#ever been to california academy of science? insane

[anxi0usgh0st]

if you see this I’m taking you on a date to the planetarium then we’re going to a cat cafe and a library. best places on earth criticism isn’t taken

[super-famicom-star-inactive]

Friday Special #3

November 13th, 2020

Welcome to today’s Friday Special!

For this week, we’ll be digging into some history of a country, a company, and how a little game called Tetris changed the international gaming landscape.

Okay so imagine this

The year is 1984.

In America, Van Halen had released their iconic album 1984 to the masses. Apple Macintosh introduced their first personal computer. The XXIII Olympiad is held in Los Angeles, California. The space shuttle Discovery makes its maiden voyage into space.

In Japan, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind hits theatres and would put Hayao Miyazaki into the spotlight, encouraging him and others to create Studio Ghibli the following year. NHK, the national broadcasting network, tests out a new type of satellite called the BS-2a. The Sony Discman is one of the hottest electronics to own as Compact Discs (CDs) had started to gain popularity.

What about the Soviet Union?

Besides a collision of Soviet submarine K-314 and the USS Kitty Hawk as well as the country famously boycotting the Summer Olympics that year, not much. 

Wait, what about Tetris?

Buckle up.

So the insanely popular puzzle game Tetris had its simple start in the USSR and was created by Russian programmer Alexey Leonidovich Pajitnov. It was conceptualized and created during Pajitnov’s time as a speech recognition researcher at the Soviet Academy of Sciences in St. Petersburg. Pajitnov designed Tetris and similar puzzle games like it because he wanted computers to make people happy and believed that "games allow people to get to know each other better and act as revealers of things you might not normally notice, such as their way of thinking."

Tetris first saw life on the Electronika 60, a Soviet computer at the time and also a rare commodity even then, and was released on June 6, 1984. It was the result of Pajitnov trying to recall a favorite childhood game and it used the shapes of tetrominoes (geometric shapes that are connected orthogonally [at the edges, not corners] and fit like a jigsaw puzzle, Tetris calls them tetriminoes). The first version of Tetris had no score system or levels but it was popular amongst his colleagues for its addictive gameplay.

The game became so popular that Pajitnov enlisted the help of Vadim Gerasimov, a 16-year-old high school student with a knack for computer skills, to adapt the game to the IBM Personal Computer (released in 1981) and they were successfully able to do so, with Pajitnov adding color and a soundboard for the second version.

Although the Academy disliked the success that the game was getting, Pajitnov had a dream of exporting the game to the world. He got help from Victor Brjabrin to help with the publication of Tetris, where the first international copy of Tetris wound up with the Hungarian company Novotrade in 1986. The game would then be distributed all over Hungary and even reached Poland. It was in that same year and place that Robert Stein, international software salesman for the firm Andromeda Software (based in London, England) would be exposed to the popular puzzle game and he was so impressed by it that he faxed the co-creators directly for the license rights. 

Here’s one thing to keep in mind, even a deal made over fax communication in the Western world is a legally-binding contract.

This is where things get hairy

Tetris would see its major American introduction in Las Vegas at the 1987 Consumer Electronics Show. After that and several negotiations, Stein gave the firm Mirrorsoft the European rights and the American rights to Spectrum Holobyte. With the rights in their grasp, Mirrorsoft released their version on the IBM PC in 1987 and Spectrum Holobyte version released in January of 1988. As a result, Tetris became an international phenomenon and became highly successful in both North America and Europe. The game itself was later ported to Amiga, Atari ST, ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64 and Amstrad CPC.

Despite the good fortune however, Stein was left with an issue. See, he sold the license of the game without actually owning it. After some more negotiating, this time with the central organization for importing/exporting of the Soviet Union Elorg (Elektronorgtechnica), the deal was made that Tetris would be made available for all current and future computer systems.

So where is Tengen in all of this?

In 1988, Tengen, a subsidiary of Atari Games, received the Japanese rights from Mirrorsoft. Tengen then sold the arcade rights to SEGA and the console version to BPS (Bullet-Proof Software). BPS would go on to create a version of Tetris for the Nintendo Famicom System (The NES in North America) in 1989. 

Tengen the subsidiary was founded in December of 1987 and was Atari Games’ response of needing a firm to oversee the console gaming side of the company. The only licensed games that were released under Tengen were R.B.I. Baseball, Pac-Man, and Gauntlet.

Yeah, the famous Tengen version of Tetris was actually unlicensed. 

Under Tengen, Tetris went under the name Tetris: The Soviet Mind Game in May of 1989, although the arcade machine clones would read 1988. 

So at this point, at least a dozen of different companies held rights to the Tetris game, with Stein in particular holding exclusive home computer rights. Nintendo would be ready to go with their introduction of the Gameboy in 1989. 

AAAAAnd here’s where the problems arise.

When Henk Rogers, a Dutch video game designer and entrepreneur for Nintendo, was trying to obtain handheld console rights, he was unsuccessfully able to get in contact with Atari before trying to contact Stein. While relations were good at first, Rogers started getting suspicious that Stein had a breach of contract and traveled to the Soviet Union not only to investigate, but to contact the Elorg itself about handheld console rights. 

What he ended up doing was getting involved in a meeting that contained Stein and Mirrorsoft manager Kevin Maxwell over rights with the Elorg president Nikolai Belikov present. When Belikov was shown a Tetris cartridge by Rogers, he was surprised as he believed that Tetris was only licensed for home computers. Had not Rogers defended that the rights were sold to Nintendo through Atari Games thanks to Stein, and Rogers being on good terms with Pajitnov, Nintendo would have been sued into oblivion for illegal publication of the game. 

During the discussions, Belikov offered to null and void Stein’s rights to the game and instead offered Nintendo full rights to their home consoles and handheld consoles. Thanks to Rogers, Minoru Arakawa and Howard Lincoln, both Nintendo executives, signed off on the contract and Stein was left in the dust, losing all the console rights lost due to failing to read about the clause that defined the computer as “a machine with a screen and a keyboard” and not a console.

With this, Nintendo sent a cease-and-desist to Atari Games, demanding that they stop making the NES version of Tetris. However, Mirrorsoft was on Atari’s side, insisting that they still had rights. Nintendo didn’t give in on its stance however, and things got so out of hand that even the Soviet Union President Mikhail Gorbachev had to get involved on Mirrorsoft’s behalf. 

Talk about pressure.

What then ensued was the legendary lawsuit between Atari Games and Nintendo, with Atari Games claiming that since the Nintendo Famicom (Nintendo Family Computer is its full name) had “computer” in the name and that it featured an extension input that can allow the console to be converted into a computer, thus it could not claim the rights as stated in the Elorg contract, since it was a classified as a computer. 

(While the Famicom does have a third-party extension on the bottom right side of the console, that was usually there for third-party controllers at the time. Down below is the extension input in question.)

Pajitnov testifed on Nintendo’s behalf, saying that the contract only affected computers and nothing else, and Belikov, also on the side of Nintendo, argued the same stance. 

Ultimately, the case was ruled in Nintendo’s favor as it was discovered that Mirrorsoft and Spectrum HoloByte never received explicit authorization for marketing on consoles. As a result, Atari Games withdrew the NES version of Tetris from the market by the hundreds of thousands.

So what about Pajitnov? Did he ever get any money out of this?

Nope.

See, because of the laws in place regarding ownership of property in the Soviet Union at the time, Pajitnov could neither patent or make money off of his product and he never received any of the royalties for Tetris, hence the existence of so many clones. Despite this, he remained optimistic, quoted saying “The fact that so many people enjoy my game is enough for me."

Don’t worry, the story does have a happy ending though.

Over the years since Tetris’ worldwide introduction, Pajitnov was routinely invited by journalists and publishers to speak and give interviews, giving him a reputation in the West. After being introduced to America for the first time in 1990 after receiving an invite to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas by Spectrum Holobyte, he began to study American culture by traveling to different cities of the United States. It was reported that he spoke of his travels often to his colleagues back in the Soviet Union. He was very proud of the game’s success and even called it “an electronic ambassador of benevolence.”

He and Vladimir Pokhilko, a friend of his, later emigrated to the West Coast of the United States in 1991 where Pajitnov settled in Seattle, Washington. He finally regained the rights to Tetris in 1996, exactly a decade as agreed by the Academy when the deal was made regarding rights, and in that same year, founded The Tetris Company to manage all rights after all other contracts had expired. It was then that he finally started making royalties for Tetris and also founded Tetris Holding after the dissolution of the Soviet Union. Tetris Holding is responsible for taking unlicensed Tetris clones off of the market.

Recently in 2005, EA purchased Jamdat, a mobile game company that Rogers founded in 2001 to manage the Tetris license. They then held a 15-year license for all mobile phone releases until April of 2020.

So there you have it, one of the most famous lawsuits in history about one of the most famous video games in history.

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 2

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

 Penny Parker worked, on average, 108 hours a week between three jobs to make ends meet for herself and Peter. His high school, a stupidly expensive private science academy, sucked the majority of her income up each month despite a scholarship. Rent was $1,200 a month, not including utilities. Peter ate like a quintessential teenage boy, which meant a pound of cereal every morning before school and the equivalent in the evenings when he got home from his clubs.

She didn’t sleep much and only had one rotating day off each week. After learning of Peter’s situation with Tony Stark, she slept even less and spent her days off doing any and all research she could into the man and her options for getting Peter away from him. By the time a month had passed since the revelation that her baby brother was being stalked by a super powerful, criminal mastermind pedophile piece of shit, Penny was a wreck of a human being. Even Peter, who was understandably wrapped up in his own head most of the month, had noticed the bags under his sister’s eyes and the harried look she carried about her at all times.

