#envying my oldest brother rn

[horiizonsstuff]

So i went to a buffet today cuz older brother's birthday. And. I did something funny because I got bored also it was Scots' 100th anniversary/birthday smth smth. Hey king (LEANS ON EXPENSIVE STATION)

The amount of weird stares I got 😭

Bonus: I FOUND A THOMAS AND A PERCY OUT IN THE WILD WHILE I WAS TRYING NOT TO DROP MY PLATE OF SUSHI 😭‼️THEY WERE HAND BAGS 😰‼️

[finmoryo]

I took your "Which Tolkien character who gives me gender envy are you" quiz and I got Maedhros! I'm not sure why I did but I'm very very happy! The Noldor in general give me gender envy and I was wondering what aspects of the characters you could get in the quiz, physical or otherwise, are enviable.

I know this stuff is personal for some people but not for others so if you're not comfortable sharing that's 100% understandable!

It's a fantastic premise for a quiz

-@outofangband

@outofangband

Thanks for taking my quiz! I love sharing stuff about myself unfortunately (I can never shut up about myself, and that is probably why I have only one friend), so here we go.

Firstly, I'd just like to be an elf. I romanticize it too much. What I hate the most about Tolkien's lore is probably the diminishment of the elves. I like things staying the same, and I want the elves to prosper and stay super powerful, but clearly that doesn't happen and I've never been able to wrap my head around it.

Legolas - This was probably the hair and the fact that some old people thought I was cis boy when I dressed up as him for Halloween a few years ago (my brother went as Gandalf). I love the look of long hair, especially on men, but I can’t have it anymore. I cut it off for a reason. It gives me too many sensory issues, my hair is super curly and frizzy, and it gives me dysphoria. If I grew my hair out, I'd look even more feminine, even though my hair just looks naturally more masculine than most afabs. Long hair changes that. I'd love it, and I'd probably feel so powerful and euphoric with it after I complete my transition, but it's not going to happen.

Finrod - I think I put this just so the takers could have another option. Finrod is really pretty though, and I like him. Clamavi de Profundis's Battle of Sauron and Finrod Felagund was one of my introductions to the greater world of Tolkien outside the Hobbit and LOTR, so he's held a special place in my heart. He's noble and cool, and people like him. I guess I just want to be liked and seen in the way most people see him. I don't interact with others on here much, so I'm clueless about what people think of me.

Maglor - Out of all the Fëanorians, I loved (past tense bc I have no favorite now I love them all) him the most. I considered naming myself after him, but I thought it would get too confusing. Although considering you're called Nelyo, I might rethink that. Anyway, I've always admired Maglor. Probably for his musical skills and beautiful voice. I'm mediocre at best when it comes to playing instruments (although some would probably argue about my clarinet skills), and I cannot sing. My voice is low, but not as low as I'd like (it's super low rn though, I have a cold and it's at the cost of me coughing nonstop and choking on coughdrops when I fall asleep with them in my mouth). I'd love to have Maglor's beautiful voice and talent.

Sauron - Probably the one I envy most. The reason I got into the Silm. I love Phobs's art, with Sauron having red hair (I’ve seriously considered going ginger when I move out, but I don't want to grow my hair out. I'd wear a wig, but good ones are expensive and idk where to look), glowing eyes, and just an otherworldly presence. I've always imagined what it'd be like to live in a fantasy world, probably because I've been so detached from the real world and have relied on books for comfort and a place to call home or be sucked into. I never really fit in, whether it was in my body (I would love the shapeshifting maia powers) or just in society (I think I'm autistic, though I can't exactly confirm it).

Maedhros - For one thing, I'd like to be tall. I'm 5'1, and because of that I will pretty much always be misgendered or look like a middleschooler. I connect to Maedhros more closely than the other Fëanorians, except maybe Caranthir. I'm an oldest sibling, I just want to get along with people, and a couple other reasons that I can't remember because my memory is just awful.

Thranduil - The Hobbit movies introduced me to Tolkien, and I always thought he was super hot. 13 year old me did not imagine I would become obsessed with the Silm. I'm not exactly sure about this one. Maybe it was his grace, appearing as someone of a higher power, something more divine and beautiful than mankind, being one of the first elves I saw (not counting Elrond. Film Elrond is not a pleasure to look at). Also, my brother calls him "bushy brows" and makes fun of me because I think he's hot. I just wanna be hot, tall, and live in a fantasy world where I fit in. Not that I would, I have no skills and would probably just die.

