#especially since quark still says ''that man loves me'' in the final take. and it's true ! he just desperately wanted odo to admit it

[hooved]

honestly the funniest part about the quodo kiss blooper is that kira had like no reaction to it. it just made so much sense that even she just stood there and watched it happen

[magistralucis]

Moonquake [Snippet]

(Jesus Christ has it been over a year since I last posted any snippet of anything I’m working on??? 😩 Since I’m slowly getting back into my writing, have one from a pet project I began last year. I watched a lot of Tarkovsky last summer and it broke my brain, and what better cure for that than magical realism?

It’s not finished, I work on it tiny bits at a time. It’s a Tillchard. It reflects many real-life events and dynamics, but at the same time, it is so out-of-chronology I’m not sure this matters at all. Also Till might be a bird and Richard a moon wizard. It’s complicated. Have a peek.)

--------------------------------------------------------

"There's a barn burning tonight, down where old man Stefan lives." Till says one cloudy afternoon, and Richard looks up, his hair brushing shadows about his neck. Beneath it an earring glitters. Two mugs of coffee steam quietly on the counter. "You know the field opposite the cemetery gates, the house up that path. They asked if we'd come."

"A barn burning." Richard repeats. Till's gaze is as faraway as his voice. After a moment he stands up, then ties up his hair as he joins Till by the back door. "How's that, then?"

Till shrugs. "It's old. Mouldering. Besides, he's got a bigger one now." Their eyes fall upon the little shed further up the yard: Till's new workshop, humble but lovingly made, their most recent project together. Richard put up the walls, Till put on the roof, and the former had seemed more alive for their labours than he had in a long time. "He must've figured it wasn't worth paying to get it dismantled. And you know you want to keep an eye on anything that burns - maybe have a cookout, too, while everyone's around."

"I do." Then Richard is silent for a long time, thinking. He considers for so long he outlasts the heat of his coffee - as well as Nele's brief visit, bounding into the kitchen and demanding hugs, her hair ribbons coming all loose. It takes some teamwork (and pinky-promises for snacks) for the two men to retie them, after which she runs off again, and by then Richard has made up his mind. "Did you tell him we were coming?"

He hasn't gone out much recently. Till's gaze sparks a little, a revival of hope. "I wanted to leave it to your judgement."

Richard sniffs the air. Sweeter than the usual, and much heavier; it will rain in the night, but no later, when most of the barn will have smouldered down. In the deep snow it's hard to get a fire going at all, whereas in the bone-dry seasons, even a sole stray flame could be a disaster - yes, today's the right time, it'll be a good time. "Then let's all go together. Should we bring anything special, or are meat and drinks fine?"

"Funny you mention that." The spark has becoming a roaring fire, and Till smiles brightly, leaning in to take the other's hand. "Coming from the old man himself, our price of admission is one of your famous cakes... or a six-pack. Whichever's quickest, he said."

"A bag of quark is pretty quick; give me one, two hours."

And so they all go together - including Nele, since the days are still long and light and there will be other children there. Half the village has turned up. People are happy to see them, and especially delighted to see Richard; they all knew he had come back, but not exactly how or why, and the majority haven't even seen him in a long time. Richard takes it well. Till stays close to him all evening, and is glad for the shy happiness in his eyes, fragments of the old Sven he thought he'd lost for good.

Over dessert they finally light up the barn. It goes up in flames politely as only loved worn things do, since it was a damned good barn while it lasted. In the backdrop the village continues to feast: sweetmeats are laid out at table, old man Stefan herds his chickens away, and Nele sits happily over Richard's Käsekuchen and a large glass of milk. A griddle sizzles here, a cheer breaks out there. Above the smoke the night sky glowers vividly, casting a warm glow against friendly faces.

Many of them will not have cause to meet again that year. Gatherings such as these are uncommon these days, and with the recent reunification, they only threaten to grow rarer. With a quiet sigh Richard leans against the fence, contemplating the upturned order of things, when the promised rain comes at last. It falls in a slow mist initially - no different to the smoke above the barn - but then the thick drops come, and it's the tail end of the burning anyway, which wraps the festivities up somewhat. Some make their exit altogether, shouting goodbyes over waved bottles as they leave the gate, and some withdraw indoors with all the drinks and the cooking-things. Soon there is no one left but a select few, smokers mostly, and Till looking for Richard looking for a purpose.

