#every time i get the voice set in +r where they laugh when theyre hit i clap and cheer

[jaebaebie]

SKZ as your high school boyfriend (part ii)

If it seems like I got a bit carried away, it’s because I DID get carried away (IM SORRY THEYRE BOTH MY BIAS/BIASWRECKER, I couldn’t help myself)

Hyunjin

ok so hyunjin would be P O P U L A R ,, no doubt

good looks + talented dancer,, everyone obviously fell for him the minute he stepped foot into school

everyone except for you,, ofcourse

you assumed him to be arrogant and narcissistic

because him having a nice personality would just be too good to be true (like come on,, no guy can be that perfect)

you were so sure you were right about him

WRONG

it took you a hit in the face to realise that,, LITERALLY a Volleyball to your face thrown by Hwang Hyun Jin himself

it was just a volleyball game between his class and yours,,

and you were simply judging your female classmates as they were squealing over Hyunjin who was right across the net

then suddenly a ball whacks your face

and you somehow wake up in the nurse’s office with a very handsome and very frantic guy beside you, grasping onto your hand

“Oh my— thank god! You’re not dead! I’m really sorry,, I really didn’t mean to hit you. I swear! I just— I didn’t even— I’m so sorry!”

His rambles went on and on, which DIDNT help with the throbbing pain in your head, so you shut him up, “Hyunjin, it’s okay. Now will you please just keep it down? I’m okay.”

that didn’t make him feel better, so he offered to drive you home, glancing at you from time to time, making sure you were okay

shyly smiling when you called him out

when you parted ways, you thought that that was the last time you’d ever have to speak to him

surprising you when you found him to be waiting for you right outside your class, leaning against the wall beside the door

he’d ask you if you were okay and apologise for the millionth time

it was kinda cute because he was an absolute softie and sweetheart,, nowhere near the selfish monster you assumed him to be

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s okay?”

“I don’t know. I still feel bad.”

and somehow these types of conversations diverged into many more as he walked you to your next class

and these conversations continued in the days that followed as he constantly appeared to ‘pick you up’ from class, making sure to help you carry your books if you were carrying any in your hands

And like , TADAH, like all the other girls, you had fallen for the one and only Hwang Hyun Jin… OOOOOPPS

you thought he acted this way with every girl, but like,,, he was crushing on you real hard sis and you never noticed

he’ll confess first out of frustration because you never took the hint,, even when he was making it VERYYY obvious

as a boyfriend, he’ll be the kind to pick you up every morning, honking from his car with his signature eye smile

he’ll have some kind of breakfast ready for you, knowing that you were NOT a morning person (worse than him tbh)

he’ll interlock his fingers with yours or have his arm slung around your shoulders as the two of you walk down the hallways

occasionally kissing the back of your hand/ temple when he feels you tense up from the jealous looks of the girls around you two

which is why during lunch breaks, the two of you choose to hang out on the rooftop where no one’s focused on you two

he’d listen to you talk about your day, smiling lovingly at you with his handsome face

sometimes, you’d get distracted and completely forget which part of your story you were in

because how can one function when someone looks at you like how Hyunjin does

“And then Changbin —….” your voice would trail off, falling for his eyes as he gave you an expectant look, waiting for you to continue

“Wait, where was I again?”

He’d laugh and his eyes would crinkle into little moons (you know how it is)

then he’d give you a short kiss, before helping you out “You were talking about Changbin.”

“Oh. Right!”

you’ll be the first he shows his new dance routines to

you two take LOTS of selfies together #reallycuteIGprofilewithreallycutephotosofyoutwo

he’ll be the kind of boyfriend who gets pouty when you don’t give him enough attention during your study dates,,

would start clinging onto you/playing with your hair/ hugging you from the back/ being all cuddly and cute until you finally give him attention

surprise back hugs when he sees you by your locker in between classes

all in all, he’s a very sweet and cuddly and touchy boyfriend

Jisung

let’s just say you and jisung were already bestfriends with very fun and loud personalities,, aka crackheads

so obviously you two were setting up a kind-of-harmless prank to pull on Felix involving a water bucket and a door

how were you supposed to know that your teacher had forgotten his water bottle in class?

so,, major oops when your little prank resulted in an extremely drenched, raging teacher who sent the both of you to detention

you had to clean and arrange your school’s library,, which you got bored of within the first 15 minutes, choosing to throw yourself into one of the bean bags Jisung was on

“so, now that Jinyoung has graduated, have you found a new guy to crush on yet?”

you rolled your eyes, throwing a pillow at his face because you were NOT gonna have this conversation with him AGAIN

one, because it was annoying and two, because you didn’t want to risk him finding out that HE was actually your crush

you went back to rearranging books, telling him that you wanted to finish the task fast and get home,, so he FINALLY helped you manage the other side of your bookshelf

not long after, you noticed him talking to ryujin

obv you eavesdropped on their conversation through the little gaps in the bookshelves (though you barely heard anything)

you rolled your eyes,, its hard to like Han Ji Sung

because the boy is so sweet and nice and friendly to everyone

it just makes you crazy because there was a tiny part of you that wanted him to be sweet and caring ONLY to you.

your little spy mission was interrupted by Minho, a friend from dance, who started a conversation with you

little did you know, it was now jisung’s turn to eavesdrop

“What were you guys talking about?” Jisung asks through the gap of the bookshelf, following you as you went along the aisle

“And why does it concern you?” You ask back.

