#every relationship romantic or otherwise actually drove me insane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefossilwhale · 3 years

Text

i filled out this super cool button character profile by @extraordinarymage for sabrina! thank you for making this, it was a lot of fun to fill out <3 the bulk of it is under a cut and oh boy is it long !!!

Short, Quick Reference

Name: Sabrina Wiseman

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love Interest: Kent

Main personality trait: Confidence

Secondary personality trait: Morbidity

Relationship with Nick: Full of love, haunted by unaddressed guilt and frustration. But mostly full of love.

Nickname for Nick: Saint Nick (used sparingly)

Resentful or accepting?: Slightly resentful

Main strategy (interpersonal, insightful, innovative?): Insightful

Ethical or expedient?: Expedient

GENERAL

Name: Sabrina Larkspur Wiseman

Nickname(s): Sab, used by anyone; Sabby, only Nick and Sally; and, of course, Button for Nick.

Birthday: I think I made her an October Libra for the purpose of a template I did months ago, but I’m not sure! No concrete birthday yet, I’m always very slow to nail down details like this.

Age: 20

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hair color + style: Blonde. A little past shoulder length, sometimes wavy. Usually a middle part. For Aeon, tied back in a bun.

Eye color: Blue, entirely because of the section of Frank O’Hara’s “Meditations in an Emergency” that goes, “My eyes are vague blue, like the sky...”

Height: 5′5

Piercings: Multiple in each ear, but a couple have started to close.

Tattoos: None yet! Sab likes the idea of a tattoo but is worried about finding the perfect design, whether she’d end up hating it, that the pain might be greater than she expects and she’ll look like a baby in front of her tattoo artist. I’d like to think she eventually consults Sally and/or Glitch to come up with an idea that she falls in love with, but I haven’t come up with what that would be!

Clothing style: Mostly solid colors, not a lot of patterns. Nothing super bright, but a fairly varied mix of pastels, neutrals, dark colors, black. Partial to denim skirts and sweater tops. Ankle boots. Likes a good turtleneck. She’s bolder when it comes to formal wear, and especially loves suits. Big fan of silk and satin.

Since she has a pretty accurate face claim, I’ll link some gifsets I’ve rb’d for appearance ref if you are so inclined.

STATS

I’m always adjusting minor things and swapping scenes around, but these are from my most recent Sab run! Most scores hover somewhere around these values.

Personality:

Confidence: 53%

Humor: 5%

Morbidity: 22%

Resentful: 57% | Accepting: 43%

Strategy:

Interpersonal: 12%

Insightful: 50%

Innovative: 10%

Ethical: 43% | Expedient: 57%

KEY DECISIONS:

What is Nick’s nickname and why?: Saint Nick, used very rarely. It’s a joking reference to the time she thought Santa was an evil Ment out to ruin Christmas, and a point about Nick overdoing it with the cheer. “Saint Nick” is usually code for “I know you mean well, but please mind your own business.” Otherwise, she just calls him Nick.

What is their favorite type of cookie (and its name and why?): Salted caramel chocolate chip! No special name.

What was their initial reaction to Sally hugging them, as kids?: She just froze. That could just be me projecting adult Sabrina onto her childhood self; I don’t imagine that she was as uncomfortable around strangers or quite as cautious back then. But that’s what I’ll stick with.

How did they ace the ASE test?: The in-game option she takes is “My entire life has revolved around strategic avoidance,” but the one about being just plain smart also sounds like her. If Sab has the chance to thoroughly (over)prepare for something, she will do it. Her mind blindness also has her constantly (over)analyzing situations. So, hard work and relentless anxiety!

Did they manage to win their first assignment? How?: Yes, by having Sally block the door. I’ve headcanoned some slight differences in how it plays out, which I wrote about in-depth here. To summarize, Sab thinks of blocking the door as a desperate last resort, not a clever loophole, and she pushes back against Rosy’s praise because she wishes she could have done it the “real” way. Rosy goes from being impressed to being annoyed that she’s willfully missing the point.

What was the primary emotion Button felt during the Aeon bombing (love, gratitude, etc?): Guilt. She feels very guilty about how much Nick has given up for her in general, but I think that in the moment, it’s on a smaller scale. The fact that Nick was on the phone with her when it happened, coming to her rescue like always, becomes emblematic of their whole relationship for her, and she really fixates on that.

Who drove them home from the hospital from and why?: Glitch. Sab responds to her initial text with “Are you sure?”, and is relieved when Glitch takes that as “Yes, please.” She doesn’t relish the idea of being around someone more connected to her family or Nick at that point.

How do they feel about Nick riding around in their mind?: Worried, at first. Just because it’s so unknown and absolutely insane. After seeing Doctor Amari, she’s excited! Sab is thrilled to be a Pollard Five and intends to take full advantage of it. I am not looking forward to seeing how she reacts when that’s taken away from her.

Why did Button agree to do the undercover mission?: To prove she still deserves to be an MIV. Sabrina feels stupid and reckless for putting herself, Nick, and Aeon in this position, but she knows she’s smart, and she hasn’t worked this hard for nothing. She wants to prove what she could do with a normal Pollard Score and make herself too valuable to give up even when she’s back to Zero.

Told Glitch about your mind blindness?: Depends on the playthrough. I’m constantly going back and forth on whether Sab meets Glitch for coffee or wanders the city with Nick in her second chapter 5 slot (after trying to track down Kent). If she does meet Glitch, though, she absolutely tells her; with how touchy Sab is about privacy, she couldn’t stomach not warning Glitch that Nick could hear everything they said.

Figured out K’s secret?: Nope. She finds enough of the clues to be given the “I knew it!” option in-game, but she didn’t actually put it together. Sab is too angry and embarrassed by learning that Kent is an AMO to find any reason to interrogate it. “The random guy I met before school just happens to be a jerk” is a perfectly sound explanation to her.

Found Noh’s clues?: Not at the metro station. Sometimes she sees the Vengeance brooms in chapter 5 (again, depending on the playthrough), but that’s it.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP:

Love Interest: Kent

Why them?: Sab feels an immediate kinship with Kent after learning about the NPO program. It’s kind of funny how quickly he moves from the least sympathetic position in her eyes (Ment who got past me and read my mind without my knowledge) to the most sympathetic (non-powered child of a prominent family aiming a league above where he “belongs”). A lot of new respect for his competence. Her fate is sealed when she realizes that his kindness at the hospital wasn’t him trying to make up for some wrongdoing, but just him being very sweet. (She had scoffed over “You needed help.” But now she’s like, “Oh. He meant that?! Fuck.”)

As they spend more time together, Sab realizes how weirdly similar they are in other ways, too. And she starts to feel safe/secure around him in a way that she’s extremely not used to. Growing up surrounded by Ments, Sab has a lot of issues about being too much, too difficult, needing to “be worthy” of love. So someone like Kent who is not a Ment, who has no “obligation” to care about her, and whose judgement she trusts implicitly? Being around him and being loved by him mean a lot, and I think will go a long way towards helping her reflect on her other relationships!

What are their first impressions of each other?: Okay, there are like 3 first impressions with Kent. First: he’s tall and handsome and secretly adorable, and they have similar career goals, so she’s drafting a five-month plan to woo him and get his number. Second: he’s a lying, self-obsessed loser who owes her many explanations. Third: oh no, the first impression was true! And he’s been continually, selflessly kind to her in spite of her overt hostility. Scratch the five-month plan, because the crush was only fun when it was entirely superficial; now she really, really likes him and that just sucks.

We know that Button makes a good impression on K by stopping for their dogs, but apart from that... I mean, the “we confused each other” from chapter 7 is very apt. Sab has lots of shifting personas, and Kent sees pretty much every one within 24 hours. The prevailing impression before everything gets cleared up is probably just that she cares a lot? About everything? Her stopping for the dogs, how seriously she takes the first assignment, the way she seems so deeply affected by something he said or did that morning. It’s a rare side of her to meet first because she usually pretends to be above everything.

What feature does your Button find most attractive in their RO (ex. appearance, personality, etc.)?: Probably his composure. And his... steadfastness? The way he seems unruffled by anything, his soothing presence. She really admires that about him and finds the calm contagious.

What do they do to spend time together?: Going on drives together! Kent driving while Sab plays songs she thinks he’ll like, talking or not talking. Cuddling on the couch while reading their own separate books. Museum dates. Walking the dogs together.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: I imagine that the first month or so of their relationship would be difficult, just because they’re both bad at expressing themselves and not used to relying on other people. Kent kind of negates a lot of Sab’s impulses to get defensive or hostile, so instead of arguments, I think there are more likely to be awkward periods where she’s just stewing in something without addressing it. Most of their fights would be, like, one of them becoming really distant for a concerning number of days until the other tries to awkwardly check in on them.

What does their future look like?: Uhh some random lore: I think eventually they do get married, despite neither of them caring that much about it. Sabrina would be excited to have something to plan, and she knows it would make the people around her happy. They have a long engagement; there’s never really an “official” proposal, just an acknowledgement that yeah, they’ll get married one day, and then eventually they get rings. The engagement is almost Sab’s favorite part, honestly. She likes planning and showing off her ring and calling Kent her fiancé, a lot of fanfare on her part for a wedding that ends up being very modest and chill.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Nick: When I first started developing Sab, I thought that with as difficult/prickly as she can be, her relationship with Nick would be worse than it is. Never bad, but certainly strained, with more jealousy/resentment on her side. However, she rejected this. She is resentful, but never towards Nick—she internalizes the negative parts of their relationship so they manifest as guilt instead. And that’s the problem, not resentment. Sab thinks he’s overprotective, but that doesn’t make her angry; it just makes her sad. She wishes things were different and he didn’t feel so responsible for her, but she also doesn’t know how she could manage without him taking on so many of her burdens. So, guilt! So much love, but always looming guilt.

Having Nick in her head has helped. It’s added a new kind of guilt (“I’m a horrible person for being so giddy that people can’t hear my thoughts even though that requires my brother to be in a coma”), but getting inside Nick’s head for once and really feeling his love for her changes things. Makes her feel way more secure, I guess? It’s easier to see her brother as human person, a friend who loves her, rather than a perfect selfless paragon who sacrificed everything to raise her, which is an important shift.

There are also Things happening with self-presentation in the fact that they’re both models, and flirts, and pretend to be shallow. And the ways that they’ve responded to vastly different expectations. And selflessness versus selfishness. But I have no idea how to talk about that yet.

Relationship with Father: Strained and distant. Sabrina doesn’t necessarily blame him for leaving, but she hates how he’s handled it. She’s incredibly frustrated that John insists on keeping them in this miserable limbo of uncomfortable visits, even though moving away was (to her) a tacit acknowledgement that she and her parents are better off without each other. He’s trying to force a relationship that Sab thinks is ultimately harmful for everyone involved. For Nick’s sake, she’s willing to grin and bear the visits, but it never works because John can obviously tell it’s an act. He pushes her, she gets defensive, and so on to infinity.

Relationship with Mother: Like with John, Sab doesn’t resent Hope for the incident itself, or for leaving afterward. It was terrifying, and the idea of being around Hope makes her panic—but she thinks of that as just another irrational anxiety symptom, and she’s trying to work through it. What she does resent Hope for is letting it get to that point at all. Sab is incredibly bitter that Hope will suffer silently to the point of almost killing her (during the incident) and potentially herself (with the BRS), while Sab has no choice but to be completely open. Especially because they’re so similar in that way—she’s almost jealous. “Oh, so your silence is allowed to almost kill me and it’s ‘nobody’s fault’ but I can’t pretend to enjoy a single lunch with Dad without him calling me out for lying?”

And even though she doesn’t hold the incident itself against her, Sab is very hung up on “Why are you never quiet? Why are you always there?” She knows, on some level, that this was not a Personal Judgement against her. But because Hope keeps so much quiet, this is the only honest expression of her mother’s feelings that she can remember! It would take a lot for Sab to believe that Hope was really, genuinely interested in reconnecting with her, rather than just pretending to love her "enough” this time because to do otherwise would reflect poorly on Hope as a mother.

Relationship with Sally: Besties <3 Sally is the only member of the Wiseman inner circle that Sab doesn’t have complicated feelings about. They both have hidden morbid streaks that they bring out in each other, and can laugh about. They both have competitive streaks that work well together because they’re always on the same team. And their wants/needs from the relationship complement each other well, I think. Sally has always felt valued because she’s useful and not because she’s loved, while Sab has always felt smothered by love/care without feeling like she genuinely adds value to other people’s lives. So it means a lot to both of them that they’re able to help each other practically, while also genuinely loving and supporting each other outside of that.

