#every day I'm alive I can look forward to changing in fundamental ways I once thought immutable facets of my existence.

[neverendingford]

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[honhonluigi]

I'm curious. You've said you dislike religion (which is valid as fuck and I have the same opinion), but if that's the case then why is Angie one of your favorite characters?

(I don't mean anything offensive or anything by this, by the way! If it makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it.)

No, no, man, I totally get it. I’m sure it looks confusing from the outside. I can explain myself no problem. 

I guess it’s probably important to give a little explanation of why I hate religion so much, because it’ll make more sense then. I don’t hate religion because I’m an atheist. I am an atheist because of evidence and facts. Because I want to draw my conclusions based on fact and evidence. If I saw what I thought was undeniable proof of any god’s existence, I’d change my mind. Nah, I hate religion because I was raised in a cult. Not like a “my parents were heavily evangelical/strict” way. My parents were actual official members in an actual cult, listed as a cult by government officials (though they’re considering removing it from the list which would be a supremely bad idea.) You look up all the fucked up things that cults do? Those lists of “How To Tell If You’re In A Cult?” You’re describing this religion to a tee. It gets an A+ in every aspect of cultism. It wasn’t a cape-and-fire-chanting-in-the-woods cult. Those aren’t real. This was a Christian-based cult. (Most real-life cults are. Aside from like...Scientology maybe?) But they weren’t just Christians who took it seriously, like I said. It was a separate cult religion and the entire religion is officially cited as a cult. It was just Christianity-based. See if you can guess what it is. Based on the clues I gave I’d say there’s like...two choices. 

Anyway, that’s why I hate religion. Because I’ve seen and suffered first-hand all the damage that religion can cause innocent people. Not just in religious wars and acts of prejudice, but just in individual thought and life control aspects and so much fucking trauma. In torment and guilt and wasted years. In passed opportunities and ended relationships and sexual repression. Religion sucks. (In my opinion, all religions are fundamentally cults at their core. Or they would be, if the worshippers actually adhered strictly to the rules that they made. Which they usually don’t, hence why most mainstream religions aren’t thought of as cults.) I hate religion for the core principles of ‘sinning’, hell/heaven/paradise, good vs evil, thought-crime, religion-over-family, faith, not thinking for yourself, and believing whatever you’re told. That’s so damaging. But I don’t hate religion just because “lol it’s so stupid, I can’t believe people believe that shit!” or “religion is just too mainstream for me!” I can see why people would believe that in the old days, when things couldn’t be explained by science. I hate all religions, even the non-mainstream ones like wicca and shit. And I actually think studying ancient religions is really interesting. It’s an aspect of culture, and I can respect that. 

What does this have to do with my opinion of Angie? A lot, actually. I didn’t just go off on a religion rant for no reason. 

So, for starter’s, I don’t hate religion because I think it’s “too stupid to be believable” or that being religious is “too mainstream”, like I said. I don’t look down on religious people for being stupid, gullible, or trend-followers (more on that later.) That means that I can still respect Angie as a person, even if she’s religious. That’s important to know going forward. 

But the main reason is, I hate religion, not religious people. I hate the institution of religion, any religion. I hate the ideas that it carries and the practices it puts into play. But Angie is not any of those things. She’s just a person. She’s not responsible for any of the things that any religion, including hers, will do. She just believes in it. She, as a person, is not the thing that is doing all the damage I hate so much. Maybe her religion is, but she as an individual is not. 

Religious people are victims. I know. I was there. 10 years ago, I was an indoctrinated, god-obsessed homophobe, shivering in anticipation of a doomsday when god slaughtered billions of sinners. I won’t say I was different, and I always knew something was wrong about religion. No, I believed like everyone else. I was indoctrinated as much anybody. Religious people can’t help what they believe. They are the victims of peer pressure, cultural expectations, propaganda, lack of information/education, deliberate thought control, family pressures, and many other factors. Trust me when I say: they really can’t control what they believe. That’s why it’s pointless to argue with them. Their beliefs don’t come from logic. They are all victims. And I see everyone in my former cult as a victim, not an enemy. They really can’t help it. I can’t express that enough. 

So it’s not Angie’s fault that she’s so deeply ingrained in a religion. It’s not a character flaw for her, and it doesn’t make her evil or bad. In fact, it makes me like her more. I feel sorry for her. I sympathize with her. I was exactly where she was when I was 13. I know to everyone else, Angie’s religion is just a caricature or a joke. But to me, it makes her character deeper, more interesting, and sadder. 

Also, Angie’s not a cultist. Oh, this one makes me so mad. Everyone who says “Angie is in a cult!” or “Angie became a cult leader!” has absolutely no idea what an actual cult is like. The DR writers don’t know. The fans don’t know. It’s nothing like what Angie does. She never becomes a cult leader. Trust me. I would fucking know. 