"Scholle? Scholle, shall we go?"

Richard stands before the fence separating barn from field. Gazes. Past the lens of rain the flames lick in strange directions. Twenty-eight steps lie between himself and the fire, twenty-eight days since his revelation, a full moon since his life was inverted in the Schweriner See.

"... Scholle?"

He concentrates, and for the second time ever, he receives a response.

[allyouneedisbuck]

the warmth of your love

summary -> there are more ways to say i love you than just i love you. you and bucky share a few.

words -> 2.2k

warnings -> pining, friends to lovers, back to my fluffy bucky roots, female!reader

notes -> i wrote a harry s. piece similar to this years ago & it’s so interesting to see how my writing has changed since then. based off of this list. items from the list are italicized!

— ➶ —

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

They’re simple words that Bucky has become accustomed to.

Steve Rogers departure has left a hole in the world and a gap in Bucky’s chest that aches. They were best friends, brothers, and Bucky wasn’t sure how to navigate this world without him.

Bucky has grown used to the pity filled eyes of the Avengers, or at least what’s left of them, and the apologetic tone of voice.

The way the words came from your mouth though was different. Your eyes full of kindness and a small smile on your face that offered comfort.

“Th..Thank you.” Bucky says quietly. The two of you have only known each other for a couple years now, but Bucky finds comfort in you more than he does people he’s known since Steve and Sam had saved him. “It means a lot.”

Your hand squeezes his right forearm gently. “If you need anything, I’m here for you.”

He knows the words hold true; That if he called, you’d be over with dinner or movies to help him. It makes Bucky feel warm in a way he hasn’t in almost a century.

“I know.” His left hand covers yours. “I appreciate it.” You both share a smile, small and private, before the moment is over.

“I was in the neighborhood.”

There’s a knock on his door that makes Bucky jump. He’s been working on his reactions, logically he knows not everybody is out to get him, but it’s something ingrained in his mind.

He’s working on being better about it, he is, but it’s almost ten at night and Bucky doesn’t really have many friends left.

His hand wraps around the hilt of his knife as he creeps towards his apartment door. There’s another knock and Bucky moves to look through the peephole.

It’s you. Covered dishes in your hand and scarf wrapped tightly around your neck. Bucky’s lips quark up at the sight, fall was starting and fall in New York was a bitter cold. His hand falls from his knife as he moves to unlock the door.

“What are you doing here?” He asks incredulously as you step inside. Bucky’s eyes find his makeshift bed on the living room floor and he shifts in embarrassment.

You gently place the glass dish on his counter and shrug your coat off. “I was in the neighborhood.” It’s an obvious lie, if the meal for two is anything to go by, but Bucky doesn’t dispute it. “Thought you might be hungry.”

You move around his kitchen like you belong there, pulling out plates and utensils. Bucky watches with his mouth parted in awe. “You didn’t have to-“

“-I wanted to.” You move over, making room for Bucky to stand beside you, and hold out a fork for him. “Now, come on. It’s a new recipe.”

Bucky holds a finger up. “Let me get you a drink. I have some wine.” He shuffles through his cabinets until he comes across a bottle of white wine, a housewarming gift from Sam.

“Now it’s a date.” You giggle and Bucky can feel his cheeks heat, not at the insinuation of it being a date but the fact that he so desperately wishes it was.

“Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

Bucky knows you’re not his girlfriend. It’s a painful observation he makes every time you bring something over or offer to go out. The way your hands brush but never intertwine and how you give him a hug and press a kiss to his cheek instead of his lips.

Bucky knew you weren’t his girlfriend, but he didn’t know you were dating.

“I’m so sorry to bother you,” Your voice is choked up and you struggle to get the words out, “I just, I didn’t know who else to call.”