Relationship with Gray: Full of trust and genuine care, but predicated on distance. Sab loves him a lot for being so careful not to cross any boundaries, physical or emotional, with her. She’s grateful that he’s there for Nick in a way that she doesn’t feel she can be. But "I like Gray because he doesn’t push me and is good to Nick” means that any hand he extend makes her defensive, because she’ll either view him as an emissary of Nick or start to panic because their normal routine is being disrupted (she doesn’t tell him about Hope in ch 3, for example).

They get along very well in a friend-of-a-friend sort of way, and bond over being cautious counterparts to Nick. Also, Sab never had a crush on Gray, but she is not immune to tall superhero and thinks it’s fun to fake flirt with him. (You know Isabela’s “You have pretty eyes” routine from DA2? Sab does that to Gray when conversations steer towards things she’d rather not talk about.)

Relationship with Glitch: I’m really excited about these two! They click from the start, and Sabrina feels immediately comfortable around Glitch, which makes her feel distinctly uncomfortable whenever she catches herself. Externally, they have pretty different personalities, but they’re both perceptive and... socially manipulative? aware of their self-presentation?... in ways that they both pick up on right away. So it’s a lot of conversational maneuvering and trying to figure out what the other’s game is, while also genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

Relationship with Kent/Kenna: I could go truly insane here. See the romance section above instead.

Relationship with Kim: Sab wants him to like her sooooo bad. He’s one of the only people to ever really get through to her, re: my headcanon conversation after the first assignment. Authority figures tend to treat her as special, whether that’s negatively because of her mind blindness or positively because she’s such an overachiever. She had no idea how to respond to that not being the case (and didn’t handle it well at first), but chapter 6 solidifies her respect for him.

It also turns Rosy’s opinion of Sab around; he was impressed by her in class but left his office thinking she was self-absorbed and naive. But the bombing is a reality check, and her response is very measured and practical in a way that surprises him.

Relationship with Lev: She doesn’t mind the comparisons to Nick or the “maybe one day they’ll fix you” comments as much as you might think. They aren’t her favorite, but she prefers that sort of thing to the inspirational platitudes belied by coddling that she got from her family growing up. Sab has fond memories of Lev and is grateful that he’s always been kind to her, but doesn’t have any particular feelings apart from that.

Relationship with Clarence: Holds a grudge against him for causing a scene, making her late, and generally being a jerk. But she can’t fault him for being right, after what happened! Mostly she just wants to avoid him, but she’ll be thrilled to lord her success over him if/when she proves herself.

Relationship with Dean Branham: Like Rosy, another authority figure that Sab desperately wants to impress. But without the personal investment she has in Rosy’s validation, more “Oh, this person is in charge, so I should make her like me!” Despite Nick’s and Rosy’s reservations, Sabrina doesn’t really have a problem with being “strongarmed” or manipulated into cooperating; for now, she figures Branham was just doing her job and respects her tactics.

Relationship/attitude towards Ments in general: Mostly just uncomfortable and wary around them. Sab doesn’t want her mind read, and she figures that no Ment wants to be forced to read it either. So she has a pretty strict “no Ments” rule for close personal relationships (excluding Nick, Sally, and Gray, of course. But only Nick really counts because he’s the only one who can hear her thoughts whenever she’s nearby). Not out of hatred or resentment, just because she knows it will be easier for everyone in the long run.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): Not many, but yes! Sab dated around a lot in the 2 years before Aeon (more like year and a half, because she completely shut it down once she was more focused on preparing for the MIV program), but there are 2 relationships that were formative/important for her. A high school sweetheart, and someone Sab met through modeling. She doesn’t keep up with her high school ex, but the model is her best friend outside of Sally and Nick, and they still keep in touch! I’m still developing them/the relationships, and I’ll probably post more about them someday. They’re fun!

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: Confusing and contradictory. She has two main modes that confuse people who meet both (e.g., Kent). She’s either cold, stuck-up, and sometimes hostile, OR she’s charming, frivolous, and sometimes flirty. Mode 1 is tense but stoic and inexpressive; mode 2 is seemingly relaxed but very posed and insincere. Mode 1 is for when she feels uncertain or has no agenda apart from “get to point B”; mode 2 is for when she’s more comfortable or trying to manipulate someone. Her actual personality is a bit closer to the second, but she doesn’t pretend not take things seriously or hide when she’s annoyed.

Strengths: Analytical, methodical, detail-oriented. Very driven and hardworking. May not always act like it, but does have social skills/charisma; a great liar, if you can’t read her mind. Unfailingly loyal and loving to her favorite people, so so so warm and affectionate and supportive if she really loves you. Very perceptive.

Weaknesses: Way too proud. Can be petty and vindictive. Self-absorbed (she doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s hard for her to see past herself sometimes). Stubborn, hates being wrong. And... emotional isn’t the word, but strong negative emotions can really cloud her judgement. It ties into her being proud, petty, and stubborn; if she’s really upset about something, she can cling to that emotion instead of re-evaluating it or moving forward.

Phobias: From this ask about the phobias that are planned to show up in-game, there are a few that I could see fitting Sab, but I want to wait to see how they’re implemented before I fully commit. Which is very metagame-y, I know (and I am very metagame-y about IF), but “fear of X” is so broad that it really does depend on when/how it manifests in the text.

That being said, agoraphobia is almost a lock; crowds do make Sab very anxious if she can’t keep track of everyone within a certain distance, and if she can’t leave when she starts feeling antsy. Claustrophobia is a maybe. The choice that triggers it (in chapter 4, about hating MRI machines) suits Sab, but I’m not sure if she hates MRI machines because she hates tight spaces, or if it’s more related to her general anxiety about hospitals, medical tests, etc. Which she definitely has!

What activities/club did they do in school?: She avoided anything group-oriented as far as possible. She took piano (maybe violin?) lessons and did recitals, but wasn’t in orchestra. The one exception was maybe National Honor Society or some equivalent, which she would have joined for her resume’s sake. And I think she would have tutored!

Where do they escape to when they need space?: A little used library corner, where she can people watch without being seen/heard.

How do they feel about/cope with their mind blindness?: Sab hates it but tries not to dwell on it. She knows that it’s no one’s fault, and she mainly just tries to... minimize it? Drown out her thoughts, limit her contact with Ments. And, least healthily, very rigidly managing herself. Because there’s so much of her that exists outside of herself, without her control, she tries to either filter or completely suppress everything else. Part of why she got into modeling, she can perform and be perfect and have total control over the final product of her body in the photographs for whatever campaign. Some Day This Will Be Better. But definitely not where she is in current canon.

How has your Button changed since the Incident with Hope?: Developed many new anxieties and disorders and syndromes :) She also became way more self-conscious, as in literally conscious of and way more tightly monitoring herself, what she’s thinking, what she’s expressing, how she’s sitting, etc. Less emotive face, more rigid posture.

If they weren’t an Aeon student, what would they be doing?: Sab would have beaten herself up forever if she “proved everyone right” by avoiding Unity/Ments entirely, so she’d want to stay in the family business somehow. She probably would have ended up doing scientific research on mental agility. Maybe even working for Mirrortech or some other biotech company, which I imagine would have been an interesting conversation to have with the family.

RANDOM FACTS:

Zodiac sign: Like I said, I assigned her Libra months ago for the sake of a template. But I don’t know enough about astrology to commit. Libra or Leo, probably.

Hobbies: Music, reading poetry, “cooking” (i.e., sitting on the counter and not helping while Nick makes dinner)

Likes: Watching other people (Nick) play video games, dressing up, taking long showers/baths, dark chocolate with caramel, back hugs

Dislikes: Being patronized, hot weather, going to the doctor, driving, doing anything she is not good at

Type of bedsheets: Bamboo.

Drink of choice: Cucumber mint lemonade! For hot drinks, some kind of caramel coffee. For alcohol, she refuses to get drunk because she’s terrified of having even less control of her mental broadcast, but at home/around people she trusts she’ll have a glass or two of wine. Doesn’t know enough to be picky, but doesn’t like it too sweet.

Favorite food: Probably some pasta dish Nick makes with asparagus and tomatoes and a lot of garlic.

Favorite color: Like a light turquoise!

Favorite music: Music to her was another mind-shielding tactic before anything else, so she tends to like upbeat-ish electronic/pop stuff. Catchy and repetitive, and/or with lots of personality to drown out her own thoughts. On the other end of the spectrum, she does have a soft spot for crackly, lo-fi, old or old-sounding slow songs—something about fuzzy recordings simulating a weak telepathic signal.

Favorite season: Hmm, spring and autumn are both good. She likes either side of winter.

Anything else you’d like to share: My heart and a long, fulfilling marriage, with anyone who reads all this 💍

#wow this is so long. insanity luv lit ral insanity #this was super helpful for articulating certain things about sab's character so it's already done its job #pls do not feel pressured to read Thousands of words about sabrina my beloved. but if you read all or even some of this <333 a kiss for you #why am i embarrassed to overshare about my own ocs on my own blog. i live here #oc: sabrina wiseman #also this was very much a stream of consciousness deal but i tried to go back and make it comprehensible. good luck all ye who enter here

19 notes · View notes

queervibesmydude · 4 years

Text

Fluff Alphabet

this took me forever to write but I have no regrets.

Nick Scratch x Reader

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Nick absolutely adores your eyes and your smile. He’d do just about anything to make you smile; whenever he sees it, he lights up on the inside and falls for you just a little bit harder. As for your eyes, he could lose himself staring into them. He believes that eyes are the windows to the soul and he loves the connection and intimacy that comes with making eye contact with you.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

All of it. He can’t choose just one part, when he’s in love with every single part of you. That said, he loves wrapping his hands around your waist and tracing patterns on your back.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

When you’re just talking, about anything and everything, he likes to keep his distance while still being close to you. He’d lay on his side, focusing all his attention on you, with your feet and hands overlapping, so there’s always some contact.

Otherwise, especially when you’re falling asleep, he loves to keep you as close as possible, wrapping his arms around you and keeping you safe as you drift off to sleep. He’s personally a fan of you resting your head on his chest and moving close to him; that way, he can feel your heartbeat against his body and he can play with your hair and run his finger up and down your spine.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

You could go literally anywhere and do literally anything, but as long as he got to do it with you, he’d be happy. He always loved to take you out on elaborate dates, dressing up as nicely as he could, bringing you to dances and showing you off. He has to admit, though, he really does love it whenever you grab him to sneak off on whatever spontaneous adventure of sorts you felt like going on at the moment.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He’s certainly much more expressive around you than he is around everyone else. The facade of being suave and charming but otherwise expressionless that he normally keeps disappears entirely around you, especially when you’re both alone. He’s more open and vulnerable around you, and expresses how passionate he is about the things he cares about when he’s around you.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

He would love to have a family with you in the future, as much as the concept does scare him sometimes, but he’s in no rush to make it happen. For now, and for the next couple of centuries at least, you and his friends are all the family he needs.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He never hesitates to spoil you with the most precious and elaborate gifts he can find. That said, the gifts that matter the most to you are the small ones, the ones that tend to be quite simple in nature, but remind you of some of the best memories you’ve had together. Your favorite gift, to this day, is a simple bracelet he created just for you, made with some dried sunflower petals from your first date.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Nicholas Scratch loves to hold your hand. He loves taking it and moving his thumb across your knuckles. He loves interlacing his fingers with yours, squeezing it to remind you that he loves you. He loves being by your side, no matter the situation, and holding your hand, just to remind you that he’s there for you, he loves you, and he’ll support you with whatever you need. He’d follow you to the ends of the earth and back, as long as he gets to hold your hand.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

It goes without saying that Nicholas Scratch is incredibly protective over you. Not that he doesn’t think you can handle your own - you most certainly can and he knows it - he just loves you so much he can’t bear to lose you. If you got hurt he’d rush to your side immediately and teleport you somewhere you’d be safe before getting help if he needed to. He’d stay with you until you were okay enough to defend yourself on your own, making sure nothing else would hurt you until then. And of course Nick Scratch is an adorably attentive boyfriend, making sure you’d have everything you needed.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Absolutely, yes. Teasing and joking around with each other has always been a part of your relationship that you both love so much, even when it escalates into a prank war that almost got the two of you banned from Dr. Cerberus’s, much to Sabrina’s dismay.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

He loves to lavish you with kisses. He loves grabbing your face with both hands and pressing his lips to your forehead. He loves kissing your cheek and wrapping his arm around your waist in public, just to show everyone that you’re with him and he loves you. He loves kissing you on the lips any chance he gets, either to comfort you, show you how passionate he is about you, promise you he’ll be there and he’ll be okay, or to seek out love and comfort for you. He loves the feeling of your lips on his and would drink you in forever if he could.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

He shows you he loves you by supporting you in your endeavors, always standing by your side. By listening intently whenever you had something to say, always being your shoulder to cry on. He always shows up for you in so many ways, making sure you know that you will be loved and supported, no matter how difficult or challenging things get.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Undoubtedly the time you beat him, hard (not physically), in a competition of sorts. On a day off at the Academy, a bunch of the students had decided to make an amateur competition of who could best the other witch/warlock in a game of combative spells. Everyone made a bracket and the miniature battles ensued, until you and Nick were the last ones left, both pit against each other. You were newer to the Academy and had seemed to have started growing a soft spot for Nicholas Scratch, so everyone assumed he’d beat you. They couldn’t have been more wrong. After quite an intense fight, you cast a spell no one else knew how to do that threw Nick across the room and rendered him momentarily powerless, beating him and winning the competition. Your rebellious power and ability to overcome all expectations without a care about what anyone else thought of you pushed Nick over the edge and made him fall even harder for you than he thought he could. Even though you weren’t dating at the time, that is, without a doubt, his favorite memory of you.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing you. More specifically, losing you or you getting badly hurt because he wasn’t there to help or protect you. He’s something he gets nightmares about somewhat frequently; thankfully, you’re always there to hold and reassure him whenever he needs it.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

Nick seems to be living in the world of his own thoughts quite frequently. You’ll often catch him thinking hard about things, or simply exploring things in his own head, taking a few seconds to respond to you calling him at times. You absolutely adore it; he’s brilliant and you love to watch him think and hear all about it whenever he’s willing to share.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Darling and Sweetheart when he’s being flirtatious, he calls you Babe casually, and Baby when he’s being really soft and sweet.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

He loves to get all the time alone with you he can get. Whether it’s going on walks in the woods together, lying under the stars and talking about anything and everything, or falling asleep together in his room, he just loves being by your side and feeling your presence next to him.