They joked that Penny had taken every bit of chaos from her parents combined genes, somehow managing to leave behind every ounce of intelligence for Peter. She was a walking, talking disaster on the best of days. He’d seen her stick a fork in a toaster, try to mix bleach and vinegar, hell one time she’d come home from work with a sprained wrist because she’d fallen off a ladder stocking some shelves despite the fact someone had been actively holding the ladder to spot her. But this was an entirely new level of disarray from his sister.

Peter could tell that she wasn’t coming up with any solutions that she was happy with. Despite their inside jokes, Penny had a weird sort of intuitive intelligence. She couldn’t do basic math in her head and forget anything to do with science, hell basic reading comprehension could be a trial at times.

What she knew was that Tony Stark had every police department in New York on his payroll, despite the act they put on that “they were doing everything in their power” to gather evidence on the 87 open investigations into him and his company. She knew that he had several politicians under the same thumb, not because it was public knowledge, but because somehow every bill that was put to vote that could be useful to Tony Stark passed into law (or however that sort of thing worked—Penny didn’t understand bills and laws and the senate or whatever, but who really did?).

She knew that the surrounding states were similarly within his range of power. That his companies’ holdings in California meant he had too much control there too. He had holdings in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico as well. It wasn’t public knowledge, but Penny could read between the lines when things seemed too good to be true. Or, too good to be true for one Tony Stark. Everything aligned in a way that was so suspicious, she couldn’t figure out why the FBI or CIA or NSA weren’t on to him too.

In the end, all it meant was that nothing Penny did would really matter in the long run. Tony Stark was infinitely powerful in a multitude of states, rich and influential in a way that one person shouldn’t ever have the ability to be. And Penny Parker had $3,000 to her name and a shitty apartment and an even shittier car. Compared to Tony Stark, she wasn’t even good enough to be dirt.

It meant that she had to be more creative. Penny wasn’t smart, but thinking outside of the usually accepted parameters was kind of her specialty. There was no good way to get Peter away from Tony’s sphere of influence, but there were some ways. Maybe just a single way. A very unpleasant, single way that would rip her heart to shreds. But Penny had decided as a 13 year old that she would do everything she could to keep Peter safe and happy and fuck if she was willing to stop now.

***

“Are you still stalking the webcam feed?” Tony wondered if it was possible to push anymore exasperation into his voice as he walked into the main living room only to find Clint once again watching Peter’s empty apartment on the massive TV.

“Something might happen,” it was the same defense the assassin always used when caught in the act, but Tony knew that the blond actually just wanted to catch a glimpse of Penelope Parker.

In all fairness, even Tony could admit that the young woman was rather beautiful. Where Peter’s skin was milky white and freckled, Penelope had a tan that betrayed her father’s Israeli heritage. She was shorter than Peter, held more weight than her lanky but growing brother. Her hair was long and held a natural wave, the same colour as Peter’s. They had the same eye colour as well, but Penelope’s were more narrow and slanted. It wasn’t Tony’s cup of tea, but he could objectively understand the appeal.

In all honestly, Penelope Parker wasn’t his cup of tea as a person. Every time her name popped into his head, he felt a seething rage begin to build in his chest. Penelope fucking Parker, responsible enough to be deemed guardian of the most precious boy in New York but not responsible enough to actually take care of him.

Back when he thought Peter lived alone off his meager inheritance, the living situation had bothered Tony but not enraged him. After all, sure a teenage boy would be fine living in a shit hole if it fit his budget. But no, his sister was the one who made him live in that rat’s nest. His sister, who worked so often it left poor Peter neglected and alone, was the reason he had to walk through dangerous streets to get home at night. His sister.

His fucking sister.

No wonder Peter hadn’t told him he had a sister. She was probably a fucking monster, as selfish and miserable as the goddamn evil stepsister from Cinderella.

He’d caught enough glimpses of Penelope Goddamn Parker in the last month to last him a life time. She and Peter hardly interacted where the webcam could pick up, although sometimes they caught snippets of audio. Mostly, they witnessed just how addicted to the internet she was. She spent more time on her fucking laptop than she did talking to her own brother.

It drove Tony insane, knowing that the longer he left Peter in her care, the more neglected he would be. His baby boy was trapped in an apartment with an uncaring bitch who spent 90% of her time working and the other 10% ignoring him for whatever bullshit Instagram, Facebook nonsense she was so obsessed with. Tony didn’t even bother keeping a record of her internet history, after the first two days of monitoring had revealed she spent the entire time on Youtube.

“Yeah? And has anything happened in the last, oh, 6 hours since she left for work?”

“No but she should be getting home soon—” Clint winced, having walked directly into the trap Tony set like a dumbass.

“Stop watching the bitch on my TV, all you do is stare down her fucking shirt anyway.”

“The bitch would make a pretty decent lay if you’d give a guy a break.”

Tony Stark did not roll his eyes. Tony Stark was a genius, ran a weapons engineering empire, had the most important politicians in the United States in his back pocket. Tony Stark did not roll his eyes.

So Tony Stark Did Not Roll His Eyes at the blond parked out on his couch with a bowl of popcorn and a beer. No doubt there was a cheap ass pizza on it’s way up the elevator, despite the fact Tony employed some of the best chefs in New York for his private kitchen. Clint Barton was the worst sort of best friend Tony had, but he’d still kill for the dumbass.

“What has Penelope Goddamn Motherfucking Parker done now?” Sam Wilson questioned absently as he walked into the living room from the kitchen, quoting Tony’s general tone of voice when talking about the woman.

“She hasn’t even taken her shirt off where I can see it, can you believe that? Fucking ridiculous. With a rack like that she should be shaking her tits on camera for money daily,” Clint whined in response, gesturing to the empty room on the TV, “I swear she sleeps on that fucking couch almost every night and not once has she undressed in front of the computer.”

“You’re a freak, my dude,” Sam smacked the blond upside the head as he walked past towards the elevator, “Time table still on track, Stark?”

“Steady as she goes,” Tony replied, pulling his phone out of his back pocket, “Where are you going? Movie night starts in 20 minutes?”

Movie night was almost the most ridiculous thing Tony participated in on any given day. His inner circle was made up of the only people in the world he trusted, was made of up assassins and ex-military super soldiers and all sorts of genetically altered freaks, and somehow movie night had become a staple of their existence. To miss a movie night without a doctor’s note or a mission was a crime punishable by near exile in the form of a group silent treatment. Pepper, Happy and Pietro were currently exempt, away on a business trip as executive, body guard, and assistant.

“Just going to change,” Wilson gestured to his workout clothes and shrugged, “need to shower.”

“Now if only we could make you realize that needs to happen more than once a month,” Clint muttered quietly, only to have a dirty shoe nail him in the face a moment later.

The blond fell off the couch with a shout, popcorn flying everywhere as the bowl escaped his grip. Sam, who’s aim was almost as impeccable as Clint’s own, gave the man the finger as the elevator doors closed dramatically.

“You are a disaster of a human being,” Tony commented absently, still watching his phone as the little dot that was his baby boy moved through the city.

He ignored Clint’s protests, flopping onto the couch and making himself comfortable while the rest of the tower’s residents slowly ambled into the communal living room. Bucky and Steve were parked out on the recliner, disgustingly cute and cuddly even from a distance. They, like Clint, had a stupid fascination with fucking Penelope and were watching the webcam feed while they waited for everyone to arrive.

Natasha and Wanda wandered in while chatting, each already having a drink in their hand. Thor, Loki and Bruce all came out of the elevator at the same time, Bruce having come from the labs and the two brothers from the coffee shop on the ground floor of the tower. Sam and Rhodey entered at the same time from the stairwell, both having freshly showered after a long day.

“What are we watching tonight?”

The following argument generally lasted a solid 20 minutes, but Wanda and Natasha won out with a comedy horror they’d all already seen before. It left plenty of room for conversation while the movie played in the background, a deck of cards finding their way onto the coffee table as well.

“So what’s the plan for your boy’s sister, Tones?” Rhodey questioned as Sam dealt cards for their third game of poker of the night.

“I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic to get away from the bitch,” the man grumbled in response as he adjusted his hand, “He’d probably walk right out the front door and leave her in the dust if I asked. I figure I’ll give her an ultimatum: Peter comes with me and she shuts the fuck up, or Peter comes with me and she finds herself in a shallow grave.”

“I think I could draw her tits from memory from how often she’s on her computer and ignoring her brother,” Clint stated, because despite the fact he thought Penelope god awful Parker was hot as all Hell, he knew how much it hurt to have the person who was supposed to care for you most ignore you completely.

Rhodey hummed in agreement, “Maybe we should off her, just in case. I bet she gets some sort of welfare from the state for him and she shouldn’t get to keep raking that in.”

“She shouldn’t get it even while she’s got him,” Natasha stated from over her wine, spread out and lounging on the loveseat closest to the couch, “probably uses it for drugs. It definitely isn’t used for groceries to feed to the poor kid, he looks half starved.”

“Nah, that’s just teenage boy syndrome,” Bucky added a couple of bills to the pot on the coffee table, “Not that I think she’s winning any care taker of the year awards, but I’ve seen that him eat while doing surveillance. Kid could take down a whole ass McDonalds by himself if given the chance.”

“He’s been putting on some weight actually,” Tony felt the corners of his lips tip up in a small smirk, “Muscle mass, one of his friends started dragging him to lift weights on Thursdays.”

“Careful Stark, you get too excited by the thought and you’re gonna pop off in your jeans,” a round of snorts sounded at Rhodey’s words and Tony Stark, Who Did Not Roll His Eyes, gave his friend the finger.

“I say we just go ahead and kill her,” Bruce was focused more on his laptop and the reports there in than the movie, but made sure he always paid attention to the conversation during movie nights, “she’s a liability. It might help Peter adjust too, knowing that she’s gone.”

