#errrr WHAT IF I FALL OUT OF THIS STUFF IN A WEEK?

[fujxnarchive]

Caifuu is lifefuu - ship meme

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - like, forever? 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Well, funny story; Caius’ actions as an obliging platonic partner will lead him to gradually fall in love with her, eventually seeing her in a romantic light. Whereas Fuu, after she works through her aversion for her soulmate, will instantly accept Caius. Accepting someone and loving someone are interchangeable things in Fuu’s mind, who only sees the world as posse and not posse. It will take her like ageeees to realize she has romantic feelings for Caius, because she’s a dork.

How was their first kiss? - She initiated it, out of curiosity probably !! It was….. probably very painful for Caius, who had to bend down a lot to kiss her back lol

Wedding:

Who proposed? -  Caius. Does she accept? Nah, she totally rejects him, and he has to convince her that marriage won’t change anything. They already act like an old married couple by that point.

Who is the best man/men? - Seifer and Raijin muscle themselves into that position.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Yeul ?? Maybe ??

Who did the most planning? - They both do equal amounts on this one. 

Who stressed the most? - Fujin, because Caius asked her to actually wear a white wedding dress to the ceremony—-dress shopping is stressful for her.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? 

Sex:

Who is on top? - If they ever got to the point, it’d probably be Fuu. Have you SEEN how big Caius is compared to Fujin? ;)

Who is the one to instigate things? - Caius, who steals kisses from her till she can do nothing but follow his lead.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now 

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - they’re both teachers……. so they both have set bedtimes……… so they last until they both pass out hah

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - uh, sure ??

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - one !! just enough, plus their two kitty fur babies.

How many children will they adopt? - …two kitty fur babies?

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Fujin !!

Who is the stricter parent? - They’re both equally strict, both relying on each other to keep the peace in the house. There’s no point in one person being the ‘strict one’ when they can share that responsibility equally!

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Fujin, definitely.But Caius has the best disappointed face though.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Caius. If not for him, even Fujin would just eat from the cafeteria for her lunch during school rushes.

Who is the more loved parent? - hmmmmmm

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Seeing as they’re both teachers…… well, that probably wouldn’t be a good thing for them to attend!

Who cried the most at graduation? - neither !! they just stood there, proud af

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Caius, because his disappointed passive face is always on point.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Caius, and he actually volunteers to do so. Without being asked??

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Caius, only because Fujin just grudgingly eats whatever Caius puts on a plate in front of her.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Fuu !! They go to the market together, he gives her the list, and basically acts as the shopping cart pusher while she peruses.

How often do they bake desserts? - only if Caius ever craves dat sugah

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Fujin likes her meat, but Caius feeds her tons of veggies. So, both !!

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Caius, but Fujin would be the one to bring a thoughtful gift.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - they both like their silence, and are ok with indoor dates, but maybe Fujin will sometimes suggest going out? 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Fujin, if Caius ever let her cook. Since Caius doesn’t let her cook, she’s been out of practice with cooking.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Fujin !! She knows where everything belongs in their house

Who is really against chores? - neither, really ?? I guess Fujin probably doesn’t want to do the laundry, so there’s that…

Who cleans up after the pets? - Fujin !! She also likes brushing their fur, as well as Caius’ hair. Not that he’s a pet…….

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither !!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - errrr what guests hah

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - the cat did

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Caius, because dat hair.

Who takes the dog kitties out for a walk? - they have kitty babies not doggy babies, but if they did go on walks, then both of them would take them out !

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They don’t decorate very much, and if they did, it would only be small decorations. Like, a smol christmas tree, Fuu-sized.

What are their goals for the relationship? - to create a safe space and a content future together. 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Fujin, only when she’s ill though !! Caius forces her to stay in bed basically

Who plays the most pranks? - Caius puts macadamias in random places for her to find, and she thinks it is not funny ok

[intergalacthicc]

10/06/18

i havent talked about my new interest of affection. i am writing this now because even if things are way waaaay far from being normal, i just wanted to reminisce the good old days while im still not feeling bitter about it. i am not into mushy stuff and sappy things but here goes. he probably would never even get to read this so lol. 

i was totally fine with being alone. i had a bad case of a heartbreak earlier this year and i was confident with being alone. i’ve learned it the hard way; not seeking for others company to feel secured. but then this soul came out of the blue. it wasnt like at first sight. errrr or should i say that it wasnt like at first virtual conversation. nor the second. or the third. it started out as something purely virtual, yes. we just talked and talked and talked. gradually, though not slowly, i became comfortable with this soul. i am the type of person who feels lowkey anxious with phone calls yet this soul made it so easy for me to talk to him on the phone from 10pm til dawn. it lasted for a few days. then for a week. then for two weeks. slowly, without realizing, it kinda grew into me. he grew into me. 

he was far from my ideal. oh god, he was barely my ideal. hes apathetic, hes not into chivalry, he has a lot of pet peeves, hes detached, he keeps on maintaining this cool headed doesn’t give a damn type of facade, hes too honest, and hes annoying. he had these ear piercings, one he pierced on his own. he smokes more than five times a day. he usually isn’t sober. but then theres this side of him who’s into literature so much, who gets lost in his surroundings the moment he gets so immersed reading a book, who writes his heart out, who writes poetry, who believes in passion (he wouldnt agree on this but i can see it), who loves films and music as much as i do, who loves memes ranging from dank to dark. he was a mix of both good and bad. he was the perfect balance of good and bad. 

