#eric 🧯📚

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

[on the phone]

Are you sure??? I can com-

No. Vally, your with ivan today!! You had that while spa day planned for months, im certified, im trained, i even re did my CPR, dont worry ok?

…fine… BUT I-

If they get violent i call you, they wont!! They’re good kids ill be home soon

Mmmph… fine. I love you. Good bye mwah

Mwah mwah mwah- ivan take care of your mom

BYE DADDD

[he sets down shopping bags, putting it away and preparing to cook spaghetti bolognaise]

[fl4m3-f1l3s]

📞~~

Val! Omg the best thing just happend!!!

Mhm? Whats up eric

THEY GOT THAT GODDAMN KILLER-

Are… are you watching criminal minds again?

Yes….

Without me?

Hey im already watching 911 with you let me have my own shows!!

[she chuckles] ill be home soon eric… its been a good day- oh also i need help planning lil gifts!!

Really?! Omg YES!!!!! Aaa!!! Omg ill start planning

Love you eric, ill bring home some lemonade

Hell yea!!!

Am i on speaker?

Yes

HI IVANNNN!!! Ill be home soon!!!

HI MOM!!!! LOUIS IS HERE!!!

HI MRS D’CRUZ

AWWW- god should i bring cedar home??

Nononono- he just had dinner, sent me a whole rant! That uh-.. whos it.. xenio? Great cook… doesnt compare to me!!… ill send you with lasagna to give to him tomorrow. Cant have him forgetting whos the good chef!!!

Eric you try hard. Right im locking up my office ill be home soon, love you all

BYE MOM!!!

BYE MRS D’CRUZ!!!

Ill see you later love ok? Mwah. drive safe

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

[he runs behind, smiling as wide as is humably possible, mans glowing]

House rules, you pick

No foul play, hands on your own dish, no bribing our esteemed judges and… have fun.

Oh and prepare to have you ass handed to you hook line an sinker

[walks in]

So.

Me

You

Cook off?

@k1ndl1ng-fl4m3

You're on old man!

[They zoom over to the kitchen, wearing a slightly messy apron already]

What're we cooking?

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

Old man! Look who's finally here!

[They "run" in with an orange haired person, the aura of an illusory quickly drops to present as that of a seer]

Hi! It's good to finally put a face to the name, Eric, correct?

-🥀🐦‍⬛&⏳

[he has a breif look of shock]

Aah… the imfamous apollo!!

Pleasure! Hello!!-.. do you uh- do you want tea? Juice?.. something to keep your sugar levels up??

[he goes to look for a clean glass or mug]

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

Oh hi, you're here again

-🥀🐦‍⬛

[coming out of vals office]

Oh!! Xenio!!! How are you? Do you like pizza?? If i made pizza would you like a blood sauce..? I could try that-..

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

Hey, so uh, who won?

-🥀🐦‍⬛

You- i think anyway- i must have added too much salt in mine- val even hated it

Ya beat me at my own game kiddo

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

I'm a better cook than you >:[

-🥀🐦‍⬛

Ah the vampire ive heard so much about!! Hello xenio

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

Eric?

-🔒🐦‍⬛

Ella!

[he sets down his shopping]

Now, how do you feel about pizza?

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

I fucking hate cases. Why the fuck are these killers so fucking stupid. I could do better and get away.

Fuck sake…

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

[bursts in]

Eric??? Arent yo- wait why the fuck are you here

PIZZAS THATS WHY.

…are you ok?- what happend- [she stands up]

Ill tell you what happend. Zolanis. Girlfriend. Who the fuck permitted her to be on site?! After what i just heard?!

Now- eric- ok i love you?? Calm down.

CALM DOWN?!

Eric, i can feel you being a fucking furnace now would you please knock it down before i get cedar to come in here and judge you???

…dont use my son against me…

Mhm-

[valerie wraps her arms around eric]

Ill handle it.. ok?

If i hear she-

You wont hear… dont worry

[eric kisses valerie]

I love you- now if your making pizzas we can share one in here-… and i will happily lady and the tramp it

Stop bribing me with cheesy romance films

You love it.

I love you.

[k1ndl1ng-fl4m3]

Hello!! Lovely to meet you all!

Eric 🧯📚 - general tag

How can i help? 🧯 - asks

Redacted project crows 🐦‍⬛- group tag

[fl4m3-f1l3s]

📞 ~~

Val??

Mhm-

You on your way home yet? Ivan got a good report card so i made chocolate cake, was expecting you to rush home

I-.. i will be home soon… incident reports

Again?.. it wasnt cedar again was it? He called me last night-

No.. no not cedar its… the two new ones. Ones a kleptomaniac and ones… them. And i really dont appreciate being yelled at in my own office because “oh im being unreasonable”

Val-

I mean they tried to dent my fucking desk eric!

…isnt that shit mahogany?

EXACTLY

ok look val.. finish those reports, we can have movies or something… i think ivan invited louis over anyway so it will just be us

Thats… thats nice eric… ill be home as soon as i can… i love you..

I love you to, drive safe ok? Mwah-