“And that he has nothing left and nothing to go back to,” Clint added, not mean spiritedly but pointedly and with an exaggerated head tilt.

“He won’t have anything left or anything to go back to,” it was pragmatic and a bit cold, but Steve never pulled his punches, “its best to cut all ties. The more he relies on Tony, the faster he’ll adapt to his new situation. Maybe its manipulative, but this is a weird situation and we might have to get our hands dirty to get him to a good place, mentally and physically.”

“By weird you mean kidnapping a kid?”

“For his own good!”

“Its only kidnapping until he turns eighteen, right?”

“I don’t think that’s how the concept of kidnapping works, Clint.”

“Excuse me, sir,” JARVIS suddenly interrupted, turning on the lights and turning off the movie, “I believe it is important that you watch the webcam footage I’ve been monitoring. The recording begins as of five minutes ago and is still ongoing.”

“Pull it up, J,” Tony ordered quickly, sitting forward on the couch.

Everyone in the room watched in confusion as the TV began to roll on Peter and stupid fucking Penelope sitting in front of the laptop, most likely at the kitchen table. Peter was slightly off to the side, the computer centered more on his sister.

“Penny, please just tell me what you’ve decided on? I’ve been watching you lose your mind for weeks, I know you came up with something last night.”

“You’re… not going to like it Peter,” fucking Penelope’s voice was soft, the laptop microphone too shitty to pick up the quiet cadence well, “If you can think of something better, we’ll go with that. But… I don’t think there’s another choice. I’ve gone through everything I can think of. Try to let me get through this without yelling at me, okay?”

They’d never really seen Peter and fucking Penelope interact before. Most of the time it was just her, on the laptop, all the fucking time. Peter came and went in the background, to and from school and clubs and his friend’s houses, but most of the time she closed the laptop when he was around. They were all a bit surprised by how much affection was in her expression as she looked at her brother. Peter nodded at her, lips already pursed in frustration.

“I’ve been doing as much research as I can on Tony Stark. He’s… God, he’s got more influence than the fucking president. There are entire states in his pocket, Pete. Can you believe that? From what I can figure out, he’s got just about every New York senator on his payroll and don’t even get me started on the police—”

“How’d she figure that out?” Rhodey’s frown was a mixture of concern and irritation, “There’s never been any sort of reporting on your dealings with politicians.”

“I don’t know.”

“The good news is, I don’t think he has any business in Oregon. I’ve looked through as much of the gossip as I can, he’s never spent any significant amount of time there and if I’ve been understanding the weird ass insinuations correctly, his businesses don’t operate in the area.”

“Oregon? Are we gonna go there?” Peter reached out and grabbed his sister’s hands, “I promise, I’m not upset over us having to move Penny, I—”

“Peter, I’m… I’m not moving babe, you are.”

The teenager seemed to draw back slightly, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth dropping open as he searched for words but was unable to come up with any.

“I don’t think you remember them, the last time we saw them was before mom and dad died, but we have second cousins in Oregon, Paul and Olivia. They’re about ten years older than me, with one kid. When I got custody of you, I contacted them. I wanted to make sure that if something happened to me, I had a sure thing lined up for you. It was years ago, but they promised they’d take you in a heartbeat if I couldn’t care for you anymore, for any reason.”

“You… you wanted to give me to them?” Peter’s eyes were full of tears and they watched as Penelope reacted in horror.

“Peter, no! Never! I would never willingly let you go. I was worried, everyone around us was dropping like flies in freak accidents and I couldn’t let you go into foster care if I died. I just wanted to make sure you would have someone if something happened to me.”

“You thought you were gonna die?”

“My birth father died, and then mom and dad died, then uncle Ben, then aunt May. I didn’t want to leave you alone with no one. I didn’t think I was gonna die, I just… wanted to be prepared. Just in case.”

“Why are you bringing them up? And Oregon? What do you mean that I’m moving? Alone?”

Penelope What the Fuck is Happening Parker’s lips pursed, eyes filling with tears. There was a level of sheer pain on her face that was startling for them all to see, especially considering they’d managed to work her up as an unfeeling monster in their heads for fucking weeks now.

“I’ve tried a thousand ways for us both to go, but I just… I don’t have the money saved for us to move. We’d have to break the lease and even if we left with the clothes on our backs, we wouldn’t be able to afford getting to Oregon. The car won’t make it, I can’t afford plane tickets. I wouldn’t be able to afford to get to Oregon. But I’ve figured out a way to get you there.”

“How Penny?” Peter’s was obviously trying to sound stern, but his voice cracked slightly.

“Not tomorrow, but the day after, we’re going to put in an anonymous call to Child Protective Services and claim that I’m abusing you. Neglecting you. They’ll take you out of my custody and send you to Olivia and Paul, since they’re our ‘closest’ living relatives.” Penelope Oh Fuck Parker’s voice was cracking too, tears running down her face as she explained her batshit crazy plan to her baby brother, who they were quickly realizing was far from neglected or abused.

Tony felt his chest tightening at the sight of the siblings, both with tears streaming down their cheeks. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get it so incredibly wrong. Maybe he’d seen what he wanted to see, that his baby boy was easy pickings. That no one really cared for him so it would be easy to sweep him off his feet and spirit him away.

“You’ve never abused me! You’ve never neglected me! How could you even say that, Penny!? Everything you’ve ever done—”

“Peter please, listen,” Penny was nearly sobbing, grasping Peter’s hands tightly with her entire body angled downwards over them, “We have to pretend, okay? We have to pretend because they’ll send you somewhere safe.”

“You’ll go to jail!”

“That’s fine! That’s okay, Peter! As long as you’re safe, I don’t care—”

“You can’t ask me to do this, you can’t ask me to send you to jail, to send you away when you haven’t done anything wrong, ever! I wouldn’t even be able to visit you! I’d be a million miles away and you’d be rotting away in jail because I was too stupid to mind my own business!”

“Peter none of this is your fault,” the tone was so stern and determined as Penny sat straighter in her chair, squeezing her brother’s hands reassuringly even as her chest heaved with grief, “it’s that fucking pedophile, piece of shit Tony Goddamn Stark’s fault, don’t you ever think that you are at all to blame for any of this—”

“I probably deserve at least half of that rage,” Tony stated absently, almost guilty at the word ‘pedophile’.

“Half? Hah!” It was an absent response, more instinct than intention but got the point across even as the entire group was absorbed by the pain playing out on the TV.

“I went to that stupid tower!” Peter wailed suddenly, making Penny go stiff, “After you got that note telling you not to report the assault, I went to the tower because I knew he worked there and I wanted him to suffer. You wouldn’t go to the police because they threatened your family but I thought… It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was stupid and I went to fucking Stark Tower and that’s where he saw me. It’s all my fault.” Peter’s sobbing was viscerally painful to hear, even through the shitty microphone.

“What assault? A note? JARVIS, figure out what he’s talking about!” Tony barked, already on his feet and pulling out his phone, “Give me the surveillance footage from that day, who was my boy here looking for?!”

“As the conversation is roughly five minutes delayed, I took the liberty of deciphering Mr. Parker’s statements already, sir,” the AI stated calmly, “six months ago, Mr. Brock Rumlow of level six security sexually assaulted Ms. Penelope Parker in a club in Queens. In order to prevent any bad press upon the company, a persuasive letter was sent from the Tower’s security to Ms. Parker to ensure her silence on the matter. I assume the day you came across Mr. Parker was the day he arrived to confront Mr. Rumlow over the assault and threat.”

“Find him,” Tony snarled towards Rhodey, who was already on his feet and typing away at his phone, heading towards the elevator, “Alive, Rhodey!”

“I’ll see what I can manage,” the man muttered darkly as the doors shut and he began descending towards level six, leaving the rest of them in the living room.

“He… he saw you… there? Oh, god… Oh god he saw you because you went to the tower, oh my God you went there because of me and he saw you— Oh my God!” Penny’s reaction was so emotionally brutal that it verged on physically violent. Her entire body seemed to lock up for a solid thirty seconds before she threw herself out of the chair and they could hear retching in the background a moment later. Peter was still sitting on the far side of the screen, sobbing into his hands.

Almost five minutes later, Penny ambled back into view. Her face was so pale compared to her usually tan complexion that she looked like a ghost. A fine tremble ran through her entire body, goosebumps visible on her exposed arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter’s voice broke through his sobs, bone achingly sad, “I’m so sorry I did this to us.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, bud,” Penny’s eyes were almost blank, the pain so overwhelming that she couldn’t force any other expression, “I set all of this in motion. I made a mistake and I’m so sorry you’re having to pay for it. I should’ve protected you better, you never should’ve even known what happened, let alone who— it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Everything is going to be okay Peter. We have a plan and everything is going to be alright.”

“You’re going to go to jail, Penny! For a horrible crime that you’d never, ever commit! Because I was stupid and immature and—”

“Stop Peter,” Tony’s eyes watered as Penny gently ran her fingers through Peter’s hair and left it to rest on his cheek, “don’t blame yourself for this. No matter what you did, no matter what choices you made, you didn’t deserve to be frightened and stalked. What’s happening is happening because there’s a man out there with a sick mind, who thinks he can take whatever and whoever he wants for whatever he wants. That’s not on you, babe. That’s on him. And everyone who built him up and let him get to this point.”

She let Peter cry for several minutes and the group in the living room found themselves left to digest the situation to the sound of his sobs. Discomfort ran through all of them, for different reasons. Because they’d judged Penelope Too Good for This World Parker so wrong. Because they were the ones enabling Tony to do something terrible. Because they didn’t actually feel guilty for enabling Tony but they did feel guilty for the pain it was causing the Parker siblings.

