really wanted Bex right then, but she also wanted to be good and for them to have a good time. So she took her own sip of champagne, and the bubbliness and the citrusy flavor of it were growing on her, making her feel light and bubbly, too. If she could feel this happy everyday, then it would be perfect. It would be so perfect. But it was worth it to have this perfect moment. This could be enough. “Thank you for being in mine,” she said in return. And thank yous weren’t scary with Bex. And they weren’t words that she tossed around to get people to drop a subject like she’d done many times before. They were genuine words of gratitude. They meant something good, just like Mina knew that Bex’s were genuine as well.

“Doesn’t it get cold, though?” Bex asked, looking across the table at Mina puzzled. She was sure people camped in the winter, or climbed mountains, or did crazy things, but camping had always seemed like a warm weather thing to her. “You say that, but you’re probably used to being cold. I hate being cold, why do you think I wear like seven jackets when we go out?” she teased. But this moment, this night, had been perfect so far. Actually perfect, and Bex had thought that something like that was impossible. And she wasn’t sure how it could get better, but she also knew that it probably would. And when their dinners came, Bex was even more excited to share this with Mina. This was all she’d ever wanted in life, really. Someone to love who loved her back. How could she ever ask for more? “How was your salmon?” she asked once they were done. She reached over and poured the last of the champagne in their glasses, feeling a little bubbly and light already. 

“I could keep you warm,” Mina said innocently. But she was probably more used to the cold than Bex was, it was true. Mina had slept out in the cold multiple times. Really, if she was in the water, temperature didn’t bother her at all, but she’d slept out of the water in the cold plenty of times. It wasn’t that bad. But it wasn’t the most comfortable when you were alone. “I thought it was because you liked me to take the layers off,” she said, her tongue burning a little from the small white lie. It was nice to just sit and talk and enjoy the evening. And they were enjoying the evening. They both seemed to be enjoying the evening. Bex looked happy, and all Mina really wanted was for Bex to be happy. Happy and safe, and safe was a little hard to come by, these days, but at least Mina knew that Bex was safe with her. “It was good! It was really good, actually. How was your pasta?” 

Both of Mina’s comments made Bex’s cheeks burn and she tucked her chin in for a moment, shaking her head. “While I do enjoy when you take my clothes off, that’s not the only reason I wear layers,” she said back, sticking her tongue out at her. She softened, though, reaching back out for Mina’s hand and bringing it into her lap. “Good, I’m glad you liked it. It was also very good. See? Totally worth it, right?” She gave a wide grin, before looking back at the small drink menu on the table. “Did you wanna get dessert? I don’t know if they have anything I can eat, but we can look?” She was more than sure Mina was ready to get out of there, but Bex wanted to see how much longer she could hold it, if only to tease her a bit. Besides, the night was going so well, why end it early? 

Mina moved her chair a little closer, pushing her plate out of the way. She kept her fingers laced with Bex’s to keep her hand from wandering, and she knew what Bex was doing, and she licked her lips before she looked at the menu as well before she looked back at Bex. “If they have something you’d want, we can do dessert, yes.” She couldn’t help but smile back, even if she knew she was being teased, even if she knew that’s what it was. Honestly, it wouldn’t hurt to keep this part of the night going. It would be okay to keep enjoying this part of the night. Mina glanced down at the menu again. “Do you seen anything that you’d like?”

Bex watched Mina scoot closer, glancing down at their hands and giving a slight squeeze before she reached across and grabbed the wine and dessert menu, scanning it quickly. There were only two choices-- a creme brulee pudding, or a slice of cheesecake. Neither of those Bex could eat. She should’ve figured. She glanced over at Mina. “How about we go get smoothies from Al’s, instead?” she offered. “It’s a really nice night for a walk and we probably won’t get many more warm nights after this.” Plus, as much as she was feeling more okay with being out, she did kind of want to be alone with Mina sooner rather than later. She was done having eyes on her. Now all they’d have to do was stay cool while the waiter ran the bill. 

“Smoothies sound good, too,” Mina said, and really, she liked Al’s. They ordered Al’s enough that it felt familiar and comfortable, and it was a nice night for a walk, and the stars were really pretty, and it would be much easier for Mina to kiss Bex if there weren’t so many people around. She just wanted to touch Bex, and it wasn’t even just about sex, though that was nice, too. She wanted that, too. But for now she just wanted to touch Bex, to wrap her arms around her and lean against her and run her hands through soft hair. It wasn’t that much to ask for, was it? She didn’t think so. “I’d be okay with a walk, yes. You know, we should go swimming somewhere at least once before it gets too cold? I mean, the pool is really nice, and I like it a lot, but I don’t know. I’d like to be somewhere in nature with you. It makes me happy.” Mina was idly playing with Bex’s fingers when the waiter arrived, and she straightened up a little, putting on her best-behaved face even though she hadn’t been doing anything wrong.

“Perfect,” Bex answered, setting the menu back down and leaning back while they waited. She glanced over at Mina, noting the way she was looking at her and wondering if they would even make it to smoothies. She didn’t think she’d mind either way. “You don’t think the water’s gonna be too cold already? I guess we have had some warm days,” she answered. “I’m still really bad at swimming, though, so you’ll have to hold me or teach me how.” And even though she didn’t know how to swim, the thought of going with Mina didn’t make her nervous at all, because she knew the girl would never let her drown. They’d jumped off a waterfall together, after all. The waiter came by and Bex handed him the credit card for the bill and he scurried off once more. And when he got back again, she signed him over a very nice tip then looked over at Mina. “I know you hate pictures, but can I please take a pic of us? You just look so nice, I wanna remember this forever.”

“We won’t stay in long if it gets too cold,” Mina said excitedly. “I’ll hold you. I’ll keep you warm.” And she’d be on the lookout to make sure that nothing came out of the water and attacked them, either. Mina liked to think that she was observant on land, but it was hard to escape her notice in the water. “I could teach you, too. Or try to.” She’d never taught anyone who didn’t already know how to swim. Most people didn’t get in the water with her if they didn’t know how to swim, especially when she was younger, especially after what happened at that party all those years ago. “I don’t hate pictures,” Mina said, shrugging a little. “And I like taking pictures with you. And I think you have a few pictures of me.” She blushed, her cheeks tinging pink. “But I’d like to take one with you, yes.” 

“Alright,” Bex agreed, and, really, it was so easy to agree, because she wanted to. She wanted to spend time with Mina in the places she liked, too. And if that was a lake out in the woods, then Bex would do it. She was safe with Mina, after all. She’d never let anything hurt Bex. “But only if you keep me warm.” She smiled and leaned in, holding up the camera, when the waiter came back over and offered to take the picture for them. She happily handed him the camera and scooted closer to Mina, wrapping an arm around her waist. If someone would have told her just six months ago that this moment was in her future, she would have never believed them. But here she was, smiling, dressed up nice with her girlfriend, taking a picture with her in public. When he was done, she told him she appreciated him, then turned the phone around to show Mina the picture. “See how nice you look?” She put her phone back in her purse and held her hand back out to Mina. “Ready to go?

“I will keep you warm,” Mina said quietly, easily, smiling and wrapping her arm around Bex to hold her close. And she looked at the camera, but she’d have rather looked at Bex. And so she did when the phone was handed back to Bex, and Mina looked at the picture briefly, but she didn’t care about how nice she looked when Bex was right there, and Mina just wanted to kiss her again. That was all she wanted in the moment, but she refrained, barely, taking Bex’s hand and standing. “All I really cared to see was how nice you looked.” She went ahead and got out her keys, fiddling with them in one hand while the other laced its fingers with Bex’s. “Yes, actually, I am ready to go. Are you?” And she was, right? She was ready to go? She was okay with them leaving and maybe getting smoothies and then going home? Because that’s really what Mina wanted.

[HOMOPHOBIA TW]

“I’m ready,” Bex said, taking Mina’s hand when she laced them together. And this time, she wasn’t even a little afraid to walk back out through the restaurant, where everyone could see them holding hands with matching lipstick stains on the backs of them. She was grateful, though, when they exited the building, even if a brief chill ran through her at the change in temperature. It was still rather nice out, and she pressed into Mina a little more, savoring her warmth. “I suppose we should probably drive to Al’s, right? Leave the car there while we walk?” she asked, when she heard a ‘tsk!’ behind her. She tried to ignore it, but the woman made another disgruntled noise, so Bex turned around to look at her, frowning. She recognized the woman, one of her mother’s “friends” and she immediately felt her chest seize and turned back around quickly. “C’mon, let’s--” she started, but the woman interrupted. 

“Your mother would be so disappointed in you,” she huffed. Bex bit her lip. 

“Yeah, well...my mother is dead,” she mumbled, not turning to face her. She could feel the woman’s eyes boring into her. Into Mina.

“What a disappointment you turned out to be.” 

“I mean, it’s a bit of a walk to downtown from Harris Island, but, if you’d like, I suppose that we could try?” She knew that Bex was cold, though, and as much as she enjoyed the way that Bex huddled in close to her, she didn’t want Bex to get too cold. “We’ll drive and then park, and it’ll be really nice. The stars are lovely. I’m sure there’s a story or two that you haven’t told me.” And that sounded wonderful, actually, and then the thought of it was ruined but the woman that had the nerve to start talking, and Mina couldn’t help but frown, even though the woman couldn’t see her face. Not yet, at least, but then Mina turned around to face her, smiling sweetly, a carefully constructed look of innocence on her face, one that she’d mastered over the years. “You’re awfully opinionated. I happen to know that Bex isn’t a disappointment at all. She’s very lovely, and very smart, and very much not a disappointment. My name is Wilhelmina. Can I have your name?”

Bex watched Mina turn around and felt rather horrified for a moment. But she reminded herself that she really had nothing to be afraid of. She didn’t. She didn’t. “Mina, let’s just--” she tried quietly, but the woman interrupted her again. “And you’re awfully petulant, aren’t you?” Bex flinched. She could’ve told her to stop, she probably should have. She knew what Mina was doing. But the woman glowered at the two of them and said, “Of course your kind would think that. I’d watch your tongue, child. My name is Caroline Scott, and you’d better remember that. Next time, I won’t be so lenient.” If only she knew, Bex thought, sidling behind Mina a little bit. She looked up at the woman and could almost see as the confusion set in. Her husband came back from his smoke break with the keys to their car from the valet and motioned to her. Bex tugged on Mina’s hand. “Let’s just go,” she said, “please.”

[HOMOPHOBIA TW END]

Mina would have dragged this out longer if she could. There was a part of her that was much louder these days that rather enjoyed messing with people, and it was certainly loud as Caroline Scott forgot that she was Caroline Scott. And Mina would have taken more than just Caroline Scott’s name because she seemed like the kind of woman that didn’t think through her words at all, and, well, if she wasn’t lenient, then why should Mina be? If the woman’s barbed tongue talked her right into a promise bind, then that was really her own fault. But Bex wanted to leave, and Mina didn’t really want to stay too long, anyway. “We can go,” she said softly, and she squeezed Bex’s hand. She smiled brightly at the woman. “It was absolutely something to meet you, not-Caroline Scott!” And she started walking them towards her car, away from the woman and her husband.

Bex followed Mina, glancing back at the woman, who was speaking confusedly to her husband, before she looked back at Mina. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “I should’ve expected something like that would happen.” She’d never seen Mina use her faeness like that before, not really. Sometimes she made promises, but she usually stayed away from things like that. She wondered if it was because of the mushrooms. But she decided to keep the thoughts to herself, wanting nothing more than to just get in the car and leave this place. Dinner had been nice and she wanted the rest of the evening to stay that way. She stopped at the car and turned to face Mina, lifting her hands to her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said softly, leaning forward to give her another kiss, slow and tender this time. She even kind of hope Mrs. Scott saw. It made her feel powerful. “We can go get smoothies and then maybe find somewhere for you to fuck me under the stars?” she suggested, smiling.

“‘S okay,” Mina said. “Well, no, it’s not okay on her part. Bigotry is never okay. But you shouldn’t have to expect something like that. We shouldn’t.” She smiled into the kiss, her hand on Bex’s cheek, and it wasn’t anything serious, but it was wonderful all the same. Mina would never get tired of kissing Bex, even in places where people could see though that wasn’t often. Sometimes, that pleased her, knowing that people got to see that Mina had been chosen, was being loved, by such a pretty girl. “You’re very welcome. I’d do anything for you.” She licked her lips before nodding her head enthusiastically, moving to open Bex’s door. “Yes, yes, we can do that, yes. I’d really like that, actually. About how far away is Al’s from here?”

Bex bit her lip as she looked down. “It’s not, no, but...it is a part of my life,” she admitted quietly, “it...might always be.” Because of the way she’d been raised and the people that knew her. Even with her parents dead, their reputation in town still stood, and people still recognized Bex in public. “It might suck now, but I think it’ll get better. I’m done hiding who I am. I love you and I want everyone to know,” she declared quietly, even though her voice wavered with inherent fear, “Everyone.” She smiled, then, as Mina moved eagerly to open the car door for her. Even laughed a little, moving to sit in the car. “Only about five minutes, I’m pretty sure. I can even call ahead and have them ready for us when we get there,” she said, pulling out her phone and tapping the screen. “And you were so good, keeping your hands to yourself. But, you know,” she chewed on her lip mischievously this time, “you don’t have to be good anymore.”

“It’ll get better,” Mina said, and she felt warm and soft. Because Bex wanted to be with her, and she wanted to be out in the open with her, and Mina… Mina wanted that so much. She wanted everything with this girl, wanted to give her the whole world, and, maybe, Mina wanted to experience the whole world with her. “Five minutes isn’t that bad.” She moved to the driver side and got in, turning to face Bex before she started the car. And she had been good, hadn’t she? She hadn’t kissed Bex too much in the restaurant, hadn’t even instigated a kiss, actually, just let Bex kiss her, and that was nice, but Mina licked her lips as she looked at Bex, eyes wide. “Calling ahead would be good, though, yes. I think that you should do that, actually.” She leaned in, moving closer even though the center console of the car separated them. “So I can kiss you, then?” she asked quietly, smiling as she glanced from Bex’s eyes to her lips.

Bex really wanted to believe Mina, she did, but she wasn’t sure she could right now. Maybe one day. She didn’t want to think about that anymore, though. Because Mina was leaning over in the car and Bex was leaning in, too, smiling as she watched her eyes go down from her eyes to her lips. Bex scraped her teeth gently along her bottom lip, keeping Mina’s gaze. “You can,” she said, but before she could move, she lifted her hand and put a finger against Mina’s lips, “after I call.” She tapped on her phone and dialed the number, glancing over at Mina as she waited for the ring. When the waitress picked up, she gave their order quickly, smiling to herself the whole time. She almost still couldn’t believe this night was real, that these were things she got to have. When she hung up the phone, she looked over at Mina again. “All ordered.”

Pouting, Mina waited as patiently as she could for Bex to order the smoothies, and as soon as she was done, Mina all but lunged forward, kissing her swiftly, hungrily, just like she’d wanted to all night but wasn’t particularly appropriate for public spaces. She let her hands go to Bex’s hair, and she felt kind of bad that she was messing it up, but she wanted to run her fingers through soft hair, and she wanted to put her hands on Bex’s cheeks, and she wanted to kiss her, kiss her, kiss her again, wanting her more than anything in the world. “I love you,” she said against Bex’s lips, earnest and sweet. Again, “I love you.” She pulled away, pressing her forehead to Bex’s. Again, “I love you. So much. So, so much.” And she kissed Bex again, much softer this time, and it was kind of uncomfortable, but she wrapped her arms around Bex and held her close. And they should maybe start moving, but Mina just wanted to hold the girl that she loved, just for a moment more.

Bex could feel how much Mina wanted her from how hungrily she kissed her, and it made her skin tingle and her heart soar, and how had she gotten so lucky? How? Bex didn't know, didn't care right now, just kissed her back and smiled and replied, "I love you, too. More than anything ever l." And let the girl who was the love of her life hold her close, even with the center console digging into her side. It didn't matter. She leaned back after a moment, brushing Mina's hair from face, tucking it behind her ear. "I release you from your promise, to stay home at night. To not go out alone." She let out a long breath. "I… I'm sorry I kept that. It's-- things are better now, though. And I don't want to make you do anything." Even if she did still want Mina to stay home at night with her, she wasn't going to force her to. She brushed fingers along her cheek. "just… Please be careful."

That was unexpected. Mina blinked, looking at Bex before smiling again and nuzzling into her hand. “Thank you. I didn’t– I understood why you kept it. And why you asked for it. I don’t blame you or anything. And it’s been kind of nice, really.” And it was nice, as long as she wasn’t left alone and made sure that she made it home on time and didn’t need to go out if no one was around. And maybe she did get a little antsy, but it was also nice to just spend time with Bex and now worry about duty or obligations or anything. When was the last time Mina had thought about duty? When was the last time she felt guilty about it? “I’ll be careful, I will. And I probably won’t even go out that much anymore. I’m happy being with you. I like spending my nights with you.”

“I like spending my nights with you, too,” Bex said, brushing her thumb against Mina’s cheek as she pressed in. She leaned forward and put her forehead to Mina’s, smiling at her. “I just worry about you so much.” But Roy had said it was over and for whatever reason, Bex believed him, and Eloy was being taken care of, and wasn’t in White Crest, so there was really no reason for Bex to have to worry other than the usual. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she murmured, and she knew they’d said that to each other before, but now more than ever, with their promise and their rings and their life together, Bex knew she would be so lost without her. She closed the distance and pressed their lips together again, soft and tender, lingering even when she pulled away. “How about we go get those smoothies now?”

“I worry about you, too. So much. Everyday. I– I’m so scared I’m going to lose you,” Mina said. And that was true, though not in the moment. She hadn’t been scared of anything since she’d walked into that ring. Everything felt high, untouchable, like it would all go well and work itself out. She wasn’t scared of anything right now. She couldn’t remember how to be. “I don’t want to think about that,” she said. She didn’t want to think about a life without Bex. If she let herself, she could feel it start to creep around at the edge of her thoughts, that awful feeling that she’d felt when she’d seen Roy. It was better now. She could lose herself in soft kisses now, and she nodded her head at Bex’s question, but she kissed her again, gently but with the promise of more, and when she pulled away, she smiled at Bex and situated back in her seat, turning on the car. Just as she was about to pull out, Mina put her right hand on the center console, holding it out for Bex to take if she wanted to. And Mina figured she would want to.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Bex reassured. She couldn’t actually guarantee that, she knew that, but that wasn’t what either of them wanted to hear right now. They’d had a good night, for once. A date that hadn’t been interrupted by something crazy or supernatural or stalker exes. She let the lingering taste of Mina’s lips comfort her as she took her hand and squeezed it and she knew everything was going to be alright. At least for now, at least for tonight, and maybe even tomorrow, everything was going to be alright. 

The drive to Al’s was short, just like every drive in White Crest, unless you were driving up through the National Forest, which Bex had never actually done. She was excited about the idea of doing that, though. Especially with Mina. She wanted to do everything with Mina. This time when she got out of the car, she looped her arm with Mina’s and leaned against the other girl, putting her head on her shoulder. “I don’t usually believe in perfect, but I think tonight has been pretty perfect,” she stated.