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Bucky’s mind has slipped into panic mode as he jumps up from his couch. He moves around his apartment, hastily pulling on pants and socks while holding the phone to his ear and listening for any signs of pain. “Where are you?”

You sniffle. “I’m fine! I’m not hurt! Well, not physically anyway. I had a date tonight and he stood me up.” You suck in a deep breath and Bucky freezes.

A date?

“So, my pride is injured.” You joke, but Bucky’s stuck frozen in the middle of his living room with one shoe on and a broken heart.

He knows, okay, he knows you never told him you had feelings for him. That you didn’t owe him anything, but he thought maybe…

“…But physically I’m okay.” You’re still talking and Bucky is only half listening. “Can I come over? I’m, like, five blocks away. Bad Moon bar. I can walk to your place. I just need a friend.”

The word rings in Bucky’s ears, but he forces himself to speak. “Stay there. I’ll come get you.” Bucky moves to pull his second shoe on and pulls on a coat.

He hears your sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. I’ll be outside.” Bucky swallows thickly when you hang the phone up.

“I think you’re beautiful.”

You have another date. This time with a man who asked what your favorite flower is and has decided to take you out to dinner instead of a bar.

Bucky’s chest hurts, but he stays silent. He’s unwilling to break this friendship up by telling you how he feels, especially when it seems clear to him that you do not feel the same way.

“Okay! Okay!” You come barreling down your hallway and into the living room. Bucky looks up from his phone and his mouth almost falls open in shock.

You look lovely in the dress that flows to your feet. It fits around your curves and Bucky can’t stop his eyes from trailing over you in awe.

“Wow.” He murmurs. Your eyes shift and you glance down at your hands fiddling in the front of your stomach. “You look…”

You cut him off before he can get anymore words out, “I look ridiculous! I knew it. I look far too dressed up.” You spin on your heel, but Bucky shoots up to stop you.

“No! You look…” He trails off nervously. Bucky looks at you, really looks at you, someone warm and full of light and understands what this feeling he has around you is. “I think you’re beautiful.”

“Happy Birthday.” & “I made this for you.”

Bucky walks into his apartment and is immediately hit with the smell of vanilla. He can hear your voice, reading ingredients to yourself, from his entryway and smiles to himself.

“I knew there was a reason Sam kept me out all day.” Bucky laughs when you jump and drop the whisk in your hand. “What’re you doing here, sweetheart?”

Your shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. “It’s your birthday!” You smile brightly as Bucky presses a greeting kiss to your cheek.

“I’ve had too many of them, no need to bring attention to it.” Bucky dips a finger in the whipped frosting in your hands and laughs when you smack it away.

“We have to celebrate!” You exclaim with an affronted look. “No ifs ands or buts! Happy birthday, Bucky!”

The bowl of frosting is dropped on the counter as you move to wrap your arms tightly around Bucky’s waist. He settles in your arms as his own come up to wrap around you.

The poems and stories talk about being in the arms of the one you love as rapid heartbeats and butterflies but all Bucky feels is calm. It’s like the worries of his day to day life just slip away when he’s with you.

It’s good, so wonderfully good to have an anchor like that. He didn’t need the butterflies that made him feel sick or the rapid heartbeat that worsened his anxiety. He just needed the warmth.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Bucky presses another kiss to the top of your head. You pull away to look up at him excitedly. “What’s that look for?”

You pull away completely and move around to pull your bag off of one of his kitchen stools. “I made this for you.” Your voice is quiet and nervous as you push a wrapped box towards him.

It’s a small book, one with no title to indicate what’s on the inside, but Bucky can tell it’s something personal from the way you’re rocking back and forth nervously on your feet.

When he opens it to the first page, tears almost spring to his eyes. His lungs burn with effort to not cry as he flips through picture after picture. Him, you and him, him with Sam and Steve and all of you together.

Each photo has a small note next to it too. Hearts and smiley faces decorate the edges. Bucky looks up at you with his mouth open in awe.

“This is… Nobody has ever done something this special for me before.” He admits quietly. “I love it.”