R = Rhythm (can they dance? are they a good dancer?)

He can dance quite well when it comes to parties and the like. When you first met him, he wasn’t as knowledgeable about more formal or complicated dances, but you have to admit, once he knew you were interested in it, he learned pretty quickly.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

It took him a while to open up to you. Not that he wasn’t trying to, but after having to rely on only himself for so long, it became incredibly difficult for him to open up to someone and allow himself to be vulnerable. He made the effort to trust you though, and while he’s still hesitant to tell you about things sometimes, he’s much better at it. However, under no circumstances does he keep any secrets from you, not unless it would be necessary to keep you from getting hurt, but even then, he’d do it reluctantly.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

It took you forever to get together. Forever. It drove everyone insane, watching you two build up enormous amounts of romantic and sexual tension over time without ever actually doing anything about it. One day, when you were sitting underneath the night sky together after a raging party, you couldn’t take it anymore and you grabbed his face in your hands and kissed him. You spent the rest of the night together, molding your lips together and whispering confessions of the feelings you’ve both had for each other for far too long.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Depends on what you’re upset about. If you’re angry at some sort of injustice, he’ll listen to you attentively and help you create some sort of plan for action to change things and make sure they don’t happen again. If you’re stressed, he’ll help you take a break and relax for a bit, and then he’ll help you finish whatever you need to so it won’t be causing you stress anymore. If you’re sad, he’ll offer a shoulder to cry on and give you all the comfort and love you need until you start to feel okay again.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Nick Scratch is certainly a confident individual, and it shows in the way he acts and carries himself. What Nick is more than proud of, is you. Not only is he proud of you as an individual, he’s so proud of the fact that he gets to be with you, and never hesitates to boast about you or show you off whenever the occasion calls for it.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

He’s never been one for the whole damsel in distress trope, no matter what gender the so-called “damsel” was. He prefers to fight beside you, both of you empowering and protecting each other, being the iconic power couple he’s always dreamed of. That said, if you were ever unable to fight, he wouldn’t hesitate to fight for you and do whatever he needed to do to protect you.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He has to admit, learning how to read you had been a challenge when he was first getting to know you. You’re pretty good at keeping your emotions checked and only expressing whatever you chose to at any given time, which can make it hard for people to know how you’re really feeling if you’re not telling them. You’d catch him studying you from time to time, trying to figure you out. By this point, he can read you like a book. He can sense how you’re feeling and know when something’s off, just by noticing a few mannerisms.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

Let’s be honest, he was never one for the whole turtle dove hearts thing; he always adored how mortals gave a ring to the other when they wanted to get married. You were never a fan of rings, though. Always found them way too easy to lose. You casually mentioned one day that you always found a necklace to be the most fitting, since it’s the closest to your heart and it’s much harder to lose, and Nick took that to heart.

He made an enchanted pendant that had gold, black, and red wire woven in a circle with the sigil you two created to represent your relationship in the center, adorned with the tiniest crystals that shone in the light. He took you on a walk to the spot where you normally sit and watch the sunset, took your hand, and told you everything he loved about you and how he couldn’t imagine living his life without you. He then pulled out the necklace and showed it to you, asking if you’d be his partner for life.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Being around you. He certainly does enjoy spending time on his own to recollect his thoughts and take care of himself, but being next to you, taking a break from the world to simply enjoy one another’s existence? It makes everything that’s constantly moving at such a rapid pace inside him settle down, even for just a moment, so he finally feels… still.

#caos #nick scratch x reader #nicholas scratch x reader #nick scratch #nicholas scratch #nick scratch imagine #fluff alphabet #nicholas scratch imagine #caos imagine #chilling adventures of sabrina

276 notes · View notes

lavenderbexlatte · 3 years

Note

OKAY SO ESSAY TIIIMEEEEE 😁😁

i may be over analyzing or missing the point completely but this is my take on that one part i was talking abt. chan saying he could’ve loved the reader has sat with me a LOT in different ways.

okay so. not only do i find it to a be a contradiction to literally everything in their argument. “nobody asked me what i wanted,” “you came in with your girldom agenda and got them hook, line and sinker” (not the exact quote sorry). BUT. why would he be talking all that shit just to end with how he could’ve loved reader? it doesn’t add up??? maybe just frustration and a place of distrust but i don’t really think so? idrk and that’s why IT MAKES MY BRAIN ITCH.

but what i meant by it goes much deeper is that we have to take into consideration that reader was his first GIRL. ever. and from what i can see he was very much into it. even going off and doing something one on one with them (which was an asshole move but that’s not the point!). even though we’re not really seeing much of chans mental state in the story i think that plays a big part. for someone like him who’d been dating two men and referred to himself as “gay” even AFTER sleeping with a girl itched my brain a lot. i’m thinking of the absolute pressure and FEAR he probably has currently. but i don’t think him saying he could’ve loved the reader was out of fear, but out of like legitimate feelings (?????)

now call me silly for bringing astrology into this, but chan has a scorpio venus. idk if that was brought into consideration when writing this but they are very, VERY intimate and are very guarded around their love. unlike jisung with his libra venus and changbin with virgo venus (virgo venuses are picky but i feel like reader is someone he genuinely likes). scorpio venuses fucking love intimacy more than anything and hate shallow shit! but what also itches even more is how it’s PAST TENSE. “i could’ve even LOVED you.” even ‘could’ve’ is past tense. (or maybe that’s just basic grammar and i’m an idiot but whatever). but back to astrology, i’m thinking chan actually did have some sort of romantic feelings for reader but i think it’s the lack of intimacy, pressure, fear, and his mental state that turned “love” into “love-D.” not saying he finds the reader shallow but it’s iffy to me! like i said, idk if 3rachas astrology was taken into consideration but the way chan is so guarded around himself/his feelings … it made sense to me.

chan isn’t stupid … quit the opposite actually! now he may have sexuality issues, but i feel like he has a good understanding of what he wants? he wouldn’t have slept with reader otherwise and had his one on one w them. i just think he’s … confused. he had his two, stable, boyfriends and then boom! sexy girldom agenda! (the part abt seeing the readers pretty blush is also itching but meh that’s getting too deep). many, many points that make my brain itch but this one really took the cake.

but that’s my take on this. ik a lot of the points don’t really match up and i may sound like a babbling idiot, but i needed to get this out all in one ask before it drove me insane! (also hoping other readers will read this and help me put pieces together hehe). but yeah sorry this was so long and probably sounds stupid but i just wanted to get it out. lemme know what you think!

-👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

how could you come for me so beautifully and with such accuracy and precision...i feel Seen and it's wild 👁👄👁

i'm so so glad that chan's deep-seating fear and confusion comes across for you, i was worried that it wouldn't be palpable enough, or would seem forced bc he's still so closed-off as a character.

and i spent AGES wording and re-wording that love confession, man. i wanted it to be that he could have reached a place of romantic love, at some point. he could see that for himself in the future if their trajectory as (admittedly tense) friends stayed positive and their sexual relationship worked out. but that now, he's not sure.

you are the ONLY. PERSON. WHO HAS CORRECTLY TORN IT DOWN TO THE ASTROLOGY. I MIGHT HAVE TO MARRY YOU.

chan's a libra sun, scorpio venus. i'm a scorpio sun, libra venus. literally EVERY opinion i have on him, every part of my equal love and annoyance, comes back this stupid fact, i think.

he takes things personally. he expects to have his mind read, in relationships, bc he's pretty good at reading between the lines himself. he would rather destroy something good to protect himself preemptively than to even RISK it hurting him first.

so if this relationship with jisung and changbin looks like it might get messy and painful with reader in the mix...the scorpio venus says tear it down 😈😈😈

#👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 anon #wishing feedback

4 notes · View notes

amydancepants-peralta · 4 years

Text

i love your precious heart

(chapter seven of we’re the fortunate ones) ♥️

season seven: i love your precious heart

For the longest time, there was a part of Jake Peralta that genuinely didn’t believe he was deserving of any special kind of love or affection. Years of rejection; from the revolving doors made up of fathers, step-fathers and short-lived relationships, had led to the once quiet inner voices growing louder - reminding him every chance they could that any state of legitimate happiness simply was not meant for him.

(Dr. Marcia, the therapist he’s been seeing once a fortnight for a close to a year now, has helped him to understand this.)

This New Year’s Eve, standing here on the fire escape that runs along the outside of the apartment he shares with his wife, is not one of those moments.

Their plans for the evening had skewed slightly from their original schedule, partially because Jake had heard the sighs of dejection Amy made when she’d returned yet another ill-fitting dress back into their wardrobe. Her body is changing in a lot of ways this year - some of them rapidly, others sneaking up on her so slowly it drove her insane - and when he remembered that Amy hadn’t really had the chance to go shopping for a decent range of maternity clothes yet, Jake had moved quickly to devise an alternative plan that seemed both spontaneous and not-at-all-related to a lack of party outfit options.

Pouring them each a glass of sparkling apple cider (if Amy can’t drink, then Jake can’t drink - and he’s not interested in hearing arguments that suggest otherwise), he had googled events that were happening nearby, found one with fireworks, and with his brilliant detective skills had deduced that their fire escape will face exactly the right direction to watch the show without ever having to leave their house. And maybe Amy had already been hoping that he would come to the same conclusion, or maybe she was just a really big fan of fire escape parties (he suspects, though, that it is the former) but either way, her dress had been swapped for sweatpants within minutes of Jake’s suggestion, and the relaxation on her face simply made her all the more beautiful.

They’d spent the entire evening rotating between the living room and the tiny space outside that Jake had stocked up with blankets and snacks, talking and laughing as they reminisced the year that was. There had even been a sweet little slow dance, to a song playing on Jake’s phone as it stayed nestled in his pocket - and it would have been totally romantic, if it hadn’t been interrupted by some dude yarfing onto the street below. Still, the feeling of holding his wife in his arms, while their baby stayed nestled in-between them, was something that Jake will hold onto forever.

The breeze has grown colder now, the wind rustling through Jake’s hair as he waits for Amy to return from her seventeenth trip to the bathroom (sadly, not an exaggeration), and as he reaches into the storage box for another blanket for his wife, Jake finds himself looking back on the last few months with a smile. Even now, there’s a tiny piece of his mind that is still incredulous that she is pregnant - that the two of them are having a baby. In just four short months, there will be a tiny human that is part Amy, part Jake and wholly them, and he’s never ever been more excited for the future.

He can still recall the moment it had all changed for the better - when Amy had turned to him with the brightest smile he had ever seen, and nodded her head. He’d sat beside her on the floor of their bathroom for longer than he’d realised, staring at the plastic stick with it’s stamped lettering and two thin red lines that told him that Amy was pregnant. His eyes had kept darting from left to right, his brain frantically trying to reassure himself that he was, in fact, reading it all correctly. That the love of his life was carrying his child, and the world as he knew it was never going to be the same again. It just … hadn’t made any sense, how easily it had all changed. Every part of his life involved filling out some sort of paperwork or prior approval or whatever - it was a reality that he merely tolerated, but Amy adored. But, in the blink of an eye (and a round of admittedly great sex), Jake Peralta was going to be a father.