Humming, Mina rested her head on top of Bex’s as they walked. “I’m inclined to believe you. It’s been pretty nearly perfect.” Mina thought that Bex was pretty nearly perfect, but she refrained from telling her as much, preferring, for once in quite a few days, to enjoy with quiet and the peace of being with this beautiful girl. Mina loved her. She loved her. And she was so very happy being in love with her. She was so very happy, the most happy, even. She held the door open for Bex to Al’s, and she was still the most happy, and she waited for them to get their order, and she was still the most happy, and she didn’t know how these feelings would ever possibly go away. She couldn’t imagine them changing. She couldn’t imagine them fading. She couldn’t think of anyway she’d ever feel bad again. She had Bex, she had this, and nothing could ever take it from her.

Bex handed her credit card over when they got to the counter as the woman grabbed their smoothies, smiling to herself when she told her they both looked lovely tonight. And while Bex felt shy, she wasn’t worried or embarrassed at all. Because she loved Mina and tonight had been perfect, and Bex wanted to be this with her-- out and open and happy and free. She took her card back and thanked the lady and handed Mina her smoothie, before leading them back outside and across the street towards Hanging Rock park. There was only a sliver of moon in the park, but the dim lights around the sidewalk path lit up enough for them to see. She kept her arm hooked with Mina’s as they walked, glancing out across the ocean horizon. “I can’t wait to travel the world with you,” she said, leaning against her. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

They were both a little overdressed for Al’s, weren’t they? But Mina really did have to agree with the woman at the counter because Bex did look lovely, and Mina didn’t know how she could possibly keep falling more and more in love with this girl, but it kept happening. She didn't know how. She was happy, though, as she slurped on her smoothie and walked with Bex and looked out at something that was unfathomable, something that would terrify her alone, but Mina was with Bex, and she loved Bex, and there was nothing scary about the ocean view and the sea breeze. It was beautiful. Bex was beautiful, and she was warm, and she was safe, and Mina was happy. She grinned, wrapping her arms around Bex’s waist and turning so that they were facing each other. “I’m excited! There’s so much that I want to show you, and so much that I want to see with you. So much I haven’t seen, either, and I want that with you.” She leaned in and kissed Bex happily. “I love you.” Her eyes were bright. “Do you want to stay out here, or do you want to go home? I know it’s cold.”

Bex turned when Mina circled her arms around her waist and smiled up at her, kissing her back. Even despite the chill in the air, Bex didn’t want to go anywhere. She wrapped her arms around Mina’s neck, hooking her hands behind her head. “I want to stay out here,” she said, leaning back in and brushing her lips against Mina’s. She turned to glance around, spotting a bench, and pulling her over towards it. “I don’t want this night to end yet,” she said, pushing Mina down onto the bench, setting her smoothie aside as she crawled on top of her, straddling her. “It’s so nice out and you look so beautiful,” she murmured, leaning down. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” There was nothing more she wanted, really, than this girl, to travel the world with this girl. “I want to see everything with you. Everything.”

“Okay,” Mina murmured, brushing her lips against Bex’s and pulling her close and keeping her warm, splaying her hands under the blazer that Bex wore over her dress. “It doesn’t have to end yet. I don’t want it to end, either. I love you.” She let herself be backed up to the bench and pushed down, and Mina looked up at Bex and couldn’t help but feeling like she was about to explode with happiness. So much happiness. She was practically vibrating with it. “I want that, too. So much. More than anything. More than everything. You’re everything, actually. Have I told you that? I needed to tell you that.” She nodded earnestly, and then she leaned up to kiss Bex again, moving her hands to her hair so that she could hold her even closer. And this was a good way to end the night. No, not end it. It wasn’t over yet. It wasn’t over, and, even when it ended, Mina would still have Bex, and that was all that mattered.

For the first time in a long time, Bex was excited about the future. She had things to look forward to, people to spend it with. She had a life and love and everything in between. And she wanted nothing more than to protect the life she’d found for herself. She wasn’t going to let anyone or anything take that away from her. She leaned down, meeting Mina halfway, hands in her hair. “I love you, too,” she muttered against her lips, “so much. I’ll tell you that for the rest of my life, every day.” She circled her arms around Mina’s neck and pressed into her and savored her warmth and the feel of her hands in her hair and let out a long sigh of happiness. “You’re my everything, too,” she said back, and even without the moonlight, she could’ve sworn Mina’s eyes were sparkling as she looked down at her. Things were finally looking up, she thought. Life was finally going her way. 

[stones-x-bones]

To Build A Home || Bex, Metzli and Milo

TIMING: The day after Metzli returns from this PARTIES: @deathisanartmetzli, @wickedmilo, @inbextween SUMMARY: Milo and Bex meet up at Metzli’s, worried about the state of their friend. CONTENT: Medical blood, Emotional abuse mentions, Domestic abuse mentions (All paragraphs labeled accordingly for triggers)

Metzli’s reflection stared back with vacant eyes. The same eyes that watched Anselmo’s life leave him. The same eyes that watched trees blur by in silence as Macleod and them waltzed through the forest. Making a new dance. A steady and careful one that moved them through the tree line and back into White Crest. The earthquake their body created brought in a devastating tsunami that they could not halt. And as the tap ran in their sink for a little too long, tears fell to join the waterfall. 

Dejection. That was the best word for their state. Even after washing all the blood and dirt from their skin, their body was still painted with gashes, scrapes, and bruises. The chunk of neck bitten off being the focal point. It hadn’t closed nearly enough to not cause alarm. The hoodie Metzli wore barely covered it up and they didn’t have the proper medical dressings to patch it up. But that was okay for now. 

With the water shut off, Metzli moved back into the living room to sit on the couch. They had barely moved since they got back. Yuca didn’t leave their side, taking to following them everywhere. Small graces that they adored. “Ay mi vida, estoy bien.” They cooed and scritched her chin. Mind wandered to the events that transpired and they flinched. It was painful to look back, but Metzli supposed that was okay. They had lost so much, but gained as well. 

For instance, Metzli bit back at their clan for the first time ever. Made their first attempt at defense to show Eloy they were more than the definitions he thrust upon them. The painful history was embraced and within it they found the strength to rewrite the legacy. At least, that was the hope. A hope that came in waves and left Metzli to settle in their anguish when it receded with the tide. 

Milo was undeniably anxious, but he knew he needed to visit Metzli. Even if Bex would be there with them, even if it felt awkward, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable. He wanted to believe Bex wasn’t scared of him, he wanted to believe things could return to how they had been. He supposed the only way to repair their friendship was to move forward, to focus on the present. And in the present, Metzli needed them. Metzli needed them both. So, swallowing, he hitched his backpack a little higher, hearing the three bloodbags inside it slosh in a way most people would probably find disturbing. He had been sure to drink one before leaving the house, not wanting to feel any kind of thirst or temptation when his friend inevitably tore into them. Metzli had only told him to bring one, but in his experience it was far better to have too many than too few, especially when recovering from an injury. Climbing the stairs, taking them carefully in a bid to prolong his arrival, he caught a scent he recognised, a scent that confirmed he wasn’t as early as he might have hoped. Maybe it wouldn’t matter who arrived first, but he had convinced himself he would feel less self conscious if he was already in the apartment when Bex arrived. Of course, nothing was ever that simple, so he grit his teeth, forcing down what was left of his anxiety before making his way towards the end of the hall.

Bex was standing outside Metzli’s apartment, hand raised ready to knock, and he felt a jolt of guilt upon seeing her. Resisting the urge to turn and retreat, he reminded himself that he was going to have to talk to her eventually. It wasn’t fair to avoid her, not after everything he had put her through. Taking heavy steps so that she would be made aware of his presence, he caught her eye as she turned to face him, offering her a hesitant smile. Metzli’s words echoed in his mind, predator, and prey. He repressed a shudder, refusing to acknowledge them. Jeez, it shouldn’t be this difficult. His skin was crawling as he remembered the last time they had seen each other. He hated it, he hated this. He hated what he had become. “Hey…” He whispered, not wanting to draw attention to their arrival just yet. “Does… does Metzli know you’re here?” 

Bex didn’t know if vampires had first-aid kits. When Milo had shown up to their house needing stitches, Bex had wondered if it was because he didn’t have the right tools at his own. She didn’t really know how well vampires healed from wounds. She knew how fast Mina healed, she knew Morgainterrupting n healed instantly, she knew Deirdre healed quickly, she knew she herself healed extremely slow-- she still had the cuts from Milo’s teeth nearly piercing her skin before she’d thrown him off on her neck, after all-- but she didn’t know how fast vampires really healed. Milo had said his wounds had taken a few days to heal, but how bad were Metzi’s? If they’d almost died, they had to be worse, and Bex hated that thought. She didn’t know what she needed, if she needed anything, but she still stuffed the entire first-aid kit into her purse, sutures and gauze and hydrogen peroxide and all, before racing off to Metzli’s apartment. 

She hadn’t even considered how she’d feel seeing Milo again. She figured it would all just be fine, she wasn’t mad at him or anything, and she knew he hadn’t meant it, but when he called out to her and she turned to see him, her body felt frozen, and she felt her magic rushing defensively to the surface, as if expecting him to lunge again. “I-- no, they-- no,” she stumbled over her words a bit, swallowing back the fear and the guilt and lowering her hand. “I haven’t knocked yet. I ran all the way here and winded myself,” she found herself admitting, for no reason, really. She always rambled when she was anxious, or when she was worried, or when she was panicked. Especially when she was all three. “We should go inside, though. We should really just--” but she still didn’t move, blinking as she looked at Milo.

Milo wasn’t sure whether to move closer, or stay where he was. The last thing he wanted to do was make Bex uncomfortable. Hovering awkwardly, he couldn’t help the familiar rush of affection he felt when she told him she had run to the apartment. It hadn’t been necessary. They both knew Metzli wasn’t going anywhere, but Bex wouldn’t rest until she was by their side. She needed to be there for them as quickly as she was physically able. Sometimes he found himself wishing she would put herself first, even once. But it wasn’t in her nature, and as somebody who frequently put himself first, he found it to be an incredibly admirable trait. “Yeah, we- we probably should.” He eyed the door, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before speaking again, stopping her from announcing their arrival. He needed to say something, he wouldn’t feel right until he apologised. “Bex-” He took a hesitant step closer, breaking off as he struggled to find the right words. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it but I- I’m really sorry.” Apologies were difficult, he spent most of his life deflecting responsibility so that he wouldn’t have to accept it. But this was different, he owed her this much. 

Glancing down at her neck, tearing his gaze away before it could linger on the scarf hiding the evidence of his attack, he cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably. “I didn’t know I could lose it like that, not when I wasn’t hungry. I still have so much to learn but it… it shouldn’t come at the expense of my friends.” He caught her eye, his vision suddenly blurred by tears. He hurried to blink them away. “I should have told you- the moment I realised you were bleeding, I should have told you how I was feeling. It wasn’t fair… I was just so scared, and confused, and when the danger was gone this relief came crashing down and it overwhelmed me.” He took another step forward, listening to her heartbeat to ensure he wasn’t making her nervous. “Can you forgive me?” His voice sounded small, even to his own ears, and he realised he felt small. If she said no, he would be crushed. This level of vulnerability was alien, and unfamiliar to him. “I don’t want you to forgive me because you want me to be okay. I want you to be honest, Bex… I only want you to be okay.” 

Bex turned to knock again but Milo said her name and she paused mid motion, again, glancing over at him. He wanted to talk about what happened and that made sense, but Bex didn’t really want to talk about it. This didn’t feel like the right time to talk about it. But she couldn’t just go inside and ignore him. She turned to look at him as he spoke, stumbling this way through an apology. And it wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate it, but she was curious. Hadn’t she already told him it was okay? That she didn’t blame him? Well, he hadn’t stayed online long enough for her to say much. She’d asked if he was okay and wanted to make sure that he was okay, and he hadn’t said much back. She looked at her feet, and then at him. “I-- I never said I didn’t want to talk about it,” she corrected quietly, shuffling her feet. “And I know. That you’re sorry. I know all that. I--” she stopped mid sentence, perplexed. “What do you mean can I forgive you? I already did? Milo, that...everything that happened that night was my fault. I don’t blame you for what happened. We were-- things were bad and dire and sometimes we just lose control. I...I know that feeling.” And she did, god did she know. Maybe it wasn’t a bloodlust or a murderous rage, but it was rage-- rage that could hurt and could make you bleed and could kill. 

“I forgive you,” she stated, “I promise.” 

The ringing in Metzli’s ears began to subside and they could hear Milo and Bex clear as day outside of the door. Yuca was rubbing up against it, the first time she’d strayed away from their side. Legs moved involuntarily towards her, towards the voices of friends that were coming over to help. Statements of apologies and blood and control and forgiveness…

Voices cut in and out, growing muffled and clear over and over again. It was a state of mind they hadn’t experienced before. A culmination of what had happened. A product of violence, pain, and distress. Metzli’s friends needed time, so they gave it to them. Waiting by the door, playing with the pendent Macleod had given them. Pressure built and it waned, only to build up once again. As a promise was spoken and as it tethered to Milo, the door opened suddenly. Eyes darted back and forth from the clasp around the door to Milo and Bex standing outside of the doorframe. 

“Uh…I—super hearing.” Their voice was a mutter, barely audible. Metzli couldn’t move, realizing that they had just revealed not only what they heard, but their current state. 

Milo faltered. Bex was right, she hadn’t said that. He realised, not for the first time, that he was projecting onto her. He was the one finding it impossible to navigate their situation. And he was trying to blame her for the emotional turmoil. He stayed silent, mulling over his realisation, along with his friend’s reassurances. He didn’t feel as though he had earned them, but he needed them far too much to try and deny himself. Feeling his shoulders drop as tension he didn’t know he was carrying left his body, he smiled again. This smile was far more sincere, a genuine smile, conveying his love, and his gratitude. “Not everything,” he pointed out. If he had only been better at communicating, she could have helped him, or made her escape before he lost control of himself. Instead, he had allowed himself to become distracted, too embarrassed, and ashamed of his craving to admit that he might be a danger. “I’ll be better.” He added. “I will.” Reaching up to brush the tears out of his eyes, doing his best to compose himself, Bex had been one of the first people to explain the true depth of a promise, and it wasn’t lost on him how important it was that she was making one now. She was okay. She wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t the truth, and he finally, finally allowed himself to relax. It felt as though a weight had been lifted from his chest, but before he could fully process the sensation, the door beside Bex opened to reveal Metzli; battered, and bruised, but otherwise whole. 

[MED BLOOW TW]

Staring at them in shock, hoping his concern wasn’t obvious in his expression, he did his best to assess their injuries without drawing attention to them. Jeez, they were so much worse than he ever could have imagined. Maybe he should be fussing over them, running his hands through their hair to check for any further damage, observing their pupils for signs of concussion, or their temperature in case they had developed an infection. But Metzli was a vampire, and despite being one himself, he still wasn’t adept when it came to undead first aid. So  he decided to do what he was good at, and he played off the situation as casual. “You look like shit.” The words escaped him before he could question whether they were appropriate, and he reached into his backpack, pulling out a bloodbag to thrust it upon Metzli. They needed to drink, that much he was sure of. Ignoring the smell of death that seemed to surround them, the congealed, and disconcerting scent of blood no longer circulating its body, he brushed past them into their apartment, gesturing towards the now empty couch. “Sit, Metzli. I mean it, you need to rest.”

[MED BLOOD TW END] 

Bex, unlike MIlo, let all the worry and concern and fear show on her face. She was bad at hiding it now. She’d spent twenty-one years learning how to hide how she felt only to have it undone by just a few people in a matter of months. “Metzli,” Bex exhaled and as Milo pushed past, she just surged forward and wrapped her arms around them and felt the physical weight of their body in her arms and knew that it was real. They were okay. They were alive. She couldn’t even remember how many times she’d worried Mina wouldn’t come home, how many times she’d looked at her text messages and wondered if it was just someone else texting her and it wasn’t real. Things never felt real. But this was real. Metzli was real. She blinked back tears as she unfurled, reluctantly, and looked up at their face. It was torn and cut and bruised and there was just a gaping wound in their neck and Bex had to swallow because the last time she’d seen someone this torn up was when she’d found Mina half-dead in a forest clearing, bleeding out caught in a bear trap. 

“Sorry, I-- I didn’t hurt you, did I?” She scraped the back of her hand across her eyes, wiping the tears away and gently tugging them inside, shutting the door. “Milo’s right, you should sit. I-- I brought supplies. First aid supplies. I can-- treat some of that. Or try to. I’m not a doctor but I know a little bit. I know how to do stitches, I learned after-- I learned recently.” Maybe, if she kept talking, she wouldn’t think about the people she cared about dying. Maybe her thoughts wouldn’t stop long enough for her to see them dead and bleeding and screaming. Maybe, if she kept talking, the images Roy had made her see wouldn’t come back.

[MED BLOOD TW]

Everything happened at once. The blood bag in their hand and the feeling of being squeezed forced Metzli to tense their whole body. But they were relieved, so happy to see both of them. And despite the lingering feeling of hope and happiness, their body trembled. From what exactly, they didn’t know. It was overwhelming, though and they were unprepared for how the effects would make their body react. Tightened eyes caused stars to shine brightly, even tighter body caused the two to stumble and push out a small groan. “Not any more hurt than I was before.” A smile teetered off of their face and pupils contracted as vampiric instincts infected their body. “B-Bex, back up—” They managed to say just before swiveling their body away from her to pierce the bag and wolf down the contents. The blood was the antidote and the effects of it were jarring. Having grown used to the dryness of their throat, Metzli hadn’t anticipated the bulldozing relief of consuming sustenance. Legs gave out and knees buckled, followed by a bony thud when they made impact with the floor. 

[MED BLOOD TW END]

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Overwhelmed.” Metzli quickly said with an uncharacteristically empty voice. “Thanks, Milo.” The two locked eyes for a blink and the vacancy in theirs was prominent. Fear and pain made Metzli ill and deteriorated the person they once were. They were practically unrecognizable. Not from appearance, but from energy, or lack thereof.

A leg pulled forward, a hand leveraged itself on a knee, and they were upright once more. Bruises and cuts, even the bite, they were all visibly healing. Metzli felt better too. Not by much, but it was enough. More than enough. At least, physically. Emotionally and mentally, they felt far from better. But when it came to issues of the heart, the vampire tried to pretend they were unaffected. Even if it was useless. “I don’t know if I need medical attention. Most things aren’t as deep as they were. Don’t know if, um…” Words failed them, too nervous about fully revealing their most severe wound. A trembled hand pulled their hoodie down a little, and Metzli avoided both pairs of eyes. “Don’t know if you can stitch this. It’s uh, wide.”

Milo watched Bex embrace Metzli as he dropped his bag by the kitchen unit. There was something so wholesome about it, he could feel just how much his friends cared for each other. And he knew that if he was the one injured, they would be there for him in the same way. A strange realisation. He had spent so long only really having Dani, and a handful of people who enabled his habits, but who didn’t feel as though they could really be considered friends. Now he was surrounded by love in a way he never had been. In a way that made his still heart ache inside his chest. Maybe this was what it felt like to truly belong. Catching Bex’s eye at the mention of stitches, he offered her a gentle smile, remembering how she and Mina had taken care of him when he was drunk with nobody else to turn to. Averting his gaze as Metzli withdrew, turning their back to drink the blood he had given them, he wasn’t sure whether he was imagining the awkward tension. If Bex’s words in the hall were anything to go by then it was entirely in his head. But he didn’t look back up until Metzli had finished drinking.