A sigh of relief escapes you as Bucky moves to pull you into his arms again. “Happy Birthday, Buck.” You murmur into his chest.

It’s the best birthday Bucky’s had since he was a child.

“You can tell me anything.”

You’re nervous.

It’s obvious in the way your eyes shift to Bucky before back to the sidewalk in front of you.

Your nervousness is making Bucky nervous. His fingers twitching every so often and he finds himself shifting around as if he expects something to hop out from behind one of the trees.

“Are you okay?” Bucky finally asks when he notices your hands tangled together in front of your stomach. “You’re being fidgety.”

You look up with wide, shocked eyes like you had forgotten Bucky was there entirely, too caught up in your own thoughts. “I’m okay!” You say quickly.

Bucky feels his eyes narrow and he forces you to a stop beside him with a gentle hand on your elbow. “Are you sure?”

“Yep! Just busy overthinking.” You laugh awkwardly as you glance down at the hand still wrapped around your elbow. Bucky drops it quickly, but your hand reaches out to intertwine your fingers with his. “I just… I’ve been wanting to ask you.. No. Tell you something.”

Bucky squeezes your hand gently. “You can tell me anything.” He says quietly. You look at him with wet eyes and Bucky feels himself panic. “No judgement, not from me, not ever.”

“Promise?” You ask quietly. Your voice sounds so unlike you, so nervous and uncomfortable that Bucky isn’t sure what he can do to make it better.

So he nods. “Promise. I’m the last person to judge, sweetheart.”

“I love you.”

It’s right out of those romantic comedies that Bucky pretends to dislike. The way you stand in front of him, wrapped up in a winter coat and scarf, with trembling hands and admit to Bucky how you feel.

“I’ve felt like this for a long time. A really long time now, I don’t think I could even tell you when because it just happened.” You ramble when you’re nervous, a habit Bucky thinks is adorable. “And I knew you were going through a lot, so I never said anything. I love being your friend, I do, but I had to tell you. It’s tearing me up having this secret because I hate secrets.”

Bucky says your name in an attempt to cut you off, but you don’t seem to hear him. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I-“

Your lips press shut when Bucky’s hands come up to cup your cheeks. “Will you shut up for just one second?” He asks sweetly.

You nod with wide eyes. “I feel warm around you,” Bucky starts off, “I don’t feel butterflies or sweaty palms. I used too, sometimes when you look at me a certain way I still do, but most of the time I just feel warm. I… I feel like I can breathe again. I feel calm. You make me calm.”

“What?” You ask softly. It’s obvious you’re trying to not get your hopes up as Bucky talks.

“I love you too.” Bucky says clearly. Your hand comes up to rest over his on your cheek as you press into the pressure. “You make it easy for me to breathe again.”

Bucky feels the sigh of relief you let out. “You make it easy for me too.” You say quietly, your tone much lighter than before.

“Can I kiss you?”

When you nod, Bucky can feel his entire face brighten. He’s sure there’s a nervous blush there as you tilt your head up towards him and leans to meet you halfway.

It’s just as warm as you are, the way you kiss. Slow and pushing all of your emotions into it. Your lips are cold, but Bucky’s sure his are too.

It’s everything he’s wanted with you. Despite the snowflakes beginning to fall around you and the wind nipping at his skin, all Bucky feels is warmth.

Bonus -> “Can I have this dance?”

A winter wedding seemed fitting when you had suggested it. Something small, intimate and warm. Just a few of your closest friends and family to bear witness.

You’ve been wandering around the venue for the past hour, saying hi to family and catching up with people you’ve been too busy to hang out with the past couple of months. Bucky’s sick of not having you by his side.

His arm wraps your waist from behind and he presses a kiss to your cheek, immediately cutting off what you were saying to Pepper.

A slow song starts, Bucky won’t admit until later that he told the DJ to start it once Bucky reached your side.

“Mrs. Barnes, can I have this dance?”