“Because I’m your bestfriend.”

“Okay then. Tell me what you and Ryujin were talking about first, since I’m your bestfriend too.

“Ryujin and Minho are completely different. Tell me yours first.”

you scoffed, offended by his words, “You’re being unreasonable! Why are you acting like you’re twelve? Are you like jealous or something, Han Jisung?”

he got cut off by the librarian, shutting the two of you up

by the time you reached the end of the aisle, he was there too, allowing the two of you to directly glare at each other face to face

you crossed your arms, staring at the stack of books behind him and avoiding his glare

“Fine, I admit. I’m jealous.” He confesses, “Are you?”

Your eyes widened, your arms fell down to your sides as you slowly nodded, “Me too.”

Is jisung’s part too long? Yes. Am I gonna keep writing? YES.

so, I guess you can say that’s how the two of you indirectly confessed to each other

you guys have a really nice and envy-worthy relationship because your boyfriend’s your bestfriend after all

you’ll have LOTS of FUN,, having after school dates at a fair, karaoke club

you guys have the same group of friends, and the two of you would sit in the same table during your breaks

sometimes, you’d sit on his lap and his arms would just be around your waist, cuddling you with his chin rested on your shoulder

whining for you to feed him a bite of your food,, which you teased him about but absolutely loved

concerts in empty lecture theatres you sneak into,

he’d have the mic, you’ll be sitting in one of the chairs pretending to be an obedient student

he starts rapping or starts advertising a random vitamin bottle he found on the floor

your stomach would hurt so much laughing,, just WHOLESOME

study dates with him would probably turn into a party as you guys start screaming your lungs out to Frozen

sometimes, when he’s having anxiety, you’ll skip school to stay home with him, making sure he was okay and well fed.

[c0untb00z]

I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

[parkjmini]

bts as fuckboys

[a/n]: inspired by @sweetersuga  | original post: x i wrote it as the perspective that you’re already close friends w them/have been with them before !!

Seokjin

he’s the funny, sarcastic one where he could be kind of mean bc he takes it a lil far

“you’re such trash you sleep with every girl”

“at least I can get someone to sleep with me”

he flashes a smile in the hall bc he KnOws iT GeTs oN YouR NeRveS

“When’s my birthday”

“January 1st bc u set off my fireworks baby”

“i am disgusted”

piggy back rides on those goddamn strong broad set of shoulders ooffff

“I’ll call you, ya?”

He never calls u bc he probably forgot too busy improvin himself

you have a streak with him and all he sends are selfies with the caption “I hope your day is as beautiful as I am (:”

He catches you staring in class one day and he’s like “take a pic, it’ll last longer babe”

And omg he ACTUALLY TELLS YOU TO TAKE A PHOTO OF HIM

so now u have a gallery full of jin and he wont let u delete them bc he thinks they’re all masterpieces you do too but youd never admit it

the only fuckboy that’s tolerable bc he’s rlly just a big goof 

“why don’t you ever have sleeves on your shirt jin”

“these shoulders are on display, honey, can’t cover up the jewels”

he’s kind of obnoxiously loud that u want to shove ur fist into his mouth to sh u t  him uP 

“dude, jimin’s hot”

“okay but so am i ??”

“ok ya youre really hot but so is jimin”

“jiMIN (Y/N) THINKS YOU’RE—-”

“–ANNOYING THANKS SEOKJIN PLS SHUT UP WHY R U STILL TALKING WOW”

“just trying to get my baby some more dick jeEZ”

Yoongi

“hey yoongs why dont we go on a date??”

“uuhhhhhh since when were we dating? lmao dont trip” 

gets a new number every 2 months bc he loves fucking w them crazy bitches too much

“sometimes you need to mess around with the ones who can bite off your dick, being risky is hot (-;”

“BEinG riSkY iS hOt ya u wont have a penis anymore at the rate you’re going”

kind of smells like a mixture of alcohol and cologne 

hand-on-ass-when-he-hugs

“let’s play a game, if u lose u have to take off ur clothes, if i lose u have to take off ur clothes”

“wait but yours stay on ?? wtf yoongi??”