The moment they were done with the empty plastic, he moved forward to take it back, but before he had the chance Metzli had fallen to their knees. Feeling a jolt of fear, he hurried to reach them, trying to understand why they had suddenly collapsed. The expression on their face was so unfamiliar, and when they spoke he realised they no longer sounded like Metzli. It was clear they were suffering mentally as well as physically, but right now their physical wellbeing was the only thing he could actively help with. “There’s more where that came from.” He told them, crouching beside them so they were on the same level. “I brought three bags, and I can always get more…” Trailing off, up close the bruises and cuts looked so much worse. He couldn’t help but stare at their throat, at the skin and tissue that was healing, but nowhere near fast enough to stop the injury from looking absolutely horrific. “Even if it doesn’t help, we’re treating you.” He said, leaving no room for argument as he forced himself to focus. He shot Bex a look, knowing they both felt the same way. It might not make a difference but they longed to be proactive, they wouldn’t be able to rest until they knew they had done everything within their power to heal their friend. “Come on, sit down…” When he was sure Metzli was steady on their feet, he stood upright, gestured towards the couch again, making sure they followed his instruction. Wincing, unable to help himself, as they pulled down the collar of their hoodie, he pushed his glasses further up his nose. “We’ll do what we can, okay?”

Bex tried to do as Metzli said and back away, but before she knew it, they were collapsing to their knees, and even Milo was rushing to their side to see if he could help. She fought the urge to grab them in her arms again and sidled over, uneasy, wondering if she should help or if she was supposed to still stay back. The blood bag was emptied, though, so she took that as a sign that she’d be able to approach. “Milo’s right, let’s just...get you to the couch and go from there,” she said, nodding, trying not to look at or think about the cuts and bruises on Metzli’s face. And that was just what she could see. She held out a hand, even as Metzli showed them the extent to the injury on their neck and Bex tried not to think about how it matched the gash in Mina’s side that Frank had left behind. She hurried Metzli over to the couch as much as she could, before dropping her purse and pulling out the first-aid kit she’d brought. “Okay, maybe no stitches, but I can at least wrap it, right? Cover it up a little, make sure it heals right. I mean, me and Mina helped Milo a few weeks ago, so this isn’t, like any different.”

She didn’t know if that was true, she didn’t think it was true. But she had to believe that, if she could heal the wounds, then maybe the ones inside might get better, too. Her hands shook as she unraveled a roll of gauze and held it up. “Just let us help, okay? That’s why we’re here. And-- and this way you won’t have to worry about hurting it more or getting things in the wound.”

With a nod, Metzli took Bex’s hand and listened to both of their friends. The weight they were feeling before, having to carry everything on their own, began to subside. It wasn’t just them carrying it anymore. This was a boxing match that they were tapping out of, for now, so their friends could take over. “Thanks,” They muttered, looking distantly at the black television in front of the couch. “Help. Right. I, uh. Right.” They removed the hoodie slowly, groaning in discomfort from the aches and pains. A slew of bruises and cuts covered their skin and two stab wounds lay at their lower abdomen. “Forgot about those.” A shaky finger pointed and they chuckled dryly. Being taken care of wasn’t a norm and it brought a sense of anxiety with it. Is this okay? Is this right? They’re in danger because of you. And despite the thoughts that circled in their mind, that paced a trail of misery, they leaned back onto the couch. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Which was a lie, it was even worse than it looked. Taking on several vampires, especially one that was over two hundred year old was extremely dangerous. The results of it were devastating and created wounds deeper than what any stab wound could make. “I’m really sorry you guys are caught up in this now. It’s my fault. And if I need to leave, I will. I swear.” Metzli began to ramble, to panic now that the mass was shared and no longer held the dam of anxiety and fear back. “I’m just sorry.” Was all that could be said as they looked away to avoid their friends from seeing their tears. 

Feeling an odd sense of pride upon hearing he was right, Milo pushed it aside so that he could focus on helping Bex. He didn’t get many things right in his life, but maybe he had found something he was genuinely good at. Maybe he was good at helping his friends. At the mention of his stitches, he pointedly rolled up his sleeve, showing Metzli the faint marks left by the first aid that his friends had applied. It hadn’t been too long ago, but months may as well have passed him by. “Barely even a scar, I think it’ll be gone in a week or two.” He added, as though Metzli needed any more convincing. They didn’t look like they had the energy to protest, which was probably going to work in their favour. When they were comfortably settled on the couch, he pulled a second blood bag out of his backpack, handing it to them with a look that told them they had no choice but to drink it. “She’s pretty good, you know… Doctor Bex. Even as a vampire, I doubt it’s healthy to leave it all exposed like that…” Catching Bex’s eye, a warmth spreading outwards from his chest when she said we’re, he smiled at her, pulling his sleeve back down again. They were in this together now, with a common goal. With somebody they needed to protect. “And we’re not going anywhere either.” He moved to take a seat beside Metzli, knowing he didn’t have much to offer beyond moral support, and some blood. Bex had the tools to really help, and he trusted her medical abilities. 

Understanding Metzli taking Bex’s hand was a sign of submission, a sign of surrendering themself to her care, he grinned, and it came far more easily than he might have expected. The situation was serious, and terrifying, but they had each other. And at least he and Bex weren’t going to have to fight against any stubborn insistence, or false bravado. “You don’t have to thank us, moron.” He carefully tugged at the hem of Metzli’s hoodie, helping to get it over their head without the material brushing against the worst of their injuries. Folding it neatly in his lap, it took all of three seconds for Yuca to jump onto it, obviously comforted by the scent of her owner. “Jeez, Metzli…” He muttered, looking away as they gestured towards their stomach. It seemed they had managed to get hurt in every area physically possible. How they were still walking and talking remained a mystery. “Bullshit.” He countered. “It’s every bit as bad as it looks. Why else do you think we came?” Scratching Yuca behind the ears, he pointedly held their gaze, daring them to try and contradict him. “And you’re not going anywhere either. No fucking way. What would you say if this was one of us?” He asked. It was undeniably a rhetorical question. One that they all knew the answer to. Making an effort to soften his tone as he noticed the sudden peak in Metzli’s anxiety, he leaned forward so that they would be forced to look at him. “Hey… Hey, look at me, Metzli. You don’t have to worry about anything else right now, just look at me and- I don’t know, tell me something interesting? What’s your favourite colour?” Glancing at Bex, he silently conveyed his plan to distract Metzli while she set to work on treating them. “Or favourite song? If you say anything with an apology in the title I will destroy your hoodie, don’t think I won’t.” 

It was strange. Last time Bex had been trying to patch up someone this beat up, she’d had too few medical supplies, wondering if they’d make it through to the morning, or if they might both just die in the night. This time, she had too much supplies, as she sorted through the first-aid kit and looked for something labeled antiseptic or antibiotic. There was a little spray bottle with hydrogen peroxide in it and she picked it up, listening to Milo talk to Metzli. He seemed at ease, in his element, right now. Bex, however, could only let dark thoughts consume her, as she sprayed a cotton pad with the peroxide and tried not to show the horror on her face when the rest of their injuries came into view. She bit the inside of her cheek, glancing away and occupying herself with finishing up prepping the bandages. “Just...hold still,” she said after a moment, holding up the pad and pressing it to the patch on their neck, before she took the gauze and began wrapping it around. “That’s um, not too tight, is it?” She moved in closer to make sure she wasn’t messing it up, before taking the small scissors and cutting it off. Taped it down gently and sat back, looking to the gashes on their stomach.

[MED BLOOD TW/DOMESTIC ABUSE TW]

All she could see was the oozing, black wound Frank had left on Mina’s side and Bex fought to not just leap up and run away. She reached out with shaky fingers to touch gently next to the wound on their abdomen. “I should probably clean this, first,” she explained, trying not to let the anxiety and warble of Metzli’s voice get to her just yet. She couldn’t cry just yet. She looked over at Milo, then to Metzli. “It’s true. There’s no need to apologize. We-- we’re here because we want to be. Because you’re important to us.” She breathed in, held it. She hated seeing the people she cared about like this, while being too weak to do anything. Mina, Milo, Metzli...they could do these things, while Bex’s fragile heart barely let her get up the stairs nowadays. “No one’s going anywhere.”

[MED BLOOD TW/DOMESTIC ABUSE TW END]

With a deep swallow, Metzli managed to look back at Milo and listen fully. He sounded kind and worried. He sounded like he truly cared. Bex too. But her care came in the form of actions as she got them patched up. She moved with the gentlest of touch and caution, making them feel safe. “Mauve. Or forest green. Both nice colors.” They began, piercing the second blood bag that Milo had given them and sipping on it as they pondered on the second question. Most of their favorite songs were likely ones neither of them had heard of. Being that they were both classical and Mexican in origin. So they picked something they may recognize. “Oddly enough, I like that Linkin Park group. Uh, One More Light. Or that Swift chick. That new album was actually written okay-ish.” The corner of Metzli’s mouth curved into a small smirk, before frowning from the small wince they reacted from the gauze with. “No, not too tight. It just hurts in general.” 

The tremor in Bex’s voice began to set in a worry that couldn’t be fought off. Wolfing down the last remnants of the blood bag, Metzli lifted a hand to Bex’s face and had her pause for a moment while they cupped her cheek. “You can take a second. I know it’s a lot. Just breathe a little. I’m okay. I’m alive.” Slowly, that same hand backed away and patted Milo’s shoulder. They smiled wryly, but it was soft and grateful. “You too. Thank you. Both of you.” 

[DOMESTIC/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW]

Never having a real family, Metzli always had to step out on their own, taking lonely steps into the storm. Weathering it alone was hard, and sometimes it seemed impossible. But right now, the future, making it there, seemed very possible. They were no longer left to get bloodied and dirtied alone, and maybe they couldn’t fully accept it yet, but they were going to try. Because it felt good. Because it felt right. It felt right to use the veins of their heart like a thread to connect themselves, their own heart to others who were willing to go into war with them. Others like Milo and Bex. And in the end, they wouldn’t have to count their pride as one of the casualties. Relying on people didn’t have to mean sacrificing pride. It just meant that you were expanding on it. Being proud of who you had. 

[DOMESTIC/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW END]

“Do I at least still look good?”

Staying quiet so that he wouldn’t disrupt Bex, Milo listened to Metzli’s answers, deciding that forest green suited them as a person. “Mauve is nice…” He agreed, his voice gentle as he did his best to distract them from any pain they might be feeling. “I like yellow… I think it’s a happy colour.” Anybody who knew him would be able to see yellow was his favourite. From his knitted sweaters, to his converse, he wore yellow far more often than not. The smell of blood hit him with force as Metzli began to drink the second bag, he was far closer than he had been for the first one. But he didn’t allow himself to dwell, almost proud of the fact that he was able to force down any thirst he felt. “You like Linkin Park?” He echoed in disbelief, doing nothing to stop a laugh from escaping him. “Do people even listen to them anymore?” Raising his eyebrows at the following names, if he had been surprised by Linkin Park, he was downright shocked to hear his friend list Taylor Swift as an artist they enjoyed. “Wow, I knew you had bad taste,” he teased, “but not that bad. This might be the end of our friendship.” His smile growing when he noticed Metzli’s lips twitch, it was all the validation he needed to continue in his strategy. But he was pulled out of his own thoughts by Metzli reaching out to caress Bex, their fingers soft, and comforting against her cheek. He suddenly felt guilty, remembering this wasn’t just about Metzli. He was used to the aftermath of injuries, not only because he was a vampire, but because of the people he used to surround himself with as a human. 

He had been known to panic under the stress of chaos, but things weren’t chaotic right now. He was more than adept when it came to focusing on the task at hand, but maybe Bex wasn’t. Maybe this was a lot for her. Realistically, it should be a lot for anyone. “Alive, with terrible taste in music, apparently.” He added, hoping to draw a smile from both of his friends. It made sense to try and comfort them while he was the most emotionally stable, even if he wasn’t used to that particular brand of responsibility. Leaning into Metzli’s touch, he shook his head to brush off their thanks. “No thank yous, and no apologies, okay?” He ordered, knowing they were never going to follow his instruction. He could hold a stake to their heart and they would insist upon taking the blame. “The assumption being that you ever looked good?” He asked, feigning innocence despite laughing at his own joke, despite the deep, and painful injuries littering Metzli’s skin, despite being unable to avoid acknowledging just how close they had come to death… true death. He wanted to cling to the fact that they had survived their attack. They were still here, and for a brief moment in time, nothing else needed to matter.

Bex listened as she worked and tried to use their conversation as a distraction as much as Metzli was. Milo was doing a good job, keeping them at ease, even if they all knew this mess had been created by something far more terrible than it was being made out to be. She swallowed and tried to calm the shaking in her hand, reaching over with her free hand to stabilize it when she felt a cold hand against her cheek. She looked up to meet Metzli’s eyes, still for a moment, as she tried not to just surge forward and hug them again. But they were right, she had to remind herself they were right. They were alive and they were okay, and they could take their time, now, to regather and come up with a better plan so that this didn’t happen again. So that there wouldn’t be a repeat of what happened. So that Bex wouldn’t have to live through another Frank trying to kill someone she cared about. 

She nodded and set her hands in her lap. She felt embarrassed, almost, that she couldn’t keep it together long enough to patch up her friend. Even Milo was taking this better than her. She knew Milo and Metzli were close, but she wondered if it was a different kind of close than her and Metzli. There was something between them but Bex couldn’t figure out what it was, exactly. “Taylor Swift is a great artist,” she said, mostly at Milo, before she gathered enough of herself to look back at Metzli and hold up the pad to begin cleaning their wounds. “And you look very handsome. Chicks dig scars anyway, right?”

Metzli scowled playfully at Milo, and blew a single raspberry at him. “Excuse me? I have great taste in music. Those are just the artists you’d know, for your information. Most of my music consists of classical and kumbia. At least you have decent taste in colors.” Stomach rumbled with their laughter and wincing only made them laugh more. Somehow laughing while in pain made it that much funnier. Being safe in the presence of friends made it feel safe to laugh. Whatever wounds they had would heal and fade, but the connection and care they had for one another wouldn’t. It was set in deeper than anyone could reach. 

Being confident in their looks, a hand shot up to flip Milo off accordingly. “You’re just coming after me, huh? At least Bex has taste. She can’t take her eyes off of me, see? And it totally does not have to do with my wounds. Just my wonderful physique.” Metzli couldn’t help the smile that they poorly held back, letting it turn into a fit of laughter as they adjusted themselves to be closer to Bex and settle down. When the spray hit their wound, it surprisingly stung, making their hand jerk and squeeze Bex’s knee. If there was anyone they trusted to be remotely affectionate with, it was her. Meanwhile, Milo was someone they trusted to speak openly with and find the balance between humor and venting. 

“By chicks, do you mean you, B—” They flinched again, and this time their other hand shot out to Milo, grabbing his hand. “Sorry. It stings a little.” Despite wanting to retract their hand, feeling like they may have invaded his space, they didn’t. The affection felt normal and like it was something they were missing out on. Letting themselves relax, they let their hands rest with each friend, finding comfort in it.

Grinning at Bex as she countered both of his statements, Milo’s eyes were shining in a way that made it clear just how much he enjoyed teasing her. It made things feel normal, somehow. And far less dire than they probably were. “Hm, this is something I have been told.” He added, trying to keep a straight face as though they were discussing an incredibly serious topic. “Why do you think I keep my scars to a minimum? I don’t want to spend my time fending them off, you know?” Biting down on his bottom lip to repress a smile, he gave up on any pretense when Metzli stuck their tongue out. It felt good to see them behaving so much like themself after their empty expression from earlier. It felt as though the presence of friends might be grounding them, might be slowly pulling them back to the surface. “So what you’re telling me is you have bad taste, and you’re pretentious?” He countered, catching Metzli’s gaze now that he was sure Bex had settled again. “Good to know.” Embarrassed to feel tears sting at his eyes when the unexpected sound of Metzli’s laughter hit him, he blinked them away, brushing at his cheeks with the sleeve of his hoodie. Bex and Metzli were both struggling, he needed to be the strong one, even if he didn’t really know how. “Yeah, I’m coming after you, because you nearly got yourself killed, and I don’t want to live in a world without Metzli Bernal, okay? This is me officially calling you out.” Glancing back at Bex, he couldn’t help but laugh. After so much worry, and concern, he needed this. He really fucking needed this.

Shifting on the couch so that Metzli had more room to adjust their position, the spray had obviously hurt them, but there wasn’t very much he could do to offer them comfort. He didn’t want to invade their personal space, but he was saved from the moral conflict when Metzli reached out first, taking his hand and holding it as though it was going to tether them, help them to navigate their obvious pain. He stared down at their hands, fingers linked as though it was natural, as though they had done this a million times before, and he realised with a jolt that it felt natural. He held them with a grip he hoped was gentle, and firm. He wanted them to know they were safe, at least for now. He wanted them to know that he was with them. “Squeeze my hand if it hurts, Metzli.” He prompted, noticing the way they were gripping at Bex’s knee. “My bones are a lot harder to break.” 

[MED BLOOD TW]

In the moment, Bex really appreciated the mutual understanding that Milo and her seemed to have. He knew what she needed from him, what Metzli needed from him, and he seemed to be trying his damndest to do it for them, despite the sparkle of tears that she saw glimmering in his eye. She tried to pass him a short smile before she grabbed the suture needle and held it up, frowning at Metzli’s teasing. Her cheeks turned red involuntarily and she looked away, hiding it as much as she could, before leaning forward and squeezing together one of Metzli’s wounds and jabbing the needle in, a little less gentle than she normally would have. “Oops,” she said, grinning innocently up at Metzli,” my bad.” As she continued, she gave it a much more gentle hand, making sure to not pull too hard as she threaded the needle through their cold, damp skin. She looked up at them when she was done with the first patch and smiled. “See? My sewing lessons in school actually paid off.” She ushered to the next one and for Metzli to shift so she could get better access to it, laying her hands flat on their side for a moment, warming the skin up around the wound. “And you do have a nice physique. I’m allowed to look,” she stated, as if there was no room for argument. She didn’t look over at Milo, though.

[MED BLOOD TW END]

She glanced down at their hand on her knee. “So what if I do dig scars? My girlfriend has plenty for me to admire.” She took up the needle again and set to work, looking over at Milo. “Please don’t break anything. I would like to only have to patch up one friend at a time, thanks.”

There was a strained laugh when Bex admitted she was allowed to look. It always felt so humorous when she revealed her attraction to Metzli in some form or fashion. They supposed it fed into their ego, but at this point, it was just a fun game. “It’s always hilarious to get you to admit I’m attractive. See, Milo? I’m hot.” Metzli laughed harder, but tried to contain it in order to let Bex work effectively. The wincing was kept to a minimum for the most part, but at some points, it was difficult to keep the groans of pain muffled. When they squeezed their hands, it wasn’t too hard, but enough to cause notice. “Sorry. I just—sorry.” The pain took them back to their fear, the fear of Eloy’s impending arrival. 

[DOMESTIC/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW]

With the final stitch, Metzli’s eyes shut tightly and they tried their best to hold whatever tears that flowed forward, back. They could see Anselmo attacking them, they could see Eloy punishing them once again, they could see themselves dying and all of it scared them. They’d never been scared of dying before, but then again, they’d never had anything to lose. All humor was lost now, and tears streamed down their face even though they tried desperately to go back to what they were before.

Finally, their voice broke through and Metzli was able to ask their friends what had been on their mind. “Has Master Eloy contacted both of you? Did he threaten you?”