this soul made me become more in sync with myself. he taught me the art of saying no. he taught me to say whats on my mind despite the fact that i may hurt other peoples feelings. he taught me not to be too much of a pushover. i guess i may be romanticizing it too much. but thats how i felt. he made me happy. i felt like i was a teenager in her coming of age years all set up for a free fall. i felt butterflies on my stomach. and he said he did too. its crazy. its overwhelming how you can give and receive the same amount of affection from a person. i wasnt asking for him but the universe let us cross paths even for a little while. it mustve meant something. sometimes i wonder why we had to click and vibe easily only for the connection to be taken away from us on such a short notice. if he was given to me only to be a lesson then alright. i guess i have to swallow the fucking pill. i just done get it sometimes. i havent felt this connection throughout my experience. im not even exaggerating it. i havent found someone i can truly be comfortable with. why did it have to end so soon. whyyyy

people say that ill find someone new. that hes not the last person ill feel this connection with. im forced to end it because my parents told me so. it sucks. both of us are so happy yet we had to let go because of all these external forces coming right at us. honestly, im a coward. i cant go through the process of letting go and moving on yet again. i dont know how ill be able to cope this time knowing that this soul grew into me unlike nobody else before. so if the heartbreaks ive went through already hurt so bad, i dont know how this one would. im also scared when the time comes, if the time comes, that ill find a new love, i may end up comparing the rush to this one. no one will make me feel the way he did. 

its crazy. my parents said they will never accept this guy. how could so much love for me hinder me from being genuinely happy? i know this is me being selfish. ive tried the best i can to be the ideal daughter for my parents. i mess up one time and now im not allowed to do anything except to drop the guy. im starting to lose hope that there will ever be any slightest bit of chance for compromise. harsh words have been said already. heavy heavy words have cause hurt and pain. everythings fucked up. it sucks that i cant do anything to fix it. but okay, ill try to get my shit together. ill try.

[rugessnome]

First job: ummmm errrr it's complicated no comment

Zodiac sign: it changes if you take ~2000 years and Ophiuchus into account, although that suggests more about when in the time I was born. Anyway it should be the same as hegodamask's and if you snoop around on my blog I have mentioned it

Favorite pizza: idek. I enjoy various types of pizza. But I do like pineapple on pizza as well.

Favorite dog: probably my friend's dog who I have only met once but who was a sweetheart. This seems like an odd question, tbh: does it mean a type of dog, or, uselessly to the people likely to be reading the answer, a particular dog?

Favorite foot attire: because I actually live in a (surprise, surprise, me--I always figured it was temperate!) subtropical climate and summer, most of the time either nothing indoors or sneakers (sandals some in summer). Aesthetically, certain types of boots.

Favorite roller coaster: Despite having roller coasters an hour or so away, I've only ever been on a fair kiddie coaster, which I did not really enjoy (not because of extreme features. because it kept knocking my hips against stuff). I do like spinning rides though, getting a couple extra Gs...

Favorite candy: only through considering what I actually consume given the opportunity, it's dark chocolate peanut butter cups. But like, dark chocolate oranges are also good...there's a lot of good candy!

Favorite ice cream: isn't that hard to choose... Graeter's black raspberry chip is yes very regional and kinda expensive, but very good. I had some of Jeni's darkest chocolate, which is beginning to show up down here, due to a sale or clearance and that's pretty ultimate ice cream too, but it's so expensive... However, generally, ice cream is just good... Dippin Dots... (however, I don't think I've ever had Ben and Jerry's)

Pet peeves: uhhhh... having to be near cigarette smoke. It smells terrible, it's terrible for you, and more than the slightest exposure makes me feel physically bad.

What are you listening to right now: also ambient background noise.

Color of your vehicle: ...silver

Color of your eyes: green? which I was always told growing up. hazel? which seems like a more accurate description

Favorite holiday: iii just don't know. Let's just say most major holidays are ...complicated anymore because of my background and go with π day.

Night owl or day person: generally tend toward night owl...

Favorite day of the week: ...yeah, Fridays are nice.

Tattoos: none

Like to cook: in most cases, if I have clean utensils. do I like to do dishes? ...not really.

Beer or wine or neither: I have yet to (but have barely tried) find wine I thought was even slightly palatable. Fruit gose beers, though... (of which I've had two and tasted a third. since I've already mentioned Graeter's, giving away my general metropolitan area: Urban Artifact. good luck finding them in stores, though.). But I also don't drink very often. Occasionally it's gotten to (one) once a week, but it averages out to less than once a month since I first drank more than a taste.

Can you drive a manual transmission: not really. I would gamely try in an emergency, but I would probably stall out frequently.

Favorite color: mmm can't even choose that. Certain greens and blues are very good, but lately I've also been liking yellows and that one strong shade of Dutch orange.

Do you like vegetables: yes, most of those available to me, in some preparation or other. Mushrooms and green and lima beans are tricky, and the one time I bought raddichio itself rather than getting it in some salad mixes it was...horrible but I think that may have been a fluke and/or my bad storage choices, because I also once had a head of iceberg with a similar problem (the one time I tried to make a wedge salad) except that lettuce isn't noticeably bitter to begin with.

