#every hour's like ''don't text her don't ask her how shr's doing''
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why does everyone else's state dictate how i'm doing? why do i obsess over how everyone is, except for myself?
#me @ myself:#worry about yourself#every hour's like ''don't text her don't ask her how shr's doing''#shit's really hard. for the both of us right now.#i'm afraid i won't do right enough by you#i tremble and falter at the spell your vigor of soul puts on me#all those stupid posts about ''can someone not be normal about me'' are starting to make me sad now that i think about it bc like#that's how i love i'm crazy about the person i love#naturally#but mixed with trying to be separate people and feeling cold like a piece is missing#it's not good!#it feels really bad frankly#i just have to keep introspecting#i have to keep training my brain like the muscle it is. i have to exercise it and rewire it and regulate my thoughts#and what becomes of them#personal#my wavering spirit finds its home in a little corner of your mind and it's where i love to be#i'm scared of hurting you and getting hurt#anymore#it's been like 500 times throughout our time knowing each other we keep hurting one another#god what do i do#i hate this !!! haha#m
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