[DOMESTIC/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW]

Milo watched Bex tease Metzli before fully dedicating herself to her task. It was clear she was feeling more comfortable, less overwhelmed by their current situation. Rolling his eyes at the mention of Metzli’s physique, he decided not to say anything. There were only so many times he could playfully disagree before it stopped being funny, and started feeling cruel. “Sure,” he answered instead. “You can’t choose what you’re into, right?” His smile growing when Bex began to talk about Mina’s scars, he ignored the voice in the back of his mind, the one telling him he was the only person in the room without some form of romantic interest. It was something he had been thinking about an awful lot, as of late. And he hated that he had started to want something so unnecessary, and inconsequential. Hadn’t he spent his entire life without a boyfriend, or a significant other? He was perfectly fine on his own. “Hey, if I break anything it’s going to be Metzli’s fault.” He pointed out, holding up their joined hands. “Don’t look at me.” Tightening his grip so that Metzli would know he wasn’t being serious, he inched closer to them, letting his shoulder rest against theirs. 

[EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW]

“Hot is subjective.” He added, unable to help himself when Metzli continued to encourage their friend. Though it was undeniably amazing to see them so genuinely happy, it didn’t last as long as he might have hoped. The pain, and reality of their injuries was all too ready to bring them back down again. But he stayed where he was, knowing they would find comfort in the physical contact. “Do you want to talk about something else?” He asked, noticing they had closed their eyes. If only he could distract them, but he wasn’t given the chance. If anything, Metzli decided now was the time to distract him. Caught off guard by the mention of Eloy, he so wished he could convince them to stop calling him Master. It made him uncomfortable, it was an unsettling reminder that no matter what Metzli said, they still had a warped sense of respect for the man, or at the very least some twisted sense of loyalty. Tensing in a way he knew wouldn’t go unnoticed, he caught Bex’s eye, silently questioning whether they should be honest about what had transpired. “I-” He broke off, the words dying in his throat. “I don’t think you should be worrying about that. Not right now.” 

[EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW END]

Bex’s nose scrunched. “Why’s it funny? I’ve never denied your attractiveness. You’re very attractive and so is Milo. You know,” she glanced over at him with a cheeky grin, “for a guy.” With the stitches finished, Bex leaned back. “There.” She reached out to pat Metzli’s leg, taking the hand they’d placed on her knee and squeezing it. Her face faltered at the mention of Eloy and the messages and she cast a quick look over to Milo, wondering what he might say about it. As she thought, he decided to try and avoid the topic. Milo didn’t like lying to his friends. He already told Bex he didn’t think she should hide this from Mina, but he didn’t understand-- sometimes you needed to lie, to keep people safe, to keep them okay. Mina was dealing with too much right now, she didn’t need this, too. And Metzli didn’t need to know what he’d said to her, they were also dealing with enough. Bex swallowed, forced a smile, and shook her head. “No, but, like Milo said, let’s not think about that right now,” she urged.

[DOMESTIC/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW]

Metzli was crying, though, and Bex really hated it when people she cared about cried. She reached out with her free hand and wiped away some of the tears on their face. “Hey, it’s okay,” she said softly, “you’re safe.” Those were words she’d needed to hear every time she’d thought her mother might come barging in to Morgan’s house and try and steal her away. Or every time she thought she might fall back into that dark alleyway where she was being mauled to death by a friend. Or stalked by Frank. Or dying in a cabin. You’re safe, you’re safe. But Bex was beginning to realize that no one was ever really safe. There wasn’t safe, there was just feeling safe. Being with people who you trusted to keep you safe, to protect you. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms back around Metzli, gently this time. She wanted to be that safe person. She could be that safe person. 

  [DOMESTIC/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW END]

And, besides, Eloy hadn’t technically threatened her. Only the people she loved. She’d tear him limb from limb while he was still alive, though, if he even touched any of them. That she was sure of.

Metzli zoned out again, consumed by the anxiety that was reeling through their mind. And then their hand was squeezed, and then arms surrounded them. Body went stiff and they almost lashed out until they could see Bex clearly. Safety. “Right. I don’t have to think about it…right now.” Relaxing into Bex, they let their tears fall and settled into her arms, still squeezing Milo’s hand. Having friends was not a bad thing. Connections weren’t bad. Everything Eloy had taught them was wrong. That was becoming more and more clear. 

“Can we just stay here?” Metzli asked through small, choked sobs. “I just want to feel safe.”

“Ha ha, can we not?” Milo deadpanned, his eyes shining as he looked between his friends. But he soon fell silent again, a familiar sense of sobriety settling over him. He hadn’t lied to Metzli, he had been honest in the fact that Eloy’s messages weren’t something they should be thinking about while they were trying to rest and recover. Bex had outright told them no, told them Eloy hadn’t made any effort to get into contact. His stomach churned uncomfortably, but he couldn’t bring himself to take back her words. It wasn’t his place, and it would only make the situation worse. Waiting patiently as Bex brushed away Metzli’s tears, he smiled to himself. There was something so genuinely innocent about Bex holding Metzli, nothing else really came into play. Age, species, soul or no soul… he would do almost anything for these two people. He loved them unconditionally, and that was what he needed to focus on. He saw Metzli tense upon instinct, but he also saw the moment they realised they were safe, saw the moment that tension filtered from their body to be replaced by something soft, and sincere. “No, you don’t…” He assured them, making a note to tell them about Eloy’s messages when they were feeling better. “Of course we can stay here… we aren’t going anywhere.” Reaching out to carefully pack away the medical supplies, when they were safely inside their container he wrapped an arm around Metzli, and Bex, pulling them closer so that he could rest his cheek against Metzli’s shoulder. There weren’t many places he considered home, but Metzli’s apartment was very quickly becoming one of them. 

Maybe, Bex thought, maybe things would all be okay. Maybe this problem would solve itself and no one else would get hurt. But she knew that wasn’t true. She didn’t say much as Milo folded into the hug with them and she settled her head against Metzli’s quiet chest. There was no heartbeat, and none from Milo either, so it was only her heart, beating slow but steady-- something it hadn’t done in a long time-- as she listened to the quiet sobs coming from her friend. She bit the inside of her cheek and held back her own. “We’ll stay,” she answered after a long moment of silence, “I’m not going anywhere.” She moved herself and shimmied onto the couch beside Metzli, kept them in her arms. “You’re safe.” 

And maybe Bex didn’t quite believe that, but she could make sure Metzli did. That was really all that mattered.

[stones-x-bones]

Just Friend Things|| Bex and Metzli

TIMING: Last Night PARTIES: @deathisanartmetzli and @inbextween SUMMARY: After being tricked into thinking Eloy was onto Metzli, Bex shows up breathless and in pajamas, worried sick. Emotions run high. Mistakes are made. CONTENT: Domestic abuse mentions, Infidelity, Self harm (Mentions/Thoughts)

The second Bex got the user offline notification, she took off in a sprint. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Not right now, not yet. He wasn’t supposed to be here yet. They need more time, she needed more time. She ran through what to do in her head when she got there. She wasn’t prepared. She didn’t have anything wooden and her magic was still recovering from the man in the woods and she didn’t even have a knife-- why didn’t she have a knife? She should have a knife. Bex was going to ask Mina to give her a knife when she got home. If she got home. No, she couldn’t afford to think like that. She would get home tonight, or she would get to Metzli, at least. And they said, they promised they’d do whatever they could to keep Bex safe, and maybe she was banking on that a little hard right now, but she knew Metzli would fight harder if Bex was there. If they were alone, they might just let him win, let him take them. But if Bex was there, they wouldn’t stop fighting. She hated that she knew that. She hated that she was using that.

She almost ran right past them, her vision narrowed to the front door of the apartment complex. She almost ran right past until she heard the grunts of pain and effort and Bex skidded to a halt and swerved around, facing the alley. For a moment, she got woozy. But she blinked through the blackness trying to eat at her mind and bolted into the alley. “Metzli! I--” but she was cut off by a yelp and a screech of pain, and then the figure that had been next to Metzli dissolve into ash. “I-- who-- what?” She stumbled over her words, her feet, knocking into a trash can. “Who was that? Was that him? Tell me what-- who was that?”

Metzli had felt eyes watching them for a while, even smelled the death that the vampire minion gave off as she watched them. Eloy wouldn’t stop, not until he got what he wanted. With an small army at his disposal, he had access to them, access to their life without ever needing to be there physically. But they had had enough, they stormed out of their apartment and followed the trail of death and copper to the alleyway where the woman hissed as they turned and realized she was found. 

She fought valiantly, but never stood a chance. Not when Metzli was much older and stronger. If there had been any ounce of mercy in them, it was gone the second they found her stalking them. It was gone when she whimpered and begged, right until the stake went through her chest and made her dissipate into nothing. She managed to land a few punches, leaving a few gashes, but it wasn’t enough to stop her imminent demise. The adrenaline, the rush of the kill made Metzli pounce as Bex approached. Stake was raised to attack once again. Her scent of honeydew and lemongrass that they had grown so fond of, registered and they stopped. 

“Bex? W-What are you doing here? Are you okay?” Metzli sounded frantic and searched for any visible wounds, no longer caring about what had just happened. 

Bex stumbled backwards when Metzli whirled on her, hands held up in the universal sign of surrender. “I’m sorry!” she squeaked, “I’m sorry! I just-- you were-- you stopped responding and he said he was going to take you and I was here anyway, so I came, I ran! Because I couldn’t let him take you, I thought he was going to--” she lost her breath in the middle of the sentence, grabbing onto the dumpster next to her to keep herself from falling over as a dizzy spell came over her. Her gaze landed on the pile of ash now sitting in the alley, behind Metzli, and Bex remembered when Dani had slayed that vampire woman who had tried to eat Bex outside the library, and the ash that had settled onto Bex’s clothes, and she had been a person, and Bex had thought about her for a very long time after. She’d nearly forgotten about it, but she remembered now.

Frantic eyes went back up to Metzli. “Who was that?” she asked again, when her breath came back and so did her words, and she realized she was still in what would be considered pajamas-- short shorts and a tank-- and she thrown on the wrong shoes, she was wearing Mina’s trainers, and she didn’t even have a sweater and it was cold outside, summer giving way to fall in the north. “Was it him?”

Arms wrapped around Bex as she swayed, and Metzli pulled her close to them to keep her steady. Worry took over and it took everything in them to not apologize over and over again for nearly staking her. “You ran all the way here?” A sense of something, they didn’t know what, made their chest warm at hearing her say that. It was an act of genuine care, maybe even love. “It wasn’t him. Just another member.” Their voice shook from the sheer amount of energy pulsing through them, but they focused all of it on Bex. “Here, you must be freezing.” They removed their hoodie and handed it over. All of the gashes and bruises from their trek with Eilidh had healed, but they were replaced with new ones. 

“Let’s get you inside. And then you can tell me what you mean when he said he’d take me.” Metzli hovered their arms over Bex and guided her to the entrance of the building. Navigating around the elevator and hallways, there were only two other tenants that had seen the pair and gave concerned looks, to which Metzli gave awkward smiles to. 

They were thankful when they reached their door, quickly opening it and leading Bex inside. Yuca immediately trotted up to the two of them and meowed. She pressed her body against Bex and purred loudly, letting her motor of happiness run as she saw a familiar friend. Brushing past Bex, they grabbed a cup from the kitchen and filled it with water before meeting back with Bex in the living room and handing it over to her. “Please tell me what happened.”

Bex supposed she was probably in shock. Or panic mode, still. She took the hoodie from Metzli and slid it on, but her eyes stuck to the new cuts and bruises on Metzli’s body. They reminded her of the ones on Mina. She wanted to ask why they did this to themself, hadn’t they had enough of that from their childhood? Bex had had enough. She’d had too much, actually. So much she almost craved pain, now, when she knew she was doing something bad, something wrong. Sometimes it didn’t feel right not being in pain. Maybe that was why she demanded to hurt herself for others. To get hurt for others. 

They were inside now and Bex looked up. Two people shuffling awkwardly by. Metzli waved, Bex stared. 

She shuffled inside Metzli’s apartment and stood just there in the living room, near the doorway, where they’d left her. Yuca was purring and rubbing against her and she looked down at her, wondering why cats made that noise. It was a nice noise. She’d have to do some research on it. The glass of water appeared in her vision and she looked up, taking the glass. She didn’t drink any. Instead, she reached out and ghosted her fingers across the gash on their stomach. “Who did this?”

Their gaze followed the path of Bex’s hand to their stomach and the corner of their mouth twitched. Though she tried to keep her hand hovering, Bex’s hand eventually brushed the cut and they shivered “Not a bad thing, actually. Uh, that wolf I told you about. Her name is Murphy. We got a little rough.” Metzli didn’t go into further detail. Instead, they placed a gentle hand at the base of Bex’s lower back and ushered her to the couch. She looked so tired and scared, but her heart was steadying, and Metzli couldn’t help but be grateful for that. It had been so erratic and violent in the way it thrashed in her chest, but this was completely different. It was as if she had a new heart. 

“Can you tell me exactly what happened? Like, what made you come here? Did master threaten you? Do I need to do something?” Metzli searched Bex’s eyes for answers, practically pleading. They were the one who was attacked but all they wanted to do was protect Bex. All they wanted to do was make sure she was okay. A hand slowly moved up to her cheek, but contact was not made. They took to letting it linger above her cheek and waiting for permission to give her small and gentle affections to comfort and quell any worries she had. If only it were that simple. 

Taking a deep breath, Metzli looked Bex worriedly in the eyes. “Is your heart okay? After running?”

Bex withdrew her hand quickly at the mention of the other woman. “Right…” she mumbled, blinking away from the haziness in her mind. The panic that had been shrouding her falling away. It wasn’t him, it wasn’t him. He wasn’t going to take Metzli away from her. Frank hadn’t taken Mina from her and Eloy wouldn’t take Metzli. Bex shook the thought away and let Metzli lead her over to the couch, sinking onto it, grateful to sit down. She hadn’t even realized how tired she was. Her legs were burning. She wasn’t much one for running. Jogging, sure, but not running. 

“I--” she started, stopped. “He messaged me again.” She admitted quietly. She hadn’t wanted to tell them, hadn’t wanted to tell anyone, and she was fighting her instincts to keep it down, keep it hidden. She was trying, really, to be better. To tell people things. “Said something about coming to get you. And then he sent me pictures of you painting, and of your door and of you outside. And I just--” 

She paused. Metzli’s hand was hovering near her cheek. The only person she let touch her face was Mina. She paused because she wanted to let Metzli console her. She shouldn’t want that. She reached up to take Metzli’s hand, instead-- a compromise-- and set it in her lap, squeezing. “It’s fine, really. It’s better. I’m okay.”

Again. Eloy had messaged her again. This was of no surprise. Metzli knew he was taunting those they cared about, but being faced with the reality of it didn’t make it easy to accept. He loved his games so much. Seeing the fear and distress in someone’s eyes excited him. And at one point, Metzli had shared a similar excitement over it. When they were much more deluded and brainwashed. Memories of that disgusted them and they hated themselves for it. Being consumed with self-hatred was out of the question though, and they focused on Bex. 

“I’m okay, Bex. We’re okay.” Metzli squeezed her hand and locked eyes with her to show the life behind them. Gratitude washed over their features and they almost couldn’t help pulling her in for a tight hug. They refrained and took to just stroking their thumb over the back of her hand. “I won’t let him take me. I told you I’d fight, that we would fight, didn’t I?” The urge to wrap their arms around her grew but they stayed back. She didn’t have to say it, but Metzli knew she loved them. They couldn’t ask for more, not really. 

Seeing the pain in her eyes made it hurt though, and the conversation from earlier resurfaced. Bex’s pain made their unmoving heart ache, and that was something Metzli didn’t know was possible. Mentally shaking their head, they tried to find something else to focus on and found that Bex’s apparel was a good substitute for their current conversation. “Are you wearing pajamas?” They chuckled at their teasing, hiding the enjoyment they felt from seeing Bex wear their hoodie.

“Yes, no, I know, I know, I just--” Bex started again, stopped. She needed to stop working herself up, these were some of the reasons her heart had failed. She needed to learn how to trust other people weren’t going to leave her or get taken away from her. She needed to actually trust them. She ran a hand over her face, through her hair, before shaking her head. “I know you’ll fight, I know. I just...I couldn’t help it. I got so scared.” That almost seemed to be a running theme, even with Mina. Especially with Mina lately. She kept going out more and more and Bex felt the disconnect between them growing and it pained her. 

Bex looked up confused. “What?” Looked down at herself. “Oh.” She pressed her palm into her bare thigh. “I-- maybe. Look, I didn’t think I’d have time to change and get here in time to keep someone from trying to kidnap you.” She remembered how easy it had been for Frank to take her and how long it took Mina to realize something was wrong and how long it had taken them to find her, and the boy had been on her mind a lot, lately, and she couldn’t figure out why. Instead, she tried to find comfort in this moment, where no one had been taken and no one would be and Bex hadn’t been too late. She scooted closer to Metzli and rest her head against their shoulder. 

“They’re cute pajamas, though, aren’t they?” she asked, leaning into the distraction. 

Metzli laughed and held back a jolt when Bex made contact with their shoulder. They really needed to get used to a gentle approach. “You really think it’s gonna be that easy to kidnap me? I kicked ass.” The lighter undertones in each of their voices came to the forefront and it made it easier to navigate the conversation. Their head laid softly above Bex’s and they sighed happily. The past hour had been so hectic and fast, that letting themselves fall into something simpler and safer was welcomed. “She didn’t even get a decent hit in. Just a lame scratch.” The affection brought a huge sense of tranquility to the apartment, and they nearly kissed Bex’s head when they turned to raise it up and look at her.

“Very cute. They go well with my hoodie.” Another moment to tease, another tick towards a real feeling of safety. And then Metzli looked at their hands, still holding the other closely, not wanting to let go in case this wasn’t reality. Squeezing gently, another smiled formed and Yuca leapt onto Bex’s lap, pawing at her to give her attention. “The neediest little baby. She wouldn’t even leave me alone while I painted. But she’s actually the one who brought my attention to the woman. She hissed at the window and I finally recognized the scent. Yuca to the rescue.” Their free hand reached over and gave the feline the attention she requested, and the giggle that surfaced couldn’t be held back.

“I dunno, could be,” Bex shrugged, “I’ve never tried so how would I know? You seem like you’d get in my van if I pulled up and asked you to.” And it was mostly a joke and it should’ve been a joke, they were just teasing, but Bex couldn’t stop thinking about how easily Frank had taken her. Was it because she trusted him? Would she have been so easy to take if she hadn’t? Was it her fault for being too weak, too trusting, too something? Her skin crawled a moment and she pulled her feet up beneath her on the couch. “You have too many scratches and cuts.” She reached over with her free hand again and pointed to the gash. “Why do you let her do that to you?”

Bex jumped a little when Yuca crawled into her lap. She somehow still wasn’t used to it, despite living with three cats at home. Anya mostly stuck around Morgan, though she loved winding herself between Bex’s legs when she walked around the kitchen. And Moira liked Deirdre best, and Niamh was still a little tentative around the others. Bex let her hand brush over Yuca’s back. “At least one of you is looking out for trouble,” she cooed, scratching under her chin. She looked down at the hoodie she had on, Metzli’s hoodie. It was warm and comfortable. It felt nice. She turned to look up at them. “Did you have pets as a kid?” she asked, though she probably knew the answer.