Deciding to start trying had been one of the most uncomplicated decisions of his life, and one that he hasn’t reconsidered for a second (it had surprised him at first, how easily it came to him - but that’s the thing about finally being in a secure relationship. Even the things that terrified him the most, suddenly didn’t seem so bad when he knew Amy would be by his side). But it had stunned him, how in just one moment, seeing the word pregnant on a little piece of plastic had made him fall in love with something (or someone, really) that he hadn’t even met.

He had known, in approximately 0.0003 seconds after seeing their daughter for the very first time on the ultrasound screen, that he wouldn’t ever do anything that could hurt her. That he will fight for her safety and security, with every fibre of his being, until the very last day of his life. This tiny little shadow on the screen, with it’s echoing heartbeat and what thankfully looked to be Amy’s nose, was now the single-most greatest thing that Jake had ever done: and nothing was ever going to change that. These past few months have made Jake understand his father even less, and appreciate Amy all the more, if for nothing else than the fact that she’d given Jake a second chance to show just how capable - and deserving - of love he can be.

Hearing a soft grunt to his left, Jake turns his head in time to see Amy wriggling through the window frame, the swell of her belly turning what used to be an easy move into something that requires a little more finesse. There’s a soft metallic thud that reverberates towards the empty streets below as both of her slipper covered feet hit the gridded surface, and she grins in triumph before making her way over to Jake.

“Starting to get over this whole ‘needing to pee every half hour’ thing that I’ve got going on.”

Grinning, Jake leans against the balustrade of their makeshift balcony, ignoring the gentle dig of the metal against his skin. “I mean, you know my feelings about water, hun.”

Raising an eyebrow, Amy shakes her head in response. “Hate to tell you this, but all I’ve been drinking today is orange soda - and we both know that’s your genes at play here, Peralta.” Amy winks at Jake’s responsive wince, cupping his chin in her hand as she pulls him closer for a quick kiss. “It’s a good thing that I love you, huh?”

“Oh, it’s a very good thing, Ames.” The best thing ever, actually, that she loves him. She tells him a lot - even more so since falling pregnant, a side effect that has been hated by absolutely no-one - and every time feels better than the last.

A car passes them below, the loud music pumping from the speakers and filtering it’s way up to the two of them, and Amy looks down at her sweats, turning to give Jake an apprehensive look. “What a wild New Year’s Eve we’ve ended up having. Maybe we should have gone to Terry’s party after all? I mean, it is the last child free one we’re going to have for a long time.”

Slinging an arm around Amy’s shoulders, Jake pulls her closer to him, smiling as her hand wraps around his waist in a move that is absolutely second nature. “No way, Ames. I’ve got my two best girls here with me, and in five minutes I’m going to have the greatest seats in New York as that building over there lets off fireworks from their roof. Terry’s party can suck it.”

Right now, a bunch of fugitives could climb out from the sewer clutching diamonds from the biggest jeweller in town, and he wouldn’t move. Bruce Willis himself could knock on the door, and Jake would tell him that he needed to come back tomorrow (please, please, please - come back tomorrow).

This was his home - he’d built a world between these four walls, with the love of his life - the only one to run a hand over his scars, both physical and mental, and still call him beautiful. His partner, in every way imaginable, and easily the greatest person he’s ever known. And just when he didn’t think she could be any more magic, she’d begun carrying their child, and now he is absolutely certain that Amy is completely made of stardust.

Even when her hormones are out of control, and she’s yelling at him for not mixing enough pickles into her ice cream.

There was nowhere he’d rather be, and nobody he’d rather be with. Literally everything he needed, for the rest of his life, was right here in his arms.

(Okay yes, technically he would eventually need orange soda and gummy worms and maybe some water if Amy insisted. But there was a healthy stock of all that in their kitchen, and by ‘right here’ he obviously means their apartment.)

Amy hums - this sweet little hmmming sound that Jake knows to mean contentment ever since he heard it on their first night together, a sound that he’s heard a million times since then and just never, ever fails to transcend him - and she leans a little more of her body weight against him, blinking slowly as fatigue begins to set in. There were countless books and testimonials that told them to get as much sleep as they could, because once the baby came sleep would become a long-lost memory, and Jake could tell that Amy was secretly dying to curl up into bed. Baby-growing, it would seem, was a highly exhaustive task - and in all honesty the idea of curling up underneath the blanket with her for the rest of the evening sounded kind of amazing.

Jake’s just about to suggest a retreat to their bedroom when he hears the first whoosh of a firework streaking through the sky, the subsequent explosion of light piercing his eyes as tiny blue stars litter their previously dark canvas. Either the revellers had decided to celebrate early, or his watch was slow (entirely possible, he’d bought it for three whole dollars at their local bodega) - whatever the reason, Jake cannot help the smile that stretches across his face as more colours begin to light the sky.

Now completely awake, Amy moves closer still to Jake, standing in front of him and gripping his forearms in her hands when they wrap around her clavicle. From behind Jake can hear her tiny gasps as each bang and pop takes place, and after a minute he cries out in surprise, moving quickly to place his hands on either side of Amy’s pregnant belly in a protective stance.

Shifting her head to the side, Amy looks at Jake in confusion, pointing downwards. “What’s with the sudden coverage, babe?”

Eyes wide and earnest, Jake nods in the direction of his hands, explaining - “I’ve got to protect the baby’s ears, Ames! These fireworks are loud - and what if she’s asleep right now? She’s part Peralta, and you and I both know Peraltas are NOT a fan of being woken up.”

Amy laughs, her nose crinkling up in that completely adorable way that Jake absolutely loves, shaking her head as her fingers link with his on either side of her bump. “Our baby is totally fine in there, Jake. But I love you so much for thinking of her right now.” There’s a slight shift underneath Jake’s hands, and he can’t be sure if it’s a kick of just a general nudge from their daughter, but either way he takes it as a sign that their little one agrees with Amy’s statement. Nodding; he smiles at Amy, suddenly feeling a little foolish - but perhaps, he’s just foolishly in love. Above them, the fireworks continue to explode, only now they don’t seem so loud.

Moving one hand away from his, Amy cups the back of Jake’s neck, gently pulling him downwards for a soft kiss. “Only five months in, and you’re already the greatest dad ever,” she whispers against his lips, pressing against them with her own once more. He’s blushing by the time she pulls away, he can feel it in the sudden tingle of his cheeks, but all he can think about is the title greatest dad ever, and how much he can’t wait until those very words are emblazoned on a mug or some other kind of gift their child decides to buy him. He wants it on hats, and shirts, on socks and a keyring and everywhere in between - because when it came to Jake and fatherhood, there was not a chance in hell that history was going to end up repeating.

“Hey,” came Amy’s soft voice, pulling Jake out of his thoughts as her fingers return to the back of his neck and toy with the curls that live along the bottom of his hairline. Briefly, he remembers that he meant to get his hair cut two weeks ago. “You okay, babe?”

Taking a deep breath, Jake smiles and nods, waiting until Amy has turned to face him completely before tucking a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. “Happy New Year, Ames. I know I’ve said this before, but this year is going to be totally amazing.”

Amy nods back, giggling as Jake swoops in for a kiss. “I’m going to remember this moment when we’re elbow deep in dirty diapers and our eyelids are being held up by toothpicks.”

Joining in on Amy’s laughter, Jake shrugs his shoulders in defeat. “This is probably going to sound insane, and I’m definitely going to deny I ever said this when we’re in that situation; but even that sounds a little bit awesome, because it’ll mean that she’s here and we can hold her and talk to her and just love her for reals.”

“Totally insane, and I completely agree.”

It’s less than an hour later that both Jake and Amy are tucked into bed, the sound of Amy’s gentle snores lulling Jake to sleep as 2020 begins to stretch her limbs. Their apartment is quiet, but filled to the brim with love - right down to the printed sonogram, sharing the space of a heart-shaped magnet with a photo of a young couple falling for each other - and there is a small room adjacent to the kitchen that is almost ready for it’s tiny occupant to arrive.

As his eyelids grow heavy, Jake thinks back to all the years he and Amy had spent together, and how many times they’ve had to push back against all the things that have tried to keep them apart. He knows now that it was worth it - all of it was worth it - because truly, the best was yet to come.

#myfic #so pumped we have the option to write pregnancy/baby related fics now!#the options!#mine #b99 fanfic #peraltiago fanfiction #jake x amy fic #b99 fanfiction #b99 2020 vision challenge

59 notes · View notes

myheartbeatskids · 5 years

Text

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

17 notes · View notes

smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

Text

Keep The Girl - Fraser x Reader (Black Sea)

Pt.II of Quit Breaking Up With Me

Author’s Note: I said it was going to be a three part Retcon. (Well, I guess this is really the Retcon piece) but it’s now 4 parts! Mostly because I rewatched Black Sea and noticed all of these things about our boy that I really REALLY wanted to use that did not fit into the three parts I’d planned... Keep The Girl is a song that fits the relationship despite the lyrics clearly being about a different kind of leaving... Disclaimer: Black sea characters not mine. Gif/Lyrics not mine either.

Zvezdochka = Little Star. It’s one of my favourite words! Premise: When Fraser is called to a dive for £2million worth of Gold on a sunk Russian submarine in the Black Sea, you can’t help but worry for him... What happens if he never comes back? ...What happens when he does? Words: 7045 Warnings: Swearing / Mental Health/Personality Disorder issues / Sexual Pre-Amble

_________________ This life is full of choices, Hard to make one all the voices, In my head... Those eyes that I'm in love with, Or that highway which ever I pick, There'll be regrets, I go one way I lose everything, I go the other way same thing... I'm torn and it's tearing me apart, I want to go but I don't want to break her heart, Like a sword with a double edge blade, It's gonna cut deep either way, This little town, that big old world, Chase my dream or keep the girl? More than once I packed it all up, But I break down blame it on the truck, Just couldn't go, Just wanna be out there making my mark, Lay down every night in her arms... I don't know why I can't have it all, Need to tear down that wall, Between this little town, that big old world, Go chase my dream and keep the girl

---

You ran your hands through your hair and your head almost hit the table “…But, baby! It’s so dangerous!! And this doesn’t even... the Black Sea?! I worry about you!!” “I know you do!” “ Do you?! It doesn’t stop you from going?!” “I was THERE!!” Fraser made the exact same exasperated face he always did when he raised his voice to you like that. Like he was mentally kicking himself “...I’m sorry... I... I’m sorry...” he placed his hands lightly on your shoulders “This one... it’s... this one is huge... baby okay...? And not just for me...” he massaged his hands down your arms “... For us...” You bit your lip; you knew this one meant a lot to him. Since you’d decided to stop fighting about it, every dive came with a disagreement; arguing without screaming at each other. You bent to everything he did. It made Fraser happy to be out there and it made you happy knowing he was doing what he did best. But the Black Sea…? Russia!? “Fraser…” “Babe we’re talking... millions...” He kept talking like the money was something you cared about, you didn’t understand why he couldn’t understand you didn’t. “Fraser I don’t want you to-” “Millions! Can you imagine?! Like potential of-” You were adamant this one was more trouble than it was worth, most of the time he could convince you otherwise. And sometimes you actually got excited about the places he got to go, if it didn’t sound too dangerous – sometimes he wouldn’t have to dive that far – or he sent you pictures from clear tropical seas where he looked SO gorgeous, where he was smiling. Where he could share with you every detail of every dive and tell you how much he wished you were there. But this one… This one sounded like the kind of dive you could lose him on. “Baby please... don’t go...” “I have to. I have to try. Please?” You sighed, you knew him too well, that was the problem. Would it even matter what you said at this point? If Fraser was already psyching himself up for it, he was going no matter what you said. So you had to smile, and push your forehead to his; “Okay... okay... but only because if I don’t agree you’ll do it anyway...” He kissed you gently, hands running through your hair; “Thank you... baby...” You shook your head; “Don’t thank me. Just come home.”