“no mine will come off right after i see u naked (;”

the one to play with the ends of your skirt/dress/shirt bc it gets u so flustered and he lives seeing u flustered 

straight up Arrogantᵀᴹ at times its hot but ur so annoyed by it that u wanna knock some sense into him

wont ask for nudes but will ask to see some goods

“can i see ur tits”

“for the 4039th time, no”

“well, a man can try”

SMIRKY MC SMIRKY HERE like it just comes OUT of NOWHERE and it is OUT to ATTAC 

u dont have a snap streak w him bc it always breaks bc he replies every 3 years bc he was “busy”

but he’s always the fourth person to like your instagram posts???????

and to comment the water droplet/eye/tongue emoji combo ????

loves when u swat his hands away from gripping your thigh 

Hoseok

(i wanted to use this gif but it was so big and rectangle and didnt fit but u need to see that gif to really take in the fuckboy bc i cannot find a representation as accurate as that gif is)

always greeting you whenever he sees you

“hey babygirl”

“hoseok we just saw each other in chemistry”

“ok and????? can’t i say hi to my baby?”

“but im not”

“lmao every girl is my baby”

raises his eyebrows any time you fix your dress or your shirt

asks to borrow a pencil and never returns it

“where is my pencil hoseok”

“where is my kiss (y/n)”

“we didnt agree to that”

“well i didnt agree to give it back”

“dO u NoT kNOW whAT BoRRoW meANS”

loves to share so he shares a lot of his snacks with u

“omg i love snacks!!”

“oh baby me too” and trust me, he’s not talking about the food

has the brightest, kindest smile so it catches you off guard when he says some snarky fuckboy comment

loves physical contact !!!!! always has a hand on your back, or shoulder, or thigh, or hand, or arm

lip LICKING PARDON ME HIS TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLE

lets you wear his hats/jackets/hoodies bc he thinks youre sooo cute in his clothes

he walks around school with his hands in his pockets like a doUCHEBAG

catches you off guard by spinning you around with his arm around your waist 

uses the line “im a dancer” to get girls what an eyeroll

the type to drag you onto the middle of the dance floor at a club just so he could show off his skillz which are actually super bomb like even ur impress and uve seen them 308443 times

he got that sweatpants dick print 

Namjoon

changes his contact name to Daddy on your phone

Mr. Ass Man he loves ass ASS ASS ASS SO MUCH ASS BIGGEST ASS LOVER

“oh shit did you see her ass”

“look here bootylover123 stfu”

winks at you a lot in the halls 

“do you have a fucking eye problem namjoon”

“its a wink” 

“u do it so much that im beginning to think youre eye is having a spasm 

lets you copy his homework if he got a hug in return

the type to comment a peach emoji on your instagram photos even if there is no butt involved

loves when you sit on his lap 

one time there weren’t enough seats on the bus and he patted his leg for you to sit

“i know you hate standing (y/n), take a seat itll be fine”

“why can’t u be a gentleman and give up your seat for me?”

*alMOST CHOkES from LAUGHING* “me???!!! a gentleman??? wow u expect too much, just sit your big ass down on daddy’s lap or suffer standing”

buys you lunch bc he loves showing off his e x p e n s i v e w a l l e t 

he could go from having a full blown brilliant monologue as to why he exists to giggling about how your moles r arranged into the shape of a penis 

calls girls mami or ma 

asks for ass pics at like 1:32 AM 

and u send him pictures of ur elbow crease 

and he actually thinks its ur butt

BLASTS baby makin music from his car and causes a public disturbance 

has the highest count of broken beds, not bc of a high body count, but bc he actually breaks the bed everytime he sleeps w someone

Jimin

spaces out when ur wearing a low cut top bc hes too busy staring at ur cleavage 

his streak snaps are either mirror pics, his abs, mirror pic of his abs, and occasional dick pics

“wanna play 20 questions (;”

“we’ve played 20 questions like 20 times already”

“ok gr8 ill start first: will u let me hit it from the back??”

offers to netflix and chill all the time and it sux bc he actually knows all ur fav shows

ok let me reiterate, jimin knows all ur favorite anythings bc he listens to u 75% of the time bc he thinks ur voice is sexy 

will never fail to compliment you when u look good 

“damn baby, is this all for me????”