When she becomes Student Council President or w/e, the Student Council has nothing to do with her religion. She’s doing that because she believes she knows what’s best to stop people from killing each other. She’s not doing it because “my religion is right and you all need to convert!” Otherwise, she’d have done that at the start. The rules she makes, like the night time curfew, have nothing to do with religion. (Also, her rules about flashback lights and night time curfews were completely correct and were good ideas, but go off I guess.) Yeah, she might say “Atua told me to do this!” But all hyper-religious people credit their creativity, ideas, or achievements to god. Whether or not those had anything to do with religion. She’s doing it because she has ideas that she thinks can help, not because she wants to push her religion. 

Case in point: in order to join her Student Council, you don’t have to believe in Atua. You don’t have to convert. K1-B0 and Himiko make that choice, but Tsumugi and Tenko don’t. And Angie doesn’t care. You’re allowed to be one of their group without sharing Angie’s religion. And once Angie’s Student Council is in power, then what? Fucking nothing. She doesn’t force anyone else to convert to her religion either. Even the people who didn’t join the student council. They’re allowed to not believe. She never approaches them being like “you have to join my religion now that I’m in power.” And she still treats Shuichi and Kaito as politely and friendly as always. (Not Maki and Kokichi, but for obvious reasons. She was right not to trust Maki, after what they learned about her.) Angie not once ever uses her power to push or pressure or threaten or force anyone to worship Atua with her. It doesn’t happen. She’s not a cult leader. If she was, it wouldn’t be optional. There would be grotesque amounts of threats, social isolation, pressure, etc even to those in her own student council if they didn’t believe. I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, it would be so fucking different if her little group actually followed the criteria for being a cult. Even when Tenko goes behind Angie’s back and escorts Shuichi into the school after dark, Angie doesn’t threaten her or oust her. She forgives her. She doesn’t say “no one is ever allowed to talk to you again” or “you have to do a horrible punishment” or “you have to die”. She just...forgives her. Yeah, she insults her a little, but she has a right to be angry after being lied to, betrayed, and used by Tenko. Still, she forgives her. Also: Tenko being in the school after dark and Angie being upset at that has nothing to do with Angie’s religion at all. The rule of not being out after dark doesn’t either. 

Also, her actions before her rise to power weren’t culty either. Angie never pushed her religion on anyone. I hate people like that. People who want to force others to believe the way they do. They’re the fucking worst and the scum of the earth. Some of the worst, most evil people alive, in my opinion. Angie’s not like that. She only talked to people about her religion if they asked her. As she explained to Tenko “I wasn’t brainwashing anyone. I was just answering questions.” Himiko, Gonta, and K1-B0 asked her questions because they were curious about her religion. She answered them. When they showed interest, she kept talking to them about it. They were the ones who said they wanted to convert. She never even asked them. And then when they wanted to, she welcomed them with open arms. They approached her. All she did was speak openly and honestly with them. She never forced anyone to convert to her religion. She never even forced anyone to listen to her talk about her religion. When Kaede and Shuichi got uncomfortable about it and changed the subject, she let it fucking go. She stopped talking about it. She never made the first move when talking to someone about Atua. They always approached her first. That’s definitely not culty. That’s just a religious person being honest when they’re asked questions, or getting excited when someone shows genuine interest in their beliefs. Of course she would be excited. These are her friends, and she truly believes that her religion is correct. She would be happy to see them safely in it. In her eyes, it’s the only place where they’re safe. Also, if she was truly a bad religious person, she would think that everyone who didn’t convert to her religion deserved to die. Mark of cults. But she doesn’t. She loves all her classmates, tries to keep them safe, and prays for them when they do die. Also, she believes that they get into Atua’s kingdom simply for being good people, even when they don’t believe in him. That’s definitely not culty. A cult is like “everyone who doesn’t worship like you is always evil, and they always deserve to die, and if they don’t convert then they are not worth saving. If you don’t believe in our religion you will definitely be killed at judgement day no matter what.”

But, most importantly: Angie’s religion is not the only aspect of her character. Angie’s religion actually has nothing to do with my opinion of her. I like her because she’s cute, bright, hopeful, happy, and persistent. She’s kind and selfless and she tries her best to keep everyone happy. She’s confident in herself, even if other people ridicule her. She’s got an interesting twisted side to her, with her composure in the face of death and her desire for blood sacrifices. But that doesn’t stop her from being kind and friendly to everyone. And she’s surprisingly smart, in her own ways. And appropriately ruthless when going after her goals, which is always something I admire. (I loved that she was willing to turn on Himiko when it seemed obvious that Himiko was the culprit, instead of obnoxiously ignoring facts like Tenko. Um, hello? If Himiko is the culprit, you all die? And if she’s the culprit, she’s trying to kill everyone, which kind of gives Angie the right to revoke her friendship from Himiko, yeah?) Angie’s character goes so much deeper than her religion. As far as her religion influencing my opinion of her, it...doesn’t. I pretty much just ignore it. I love her for who she is, not what she believes. 