[autisticteru]

im. honestly. a lot like teru in some ways.

aka i have this way of thinking that im like. Superior™ to others. like sometimes ill justbe hanging out with my friends and subconsciously ill be thinking “im better than you” and its not. a good feeling tbh. nor is it correct because like yeah consciously i know thats not true but its somewhere in my subconscious.

i used to think it was the opposite. i used to be so easily intimidated by people. maybe i just want to be the one who intimidates. isnt that sort of how it goes??? i admire the people im intimidated by. i do my best to be like them and emulate them so i can be perceived as “strong” and “smart” but im....im just trying to get compliments

i really do just want people to admire me. and envy me. and praise me. and say nice things abt me even when im not there. (although when that actually happens i get really flustered ngl.....but i guess i do want that more than anything else) 

i mean everyone in my family seems to consider me the least competitive person in my family because both my brother and sister actively and openly want to be the Best™ at everything but the truth is??? i already probably DO think im superior to both of them. maybe thats because they both always looked up to me. maybe thats because i was the oldest and also “gifted” and stuff like that. which is why my brother emulated me. and my sister always begged for my attention. 

god idk i dont remember where this was going. im working thru some bullshit rn

[todokori-kun]

(aww don’t worry, that’s totally fine!

 And oh no, I’m so sorry you had a hard time ;-; I babysit a LOT (I do it basically every day since I don’t have any studying to do right now…I go out to take a walk with my little sister and all her friends flock to me like “EVANS we’re playing tag and you gotta be it, please?” like how can you resist those eyes omg. Maybe I’m just too soft?) so I know what it’s like…

tbh my little sister is an ok kid- she’s nicer than a lot of kids I know (probably because my mom is super strict when it comes to manners and being kind/polite to others) and is super adorable at times. But, like everyone else, she has her bratty moments XD She has a bad habit of sulking sometimes over little things and then she just starts whining in a way that completely drains anyone who has to listen to her. She also refuses to compromise when she’s sulking so. Yeah. Really frustrating LOL

(is chewing with your mouth open rude in Croatia too? This might sound gross to you then but it’s totally fine in Korea so most people do it that way lol)

Anyway,I hope you’re ok now Queen *hugs*)

Yeah, I might.

My parents actually bought the books for me because they were interested in reading the series too, but idk.

I recently realized that FMA has a lot of Rising Sun Flag designs in it, and that’s considered offensive over here (probably in China too) because it’s associated with Japanese Imperialism (which was pretty ugly). Not sure why it was used in FMA because FMA seems to be all against war and violence, but I guess the artist, like most Japanese people, just doesn’t know what the Rising Sun Flag is associated with in other countries…

I talked about my mom with it and she’s fine with me reading FMA as long as I know what I’m doing, but I don’t think she’ll really want to read it herself anymore.

Ok that looks horrible for my feelings. I love it. I’ll have to find a way to watch that over here! :D

I think one of the problems is that sometimes writers are so desperate to make ‘strong’, ‘likable’ characters that they overdo it…

Yep, Killua is the cutie with the fluffy white hair! :) He’s not my favorite out of the main four (that’s either Gon or Leorio), but he’s pretty good. Killua is the youngest, most talented Zoldyck kid who’s probably going to be chosen as the heir once his parents die, but he doesn’t want to. The thing that makes Killua different from Illumi and his other siblings is that he hates his training and really doesn’t want to grow up to be an assassin, and that’s why he ran away from home at the start of the series.

(then of course his mother sent Illumi to pick him up, and Illumi’s all like “Why did you run away from home?“ then it’s basically

Kilua: “Because I didn’t want to stay and I have other stuff I want to do. Like, hopes and dreams, things I want to achieve in life, you know?”

Illumi: …

Illumi “lol what hopes and dreams you’re a murderer Killua. A bloodthirsty killer just like the rest of us. no rainbows and unicorns for you”

Killua: “That’s not true! I have friends now, friends who I actually enjoy spending time with! People who are NICE to me!”

Illumi: “*sigh* this is why we can’t have nice things, dearest brother…these ‘friends’ are the reason you won’t come back home, right? So if I just go and kill them, problem solved! :)”)

…that sounds really accurate.

(also wow are we actually making Kimblee/Evans headcanons. WHEN did this become a thing.)

the smol pokemon (I think it’s called Meowth? Also from what I remember it’s evil) would probably be Envy or Pride lol

Moblit has been put out of his suffering by Isayama though ;-;

Yep, Idk what would happen to the fandom if Armin actually kicked the bucket (gotta stop talking about that we might jinx it 0.0).

Naomi would really disown him then LOL

Ah, tysm queen <333 I do try to keep a color palette in in mind but it’s hard to stick to just one so I just look for pics with similar tones or colors that go well together (like the Tatsuo aesthetic is a bit all over the place but because they’re mostly 'cooler’ shades I don’t think it looks that bad? XD).