— ➶ —

me: has ten pieces in the drafts that need to be worked on

also me: just writes this fluffy disaster

[minecraftoworymode]

local admin discovers this CRAZY life hack, other admins HATE him! click to find out more -->

no but seriously what the hell kind of drama is bad enough that you kill one of your best friends and torture the other for an unspecified but presumably quite lengthy amount of time? did fred start kinning one of romeo’s ‘no doubles’ IDs? did they accuse romeo of being a homestuck and, having no way to deny the truth, he killed them in a blind panic? they didn’t play romeo’s nine-hour oblivion mod and he took this as a supreme betrayal? romeo wouldn’t get off the xbox when it was xara’s turn? what led to them fighting “for control of the world”?

i mean, given how much romeo wants friends you’d think that for him to consciously yeet the only ones he had there’d have to be a really good reason for it, right? right??

[well, at least it’s free real estate. everything in this post is headcanon territory, so to save both of us the trouble of having to read “i think” or “probably” or “evidence suggests” every two sentences i’ll be speaking as if this actually happened. but if anyone else has an idea of what the heck happened, i’d love to hear others’ takes!!!]

big Fs in the chat tonight, pals. for all that he wants people to like him, romeo is really, really, REALLY bad at going about it like a normal person. (ESPECIALLY in canon. like. frankly it’s almost to the point of seeming intentional because NO ONE can be that dense about being such an absolute and utter scoundrel. who does things that actively malicious without being aware of how hurtful it is? even capitalists generally know they’re being bastards. canon, man. i dont know.)

but- he wasn’t always quite that bad at it. it’s just that once you’ve tripped and spilled paint all over your canvas, and also you have god powers that give you infinite copies of other peoples’ paintings, it’s a lot easier to plug your ears chuck the canvas in the trash and go LA LA LA, MUST’VE BEEN THE PAINT’S FAULT instead of admitting you made a mistake, cleaning up the mess you made, and trying again.

the admins’ friendship was the canvas. here is the paint.

romeo really wants people to be his friends, and he couldn’t have had better ones than fred and xara. and honestly? he was perfectly fine with leaving behind everything and everyone else he’d ever known- all he needed were the other admins, no one and nothing else. dependency whoms’t? but for fred and xara, whose stances on relationships were , just a bit healthier than that- as much as they loved romeo- they missed the people they’d left behind.

romeo had invited them here- first xara, then fred- and while he’d of course agreed to let them go back whenever they asked they’ve- like, the idea hasn’t really seriously come up in... it’s been a very long while. i’m still working on the exact timeline here but it’s been- he’d almost completely forgotten about it, actually. they, on the other hand... hadn’t. 

it’s like a freaking 2x combo double whopper whammy of being abandoned and also not being “enough” that hits romeo right in the heart nuts. but hey! necessity (or what he thought necessity) is the mother of invention, and for all that he thinks himself stupid he figured out a solution- more than a solution, even! he could do them one better than bringing them the people they missed. he would bring them the people they wanted.

the custom npcs mod allows you to create, well, npcs. it allows you to set their schedules, dialogue, stats, appearance, etc. and you do most of it by right-clicking with a hoe which i find hilarious but ANYWAY romeo came up with something similar. at first, his constructs were... not very convincing, but a little help from a bright-eyed friend made them almost indistinguishable from real people. (herobrine is another post, but for the record this isn’t even the biggest crap he’s pulled.)

he was so excited, presenting his gift to fred and xara. look, i was thinking- you said you missed that one roommate, right, even though they always left the door open and didn’t put food away? ta-dah! look at that, closing the door like a gentleman! and you were missing your counsellor, right? well, miss no more! they’re programmed to always be there for you- you never have to worry about scheduling or other patients, here’s someone who will always care! and that’s not all- if you’ve been having trouble with any of your moderators- or even the normal humans, those are fun too sometimes- this lets you change their mind! literally! no more arguing about what colour to make the new concrete blocks, no more fighting over who gets the first seat in the rollercoaster, you’ll never have to deal with any of that ever again-! ... hey, why aren’t you- why do you- why are you looking at me like that? xara? ... fred?