“You’ll take such good care of him, Tony,” Natasha said quietly after a moment, seeing the pain in the man’s face, “He’s never going to want for anything ever again. He’s going to live in comfort and luxury for the rest of his life and that’s because of you.”

“He’s scared right now, Tones,” Clint jumped in quickly when it looked like Tony might protest, “They both are and we can’t blame them for that. But once they’re—he’s here, he’ll realize that it’s not a bad thing and that he has nothing to be afraid of. That we’re going to take care of them—him, all of us.”

Mind running at a million times per hour, Tony considered their words. Actually, he considered Clint’s words. Clint’s misspoken statements that implied both Parker siblings would be in the tower. Both of them would be safe and cared for. Both.

“They’ll never want for anything ever again,” Tony repeated quietly, all eyes in the room locked carefully on him, “Peter and Penny shouldn’t be separated.”

“You’ve given up everything for me, Penny,” Peter whispered after his cries calmed, “You dropped out of high school, dropped out of college, started working three jobs so I could go to that stupid school, you don’t sleep, you hardly eat, and I know it’s all for me. I can’t let you give up your freedom, I can’t let you give up anything else for me.”

“Oh my God no wonder she’s so skinny,” Wanda suddenly gasped, tears pouring down her cheeks in continuous rivers, “we thought Peter was skinny, but look at her, look at her collar bones! JARVIS, give me a record of all credit and debit card transactions she’s made in the last month and—” The redhead cut herself off when Penny began speaking again.

“All I want is for you to be happy Peter,” Penny whispered, the blank look in her eyes fading into grief again, “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. You’re everything to me, you’re my baby brother. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, bud, anything.”

“I won’t do it, Penny, I won’t—”

“Yes, you will, Peter,” resolve hardened Penny’s voice and she squeezed her brother’s hands, “You’re going to do as I say. Tomorrow you’re going to go to school and I’m going to call out of work. I’m going to throw most of your clothes away, all of the food in the house. I’m going to switch my stuff for yours, so it looks like I make you sleep on the couch while I take the bedroom.”

“Oh God she does sleep on the couch every night,” Professional Perfect Person Penelope Parker Stalker Clint Barton gasped in horror as he recalled his earlier comment on her sleeping habits and her undressing habits oh no.

“I’m going to trash the place as authentically as I can and I’m… God I’m going to destroy some of your stuff, Pete,” Penny looked pained at the thought, scraping a hand down her face, “But I’m going to transfer all of my savings into your name, so you’ll only be without your stuff for a little while. You can rebuy everything you need once this is over.”

“I can’t take your money, Pen—”

“Hush Peter. I don’t have much saved up, but I’ll put it under your name tomorrow. Now, when I turn 25 in a few months I’ll be able to use my portion of the money mom and dad left us. I’m going to transfer that to you as soon as I can, it should be enough for you to live off of once you turn 18 as long as you use it wisely.”

“Penny, please, you can’t expect—”

“I expect you to do as I say, Peter!” She cut him off with all the flare of a bossy big sister, “I want you to apply to universities outside of the United States. Focus on places like Norway, Australia and New Zealand. Avoid Mexico, Canada and the UK because I think he has business dealings in those countries and I don’t know how long he’ll be willing to search for you, so don’t risk it.”

“How does she know about our business in those places?” Tony threw his hands up in confusion.

“Sir, from what I can gather from Ms. Parker’s search history, she has done her best to track yours and your staff’s movements around the world for the last five or so years by means of social media and gossip blogs—”

“Well holy fuck, who would’ve thought to do that?” Sam’s eyebrows were raised nearly to his hairline, “that’s ridiculous, no wonder she was on the laptop constantly.”

“Once you turn 25 you’ll come into your inheritance too. By that time I’ll probably be out of jail but… Peter I want you to leave me alone, okay? We don’t know… we don’t know if Stark will let this go, if he loses you. He might use my location and contacts to find you and I can’t let that happen.”

“You want me to just cut you out of my life forever? Like you’re some horrible monster I never want to see again? I can’t—”

“We don’t have a choice bud,” Penny was quiet, soothing as she ran her fingers over his wrists and hands, “Tony Stark is a dangerous man and he has more connections and money than we could ever hope to fight. The police won’t help us, the law won’t help us. All we have is this plan and I need you to follow it. I need to be able to trust that you’ll follow the plan, so that you’ll be safe.”

“What about you, Penny!? You won’t be safe! You’re always so worried about, about me being safe and happy that you forget about yourself! Do you understand that you’re telling me you want to go to jail? That you want me to abandon you forever?”

Penny seemed to waiver for just a second, as if she might actually let some tiny ounce of selfishness set in and change her mind, before her resolve hardened once again and she stood, putting herself nearly out of frame, “This is happening, Peter. This is the plan. This is what we’re doing. Because I won’t let him hurt you. I will literally do anything to keep you safe Peter, this doesn’t even make a wave in the pool of batshit crazy I’m willing to go if I need to. I love you. Now go to bed, you have school in the morning.”

[sciencespies]

We might finally know how Jupiter's weird polar storms stay together

https://sciencespies.com/space/we-might-finally-know-how-jupiters-weird-polar-storms-stay-together/

We might finally know how Jupiter's weird polar storms stay together

Jupiter, thick with chaotic clouds and raging with wild winds, is famous and beloved for its gloriously stormy atmosphere. Ever since the Juno space probe arrived there in 2016, we’ve had unprecedented access that’s been helping us understand what drives the gas giant’s insane weather.

But Juno has delivered not just answers, but also more questions. Until the Juno mission, we hadn’t been able to get a good look at Jupiter’s poles. What the space probe saw there was a jaw-dropper: polygonal arrangements of storms at both north and south, circling a storm in the centre.

At Jupiter’s north pole, nine cyclones rage, one in the centre, and eight others arrayed neatly around it, all spinning in a counterclockwise direction.

At the south pole, Juno spotted six storms in 2016, one in the centre, and five arrayed around it. A seventh storm joined the fray sometime in 2019, so now there are six vortices in a hexagonal shape surrounding the central storm. These southern storms are all spinning clockwise.

Since 2016, these huge storms – comparable in size to mainland United States – have persisted, unmerged. And now, as laid out in a new paper, we might finally have a clue as to why.

Jupiter’s arrangement is dissimilar to the other gas giant in the Solar System, Saturn, which only has a single, huge storm at each of its poles. It’s unlike the processes on Earth, too – on our planet, most cyclones form at tropical latitudes, and drift towards the poles, but they dissipate over land and cold ocean zones before they get there.

Since Jupiter has neither land nor cold oceans, it makes sense that its storms would behave differently from Earth, but the question remains – why don’t they merge to create single storms a la Saturn?

Astronomer Cheng Li of the University of California, Berkeley and his colleagues from Caltech ran numerical simulations of the storm configurations, and discovered a set of conditions under which the storms can remain discrete and stable for long periods of time without smooshing together into a mega-storm.

It’s basically a “Goldilocks zone” for Jovian storms.

“We find that the stability of the pattern depends mostly on shielding – an anticyclonic ring around each cyclone – but also on the depth,” the researchers wrote in their paper.

“Too little shielding and small depth lead to merging and loss of the polygonal pattern. Too much shielding causes the cyclonic and anticyclonic parts of the vortices to fly apart. The stable polygons exist in between.”

The team used equations that describe the movement of a single layer of fluid on a sphere, and modelled the polygonal arrangements of vortices. This is not a new thing, but the team added polar geometry and beta drift – the tendency of cyclones to drift due to an increase in the Coriolis force with latitude due to wind speed – into their models, for a more detailed understanding of the dynamics at play on Jupiter.

According to their findings, there are two things at play, and conditions for both have to be just right. The first is, to a smaller extent, the depth of the cyclone – how far it reaches down into the Jovian atmosphere. Too shallow, and the storms will merge.

But the biggest influence on the storms’ sticking power is a phenomenon known as vortex shielding. This is when the vortex – in this case, our Jovian cyclones – is surrounded by a ring moving in the opposite direction. So, each of the counterclockwise cyclones on the north pole is surrounded by a powerful wind blowing around the cyclone in a clockwise direction.

If this shielding is too weak, the storms will merge. If it is too powerful, the storm and its shield will fly apart from each other, resulting in a total storm mess. So, in order to persist, both the depth of the cyclones and the strength of their vortex shields have to be just right.

And thus, another set of mysteries.

“There are many questions we have not answered,” the researchers wrote.

“We have not explored how the cyclones form – whether they form in place or drift up from lower latitudes. Additionally, we have not explained how a steady state is maintained – why the number of cyclones does not increase with time. Furthermore, we have not determined how shielding develops, or why only the Jovian vortices are shielded.”

The team is yet to test their models on actual Juno data. Doing so, however, could lead us to some answers to these deeply intriguing questions.

The research has been published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

#Space

[sasslightertm-a]

VERSES

Here are all of the universes I play Chris in. If you want a thread set in a particular verse, let me know. If you don't see a verse that works for your muse, I'm always happy to make a closed verse for our muses.

Threads within a verse are on their own timeline or sub-verse, especially multiple threads with one partner in a specific verse (since they tend to build their own continuity).

MISC.

v: TEENAGE WASTELAND ( Teen. )

Gen. verse for all the threads in any verse where Chris is a teenager. FC: Dylan Sprayberry

Tag: #v: Teenage Wasteland ( Teen )

v: UNDETERMINED

All threads with an undetermined verse go here.

Tag: #v: Undetermined

CANON/MAIN

v: BACK IN TIME ( Main / Season 6. )

Follows the canon storyline for season six, picking up after Chris has established himself as the Charmed Ones' Whitelighter and (reluctantly) helped them rescue Leo from Valhalla.

