#especially with it being such a dramatic move to bring back yoshiki from suicidal ideation and his giving up on teaching a monster

[guideaus]

so in recent hgsn chapters, we've got 'hikaru' acting real unusual, more than normal. the first time it happens is a bit after hikaru pulls out "half his insides", the 2nd is a more drastic version, hikaru does his eye thing (whether its mentally or physically) in the same way he previously did to asako where he admits he thought he should kill her, the only difference is his eyes beforehand. the third time happens again very soon after the second, hikaru now seemingly completely different. we'd probably guess he's not in control, but i want to say he doesnt even remember these events.

so first off im gonna talk abt hikaru lying. obviously, we've got 'hikaru' being introduced lying about his identity, the entire 1st vol revolves around the revelation and how both boys react to it. hikaru tries his best to act as hikaru and is very upset when he's found out. they get over it and yoshiki is now in on the secret,

our 6th month old ghost-god-boy's got terrible social skills for certain situations, dismissing certain concerns, laughing things off, reacting in an extreme, not normal way, or sheepishly not wanting yoshiki's disapproval. he clumsily struggles to follow yoshiki's reasoning why murder is bad and at that point already gleans that yoshiki probably wont like an admission of "yeah, i killed the neighborhood grandma",

hikaru's probably being more anxious about yoshiki's perception of him than his act morally, therefore he avoids telling the truth, he also spends half of ch 16 stressing over yoshiki's reaction. asako flat out says she wished to speak to the spirit, and hikaru literally doesnt react to that at all outside of thoughts about himself, and is still just a little guilty talking abt it later on.

hikaru did gain a bit of confidence before yoshiki momentarily gave up on him, or calms down at least to be able to suggest showing his inhuman qualities to yoshiki again, but isnt clear in what he says he'll do, once again freaking yoshiki out, even though it supposedly did help him against other spirits. hikaru's probably got a tied "love" of yoshiki and absorbing things, and got a little greedy, still not understanding how to even broach the request.

my point with all this is that he usually feels guilty, or some sort of emotion, about his actions, especially in regards to yoshiki and that does show he remembers what he's done. but in contrast to those moments, on this page where yoshiki asks him why he went to his door, hikaru cant come up with an answer. hikaru, who gives a dopey smile to asako once again accusing him of not being human, doesnt show a hint of hiding a secret for going to yoshiki's house before. hikaru looks more confused at even trying to recall what yoshiki's referencing, as if yoshiki asked him abt some unimportant comment from long ago

hikaru marvels at yoshiki's soul, and is very sure he doesn't want yoshiki to die, and even includes asako in his thoughts, and becomes extremely upset at the thought of yoshiki dying.

later, after hikaru decides to prove himself to yoshiki, he got his head lopped off by a special ghostbusters sword, and has a scar duct tape apparently cant fix, so i wonder if because of this he cant balance his body too well and is acting too much like his original, spirity self, viewing yoshiki first as only soul, not even with a body, maybe in the same way the other spirits view humans?

anywayss, hikaru's said he cant quite remember his role as a being and what he even did before, hence yoshiki carrying their ghost project, but also, before, he at least acted in yoshiki's defense. he declares he'll protect yoshiki and uses his funky eye to be all ghosty, but now he does it in a different way completely, the eye making a diff shape. yoshiki might become a snack instead of hikaru's wish and hikaru might not even remember what happened