#especially when one of your mods straight up bullies people and there's hard evidence on that

[heretic-saint-taliesin]

the three houses zine scene on twitter genuinely is upsetting sometimes. 

[funkymbtifiction]

i just want to add to what you’ve said in the past about entps being prone to being taken advantage of. it’s definitely a thing, and some of it is hubris.

for almost a year, i gave a “friend” the benefit of the doubt even when i was never given the same consideration. i changed various behaviors to keep their friendship, to avoid hurting their feelings, and to maintain peace. i stuck around even when they straight up disappeared on me (once when i was even in the hospital). i listened to them talk shit about our mutual friends and wax constant negativity, often turning on me if i didn’t mimic their opinions or “validate” their feelings. meanwhile they dismissed my experiences/feelings (on the rare occasion i tried to share them) and openly mocked an issue that was very distressful for me. It’s not easy for me to be vulnerable, so having someone respond with 0 empathy and use this *against* me was honestly one of the most painful, shocking experiences I’ve ever had. Especially when I went out of my way to demonstrate my consideration of them, even if it meant throwing myself under the bus.

it 100% fucked me up. i really started to think that i didn’t deserve their attention, wasn’t interesting or important enough to have reassurance, and instead of ditching this “friend” i just kept giving them chances. maybe they’re depressed? anxious? going through a hard time? it’s covid so that could be it? maybe i am really shitty and don’t even realize it? am i the toxic person? when i said i understood did that come off sarcastic?

im an optimistic person by nature, but the constant, endless bitterness this person maintained against people they supposedly cared about really made it difficult to even function on a day to day basis. I had constant anxiety. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning bc I was afraid of whatever issue or bad mood I was going to be responsible for that day. I was always trying to handle issues they were causing with other people and talking them down from hateful rants.

Turns out the whole issue was jealousy. We shared a friend and they were possessive of the friend, even though I’d been friends with said person over a decade and they’d only met that year.

Funny thing is, I considered this possibility early on because there were several red flags. I had suspicions that there was something off in how she treated me because the friendship never seemed mutual, but I didn’t want to believe it. I really didn’t. So I kept coming up with other possibilities and dismissing the negative ones, telling myself this person has to care a LITTLE. I told myself that jumping to any conclusion was unfair since I had no evidence. I’m not the type to trust in “gut feelings” so it was easy for me to ignore the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I rationalized it away and got myself lost in a rabbit hole so deep that I ended up doorslamming because i couldn’t fucking handle it. And I NEVER doorslam. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

So while ne/fe can be a good combination, if you let someone in who is willing to treat you badly (and start looping because of it), getting that fucker out is a nightmare. Im so much happier than I have been and I’m finally feeling like myself again, after months of walking on eggshells and minding my behavior, speech, and conduct for the sheer purpose of their feelings in spite of my own. I NATURALLY dismiss my own feelings constantly in favor of the collective or because I don’t find them worthwhile, but I quickly realized that having a *friend* constantly do this to me utterly destroyed my sense of self. I didn’t feel like I mattered or could speak or be direct without repercussions or consequences. I couldn’t be sincere or have any needs.

I never thought of myself as someone who could be emotionally bulldozed or bullied, but it fucking happened. And I’m mad about it. I overestimated my fe and thought that I could handle the situation and turn it around if I did all the right things. I 100% could not.

So ENTPs, listen to your instincts if that nagging feeling doesn’t go away.

Mod: Also valid for ENFPs. Stupid Ne-dom idealism = too many chances. ;)

[armsinthewronghands]

Complete Text of the ‘Destroy’ Post

Screenshot of this is often trotted out as “evidence” I have a secret harassment group.

..also note anyone named in the comments should be able to confirm to the public the transcripts match the private post and anyone can ask to be added to the circles and read the originals.