Note: I play Chris as if the Charmed Ones and Leo are still unaware of his true identity.

Tag: #v: Back in Time ( Main )

Subverse: SEE THESE EYES SO GREEN ( Werepanther!Chris )

v: IF I CAN’T SAVE YOU, I SWEAR I’LL STOP YOU ( Unchanged Future. )

Chris’s older brother Wyatt has turned evil and taken over both the magical and mortal communities (the Twice-Blessed Child is now akin to the Source of All Evil). Chris is secretly trying to come up with a plan to save Wyatt all while trying to survive.

Tag: #v: If I Can’t Save You I Swear I’ll Stop You ( Unchanged Future )

v: CHARMED LEGACY ( Changed Future. )

Chris grew up battling demons and other forces of evil alongside his older brother Wyatt, younger sister Melinda, and his assorted cousins, carrying on the Charmed Ones’ legacy once Piper, Phoebe, and Paige “retired” from magical work.

Although he doesn't serve as a Whitelighter, Chris will often take it upon himself to help out new witches who are just growing into their powers.

Tag: #v: Charmed Legacy ( Changed Future )

CANON AU

v: HE’S FALLEN FROM GRACE TILL THE END OF ALL HIS DAYS ( Evil!Chris / Mirror Universe. )

Chris is a Darklighter-witch and serves as an assassin, taking out witches, Whitelighters, and demons. He cannot heal; instead, he has the ability to kill his victims with a touch.

Tag: #v: He’s Fallen From Grace Till the End of All His Days ( Evil!Chris )

v: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ( “Morality Bites” timeline. )

Magic was exposed in 2009 when Phoebe Halliwell used her powers to kill Cal Greene. While a local D.A. Nathaniel Pratt began a modern-day witch hunt as a platform for political office, many witches went further underground. Others decided they'd had enough of hiding and it was time to fight back.

Chris has gone into hiding, only using his magic when it's strictly necessary.

Tag: #v: All Hell Breaks Loose ( Morality Bites AU )

AU

v: STUDENTLIGHTER ( College AU. )

Chris is attending college at UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles) for their nursing program. As such, he is a School of Nursing student (going for a Bachelor of Science as an undergrad and a Masters Entry Clinical Nurse for his masters/graduate). He's also working his way through school with a part-time job at a strip club. However, studies tend to become rather difficult when magical hijinks keep ensuing.

Tag: #v: Studentlighter ( College )

v: BLOOD WITCH ( SWEEP series AU. )

Chris Halliwell is the second-born child to Piper and Leo Halliwell, and the latest in the Warren line—a powerful line of hereditary "blood witches". Chris is half-Woodbane through his mother (one of the Seven Great Clans)—and while he's not as powerful as his mother, aunts, or his older brother, he is very knowledgeable about the Craft and is very skilled with his own magick.

Tag: #v: Blood Witch ( Sweep series AU )

CROSSOVER

v: SAVING PEOPLE, HUNTING THINGS ( Supernatural. )

After a spell gone awry in an attempt to escape Wyatt’s forces, Chris has found himself in an entirely different universe. He still has his witchlighter powers and has (eventually) found himself working alongside Dean and Sam Winchester and the angel Castiel.

Tag: #v: Saving People Hunting Things ( Spn )

v: I’M FIGHTING THIS WAR SINCE THE DAY OF THE FALL ( Freeform’s Shadowhunters. )

Chris has moved to New York City partly to get away from Wyatt and Leo, partly to investigate the increase in demonic activity. While there he encounters the Shadowhunters, the Institute, learns about the war with Valentine; and does whatever he can to help: hunt demons, protect Downworlders, make sure Valentine doesn't succeed in obtaining the rest of the Mortal Instruments, keep news of his location hidden from his older brother... And he has to try not to seriously injure anyone who refers to him as a warlock.

Note: Have watched up to s2e14 in TV canon.

Tag: #v: I’m Fighting This War Since the Day of the Fall ( Shadowhunters )

v: I DON’T CARE IF HEAVEN WON’T TAKE ME BACK ( The Mortal Instruments. )

Chris has time-traveled back to 2007 on orders from the Elders. His mission: watch over a certain group of Nephilim from the New York Institute and do whatever he can to guide and help in the Mortal War. After Valentine is killed by Raziel, Chris shifts his focus to fighting against Jonathan Morgenstern (aka Sebastian) in the Dark War alongside the Shadowhunters and Downworlders.

Note: Have read up to City of Fallen Angels in main series, The Bane Chronicles, and Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Tag: #v: I Don’t Care if Heaven Won’t Take Me Back ( The Mortal Instruments )

v: INSANITY IS ALL AROUND US ( MTV’s Teen Wolf. )

Piper decided to move the boys to Beacon Hills, California, when Chris was just about to start sophomore year at his old high school. It's not long before the teenage witchlighter realizes there's something supernatural about Beacon Hills and winds up getting himself involved in the drama between bitten Beta werewolf Scott McCall and his pack, werewolf hunters, and other hijinks.

Note: Chris' default age for this verse will be 16+. It will primarily follow season 1 & 2 of Teen Wolf, but I can easily jump around in the series' timeline.

Tag: #v: Insanity Is All Around Us ( Teen Wolf )

CLOSED

v: Southern Style Black Magic ( lovelycajunnurse. )

Magical Roma aren't supposed to have Whitelighters, but Chris was never really one for following the Elders' rules. His most recent charge is Bailey Thibodeaux, a Roma that lives in Florida (and who is originally from Louisiana).

Tag: #v: Southern Style Black Magic

v: Dual War ( naturalblcnde. )

It started after San Francisco fell and the SF Institute fell with it. That’s when the Clave began to accept that Wyatt Halliwell was indeed a threat, not just to the witches sequestered in that area. When they tried to resettle in New York, Wyatt attacked them too.

It was then the Clave and the few leaders the witches had came to an agreement. Teams of witches and Shadowhunters in equal measure were formed, fighting the hordes of relentless evil even as they were cut down. Witches took Shadowhunter runes, Shadowhunters made witches potions and helped to make one that activated , both learning to utilize and share their respective skills. Teams became family, witch and Shadowhunter bloodlines mixing and forming a new type of warrior.

Chris Halliwell has been partnered with Jace Wayland, a Shadowhunter and the team leader. Unbeknownst to the Clave, they've come up with a way to prevent this war from ever happening: Chris travels back in time to save his older brother.

Everything goes downhill after that.

Tag: #v: Dual War ( naturalblcnde )

[suburbantimewaster]

This is a drawing done by ForeverMedhok who’s also working on a picture of Amana.  This picture is for my original fiction, Return of the Greek Gods Book 1, and, in this scene Tess is talking to her parents on the mirror while healing her familiar, Noah.

Tess leaned back on a tree, reading her textbook as she heard her bag vibrate.  She put her textbook down and took her mirror out to see the faces of a woman with sandy brown hair and a man with golden blonde hair on the other side, a bedroom right behind them.

"Mom, Dad, how are you?" Tess asked with a smile.  "Enjoying your trip in the mortal world?"

"Yes, it's been very exciting!" her mother, Serena, told her gleefully.  "How about you?  Enjoying your studies?"

"Afraid not," Tess admitted.  "Don't get me wrong, I'd love nothing more than to become a healer, but it is hard work."

"Hang in there," her father, Darren, told her with a smile.  "It will all be worth it in the end."

Tess couldn't help but return the smile until a nearby dove walked by with an injured wing.  She turned to the dove and stroked him with her free hand, concentrating her magic on the injury as the bone tissue healed.  "Noah, what happened?" she asked him concerned.

The usual, out for my morning fly when I get my wing caught in a tree branch, he told her.

"So, what happened to Noah?" Serena asked.

"He just told us," Tess said, turning to her mirror with confusion.

"No, he told you," Serena corrected.

Tess contemplated what Serena meant by that until it clicked in her head.

"Oh," she realized, giggling at her momentary lapse of ignorance.  "Sorry, I forgot that not everyone can hear familiars."

"Only people with magic inside them," Darren informed her.  "Though, in your case, only you can hear Noah."

"That's because he's contracted exclusively to me!" Tess said, beaming with pride.  "Were he an independent familiar, that wouldn't be the case."

It doesn't hurt that you were only one of three applicants, Noah told her.  Doves aren't really a popular familiar choice.

Tess only smiled at Noah and then turned back to her parents.  "So, how is the mortal world?" she asked excitedly.  "Tell me everything!"

"Well, mortals do have ways of getting along without magic," Serena said appreciatively.  "For instance, did you know that they have these phones that not only call people, but allow you to listen to music and play all sorts of games on?"

Darren laughed.  "Your mother wanted to get one, but I didn't see the point when we have this trusty mirror," he said to her.

"It's a good thing I wasn't there," Tess told him with a chuckle.  "I might have wanted to get one of those myself."

"I'll never understand why you and your mother have such a fascination with mortal technology," Darren said to her with a shake of his head.

"Because it's new and exciting!" her mother told him gleefully.

"She said it!" Tess said with the same glee.

"Okay, I'll give you that," Darren agreed.  "But nothing mortals come up with can ever be as reliable as our magic."

"Isn't that a bit anti-mortal?" Tess asked, feeling a little alarmed.

"I didn't mean for it to be," Darren defended.  "It's just that mortals don't have the advantages we do, so they have to rely on science and technology to achieve what we can easily get through magic."

He does have a point, Noah told Tess.

"And we're going to see it all on display at the California Academy of Sciences!" Serena bragged with her head held high.

"I thought we were going to the Museum of Modern Art," Darren said, turning to face Serena.

"What is it with you and mortal art?" Serena asked.

"It's the only magic shared with witches and mortals," Darren explained with a smile.

