#esht writes fic

[eshtaresht]

be not afraid? what happened to getting loved for the horror of you

something to summarize polygun feels for my psychic blast series

Summary:

When dealing with Vash the Stampede, one must remember about his tendency to bristle with feathers and intrude on the other's mind (accidentally, of course). Normal looking guy? Wrong! Psychic blast

Rated M, 3 works (finished), 13.8k words total

Relationships: Vash the Stampede & Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson

Characters: Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe

Additional Tags: Mild Hurt/Comfort, umm sorta?, Broken Bones, Dubious First Aid, Biting, Mild Blood, Poetry(partially), so like what if wolfwood is fenrir and vash is tyr. what when, but also this is as close as it gets to gay sex, Canon - Manga; Body Horror, Eye Contact, Biblically Accurate Angels (Abrahamic Religions), Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, (of eldrich kind), Crying, hints at future polygun, Mild Gore, (of eldrich sorts), Caves, Shock & Awe, Hugs, Background Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Self-Harm, Blood, ascii art telepathic blast, Canon Disabled Character; Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Intrusive Thoughts, yep this one's heavy, vague trimax spoilers, they are so bad at communicating with words, Past Character Death, woowoo haunts the narrative as one does, Grief/Mourning, implied past queerplatonic polygun, Prose Poem, (partially. in 2nd peson pov), Panic Attacks

[needle-noggins]

Sav's Author Highlight: Eshtaresht

For the entire week of @trigunfanfic appreciation week, I’m going to highlight my favorite authors and friends whose writing I adore and why. Last but certainly not least I want to talk about @eshtaresht's fics!

Esht writes some truly incredible stuff. Body horror like crazy, visceral and raw. Sci-fi weirdness in the same vein as some other authors I've recc'd - if you like Becoming Eden, procrastinatingbookworm's dead dove fics, or Mydetheturk's science fiction, you'll love Esht's stuff! It's imaginative, detailed and vivid, with some really fun fics with fun formatting. And the EMOTION. AUGH. They have written some incredible body horror for BH week.

Featherheavy makes me SCREAM. If you love fucked-up emotionally-convoluted and interdependent Vashmeryl, READ THIS. This fic is catnip to me. It lives in the same corner of my mind that Rainy's I could Drown Myself does, the same corner where I look at Vashmeryl and go "yeah, i need to make them more fucked up. Yeah, Bluebells could always get worse." Holding this fic tightly to my chest. Beloved. It's also part of a series about getting brain-blasted by Vash. I love this concept so much.

applecore: Vash post-canon having weird grief about Knives. You know I love a Vash-is-weird-about-grief fic, and we so rarely see fics exploring how he feels about losing his brother, as strained and complicated their relationship was.

Independent is a delicious dead dove set on the ark, you know, when Knives tries to assault Vash one last time. Knives says "let me merge or i'll kill us both" (you know the tumblr post) and he succeeds. It does not end well for him, however. This fic shrimped me good. The formatting makes this so horribly visceral.

Oh, speaking of Vash grief, read Not About the Couch too.

Esht also writes some Millionsummers, specifically this fic that was written for me (literally this time), and I adore it. I love fucked up Millionsummers, and the song that inspired this fic is just so.... fucked up in a delicious way. Compelling! Heed the tags, though; this is Knives reconnecting Legato to Vash's arm, and the implications are.... hmm. Dead doves.

And if you just want pure sci-fi biological weirdness, we got Boys will be bugs, a fic about Zazie with super fun formatting.

[eshtaresht]

If We Live (M, 18,8k total, 4/7ch)

NEW CHAPTER OF WOOWOO LIVES AU LET'S GOOO and the girls are fightingggg~

Summary:

Just one minor detail could change everything. What if Wolfwood survived and was finally able to share his tomorrows with Vash? But, of course, it took a lot of pain and heartache to get there.

Relationships: Vash the Stampede & Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Characters: Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Livio the Double Fang (Trigun), Razlo the Tri-Punisher of Death (Trigun), Chapel the Evergreen (Trigun), Brad (Trigun), Meryl Stryfe, Milly Thompson, Millions Knives (Trigun), Miss Melanie (Trigun), lots of orphans

Additional tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Gun Violence, Major Character Undeath, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Crying, Panic Attacks, Asexual Vash the Stampede (Trigun), it's not the focus but it is there he's so (gray)aroace your honor, Suicidal Thoughts, Dissociation, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Hopeful Ending, it will get better i promise, Trigun Maximum Spoilers, Latinx Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Trans Nicholas D. Wolfwood, I mean vash is too but it's not mentioned, Nicholas D. Wolfwood Lives, internalized ableism, betaed! we live like wolfwood

[eshtaresht]

Not About the Couch (T, 3k)

new post-canon too-angsty-to-be-called-fluff meryl/milly/vash fic! (also we really need to come up with a proper name for this throuple)

Summary:

