#eric gun ajhq

[nottherealajhq]

Every single GODDAMN day, people come into my office asking me stupid questions. "Eric, why is the coffee machine broken again?" "Eric, how do I delete System32 on my computer?" "Eric, why are all my nice hair scrunchies being used as accessories for your Furby collection?" I'M DONE WITH IT. LEAVE. MY. OFFICE. :)

I don't know who you're talking about, and FRANKLY, I don't CARE!!!!! All of you EMPLOYEES are identical. Why should I know who does Fun Facts Sunday? She was annoying, and she's gone. BYE.

[aparrchives]

[volcanicflowers]

003 /w Harold AJHQ

thanks

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: the true hero of playanimaljam (even though he tried to take over the company with a gun and wore Miles AJHQ as a scarf but perhaps that just makes him more of a hero?)

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: His wife, Jane.  also literally every other playanimaljam character

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: national geographic and bigfoot

My unpopular opinion about this character: let him go home

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Let Him Go Home

Favorite friendship for this character: shitballs don’t have friends but i think he could bond with brady barr

My crossover ship: I once wrote a Harold X Wheatley fanfic, it’s Too Cursed For Human Eyes but it’s where I got the idea of Harold being transformed into a logo head from although in the fic he just straight up transforms into Eric AJHQ after committing murder

[nottherealajhq]

This is why I love my job, Jammers! I don't HAVE to worry about any weird shit going on. I just get to hang out and watch videos of shirtless men cooking lobsters, my favorite activity-

(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Jammers. What the fuck was that.

[nottherealajhq]

[GARBAGE DISPOSAL COUGH SFX]

[nottherealajhq]

ajhq are you transgener.....

Well, ACTUALLY, Jammer, that's NONE of your business...

...But I can assure you, I'm CERTAINLY not cis. :)

PronounAnimalJam (2018) dir. Cock Stacey

[nottherealajhq]

What in the HIVE are you fucking talking about?? I was out for... THE ENTIRETY OF THE PAST FUCKING HOUR?! You didn't even TRY to help me in that timeframe??? Not at ALL?????? Wow, great fucking "FRIEND" that you are, ™!

[nottherealajhq]

...the nerve of some people. :)...

Anyway! What was I watching before I got RUDELY interrupted- ah, yes, a video of a woman mixing every single cleaning product she owns into one bathtub and filling her house with mustard gas. MY FAVORITE. :)

[nottherealajhq]

Attention all Layer 13 employees:

This is your MANAGER speaking. Please refrain from creating ANY POSTS containing the words """fun""", """facts""" and BIGFOOT FORBID "Sunday." THIS IS A PERMANENT RULE. :) I am SICK of you bringing back UNFUNNY, OLD JOKES that no one even FUCKING remembers anymore. THANK YOU.

[nottherealajhq]

in the next Animal Jam Classic update every phantom will be replaced by a different homestuck troll. have fun, jammers! Fuck You!

---------------------

Not funny, Jammer. Those wiggling wriggling filthy grey bastards are impossible to fucking contain in this company, not even the damn HIVE keeps them under control, and you think you can just JOKE about them being in OUR GAME? For SHAME, Jammer. For fucking shame.

[nottherealajhq]

Hey, Jammers! Good morning! Sorry about my absence, NOT that any of you would actually CARE, HAHA, but there's been these HORRIBLE glowing lines appearing around the office and it's STRAIGHT UP like San Andreas Fault in here! Literally, we keep on having earthquakes and shit in here! I think the building is going to collapse! Anyways, what did I miss-

[nottherealajhq]

eric cock stacey died

May Bigfoot guide our White CEO's soul to finally be freed of this weight called "Animal Jam", Jammer.

[nottherealajhq]

Jammers

[nottherealajhq]

Gee, Jammers! I'm sure glad I don't work at anywhere but AJHQ! Everyone else at this other companies is a fucking freak! Not me, though.

[nottherealajhq]

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[nottherealajhq]

Eric.

Eric. Get up.

There we are. Good job. Do us a favor and look in the dark, yeah? Right there. In the dark.

That's it. Don't stop looking. It's okay. Don't be scared. Just keep on looking in the dark, Eric.

It's us, Eric. Ween. From Ween. No need to be afraid.

Eric, listen to us. Us, as in Ween. From Ween. Do you ever sit back and think about how far they have butchered the legacy of Spongebob due to the lack of quality within its modern era? Not only have they seemingly run out of ideas, regurgitating episodes filled with generic tropes and low-brow humor, but the original charm of its respective characters has flown far out the window as each one only resembles a shallow imitation of their former selves. Take Patrick, for example. Once upon a time, his "stupidity" reflected that of a blissful innocence instead of the grotesque state of ignorance that Modern Patrick, or more appropriately, PatPRICK has begun to show. Unlike the moments of Wisdom Patrick once formerly showed, PatPRICK is an idiotic echo-chamber, bringing down all his friends with his insolent behavior, all the while the audience can only sit in aggravation. This is not even to mention the treatment of Squidward, whose cynical comedy has been nearly removed to make way for nonstop torture porn of the poor character, being beaten down in every possible situation imaginable in a way that these sickos think is "FUNNY", but trust me I mean us, (Ween,) Eric, it's NOT funny. The first three seasons and 2004 movie are the only episodes worth your time, and truly encompass nothing but the "Golden Era" of Spongebob Squarepants.

It seems like you don't understand, Eric. It's okay. As an avid user I mean users of the Scumbob Wiki, we, Ween, can explain to yERIC.

Ween, from Ween,

WOULDN'T

F̸̬̀̈́̈U̴̗͌́̚C̴̬̈̋̕K̷̠̈́͛̏I̵̬̖̍͠N̶̡̎̕G̸̨̭̪̊̔

SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!