Zak Sabbath Shared privately Aug 10, 2014  Destroy. Gender-inclusive language in D&D 5e raises roleplaying questions Gender-inclusive language in D&D 5e raises roleplaying questions metafilter.com 5 plus ones 5 38 comments 38 no shares Shared privately•View activity Hide 32 comments Onno Tasler's profile photo Onno Tasler +2 If that "evil consultant" campaign is going on much longer I'll buy a version of D&D 5 just to spite those responsible. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +12 Buy Red & Pleasant Land--it'll be out soon, and I get a cut. Aug 10, 2014 Kasimir Urbanski's profile photo Kasimir Urbanski +2 You may want to consider Arrows of Indra, it's a great old-school game set in a carefully-researched interpretation of the Epic India of the Mahabharata. It's also transgender-inclusive. Hide this comment Aug 10, 2014 Kasimir Urbanski's profile photo Kasimir Urbanski +5 Yes you can! There are Vimana in the magic items section. One thing to note is that there are different ages, with vast periods of time between them, in the Mythic India chronology.  The Mahabharata is taking place in the last part of the Epic age, you could say.  As time goes by, the gods end up being less and less direct in their actions in the world, and magic becomes more and more rare.

In the time of the Avatara Shiva, there were entire flying cities ruled by demon lords.  Supernatural beings were everywhere and humans were largely subject to their whims; magic was almost ubiquitous. In the time of the Avatara Rama, much later, there were still some demon kingdoms but no more flying cities (Shiva shot them all to hell, sometimes literally), but Epic Superweapons and flying chariots were still what you could call semi-rare at least.  Some humans might live out their lives without encountering a supernatural being, if they lived in the core areas of the human kingdoms; magic was still very common but not on the same grandiose scale. The "present" of the Arrows of Indra setting is even far later than that, when the Avatara Krishna is just starting out, and it's mortal heroes more than immortal gods and monsters that are the chief movers and shakers of the world. Kingdoms, good, bad, corrupt, noble and everything in between are ruled mainly by men.  Kingdoms of monsters and demons and monkey-people and gold-skinned dwarves still exist only in very remote borderlands (that really only adventurers would be likely to get to).  Magic was used by wizards and holy men but only the very greatest heroes could hope (after a long career, great deeds, and shitloads of XP) to obtain a truly epic Celestial Weapon or gain some amazing artifact.

So yeah, the setting has vimana, but you have to work for it.

That's why I chose this era, besides the fact that you have the ruins of the earlier eras scattered around in the wilderlands of the setting, it's also this era that most suits the whole zero-to-hero path of the D&D system. Hide this comment Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis +2 "Until they show a connection to FATAL or Racial Holy War it's not the darkest parts of the RPG community." posted by squinty at 11:48 PM on August 9

and so on.  This seems like a pretty reasonable group of people responding reasonably.  They sniff out bullshit, request evidence, and the entire tone is without excess bile. Aug 10, 2014 Richard G's profile photo Richard G "and then you dig a bit and it's vapour"

The fundamental problem here as I see it is that many commenters seem to have free-floating opinion receptors, ready to grab onto any opinion that floats by and repeat it, regardless of any actual information that also floats by.

The information is less digestible. You have to read and understand it. The opinions, OTOH, are made of nothing but hooks. Aug 10, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S +2 I flagged it. It's a stupid post for MetaFilter. People in the comments seem to be pointing out as much. You could try and email the mods yourself, since it effects you. I posted some links as well, but it seems like other people have done that already. Aug 10, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S And yeah, in general I think MetaFilter is less likely to fall for straight up horse shit. Aug 10, 2014 Greg Backus's profile photo Greg Backus I can work on this one too cuz them's my digs Aug 10, 2014 Wayne Rossi's profile photo Wayne Rossi I did several D&D posts on Metafilter and am already in that thread. It's a community I've been a part of for a decade. At most 1 person seems to be buying the Fail Forward bs on the comments. Aug 10, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Weird there are so many MeFi users here. (I am chunking express.) Aug 10, 2014 Greg Backus's profile photo Greg Backus <- Golem XIV Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis man, this is an entertaining read the more it goes on. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +1 it doesn't entertain me. Someone should link to this: https://www.seebs.net/log/articles/791/ it's a new article by Seebs explaining EXACTLY where all this bs originated Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis i mean only this specific thread you've linked above because it's like 80% people being responsible and asking for proof and facts instead of opinions. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath yeahNo, Not entertained. Not at all. Don't see why people are even spending a second putting up with the bullshit claims there. Aug 10, 2014 Anthony Holtberg's profile photo Anthony Holtberg Hm. All I see is a person who is vocal being bullied on the basis that some people don't like him and don't think anyone else should.

Dragging it into the professional arena is where this all goes awry. I'm terribly sorry this had to happen, +Zak Smith, especially at a time when things are hard enough.