Do you wear glasses: except sometimes for reading or using my phone, yes

Favorite season: ...idk maybe winter. It's not summer (ugh. heat.), spring is sometimes allergy misery and otherwise complicated, and fall...has some unpleasant associations. I'm...not going to tag anyone, but feel free to participate (and for that purpose to consider yourself ~tagged) if you read this

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x04 recap

Aka ‘You probably should have just watched 3x03 again, Laura’

Okay, clearly I don’t do well with deadlines. Despite having 2 weeks to do it, I’m still doing this last minute, so it’s gonna be a fairly short one. Not to mention that this wasn’t exactly my favourite episode, so I may have fewer thoughts about it than others... but there’s definitely a few thoughts I do wanna share, so here goes. 

At first I thought that little girl was Alice but then realised all the many reasons why that made no sense. Instead we get introduced to a bomber guy who is clearly gonna be relevant to the ep despite just seemingly blowing himself up...

Oooh Jane came out with the truth about Roman calling her. Nice, honey. I’m proud of your openness. I wonder if Weller noticed she was acting weird last night, since it’s morning now? Also dude she gave him yet another perfect opening to tell her about Berlin and he didn’t take it!!!! Literally no matter what happened in Berlin, his staying silent about it is bad enough in itself. Dude you are setting yourself up for a big fall here!

Naww I love that Zapata is always checking in on Patterson. Ugh, these sisters. And instead of forcing her to take a break, like all the others would have tried to do, she just asks how she can help. I just love these two. I love that Zapata helps her see things from a different angle and gives her a plan to follow. Poor Patterson is so determined to make it up to Stuart and she needs all the help she can get

God I love Hirst’s accent. But dude what is happening with this scene. How have she and Reade been on such close terms that they had a bet that involved potentially shaving her head?? That’s the kind of thing you agree on whilst drunk. Have these two gotten drunk together?? What is going on. Also she legit takes the ugly jumper thing and agrees to wear it to a meeting?? At work, at the FBI?? With executive people?? That just feels very unlikely. Also dude she basically just said ‘hey Reade if you’ve done any shady shit make sure it’s buried deep because we’re gonna have people looking into us’. Wow.

Anyway my lil genius has cracked a tatt, which relates to the bomber guy we just saw before. Lol the guy’s ex wife nailed him by recognising his handwriting and tipping off the cops. You go, girl. Now though Patterson’s smarts they’ve found a van in some particular car park in Brooklyn, and lol Weller’s doing the bombsquad thing for some unknown reason. All that’s in the van is a letter though-- to the bomber’s daughter, from the bomber. He’s not really dead. Dun dun dunnnnnnn (lol get it bc his last name is Dunn haha)

Oh boy we’re actually seeing the wedding video. I don’t know whether to roll my eyes or melt into a puddle, but tbh I’m a little more leaning towards the eye rolling. I like that Zapata and Reade are doing theirs together, because I imagine they were both like ‘you go first, no you go  first, no you go I don’t know what to say’ so they just went in together. And lol ‘what do you even do in Colorado’ (right tho??) and ugh they’re so looking forward to being part of Jeller’s future and Reade even tells them he loves them (sidenote I like his earrings) and they say ‘don’t screw this up’ which kinda just hurts to hear because man did they screw it up real bad. Also Patterson ‘videobombing’ is the best lol. But I wanna know what happens in between the cuts! Where’s the director’s cut of this vid? haha

Lol Zapata giving Weller shit about the bombsquad thing (right tho????) and then also giving Jane shit, saying that she was surprised she didn’t squeeze into the suit and go with him. Ugh Zapata is so great this season already, can she just be like this forever? I’m still confused about Hirst’s ugly sweater sitch and why this is even being included. Is it to show her bond with Reade/the team? To show she’s a good sport?? Why Gero what are you trying to sayyy. Also they found the bomber’s daughter (who has had some trouble with the law herself) and they’re gonna bring her in to try find the bomber or whatever

Roman is looking dapper and heads into some fancy event as his new Tom persona. And then he meets Blake, the gorgeous hostess of the event, and who was also another former ‘LA Complex’ character-- fun fact she played the long-lost sister of Jonathan Patrick Moore’s character, so technically her and Roman’s siblings kind of dated. Ish. But ugh he’s being all cute and charming and weirdly Australian and she’s clearly liking it. She has such a great smile, it lights up her whole face. Aaaand the moment she walks away he’s off doing something sneaky, bc of course he is.

The bomber’s daughter is being recalcitrant, naturally. Goes with the territory. Weller and Reade are interrogating together which is nice, I like my good boys playing together. Glad to see Weller isn’t being such a butt. Anyway turns out her dad doesn’t drop the letters himself but has someone do it for him, and there’s an emergency signal for if she needs help. So they go to the park and they’re so cute all loitering about ‘undercover’. And I like that Jane can tell from across the park that Weller isn’t happy with the situation. Naww, so married.  Based on Weller’s gut they all move out, looking for the drop guy. Of course it’s Jane that spots him-- and does he spot the daughter, or Jane?? I can’t tell which he’s looking at. She loses him momentarily and then next thing he’s got a gun on her-- only he recognises her, his tone surprised but not hostile when he says ‘Remi?’ So they knew each other in the Sandstorm days?? He’s definitely not pleased to see her working with the cops though…

Oh boy. Now Weller is on the wedding vid and okay it’s pretty damn cute. And ugh he said the thing about her being his starting point AND end point and ughhh how many of us included a line like that in our fics?? But ugh he loves her so muuuch and he’s so emotional and amazed and happy to be marrying her ugh