** You swung down the last bannister with his heavy rucksack over your shoulder. Minimal though the contents were, they were all vitally important. “Oh...” Fraser was coming out of the kitchen into the hallway as you came down “you didn’t have to bring it.” “I just wanted to check you had everything.” “Twice...” He held his hand out “Three times.” You unshouldered it and handed it to him, Fraser knew why. “But if you want to check again-” “I trust you. You were my partner for 5 years out there. You still are, Y/N... you might not ever want to go back to it but you are... I know everything is right and in order.” He gave a shrug and his eyes moved from you to the wall “... I just hate to ask you to drive me again...” “Driving you isn’t so bad...” “This time is.” His stunning blue eyes fell back to you “... I should probably have learned something from you.” You couldn’t help flash a grin “Zvezdochka you will do fine.” You took a step forward to kiss him “But I will worry.” His hand found your right side - over the still prominent scar beneath your clothes “... I know you will... but I will come back I promise.” “Don’t promise me anything you know damn well is that hard to keep. If it’s not state-of-the-art I don’t want to hear another promise ever again.” His face scrunched “That’s far less promises than I would like to make you.” “Then how about you promise me one thing?” “What?” “That you love me.” His head tip was inquisitive; like that wasn’t even anywhere close to top of his mind. ‘Don’t go off on one.’ ‘Don’t let them get to you.’ ‘Don’t do anything dangerous.’ ‘…Especially if it’s Robinson telling you.’ Those were the more likely candidates. His smile was crooked “I love you?” Then he laughed “... I don’t think I could ever hope to promise you that enough.”

You left him in peace to psych himself up and finish getting ready. But you knew it was time as soon as you heard those heavy, one-at-a-time footsteps from the first to second staircase. You knew it was time for him to leave. And it took a good minute for Fraser to do the last three. He sighed “Alright. We best get going to this damn chartered flight.” He scoffed at the notion that any of them should be getting a chartered flight to Russia. “Visa?” “Taken care of.” “When do you get back?” He watched you cross to the clock in the hallway “... I’m not supposed to promise you anything I can’t keep, remember?” You smiled, knowing he would eventually feed that line back to you “Go on. Humour me.” “Give it a few weeks. I tell you what, I’ll ask the charter. No, you know 14 days aughta do it.” “Just, text me.” You wrote yourself a note though, he saw that. “Also...” You turned back to him “Before you forget. Though I’m sure you didn’t...” “Could I, ever?” He took the final step down as you held out the knife. About as significant to your relationship as his insistence to constantly take your hair bands. You knew early on that if Fraser didn’t have anything to preoccupy himself, he’d likely go clinically insane. Coupled with his paranoia, and the fact that goodness knows what trouble he could get into diving, having a weapon - or protection; the most important thing – (that you had imparted on him he was only to use when absolutely DAMN necessary) at least kept him in a safe space. If he had something to occupy his fidgety hands, you were also happy about that. “You have your licence.” “It’s not a gun.” You held it back for a minute “Fraser. You’re going to Russia for one thing, but you’re also going through an airport. Chartered flight or no if they find this on you…” He dug it out of his back pocket “Licence to carry. Happy now.” “Yes.” He took it from you carefully and clipped it to his belt; “Just, for God’s sake-” “Be careful.” You said in unison, and he pulled you to him again to kiss your forehead “I know... baby, I know.” ** “Say Hi to the guys.” “I will.” “Text me.” “Will do.” “When you get there too.” “No. I’ll call. I’ll call when we land and before we set out, okay...” Fraser opened the car door and then turned back “And I’ll let you know as soon as I know a solid date. Alright? 14 is a nice safe bet, we gotta get there first before we even set out... then we gotta find the sunk sub.. dive... get ba-” he waved a hand “you- You know the details.” You smiled gently and leant over to brush your lips against his; “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” He smiled again, stealing at least two more kisses; “No promises.” “Fair enough.” You sighed gently “What can you promise me...?” Fraser hopped out of the car and slipped his backpack on, pretending to think long and hard, before he bent with a wave goodbye, the significance of earlier conversation not lost - “That I love you.”

You drove home a little nervous, but also with a smile on your face, even though you weren’t really sure you understood why it was there. But Fraser always made you smile. Now the arguments played out the way they did, it made him seem calmer. There were flashes of real arguments every so often but... you both backed off and gave each other space. You didn’t need anymore “leave” moments with him. Ever. You heard your phone buzz from where it sat in the cup holder, you flicked your eyes to it and couldn’t help but glow a little. As soon as you parked up you couldn’t read it fast enough; “The boys say hi. (At least the ones you LIKE do!) still always gonna wish you were here with me. I promise what I promised. Always.’ He never signed off with anything romantic. But the sentiment was as much in what Fraser didn’t say. Your phone buzzed again, before you could even reply. with a single date. Even better! You exited your car, entered your house, and headed straight for the timer on the clock - punching in the date and pushing the start button. It began ticking down and you smiled. When those numbers hit 00.00.00 Fraser would be home. And in 10 years, he hadn’t let you down yet. -- Past… The prison guard approached the glass pane in the security door with nothing but sympathy on his face; “Oh my god. If there was one person I wish I never had to see here again, Y/N, you’d be her.” “Thanks.” You raised an eyebrow, “Can you please tell him that?!” “I mean every time I see he’s in again I just... my heart breaks a little...” He opened the door wider for you “...Still. He’s doing well.” “Gary, he always does “well.” Nearly everyone else is scared of him! Luckily they put him in the right place.” “Well, you know... psych evaluations...” he frowned “Now you mention it, they do all leave him alone to just get on with it... I think maybe the first time they didn’t. Soon learned them.” You folded your arms, recalling; “You know he never did say what happened. I just got a notice saying he’d been in for another few months, and visitors were denied...” “I’m not even sure anything violent happened. But geez, sometimes I’m not sure I even want to talk to the guy when he’s in here. Y’know? He’s not the biggest guy, he’s probably not the meanest either. But... he’s just... there’s something very intimidating about him. Soon as someone claps out the psychopath word and...” he paused, watching you “Does he... take something for that?” “... Don’t you have all his medical history?” “His doctors do, I’m asking for personal interest reasons.” “They kinda level him. It’s weird. Hard to get used to it. Fraser takes them when he really feels he needs to. He says he doesn’t like himself on them, who am I to argue with that?” “Is he stable without ‘em?” “Fraser is Fraser. He’s himself without them. If it’s working for him, I’m not inclined to mess with it. 10 years plus into knowing him and...” you gave a shrug “I just wanna see him again, Gary.” That was an end of conversation sentence if you’d ever spoken one. He led you down a series of small corridors. “He should be there.” “As long as you didn’t chain him to the freakin’ desk again.” “Y/N... we have to take precautions.” “... It’s ME Gary. Let him go!” “Look we’ve done the bare minimum. His psych says dangerous. It doesn’t matter who you are, but who he is.” Gary got to the next security door and buzzed you both though, you could do this yourself eyes closed, he knew. He knew you well by now. As did everyone charged with Fraser’s cases and files every time things like this happened. But Gary was nicer than most, he liked to make sure Fraser was doing everything right - get out on the day your clock hit 00:00, if not shave some time from the sentence altogether. “How’s things otherwise?” “Going good, yeah. I mean the house is pretty empty - but it makes it look like I have space when everything is clean and tidy. I get to watch shows I want and take up the whole bed. Get to bed at a sensible time, don’t need to rush to work!” You laughed “I’m never late to anything. And works going well, you know? It’s a lot of fun. Better than the old job. The closer I get to something diving related the closer I feel to him and all that, y’know?” “Oh for sure!” “And you? How are the kids? Sara must have just turned...” “Seven.” “Seven! Right! Good birthday?” “Yeah we had a good weekend.” You both paused at the next reinforced door. Either you were the only one visiting or everyone else had left.... either way Fraser sat alone.

You sighed. They’d cuffed his wrist to the table, and then his wrists together. You turned to Gary, sadness filling your eyes and threatening to spill over into tears. “If you treat him like a monster, he will be a monster. Mental health is an illness. Not a choice.” He swung the door open for you and Fraser looked up; relief and guilt flooded his face and although he said your name it was barely audible. He met your eyes and then he shook his head gently and his eyes fell to the table. Gary pulled the guard on the second security door over and muttered something to him as you sat down “Fraser... baby... look at me...” he shook his head again, bowing it over until he was almost touching the dull grey metal table. The second guard took his wrists and unlocked the side not attached to the table . “No sudden moves Fraser, or you go straight back.” “Yeah. Alright mate...” The misery in his voice sent a pang through your heart. You threw Gary the most genuine look of relief he thought he’d ever seen “Thank you.” Reaching forward you took Fraser’s hands in yours; “Baby, please… Will you look at me…” His head lifted, and there was nothing in those blue eyes but guilt. You pulled his hands towards you; trying to ignore the metallic drag of the chain across the table and pressed your lips to his knuckles. “How are you doing?” “…Oh. How I usually do when I get in here…” He bit his lip, and you knew he was on the verge of tears “I’m sorry…” Are you? Was your only thought. And you were warranted. He always said it, but he’d ended up in here enough times for sorry to barely cut it with you anymore. It was just something that you knew was going to happen. “I know…” Was what you opted for “…I just need to know you’re okay…” “Me…?! Yeah, it’s just day counting… but you-” “Day counting.” You repeated with a wry smile, and you knew he knew your countdown clocks. He took your face in his hands, and you slid your hands to his wrists, rubbing your thumbs gently over his skin. “I promise I’ll get out on time.” It was a promise he usually kept. “And I’ll be waiting with my car, baby…” “I know…” He leant across the table pulling your face towards him so he could kiss you. “…And you know I can’t wait…” You accepted his kiss, and afforded him another. “What are you thinking of doing when you get out?” “...What I always do… I guess… It’s the only thing I know how to do…” “Darling…” You knew that was an outright lie; there was so much that Fraser could do if he put his mind to it. But, putting his right mind to it… He needed an employer that understood that… Not easy. Diving got Fraser through because he had a skill set no one else did. “…There’s so much you can do…” He sighed and his eyes fell from yours again; “...With my record? With my medical record..? Y/N… You think I can just go down to the job centre an-” You cut him off with another kiss; “Do you want me to make a call or two...? So you know you have something when you get out?” Maybe not a long dive – or something deep… Maybe just instructing or guiding. So you’d know he’d be safe his first few dives back. But it made his face light up. “Really?? You would do that? I… Darling… But… You- Would really do that for me?!” Looking at how happy he was, of course you would. “…Yes. I’ll get Reynolds on the phone… ugh, even Robinson and Agora if I have to.” Fraser was much more a diver for hire than attached to a company, and you were thankful for that. Agora weren’t great, you never particularly liked what they asked him to do. They were usually dangerous, long, salvage missions where he wouldn’t be able to contact you. But the work and pay were always steady – which is what Fraser needed. Desperately. “How can I ever thank you enough?” You raised an eyebrow; “Well. One day… I won’t need to pick you up from places like this…” Your smile became a laugh; “Then I’ll know you’re thankful!” --

There was static on the end of the line, and the call fluctuated in and out but it still made you smile, to walk around your house with his voice on speaker. Letting him fill the room and echo around. You felt Fraser everywhere then; ��H—Ey-! Y/N-!” “Where the heck are you?!” “Standing on a Ru---ssian Sub-! We----- 5 minutes!” “You’re calling me just before you dive!? Fraser!” “-------In order ---- Get going.” “Sorry?!” You couldn’t help but laugh; “You’re ready to go, right?” “Yeah--- Everything’s fine. I’ll finish this call and we go.” You were his final thought, and he had called just to let you know it. Your cheeks hurt and you tried to calm your smile; “Awww, darling… Aw-! Thank you. I’ll hear back when you’re done, right?” “Y---h, w---- do. I’ll see you soon, okay?” “I can’t wait to have you back.” “I know.” “Baby I love you.” “Y/N, ---- you too.” “No, wait! Fraser! You gotta say it again you cut out.” “I LOVE YOU TOO!” You laughed as he yelled it; “Okay. Get going darling, I’ll get you back quicker.” “I know--! Take care!” “I will. You need to be told that more than me!!” “I’ll take care-! Don’t you worry…” He laughed, “Besides, I got a great girl to get back to, right?” As soon as he’d hung up on you Fraser took a deep breath and smiled. Pocketing the mobile he wouldn’t use for maybe another week, until he needed to call you again. He stretched and looked across the expanse of water. This dive would be different. He already knew it and they hadn’t even sunk below the waves yet. But he was determined this would all go alright. You had told him not to promise anything, but he promised it to himself anyway. He’d come back to you – near enough 2 million richer by his own calculation. He smiled, he had ideas already. Of course he did, he couldn’t help that. He hadn’t told you anything, but he couldn’t wait to take you to all the places he’d vowed to take you for years. When he got the money… You deserved it. And after this one, he might make that money a reality… Fraser shook his head; he had to keep level about this. He placed his hands on the ladder; and looked up, drinking in those last few drops of sunlight before he descended. “Can we get Fraser set up first?!” Gittens was the first one to float the idea that Fraser knew was coming and he brushed it off with an eye roll. “Oh yeah - Fraser go set up man.” “Oh-! F**k off. The lot of ya.” “Wait? Why? What?” The American banker, Daniels? Fraser believed his name was but hadn’t been paying that much attention, was about as confused as expected. Why he was here Fraser didn’t know – he wasn’t experienced crew; surely he’d just get in the way. “At least tell us she’s half naked?!” Fraser raised an eyebrow and continued walking to the bunks – he guessed carrying pictures of you around had its privileges, if he got first pick. “What the f**k kind of pictures do you think I carry around of HER!?” “It’s gonna be a good f**king picture. She’s a good f**king girl.” Reynolds’ laugh carried, but Fraser thought it odd to hear him say something like that. Considering how he knew you. “-Or she could just be a good f**k.” “What the HELL did you just say?!?!” Fraser stopped mid walk and whipped back around in the enclosed space, far from happy. That at least made Gittens back up, red crossing his face in embarrassment of the thought alone. Good. He turned to Reynolds and flipped the picture over; “It’s okay... yeah.” Reynolds studied it for a minute, and simply wondered what the Russians, and the American would say. Fraser was certainly not the type of man anyone would envision you with; and Reynolds often thought it’d probably stemmed from a late-teenage crush into something much more. Still, 16 years was a lot to go on. He still remembered the first time Fraser had given that cocky little smirk as he told everyone he had a girlfriend, and almost choking on his coffee to find out it was you. Reynolds had known your father for a while – so had naturally known exactly who you were. And as an avid diver he didn’t know why he hadn’t put two and two together. But, that was by-and-by. Reynolds grinned at the picture; always up for teasing - “There we go. I’m bunking with Fraser.” “Oh for f**k sake. You so much as put your hands on your waist band whilst looking at that thing I’m gonna murder you!!”