"Well, they both sound amazing!" Tess said with glee until her mirror vibrated.  "Love to hear more, but it's almost time for class."

"Bye, Tess," Serena said.

"Hope our fun trip doesn't distract you from your studies," Darren told her.

"Bye mom, bye dad," she said to them.  "Have fun in the mortal realm!"

Tess turned the mirror off and placed it and her textbook back in her bag.

So, what's your next class? Noah asked her.

"History," Tess told Noah as she got up from the ground, taking her bag with her.  "Definitely not one of my favorite classes."

So I have to spend more time flying around waiting for you to come back, Noah said bitterly as he flew away right when Tess got to the door.

"At least you get exercise," Tess told him as she walked back into the building.  "I have to listen to the professor prattle on about horrible stuff that doesn't even matter."

If you want to be a great healer, you have to learn about what happened in the past, Noah told her exasperatedly.

"You sound just like my professor," Tess said, entering the building.

Don't forget to speak to me with your mind when you're inside, Noah reminded her.

"Why?" Tess asked as she walked down the hall.  "You're right outside and you can hear everything I say."

Because people walking by you will think you're insane, Noah told her as if it were obvious.

"Right, of course," Tess said and then added mentally.  Thought speak from now on.

[fascinatingfantrash-blog]

Going to California

This is a part of @imamotherfuckingstar-lord song challenge.  I picked the song Going to California by Led Zeppelin and the character Leonard ‘Bones’ Mccoy, I might turn this into a series but idk let me know <3

The post 

Song

People who might like this : @yourtropegirl @kaitymccoy123 @enterprisewriting

Spent my days with a woman unkind

Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.

This wasn't his forte- being spontaneous, making split second decisions. Bones liked to have a plan, he liked to know exactly what was going to happen. The uncertainty of everything was very confusing. Scary mostly. Because for once he wasn't listening to his mind when it came to Jocelyn. He wasn't listening when his brain screamed to him that he’d been saying the same sentence three times, just in different intensities and that repeating a sentence doesn't have any affect. He didn't hear his mind scream that Joanna was in the room and could probably hear them fight. He didn't listen to Jo when she told him that she wanted a divorce and that she would never have cheated if he hadn't been working all the damn time as he threw clothes into his suitcase. He didn't listen to his brain whisper that he didn't actually know if he ever would see his sweet peach again when he hugged Joanna and wiped her tears before he drove off.

Now here he was, in a field in the middle of nowhere crying about his failed marriage. Another winner for lowest moments in his life. To be fair it could be worse. It’s not like she cheated on him with his co-worker and would potentially take his daughter away from him and also almost all his life savings.. Of course not that would be insane and cold hearted and cruel.

Not that that wasn't Joce.

So there sat Leonard, in a field of tall grass with the faint smell of burnt rubber from the tires of his car thinking about how the hell he’d fallen in and out of love with this woman. And contemplating how the hell he was going to go home. He needed to be at Starfleet Academy in 2 weeks, and right now he didn’t exactly have the money to get on a flight. Not to mention his fear of flying. God only knows why he tortured himself.

Hey Len y’know how afraid you’re of space, why don’t ya become a doctor on a spaceship? Oh and ya know how you deal terribly with heartbreak? Well why don’t ya marry a woman who’s a sneaky conniving little bitch and have her rip your heart into shreds and…

The hell Len you’re getting a divorce not a death sentence. Calm down.

He took a deep breath and opened his clenched fists. He could always drive to California, it wouldn’t take him very long. He did have a map in his car and enough money for gas and food. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his sweaty grass stained palms.

This was Joanna’s trick. She always said that if you close your eyes and make a wish a fairy would come and help you.

For a man of science Len, you're really pushing your luck right now.

He sighed and whispered softly against his palms. “Help me, please.”

“Well that depends on if you stole that car or not.”

He quickly removed his hands from his face and opened his eyes. In front of him stood a woman. A beautiful woman. A very short woman.

Someone told me there's a girl out there

With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

Didn't think fairies came in human sizes.

“What?”

“Well if you're asking for help cause you stole the car I won’t help you. But if ya need directions I will.”

He blinked at her, unsure on how to react. “Uh I just need to replace the back tire. You know if there’s a mechanic nearby?”

This was ridiculous.

“Yup.”

“Ya gonna tell me where?”

“You’re looking right at her.” the woman grinned. She hiked her long skirt up and bit and made her way up the tiny hill and to the car behind Len. “Um you're real right?” He mumbled in shock as he followed her.

“Real as any regular human can be.” she replied patting the trunk of the car so Len could open it.

“And.. you're not a fairy right?” he asked.

Hell Len of course she’s not.

The girl turned to look at him, a small smile on her face. “I’m flattered but no darling I am not. Now, do you have a wrench?” she asked crouching down.

“Uh yeah right.” he opened the dashboard of his car, completely confused.

“Thank you.” she replied and began to work on the tire.

“Okay so I know I seem like a good samaritan but I need a favor which is why I am helping you.“ she says as she pulls the tire off the car and takes the replacement.

“Sure.” he replied, obviously not thinking.

She fits the tire and whacks it a bit to make sure it’s in place.

“I need to get to California, I’m going to join Starfleet academy as a botanist and judging by your bumper sticker you’re headed there too. May I please join you?”

Leonard liked, glancing at the sticker she was talking about. Joanna had made that. It was a little version of the starfleet logo and a stethoscope and the words “Space doctor to be“ in her little scrawl.

He looked at the woman, eyes scrutinizing her face. She merely smiled back at him, eyes big and hopeful.

He looked to the skies above and considered his options.

EIther travel alone and swim in self pity or go with a complete stranger and keep his mind busy.

“What the hell.” he shrugged and opened the side door.

“Yay! Okay now stay here I need to get my suitcase, it’s by the creek.” she squealed jumping up and down and giving him a quick hug before she sprinted off.

Made up my mind to make a new start

Going To California with an aching in my heart

A/n : I am aware i switched the order of the lyrics but just go with it <3

[deniscollins]

Chinese Scientist Claims to Use Crispr to Make First Genetically Edited Babies

The United States and many other countries have made it illegal to deliberately alter the genes of human embryos, but it is not against the law to do so in China. A scientist in China announced that he had created the world’s first genetically edited babies, twin girls who were born this month. He had altered a gene in the embryos, before having them implanted in the mother’s womb, with the goal of making the babies resistant to infection with H.I.V. If human embryos can be routinely edited, many scientists, ethicists and policymakers fear a slippery slope to a future in which babies are genetically engineered for traits — like athletic or intellectual prowess — that have nothing to do with preventing devastating medical conditions. Should the U.S.: (1) continue to ban genetically edited babies, (2) allow genetically edited babies for any reason, or (3) allow only for health reasons? Why? What are the ethics underlying your decision?

Ever since scientists created the powerful gene editing technique Crispr, they have braced apprehensively for the day when it would be used to create a genetically altered human being. Many nations banned such work, fearing it could be misused to alter everything from eye color to I.Q.

Now, the moment they feared may have come. On Monday, a scientist in China announced that he had created the world’s first genetically edited babies, twin girls who were born this month.

The researcher, He Jiankui, said that he had altered a gene in the embryos, before having them implanted in the mother’s womb, with the goal of making the babies resistant to infection with H.I.V. He has not published the research in any journal and did not share any evidence or data that definitively proved he had done it.

But his previous work is known to many experts in the field, who said — many with alarm — that it was entirely possible he had.

“It’s scary,” said Dr. Alexander Marson, a gene editing expert at the University of California in San Francisco.

While the United States and many other countries have made it illegal to deliberately alter the genes of human embryos, it is not against the law to do so in China, but the practice is opposed by many researchers there. A group of 122 Chinese scientists issued a statement calling Dr. He’s actions “crazy” and his claims “a huge blow to the global reputation and development of Chinese science.”

If human embryos can be routinely edited, many scientists, ethicists and policymakers fear a slippery slope to a future in which babies are genetically engineered for traits — like athletic or intellectual prowess — that have nothing to do with preventing devastating medical conditions.

While those possibilities might seem far in the future, a different concern is urgent and immediate: safety. The methods used for gene editing can inadvertently alter other genes in unpredictable ways. Dr. He said that did not happen in this case, but it is a worry that looms over the field.

Dr. He made his announcement on the eve of the Second International Summit on Human Genome Editing in Hong Kong, saying that he had recruited several couples in which the man had H.I.V. and then used in vitro fertilization to create human embryos that were resistant to the virus that causes AIDS. He said he did it by directing Crispr-Cas9 to deliberately disable a gene, known as CCR₅, that is used to make a protein H.I.V. needs to enter cells.

Dr. He said the experiment worked for a couple whose twin girls were born in November. He said there were no adverse effects on other genes.

In a video that he posted, Dr. He said the father of the twins has a reason to live now that he has children, and that people with H.I.V. face severe discrimination in China.

Dr. He’s announcement was reported earlier by the MIT Technology Review and The Associated Press.

In an interview with the A.P. he indicated that he hoped to set an example to use genetic editing for valid reasons. “I feel a strong responsibility that it’s not just to make a first, but also make it an example,” he told the A.P. He added: “Society will decide what to do next.”

It is highly unusual for a scientist to announce a groundbreaking development without at least providing data that academic peers can review. Dr. He said he had gotten permission to do the work from the ethics board of the hospital Shenzhen Harmonicare, but the hospital, in interviews with Chinese media, denied being involved. Cheng Zhen, the general manager of Shenzhen Harmonicare, has asked the police to investigate what they suspect are “fraudulent ethical review materials,” according to the Beijing News.

The university that Dr. He is attached to, the Southern University of Science and Technology, said Dr. He has been on no-pay leave since February and that the school of biology believed that his project “is a serious violation of academic ethics and academic norms,” according to the state-run Beijing News.