Okay after that brief interlude we’re back to the suspect guy. What has this guy been in? I recognise him. And he seems to actually like Remi/Jane, which is why I think she is able to get the jump on him. I always love Jane being a badass. I wanna know what happens right after this tho-- like does she radio/call the team and be like ‘hey guys come to the house across the street I’ve incapacitated our suspect’ and Weller is all like ‘are you okay?????’ while the Reade is hoping that she managed to do it without drawing attention or injuring him too badly, and Zapata’s just miffed bc she didn’t get to kick any butt lol. Back at the lab Patterson fills them in-- he’s a dude that’s wanted in like seven countries for “like, all of the crimes” hahahaha. I love the way she said that. Zapata’s kinda impressed with him since according to the CIA he’s the go-to guy for forged documents. Then Reade sends Jeller in to do the interrogation and tbh I’m kinda getting used to Reade giving the orders. It’s pretty much like hearing Weller’s voice come out of his mouth lol. And then aw their suspect is kinda sad that Jane doesn’t remember him, bc he was like an uncle to her? And then omg he says “that summer, in Kalispell, up on Flathead lake” and dude I was literally just there in July??? My friend has friends like an hour from Kalispell and we all went rafting together at Flathead. Yayyy Montana. I love when slightly more obscure places I’ve been get mentioned haha. Jane tries to get him back on track and he just keeps reminiscing. Clearly he knew them when they were pretty young-- he says he did her adoption, so however old they were when Shepherd took them in I guess? Sounds like he wasn’t a huge fan of Shepherd tho which I approve of haha. Too bad he won’t tell them anything about the bomber guy.

Again Patterson and Zapata are having one of their little vibing moments and they realise the suspect must have had a ‘go bag’ somewhere. And Zapata being the kickass FBI and CIA trained badass that she is, realises that it’s hidden in the seat of his car. Lol she even uses the CIA lingo. And then omg Patterson just whips out a butterfly knife from her pocket?? Lord that is so damn cool. I wish I could be cool like her and carry one of those around but alas carrying knives is illegal in my country. Ugh then they find his stuff and high five over it and I just love them so much

Hirst is arguing with some bigwig guy who wants to take away their suspect bc of his other crimes and ugh I could listen to her talk all day. I’m proud of her for saying ‘you all’ and not ‘y’all’ to him haha. Lol Weller tries to tell the dude he can’t take them and errrr Weller I think he’s a little above you on the foodchain, buddy. Anyway Patterson calls them into the lab-- they stuff they found includes a coded ‘black book’ of his transactions. I love that she calls Zapata ‘00Z’ haha. And then they figure out from the cypher thing that the bomber is in Ithaca, bc Patterson is a genius, of course

Uh oh. They’ve arrived at the place in Ithaca and the local fuzz are all over it instead of keeping the perimeter-- they apparently found a bomb which has also supposedly already been disarmed. Well that was quick. Also omg the guy calls Tasha darling and her face is all ‘bitch please’ and Weller shoots her a look like ‘please don’t kill him, please don’t kill him’ lol. And Reade puts a hand out to settle her lol. They get in and it’s a pretty basic bomb, then as the dudes go to lift it Weller realises it’s a decoy and yells for everyone to get out--  and good thing it’s a room with a lot of exits bc Weller and the main cop go through one, Zapata pushes another cop through another, and Reade and Jane go through another. Not sure about the last cop, but he’s probably fine bc ~magic~

Oh now it’s Jane’s turn for the vid. And omg she immediately makes a sex/dirtytalk joke??? Wow girl, you’re really opening up, aren’t you? But ugh she never thought she would have this and she’s so emotional about it and she’s like halfway through a sentence when Weller walks in?? And I know this should be adorable and all but I’m kinda mad about it? Like he already had his chance to share everything he felt without being interrupted, but now whatever she was gonna say is lost bc he felt that he was entitled to butt in?? And then she jokes that he thought she’d run away and he said he’d never let that happen bc he’d ‘never let her out of his sight’ which tbh I do not like??? Firstly it hurts bc she DOES leave, but also it feels kinda weird and possessive and like a ‘you will never be free of me’ kinda thing? Feels more stifling than romantic. But whatevs just gonna let that one slide right on past

Back at the bomb house, Weller is immediately searching for Jane, and belatedly remembering to check on everyone else haha. Zapata emerges, lookin kinda fine with all those soot stains, then a cop stumbles past  and Reade stands up. Assuming the other cop who was saved by Zapata gets out fine, then that just leaves Jane. Who is unmoving on the floor, and ugh Weller’s voice gets all small and wobbly and he’s all ‘no, no’ and goddammit writers can you not? Then she miraculously regains consciousness under his touch and he cups her face in his hands as she tells him she’s okay and then he hugs her to his chest and nope I do not need this in my life please stop

Why do these guys all look so great covered in dirt and soot?? They’re back to the NYO with the news that their bomber guy has a bunch of bomb stuff (surprise!) and is likely planning an attack. They split up and Weller finds Jane in the locker room icing her bruised ribs, and he knows right away that it’s not the injury that’s bothering her-- it’s Roman. Nice hubby senses, Weller. Ooh interesting she says that she doesn't care  about her past bc she finds nothing but pain in it, which makes me feel like this Rossi guy is going to reveal something big and kinda positive to her about her past. And then ugh she says that right now, them, is what she cares about and ughhhh why they gotta be so cute? Tho again I take issue with Weller-- this time with calling her perfect. Jane knows she’s not perfect, so why not say that he loves her as she is, imperfections and all? But whatevs. He promises her a lifetime full of perfect moments though and okay that’s pretty sweet with the heart eyes and the hand kissing and ugh he loves her so much and yet he’s STILL lying about Berlin and I haaaaate it