“Vash, what’s wrong?” asked Milly, smudged for some reason. “You’re cryin’,” she added helpfully, putting the book away. Oh. That explained the blurriness. _____ or, Vash is chilling on the couch, trying not to think about The Horrors

Relationships: Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson/Vash the Stampede, Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede & Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Characters: Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe

Additional tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, this is both extra soft and gutwrenching, Grief/Mourning, couch jumpscare from the get go, Polyamory, Canon Disabled Character, Crying, Post-Canon, Trigun Maximum Spoilers, Past Character Death, Established Relationship, see also: lesbian-centric semi nonsexual throuple, and they were roomates

[eshtaresht]

Boys will be bugs, right (T, 1.1k)

starting body horrors light with your friendly bug hivemind :3

Summary:

When WE look through OUR TERMINAL, WE see both less and more than through OUR own COMPOUND beads. _____ DAY 1 - Eyes

Characters: Zazie the Beast (Trigun), some local kids

Additional Tags: Body Horror, Alien Biology, Bugs & Insects, Eye Trauma, not super explicit but still, cannibalism mentioned, discussions of eating bugs and bugs eating people, POV First Person Plural, hivemind - Freeform, it's not that much of a horror the vibes are great!, Child Death Mention, being watched

[eshtaresht]

Molten Outlaw (T, 4.8k)

polygun fluffiness!! was concieved for the last day of polygun week, but it took..... more time..... anyways enjoy

Summary:

By the time Meryl had finished, you could scoop him with buckets and bottle up liquid gunslinger for future use. He wasn’t even purring anymore, too goopy to make sounds. _____ or, after a rough couple of days local polycule gets a chance to relax

Relationships: Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson/Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe/Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede

Characters: Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe, Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Additional Tags: Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, Canon Disabled Character, Polyamory, polygun - Freeform, mild cquabbles and tension, vash being a weird bug, Massage, this is mostly 98' flavored, Selective Mutism, Fluff and Humor, Banter, Purring Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Asexual Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Overwhelmed, polygun but I sent wolfwood for cigs so it's mostly girls night, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Kink, kinda? if you squint. it's vash it comes with the package

[eshtaresht]

Help, I'm alive (my heart keeps beating like a hammer) (M, 2k)

love is in the air? wrong! romance as horror

Summary:

And suddenly Meryl knows what is about to happen. Because this is not her nightmare. _____ Day 4 - Heart

Relationships: Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe/Vash the Stampede

Characters: Meryl Stryfe, Milly Thompson, Vash the Stampede (Trigun)

Additional Tags: Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Blood and Violence, Body Horror, set between vol 7 and vol 8, romance as horror, Established Relationship, vashmeryl is mostly implied, Trans Female Character, also mostly implied but it's important to me

[eshtaresht]

How much can you fit under your skin? (E, 1.2k)

do you ever think wolfwood regrets he has nothing to prove the pain was real?

Summary:

Bless the adrenaline high, an idea comes quickly. Wolfwood doesn’t like it one bit. Nope, not one. It’s the only one he’s got, so he reaches for a small knife he keeps hidden under his pants’ fabric. _____ DAY 2 - Skin

Character: Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Additional Tags: Bullet wound, Dubious First Aid, Hurt No Comfort, Blood and Injury, Alcohol, Pre-Canon, wolfwood having a normal one, Regeneration, (gone bad), Angst, Gore, rated e for eughh flesh

[eshtaresht]

Independent (M, 2.7k)

kitten's first dead dove

Summary:

Vash rolls this bit of pondering around, but without much consideration or focus: he followed this line of thought so many times over the last century, the thread of it weaved itself into the background tapestry of his headspace. A much more piercing thought tears through it at the moment. He just wants this to end. _____ or, very bad no good brothers having a normal one

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Category: Gen

Relationships: Millions Knives & Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Millions Knives/Plants/Vash the Stampede (Trigun)

Characters: Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Millions Knives (Trigun), Elendira the Crimsonnail (Trigun), Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Legato Bluesummers

Additional Tags: Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, on page metaphysical sa, Cannibalism, Character Death, ego death, Rebirth, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, I don't even know how to tag this, Suicidal Thoughts, Pyrrhic Victory, so what if these two pulled a paul (tlt reference), copious amounts of space metaphors, biblically accurate sibling behavior

[eshtaresht]

You say this is the love we all hope to find (M, 1.6k)

freaky millionsummers for @eezybree!!! (for secret santa exchange)

Summary:

“It's bleeding,” Legato notes, a little surprised, trying not to let concern slip through. Is this right? Did he do something wrong? Knives looks at him, unblinking. “You are human. You're supposed to bleed.” _____ or, Legato gets a new arm

Relationships: Legato Bluesummers/Millions Knives, Legato Bluesummers & Millions Knives

Characters: Legato Bluesummers, Millions Knives (Trigun)

Additional Tags: Dismemberment, basically this is a vash's hand reattachment fic, barely any romance really legato's just horny for knives and a freak, Medical Experimentation, Blood, Past Sexual Abuse, legato's no good past is mentioned, Devotion, Pain