Metzli snorted and would have most certainly blushed if that were possible from the bit of embarrassment they felt, but thankfully, death had its perks. “Only if you had a really good assortment of blood.” A sense of normalcy crept in, but it almost instantly receded as Bex pointed at their biggest wound. “What? I—uh, I—I don’t know. It just…” Their hand broke free and went through their hair, tugging slightly. Typical stem for them to do while under stress. “It just feels good in the moment. It’s fun. I used to be so scared of pain, that somewhere along the way, it started to feel kind of good, I guess.” Averting Bex’s gaze, they scooted away from her slightly and something akin to shame seeped into their skin. “Never done the tender sex thing. Most women I attract want to go as rough as possible. But, uh, I have been craving soft. Macleod was soft for a few moments, before we—before the attack. I liked it. But I don’t know if that’s her thing. And it definitely isn’t this chick’s thing.” They pointed at the gash and bounced their leg uncomfortably. “Why do you ask, anyway?”

When Yuca got exactly what she was looking for, she purred loudly. The sound always brought a sense of comfort to Metzli and they were grateful for her tenacity to make everything about her. But Bex made sure to basically play the reverse card. “No. No pets. Lots of dogs hung out on the roofs though. It was pretty funny. Yuca is my first pet. I found her as a stray with a broken leg. I couldn’t leave her to die, so I did everything I could to save her. Been together ever since.”

“Pretty sure I could just offer mine and you’d come,” Bex said, rolling her eyes. She maybe shouldn’t have asked that, but after seeing how badly Metzli had been torn up after their trip, she found herself adverse to the idea of seeing them hurt like that again, and here they were, doing it willingly. Bex didn’t understand it. Maybe she did. Maybe she should. Maybe sometimes she, too, craved pain, but she never got pleasure from it. It never felt good. She wondered if it was supposed to feel good. She knew she’d asked the wrong question when they removed their hand from hers and scooted away and she felt a pang in her chest, looking down at Yuca in her lap. “Sorry,” was all she mumbled. “Nothing. I-- It’s nothing.” 

She tried to play it off by readjusting herself, moving Yuca further onto her lap as she turned and stretched her legs across Metzli’s, leaning back so she could look at them properly now. “I can’t believe you ever tried to pretend like you weren’t a giant softie,” she said. “I never had any pets, either. I didn’t even consider that that was something I could miss out on.” She stroked her hand down Yuca’s back, scratching lightly. 

There was no response to Bex’s comment. The answer was yes, but that wasn’t something they wanted to admit. It felt inherently wrong to enjoy her blood so much. “You don’t have to be sorry. I just don’t think…I don’t think I get to have that. Love and tenderness. I’m too scared of it anyway.” Legs ceased to bounce when Bex laid hers across theirs, and without thinking, their hand glided down to rest at her shin. Her warmth was soothing, grounding even. So much so, that their eyes shut for a moment to relish in the connection. They shot open, blinking several times and Metzli recovered instantly. 

“I’m not a big softie. I just prefer animals and art over people. They tend to be better than people. Much better. I mean, look at her.” Yuca continued to purr and kneaded at Bex’s stomach. She was happy and content. “She doesn’t have a single bad thought in there. Look at how much she loves you without even demanding anything in return, without needing to delve much deeper than the kindness of your touch.” 

Bex took Metzli’s silence as her answer. She didn’t know why her blood was so enticing to them, really, but more so she didn’t know why that made her feel special. Maybe because it was something that made her special. Maybe cause it was something that made her feel like she had something about her that people liked more than others. Maybe it was just cause it meant she had something. “If you keep saying that then yeah, it’s gonna be true,” she shrugged. “I keep telling you it’s not, though.” Her eyes fell to the hand on her leg. “Why are you afraid of it?” 

She rolled her eyes a little. “You kinda are,” she pointed out. “I never said being a softie meant for humans. You’re very soft, just for animals. And, well, I guess certain people.” Yuca nestled into her and she sighed. “I think she just likes that I’m warm, and is jealous you’re paying attention to me and not her.” She looked across at them. “I, um-- I’m glad you’re okay. Sorry I panicked.” 

“Maybe I want it to be true.” Metzli snapped a little, not harshly or with malice, but just because they were quick to answer. “It’s terrifying having things to lose. I’m scared enough at the thought of losing you, Macleod, or Milo. And to have something as huge as actual, romantic love? There’s so many variables, so much to lose.” Finally looking at Bex, they locked eyes with her and gave her a weak smile. “Maybe that’s part of the deal. What makes it so strong and worth fighting for. Actually, I know it is because of how I feel abo—” They stopped and looked for any distraction they could find, but there was none to be found. “I’m just not ready yet. Maybe after I get my soul. So I can finally feel within it, and feel for the ones I love.”

Metzli flipped the bird at Bex and held it there as they stuck their tongue out at her. “Fine. I can be a softie sometimes. But only when people deserve it. ‘Cause animals always do.” Yuca balled herself up and laid sleepily on Bex, making Metzli’s smile grow considerably. “Don’t be sorry. I would have panicked too. Thanks for checking on me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you actually liked me and cared about me.” None of that was new information, but they always did have to try and keep every moment they could, light.

Bex flinched back, ever so slightly, but it was there. She understood exactly what Metzli was saying. Those reasons were the very ones Bex had run back to her parents when her mother came threatening the only people she cared to lose. The only people she’d ever loved. It was terrifying, knowing they could be taken away. She’d felt more in control leaving on her own terms, even if, in the end, it had had the same effect. She’d lost the things she loved and it had torn her apart. She understood being afraid of that. She was still afraid that losing Mina would destroy her. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to live without her. She knew wouldn’t be able to live without her, and that made the distance she felt between them hurt even more. “Okay,” she said quietly, “I’ll stop pushing it.” Even as curiosity wracked her. Who, she wanted to ask, feel that way about who? 

She let out a short chuckle, reaching out and grabbing their finger when they flipped her off, tugging gently. “That’s rude, you know,” she stuck her tongue out at them back. “Who, me? Care? About you? Sounds fake.” She scooted forward a little and leaned her elbows against her knees, chin in her palms as she smiled up at them. “You’re a surprisingly likeable person, you know.” 

Grateful that she had moved past the subject without question, Metzli squeezed her shin gently and debated on what to say next. She had flinched, and while it would go unnoticed by many, it wouldn’t, couldn’t go unnoticed by Metzli. Not when they analyzed every feature of her so carefully. “Don’t feel bad, okay?” They scooted closer, “You’re curious. You always ask questions. It’s only natural you do it with any of your friends. Even now, you’ve got lots of questions you could be asking. I see them bouncing around in there.” She didn’t have to know now, or ever. It was good she didn’t. Not even the vampire knew what they felt, what love and its many levels were. For all they knew, it was just a deep and never-ending love based on the platonic level.

“Right…” Metzli teased, taking their middle finger and poking Bex’s nose. Yuca didn’t even budge from her spot as the two moved. “You’re the one who ran all the way here to make sure I wasn’t kidnapped.” A grin grew bigger and bigger, watching as Bex leaned forward and spoke. Her words made a sensation similar to a drop and they took to laughing gingerly. “It’s all this charm. People can’t help but like me, you know? Plus, I got this award-winning smile.” They leaned forward, meeting Bex’s eyeline and nudged her forehead with theirs playfully and gently. “You’re pretty likeable too, I guess.”

“I think some people would call that being nosy,” Bex pointed out. “I don’t mean to pry, but I just want to ask a lot of questions. Sometimes I go overboard, though. You can always just tell me when I do that, okay? Cause I don’t exactly know when to stop.” And it was true. She’d apparently offended quite a few people that way and made a few more want to stop talking to her. She couldn’t help it. She liked to know things, and that included things about people. She almost would’ve hated the way Metzli could read her if it wasn’t so endearing. Mina could usually tell what she was thinking, too, just by the look on her face. The two hadn’t done much talking lately, though and Bex had to turn to look away for a moment. 

Bex scrunched her nose. “Of course I came. That’s what people do when they care,” she stuck her tongue out again but froze, suddenly, when Metzli nudged her forehead with theirs. It was such a soft and affectionate gesture, and Bex couldn’t stop thinking about how they wanted someone to be soft with them, and it hurt, a little, she found, to know that no one was giving that to them. And it wasn’t fair, and they were so close, and she could give them soft, she could. She shouldn’t. She lifted a hand to their cheek and moved forward.

Time slowed down and it felt like the air around the two grew heavier. Anything that had happened not even seconds earlier was forgotten. Nothing else mattered but the feeling of Bex’s hand on their cheek, and the way her face moved directly into theirs. Metzli was still, unsure if it was actually happening. And then warm lips met theirs and they kissed back, moving a hand to cup her face in return. They kissed Bex. It was the sweetest kiss they’d ever received and they didn’t want to stop. For a few moments, they didn’t. But the weight of what they had done hit them like a truck, and they pulled away quickly. 

“Bex—I—” Metzli stood up in a panic and began to apologize profusely as they paced. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to—I did, but I was never going to—and then…fuck!” They looked towards the door and then back at Bex. The urge to leave grew and they strode over to make their exit. “I’ll leave. Don’t worry. I’ll leave.” Hand gripped and turn the handle, pulling it open with a force. 

The moment it happened, Bex knew it was a mistake, for so many reasons. It wasn’t fair to Mina, it wasn’t fair to Metzli, and she realized it too late. She was impulsive and emotional, but those were just excuses. Metzli jerked away and so did Bex and her face felt like it was on fire and she clasped a hand over her mouth and couldn’t look them in the eyes anymore. She barely even heard what they were saying, staring horror struck as Yuca leapt from her lap and raced towards the door. It was being flung open and for a moment Bex thought Metzli was demanding her to leave and that would make sense, wouldn’t it? She was just leading them on. That’s what it must look like. She loved Mina. She loved Mina. So why had she done that? 

But then Metzli’s words sunk in-- I’ll leave, I’ll leave-- and Bex was confused and she stumbled from the couch and over towards the door, reaching for them before withdrawing her hand and clasping her hands over her chest. “No, wait-- I-- this is my fault-- this is your apartment.” She recoiled. “I-I’ll go. I’m sorry, I didn’t-- I’m sorry.” She shoved past them quickly, unable to turn and look behind her as she went. Vibrating. 

What was she supposed to say to Mina?

[deathisanartmetzli]

Not All Heroes Wear Capes || Cassidy & Metzli

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @stolensiren​ @deathisanartmetzli​

SUMMARY: Cassidy saves Metzli and gets something unexpected.

CONTAINS: Domestic abuse mentions, Emotional Abuse mentions, Suicidal ideation

Metzli really didn’t feel like themselves. Killing Eloy should’ve made them feel anew, feel empowered, feel something other than this emptiness that consumed them. No one knew they had retrieved a soul because of Erin. A temporary one. They couldn’t see them. Not in this state. Depressed and unsure how to continue living while waiting for their beast to consume them. Whether it was the beast of guilt or the true evil within that Eloy molded, they weren’t sure. So, instead, they ventured out at night, looking for anyone willing to help them feel something other than fear, other than guilt from the last century of unforgivable crimes. A huntress gladly stepped in, making Metzli’s face contort and crack beneath her fists.

“Fuck you!” They spat, catching her next punch and throwing her back. She recovered quickly and retrieved a stake. Playing around wasn’t something she was into, not anymore. “Do it! That’s all I am, right? A fucking monster.” Blood dripped down their chin and forehead. It tasted awful, but they couldn’t really think about that. Eloy’s eyes flashed in their head, and all they could really see was how similar they truly were to him. The next flashes made them cry out, seeing every face they’d ever killed. He was gone, all of those people were gone, but the monster within was very much still there. They could make a family, they could do good things, try their best to be better, but what were they besides a monster?

It was probably too soon to be back out again. There were still stitches in her leg from the night she’d rescued Bex, still an ache to the wound that had dulled significantly but not yet disappeared, but Cass didn’t know what to do with herself if she wasn’t doing this. There were still people who needed saving, and Cass was still the best person to save them.

Especially, she figured, when the people in question were her friends.

She heard them before she saw them. Metzli’s voice, angry and loud and something else underneath, yelling in a way that told Cass there was something happening, something going on. There was no hesitation as she ran towards it, no second to stop and think. Metzli was maybe in trouble, and that was all Cass needed.

“Hey!” She yelled out as soon as she was close, catching sight of a woman gripping a stake. (That was how you killed vampires. This woman was going to kill Metzli. Cass felt a little sick.) “Get away from them!” In an echo of the first night they’d met, Cass launched herself forward — but this time, instead of attacking Metzli, she moved to attack the woman brandishing a stake in their direction. It was funny, the way things changed.

The huntress was so distracting that Metzli didn’t even register that Cassidy was nearby.. “Wh—get out of here, Cassidy!” They lurched forward, unsure how to go about this fight now. Getting Cassidy hurt was out of the question and they had to do something. Without thinking much more, they rushed their hand forward and grabbed the huntress’s hair and yanked it, hard. She yelped in pain, falling back while swinging the stake towards them. Skin tore across their chest, dead blood seeping out and staining their shirt. They didn’t even react. Standing still, they tried to keep her attention. “It’s me you want. Focus on me.”

Eyes were firm, but vacant. Practically ready to resign to an end. They could live their life, sure, but did they even have a right to? Their creator was one of the most evil people to exist. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that they too could end up like that? “Run, Cassidy. Now.” It was not a request. It was a clear cut demand. The huntress looked at them with pure hatred, ready to kill. Her grip on the stake tightened, and she crouched to prepare to lunge. Metzli remained where they were, unmoving and detached. “It’s okay.”

Metzli had seemed so resigned before that it was a surprise when they snapped into action the moment Cass came into the picture. She watched with wide eyes as they rushed forward, grabbing the woman’s hair and getting a slash with the stake for their trouble. They seemed intent on keeping the woman focused on them, and at first, Cass thought it was because they didn’t think she could handle herself. The idea offended her, made her scowl as she opened her mouth to argue.

And then Metzli turned to look at her, and the truth hit her like a goddamn freight train.

They weren’t fighting back because they were okay with this. They weren’t fighting back because, on some level, they might want this. Cass’s mouth dropped open for a moment as she processed it, and then she was moving forward again kicking the woman’s legs out from under her and turning to face Metzli with a glare. “No,” she said firmly. “No, it’s not okay. It’s not. You said you were going to be my friend. You don’t get to back out of that. I’m sorry, but I’m not letting you take a stupid stick to the heart here. You’re gonna have to hang out with me. You already committed.”

Their breath hitched in their throat, and they swallowed thickly. Cass had no intention of letting them go, and that short circuited their brain. Metzli tried to step forward, to lend a hand and put themselves back in the middle of it all, but Cass’s stance was strong and unwavering. Legs wouldn’t budge and they had to watch as the huntress battled within herself. She knew she was outnumbered, completely powerless now. Taking a step forward, she threw the stake out in front of her, sucked her teeth, and began to walk backwards. “We aren’t done. I’ll take care of you soon.” She muttered, and then turned to disappear into the darkness, the cover of trees.

With a sigh, Metzli let their body fall to the ground, succumbing to their exhaustion. They lay completely still, feeling the sting of the gash in their chest and the throbbing slew of half-healed injuries they sustained from their travels. Their body was worse for wear, and it definitely showed. “You didn’t have to save me. I was fine.” Eyes shut tightly, and hands soon followed, clenching into fists and shaking. “Don’t pretend to care.”

Cass was stubborn when she wanted to be. Different people had told her different things about this over the years, with some dubbing it a weakness and others claiming it a strength. She didn’t know which side of the divide it really fell onto, didn’t know how much it mattered when all was said and done, but right now? She was happy to be stubborn. Right now, being stubborn meant that Metzli was solid and tangible and not ash between her fingers, and that had to be enough.

The woman stood, left with a promise as Cass glared after her. She didn’t turn back to Metzli until she could no longer see the woman at all, her glare just as hard on them as it had been on the woman with the stake who’d almost taken their life. “Apparently, I really did. It’s not like you were making any moves to save yourself.” Her voice was half accusatory, half grieving, like she’d found herself at a crossroads between the two with no clue which direction to take. “I’m not pretending. You’re my friend. You said so. I care about you, and you —” She stopped, taking a shuddering breath. “You were going to let her kill you.” It wasn’t a question. “Why?”

Metzli didn’t move, didn’t open their eyes as Cassidy got onto them. They didn’t blame her. She had a point, and she had every right to be upset. Any normal person would have felt honored to be cared for, felt some sort of gratitude. But Metzli wasn’t a normal person, and they didn’t understand that the tightening in their chest was guilt. “Fuck off.” They sat up and looked Cassidy in the eyes, trying desperately to keep their composure. “A monster can’t have friends. I—monsters don’t—” The statement couldn’t be finished as it was interrupted by a choked sob. Pain, one that manifested and spread throughout their entire body, made them tremble. The tremor found itself in their voice, but they tried to continue to speak anyway.

“I’m—I—” Words were hard to articulate, but they had held in so much since their return that they just began to let them fall out in whatever order their brain wanted them to. “I killed him. He’s a monster. He turned me into a monster. Everything—he’s gone now. But—what—What if I turn out like him? Monsters get staked.” Metzli rambled blindly, showing clear signs of someone in a state of panic. Tears cascaded from their eyes and they tugged at their hair, trying to calm down.

Metzli was trying to push her away, and Cass knew what that looked like because she’d been doing it for years now, had it done to her over and over again in return. Slowly, Cass lowered herself to sit, close to Metzli but not quite touching, not quite invading their space entirely. “Monsters don’t offer,” she pointed out, because there was nothing monstrous about Metzli seeing through the way Cass had spoken of being alone and offering her some company, offering her a friend. They weren’t human, but they weren’t a monster, either. Even if they might claim otherwise.

Cass swallowed as they spoke, grief like a stake in her own heart, driving its way straight through her chest. She remembered how afraid Metzli had been when they had spoken of their sire on that first night, when Cass asked them why the vampire they’d staked had been trying to kill them. Whoever their sire had been, he was a nightmare. And they’d had to live through that nightmare again, had to suffer it. “He was a monster,” she confirmed quietly, “but that doesn’t make you one. You’re not a bad person for what somebody else did to you, for what they made you do. You don’t deserve to die for it.” She hesitated a moment, still hovering just outside Metzli’s metaphorical bubble. “Can I touch you? I want to give you a hug, if that’s okay.”

Body shot up, sitting up with a rigid demeanor filled with doubt and reluctance. “You want to hug me?” Metzli liked hugs, though they wouldn’t actually admit to that out loud. It felt weak to find comfort in such gentle touch, especially now. They felt like they needed to deny themselves of the intimacy and reassurance that came with a hug from a friend. Can she really be my friend? Metzli thought to themselves and shook their head to push away the rapid negative talk in their mind. Subconsciously, they scooted forward, getting closer to Cassidy. With a nod, they sighed, “Yeah, I think that’d be okay.”

The moonlight was bright, but the darkness still consumed most of their features. Had Cassidy actually been able to see Metzli fully, she may have been a little pushier about wanting to be there for them. “But uh, don���t feel like y-you have to.” It was nearly impossible to prevent their voice from trembling, but they supposed that was okay. How much worse and sadder could they look anyway? Not only were they so willing to be killed, they were already blatantly crying in front of her.

“Only if it’s okay,” Cass replied, trying to keep her voice gentle. They didn’t know each other as well as she might like. They’d had a few good conversations, bonded a little here and there, but Cass wouldn’t blame Metzli if they didn’t want her to touch them. Touch was a sacred thing, an important one. So Cass held back, hovered until Metzli said it was okay. Then, slowly and carefully, she moved forward and wrapped her arms around them, hug tight and secure.

Their voice was trembling, and Cass swore her heart broke just a little. “You should know by now that I don’t offer to do things I don’t want to do,” she murmured quietly. “I’m kind of pigheaded like that.” She smiled, though she knew the gesture was likely lost because of how they were positioned, knew that it was hard to look at someone and hug them at the same time.