In a statement late on Monday, China’s national health commission said it has asked the health commission in southern Guangdong province to investigate Mr. He’s claims.

Many scientists in the United States were appalled by the developments.

“I think that’s completely insane,” said Shoukhrat Mitalipov, director of the Center for Embryonic Cell and Gene Therapy at Oregon Health and Science University. Dr. Mitalipov broke new ground last year by using gene editing to successfully remove a dangerous mutation from human embryos in a laboratory dish.

Dr. Mitalipov said that unlike his own work, which focuses on editing out mutations that cause serious diseases that cannot be prevented any other way, Dr. He did not do anything medically necessary. There are other ways to prevent H.I.V. infection in newborns.

Just three months ago, at a conference in late August on genome engineering at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory in New York, Dr. He presented work on editing the CCR₅ gene in the embryos of nine couples.

At the conference, whose organizers included Jennifer Doudna, one of the inventors of Crispr technology, Dr. He gave a careful talk about something that fellow attendees considered squarely within the realm of ethically approved research, said one of those who attended, Dr. Fyodor Urnov, deputy director of the Altius Institute for Biomedical Sciences and a visiting researcher at the Innovative Genomics Institute at the University of California, Berkeley.

“If you listened to his talk, it is this very cautious, thoughtful, step-by-step advance,” Dr. Urnov said. “He presented embryo editing of CCR₅. He was presenting the talk to peers, professional gene editors who know that the field is advancing rapidly, so frankly the atmosphere in the room was, I don’t want to say ho-hum, but it was ‘Yeah, sure, you’ve built on ten years of advances.’”

But he did not mention that some of those embryos had been implanted in a woman and could result in genetically engineered babies.

“What we now know is that as he was talking, there was a woman in China carrying twins,” Dr. Urnov said. “He had the opportunity to say ‘Oh and by the way, I’m just going to come out and say it, people, there’s a woman carrying twins.’”

“I would never play poker against Dr. He,” Dr. Urnov quipped.

Richard Hynes, a cancer researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who co-led an advisory group on human gene editing for the National Academy of Sciences and the National Academy of Medicine, said that group and a similar organization in Britain had determined that if human genes were to be edited, the procedure should only be done to address “serious unmet needs in medical treatment, it had to be well monitored, it had to be well followed up, full consent has to be in place.”

It is not clear why altering genes to make people resistant to H.I.V. is “a serious unmet need.” Men with H.I.V. do not infect embryos. Their semen contains the virus that causes AIDS, which can infect women, but the virus can be washed off their sperm before insemination. Or a doctor can inject a single sperm into an egg. In either case, the woman will not be infected and neither will the babies.

Dr. He got his Ph.D., from Rice University, in physics and his postdoctoral training, at Stanford, was with Stephen Quake, a professor of bioengineering and applied physics who works on sequencing DNA, not editing it.

Experts said that using Crispr would actually be quite easy for someone like Dr. He.

After coming to Shenzhen in 2012, Dr. He, at age 28, established a DNA sequencing company, Direct Genomics, and listed Dr. Quake on its advisory board. But, in a telephone interview on Monday, Dr. Quake said he was never associated with the company.

[flauntpage]

Amateurism Isn't Educational: Debunking the NCAA's Dumbest Lie

By now, you've probably heard many of the National Collegiate Athletic Association's justifications for amateurism, the ancient Greek ideal of letting coaches like Nick Saban collect six-figure salaries while limiting compensation to the athletes who do the actual on-field work in the billion-dollar economy of big-time campus sports to the value of their scholarships.

Pay players, the NCAA warns, and the delicate competitive balance between the University of Akron and Ohio State University will implode. Athletic departments—like the one at the University of Texas, which earned $183.5 million in revenue in 2014-15—will go broke. Athletes might even have to pay income taxes, and really, who wants extra cash if it means hassling with W-2 forms? And perhaps most the risible reason yet: if we compensate athletes, their educations will suffer.

Former United States Naval Academy player and retired NBA Hall of Famer David Robinson chuckled out loud when VICE Sports recently asked him about that last one.

"Would getting paid [as a college basketball player] have affected my ability to study?" he said. "No. I don't think so."

But here's the thing: the NCAA isn't joking. It's painting itself as an academic guardian, and that tactic is working, at least in federal antitrust court.

Remember the federal class-action lawsuit brought by former University of California, Los Angeles basketball star Ed O'Bannon against the NCAA? The landmark case that sought to allow college athletes to be paid for the use of their name, images, and likenesses (or NILs) in television broadcasts and video games?

While arguing that no, actually, people like O'Bannon should not get a bigger slice of the money pie, the NCAA's lawyers insisted that the current one-small-size-fits-all portion doled out to players somehow enhances their schooling. And believe it or not, the three-judge panel that oversaw an association appeal of the case agreed—at least enough to overturn an original injunction from U.S. District Judge Claudia Wilken that would have permitted schools to pay players at least $5,000 a year in deferred cash. Instead, the panel decreed that all college athlete compensation must be tethered to educational expenses.

There's more. The same tether could apply to a pending class-action suit brought against the NCAA and the major college conferences by former Clemson University football player Martin Jenkins, a case that essentially seeks to bring free agency to campus sports. Which means that the ludicrous logic of "if we write them checks, they won't study" could end up acting as a legal firewall that prevents college players from ever being paid.

"It's insane," says David Grenardo, a 40-year-old attorney and associate professor at St. Mary's School of Law in San Antonio, Texas, who played football at Rice University in the 1990s. "What the NCAA has done is a great job of marketing and propaganda to say that amateurism is all about education."

College sports have a long history of making the basic claim that amateurism and education are intrinsically linked. In 1953, the Colorado Supreme Court ruled that injured University of Denver football player Ernest Nemeth was eligible to receive workers' compensation. Petrified of the financial ramifications, the NCAA created the term "student-athlete," a signal to courts and the public alike that Nemeth and his peers were simply young scholars who happened to be very good at sports—think undergrads tossing a frisbee on the quad, only with 50,000 paying spectators—and not de-facto school employees entitled to pay and legal protections.

Little has changed in the 60 years since. During the O'Bannon case, NCAA lawyers argued that amateurism rules "focus [athletes] on spending their time doing what students do, rather than trying to make as much money as possible, which is what professionals do." While testifying, University of South Carolina president Harris Pastides said that paying players would create a "wedge" between them and their classmates, and make uncompensated, non-revenue-sport athletes feel "worse about themselves." NCAA president Mark Emmert, meanwhile, fretted that if an "athlete was being paid and it changed significantly their lifestyle, they probably would not be living in a residence hall. They probably would not be eating in the cafeteria, they probably would not be as—as active a member or participant in the life of a campus."

Translation? If we pay them, they won't hang out on the quad. The. Horror.

Mark Emmert (left) and Harris Pastides are deeply worried about where paid college athletes might choose to eat. Photo by Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

In an Oregon Law Review article—and over the phone, too—Grenardo picks apart the NCAA's argument connecting a lack of compensation and enhanced academics. Exhibit A? His own experience at Rice.

Coming out of high school, Grenardo could have gone to Harvard University, but he chose Rice because he had dreams of playing in the NFL, and the Houston-based school then played in the Southwestern Conference alongside powerhouse programs like the University of Texas.

During Grenardo's junior season, he won the top student-athlete award for football; that same year, he struggled to make ends meet. Every month, he received a $385 check from Rice to cover his expenses, including a $300 share of the rent for an apartment he lived in with two other athletes. "It was supposed to pay for utilities, gas, and lunches," he says. "That never made it."

Being paid to play football, Grenardo says, wouldn't have made him study less or spend extra time on the sport, but it would have made his life as a student easier. "I would have had money to go to a movie or buy food," he says.

According to a report from Georgetown University's Center on Education and the Workforce, between 70 and 80 percent of college students are active in the labor market. Roughly 40 percent of undergraduates work at least 30 hours a week, while 25 percent of all students enrolled on a full-time basis also work full time. Some of those employees—a cohort that once included yours truly, who worked at the Georgetown bookstore—even get paid for campus jobs.

The NCAA's member schools don't prohibit any of those students from making money. Because that would be utterly ridiculous. Why, Grenardo asks, are athletes treated differently? Because they're especially good at catching footballs?

During the O'Bannon trial, Stanford University athletic director and amateurism advocate Bernard Muir was questioned by players' attorney Renae Steiner about computer-science students at his school earning income from software they developed in class, a pretty fair analogue for playing revenue sports. It did not go well:

Steiner: "Are you aware that some of those students at Stanford were making $3,000 a day on their apps?"

Muir: "[I] was not aware of that."

Steiner: "And they were making more than the professor teaching them in that class?"

Muir: "Okay. I will take your word for it."

Steiner: "Okay. Do you know if those students are no longer integrated into the academic community at Stanford?"

Muir: "I would assume that they are."

"It's crazy, the idea that if we put $20,000, $30,000, $40,000 into the pockets of these athletes who don't have a lot of money, who knows what they will do with it," Grenardo says. "Even at my law school, some of my students have better cars than me. Nobody says about kids who are affluent, 'Oh my God, we need to rein this in.'"

Last year, Emmert took his employer's logic to its dopiest possible conclusion and claimed that paying college athletes would make them no longer students at all, presumably because simultaneously (a) playing campus sports, (b) being paid for playing that sport, and (c) being a college student would require a heretofore unknown quantum state.

Except: former University of Michigan basketball player Juwan Howard finished his undergraduate degree during his rookie year with the Washington Bullets, the same year he earned $1.31 million playing basketball. Likewise, former University of North Carolina basketball player Antawn Jamison (career earnings: $142.5 million) completed his degree while playing in the NBA. So did former UNC players Vince Carter ($169.6 million) and Jerry Stackhouse ($84.5 million), former Colgate University player Adonal Foyle ($63.4 million), and former Georgetown player Jeff Green ($50.3 million).