[edelgardlesbians]

Heyyo! So I don't use tumblr much and I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but nothing ventured nothing gained or something, right? Saw the fanfic prompts post and I immediately thought of the comics/fanart/whatever a given person wants to call it that I don't have time to make (thanks college, for taking up all my free time) of Edeleth (best girls btw) inspired by pretty much every Aviators song, but especially "Follow you Down", "Red Water Dreams" and "Streets of Gold"

bro i cannot express to you how quickly i dropped everything to start writing edeleth streets of gold. all of these songs are SO good for them and are just. destroying me emotionally! anyways. this was going to be shorter but then it ended up being long, whoops! the ao3 link is here!

full fic is under the cut:

Edelgard is fundamentally a very lonely person. Everyone who once might have mitigated such a feeling is dead, and Hubert, for all his good intentions, will never be able to see her as his friend before his emperor. It isn’t a bad thing necessarily: she is not sure she will ever be able to see him as her friend over her accomplice, but it makes for a rather lonely existence.

There had been a time back at the academy when she had thought… but no, it does not do to dwell on such things at a time like this. She has a war to think about. Edelgard takes a deep breath and centers herself, pushing thoughts of the professor out of her mind. She has a war council meeting to run. Her personal feelings do not matter, not in the face of her ambitions. All that matters is that they are achieved. She will make all this death around her be worth something. None of it can be in vain.

The war council meeting is unproductive, although she is not sure what she expected. The Black Eagle Strike Force - her generals, her friends - care too much for them to agree on anything. It would be sweet, if it wasn’t incredibly frustrating. The war effort is not going badly by any means, but morale sinks lower every day. Edelgard can rally her people and make them fight their hardest, but absolute devotion is not something you can inspire with words alone. They need a gesture, a sweeping victory that moves the war in their favor and causes them all to believe in her without question.

If only it were so easy to make that happen.

“Your majesty?” Hubert says, his voice breaking through her thoughts. 

Edelgard looks up, smoothing her skirts with her hands. “Yes?”

Hubert bows, the motion comforting in its familiarity, “I have that report you requested.”

“Of course,” she says, “Thank you, Hubert.”

Hubert sets the file down on her desk, then stans, hands clasped behind his back. He’s clearly holding something back: he knows her well enough that he would not wait for her to dismiss him. “There is another matter I wished to discuss with you, if you have the time.”

The question is a formality, nothing more. Hubert knows her schedule better than she does, and is fully aware that she has a fifteen minute gap before her next meeting. She gestures towards him to sit in the empty chair across from her, but he ignores her in favor of continuing to stand.

“You have seemed distracted recently,” he says. “I do not doubt your resolve or determination, but you must cast off whatever it is that is causing such turmoil.”

“Ah,” Edelgard says, laying her hands flat on her desk. “I see. You are right, I have been a bit lost in thought lately.” Hubert nods, his posture still ramrod straight. She is glad that he told her: this is not something he would have felt comfortable discussing so straightforwardly in years prior. “Thoughts of the millenium festival have plagued me, as of late. I will set such things aside.”

“She is dead,” Hubert responds. “A promise will not change that, no matter how much she intended to follow through with it.”

Edelgard looks down at her hands, “Yes. Of course. I know.”

“Be glad that all our former classmates are still alive,” Hubert advises. “They will not allow you to bear this burden alone, and neither will I.”

A shadow of a smile crosses Edelgard’s face. “Thank you Hubert.”

Hubert bows again, then turns and leaves her alone with her thoughts.

-

On nights like these, it is easier if Edelgard accepts that she is not going to get any more sleep than she already has. She sighs and pulls herself out of bed, dressing in silence and then setting out for a walk around the monastery grounds. The pale light of the sun is just cresting over the hills beyond the monastery. She hadn’t expected to, but she loves the monastery in a fierce, selfish kind of way. It seems unthinkable: the entire time she was there, she had known that all this temporary peace would fall apart in mere months. But regardless, it seems like part of her is always going to be that girl at the academy, relishing in the small happiness it had afforded her.

The sound of footsteps remind her of where she is, and she freezes, “Halt! Who’s there!”

“Edelgard?”

That voice… it can’t be. Edelgard turns, half expecting to see a ghost (although if this is who haunts her, over all of her siblings, that seems unfair), but instead, the professor stands there. There’s a smudge of dirt on her face, and her hair is unkempt and tangled, but it is her, absolutely her.

“Professor?” Edelgard says, hardly able to hear herself speak over the blood rushing in her ears. The goddess is a lie and there is no such thing as fate, but this is a blessing nonetheless. “It is really you? But I searched everywhere and never found a trace. Where have you been?”

Byleth’s face clouds, and her eyes dart downwards, her head bending slightly. “I was dead,” she says, her voice free of any indication that she is anything less than gravely serious.

“You can’t be joking!” Edelgard cries, hating how young she sounds in this instant. “It’s been five years since you disappeared! Do you have any idea how guilty I felt? How broken my heart was?”

Byleth steps closer, resting a hand gently on her arm, “I am sorry you were alone.”

Edelgard shakes her head, “I knew you were alive. I led everyone as best I could and fought with all my heart. It’s been a difficult path to walk alone.”

Byleth doesn’t hesitate, just brings her other hand up to squeeze Edelgard’s shoulder gently, “You are not alone.”

Edelgard closes her eyes for just a moment, then steps forward and wraps her arms around her professor, burying her face in the crook of Byleth’s neck. Her professor is right: she is not alone, and she will walk through this with Byleth at her side.