Metzli was the first to pull away from the hug. It was hard to, given that it was indeed, a very good hug. Not only did it feel anchoring, it felt warm and genuine. They were silent and wary, unsure if they were allowed to be doing this. Besides that, Cassidy was still somewhat of a stranger. Their familiarity with one another was still fresh, which made Cassidy’s kindness so strange to them. “I should? We’ve only met one other time. There’s not a whole lot I should know for sure.”

Pulling their knees to their chest, they bit their lip and rocked back and forth a little. The panic was still deep in their chest, but it was better because of the hug. Being touch starved their whole life, it was easy to find comfort in it now that they’ve experienced the power behind it. Especially when it came from a wholehearted place. “Monsters do offer, by the way. They can. Sometimes they try to avoid what they are. Be something they’re not. But in the end, they’ll just wind up ruining everything. Like always. I don’t want to be a monster. I had no choice. It’s what I am, though.” Metzli paused and looked at Cassidy, “You’re a good person. Not entirely human, but you decided to be a hero. Kind of jealous, honestly. You’re selfless. And you can feel…empathy. You want to help people. All without someone telling you.” While they could feel empathy now, they didn’t know what to do with it. It overwhelmed them and made them cry, but they could finally connect with their loved ones, and that’s what mattered to them. Even if it hurt.

Metzli pulled away, and Cass watched them with a careful expression, worry still a rock in her stomach, weighing her down. “I don’t know,” she replied, “I think I was annoying enough that one time for you to know all kinds of things.” It was a joke, an attempt at cutting through some of the heaviness in the air, because Cass wasn’t good at this. She wasn’t good at serious moments, wasn’t good at comforting, at friendship. In all honesty, she often felt that she wasn’t good at being a person. It was ironic, in its own sort of way, that Metzli was a vampire and was probably better at feigning humanity than Cass. It might have been funny if it didn’t hurt.

They seemed a little more settled now, though not completely. That wasn’t a surprise, wasn’t unexpected. Cass knew that this kind of thing, the kind of thing that left you with someone holding a damn stake to your heart and telling them to finish the job, wasn’t something that left you easily. Maybe it wasn’t something that left you at all. “You’re not a monster, Metzli. You’re in pain, you’re hurting, but you’re not a monster. I’d know. I’ve seen plenty.” The worst monsters, in her (somewhat limited) experience, were most certainly people. As far as she knew, every foster parent she’d ever had had been human, and plenty of them were far worse than Metzli was, far more cruel.

“I’m not that great.” It was supposed to be a quip, but there was something heavy to it, something lurking. Cass was only a hero at night. During the day? She was just a thief trying desperately to survive. “But… I think you’re a good person, too. And you have to fight for it in a way I don’t. I think that says something, you know?”

I’ve seen plenty. White Crest had a way of drawing people together, people who had seen true monsters, both human and supernatural. Cassidy, like everyone, had a past. Metzli gathered that she probably knew of those monsters because she was surrounded by them. Quite possibly was even supposed to be protected by them. If that were the case, they shared a lot more in common than they previously thought. “I can be. I have been. You don’t know what I’ve done. The people I’ve killed. I can kill someone now, and you know what I’d feel? N-nothing.” Which was true. Even if they killed someone now and felt remorse over it for a little while, it would go away. It would wither into nothing along with their soul in the ether. “I could live my life easily after taking someone else’s.” In a few days.

This, of course, was due to the fact that Metzli didn’t have a real soul. At least now with Eloy gone, they could finally take the actual steps to retrieve it, make it permanent. Maybe they could finally stop being a monster. “What do you mean by that? That you’re not that great? You sound a lot like…me.”

“It doesn’t really matter what you’ve done,” Cass said with a shrug. “It matters what you do. And… you saved my life the night we met. You didn’t have to. No one was there to see it, no one would have known. You could have let that other vampire kill me. I mean, I did kind of tackle you, so I doubt some people would have even blamed you for it, but you saved me. You might have been a monster in the past, but that doesn’t mean you’re one now. That doesn’t mean you have to be one in the future.”

The question wasn’t unexpected, but it was heavy all the same. Cass lifted a shoulder and dropped it listlessly, a weaker reprise of her earlier shrug. “I…” She trailed off with a sigh, running a hand through her head. “I ran away from home when I was a teenager. Bounced around for a long time, changed my name. After a while, the money I had ran out, and there weren’t really a lot of options available, so…” She blew out a huff of air, shaking her head. “Technically, I’m kind of a con artist. Technically.”

Metzli’s shoulders fell as they listened to Cassidy. She was like them in a way. No home, no family, and no way to make ends meet. They knew more than anyone what it was like to stoop so low, to need to stoop so low. Before they had lost their soul, they had stooped that low and that remorse ate them up inside, ate them up now. And though they weren’t conning people out of food or money, they did con them out of their money and life. They felt everything while being able to relate so intimately. Even if they didn’t know how to show it, they could show her empathy. They knew what empathy looked like, what it should sound like. And this time, it would be backed by a soul. Temporary or not, it was backed by an actual soul. “Bad guy by day, good guy by night. I don’t really blame you. At least you’re somewhat redeeming yourself with these nightly endeavors.” Redemption. That word first came up with Nell, who seemed to think that’s what their soul retrieval journey really meant.

“Props for running away. Was it that bad?” Metzli began softly, not quite sure what the circumstances were. But if Cassidy felt like she needed to run from her own home, it was probably not a good one. “I guess you are a badass like you say. I was always too scared to. Didn’t really have a chance to anyway.” They paused, squeezing their knees closer to their chest. “My…my parents used to lock me in the basement.”

They hit the nail on the head, and Cass offered Metzli a small smile to tell them as much. “That pretty much covers it,” she confirmed. Pausing for a moment, she shrugged again. “I don’t… I mean, the people I go after are mostly rich rich. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk kind of rich.” They didn’t need the money. That was what she told herself, at least. But sometimes, she got home and found someone else’s wallet in her pocket with only a few dollars inside of it, and she didn’t even remember taking it. Sometimes, someone decent mentioned their bank account and she swore her vision shorted out and all she could think of was how to take it. She didn’t know how much redemption a person could seek for who they were.

Smiling humorlessly, Cass nodded. “I grew up in foster care,” she admitted quietly. “Some of the homes I stayed in were decent enough people who wanted to help. But most of them…” She’d seen more than her fair share of shit in the system, seen foster parents who were only after a monthly check and had foster siblings who wanted nothing more than to make sure she remembered where she fell on the food chain. (The answer was always definitively the bottom.) And Metzli, it seemed, had seen more than their fair share, too. Cass swallowed. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I didn’t… I mean, I never even knew mine. My real parents. They left me at a firehouse when I was a baby. I used to tell myself they were on some… quest or something. That they were off saving the world, and they were going to come find me when they were done, or that I was going to go save them and bring them home. But it wasn’t true. They just… didn’t want me.” And maybe that was the kinder option. Maybe it was better to know you were unwanted from the start than to find it out locked in a basement with no way out. “I don’t think I could have run away, either, if they’d stayed. I think… it’s a lot easier running away from the foster home of the month than it is running away from the only place you know.”

Both options were painful, to be abandoned and to be abused. Pain was relative, and no two were ever the same. Metzli found themselves feeling silent distress as Cassidy recounted her adversities. Anger boiled in their chest, knowing someone who they were beginning to care about was hurt so badly. They couldn’t do much but say, “That sucks,” with a trembled voice. They sucked their teeth and tightened their arms around their knees even further. So tightly that they could hear their bones creak. “I’m not good at this. I can’t do the comforting thing well. But all of that was fucked up, and you didn’t deserve it.” A grimace found itself on their face, knowing how badly they were doing in the comforting department.

“They missed out, though. I mean, you’re weird and kind of have an attitude, but you do good things. You…you save people. You have a heart. You…” Metzli struggled with their words. All they wanted to do was behave like someone with a soul, and they had one, they did, so why was it so hard? They could feel every bit of pain from Cassidy, but all they had was still just their brain. But they’d make it enough. They had to. Someone had saved them, and if anything, they owed Cassidy some sort of empathy for that. She deserved gratitude and honesty. “I want you. Here.” And they did. And not only for their own selfish reasons. Not only to fulfill their need to make their own family. But to give Cassidy what she deserved. “I’m making my own little family. I can always add another member.”

Cass offered Metzli a small smile, shaking her head. “You’re trying,” she replied, “which is a lot more than I could say for most people.” Most people tended to just… look the other way. Sad stories were always hard to face, hard to stomach. Lack of empathy wasn’t something limited to vampires. Metzli was just far more willing to admit it and apologize for it than most.

“You’re one to talk about weird,” Cass laughed, the sound genuine in a way that added some lightness to the heavy air between them. Metzli was doing a better job than they probably thought they were at comforting her… especially when they continued. Cass’s throat felt thick at the words, and she swallowed around the lump that had formed there. “I think… you might actually be the first person who’s ever said that to me.” And wasn’t that depressing? She’d made it twenty-two years without anyone ever wanting her, without anyone caring if she stuck around. “I, um… I’ve never actually had a family before. I can’t promise I’ll be good at it. But… I’d really like to try, anyway.”

The vampire joined in the laughter easily, latching onto any light they could in such a dark topic. “I just got mine and I’m over a hundred years old, Cassidy. I’m not very good at it at all, so you’re in good company.” Metzli gave a melancholy smile to their friend and patted her shoulder a little awkwardly. They really needed to work on their comfort, but they could definitely see they were getting better. Cassidy seemed to be in better spirits, and they couldn’t help but be proud of themselves. “Up until I met my friend Bex, I could’ve died and no one would have noticed. I made sure of that though. No connections meant that you had nothing to hold you back, you know? I lived with that philosophy for a very long time. I’m really glad I don’t anymore though.” Looking at Cassidy, they smiled softly and then averted their gaze.

“We can both be bad at it. Hell, most of the people in this little family I have don’t know shit about having one.” Metzli laughed and bit their lip as they thought about everyone. They felt so lucky, and maybe they didn’t quite understand how they managed to be found, but they weren’t going to question it too much. “They’re the only reason I fought so hard to come back. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been graced with my wonderful presence again. I just don’t know what I’m doing now though. With my master gone…no—not master. Sire. With him gone. I just feel lost for some reason. Broken. I should be happy. Connections are supposed to make you strong, and they usually have. But I just feel so weak right now.”

“Maybe we can help each other out. Teach each other a thing or two… or at least learn together.” Neither of them was good at this, but it was only because neither of them had experience. Cass had it on good authority that practice made perfect, after all. And… with the promise of someone who wouldn’t bail at the first given opportunity, she had a pretty good chance to practice. “Yeah,” she said quietly, “I get that. It means you don’t stand as much of a chance at getting hurt, either.” That had been why she clung to it for as long as she had. There was a phrase one of the kids she’d shared a bedroom with taught her once, with all the seriousness an eight year old could muster: Don’t tell them what you love. They’ll take it away. Cass had lost so many things she loved by then, that it seemed logical. It seemed safer to become a locked gate, a door without a key.

But god, it was a lonely way to live.

It was a relief to have a chance at something different, something better. Maybe she was opening herself up to trouble, but… Cass was lonesome enough to take the risk. She nodded as Metzli spoke, pushing her tongue against the tip of her canine, feeling the pressure there. “It’s new,” she offered. “There was something there, before. Your sire was there. And he wasn’t good, but he was still present. You still have to account for the empty space where he isn’t anymore, even if your life is going to be so much better with that space empty.”

Cassidy’s insight was profound and it struck a chord with Metzli. She was right. Though Eloy’s place in their life was a painful one, it was a place nonetheless. Cassidy was yet another person who understood what I meant to close yourself off from others. The safety that provided. And just like her new counterpart, she was so tired of being alone that the possibility of the joy of a family, something she’d always wanted, far outweighed the possibility of the pain of abandonment. Metzli had already taken that risk, and now they had the opportunity to watch Cassidy do as they did not even a few months prior.

Patting their knees, they struggled for a few moments, but got to their feet. “Do you need a drink?” Metzli asked, raising a brow at Cassidy. “We can go to my place and you can meet my baby vampire friend. Who happens to be in my little family along with Bex.” A small and friendly smirk tugged at their lips and they offered a hand to her. “Come on. Home is waiting.”

Cass blew out a huff of air, the sound almost a laugh, almost a sigh. She clicked her tongue, pretending to consider the question for a moment as if there was a world where tonight’s events didn’t make her need a drink, before nodding. “I absolutely need a drink,” she confirmed. Taking the hand offered to her, she smiled. “I’d love to meet more of your family. Let’s go.”

[deathisanartmetzli]

Sinking || Solo

TIMING: One week after drinks with Bex SUMMARY: Metzli does a lot of introspective thinking. Maybe too much thinking. WARNINGS: Child death (attempted), Eating disorder

It didn’t take long for Bex’s words to hit them. A tidal wave of memories, thoughts, and feelings long believed to be gone. Metzli was a stick of TNT lit from both ends, ready to reach the inevitable doom. How would it come, though? By their own hand or an entity not yet known? It wasn’t a fight they were willing to partake in for very long. If a simple human could undo them in this way, perhaps they weren’t a “true” vampire after all. Perhaps Master Eloy was right.

Even without a soul, there they were, brooding on their couch, staring into the never ending void. Staring and thinking on words said by a human. A human that brought them the first ounce of comfort they had truly felt in, in ever. They grumbled, they groaned. Thinking this much wasn’t something they did often. Usually everything was so black and white, but not this.

Loneliness held so much comfort before, why wasn’t it working now? Why was the quiet so violent now? They knew why, but uttering her name was a weakness. They weren’t weak. Or were they? “I’m just running myself in circles!” Metzli yelled to the ceiling, breaking the silence and rising from their couch. Sitting around sulking wasn’t going to do a goddamn thing. It was night, they should be out. They should be eating.

Metzli changed into clothes they didn’t care if they got dirty and headed out the door. It was time to be what loomed in the dark. To grab whatever human they wanted and do what came most naturally. Determination drove them so hard, so quickly that they didn’t even bother locking their door. They practically bolted out, trying to be a “true” vampire as quickly as possible.

From the apartment to the alleyway they were in now, it was all a blur. Metzli ran quickly there, too quickly and now they couldn’t move. Bex’s idea of “figuring it out together” ran through their head and it hurt. It hurt how much it bounced around. “No!” They exclaimed, startling a young child that seemed to be lost. Eyes and teeth shifted upon seeing their meal. He looked scared. Good.

“Come here, little one.” Metzli commanded, and he listened, walking deeper into the dark. A smile formed on their face, revealing their fangs to the child. And then it hit their head again. “It’s a choice,” Bex’s voice rang in their head. Why did it matter what she said? Admitting it to themselves was the first step. The first step of many that would be their own undoing.

Her words mattered because she was the good side of the coin they both shared. And if she could be that, Metzli thought maybe they could too. And maybe, just maybe a part of them didn’t want to do it. Didn’t want to be Eloy’s ideal vampire. After all, even logically they knew they were forced to give up their soul. They were forced to become a vampire. So logically, did they even want this? They felt nothing doing these things, but they wouldn’t be doing them if it weren’t for…Eloy.

Metzli squeezed their eyes shut, deciding on a choice. They had no means to gather blood besides through hunting. Animals were there but even that could be cruel, right? “Go!” They commanded the child. “Find your adult! Go!” With a start, the boy ran in the opposite direction and Metzli watched. Fists clenched tightly and they turned to walk home.

They wouldn’t be Eloy. Hell, they wouldn’t be their parents. No one who had raised them so far had been anything they even loved, so why would they cater to them now, in the present? They wouldn’t. Not anymore.

It would be a day, and then it would be a week. Metzli would not feed, they would choose to not hurt anything. If they went too long, it would kill them, and getting even a small blood bag would take a while, but it would be the right thing to do. Right? They could wait the time it took to get the blood bag. It was the right thing to do. It had to be.

[stones-x-bones]

Harm-nival (Part 1) || Bex and Murphy

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @riseofmurphy and @inbextween SUMMARY: Bex decides to visit the Hall of Mirrors before the carnival leaves town, and Murphy sees an opportunity. CONTENT: Domestic abuse mentions, Assault

Bex had heard some of her fellow classmates on campus murmuring about the Hall of Mirrors at the carnival. After what had happened to Mina there, Bex was wary of going anywhere near it, but she couldn’t help her curiosity piquing when she overheard someone mention something about seeing one’s future in the mirrors. One person mentioning it wouldn’t have been anything exceptional, passed off as just a hallucination or even a specific magical event for them-- but then others chimed in about it, and eventually, almost the entire classroom was talking about it. Mirrors that showed your past and your future. If it was true, then it was certainly something worth checking out.

Which was how Bex found herself at the carnival, having followed a trail of oddly placed leaves. The ever louder music felt almost like a lullaby, luring her in, calming her as she walked through the front gates and glanced around. In daylight, nothing looked too odd or out of place. She’d made sure to go in the middle of the day, so there was no chance of her staying too late and getting caught out at dusk. Her arms still hurt from her encounter with Eloy, and she pulled the scarf tighter around her neck, hiding the bite marks there. 

She moved her way through the rather small crowd-- it was a week day, after all, in mid-afternoon. Most people were at work or in school-- and towards the back of the park, where the Hall of Mirrors had been set up. It didn’t look like anything special, and Bex couldn’t sense anything innately magic about it. There was no prickle in the air, no strange feeling in her gut. And so she paid the small fee to go inside and waited for the people in front of her to get a good way through before she went in herself and blinked against the faded lightning as her eyes adjusted to the dark. She hadn’t known she was being followed. 

Her fingers trailed along the glass surfaces as she made her way through the funny reflections section. Short and stubby, tall and thin. Some at weird angles, making her reflection look like some sort of creature or alien. She turned down another section and found herself in the maze of mirrors. Her head already hurt, but she pushed forward, only stopping when she felt a shiver up her spine, turning to find her reflection-- except she was a child. Dressed in one of her favorite pink, floral dresses. Covered in bruises. Bex felt her heart squeezing as she sank to her knees, tracing her fingers over the mirror, circling the bruises on the small child. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, “I’m sorry I didn’t get you out sooner.” And maybe that was her biggest regret-- not realizing sooner that the life she thought she’d been stuck in was a lie. It all seemed so pointless now, so useless. Her suffering was for nothing. Her hands curled into fists in her lap and she felt tears pressing at the backs of her eyes--

But she heard a noise and her head snapped up. She squinted through the dark hallway to the figure at the end of it. “Hello?” She pushed herself back up to a stand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you up. You can go around me.” 

The autumn air clung like a second skin to Murphy as her footsteps followed the patterned swirl of leaves. Each piece of foliage crunched satisfyingly under the heel of her boot with every step, and as the carnival music began to envelop her senses she began to hum along. It was a discordant melody that caressed her, was almost sinister in its quality, yet just mystical enough to keep those along the path moving forwards. As the music began to grow in pitch her nose picked up on the scents of the carnival. Supernatural and human alike mixed within the air creating an aroma that to a younger wolf might have been overwhelming. It was always an unusual sensation when a wolf was unable to pick out any one distinct scent. To Murphy they were all recognizable if she focused; mara, fae, vampire, and her least favorite scent of all, human. It was that scent above all that carried across to her, and she was unable to help the way that her nose wrinkled. This was not her first time here, and she was sure it would not be her last before the season ended. 