Oooh we’re back at Roman’s charity event. And ugh Blake is so cute and she’s a good auctioneer and she auctions off a little bracelet and she clearly knows the little girl who made it quite well, and cared about her particularly, I think? And her jokes are so sweet and I love that she gets them to start bidding and then bam here’s ‘Tom’ with a $20,000 bid and says that he ‘likes wishes’ so cutely and omg the way she’s looking at him rn is just so-- Oh no I ship it. Why do I ship this I mean it’s like a terrible idea but wow I do. Oh noooooooooo

Patterson called Zapata to the lab even though their tests re the bomber are still ‘marinating’, because she wants to talk to her about Operation Cuttlefish (aka their investigation into Stuart’s murder) and lol she tries to give a nerdy explanation of cuttlefish’s camouflage ability but Zapata is like ‘good lord just show me’ lol. Turns out a bunch of things have been meddled with and now they both wonder whether there could be another leak in their taskforce. Man, this office is leakier than a damn sieve….

What, Hirst even made a video entry? Really? Ok, I guess. I do love listening to her talk. And lol she says ‘y’all’ this time. Patterson again videobombs with shots and also to inform everyone that she met a guy named Jonathan Walker Blue and that they’re in love and I was literally about to make a comment about how that’s a weird name and that I wanted to hear more about this guy, when I suddenly realised that I’m an idiot and she was referring to Johnnie Walker Blue. The whiskey. Lord that went right over my head the first time haha. Then Hirst goes on to say that they’re an amazing team and even though they’re gonna have hard times, they’ll lean on each other. “To the good times and the bad, may love rule mightily over both” and lbr that’s totally gonna be a theme for the season (and the show as a whole) isn’t it

So they’ve discovered that the bomber is planning to bomb a university in the city within the next hour, and while they were about to waste a lot of time evacuating all the campuses, Patterson discovers that the colours on the materials that the bomber had on his workbench were the same as the colours for the metro university so he must have been making an ID badge for there, giving them their target. And lol Weller is giving all the orders and then is just like ‘okay you heard the boss’ (meaning Reade) and it’s like well I think we all know who is really running the show here…

Aaaaahhh Blake comes to deliver the bracelet personally to Tom bc she has the epic hots for him and omg THIS FLIRTING IS SO FREAKIN SMOOTH I CAN’T. And then she gets all earnest and is trying to ~understand~ him (because she liiiiiiiiiikes him) and ugh they move in closer and there’s more flirting and then he tells her about Tom’s backstory of fighting in Afghanistan and inheriting money from a friend who died and wanting to use it for a good cause and oh god she’s falling like a rock for him and I DIG IT. FOR STUPID MASOCHISTIC REASONS. Seriously gimme more of this, Gero. (Ship name: Take?? Blam?? lol). And then ugh he asks her how the wish bracelet works and then when she explains he ties it on HER wrist and tells her she deserves the wish more than he does and I’m????? So into this???? Which is ridiculous bc it’s all a total lie but damn it’s just so cute and she’s basically swooning and then she offers to buy him a drink and they joke about the open bar and ughhhhhhhhh why. Why must I want this. And then he says he can’t because (sadly) he has a plane to catch and ughhh I’m bummed about it. But then again, the old ‘leave em wanting more’ thing does have merit, so maybe we’ll see…. Oh aaaaand he’s tracking her with a GPS he planted in the bracelet bc the whole thing was a ruse. Of course. Dammit, Roman, why you gotta crush all my dreams

Back at the lab, Patterson realises that Roman gave them the clue to crack the bomber’s manifesto, because all the older manifestos use the same code. Also literally how was anyone meant to crack that code without that very random and specific picture?? But eh. So now they know that the bomb is under the medical building at the university and man that’s just mean. You know how hard it is to evacuate a hospital??? That crap takes forever. But anyway damn Zapata and Reade are looking like a really badass team rn. Zapata gets slammed into the wall by the bomber guy (rude) but Reade shoots him just before he can shoot her. Phew. Unfortunately now this means that Jane and Weller are disarming the bomb on their own….

Lol it’s finally time for drunk!Patterson to get to have her say on the video, and of course she mentions D&D. Apparently Jane is an elf paladin and Weller is a dwarf monk. What’s the bet that Ashley herself chose those characters?  I kinda wanna look up their abilities and characteristics now. And ugh she just loves them and believes they can do anything and she’s just the sweetestttttt

And now Jeller have 80 seconds to disarm the bomb, which has an anti tamper device which requires them to work as a perfect team in order not to set it off haha. Symbolism, symbolism everywhere. Also lol Weller, saying ‘steady’ over and over doesn’t really help buddy. And then they pull each of their wires (as advised by Patterson, bc no one would get through anything without her) at the exact same time, staring at each other as the timer hits zero. Sidenote but anyone here used to watch Castle?? Can’t help but  think of the scene in S3 where Caskett hold hands in front of the bomb and then Castle disarms it by yanking out all the wires. Anyway, different OTP, different time. Then Jane is giving Weller a look and tells him that disarming the bomb with him was kinda hot and he pulls her into his arms and lol they’re getting off on this and Patterson is like ‘Mom! Dad! Stop, I can hear you!’ hahaha. But they don’t care bc they’re already making out haha.