** You’d been stressed about his dives a billion times. Always. Even in shallow water they could be dangerous. You and that scar of yours were prime examples of exactly why. If you heard the same thing had happened to him, or worse, then you’d never forgive yourself. But this was something even more unprecedented. No-one knew they were there. Except, you assumed, perhaps the crew’s significant others and whoever had hired them to do the job. Fraser was under the Black Sea. Not only was there a huge Balkan war flaring up, but there were Russian navy vessels cruising that stretch of water day-in-day-out. And they certainly would not take kindly to a bunch of British/Russian crew men under their sea… Looking for alleged lost gold. Oh yeah – British – that was a laugh. Fraser counted as #TeamBritain because of you, and because he lived here. He’d never particularly spoken about it with much Pride… it had you wondering… Still #TeamAustralia? Only, you couldn’t help but get paranoid. With shipping lanes, weather, sea conditions, Fraser’s own limited knowledge and absolutely every piece of information to you could garner about this trip sat on your secondary screen as you typed away on your main monitor. For the most part everything was calm. But every so often there would be a beep or flash of something. And you would stop everything to read it.

Sometimes you could turn back straight away, it was either nowhere near him or was something that couldn’t possibly affect his work. Not this one. You read it once. Twice. Three times.

Movements detected below the surface. Request team to embark to check into it. You squinted at the depth. Certainly around Fraser’s diving range. You opened your top desk draw, feeling your chest tightening. Your hand hovered, and your colleague stopped working to look across to you. They knew what was coming. The second line of Russian had you pushing your chair back and grabbing the pack. “I need a minute...” You said it quietly mostly because you could barely find the air for the words and you left your desk. Unidentified object confirmed. Surveillance team on route.

You stood outside your building for a minute. Cigarette to your lips. When did you start doing this?! You cursed the idiot who had suggested it as stress relief. They were your vice and your lifeline now. You inhaled warmth and exhaled smoke. The footfalls on the steps next to you made your eyes sweep to the pavement. “And you’re worried about dives killing him.” You took another drag and laughed your exhale as your boss joined you. “Well I know first-hand about that.” “Where is he?” “Russia. Isn’t that all you need to know?” “Ah-! Then...” he pointed to the cigarette “Forgive me, that’s certainly warranted!” You looked at it “It’s a disgusting habit. Can’t kick it now. Helps with jitters... with the way my body tightens whenever I read anything....” you looked across to him with a smile “Stupid? Right?” “Anything that helps is surely not stupid. Maybe not reading would?” “Oh you’re kidding I’d worry MORE!” You grinned “I already think about every bad thing that happens… I get so… In my head about it without him here. What could possibly go wrong with Fraser today? I’m surprised I don’t get nightmares-! Oh! No let’s not think about that!” “…May I?” “Good to know your day is going just as well as mine...” You held it out “Finish it. Please.” “Well. There’s a couple of trades that seem to have gone missing.” You tutted “Someone isn’t doing their job properly.” “No indeed. But I’m supposed to make sure that you all do.” “Better go sort it then, hadn’t I?” “...Y/N they aren’t your trades! And it’s certainly not your fault-!” “Oh come on now!” You patted his arm “It’ll give me something to do-!” He laughed, taking a drag of his own and calling after you; “Keep your eyes off of Russian seas-!”

** You ran the pendent on the end of your necklace across the chain again, holding it close to your lips. You’d been in the airport for the best part of 3 hours. The clock hit 00:00:00 this morning. You hadn’t heard anything since Fraser had called you before the dive. That could be for any number of reasons. You just prayed it wouldn’t be the worst you could think of. Fraser had said he would be here today. So here you would wait for him. As everywhere else, there were people who worked here that you knew well from simply having to be here so often. And they had kept you company while you waited. But you were starting to get worried. You were SURE he would turn up. But you and he couldn’t guarantee that. This was like waiting for him to come out of prison, as you had so many times. But worse, because at least all those times you knew where he was. (Relatively) safe in England. In Russia on some kind of ‘secret’ dive – that usually meant not legal, and certainly under the radar. – what if he never came home? What if they got arrested? What could you do if he was sent to prison in Russia!? … What if he died? NO. Stop it! You’re thinking about what almost happened to you. Fraser wouldn’t be that stupid. Fraser wouldn’t get hurt like you… You touched your side instinctively, as you knew he would if he was here, and bit your lip. You needed him back. You wanted to sit him down and TELL him to stay. If he’d done what he set out to do, 2 million was a lot of money. He could stop diving for a while. He could stop diving altogether. At least diving like this. Could you get him to promise to stop? Ever? You wondered if he found leaving you as hard as you found letting him go? You hated to admit it to yourself, but if he did… he surely wouldn’t ever leave you… Your heart began racing as you saw “MOSCOW-RUSSIA-LANDED” Flash up on the arrivals board. Please let that be a charted flight. Please let that be Fraser’s plane. … Please Dear God let him be on it…! Fraser looked tired as they all filed up the escalator into arrivals. How he scanned the airport as fast as he possibly could. He looked like he’d been through hell. And you realised he probably had. But then his eyes found you. And he lit up; and everything etched into his face suddenly melted away. You took a few steps forward – but he had already broken away from the group and was running towards you. Up close he was certainly battered; but the strength of the hug he gave you, as he lifted you from the floor, let you know that was the very last thing he cared about. From across the arrivals hall the other crew watched as he placed his lips on yours; the way your fingers gripped his shirt and Fraser kept his arms around you even after he’d put you down. When you broke the kiss you were laughing; pressing your forehead to his your hands moved delicately to his arms, and you laughed again at something he said, before pulling him carefully and checking for any injuries. Fraser watched you do this with a laugh of his own. And Reynolds could imagine that he was telling you he was fine. Though Reynolds didn’t think anything that had just happened to them could really be described as fine… When you embraced him tight to you again your eyes flicked back to the group; and you smiled. Of course, you were looking to him specifically, and Reynolds gave you a small wink back. But you mouthed ‘Thank You’ which made him smile and shake his head ‘I didn’t do anything…’ Although he knew what you thought. If you got Fraser back in one piece; you would be sure Reynolds had a hand in keeping him steady. “Ah-!” Fraser pulled back from you for a minute; “Is this a good time to tell you it worked out-!!” “What worked out?” “The gold-! We got all the Gold-! You work for a metal exchange right? Could I run it through you… I mean… That works…?” “You can run it through the company, not through me.” Then you shook your head “Anyway-! Baby-! It’s hardly the first thing on my mind! All I want to hear is that you’re safe! That you’re okay-!” But you smiled; “I’m glad though… I know it was important to you… How was the dive?” “Good. Yeah… Pretty… Awesome…” You had a sneaking suspicion he was trying to convince himself of that as much as you; “But?” “…I might have lost my knife.” “Lost-!?” That was nowhere near the whole story “…You coulda lost a lot more-!” He inhaled; “We didn’t all make it back…” You knew what you were supposed to say so you said it “I’m sorry…” He was likely to be counting friends amongst that number… “…But… I’m also glad that you did. Fraser… YOU made it back… Baby…” His eyes did his smiling for him; “…I would never forgive myself if I left you here alone.” Suddenly that bright blue you’d been staring into flicked past you, and he really did smile; “AH-! Keeping her company I bet!” You turned to see Aiden crossing the airport with a laugh; “Oh, Geez. I mean, thank God you’re back!” They clasped hands; “Well, for her!? Absolutely!” Your eyes flicked between them as they talked and you smiled – nuzzling into Fraser again you kissed his cheek gently and untangled yourself from him. He let you go, because he knew you’d want to see the rest of the crew too. With Fraser’s blessing to leave his arms you ran across the building. Reynolds had to brace himself for your leap into his arms; “AHAHA-! Y/N! God-! Okay! It’s good to see you too!” “And you-! I mean I got you both back so…” You grinned “I’m.. very happy…” then you turned serious “But I mean it… Thank you… For bringing him back to me.” “I’m not promising he’s intact. It was… tough.” “I’m assured it was. I’m sorry.” “Maybe it wasn’t worth it…” His voice was lowered “…But when I see him back with you… That almost makes up for it…” But he smiled “However, Y/N, I will thank you for your thanks… Ah-! Now, I have the pleasure of introducing you to those you never met-!” Reynolds walked you over to a tall kid, certainly a kid by his face alone and indicated to you “Tobin, this is the member of our crew that unfortunately never was! Please meet Ms.Y/N.” You looked back to Reynolds with a raised eyebrow “Shut it Reynolds, you never saw me dive either!” He snorted “If you’re as good as HE is then I didn’t need to see it!” and then nodded to Tobin “We coulda used ya, you know, but this one is a good diver, it just so happens.” You smiled, holding out your hand for Tobin to take; “Ah-! Good! A new member of the crew. Should you be taking them this young!?” “I’m 19. Not that young…” Certainly young; even if you’d met Fraser before you’d turned 19. For a dive like this one was sure to have been, Tobin, clearly from Liverpool by the accent, had been thrown in at more than just the literal deep end.