I've had much the same done to me, and I do sympathize. People who work to do things a different way that makes them happy make others uncomfortable. 'Burn the heretic' and all that.

Again, I'm just sorry this sort of thing goes on. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath The shit being posted now is PURE didn't read the links . I didn't call out the James De people because they said he said "rape is awesome" I called them out because they said he threatened to rap ehis critics that's in links posted right there. And someone ask Shawn struck why I;m not in jail Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis yeah it's gotten totally bullshit as the day has gone on. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath OH MY GOD IT'S STILl GOING ON. And Vecna is posting a bunch of debunked stuff. Aug 11, 2014 Wayne Rossi's profile photo Wayne Rossi +Zak Smith Metafilter threads stay open for a month and generally taper off after a day or two. Not sure what the deal is with this Vecna (not a real Metafilter user) or the "Dongion". Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Yeah they joined yesterday, so probably someone emotionally invested enough in calling you a terrible person to spend $5 on the endeavour.  Aug 11, 2014 Kasimir Urbanski This comment is hidden because you've blocked the commenter. View the comment Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis jesus fuck that guy has a hateboner the size of Albany at this point. Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S If it makes you feel any better people seem to be realizing this is mostly just axe grinding drama. Though the post is still up. I guess it didn't get enough flags. I still think you should email the mods. Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +Ramanan S Me? Aren't I like the very last person they'd listen to? If not, d;you have the email address? Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S +Zak Smith They might listen if you don't call them morons! I know you can do it if you try. I think it's worth a shot. I mean, the thread itself has links debunking that particular article.

You can use the contact form here: https://www.metafilter.com/contact/

(FYI: If it's deleted it'll still exist as a thread, but it wont't be indexed by google anymore and it's not linked from the site anymore. Like so: https://www.metafilter.com/88123/Get-motivated-by-every-movie) Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath last time i called someone a moron for RTing that it worked. However--invective-free email sent. Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S God speed! Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath in reverse order:

Oh, the whole thread? No, that's not something we're going to do, sorry.

On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 2:32 PM, zak smith I'm sorry, a member told me different.

(And people have already posted that link, which I can only assume you didn't read because it's long.)

The member said:

" FYI: If it's deleted it'll still exist as a thread, but it wont't be indexed by google anymore and it's not linked from the site anymore. Like so: https://www.metafilter.com/88123/Get-motivated-by-every-movie) " I don't know your policy. all I know is right now you're hosting something that is….

…well if I was running a site I'd be troubled by hosting it.

If you check the link I sent you might get a glimpse of the scale of how messed up it is and on how many counts. But I'm not the boss of you.

-zak

Date: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:28:40 -0700 Subject: Re: [MeFi Contact] The D&D Gender article

Hey there, you're welcome to make an account and link that post in the thread for discussion - we don't change or delete links after the fact (the discussion is about the link, so removing the link just confuses everyone.)

On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 2:24 PM,

Hi, this is Zak S. A member suggested I contact you about this article: http://www.metafilter.com/141806/Gender-inclusive-language-in-DandD-5e-raises-roleplaying-questions Basically, the first link there is a libelous unsourced hatchet job by a bunch of Something Awful trolls with a grudge. It's been so thoroughly debunked that even the people defending it at the bottom of the page have moved the goalposts from "Zak is a transphobic gatekeeper" to "Zak has fights with people online and that's unprofessional".

This has links to EXTENSIVE documentation of all the mistakes and inaccuracies in the article: http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2014/08/how-dungeons-and-dragons-is-totally-not.html

I suggest you take it down.

-Zak Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Ah that sucks. At least you have more examples of random peoples calling this out as dumb, but I guess that doesn't actually make you feel better. Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S HELLO VECNA!

https://www.metafilter.com/141806/Gender-inclusive-language-in-DandD-5e-raises-roleplaying-questions#5679845 Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath Jay Vee is likely Vecna. Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis Jay Vee is definitely Vecna.

he just posted those same pictures at me. Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +1 i'm really glad whoever is spying on me and taking these snapshots did it--since it proves my innocence Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Yeah, just searching for those links only turns up posts from him. Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis and he just tagged me into some bullshit elsewhere trying to quote me out of context within this thread.

reported, blocked. Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis oh, and it's https://plus.google.com/u/0/114989648662861338239/posts/5cqVsfEhwTn