Ooooh the fancy schmancy dude from the other organisation is back to tell them that Rossi escaped from his custody, which they’re all pissed at him for, bc now they have to help fix his screw up. But I only care about Patterson not-very-subtly pulling Zapata away from the bullpen mouthing ‘CUTTLEFISH’ lol. And lolll Zapata's like ‘god I’m the only adult in this place’ haha. Patterson has discovered that the anonymous tip from their last case (the one from Karen about the train crash, I assume, not Rich’s sneaky fake tip lol) was wrongfully marked as low priority on the database-- so someone in the FBI is doing this tampering? Idk I don’t think I’m following along very well lol

Ugh I’m actually mad at Weller for fast forwarding through Patterson’s message on their wedding video??? Like clearly he’s watched it before (probably many times, whilst drunk, and always laughing bitterly at the part where he tells her he won’t let her out of his sight, and ouch I made myself sad) but Jane clearly hasn’t seen it since she asks how long it goes on for. And then they basically ignore the rest of what Patterson’s saying anyway in favour of having a little chit chat. Sigh so rude. It is cute though how Jane is teasing Weller about not ever saying lovely things like in the video. And dude clearly I am wired a little bit oddly but for the split second when he moved fast I almost thought he was going to hit her, which makes no sense at all and once that tiny fraction of a second passed I was like ‘aww he’s playing around with her and being cute and silly, how adorable’ and then I’m sure he was gonna say some more sweet things and then demand apology kisses, but instead suddenly there’s Roman on the screen. And mmmmmm isn’t it symbolic that the two of them, having been all tangled up in each other, suddenly separate when Roman appears?? I see what you did there, Gero. But okay I literally cannot get over Roman’s little decorating effort. Like I know this is supposed to be a grim moment but I am almost wheezing over his lil fairy lights and flowers and handwritten sign?? He could have just appeared in front of a blank wall but nope he is just that Extra. I love him.  Not cool of him to tell Jane she’s broken and tell Weller that their relationship is built on lies, though. But omg he literally toasts them with what I assume is champagne and lol this is hilarious. Err, I mean, it’s terrible, sorry Jeller….

Oooh Zapata wants to hang with Reade for drinks but he tells her he’s already home-- only for her to see him a moment later with fancy schmancy dude from before, and immediately gets all suspicious. My head says we’re supposed to suspect there’s dirty dealings going on but my heart says ‘gay love affair’. Though lbr there could be some dirty dealings involved in that, too lol

A mysterious envelope has been slipped under the Jeller's door. And Jane, seasoned FBI consultant and ninja warrior, just goes right ahead and picks it up with her bare hands. Really? No thought for fingerprints or anthrax or anything? Fine, whatevs. But hold up, it’s from Rossi, about some secret that he thinks she deserves to know.  Weller comes over just as she pulls out some birth records-- and BAM, turns out Rossi organised the adoption not of Remi and Roman, but of Remi’s daughter, 18 years ago. Ohhhhhhh boy. I feel like Gero is actually literally Oprah rn-- you get a daughter! And YOU get a daughter! Daughters for everybody!!!! And as legitimately terrible as this plot decision is, I hate it somewhat less given that Weller’s spawn also exists. I mean, at least instead of just one of them having a child outside the relationship, then now both do, which balances things out a bit? I literally can’t believe I even am in the situation of having to write that sentence but this is where we are now. This is what you did to me, Gero. Ugh.

Well. Interested to see tonight’s ep. Here’s some spoilers you might not have caught yet: Reade’s estranged twin, Duane, comes demanding that Reade donate him his kidney or he’ll die; Zapata falls into a brief coma after a rollerblading accident and awakens only able to speak German; Patterson turns out to be a chihuahua piloting a very convincing android; and Hirst admits that she is actually Canadian and not from the South at all, eh. Can’t wait!

[cookinguptales]

Oh god, I forgot to post the end of year writing meme. So here it is about a week late. I wrote so goddamn much this year. I never expected karabita fandom to just kind of. Happen. haha. It was weird going through my fics and thinking about things like good lines or good summaries. I wonder if anyone who reads the fics remember lines better than I do? It feels weird thinking about someone having a favorite fic of mine or a favorite line from one of my fics or something. After all this time, I still kind of think, like, “well, no one’s really reading/enjoying/remembering what I write” so it’s odd to think of my fics inside someone else’s head. I guess that’s what they’re for, though...

Anyway, my fics this year were full of a lot of ups and downs. If anyone wants to talk about any of them, or you have any questions or anything, it was really fun looking back through them and I’m kind of nostalgic now. lol

(under a cut bc wow this is long)

End-of-Year Writing Meme for 2016.

Stats

Total Word Count: 144,500 on AO3, but probably about 5k more if you count all the fics on Tumblr. I’m…setting aside the nonfiction. So let’s just say 150k.