For this trip, Murphy found herself focusing on the hall of mirrors. The men she worked with in the fire-station had been telling ghost stories about the seemingly simple reflective objects. There were the standard gag mirrors, but more than one had sworn that they had seen something not quite right. A distant childhood memory. Their wedding day. Small, inconsequential things in truth, yet when each experience was added together it made one wonder. And so she herself had decided to come searching. Once she had stepped into the attraction the low hung afternoon sunlight disappeared entirely, replaced by the artificial fluorescence that hung from the ceiling and reflected back blandly within the mirrors. For a bit she simply wandered, paying little attention to where she went. A left here, a right there, the mirrors merely distorting her the billowy shape of her fall dress. The deeper she went her ears began to pick up on pinpricks of sound, crying.. No, screaming. It caused the hairs atop her arms to rise in apprehension, but before she had time to fully realize the fear, something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. A face so familiar it made her knees buckle. 

In the corner of one of the mirrors her mate stood staring back at her, hand seemingly intwined with her reflection. It looked as if not a day had passed from when they first met. With tentative movements she began to move forward and watched as the life that they had together flashed before her eyes like on a movie reel. One hand reached out to brush its fingertips against the cold, cruel surface of the mirror, his name falling from her lips, “Sasha..” Green hues began to wander, but the expression was quickly replaced with one of loathing as she took in the girl in her way. She too wore an expression of unhappiness, but that did matter at the moment. All that mattered was that running into her had ruined the ilusion. Sasha’s face was no longer visible. An unstable growl vibrated from within her chest at the fact that once more a human had taken her mate from her. “Sorry just doesn’t quite cut it, I’m afraid.”

The angry voice startled Bex, and she blinked, stumbling back a little. In the mirror, a reflection of her younger self followed her. Dragged by angry hands and sharp glares. Do this, be better, listen more. She rubbed her eyes, looking away, and towards the figure advancing on her. Even through the darkness, she could tell the other person was imposing. The way she held herself, the glare in her eyes, the grit of her teeth, jaw clenched. She must’ve seen something upsetting in the mirrors as well. “I-- I don’t want to fight with you,” she said, putting her hands up. Magic prickled at her fingers, in her palms, and she tried her best to hold it back, feeling the strain. “What you saw-- i-in the mirror. It’s just magic. They show you things. Like your past, your future--” She took another step back, away from a reflection where she was being held by Morgan and Mina and Nell was behind her and she was happy. 

“It’s just memories,” she tried to tell them. Next to her, in the final mirror, there was nothing. Just a void. Bex barely noticed, eyes on the approaching figure. Why did she seem familiar? She grabbed at her bag and pushed her back against one of the mirrors. This was a dead end. Great. “I-- I can just leave. If you would just-- I can--” she gestured behind the girl, hoping she’d let her just go. “Please?”

“I know what they are.” Murphy’s jaw snapped audibly shut with the force of her words. There was grit to them, as if a barely contained growl rested beneath the surface. Self-deprecating anger lurked below the surface. For really it was her fault that what she saw were mere memories and not a reflection of the present. She hadn’t been strong enough. But none of that mattered. All she cared about was that this girl, this human girl, had taken Sasha from her again. No more words were spoken as she stalked towards her prey, eyes narrowed and hand curled into a fist. Just as she was about to make contact, a familiar scent filtered through her haze. She knew that smell, knew it well. The sweet stench of decay. It was an aroma she herself often wore. Metzli. Murphy halted, booted feet stopped in their tracks. Narrowed eyes studied the girl before her, and as she inhaled more deeply a faint sense of another recognition stole over her. This was a smell she had often smelled on them when the two of them were together. That must mean.., “Well you’re clearly not a zombie. Though I smell faint fae, it is nowhere near strong enough for it to be yours. Which makes you.. Bex?” There was a self-satisfied glint in her eye as the girl’s name twisted unkindly in her mouth and a sneer scrunched her brow. “No wonder you’re filling them with weakness, doubt. Just look at you.”

Bex stayed pressed against the mirror, readying herself as the girl approached. There was something inhumanely ferocious about her, about the way she stalked down the hallway towards Bex, as if Bex were her prey and she was the predator. Bex had seen that look before, in the eyes of a friend. In Kyle’s eyes, as he’d shifted in front of her and turned his glaring red stare on her and lunged. Bex closed her eyes against the long, dark hallway, filled with mirrors. Of her reflection, of the other girl’s reflection. Of pasts and futures and emptiness. Her heart began beating wildly in her chest again. Too hard, too fast. She scrambled for the bottle in her bag, for the pills that she brought with her everywhere now. Just in case, just in case. But she stopped, mid movement, when her name came drifting out of the girl’s mouth and Bex looked up, confused. Them? Weakness? Doubt? It snapped together in Bex’s head a little too quickly and the sudden change in her body language surprised even her, as eyes narrowed and she dropped her hands to her sides, glaring back now. “Murphy,” she muttered. “So you’re the one leaving those marks all over their body. Like you need to claim them. Well, they’re not yours and they’re not property,” she snarled back. In the mirror behind her, only Murphy had a reflection, despite Bex’s back still pressed firmly against it. Instead, images of the lacerations and bite marks on Metzli flashed in her mind as she looked at this girl, and only an anger filled her. 

The scent of fear that radiated from the human sung within her nostrils, yet just as quickly as it had come it recedeed. Murphy found that her lip ticked up of its own volition as the other spoke. It was a look of near increduility, but then, had she really expected anything less from someone so out of touch with the supernatural? Her head shook to clear the thoughts. “I’d like to remind you that those marks were consensual, and they give just as well as they take.” There was a dangerous edge to her voice now. “And they are mine. They’re pack.” She had stopped short of hurting the girl for her friends sake, but there was only so far she could be pushed in such a heightened state before other instincts and desires took over. And she wanted them to. “Who do you think they came to for comfort as you played with their emotions?” She cocked her head to the side in feigned confusion. “You fuck with their head. They have a job to do, and you’re making them weak. All of the confusion you cause, the self doubt. It’s going to get them killed?” That one thought alone was enough to cause the words to come out in a dangerous roar, lips pulled back from her teeth in a vicious snarl. This girl could take them away from her with her stupidity, and she would not have it. “You’re human.” THe insult was clear in her tone. “So I don’t expect you to understand. But if they cannot fight they will die. It is not a choice to be made or something to avoid. You fight or you die. So maybe that’s it,” a finger was pressed to her lips in pretend thought, “Maybe you want them to die? It would be easier for you… less complicated.” Murphy advanced and took what little remained of the other’s personal space. “You ought not to meddle in things you don’t understand, girl.”

Bexley was not a fighter. She couldn’t fight back against Frank, even when he’d tried to steal her away, or when he’d attacked Mina, or when he’d almost killed her. She could not fight against Roy, who dealt in the same magics as her, but far deeper, far more fearsome. She could not fight her parents, who had had a hold on her her entire life, like puppeteers controlling her every move. She could not fight back against vampires who could compel and turn to mist and break her wrist in one swift motion. Who could’ve sucked her dry if she wanted. Bex could not fight back against werewolves, with all their strength, and their quickness and claws and teeth. But Bex could fight for her friends, for the people she cared about. She could fight with her words and her kindness and her compassion because that was all she felt she had. “Getting away from Eloy isn’t a job. It’s not their duty. It’s something they want to do, and they get to do it on their terms and how they want, no matter what anyone else says. You-- you think kindness is a weakness, but you’re wrong. Why do you think they even want to do this in the first place? I’m the one who convinced them. They love me,” she snarled, and she was saying words that would intentionally rile the wolf, she knew that, but she couldn’t help it. She’d always played with fire. “Consensual or not, how could you ever understand how they feel? I understand how they feel. I know them better than you ever could. You use violence as a weapon, as if it makes you better, as if it protects you from everything, but you’re just as cruel as the people who hurt Metzli if you think that’s true.” 

A fist smashed into a mirror and sent fragments of shrapnel into the air upon impact. “It’s the only way for them to live!” This girl, this human, could not possibly understand. She would never understand what it felt like for a wolf to lose a pack. A mate. A pup that had been growing unknown in a womb. There was not a day that went by that she did not feel that particular loss. It curdled and made her insides raw, yet still she persevered. It was all she knew. The fight was all that would make things right again. And so she would fight. Fight for herself and those she chose to let in even if that meant the cost was her own life. “You’ve convinced them to stand up yet argue against the blood it takes to do so. There is no way to fight a creature so strong, so practiced in their ways without making sure that your strength matches their’s. It is the only way. And you might not like it, or think it’s right, but it is a fact. One that they realize. Yet you insist on lording it over them as if it makes them less than.” A swell of emotions stronger than just anger caused her body to begin to vibrate. Murphy was on the edge of losing control and she held no desire to take it back. There was no denying her innate displeasure as the word love rolled over her. “Because I’m like them! We both know what it’s like to have the beast inside. To know that to sate it, to give in, is the way to survive. To happiness.” She shook her head. “It is blasphemy to deny a being its true nature. Take humans. You all were made to be soft, trusting, compassionate. All the things that make a target easy prey. But being other than human does not mean you lose the ability to love those you care for. It just means you protect them more viciously.” This time a true, wolf-like snarl tore through her chest. Bex did not know that to have been more violent would have better protected her pack. Could not understand that the violence was a way to defend, to care. It was not used only to protect her, but those under her care. And Metzli was now part of a pack that she was as keen to protect as her pack with Alcher. Without any warning a hand wrapped around the girl's throat, her feet were lifted off the floor. It was so easy. “Never compare me to those who have hurt them in the past. I will kill every last man, woman, and child in this town if they so much as choose to lay a finger on them. And I will do it without remorse.” 

“I don’t know where you’re getting your information from, but none of that is true,” Bex argued back, angry. This girl didn’t understand anything. How could she? How could she possibly know what Bex and Metzli had gone through? Their connection was deeper than just knowing violence. It was surviving it. It was owning it. “I never said they shouldn’t go after him or they shouldn’t kill him. He deserves to die and I know that. All I told them was that they’re allowed to slow down and feel what they feel and not just steamroll through this like it’s some sort of timed game! They’re scared and suffering and afraid and you can’t just ignore that or make it go away by killing! That’s not how it works!” The glass shattered and Bex flinched, lifting her arms to protect her face, shards of glass sticking to her sweater. She tried to shuffle away but found herself pressed in a corner, between two mirrors. There was something building in the air, a magic that wasn’t her own, but, instead, drawing it out. Lilac tendrils wafted around Bex’s hands. But before she could answer more, say anything more, a hand was on her throat and her feet left the ground and Bex clawed at the arm pressing her against the mirror, legs kicking out as she fought for air. Her already struggling lungs gasping with breath, the world going blotchy. “Y-y-you’re wr-wrong,” she managed to stutter out, still defiant even as she felt all the air leaving her lungs. 

The mirror behind her shimmered, and the surface melted from a solid pane of glass to liquid. Like mercury, solid but liquid, it began to envelope Bex. And sooner, she was tumbling back into the mirrored darkness. She latched onto the arm that was at her throat and tugged, pulling the wolf with her, too. And they tumbled into a darkness, landing on hard on a ground that didn’t exist. Bex’s vision went blank for a moment and she stayed still on the ground, waiting for it to return. Waiting to see what the other girl would do.

TBC

[deathisanartmetzli]

Cabin in the Woods || Eilidh & Metzli

TIMING: Current, at night

PARTIES: @BRAINDEACL​ @DEATHISANARTMETZLI​

SUMMARY: Metzli goes on the hunt for some vampires, and Macleod joins in on the fun.

CONTAINS: Domestic abuse, Emotional Abuse, Gore

Despite Metzli’s best efforts to quash any sense of anxiety that built up like a mountain on their chest, the pressure only seemed to build. After the pleasurable moments of distraction, laying in the dirt, surrounded by nature, they wished they could go back to that. Laying there with Eilidh was easy, it felt like it was a grace to not linger like a tragedy in slow motion, or a heartbreak set on pause. They walked next to Eilidh, tracking the scent of the vampires. It started so faint, and within an hour, it had thickened and spread around.

Eloy would inevitably find Metzli, even if they took out the vampires they were attempting to find. They were just prolonging the ending they already played in their head on repeat. Like a video cassette they kept rewinding of a movie that had not even been made yet. But they persisted, and used the martial arts approach to protecting their world. Fear and anger were their self defense as they disregarded the cost of going against their once master. No running, just going forward to protect. Because nothing was more precious. It was priceless. It was their home.

“The scent is overwhelming all around. They must scavenge and frequent this whole area. How do you feel about splitting up? The scent is pretty evenly coated and has been for the last few hundred paces.” Metzli explained and looked towards Eilidh, who was only a foot away. “What do you think?”

The trees watched them transgress in their territory. Gaze always, usually, a comfort for as long as Eilidh could remember. And they had felt as such, only moments prior. In those pleasant pauses. But now their presence felt scrutinizing. Tainted by the tense energy in air, radiating off Metzli. Bouncing off that bark, ricocheting down on Eilidh. She watched them with a hidden caution. Their high nerves concealed with a stoned expression. But every box got its leaks. She saw those tremors in hands, those strained breaths in chest. Soldier set to war. Without a choice but to move forward into certain peril. Eilidh had that choice, but she matched those dreaded steps. Hers tensed with anger and a hunger to rip and shred. Send those sources of anxiety to floor in tattered bits—reduced to confetti. And to sprinkles down her throat.

Eilidh saw those nose twitches. At first light but sent to frenzy as unseen predators grew closer. Her own stayed still—unaware of any approaching danger. Her mouth twitched instead, turned to grin. “Like I said. You go right. I go left.” Eyes went to that chosen destination. Only darkness met them, but mind filled in the blanks. Placed those hidden enemies in sights. Sent her hand a twitch in anticipation. Her chest rumbling in hunger. Her attentions went back to Metzli for a moment. Enough to spare a parting kiss. And to press her hand on their chest. To that concealed gift—necklace with a black pendant. A bit off her thigh providing color. Used as both beacon and reminder. That she’ll always be close, even now, when she turned and raced off into the woods. Before the darkness took her, she shouted behind. “Don’t let ‘em kill you! I’ll be pissed!”

It felt strange to receive a tender kiss from someone who used so much force, so much passion. Eilidh had given them a gift, one they were told to keep on in case of any danger. James, the ghost bound to her, who seemed antsy when they presented red eyes and fangs, he would be their walkie talkie of sorts. A piece of her attached to them so he could aid them in their search. “No promises!” Metzli responded just as loudly, and with as much light energy as they could muster. Eilidh faded into the trees, and they watched for a few moments before they turned around and continued down their chosen path. Blood and death overflowed from every tree, meaning that the clan members had been around long enough to hunt several times. That didn’t sit right with them in the slightest.

“So how long have you been, uh, dead? I think I’m going on 110 years or so. Kinda lost track.” Metzli asked awkwardly, not knowing how to talk to someone who they didn’t know and seemed to get nervous at any signs of their vampirism.

James watched Eilidh disappear. Despite the lack of visual, he knew where she journeyed. Not a feeling or a thought. But something even deeper. Like he was a passenger in her mind. His attentions shifted and felt that knowing grow quiet but not disappear. Eyes went to one more tangible, to the one called Metzli. He knew nothing but stories. But the way Eilidh described them, the way her eyes lit up. It was in the way when she found others with that ‘touch of the wild’ as she so called it. And it made him on edge. While he lacked any sort of flesh and blood the vampire could attack, he tensed. For his body remembered, despite his true one having rotted to nothing long ago. And he tried to bury this concern, like that old body. But Metzli would not let the thought of death escape him. There was a following silence as he gawked at them. “Um. That’s not really a conversational topic I start with…” His arms crossed against his chest, as if that incorporeal barrier could do anything.

Face grew dark and tense as leaves and twigs crunched, marking every step they took. There was no avoiding it, but it made them flinch every time. Giving away their position would prove fatal, but the area was chosen for that reason. Keen hearing was not only their ally, but their enemy too. Metzli trudged on for about twenty minutes, following tracks and carcasses that grew in number. Meaning, they were getting closer. Their phone vibrated with notifications, and they removed it from their pocket to see a few messages. Feet continued to move while they were distracted by the screen and James’ incoming answer. “Sorry. I’m not good at conversation starters. I figured it was fine, you know? Death, and me being a vampire. I mean, vampires are vicious, but you like Milo and he attacked our friend Bex the other day. But like she’s fine and—” They gave an update until their peripherals caught sight of an anomaly. A cabin. “Que suerte...”

James wanted to leave. Not that Eilidh was particularly better in regard to source of his anxieties. But she was a monster he knew well—knew how to talk to. And had grown to care for, despite his better judgement. And he had grown to care for Milo as well with a hope he could escape that nature. Young and new with the thought of humanity still fresh on his mind. But the news broke that illusion. Not immediately, only a crack at first. Denial trying to keep the wall up. Mind went blank. Then it was all too much. “What… what? No. He- No he didn’t.” He stammered, something of a laugh on his lips though he felt no amusement. Mouth couldn’t form words just as mind couldn’t form thoughts. Sailboat lost to a raging sea. Trying to steer clear, but he was close to drowning. Before he could be swept under, before that wall could break—he vanished.

Eyes were transfixed by the cabin, by the sheer amount of death permeating from within. Even with blurred sight from distraction, they could see James on the other side of their peripherals, he was saying something but they couldn’t make out what. There had to be at least six vampires within the residence, and that took precedence over his sudden disappearance. While their fingers hovered over the screen of their phone, something knocked them down. Someone.

Phone flew several feet away, but that wasn’t important now. A whistle of alarm reverberated against the trees, and Metzli pulled out a stake from their side and plunged it into the vampire, killing him and cutting the whistle short. It was too late though, and they could hear a door break open. Gaze locked onto four vampires sprinting from the cabin straight for them. Matching their vigor, Metzli booked it towards one and plunged the stake into her chest. Another one down. Only five more to go. The three that were left leapt for them, trying to overwhelm them. It worked, but by some miracle, the stake plunged into yet another chest, leaving only two to land punch after punch on them.

Two more vampires stepped out from the cabin, and Metzli was forced to watch as a familiar face got dangerously close to theirs. Fighting back was futile while their head was being held up by their hair and their arms were locked behind them. “Hola Metzli. Hace mucho tiempo.” Tremors overtook their body as they stared right into the vampire’s eyes. The vampire who was their partner when it came to protecting Eloy. “Chinga tu pinche madre, Anselmo.” They spat through gritted teeth, right before a bone crunching punch to the face.

Blip! Blink of an eye, James was back. Face still contorted as mind could not see past that unresolved conversation. That wall gaining new cracks—close to shattering. “Was that just a, um, weird joke or something because I didn’t think it was funny and I’d really like it if you- Oh!” More eyes than expected were watching him. He stared with just his two. Then vanished again.

Another punch landed onto their face, and Anselmo laughed. “Did you really think you could run away? Did you really think Master Eloy would let you go?” Metzli locked eyes with the vampire and spat at him. Black blood spattered over his face and rage filled his eyes. “Fuck you, and fuck Eloy!” Metzli retaliated, lunging forward and breaking the grasp that held their hair. Forehead met nose and Anselmo screamed in agitation. Using the moment of distraction, they grabbed the stake from the ground and took out yet another vampire. Three left to go. But just as the point rushed around to make impact with the other, Anselmo’s hand wrapped around Metzli’s, giving him the chance to throw them on the ground.

Their face hurt, and the pain spread throughout their body as he pinned them down and attacked their throat. Red eyes locked only momentarily right before teeth sank in, threatening to dig deeper. Deeper and deeper, Anselmo attempted to sever the attachment their head held onto their body. Metzli was going to break their promise. The fear of that grew as their strength depleted, unable to make their arms do anything. They had taken too much damage, they needed blood.