Your eyes couldn’t help but fall to the dark haired, dark eyed man staring at you inquisitively from just behind Tobin’s lanky frame. He was new too, and barely looked cut out for what these men – to be honest, you’d happily classify this kid a man after that – had just been through. “Oh. TWO new crew members for a job like this!?” The usual Likely Lads all seemed to hesitate and shuffle awkwardly for a minute; looking almost unwilling to introduce the man. Reynolds knew he had to step up to the plate; “He’s actually a banker… he’s not reaaaally crew.” You folded your arms, not accepting of that answer as a reason they would shun him. “Crew is crew.” Daniels was sweeping you, the dress you were wearing, your demeanour around a tough looking bunch of guys. He’d seen the pictures and heard the banter they keep throwing at Fraser. How coming up here they’d all been teasing him again about it and telling the two of them yet to meet you; “Look for the best-looking woman at this airport.” “A woman like that with a man like Fraser… ugh! Travesty!” You took a step towards him, with an admittedly gorgeous little smile; Huh, I guess they’re right! She IS the best-looking girl here. “Y/N, It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for being part of the crew to bring Fraser back to me.” He had to hesitate at that sentence. It struck him hard. But he held out his hand anyway “D-Daniels… It’s… nice to meet you.” You noticed both his nervousness and the way that his gaze swept you. The two were almost certainly bound to be related; you turned to punch Reynolds’ arm; “Alright. What the f*** did you say THIS time!?” By the time you got to the last man the banter amongst the crew was friendly and at ease. But this they had to watch. And another sentence popped into Daniels head; “Yeah, except Robinson, she won’t be nice to Robinson she hates him.” “Y/N…” “Robinson…” “…It’s good to see you… with him.” “I know.” “…I hope… that he takes care of you.” “He will. Thank you for asking him. Whether I mean it or not, it means a lot to Fraser. And that matters the most.” “I know… I will… Try to call on him less.” You raised an eyebrow; “If I had it my way, you’d never call on him again.” “Aye, I know.” He sighed, and offered you a hand to shake; “…I’ll try my best, to leave you alone, for a little while.” You looked to his hand with a shake of your head; “And I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. Don’t make promises you can’t keep…” You took a step, just a small one, forward and embraced him. It was quick. But significant. And had the rest of the men lapsed into stunned silence “Thank you. For bringing him back to me. Especially after this one. But I don’t want to hear about anything this dangerous again with your name tacked to it. Okay?” “…O…Okay…” Even he was astounded at your affection. You gave a nod of understanding before turning back to your man. Fraser was now standing alone, having finished the conversation with Aiden. His hands were in his pockets and he was looking at you expectantly; You hugged Reynolds one last time; “I gotta go. But, maybe I’ll see you guys again.” Maybe?! Who were you fooling? Of course you’d see them again. You were as stuck with them as Fraser was with you. With one last look back you crossed to him. Fraser took your hand in his and with a smile, lead you towards the exit. He didn’t even look back once. *** As expected, the first thing Fraser did after chucking his (now super heavy) bag into the back of your car was check your glove box. He knew the pack would be there. Because you’d light up if the plane didn’t get in. He opened it and did a quick count as you turned the key ignition; “Oh. This was a 4 cigerette trip... huh? That’s bad... even for me... geez I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. It’s me.” “Not it’s NOT okay...!” He shook the pack at you “You shouldn’t even need these! I scare you when I’m out there. But you don’t take these because of things I’m doing. But because you think what happened to you will happen to me.” He sighed and threw the pack back into your car “..Truth is. If I was more careful. That never would have happened to you.” He sighed “And that’s on me.” You winced; did he really blame himself for this? Without this would you have even ever got together? You’d make it a joke at the time, but you were serious. How long had you yearned for him to touch you as more than a friend and place his lips on yours before then..? “Fraser. It’s not just the dive… Submarines have their own problems... Hull breaches… Uh… Engine failure… What if they can’t surface again? Surely that’s a thing?” He watched you try to list off every other possible worry with a shake of his head’ “But it scares me.” You stopped talking and turned to his serious blue eyes, the way he reached for your hand to pull you back to him. “…Scares you?” “It scares me that these thoughts of yours scare you enough to...” His eyes flicked back to the pack of cigarettes and he shut the compartment with his knee “…I don’t like seeing you like this.” “You barely see it.” He chuckled; “Believe me. I do. I know you… You know how much you mean to me right…?” “I got a good idea…” you leaned into him “I mean I’ve known you for long enough…” “You’re my best friend. Y/N…” You opened your mouth, to say something like… I know… or you’re mine too… But it got lost somewhere else in every other feeling that was fighting for your attention. You bit your lip instead and almost shied away from him… “…Can I please get you home…” His hand left yours, and the glint in his eyes coupled with a smirk; “Of course you may.” You felt an involuntary, but certainly not unwelcome, shiver cross your skin at the sound of his accent saying those words… You knew what was coming. And you had a delightful drive home to fantasise it…

It took less than a minute for both your feelings to engulf you as you closed the door to your house. How his hands ran under your dress and you pulled him up the stairs by the collar of his shirt all whilst making out and undoing buttons.

This used to be the best part of arguing with you; now it was just the best part of coming back. And with that gold forgotten at the front door now – Fraser’s thoughts were not on what he was going to do with it. Thinking; diving, tropics and making love to you on a sandy beach somewhere with no-one else around. But what he was about to do to you in this moment.

You were nowhere near the bedroom when he’d had enough of you pulling him there and lifted you, pinning you against the wall. He was strong, and balancing you there proved no trouble as he ran his hands up your thighs. The diving watch on his wrist beeped with his racing heartbeat and you were sure that yours was probably registering something similar. You groaned into his kiss and ran your fingers into his hair. He was right; you loved doing this; every time you got intimate; no matter how quick and rough or slow and sensual your fingers always tangled in it. And this time would be no exception.

Fraser was wasting no time; and you heard the clink of his belt buckle. You felt that throb of desire run through you just at the very sound. You needed him so badly now. It made you moan; and not very quietly. The smirk that drew itself across his face could not have been clearer. And you were clearly in anticipation of him doing something like this to you with what you were wearing… Perhaps because now he always did… He pulled down your underwear - black lace? Oh-! Fraser realised he might actually have been supposed to take your dress off. When he looked back to you, you were grinning. He growled gently as he kissed you again, pocketing them; “Welcome home!”

---

@dennismitchell @krnncsbtch @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad.

I promise to get better at remembering to Tag-!

#Fraser x Reader #Black Sea #Ben Mendelsohn #fraser #Total babe #this song sounds better than the lyrics make it look #I know it's clearly about going on the road / singing but I think it still works for their relationship.#Also #i kinda used that second verse in my first part #This is the retcon PART #50!#Ali #Alicia #Linzi Writes

17 notes · View notes

themagiciansreccenter · 6 years

Text

Author Spotlight: @under-the-shady-tree

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Well, my name is Lauren, I live in Indianapolis and groom dogs for a living. I have a very tight-knit family so I spend pretty much all my time hanging out with them and having fun being the “cool” aunt.

How long have you been writing for?

Since I learned how to write. My parents gave me a diary for my 6th birthday and from that moment on, I was writing all the time. I used to write stories about me and my friends and reading my stories during recess became a thing. I moved onto fanfiction once the internet came around and still continue to journal and write original fiction.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

A Life in the Day. I hadn’t written anything for almost two years. Life got rocky for a bit and I just couldn’t do it. I would get ideas for stuff, even The Magicians, but nothing would come of it. But that episode got whatever was blocked in my brain knocked out and it’s been non-stop since then.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Quentin. I just relate to him so much and understand how that brain could work. He comes really easy to me. Eliot also is one of my favorites, I find so much emotion and love buried under his persona and that is so much fun. Writing them together is just a joy. I also really like writing Margo and that one surprised me because I am so different from her, but like Eliot I’ve found what’s underneath all of her bravado to be so interesting to write.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I guess season 3 since it’s the most I have written about, but I’ll write where ever the inspiration takes me.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Right now my time is pretty much all focused on my timeline 23 fic, We Will All Be Changed, it’s kind of a monster of a story for me so it’s got most of my attention. But I have a few things brewing. More of the mosaic lifetime, kind of examining how Quentin, Eliot and Arielle worked as parenting team and how they dealt with her death. I’m also dying to write teenage Rupert!

How long is your “to do list”?

Too long!

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

That’s hard, I always hate picking favorites. I lean more toward Destiny Is Bullshit I think because it was my first big one and it’s what really got me going into writing again. I really found Quentin and Eliot’s voices working on it and found that I actually could write Margo. The response I got from it was so positive as well and it really gave me a confidence boost that I never had before. It also inspired more than just that one story (now 8 in the series) and gave me a way to fill in the blanks for the rest of the season and for their mosaic lifetime.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

I would have to say my fic All That Remains is Love. It’s a 5+1 story dealing with death so it might be too depressing, but it’s all of my favorite things. It’s missing scenes we didn’t get to see, angst and Queliot falling in love very slowly. I also worked non stop on it once the idea hit me and it drove me a little insane until it was done. It emotionally drained me writing it so I just want to shove it at everyone and be like “LOVE THIS!!!”

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

It depends on the length of what I’m writing. For the shorter fics I usually have more of an abstract idea and a few lines of dialogue or a surprise ending in mind. I have a few playlists for certain moods. (I’m a little obsessed about having a soundtrack to everything I do in my life, not just writing) Then I just start working it out line by line.

For longer ones, it’s a much bigger process because I like to plan. I don’t even consider starting a multi-chapter fic unless I’ve worked out the beginning, middle and end and what the conflict is. I create a playlist that goes to that particular fic and that always sets a good tone for me. Then I break it down chapter by chapter and start writing. I get the bare bones out, like the dialogue and where they are. Then I add the inner thoughts and actions and emotions and just kind iron it all out.

Sometimes it changes a lot while I write, sometimes it sticks close to what I thought.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I’ve only been writing since midway through season 3 and haven’t stopped so I see myself just writing during both pretty consistently. As far as what will happen, it will only inspire more. I have a series that sticks very close to canon so I can get all my added scenes and further in-depth peek into the show. So that will only help that grow. And ideas that fit out of that bubble come along too and I just go with it.

I think it would be kind of fun to continue some of my season 4 speculation stuff right into au territory because I’m sure what I wrote won’t happen, so who knows.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Of fics that are finished, The Mess We Made. It was hard because I realized early on that I was writing a younger Quentin and Eliot than who they were in Destiny is Bullshit. I kind of struggled with getting them to fight, because I just spent months writing them with a lifetime together under their belt and a deep understanding of each other. The Mess We Made was them a few years into that lifetime so they were still learning things about each other and experiencing things for the first time. I ended up kind of leaning into that difficulty with getting them to fight and tried to amp up the fighting to a few big blow-ups.

My timeline 23 fic is quickly becoming my most challenging though, it’s basically 3 or 4 full-length fics that sometimes crossover and then all end up mashed together. It’s pretty challenging.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

Angst, angst and more angst, lol. I am also a sucker for deep connections between people, be it romantic or otherwise, and really expose the good, the bad and the ugly about those relationships. So you know, more angst. But happy endings are my favorite too.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I’m always inspired by all the other Magicians fanfiction writers (honestly, Magicians fanfiction is really the only fanfic I read right now)

Alice Sebold is probably my favorite writer. She has a way of writing emotion in a way that feels really real and honest to an almost uncomfortable degree. It’s almost too real. Also the authors of my youth, Ann M. Martin and Judy Blume, I wanted to write because of them.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I am reading “Written in Blood” It’s a book looking into the death of Kathleen Peterson of Stairway fame. (I love true crime) Also, I’m actually reading The Magician King. My sister is reading the Magician’s books for the first time so I’m reading along with her so we can discuss. I also am keeping up on whatever comes up on AO3!

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Keep writing, whether it’s good or bad, just get it out and you can build on it later but it needs to be out there to fix.

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh man, I don’t know, I sometimes think everything I write is just a repeat of the last thing lol. Looked, people are always looking at each other and it’s hard to come up with different ways to express that.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

I wrote an American Girl fanfic. My best friend and I traveled back in time to 1774 and went on an adventure with Felicity! I still have it, in a notebook in a box in my closet. I have two boxes (not huge boxes or anything) of old diaries, journals and notebooks full of my writing. My parents didn’t want to throw that away growing up.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Self-edit

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? All of the above!

Smut, Fluff or Angst? angst!!

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn, the slower the better

Favourite season? 3

Favourite episode? A life in the day

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? The Magician King

Three favourite words? Triskaidekaphobia, Loquacious, Fuck

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

#the magicians rec center #author spotlight #author: rays/under the shady tree

15 notes · View notes

natsubeatsrock · 6 years

Text

“Lisanna meant more dead than alive.”

This statement is one that I've seen pop up very often. This always comes up whenever the discussion comes to her in-series role post-Edolas. As the argument goes, she was important to characters before she was thought to be dead. But when she came back, she had little to do with and was pushed to the sidelines.

A few years ago, I would have probably made a different post than this. What I would probably have done is defend Lisanna's usefulness in series to characters after her return. I'd maybe even blame the fandom for how things ultimately went down and point out the hypocrisy of this statement.

However, I've thought about this particular statement more as I think more about changing the series as a whole. One of the tricky things about what I want to do is make stuff that didn't happen in any form of Fairy Tail seem at least plausible. To do anything important, I have to justify my decisions with

I want to (and plan to) give her more stuff to do, but there's kind of a limit. Like, I could absolutely do stuff like make Lisanna about as important as Lucy to the series if I wanted to. She could be a member of Team Natsu who gets her own major fights and substantial screen time. However, at that point, I feel like I'd go too far past what could have happened.

And, after the whole thing with Mashima in France, I started to ask myself a different question: Would we, as a fandom, actually want Lisanna to do more in the series after coming back?

Off the bat, part of me is skeptical of this question because of the reaction to stuff like additions to the anime. Shinji Ishihara and his team added a ton of stuff about Lisanna that wasn't in the original manga. While I think that they're all amazing additions, especially when they deal with her impact on other characters, this isn't the consensus opinion. To many people, this is exactly the kind of thing that drove them to believe that she was going to do more stuff in the future. They wish this kind of stuff wasn't added so they wouldn't get their hopes up for the future.

But, that might just be me being pessimistic. I mean, after all, that's the anime. Any changes from any manga into anime usually are met with some level of hostility by fans. It would be insane of me to think that they could just add more moments for Lisanna and it not get ripped apart as stuff that didn't happen like most other anime-only moments.