yeah, it... doesnt go over too well. the tool ends up broken, and romeo promises to not use it again- though only because it upset fred and xara, not because he really saw anything wrong with it. and he keeps that promise for a time. of course the paint can is already leaking, but romeo doesn’t see that yet. none of them really see what’s coming, not fully. how could they? no one wants to think the worst of the ones they love.

but they’re all understandably... tense, and romeo always tended to look to people to vent his emotions, and- the person who would come to be the warden  has a huge fight with romeo, right in front of fred and xara’s salad. like. it’s really bad. they’re both on the verge of tears and the warden SLAMS the door as he leaves, which does make romeo cry. and the other two are like... hey... do you want anything... some cake...? prog rock...? we can cuddle...? n romeo’s usually already invited himself to one or more of those things by now but instead of throwing himself into their arms and wailing he’s just, standing there silently, tears streaming down his face, looking of all things pensive. and next in the series of many shocking things to come, he does something he’s never done before: he brightens and says, “i’m going to fix this,” before resolutely walking out the door.

fred and xara are like. oh my god. is- is he actually going to talk out his feelings and problems? is this- is healthy open communication here? did we do it? have we reached the mental wellness? is it finally happening? n romeo comes back a few hours later with his arm around the warden’s shoulders and they're both smiling and laughing and it sounds like everything's worked out just fine. in fact, after that, a bunch of people who’d had beef with romeo in the past seem to work things out with him, all parties seeming genuinely happier for it. romeo’s made a real change! fred and xara have never been more proud, more relieved, or more wrong.

he can’t lie to his friends. he can lie to everyone else, up to and including himself, but not to the ones he loves. it’s just... they’d been so happy, and he’d never seen anyone that proud of him, and, and...

that doesn’t go over too well either. and he should really make the tool out of something other than like, wood, so it stops getting broken so easily? he certainly has time to do so- the silence that follows is the longest the admins have ever gone without talking to one another. in retrospect they probably should’ve known that things were only going to get worse from there, but could you blame fred and xara for hoping beyond hope that- since they were always the ones to drag romeo out of his sulking and brooding- him coming to them first was a sign that he’d changed, for real this time? and the way he starts the conversation- by saying how the admins’ absence has impacted the people in their care- it’s certainly promising.

but- ah, what’s that line? something like,

"Oft expectation fails, and most oft there Where most it promises; and oft it hits Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits."

there are very, very few things that make fred visibly angry. not that things don’t ever make them mad, it’s just that their dedication to living their best life means that they’re generally able to keep a firm grip on how they express their emotions. but for romeo to brainwash- no, worse than brainwash- they don’t even have a word for it- fred’s own people? they’re called their friends for a reason! it doesn’t MATTER that he thought it’d make fred happy- did he think, for even a moment, about listening to what they’d said? does he not realize how absolutely vile it was to do that? the others are real people, too! all of them, not just the ones he considers his friends- do you even understand what that word means, romeo? "friend"?

what really burns is that fred isn’t just angry- they’re disappointed. they’re scared. they’re just as hurt as he is, which is just- how DARE they?! ROMEO’S the one who’s being yelled at! why are THEY crying?! (they’re all in tears now, actually, but romeo doesn’t notice his own.)

a deep breath. fred asks him to undo what he’s done. romeo doesn’t move.

a tense heartbeat. fred asks again, and takes a step forward. this time romeo flinches back.

there’s not a single quark between the three of them right now not on edge. it feels like the air before a lightning strike. something’s going to break. none of them are backing down. maybe none of them can because, if romeo’s not going to do it himself- fred takes a final step forward and asks, remarkably calmly, for romeo to give them the tool.

and then he does! and they apologize to each other for not having been more open about their feelings and defining and maintaining their boundaries and then they make up and have a really good hug and it’s great, everything’s great, and this is probably the mental image romeo tried to fall asleep to before realizing that that wouldn’t stop the nightmares and just giving up on the whole “resting” thing. 

if you’re beginning to notice a pattern here with things really not going well, you might just be onto something about romeo’s behaviour. but to be fair none of them had gone into this situation expecting a fight- it was just, fred tried to take the tool and romeo instinctively pulled his weapon and- none of them realized quite how long fred had been losing blood? romeo had been lashing out, fred had been trying to take something he was holding while also trying to defend themself, xara had been trying to protect fred (and was also lashing out too, just a little)- i mean, they realized. eventually. and by that point honestly accidentally stabbing them wasn’t going to do anything the life force loss hadn’t, so like... 