Total Completed Fics: 44 on AO3, christ

Ship/character/fandom breakdown:

Just going for the ones on AO3 now, so add several more karabita Tumblr fics and and I think some danganronpa, gravity falls, muppets, and maybe SU? I can’t remember all the non-Osomatsu ficlets I wrote this year. On AO3, though, 34 Osomatsu-san fics, all karabita I think. One also contained Ichimatsu/Xmas Couple and Jyushimatsu/Homura. Two fics for Arsenic and Old Lace, both gen. Two Danganronpa fics, Ishimaru/Mondo and Gundham/Sonia. One Gravity Falls fic, Stan-centric gen. One Scooby Doo fic, gen. One Pokemon Go fic, gen. One The Final Girls fic, Vicki/Gertie. Two Muppets fics, both Bunsen/Beaker. Jeez.

Specifics

Best/worst title?

Best… I had a couple I’m fond of. Probably “The Road Not Taken (Again and Again and Again)”, “Six Sips of Strychnine”, or…god, a lot of these are puns. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that some of the pun ones, like “Fowl Play” and “A Ghost of a Chance” and “The Pokemon Trade” are the best and the worst. I’m also not thrilled with “Love’s Carriers”.

Best/worst summary?

Hmm. Frankly, I don’t think I’m very good at summaries. “There is a difference between living and surviving. Karamatsu hovers between the two.” wasn’t too bad. And both “Karamatsu knows that Chibita is drunk, but it's a little hard to take the moral high road with a hand on his dick.” and “Sometimes when two men love each other very much and one man is kidnapped by some aliens and some [censored] [censored] stuff happens, a beautiful miracle is created.” made me laugh. “Sometimes Karamatsu can see the choices he didn’t make, and ones he’s sure he did.” is probably the best, though.

Worst…uh… Most of them… My summaries are so half-assed. Probably either “Chibita loves his new dog, but Karamatsu is hiding something. (Spoilers: NO, he is not a werewolf, he's just allergic to dogs.)” or “‘Write a fic where [Karamatsu] eats a salad’ That's it, that's the fic.”

Best first line?

Errr. I have a few that make me laugh. “For a long time, Karamatsu had labored under the blissful delusion that he was basically a good person.” (All’s Fair In Love and Blow Jobs), “After being attacked by a horde of vampires, being held captive in their den of villainy, and becoming a denizen of the night himself, Karamatsu understandably had to make a few lifestyle changes.” (Developing A Taste), “There were some times, some crimes, that made Velma seriously consider getting a day job.” (Fowl Play). (That one in particular makes me laugh, but I don’t think most people got the allusion.)

I also think a couple set the mood pretty well, like “It all began with Karamatsu kneeling on Chibita's floor, head pressed to wood and his wings folded tight against his back, the perfect picture of submission.” (Feathers and Favors) or “Karamatsu stared dully ahead, not entirely sure whether it was the steam or the alcohol that was making his vision swim.” (The Road Not Taken)

Honestly, I think most of my opening lines are pretty good, or at least serviceable.

Best last line(s)?

I just closed all my fic windows. ;~; Honestly, most of my last lines are more like last paragraphs, and kind of sum up the themes of the fic. They don’t always work well outside of them… But this one is probably the funniest without context.

"She really was nothing but a giant chicken.” (Fowl Play)

General questions

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I wrote far, far more than I expected I would. I wrote almost three times as much this year as I have in all the other years put together on this pseud. (Though actually, I think I did write quite a bit on another pseud last year…?)

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I MEAN I FEEL LIKE KARABITA WAS THE DARK HORSE. I wasn’t even that into it when I started writing it!! I kind of became more comfortable writing the pairing as I went, and now I have a million ideas. I think it really was like 90% the support I got from the fandom that made me keep writing. Uh, that and personal stress. lol

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Uhh. I think Feathers and Favors is the one that meant the most to me, but I think Like Moving Parts is my favorite. It feels homey to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

GOD haha um probably mouth full of roses, eyes full of stars. I never, ever thought that melodramatic fic would be as popular as it’s become. It was such an experiment. I’m still not really sure why it caught on. Love’s Carriers also shocked me. I wrote both of those fics in such a short period, and I was expecting them to go largely unremarked. And then others I thought would go over well and they were basically ignored. so. Fandom is weird.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I REALLY LIKED MY POKEMON AU but I also acknowledge that many of the best parts still remain on my hard drive. God, I need to post the rest of that fic. I guess the Pokemon craze has kind of passed, though…

Life Line, Heart Line wasn’t exactly underappreciated… I was just writing for a fandom of one and I knew it. It wasn’t shocking to me that no one read it, and it was mostly just a short ToT fic so it didn’t sting. (I…learned my lesson about writing really involved fics for minuscule fandoms after I wrote that Sleep No More fic.)

Story that could have been better?

Er… Probably a lot of them, all told. I’m really not very good at writing sex, so probably some of those especially.

Sexiest story?

I…guess probably the sexy rent fic, haha. Though again, I think a lot of the best parts of that are still on my hard drive.

Saddest story?

Errrr… Probably Little Ghost, Little Ghost or the zombie ficlets. Both of them that involve dead halves of my OTP and the other half coping badly, essentially. Or The Devil At The Crossroads, because that one involved suicidal ideation.

Most fun?

Probably the Muppet fics! It’s a fun canon. Or, oh my god, that silly, stupid Scooby Doo fic. I loved it, people loved reading it, it was stupid. It was really fun haha.

Story with single sweetest moment?