And, of course, it's not like every addition the anime made was treated well by fans. Some (usually the Nalu-oriented stuff) are well-liked, but fans considered the anime-only arcs to be among the worst, usually citing Daphne arc as the worst arc in the series. (Not for long, though.) And Gruvia fans aren't too happy with how Juvia was treated in some of those arcs.

What about if Mashima himself decided to incorporate more of Lisanna in the manga? That's definitely worth thinking about for a bit.

After all, we apparently almost got a love triangle between her, Natsu, and Lucy. Would we be able to handle the implications of Lisanna getting enough time for fans to genuinely be convinced that she might end up with Natsu? (Not that what we got stopped fans like me, to begin with.) What's more, would this fandom be okay with the possibility of her actually ending up with Natsu?

And I know some of you may be thinking, "That would be weird, Natsu and Lisanna wouldn't be that popular." What if it were? What if Mashima actually wrote the series so that more people were convinced that Nali was going to happen over Nalu? Heck, what if that wasn't the case and it just happened that Nali ended up actually being the more popular ship?

Of course, that's only ships. There's plenty of other ways Lisanna could have been more important in the series after her return. For instance, what if she actually did join Team Natsu? Yeah, what if probably of the only things I like about those "Lucy leaves" stories actually end up happening and Lisanna actually gets to work along with Natsu, Lucy and the rest of the main gang?

What would that be like? How would she stack up against some of the more serious threats in the series? (Hopefully, her Tartaros matchup would be better than Lamy.)

But that's not the only way she could have become more important. What would it be like if Lisanna were to actually get more important moments as a side character?

Here's a simple one: What if she were the one to take Wendy's place in the Grand Magic Games, instead of Elfman? That would mean she takes them up to compete in Labyrinth, she's the one who gets to fight Bacchus (for herself and Mira, no less), and she'd still probably end up severely injured after the fact. Is that something that would honestly be seen as okay for Lisanna to do?

Now, I'm not going to pretend that I absolutely know how the fandom would react to these questions. However, I don't want these to be questions that the fandom as a whole considers. I feel as though you should ask yourself some of these questions. I think it would be irresponsible for me to do this and not give my own opinions on this.

I'd absolutely love to see more of Lisanna. I'd love to see how a potential romantic relationship, successful or otherwise, would be written between her and Natsu with a love triangle in mind. (Though, I'm absolutely not disappointed that we didn't get a love triangle.) I'd love to see what it would be like if she were an actual member of the strongest team. It would be cool to see how she would act in a fight post-Edolas. I mean, she showed more progress in her magic than Elfman.

On that note, I don't know that Lisanna going instead of Elfman is that insane an idea. Obviously, it didn't happen, but it's not like it couldn't have happened. Lisanna proved to be better than Elfman at Take-Over magic before going to Edolas. With enough training, she could probably outdo Elfman again in terms of skill. Of course, I say that and I'll probably make it so Elfman goes like in canon proper.

The one thing I would be worried about is that I'm not sure how getting more of Lisanna would impact her character. As the series went on [insert specific characters here that we all disagree got worse over time] were written as worse than they were introduced to us as. Of course, the rest of the series fell off after [insert point when the series fell off we can't seem to agree on]. However, it especially hurts to see characters act against established motivations of and learned lessons from previous arcs.

With Lisanna, we didn't have as much time to establish her character as, Juvia or Levy, secondary characters fans argue got worse as the series went on. However, a basic idea for her character was set in the moments we got. I'm afraid that Mashima would either turn away from her gentle side and turn her into just a prankster or turn from her playful side and only make her a sweet character.

But it's not like I'd expect the majority of the fandom to catch on to that anyway. I don't see a lot of good fan characterizations of Lisanna. That's not just from the perspective of "I can't believe that you idiot Nalu shippers would write Lisanna as even close to how you do when she kicks Lucy off Team Natsu" I took well over a year ago. Like, I can count on one hand the number of writers I've seen give good, canon-based portrayals of Lisanna Strauss in fanfiction. Everyone else usually writes Lisanna as “Diet Mirajane, with a twist of Lucy” or just “Diet Lucy”. Then again, half of the writers who write Lisanna in a way I like ship Nali and agree with a lot of the stuff I've said about it over the years, so take that for what you will.

And this goes back to the main question at hand: would the fandom actually want more Lisanna Strauss in canon? From what I can tell, most people don't even know that much about Lisanna in the first place. Of course, a good part of that is exactly why the argument for more of her happens at all. However, you're not getting a whole lot of it from the perspective of wanting more of her. You get it from the idea that she shouldn't have been brought back or existed in the first place.

The difference between the two is important. One is seeing how awesome a character could be or already is and wants to see those interesting things brought out more. The other is comes from wondering if something could somehow be made to be more useless than it already seems. One of these mentalities results in a character like Levy getting more screentime than originally intended. The other results in characters taking pot shots when the anime gets abridged.

There goes me being pessimistic again...

In Conclusion:

Regardless of how you feel about Lisanna's handling in canon, it's interesting to think about how she could have gotten more of a chance to shine. Still, I'm doubtful if the fandom wants more or less of her.

Oh, by the way, I participated in r/anime’s 750k writing competition a while back. I wrote in defense of the idea that Fairy Tail is a series that has good ideas with bad execution. If you’re interested, especially if you aren’t following my rewrite series, check it out. Be warned that I was a bit “stuffier” writing that essay than I normally am here and I don’t think it’s some of my best writing (as some people commented).

#fairy tail #lisanna strauss #fairy tail fandom #anti fairy tail fandom #ish? i guess?#ft rewrites #well not really #this was queued

10 notes · View notes

mrsquill · 7 years

Note

Prompt: Claire and owen are set up on a blind date and when they find out who their dates are (each other) how do they react?? ❤❤

Nicky, because I love you, I tried to get my crappy brain in some sort of working order for you. I’ve attempted this like, three times? This is the version I feel best about. I’m sorry! You’re the best ❤️

Owen checked his watch for the fifth time, clearing his throat as the other diners around him filled the air with mindless chatter and laughter. He was barely aware of them; pulling at the collar that was slightly too tight on him, his body overly susceptible to the tropical heat even inside the restaurant. Owen fought the urge to curse under his breath; at himself more than anybody else. Just why he’d even agreed to a blind date was beyond him - the only reason he held onto was the shit that Barry and the guys refused to stop giving him since he’d stepped foot on the island.

Attachment wasn’t his speciality, romantically or otherwise. Owen’s method? Get in, get out and keep your heart intact - and it had become engrained into every cell in his body, every move he made. There had been a few twenty-somethings who had whispered enough into his ear to be brought back to the bungalow for the night, but Owen had usually forgotten their name by the time they reached his belt buckle, every breathless giggle the same to his ears. No harm was done; the transaction satisfying for both parties involved. It was only the fact that his thirty-seventh birthday lie a week away that Owen was even sat in the restaurant at all.

Barry had nudged his shoulder the previous day; enquired about Owen’s eventual plans for ‘settling down’. He was caught off guard, rat’s blood dripping down his wrist as he surveyed the velociraptors beneath them. “Yet to find a woman who makes it worth my while,” Owen had muttered under his breath, alarmed by Barry’s grin, the man’s eyes twinkling. “How would you feel about dinner at Nobu tomorrow night?” His friend had asked, and Owen had laughed. “You certainly ain’t my type, buddy,” he’d said. “No, but I know somebody who is,” Barry had chuckled in response, before launching a tirade of reasons as to why Owen should trust him.

Owen swallowed grimly as he thought back to the conversation he’d had with his friend, agonising over the refusal he could’ve given, the cold beer he could be drinking on the veranda right now, undisturbed and left in peace. Instead; he’d taken a chance, a little touched by Barry’s obvious concern for him, willing to at least see this whole damned charade through. His friend had promised it would be bearable; that it was indeed a woman he already knew, and Barry would pay for the meal if the shit hit the fan. The thought made him smile; his friend’s face so animated as he tried over and over again to convince Owen of his good idea. On a deeper level; he was nervous - an emotion he wasn’t familiar with. He’d felt the tug of loneliness more often that not in the last few months; his last serious relationship almost than a decade before.

Part of Owen wanted the pent-up, quiet affection he could bestow upon a woman; he wanted the warm body in his bed at night, the breakfast he could make her in the morning. Owen wanted his clothes to vanish, his shirt resting against her thighs, sweatpants rolled twice round her waist. He dreamt of taking her to meet his mother, the keys to their first house together in his hands. He wanted her grip round his waist on the back of his bike, feet in the ocean next to his, his ring on her finger, his child growing inside her. Owen was nurturing a silent yearning, thoughts he could barely keep at bay. Who she was or ever would be, Owen had no idea, but he was damn near desperate for her to make an entrance into his life sometime soon.

He barely registered the door to the restaurant opening; yet turned his head to the sound. What he saw almost caused Owen to choke on the beer he had sipped to placate himself. Claire Dearing; as beautiful as she was unforgiving, eyes darting about the room before they finally fell on him. “Fuck,” Owen cursed under his breath as he took in her expression of surprise before she made her way toward his table. Her figure was wrapped in strapless olive-green, the material finely moulded to the curves of her body, the colour complementing the red hair sat on her shoulders. Owen abandoned all attempts to avert his eyes; Claire looked incredible - even more so than she always did, Owen mused as she sat herself down opposite him. “This is a joke, right?” Claire asked, smile playing across her lips. “Well, I ain’t half glad we’re both finding it funny,” Owen chuckled, eyebrows raised.

Hate was a strong word, but one he was sure Claire wouldn’t hesitate to use if asked to describe her feelings toward him. They clashed over almost everything; from food budgets for his animals to the pertinence of her emails. Claire thought he was lead too much by his heart, whilst Owen believed she wouldn’t know what compassion was unless it hit her in the face. Everybody who worked around them knew the tempestuous nature of their relationship; and Owen was kicking himself for not guessing the identity of the woman he’d been set up with sooner. “Barry said I wouldn’t come if he’d have told me,” Owen commented as Claire rolled her eyes. “Zara and Vivian said the same sort of thing. Correct on all accounts, I suppose,” she retorted as a waiter interrupted to ask her choice of wine.

Owen sat back in his chair in amazement, unable to stop his shit-eating grin. Claire was unbelievable; the little arrogance she carried in her biting words and confidently squared shoulders. Of course, Owen would have been lying if he said he hadn’t thought about fucking her. He observed Claire as she conversed with the waiter; the low lighting danced on her delicate collarbones, the cut of her jawline, the elegant turn of her nose. Her pale skin seemed to glow, breasts pushed to his attention just slightly against her dress causing Owen to finally look away, shift a little in his seat. He’d thought about Claire naked more often than he should have; her heels digging into his backside as he laid her over her desk, or his bedsheets wrapped around her bare skin the morning after having his way with her. Owen had always wanted her, but long-term? She drove him insane, and vice versa. They’d kill one another before she even met his mother.

“You look different,” Claire nodded toward his outfit, twirling the stem of the wine glass she’d been handed, “clean,” she added, and Owen laughed. “If I’d have known it was you, I would’ve got my best three-piece suit out,” he murmured, thoroughly enjoying watching her blush despite her best efforts. Owen lived to tease her, push her boundaries as far as they would go. The underlying sexual tension between them sparked like a live current, threaded through their words and actions towards one another. He knew Claire couldn’t stand him; but he could tell the same thoughts he’d had had probably ran through her mind, too, even more so when she sat just across from him biting her lip, eyelashes kissing her cheeks.

“Please don’t make this more difficult than it’s already going to be,” Claire sighed, taking a sip of her red wine, eyes narrowed. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he nodded innocently, procuring a laugh from her, Owen basking gloriously in the sound. “Okay, so, rule one - we don’t talk about work. That way, we stand a chance of actually getting along,” she said, and Owen raised his eyebrows. “Since when have you been in charge?” he asked, and Claire merely shrugged. “When aren’t I?” She replied simply, and Owen merely shook his head, unable to conjure an argument against her words. “Sure thing,” he agreed, “but are you brave enough to shot some tequila with me before we call it a night?” He asked quietly with a smile. Owen couldn’t help himself; baiting her with his words a favourite pastime of his.

“I’m sure it won’t be the first new experience I try tonight, Mr Grady,” Claire replied casually, pinning him with her gaze, sea-green eyes staring into his soul. He’d lost his upper hand in an instant, the war for dominance between them having begun, and Owen was more than game to play. He was enjoying himself already and they’d barely gotten started. He made a mental note to tell Barry that he owed him - big time. Maybe Claire wouldn’t be the woman he was pining for, but the idea didn’t seem quite so ridiculous anymore.

#clawen

33 notes · View notes