#even though they are just as capable of being racist and cruel and bigoted as the english community is

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

Sorry for the little rant but vegetta is still going on abt how the “English community” was too sensitive for being upset. Like idk man i wish he would listen to why the mod was taken out. The sentiment I’ve seen thrown around is that “the mods always been there and no one’s complained” or “no one was offended by those types of jokes before!”

Like yea. That’s what happens when cultures clash. And obviously racism shouldn’t be normal anywhere but in the gaming space it IS. And while the English community isn’t perfect the sheer amount of apologies we have from ccs is an indicator that even past racism isn’t tolerated. A few indigenous English fans actually got in contact with the mod’s creator and that’s what prompted him to make a statement, but those same fans were harassed and told to shut up bc “you’re racist for thinking something’s racist”. I got qrt’d with a sh video bc I dared to be uncomfortable. Most of the shitty stuff is on twt as to be expected but it still hurts. It’s so rare that people, white peoples especially, listen. I’m so happy the mod creator listened. I’m so sad some ccs aren’t.

Is Vegetta STILL going on about this? Hoooooly moly, the mod was removed, it's not coming back, and even the creator had the humility to recognize the problems and change them. There is nothing left to argue for and he clearly doesn't understand what people are actually arguing about

[ariesbilly]

People who view Billy's character in such a negative one-dimensional way come across as so sheltered to me. He really reminds me of my dad in a lot of ways, and when we watched S2 and 3 together we revisited convos about what it was like for my dad to grow up with a father like Neil, a mother who let him down, step-siblings he had toxic relationships with, and what it was like to have to let go of the ways he learned to survive it all. People really undestimate just how hard it is to break the cycle of violence when you're all on your own. If you're young and by yourself, with very little money or access to resources about abuse, then you just have to blindly stumble into the life lessons you need.

At the same time people also undestimate how capable of change people can be when they actually have a chance. Once my dad was out of his father's house during his 20s he had room to breathe and actually grow up. He put all his anger and fear into learning a trade instead of taking it out on others, put effort into learning about the people and cultures he was taught to be racist against, and eventually found a career working with young people so he could be the supportive figure he needed when he was their age.

Lots of folks who grow up to be good people were like Billy or like my dad when they were younger. Billy's story gets cut short before we get to see that though. It's still important to know that even if a victim of abuse is an asshole and a product of their shitty environment that doesn't mean they aren't worthy of help. You don't have to like them but that doesn't make them irredeemable. If people's support abuse victims is conditional on their moral purity then they are not the allies they think they are.

(also love the idea of Billy working with young people in his future one of my fave personal headcanons)

billy antis to me fall into the camp of either 1. being incredibly sheltered and having no idea what the fuck theyre talking about or 2. they say billy reminds them of whatever abuser they personally had in their life, so automatically theyre unable to separate that bias and generally its fuck whoever talks positively about billy (ive seen a FEW people able to see reason but....) 

and like thats a whole separate issue coming from the riverdale fandom and preferring the parents over the kids, all the damn time i had to hear people coming into mine or my friends inboxes/posts trauma dumping because x parent remind them of their parent etc etc and like girl... what does that got to do with me. like sorry you went through that but whats that got to do with me.

people need to learn how to separate fiction from reality. thats the first problem that needs to be addressed

but like if yall WANT to make it this deep and talk about the real world and shit, its so counterproductive to talk about abusive victims who are literal children and deciding theyre beyond redemption. its also very convenient how people pick and choose when someones a child. if you did x thing at age 17 youre a child but if you do z thing youre an adult. make it make sense. 

i feel like these people just... dont exist in reality? like i have to imagine theyre only interactions with other people are their echo chambers online because SURELY you cannot be interacting with real life human beings day to day in the real world and coming to these conclusions. people are incredibly nuanced. everyones got skeletons in their closet. everyones got things in their past they are not proud of. its what theyve made of themselves since their darkest moments that matters. its what people choose to do with themselves once they identify their problems and issues that matters. billy LITERALLY GAVE UP HIS LIFE. and its not enough for people. which is... insane to me. and heinously cruel minded. especially paired with how they go on to treat REAL PEOPLE for understanding his character. “i hate this character because theyre mean and bigoted so to show this i will go on and be mean and bigoted to other people”. like yall need some windex for your mirrors cuz clearly somethings not getting through when you look into it every day.

my brother and i had a notoriously toxic relationship when we lived together. we’re still not particularly close probably because of that (also theres a 7 year age difference so that was never gonna help) but like literally last time we were together a week or two ago to put up the christmas tree we were getting along, he even volunteered for all things to put our initial ornaments next to each other on the tree. we snuck upstairs before dinner to hang out in my room and smoke lmfao like... amazing what distance can do for a relationship i have full faith that all billy and max needed was for billy to move out and get away from neil and they would be maybe not besties but surely a hell of a lot closer than they could be under current circumstances.

people just dont want to put in the brainpower to think long term. they dont want to face the facts of billys situation because then they would have to realize how fucking shitty they are to people like him. and no one wants to do that. no one wants to realize theyve been the villain this whole time lmao

i had another thought but i lost it which is probably for the best cuz this response is already long as hell. 

[japanstopbrawler1992]

I've already said Masaru's the muse that is least like me (and Bleach's Ichigo is so much like me, in my project I may end up just giving him my career)

But I do get enough to want to play him.