okay, brief side note: as operator, romeo’s existence maintains the mcsm universe. he can’t die, even if he wants to. xara and fred had the next best deal (arguably anyway), in that they could only be truly hurt by one thing: the person who’d given them administrative powers in the first place. which happened to be the same person who’d, like, just stabbed his best friend and was now staring in open horror as said friend’s skin flickered back to its original appearance before-

just like that they were gone. just like that. the lack of body and inventory really should’ve tipped them off that something wasn’t right, but for all that they both replay that moment in their minds for years to come they somehow never consider that fred wasn’t quite dead. and romeo had always had such an imagination! but maybe it was for the best that they didn’t consider it, anyway. ... maybe it was for the best.

it doesn’t have to almost kill xara for romeo to take her powers, but it does anyway because if romeo made a lot of stupid decisions before that’s just gotten amped up to eleven now that 90% of his impulse control is gone.

oh.

oh no.!!

romeo watch out almost a millennium of unprocessed trauma and grief is sneaking up on you- romeo- oh my god he can’t hear us he has minecraft airpods in- romeo oh nO

anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk! tune in next time to hear about the fallout of romeo’s actions across multiple worlds and the group of dissidents whose entire existence is to, well, diss romeo, aka soren’s cult. in conclusion:

[tessatechaitea]

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S1, E4: "The Last Outpost"