Uh.. Frankly, I think I specialize in sweet moments, so this is a bit hard for me. The confession scenes at the ends of Like Moving Parts and Feathers and Favors stand out, but I think most of my readers would pick other moments, lol.

Hardest story to write?

Emotionally, it was Feathers and Favors. I…cried a lot while I wrote that. It touched on some very personal parts of my life. Love’s Carriers probably required the most research. I had to walk to florists haha. The Arsenic and Old Lace fics fought me a lot, largely because of election angst, which is why I ended up writing two. I’m relatively happy with Six Sips, though.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

I had fun with basically every single monster one, hahaha. I have such a type. Paradoxically, I think that Feathers and Favors was also one of the easier ones to write. I wrote so much in such a short period of time, because it just flowed really well. I guess writing it was kind of therapeutic.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Honestly, I think I thought a lot more about gag characters than is really right or proper this year. My perceptions changed a lot, and I came to love both Chibita and Karamatsu even more. (Which…is what happened to me when I wrote Beaker last year…)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Uhh… I mean… I wrote a lot of short, weird little fics this year, but largely in a fandom where I mostly knew I’d have an audience. (But I did worry a lot about alienating said audience, especially after they got used to fluff from me.) The zombie ones were outside of my comfort zone, but everyone was writing zombies so it wasn’t that much of a risk. The Road Not Taken actually was a risk; it was one of my first Osomatsu-san fics and I had no idea how it’d be received.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

I don’t know… I’d like to finish a few of the karabita WIPs I have on my hard drive, but… It does kind of seem like the fandom for the pairing is dying off, doesn’t it? I still have a lot of stories to tell, but maybe soon I’ll have no one to tell them to… So maybe one of my goals should be finding a new fandom, too, huh? I tend to hunker down when I find a pairing I really like, but I often stay long after the audience has moved on, which just leads to frustration. Sometimes I look at the karabita AO3 tag and feel kind of embarrassed because I’ve written such a large percentage of the fics that are there, like maybe I’ve glommed onto something dumb too much? But it’s been one of the few fun things in a terrible year, so oh well, whatever. Still, branching out a bit couldn’t hurt.

I’d also like to write more of my ideas for original fic, though I’ll admit I find that very… large. My origific ideas have a habit of getting away from me, and then they’re too big and I get overwhelmed and set them aside. I should probably give them a chance to grow, though. I have so many f/f ideas, and the world needs more f/f origific.

[fujxnarchive]

Fang and Fujin

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Fuu fell in love with Fang’s dog. Then Fang’s fighting prowess. Then Fang’s personality. It takes a long time though, ok, and it wouldn’t have started without the dog.

How was their first kiss? - A rush. Lips colliding. It was in the heat of a fight and man, was it painful.

Wedding:

Who proposed? -  Fang !! honestly, fuu is the type of person to drag her s/o to the court to sign the papers ok

Who is the best man/men? - seifer

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - raijin

Who did the most planning? - Fang, likely!

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

Sex:

Who is on top? - ……..fang. ;)

Who is the one to instigate things? - ………….fang?

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I mean, they’re both ‘military’, so they’ve got good, uhhh, stamina. yup.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - ;)

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - uhh

How many children will they adopt? - uHHH AS MANY AS FANG WANTS, FUU’S JUST THERE TO ENJOY THE RIDE

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Fuutato !!

Who is the stricter parent? - Probably Fuu! Out of these two, she’s more likely to point out when any of their kids are toeing out of line!

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Fuu really isn’t a helicopter mom, so if anyone will, then it’s probably Fang!

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - They’d probably do it together, as part of their morning routine

Who is the more loved parent? - Fang, only cause she teaches their kids how to properly punch people and hone their weapons :/

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Fang! And she’d probably actually contribute something useful to the meeting

Who cried the most at graduation? - If anyone’s gonna cry, it’s gonna be Fang. Her babies are ready to leave the nest, and that’ll hit her hard, y’know? Fuu will be there to comfort you babe, dw !!

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Fujin. As previously stated, she is the law.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Whoever has the most time between work! They probably trade off who gets to cook, or cook together like one of those obnoxiously domestic scene from movies ok

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - the kid that they hypotheticALLY HAVE

Who does the grocery shopping? - Fuu, only cause she’s so methodical that she’d get the shopping done in like…… 10 minutes.

How often do they bake desserts? - or, they could just….. buy a cake

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat lover, probably haha !!

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Fang, just cause Fuu doesn’t think that such displays of affections have any use. But she’ll appreciate anything that Fang does… probably!

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Fang !!

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - hopefully, neither of them :/ insurance is expensive ok

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Fujin, but she leaves Fang’s weaponry and stuff alone

Who is really against chores? - neitherrrrr ??

Who cleans up after the pets? - Fang !! It’s her dog, Fujin just likes cuddling the pupper

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither !!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - errrr Fujin ?? gotta clean all that dog hair off their furniture yikes

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - do they even have a couch? that’s the real question here

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Both are pretty quick, but if they go in together—well.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Fujin loves the dog more than she loves Fang sometimes. Is that an answer? No?

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Fang would probably put tinsel up, and Fuu would judge from her spot on the floor, petting the doggo.

What are their goals for the relationship? - to get more dogs to create more happy memories for them to cherish

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - hmmm Fujin has low-blood pressure, so it’d be best if she slept in, but she ain’t gonna. So, likely Fang!

Who plays the most pranks? - if Fang’s willing to stand Fuu’s rage…… then sure?