The scent of death was potent. But there was one who did not match. A flat note in the choir. And growing louder. Closer. Threatening to ruin the whole show. But the show only faltered for a moment, something of a reprieve found in their brief consideration. Barely a murmur was uttered—something deeper transpired between the vampires. An understanding was found in that veiled conference, quick and efficient to not distract from the main course. Not a moment wasted, Anselmo simply waved a vampire off before following that motion down into a strike upon Metzli. The chosen protector, or chosen sacrifice depending on the point-of-view, followed that clashing note. Foxhound on the fox. But this fox knew how to bite back. And when he found the source of distraction, woman with the chattering teeth, he came to understand just how hard.

Eilidh threw the stake in her hand. It whistled through the air, ending in a meaty thud. Coming to a quick stop inside the vampire’s chest. He had only a second to stare at her in confusion before crumpling. Dead. Stride merely slowing, Eilidh fished out the stake from his remains. Then regained her former speed, as inhuman as the glint in her eyes. Feet beat fast but light on the ground. If she was devoid of that telling scent she may have been able to ambush. But they would be waiting for her, she was sure of it. She had known even before the encounter in the woods. But time and experience had revealed tricks against that pesky disadvantage.

As that foreign scent became church bells, all those bloodthirsty eyes turned to meet it. Something humanoid, something familiar, was the expectation. A known enemy they had all replayed in their minds killing with a familiarity. What stood at the treeline had the shape of a human. Kind of. If the outline had been filled with static. The touch of mundanity made where it differed all the more jarring. All parties stood still. Until a single “¡¿Que demonios es eso?!” broke them out that trance. One vampire ran to meet the thing in the woods. But his pace was weighed with hesitation: could this thing even be killed? Eilidh rumbled with a metallic shriek—undecided form convulsing in beat. And when her arm struck out to stake this one’s chest, it looked more tree than limb. He fell as fast as the one in the woods. Returned to the Earth.

Anselmo laughed as weak arms could not grip, could not gather enough leverage to shove him off. Photos were taken unbeknownst to them, and sent off. Evidence of their struggle. Metzli grew worried that they wouldn’t be able to manage. People have hope because they cannot see death standing behind them. But not Metzli. Their eyes had been ingrained on death’s visage, losing all hope in the process. Never fearing death because it was the one thing they could count on. But White Crest had given them everything they needed to want to look away from those hollow eyes. And as reality settled in, darkness consumed their sight. A muffled and distant voice growled. Eilidh’s scent filled their nose. Metzli began to imagine what hope would feel like. And wish that they had never looked death in the eyes. That way, they could be blissfully unaware. So they didn’t have to feel, for the very first time, the fear of dying.

The punching and biting ceased as Anselmo and two other vampires Metzli didn’t notice before, looked towards Eilidh. What they believed to be Eilidh. A sharp pain caused them to groan, and even through hazy vision, they could see two knives inside of their torso. Anselmo rose off of them and leered at the crazed undead creature before him. His body was rigid, unsure what to make of the foul thing before him. This was the break Metzli needed. Looking down at the knives, they attempted to raise their arms, which were feeling like they weighed tons. And then, one of the knives came into focus. It was their old knife. The one Eloy made for them. The one they used to fight with.

Anger surfaced onto Metzli’s face and a newfound resolve formed in their chest. Fighting against the hunger and pain, they removed the knives jutting out of them, and rose to their stumbling feet, tackling Anselmo to the ground. Fangs and knife pierced skin. A foul taste filled their mouth, but they didn’t care. All that mattered were the screams of pain and the knife that plunged into Anselmo over and over again until he knocked them back, looming over them to once again gain the upper hand.

Another quickly took her opponent's place, but this vampire was faster than that amalgamated arm. Ensnaring Eilidh in her grip. Hands grappled hands, grappled bodies. Her stake tumbled to the grass in the fervorous skirmish. A third noticed the vulnerability, and made quick to exploit. Rushing into the fray, two against one. But it was actually two against two. The second was enveloped in a strange feeling. A foreign pressure. A lingering cold. Enough to preoccupy for mere seconds, but each counted in a fight. Eilidh shifted her weight, brought that first opponent—still trapped in each other’s holds—closer to chattering teeth. And they did as nature intended. Bit and tear. Severing any connection her nose had to her face. It too tumbling into the grass. Overwhelmed with pain, enough constitution was lost to let Eilidh get closer. And those bloodied teeth found her neck. And bit equally as hard. With mouth at work, Eilidh’s hand was free to slip up skirt. Gripping tight a silver dagger. Blade met the vampire’s neck on opposite side, until her incisors and metal joined in the middle.

With a twitch, Eilidh severed the last remaining tendons connecting neck to torso. The head rolled off with ease, joining its nose on the ground. James’ trick had gone stale and the third vampire was ready to try his chances. Eyes free from the glaze of distraction, completely locked on her. But her own was placed elsewhere, far away. To the confrontation between Metzli and that stranger. She didn’t like how Metzli looked. She didn’t like how this man looked at them. Not one fucking bit. A snarl burned in her throat, but it sounded like chainsaws to any near. The vampire closest tried to be a substitute for her broiling anger. He pounced at her, but she simply shoved him into the dirt. Hardly a thought to make sure he wasn’t following when she rushed to the distant altercation. Before the stranger was able to fully turn, confront that approaching death, she leapt onto his exposed back. Arms looping around his shoulders—stifling any movement. He bucked and shrieked like a wild stallion, but she had encountered worse. Those arms only grew tighter. Teeth tried to find that neck, but it jerked out of hold. Accidentally meeting an ear instead. Incisors latched on anyway, ripping off the flesh and cartilage. The shrieking grew louder. Her own primal sounds filled that air, in lieu of words. Mind having no room to translate. But there was still an intention in each grunt. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.

Wide eyes stared as Anselmo could no longer move. Eilidh’s firm and powerful grasp held him in place and he wailed in agony as a piece of him was torn away. “M-Macleod...I—” Metzli shook uncontrollably. Understanding washed over their face, but they couldn’t move, couldn’t force their body to lunge forward with the knife in their hand. A slippery grip tightened around it, beckoning them to do it. To kill their partner of thirty years. The very partner who had sworn to protect their abuser with them. No more. Those days were over and a new one was on the horizon. Finding the motivation, they rose to their feet, only swaying slightly.

“Todo lo que nos enseño Eloy fue malo. Y ahora, voy cambiar a todo.” The knife plunged into the center of Anselmo’s chest and he gasped with the widest eyes. His eyes met with Metzli’s for a split moment before he crumbled into nothing. As pieces of him fell, so too did Metzli. A hand reached out for Eilidh, but contact was never made. Their body gave way to the crushing pain, forcing them to the ground. Neck revealed the damage, the death they almost met. Black liquid stained their skin.

In spite of the overwhelming agony, a weight was lifted, and a piece of them felt free. “Thanks Mac—” Their hand reached out but fell to the ground as spots of black coated everything in sight. “Need blood.” Metzli’s voice was hoarse, throat dry from the urgent need of sustenance. Their body went rigid, as still as a statue while their body began to render itself into a comatose state of preservation.

They crumbled into her arms, and Eilidh instinctively covered that battered body with her own. Eyes surveying the suspicious quiet. She knew there were others. The one she had shoved no longer lay in the dirt. But he seemed to lay no where, absent entirely. Somewhere. Anywhere. Who knew how many were like that, in an unknown somewhere. Waiting to come back. Or waiting for her to find them. Have them join the others in that growing pile of ash. She lacked any innate warning signals—relying on average ears and eyes. And they both revealed nothing, except a peace she did not trust. And this unknowing would be fine—mysteries a commonality in her life—if she did not have two tasks at hand. Protecting and feeding. To hunt would leave Metzli exposed; to guard would leave them to starve. And either would benefit from knowing where the fuck anyone was. So, divide and conquer.

Eilidh called to James, meaning to do so in words but only squawks came out. He understood regardless—even a simple look would’ve sufficed. In his own look, there was a creeping tension. Formed deeper lines and tighter jaw the closer he got to Metzli. In another state of mind, she would have the thought to wonder. To decipher those subtle flinches and squirming. To find what hid in each wrinkle, each twitch—a practice she was good enough to be tenured. But that was too much thinking and not enough doing. He was where she needed him to be and that’s all that registered. With that confirmation, she returned to the woods. Leaving James with Metzli and a strange sense of déjà vu.

Minutes passed before Eilidh’s return. Sporting a fresh layer of crimson on her hands and face. The body she carried too covered in fresh blood. Though it only met their paws, head no longer present. Torn away by ravaging bites. Enough to appease her hunger, to allow herself to do away with the kill. Though a part did want to hesitate, to consume the coyote in entirety. But seeing Metzli again, remembering in clarity their state. It appealed to something deep inside her. It told the hesitation to fuck off. She dropped the corpse near Metzli without a second thought. Remembering how to speak, she uttered a single word. “Eat.”

Obediently and with some difficulty, Metzli navigated their body to the coyote, consumed by the ravenous need to eat. When the blood hit their tongue, a feral fervor took control and fangs pierced the corpse, draining it quickly. It tasted better than usual, and they supposed starvation would do that to just about anything. At this state, Metzli would even drink from a werewolf.

No longer able to get another drop, fangs retracted and their body was upright once again. Now on auto-pilot, Metzli took steps that teetered to one side, but they remained standing. “There might be others. We—I—” Eyes tightened shut, trying to relieve any residual dizziness. “Hunt for food. Then hunt for stragglers.” Voice was vacant of their personality, laser-focused on finishing the job thoroughly.

“Thank you, Macleod,” A mutter, but not too low so that it went unheard. Grass depressed underneath their feet as they reached Eilidh to leave a bloody kiss on her cheek. “I will find a way to repay you. For now, let's search together. No splitting up. Not this time.” Crimson eyes locked with Eilidh’s briefly before turning and limping softly in their chosen direction, waiting for her to follow and finally put an end to the encounter.

[wickedmilo]

I’M HOME | MILO & METZLI

PLACE: Milo and Metzli’s apartment TIMING: 11:39 PM SUMMARY: Metzli and Milo are reunited WRITING PARTNER: @deathisanartmetzli CONTENT WARNINGS: Alcohol, addiction, mentions of drugs/substance abuse

Metzli was spiralling. The apartment, its energy,  felt like it was caving in on them the longer they waited, so they left. They were supposed to stay in bed. They were supposed to just trust that Milo would come home. They were supposed to listen to Bex. But ultimately, in true Metzli fashion, they didn’t want to listen. Tracking was one of their specialities and they had every intention of going out to use that skill. Intention could only get someone so far though, especially when they were as injured as the vampire. “Fuck!” they exclaimed angrily, tears falling down, burning their cheeks with their own sorrow. Thoughts circulated in their mind, wondering if they were even doing this for Milo or for themselves. It could easily be both, but they were selfish. Thanks to Eloy, that’s all they could be, deep down.  

They had only made it a mile from the apartment before their body began to wane. Their energy was fleeting, and they didn’t have enough blood in their system to justify staying out. Metzli let out a shaky huff and made their way back in about an hour, not even realizing that Milo’s scent got stronger the moment they stepped into the complex. Even stronger when they opened the door. But they were too withdrawn to even register it until they walked to the bathroom to wash up. “M-Milo?” 

Milo hadn’t been home for very long, but if he knew how to do anything, he knew how to utilise time. He hadn’t been eating well, which meant he was weaker than usual. And that might frustrate him if it didn’t make it so blissfully easy to succumb to his substances. Making sure his mice were settled in his bedroom, he didn’t hesitate to open a fresh bottle of vodka. One with the highest available alcohol content. The clear liquor, mixed with a few carefully crushed pills, meant he was almost able to forget the fact that he could smell Metzli when he let himself into the apartment. Much like the texts he had received, he was apparently being haunted by their metaphorical ghost. Stumbling through the familiar home... his home, the home he was supposed to be sharing with his friend, his intoxicated mind had decided that a bath would be the solution to his problems. If he could only sink into the hot, clean water, what he was wouldn’t matter anymore. Who he was, wouldn’t matter. Everything he had lost would fade away into nothingness.  

He couldn’t remember drawing the water, or even climbing, fully-clothed, into the tub. But slipping below the surface was far more comforting than it should be, and within minutes he could feel his consciousness slipping away. The lavender bath salts were incredibly seductive, luring him into a synthetic state of peace. His clothing grew wet, and heavy, clinging to his skin as he embraced the darkness threatening to pull him under. Time didn’t mean anything, as he curled up. His hair tickled his cheeks, the air left his lungs, creating bubbles that rippled as they steadily rose. Not needing to breathe allowed him to let go. He wasn’t in danger, he was safe, and warm, and beautifully numb. He closed his eyes against the water, realising that in nodding out, he was being offered a break. A break from his grief. A break from his life. A break from missing Metzli Bernal. He would be so stupid not to take it.

Metzli knew neither of them needed to breathe, but the image of Milo laying completely still in the tub still made them jerk forward and hit their knees on the floor with a bony thud. “Milo, what the fuck are you doing?” They pulled him up by slipping his arms underneath his, struggling in their state. “Come on you fucking ass, wake up.” All the movement caused the stitches to noticeably stretch, and they stopped before they messed up Bex’s hard work. With a frustrated groan, they rose to their feet, stumbling and slipping. It was with pure luck that they managed to catch themselves on the edge of the tub and keep themselves upright. 

They felt utterly helpless, sitting back down on the floor. There wasn’t much they could do without hurting themselves, and that wasn’t something Metzli handled all that well. Hands trembled, try to take out their phone to maybe get ahold of Bex. If they couldn’t rely on themselves, they’d swallow their pride and rely on their friends. Tears fell, staining their caramel skin and blurring their vision. The tears were a bittersweet mixture but they burned all the same.  

At first Milo thought he had imagined being lifted. The arms underneath him weren’t strong, or steady, but he felt them through the haze of his high. It took him far too long to realise they were real, and only as they withdrew, letting him fall back to the bottom of the tub, did he force himself to open his eyes. Blinking against the water, resisting the urge to take in a breath, a few minutes passed before he regained control of his body. His awareness of where he was grew alongside his control of his limbs, and he eventually pushed away from the ceramic, scrambling to reach the surface. He was curious to discover who had been trying to get his attention. Gulping down air on pure instinct, he straightened his glasses, pushing his sopping hair back away from his face. The smell of lavender was still strong, but it was no longer the only scent permeating the space. The ghost of Metzli was back, and he had to remind himself that they were in his head, even though their scent felt tangible. Even though it felt as though he could reach out and touch them. Slipping his fingers behind his lenses, he pressed down against his eyelids, the darkness offering a certain amount of clarity. No longer overwhelmed by sensations; the water, the lavender, the heat, the humidity, the feeling of his wet hair, and wet clothes… he became aware of new sounds, and new smells. Ones that were more difficult to initially pick up on.  

Listening to the quiet, rhythmic sound of breathing, registering the smell of dead blood, he dropped his hands back into the water, turning with such speed that it spilled over the edge of the bath. He heard it hit the tiled floor of the bathroom. The tiled floor where Metzli was sitting, looking sad, and small, but very, very much alive. He stared, scared to move in case they decided to disappear, or they proved to be a product of Virgil’s manipulation. “Met-” He broke off, choking on their name. It had been so difficult to say after losing them. He couldn’t tell whether his vision was blurred by tears, or by the water droplets on his glasses, but he didn’t care. He had far more important things to worry about. This was it, he was going insane. He was finally snapping under the pressure of his supernatural life. “Metzli- you can’t be here.” He leaned forward, pointedly ignoring the way his movements pushed yet more water over the edge of the bath. His hand brushing against their shoulder, he felt their body, solid and sure against his skin, and couldn’t stop a sob from escaping him. “Is it really you?” 

For as long as Metzli could remember, they shouted out into an infinite void with no one to hear. They met silence with just as much noise as someone who needed to take liberties in talking with loved ones who weren’t really there. Shouted until they shattered the glass wall that wedged between them and their chance at a family. Sometimes those echoes didn’t come back, but sometimes, with a little bit of luck, and an open ear, Metzli found that there was a reply. That reply could come in many forms, but this time, it came in the form of a sound and a firm touch. A reply that beckoned a response in return. 

Milo’s hand snapped them out of their thoughts, and their eyes widened in relief. “Yes, you ass! I’ve been trying to tell you! I told y—” Metzli yelled through their sobs, choking on them and lunging forward to wrap their arms tightly around Milo. Tears fell even harder, more so out of glee than despair. “God, why are you so fucking stubborn? I was trying to tell you. Bex saved me and got—fuck. Goddammit. I fucking missed you.” The floor was covered in water and they were officially drenched, but they couldn’t give a single fuck about it. Milo was in their arms, their family was in their arms again and they could live the life they had fought so hard for. Everything they had fought for was within reach, and they extended out with every piece of their being. 

The moment Milo heard Metzli’s voice, really heard it, he felt his entire world begin to reassemble. Where before it had shattered, and the shards had been left to lay where they fell, they were piecing themselves back together again. Everything he thought he knew was being rewritten. “It’s- it’s really you-” Tears finally breaking free and rolling down his cheeks, they merged with the water that was dripping from his hair. He wasn’t sure whether Metzli pulled him into a hug, or whether he had initiated the contact, but it wasn’t relevant. All that mattered was the fact that he was hugging Metzli. They were tangible, they were in front of him, their arms were holding him against them. It didn’t feel possible, and yet it was. He barely registered their words. The way they complained about him being stubborn and reminded him of the texts he had responded to with aggression. He could apologise later, and Metzli would have to understand his reasoning. Not only had his mental wellbeing been questionable after his stay with Virgil, anybody would be sceptical of a friend coming back from the dead. 

He buried his face in the crook of their neck, shelving his more complex thoughts for when he would fully be able to break them down. Inhaling their scent to distract himself, to ground himself firmly in the present, he did nothing to suppress his emotion. Sobs began to wrack his body, he was shaking uncontrollably. If he let go, they might leave. If he didn’t hold them tightly enough then maybe they would slip away from him. “How?” He asked, his voice muffled. “How- I don’t understand-” Pulling away so that he could look Metzli in the eye, his shock began to wane, and he grinned at them. His expression an even mixture of joy, confusion, and utter disbelief. “I missed you too, you have no idea how much I missed you. I thought- I thought I was never going to see you again.” 

A small but beaming smile flickered on their lips, the corners of their eyes wrinkled, and a soft chuckle graced the air. That same chuckle turned into a prolonged groan, the discomfort too much to hold in. They shook their head, looking directly in Milo’s eyes and kissed his forehead. Metzli was truly home, and they could finally wrap their arms around Milo and cement their return. “I told you. Bex. Our very rich friend has a private jet and used it to get me home.” Though they were happy, they continued to weep. Every tear represented both joy and grief, and just a little bit of fear too. Fear that none of what was in front of them was real. That maybe they were still in Mexico and Eloy had somehow used some sort of fucked up magic to create the illusion of home, the illusion of their escape. Fear that maybe, just maybe, they didn’t deserve any of what was in front of them at all. But that fear subsided, waning with every moment the two vampires held one another. Milo was real, and the family the two had created could continue to grow. They could rejoice, they could argue, they could celebrate, they could do everything in between. They could live. And maybe Metzli didn’t truly feel worthy, but they felt like enough for now. They could be enough for a little while. They didn’t have to let the waiting monster within consume them. 

“I’m home, Depresso. I’m really home.”