"She begrudged her lover nothing and now, finally, it was time to offer him The Last Outpost." For some reason that would be inexplicable if you were living in the actual world of Star Trek: The Next Generation but is entirely understandable when you view it through the lens of a story written by humans about humans, every single Godlike creature in the universe seems to put humans to the test to find out if they're heedless barbarians who care for nothing but their own enrichment. It's one of the reasons I'd rather view Q as tormenting the Enterprise not because he's testing humans but because he loves Jean-Luc (there's additional proof of this in the episode "Hide and Q" when we see Q seems to be acting against the general Q Continuum consensus). I'd rather he be a romantic interest and not just another smart ass alien testing the humans to make sure they're allowed in space. But maybe humans bring it on themselves. It is possible that humans are the most arrogant race (species?) in the entire universe. One species (race?) has to be; why not humans? And every other alien race that has come into contact with other races always discuss how terribly arrogant and ambitious those humans are, with their weird emotions and concept of "love". And since humans write these stories, seemingly with the assumption that humans are somehow unique and special, the "humans must prove themselves" becomes an easy trope to slip into any plot. But before the test begins, this episode starts by introducing audiences to the Ferengi, the boot sale merchants of the universe. They're played as if the sellers at your local dirt mall inexplicably developed the technologies for space travel and teleportation and instantly launched into space to find deals and cheat people. Data explains that their entire cultural belief system is built on the motto, "Caveat Emptor." As a space faring race which interacts with other races, I can see the appeal of introducing this kind of alien characterization. Little House on the Prarie and Grizzly Adams and even Anne with an E relied on the plot of the traveling salesman character. But imagine the Ferengi homeworld before they ever left the atmosphere! Nobody trusting anybody else while everybody trying to profit over everybody else! What a terrible bunch of Boomer pricks! I wonder if there's a whole offshoot of Ferengi flower children and democratic socialists who fucking despise the way the rest of the universe views them? I suppose if there is, I'll see evidence of it in Deep Space Nine when I get around to it. I bet Quark has some family members who are all, "Ugh! Dad is such a capitalist asshat!" Seeing the Ferengi in this episode made me want to dress up as a Ferengi every Halloween for the rest of my life. Not because I love the way they look but I fucking fell in love with how they hopped around like children who just sucked down two pounds of pure cane sugar. I suppose they were supposed to look like monkeys in the zoo, incapable of standing still. But I fucking loved their fidgeting and bouncing around. Why did they drop that aspect of the character?! It's fucking endearing! I wonder what would happen to the Ferengi race if somebody sold them a cargo hold full of fidget spinners? This is yet another episode that culminates in a terrible anti-climax. The Enterprise and the Ferengi ship are locked in a force field around a planet of a long dead space empire. The crew of the Enterprise agree to work with the Ferengi to search the planet while the Ferengi cross their fingers behind their backs and plan on acting as despicable as possible. On the planet (after some minor skirmishes between the two crews), a man named Portal puts them to the test to find out if they're worthy of existing in the universe. Why does he get to decide? I don't know! I guess because he's so fucking powerful. The anti-climax comes because Portal doesn't put them through any trials or rigorous intellectual tests. He just accidentally quotes Sun Tzu and Riker is all, "I know the response to that quote! Boom! I'm interesting, right?!" And Portal is all, "You amuse me. You shall live." Aside: the man who plays Portal also played Mimo on Villa Alegre. While the Ferengi insist that the humans are liars and jerks while taking no responsibility for their own actions, Riker quotes some Sun Tzu because every nerd in the world knows that philosophical thought about strategy and diplomacy has never outdone The Art of War. Portal is suitably impressed like any space nerd would be. He not only decides to spare the humans but becomes best friends with Riker. Only a human mind could be so unique and interesting to a creature of such knowledge and power! We're so awesome! Everybody in space should embrace our quirky ways! Even though the Ferengi behave abominably, Portal lets them live because Riker points out that they'll never learn any other way. Also, I think he just thinks of them as gnats. People might be annoyed by gnats but you don't turn the full force of your intellect and emotional fury on the entirety of their species just because they're bothering you. You swat at a few of them, curse a bit, and then fucking forget all about them. I think every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation has a moral but sometimes I can't be bothered to understand it. Especially when I'm several episodes ahead of the one I'm currently writing about. They all kind of get jumbled together. This one probably has something to do with keeping an open mind and not judging too swiftly. I only say that because I think that was the moral of the Farpoint episode and maybe the moral of all the episodes I've written about so far. And what better way to get that moral across than by making the Ferengi as obviously underhanded and treacherous as possible? Maybe they shouldn't have made them so childlike and lovable as well though. Perhaps that's why they stopped making them all bouncy and fidgety. Because it was too adorable. I would have kept that aspect of them but also made them constantly hold open switchblades. Aside: Armin Shimerman who also plays Buffy's high school principle portrays the Ferengi Letek. Oh, he's also Quark in Deep Space Nine. And he's the face of the wedding gift box in Haven. Also he's the voice of Andrew Ryan from the Bioshock games (get it? "Andrew Ryan"? Ayn Rand? It's such a good game about objectivism!). It's possible part of my problem with this show (at least so far) is the pacing of the plot in regards to the theme. I suppose, taken as a whole and being charitable, what happens in many ST:TNG episodes is that the initial introductory story usually isn't the real story and often either gets ignored or is resolved in a boring or anti-climactic way (because it wasn't the meat of the theme and didn't really matter. Like the virus in "The Naked Now"). In this one, the introductory story is that the Ferengi have stolen something from the Federation. The Enterprise is tasked with getting it back. Which they do at some point but that story doesn't matter by the time they're trapped in the forcefield. It's like that thing that famous guy said which I think I mentioned in a previous review (unless it was in a comic book review) about how life happens when you're planning on some other kind of life. Star Trek: The Next Generation made a career out of it. Some people refer to these things as the "A" and "B" plot. But I don't think ST:TNG gives enough time to the initial plot to even consider it a parallel story line to the main plot. Maybe the writers get better at this as the show progresses. But even if they don't, it's not that big a deal. I get it! You need to have the crew doing something when the major shit hits the fan. And that shit doesn't have to come out of the first thing they were doing at all, although it would be nice if, just sometimes, it did. Like maybe Wesley Crusher is studying for exams and he has the replicator make him a copy of the Necronomicon after which he unleashes Hell aboard the Enterprise. Then at the end, he fails his test because, you know, it was about engineering and not raising the dead.