Or take John Urschel. As an offensive lineman for the Baltimore Ravens, he made $726,000 last season—and as a student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, he's currently pursuing a doctorate in applied mathematics.

Urschel previously played football at Penn State University, where he earned bachelor's and master's degrees, taught undergraduate math courses, and never missed a game. On Saturday nights, he recalls, he would retreat to his office in the school's math building, the better to catch up on his homework. "My friends would come by and try to bring me out, and it would be 1 AM," Urschel says. "I would always swoop in for last call [at bars].

"I loved my college experience, but it was a grind. What I have to do with MIT and the NFL is much easier than what I had to do in college in terms of time."

John Urschel, courageously overcoming NFL paychecks to pursue a doctorate at MIT. Photo by Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Hold up. By the NCAA's reasoning, Penn State should have been easier—because as NCAA vice president Oliver Luck has said, paychecks and the "opportunity to do an autograph signing, or an endorsement, really distracts that young person from what's really important, which is the educational component."

Isn't that right, John Urschel?

"It's not even—"

Urschel pauses. At MIT, he's focusing on numerical linear algebra, machine learning, and spectral graph theory, whatever the heck that is. Nevertheless, right now he sounds stumped.

"I'm not sure how to—"

Another, longer pause.

"No," Urschel says. "I don't believe so. But it feels like a ridiculous question to me, to be perfectly honest."

Speaking of ridiculous, on its website the NCAA says that "maintaining amateurism is crucial to preserving an academic environment in which acquiring a quality education is the first priority." Great. If that's true, then college sports should be relatively free of academic compromise and malfeasance.

After all, they're already amateur.

Except: a 2014 report from South Carolina's College Sports Research Institute found that the graduation rate of football players in the Power Five conferences was 20 percent lower than that of their non-athlete counterparts; for men's basketball players, the graduation rate in major conferences was 31.5 percent lower.

Three years ago, the NCAA reportedly was investigating 20 cases of academic fraud at its member schools, 18 of them at Division I institutions. One of those schools, the University of North Carolina, was placed on academic probation by its accreditation body—the first Tier 1 research university to receive such a penalty. UNC remains under NCAA investigation for a massive scandal in which hundreds of athletes over a 23-year period were steered toward bogus "paper classes" that never met and required students to produce single, end-of-semester papers, which often were plagiarized or written by others and sometimes graded by non-faculty members.

None of this is new. When former North Carolina athletes Rashanda McCants and Devon Ramsay sued the school and the NCAA in 2015 over the paper classes scandal, their 100-page complaint cited 26 different examples of academic malfeasance at schools ranging from the University of Michigan to Texas Tech University. Among the cases was a University of Georgia class taught by an assistant basketball coach in which several of his players received A's despite rarely attending—and were given a final exam that included the question "How many goals are on a basketball court?"

While researching Billion-Dollar Ball, his book on big-time college football, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Gil Gaul spent a morning walking around the University of Kansas' 1,000-acre campus with "class checkers" (an athletic department official called them "varsity ambassadors") who stood outside classroom doors and had revenue-sport athletes sign sheets of paper confirming when they entered and exited their classes.

Sure sounds like an environment where preventing athletes from being paid is ensuring that quality educations are the first priority, doesn't it?

Pay players like coaches, and academics will be imperiled. Photo by Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

There are real reasons why players struggle academically, and they have nothing to do with money. When a regional director of the National Labor Relations Board ruled in 2014 that football players at Northwestern University qualified as school employees under federal labor law, he did so partially because they spent 40 to 50 hours a week on their sport during the season and up to 25 hours a week during the spring semester, compared to 20 hours a week on academics.

That wasn't an anomaly: in a 2011 survey by the NCAA, athletes in big-time football and basketball programs reported that they spent, on average, more than 40 hours a week on sports and about 38 hours on school; a recent Pac-12 survey found that athletes in the conference spent an average of 50 hours a week on their sports, and often were "too exhausted to study effectively."

Grenardo graduated from Rice with degrees in political science and policy studies, and earned a 3.57 grade-point average. "But I could have done much better without football," he says. The sport was a grind: training camp double sessions in Houston's 100-degree, 90 percent humidity heat; road games that began with Friday afternoon walkthroughs in the opponent's stadium and ended when the team returned to campus late Saturday night or early Sunday morning; daily afternoon practices that made taking classes after 2:00 PM impossible, and almost always included a blocking drill that saw Grenardo and his fellow defensive backs spend ten minutes head-ramming each other.

"Usually, by the end of every day my head and body were so worn out that I didn't have the ability to think straight," he says. "I would do all my homework on Sundays, just a mad dash to catch up.

"When I got to law school, my first day of class ended at like, three or four in the afternoon. I literally felt like I was on vacation. You mean I can go to class, and afterward, I can just study? It was strange to me."

Law professor and former Rice football player David Grenardo. Courtesy David Grenardo

The desire to win—which, again, is unrelated to player pay—also leads schools to admit talented athletes who are woefully unprepared for college. A 2014 CNN analysis of the SAT and ACT entrance exam scores of football and basketball players at 21 NCAA schools found that between 7 and 18 percent were reading at an elementary-school level. Those numbers are lower than what former North Carolina learning specialist turned whistleblower Mary Willingham said she found when she studied 183 football and basketball players who attended the school from 2004 to 2012: 60 percent read between fourth- and eighth-grade levels, while about 10 percent read below a third-grade level.

That doesn't surprise University of Oklahoma professor Gerry Gurney. Over the last 31 years, he has worked in academic support for athletes at four major schools—Oklahoma, Iowa State University, Southern Methodist University, and the University of Maryland—and served as the president of both the National Association of Academic Advisors for Athletics and the Drake Group, a national advocacy origination of academics whose mission is to protect academic integrity within campus sports.

Shortly after starting his first academic counseling job at Iowa State, Gurney noticed something odd about the school's football and men's basketball players: "None of them were reading." Puzzled, he gave the athletes reading tests. "I found that 95 percent of them were reading below the tenth-grade level, which is the level at which college textbooks are aimed," Gurney says. Ten percent were functionally illiterate.

"The admission of unprepared students is the original sin in big-time sports," he says. "We know damn well—and college presidents know damn well—that schools are admitting athletes to competitive institutions that have no business being successful students there."

Gurney created a remedial education program at Iowa State and saw some success. But too many universities, he says, refuse to be honest about what truly hurts athletes' educations. Instead, they funnel time-strapped, unprepared young men into what he and others have dubbed an "eligibility curriculum"—a campus-by-campus patchwork of undemanding courses, friendly professors, overly helpful tutors, lavish study halls, and substance-free majors that keeps athletes eligible to play under NCAA academic standards, while leaving them with substandard educations and Potemkin degrees.

None of this is the result of some quarterback somewhere getting a cash handshake from a friendly booster.

"It's absolute lip service from the NCAA when they say they are about education," Gurney says.

Does the college sports establishment even believe its own malarkey? Not entirely. University of Notre Dame president John Jenkins told the New York Times that permitting player pay would be an "Armageddon" that "does some violence to [the] educational relationship" between athletes and their schools—but school athletic director Jack Swarbrick told VICE Sports at a campus sports reform meeting in Washington, D.C., that he doesn't think there's a link between amateurism and education. The NCAA touted education as its raison d'être in the O'Bannon case, but responded to McCants and Ramsay's lawsuit over the North Carolina scandal by arguing in federal court that it has no legal duty to make sure said education is actually delivered.

"This is the underlying lie of the NCAA," says Michael Hausfeld, the Washington, D.C.-based antitrust attorney who headed the O'Bannon case and is also the lead litigator on McCants and Ramsay's suit. "Up until we filed the North Carolina case, you had the NCAA saying they are there for the welfare of athletes as students. Now they say they have nothing to do with that. You can't be more of a hypocrite."

Jack Swarbrick doesn't see a link between education and amateurism. Photo by Matt Cashore-USA TODAY Sports

In fact, allowing payer play could actually help athletes be better students. How so? Former NFL player Shawn Stuckey grew up poor, and told VICE Sports that one time he sold his own blood plasma to make ends meet while playing college football. "There was no NCAA prohibition on that," he said. A paycheck certainly would have helped. Likewise, more money arguably would encourage athletes like former University of Kansas basketball player Ben McLemore—who loved college but jumped to the NBA after his sophomore year largely to help support his impoverished family—to stay in school longer.

NCAA schools already pay coaches bonuses for their players' academic performance. Why, Grenardo asks, shouldn't that cash go directly to the athletes actually sitting through classes? Instead of banning player pay, why not hand out $5,000 for making the academic all-conference team, $10,000 for graduating, $20,000 for landing on the dean's list?

"I don't want to exaggerate this as being a reason for saying [amateurism] rules should be struck down, but I certainly believe there could be some academic benefit for letting students be compensated," says Jeffrey Kessler, the lead attorney on the Jenkins case that's seeking free agency in college sports. "We have a lot of evidence that students who come from higher-income backgrounds tend to do better in school.

"A lot of [athletes] comes from very poor backgrounds—and the extent to which they are under financial stress for themselves or their families and others, and that is relieved in some way, you maybe can focus more on your studies and your education without worrying, I don't think it would be a negative. I think it could only be a positive."

All it would take, Grenardo says, is for the NCAA to stop pretending that it's a self-styled, tough-love parent permanently withholding players' allowances in order to make sure they do their homework—and for federal judges and everyone else to quit playing along with the association's cynical ruse.

"If the NCAA really cared about education," he says with a laugh, "they would quit scheduling football games on every day of the week."

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