Of course, uh, well, anyone who knows me can tell you all about my difficulty with modern technology. Although I'm really handy with analogue tech, to the point I still mostly use it and can do basic repair on most of it (though, like me, it's all ageing and showing problems it didn't used to, at which point, I seem to become Tim Taylor...)

One of the things I do get is the basic feeling of anger. Mine is related to racism and queerphobia to the point of being an abuse survivor because of it. This is why my triggers are rage triggers, and they're things like "dressing up my human default English in exotic Japanese" and other "racism against certain groups is empowering uwu" kinda stuff.

Masaru's is maybe not as easy to point out, although his seems to be directed towards things that either endanger loved ones (Masaru v. Piyomon), hurt feelings into anger (Masaru v. Touma the second time, after he gave Touma his trust) or things that just violate his ethics code/are cruel (Kurata)

Also, feeling looked down on (Touma at first, ostensibly the motivation for the people he regularly fights with, who mostly look older than him), but I think that's probably most people.

And of course, violence is the first resort and something he regards as a moral imperative rather than something he does only if he must (conversely, Ichigo seems to fight regretfully when feeling forced into it, and Ken, well, the moment he realised he was being violent to living beings, that was horrifying enough to break him of control, and probably scar him for life. Will be upset if he's totally well-adjusted in Kizuna)

But I still get the anger, even if mine's through 23 years of acquiring CPTSD (and my understanding of trauma is why I said the last thing in brackets) and his is more just kinda how he's wired.

Will it ever calm down? I kinda picture there having to be an event to really bring home that he's gotta stop defaulting to violence. The anger, you know, that might even end up getting worse.

I used to solve the problems I could with fighting because I just didn't see another way. In high school, once the Japanese side of my family was all deceased, and it was the racist side and a bunch of racist Southerners, I quickly realised I had no school staff or any authority figures on my side, and all I was left with was my fists.

But when I turned legal age, I didn't wanna end up in prison, and I already knew the law only accepts self-defence if you're white. And you have to be monoracial white to be white. Those both being obvious, I became afraid to fight for myself.

I have even in recent years, rushed headlong into fights to protect others, but I'm trying to get the victim to safety, not take on the attacker. Honestly, joint degradation at this point means the latter wouldn't work, anyway.

One thing I can so easily see Masaru sharing with me is, even after all these years, I never figured out how to protect myself without violence.

I recently got pepper spray. Literally three days ago. I'll see what happens. The problem is I've been taught so hard to fear consequences of protecting myself.

But Masaru would still have two things I do, even if for different reasons.

1. He would not know how to effectively stand up for himself or his loved ones in the absence of violence being a viable route. Being ineffective would further fuel anger.

2. I think he'd be prone to worse buildup of anger once he can't let any of it out in violence. As he ages, things like insomnia, stress-related vomiting, and high blood pressure might be very real problems for him.

When you use your fists to solve problems, but you aren't an abusive person, you eventually submit to that not being a reasonable answer, and you end up with a "what now?"

And even a couple of decades after losing the option of violence, I still don't have an answer. People say "don't let it get to you" or "let it roll of your back," and that doesn't make any sense to me. I'm not that type of person. I'm not capable of that. And I don't think Masaru is, either.

Breathing excersises, walking meditation (you focus on chanting, not emptying your mind), knowing the one kind of person who actually is beneath me (I see all people as just that, people) is a bully, I dunno. I just think it's very hard for someone who once relied on violence to find something else that works. Bottling it all up keeps you from dealing with cops, which dealing with cops is never a good idea in America, but actually getting rid of the anger, if I haven't found that by 2020, someone so much younger than me is unlikely to have.

Sure, he has living family and people that are good fighters themselves, and let's be real, Touma deals with bigoted family hating his guts. He also duelled Masaru early on. He gets the satisfaction of violence.

So he has more possibility to be taught various ways to maybe somewhat mitigate the stress at one point, but his gut reaction will probably always be rage, and frankly, probably Touma is the only one who has a chance of knowing a way to help diffuse the rage after it's there.

That being said, Touma has other failsafes. He does look down on other people. He's got access to an ivory tower of loftiness, if you will. He's the one most likely to understand how Masaru feels, but he has his own background and viewpoint that Masaru doesn't have an equivalent. And let's be honest, Sayuri, and what we know of him, Suguru, don't really have that anger.

A lot of people I work with don't have that anger, either. They can let people calling them monkeys or "joking" about the Holocaust or calling ICE on them roll of their back. And they tell me to, and I just can't. So I don't feel like Sayuri or Suguru have the rage necessary to help Masaru cope once violence is no longer a viable route. I've come to realise that feeling rage is a fundamental type of person, just as Sayuri's apparent lack of an anger drive.

I think Touma comes closest to it. But I think he'd have to have a better answer than "know you're better than them." Masaru doesn't have that kind of high horse. In fact, he seems to at first, readily agree with and be angered by Touma being of upper class and accomplishment as well as his arrogance.

But as much as there's just got to be a solution to deal with the rage, which Masaru has in spades, I am currently unable to even concieve it myself. So as Masaru gets older, yeah, I think he'd have not-insignificant health problems related to just all that anger sitting in him.