#even tho apprently thats a whole other flag???

[demadogs]

why do you hate the word lesbian?

first i wanna clarify that this is 100% personal to me and my own identity. i dont hate the word when other people use it. if someone identifies as a lesbian then hell yeah i will happily call you a lesbian.

but for me i just have zero positive connection with the word. when i hear the word i think of middle schoolers i went to school with using it as an insult to girls who werent super feminine. i think of nasty men saying they think lesbians are sexy. i think of so many old shows i grew up on using the word lesbian as a punchline or insult and seeing my parents laugh along with the laugh track. i just associate it with so many negative things. have you ever met someone and had a really bad experience with them and from then on the name they had is completely tainted and you hate their name too? thats what happened to the word lesbian for me.

for me growing up i rarely ever heard “gay” used as an insult or in a negative way, at least not to the extant that “lesbian” was. and when i was like 16 and found more queer communities calling themselves gay it was always so welcoming and nice. so i immediately felt way more comfortable identifying as gay instead of lesbian even tho technically by definition, i am a lesbian. but gay means same sex, not just men. this is why i dont like when people refer to the mlm flag as “the gay flag” because i am a woman but im GAY. the word “gay” is not reserved for men. its not like the word “sapphic”.

speaking of “sapphic”, i think is the holy grail of queer words. this is my favorite word ever. most straight men havent even heard the word which is just fucking WONDERFUL so the word hasnt been sexualized by men at ALL. and its a word purely for love and relationships between women which i think is beautiful AND ITS NAMED AFTER A GREEK GODDESS WHO WROTE POETRY ABOUT LOVING WOMEN????!!!!! WHATTA BEAUTIFUL WORD!!!!! i also cant explain it but the word just is pink in my mind. like its not sapphic its 🩷✨sapphic✨🩷.

for me its just my personal experience with the word “lesbian” has been so negative that i dont even want to reclaim it in any way. i do not like the word and i do not like calling myself one. and i think other sapphic girls should respect that instead of trying to convince them to change.

not referring to you at all, but i have seen people that also hate identifying as lesbian and other girls try to call them out as if its problematic? this happened somewhat recently with jojo siwa. she made a tiktok saying she doesnt like the word and i completely agreed with her but so many girls stitched it and were basically trying to cancel her and it pissed me off so much. they were saying “its just because of men” like yeah she probably knows that?? knowing the source of your discomfort doesnt make the discomfort go away. it made me really upset.

so yeah basically i just have a very negative associations with the word “lesbian” and im way more comfortable identifying as gay, sapphic, or queer. but if you or anyone reading this identifies as a lesbian i obviously respect you and im glad you didnt grow up having any negative connotations with the word.