(the wine gave it away, right? lol)

Were the aesthetics still ok-ish, though? ;-;

IT’S AMAZING I’M SCREAMING TOO. FINALLY MORE LOKI. AND HELA. SHE LOOKS AMAZING (I love Cate Blanchett). ALSO HULK CAN APPARENTLY TALK NOW? That’s actually pretty cute…

(but more Thor with short hair, I mean the hairstyle does look good on him but I can’t stop seeing Chris Hemsworth instead of Thor ok. He feels like a different character now lol) 

((I’m watching Iron Man 2 rn. Tony: It’s not about us, it’s about Legacy.

Legacy, what is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.))

Aw, you’re so lucky with your sister! I’m the younger sis in my family, and I know I was a little shit, but I’m not anymore :))) I feel sorry for my big sis…

I can imagine Evans playing with little kids at the local heart… my heart is melting T^T Ahaha, everyone whines from time to time. Well, I guess it can be annoying if the person does it too much… 

Well, it’s considered rude, but an embarrassingly big number of people do it. I’ve always been raised not to do it, so it’s become one of my biggest pet peeves.  Oh dear… If I ever visit Korea, that’s gonna be a fun experience XD 

I’m fine now, since he’s gone back to Zagreb, I’m gonna see him again in September. Plenty of time to recover XD

Oh wow! That’s pretty interesting. My parents know my hobby, but they stay far away from it… They did watch Spririted Away with me, though, so it’s something…

I didn’t know that… I mean, I knew about the rising flag thing, but I didn’t really notice the amount of it in the manga… I usually don’t pay attention to those things, though I think I read somewhere that, in the original manga, the original Greed was crucified. I’m not sure if it was changed for the translation or before the publication. In the anime and in the manga I’ve read, he was tied around that huge stone. 

How much did she read? Is she upset by the rising sun? Well, it’s still nice that she tried to read it ^^

Is kissanime banned in Korea? Or do you just want to watch the series legally? Cause it’s definitely easier to watch it there. You’ll love Re:Zero, I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s an infinite loop of suffering. That’s the actual description oft the anime.

All this talk about HxH is making me wanna watch it, but it has more than 140 episodes and I’m really not the person for long anime (which is rich, considering I’ve watched all Fairy Tail episodes, and there’ like 277 of those. First and last time I watched something like that). I feel so sorry for Killua ;-; He seems like a cinnamon roll and cinnamon rolls never deserve treatment like that… Why can’t he be happy??

WHY IS ILLUMI SO MEAN TO HIS LITTLE BRO??? I MEAN, I GOT YOUR OTHER MESSAGE AND EVERYTHING IS EXPLAINED, BUT STILL

Tbh, it kinda makes sense to me for Illumi to be the most messed up one, since he’s the oldest and has been under their influence for the longest, not to mention parents tend to be hardest on their oldest kids, but still. Damn. Also, torturing anyone, let alone a 12yo is just. That show is seriously messed up.

It’s always fun making peoplexchatacter headcanons! I always enjoy writing them, especially if they make people happy (and aren’t necessarily matchups), and it’s even more fun for you, because you’re a cinnamon roll (90% of the time)  and it’s so much fun writing about cinnamon rolls~ 

Ah, I see! Still, Chibi envy and pride sound quite! They’d probably cause so much problems for the two of you, but it would be awesome to see. 

Right. I just remembered Moblit and the recent characters. Welp.  I found a sentence on his wiki that describes me perfectly during the school year: “Much of the time, this left him in a state of near-panic(…)” Sounds like me.

Maybe we can try to double jinx it? Armin is definitely gonna die in the next chapter! (If he does, I’m smashing something XD)

Yep, it’s not bad ^^ But it’s always a tiny bit better if the colors are as similar as possible. The Olivier one was probably the best one yet, since it mostly sticks with blue-grey! So you’re improving quickly ^^ All of them are good, though! So don’t beat yourself up over it ^^ They’re your aesthetics and you’re free to make them however you want ^^

YEEEE I AM SO EXCITED!!! Omg, but I need to tell you about my dream that I had the night after watching the trailer. So my family is having some kind of Christmas gathering and I come downstairs to greet everyone and boom! There, on the couch, sitting next to my sister and explaining the process of making a movie, is Tom Hiddleston. Apparently, he was my really distant cousin?? Which made me really confused?? And I wanted to ask him a few questions about Ragnarok, but I was too damn shy, even though my sister had right about 0 problems talking to him,  and I was quite jealous actually =3=  According to my dream, they had to climb up some mountain by themselves to film it.  It was McFreaking weird.

But still TT^TT HIS FABULOUS HAIR!! I’ll never get over it….

Iron Man 2 is on! Well, I’m not watching it anymore XD I’m not gonna see the last 30 mins, cause i’m switching the channel, since Sherlock (the TV show) begins shortly. I’ll probably watch the rest of Iron Man some other day ^^

Ah, also, I'm afraid I won't be able to answer for a week... unfortunately, I won't have access to a laptop, so =3= i could probably answer asks though ^^