[eshtaresht]

My arms and legs (they get in the way) (T, 1k)

a lighthearted sibling prank goes poorly (feat. knives being the biggest hypocrite)

Summary:

There is something beautiful about this. About gliding in a whirl of movement, not having to think about where to place his legs and how to move his arms. _____ Day 5 - Limbs

Relationships: Millions Knives & Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Millions Knives & Plants (Trigun)

Characters: Millions Knives (Trigun), Plants (Trigun)

Additional Tags: Body Horror, Character Study, of sorts, mostly me shaking knives in a jar, loosing bodily autonomy, Alien Biology, millions knives? more like millions legs

[eshtaresht]

Inside that cage you call a chest (M, 2.1k)

finally, some yuri! alas, the dove is dead

Summary:

A tightness sits there. Something stops her chest from expanding all the way, threatens to throw her into hyperventilation if she’s not careful. _____ Day 3 - Lungs

Relationships: Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson

Characters: Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe

Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, set between vol 7 and 8 of trimax, so uhh... Bad Times, Body Horror, Blood, Gore, Cannibalism, Established Relationship, sorry fellas no girl on girl cannibalism here, just the uncool kind, Trauma, Crying, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

[eshtaresht]

Featherheavy (M, 4,7k)

post-canon vashmeryl reunion doesn't go well (until it does)

Summary:

“Why did it take so long?” she asks when there is no response. “Where have you been?” “Places…” Meryl wants to choke him. _____ or, Meryl is frustrated and Vash is bad at talking. what does one do in this situation? y'know the drill. PSYCHIC BLAST!!!

Relationships: Meryl Stryfe & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson

Characters: Meryl Stryfe, Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Milly Thompson

Additional tags: Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Intrusive Thoughts, yep this one's heavy, vague trimax spoilers, Crying, they are so bad at communicating with words, Past Character Death, woowoo haunts the narrative as one does, Grief/Mourning, implied past queerplatonic polygun, Prose Poem (partially. in 2nd peson pov), Panic Attacks, Canon - Manga

[eshtaresht]

If We Live (M, 15k total, 3/7ch)

woe! new chapter of my wolfwood lives au

Summary:

Just one minor detail could change everything. What if Wolfwood survived and was finally able to share his tomorrows with Vash? But, of course, it took a lot of pain and heartache to get there.

Relationships: Vash the Stampede & Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Characters: Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Livio the Double Fang (Trigun), Razlo the Tri-Punisher of Death (Trigun), Chapel the Evergreen (Trigun), Brad (Trigun), Meryl Stryfe, Milly Thompson, Millions Knives (Trigun), Miss Melanie (Trigun), lots of orphans

Additional tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Gun Violence, Major Character Undeath, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Crying, Panic Attacks, Asexual Vash the Stampede (Trigun), it's not the focus but it is there he's so (gray)aroace your honor, Suicidal Thoughts, Dissociation, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Hopeful Ending, it will get better i promise, Trigun Maximum Spoilers, Latinx Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Trans Nicholas D. Wolfwood, I mean vash is too but it's not mentioned, Nicholas D. Wolfwood Lives, internalized ableism, betaed! we live like wolfwood

[eshtaresht]

Horrorful (M, 6,5k)

Milly encounters some Vashmade horrors

Summary:

She should’ve turned back then, woken Meryl and Mr. Priest up. But while she stood at the clearing, the red coat tied around her waist, contemplating the possibilities, a new sound reached her ears. _____ or, a brave country girl ventures into a scary cave, faces the horrors... and remains unimpressed

Relationship: Milly Thompson & Vash the Stampede

Characters: Milly Thompson, Vash the Stampede, Meryl Stryfe, Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Additional tags: Body Horror, Eye Contact, Biblically Accurate Angels (Abrahamic Religions), Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown (of eldrich kind), Crying, hints at future polygun, Mild Gore (of eldrich sorts), Caves, Shock & Awe, Hugs, Background Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Self-Harm, Blood, ascii art telepathic blast

[eshtaresht]

figured I'd gather my fics all in one post for fic writer appreciation day

all are trigun and vashwood focused, and there aren't a lot bc I started writing quite recently, but I have so much more wips that cover other character dynamics as well!

Fenrir — a biting fic inspired by norse mythology! first aid gone wrong, wolfwood goes a bit too feral and gets telepathy poetry blasted (my favorite work so far)

Small Red Boy — an experimental angsty short form in second person about the parentification of wolfwood

Heavy weight — first try at fic writing that somehow got the most traction. your typical fluffy one bed trope, but make it queerplatonic. two chapters narrate the same thing through two different povs

If We Live — too angsty to call it a fix-it au where wolfwood lives through just one simple change. it's all butterfly effect from there. this one has spoilers for the whole trimax as it is quite close to the canon! ongoing 2/7 chapters, and I have big plans for this au that might result in a proper longfic one day