“no i just dont want to look like a hobo today”

gets super jealous when any other guys speak to u even tho hes piping down like 8 other girls 

“jimin they’re my frIENDS ur not even my bf why u tripping”

“they arent acting like theyre ur friends. i know fuckboy behavior when i see it (y/n) its my occupation, i do the same shit w girls”

“thats good then, someone else wants me too”

“not good bc ur HOT ASS IS MINE )-:”

youre saved as #1 babygirl on his phone no objections

walks into class with a new hickey in a new place every day 

he has SEX EYES u could never look him directly in the eyes bc theyre so captivating 

fucking walks like an arrogant prick down the hall and whistles when u pass 

brags about his big dick when its honestly not as exaggerated as he says 

has a picture of you in one of his shirts as his homescreen wallpaper 

Taehyung

“i wont show anyone, im not messed up like that” yea be careful w this one honey, pretty sure jungkook, hobi, yoongs, namjoon all know how ur tits look like

has the perfect innocent face where u have no idea that he’s fucking 4 other girls

always responds after 12 am and calls u at 3 am 

“tae im fucking sleeping”

“damn thats hot what else u doin??”

“hanging up on u goodbye im going to block ur number”

“pls don-”

uses the line, “i just dont think we’re compatible” on E V Ery GIRL 

offers to hangout but never follows up with it bc he’s never seen out in public with a girl unless its his momma 

“jasmine is telling everyone you gave her chlamydia, u get checked bro??”

“dont worry about it”

body count means a lot to him 

loves hugs bc he likes feeling boobs squished against him

sometimes INTENTIONALLY lowers his voice bc he KNOWS ur into that shit 

thinks youre playing hard to get when rlly u just dont care lol

“i know u want all of this, (y/n)”

“i think ur mistaken”

“right bc i want all of u (:” 

“ya tae let’s not get ur feelings mixed w mine ok thx u”

NO SUCH THING AS PERSONAL SPACE the boy is a koala and will latch onto u 

Jungkook

the biggest fuckboy of them all

has slept w almost every girl in the school and is v proud of it

“what’s your name again”

“rlly jungCOCK” 

“ok (y/n) i know ur fkcing name so can u learn mine”

u dont think he’s ever had a gf b4 bc he doesnt believe in labels OR commitment which hes pretty vocal abt 

unlike jimin, he doesnt own up to his dick pics and swears that they were “”accidents””

SCrEENsHOTS! but ur smart so ur face is NEVER in ur pics

“who’s boobs r on ur phone kook”

“yours”

“you WOULDNT DARE”

“i dont have photogenic memory (y/n) i wanted to remember those cuties without a shirt on (;”

looks too fucking good w a fresh cut that u need to avoid him in the halls or ull melt to goo

only owns white tees and timbs lmao hahahaha 

smirks when you bend down to pick something up 

that or he yells, “one more time, babe!”

“wat u doin”

“showering”

“without me!!1???” 

he’s on tinder too so once he’s done with the sampling pool at school, he can broaden his horizons 

a car enthusiast and will get offended if u dont think his rims r cool

thinks youre really hot when you yell at him or hurt his feelings 

youre his prized possession bc he actually likes talking to u but will never admit it 

has a specific nickname for u that he doesnt call his other girls bc its YOURS !! 

“hey cutie”

“hey jungCOCK”

hates the nickname jungCOCK 

[m0onbean]

skaterboy!AU yoon sanha

category: flOOOOOF note: dedicated to kaka~( @sanhasmoonbuns ) and completely inspired by this super cute photo so i couldn't resist writing this

at every school there's that "skater" squad that's considered really cool & considered popular

they would skate to school together, skate down the street to the mall, skate in the neighborhood, basically they just SKATE A LOT

and everybody at your school ADORESS THEM

"omg the skaters passed by my house this morning and one of the boys WINKED AT ME AIHFOAFIA"

"wow skaters r so hot"

"have you seen the skaters today ?1!1!! they ditched school omg"

"i'm taking skating lessons now"

but then you're just awkwardly there because you really DON'T care

i mean yeah skateboards are cool but in your opinion the skaters are just edgy teenagers who are rebellious and you don't really find any appeal in that

so one day you have to walk home and you do this thing where you always go another direction from the skaters so you can avoid them

but it's not like it's bc you hate them or anything

you just don't wanna be in the way when they SKRT SKRRTTTTT past you

so there you are walking home with your earplugs in when suddenly you hear that SKRT SKRTTTT

AND YOU'RE SHOOK BECAUSE NOW WAIT A MINUTE A SKATEBOARD'S GONNA RUN OVER ME GOSHDARNIT

and before you can move out of the way bOOM a person crashes into you from behind

and you stumble forward and scrape your knee and it's stinging really badly too

and then you hear a squeaky voice that sounds really worried and he's saying "ARE YOU OKAY" while rushing forward to examine your leg

and at first you're like "yeah i'm good" but then suddenly you get anGRY AND YOU'RE LIKE:

"WHY TF DID YOU RUN OVER ME COULDN'T YOU HAVE LIKE WARNED ME AT LEAST OR TRIED TO GET OUT OF MY WAY THIS SIDEWALK ISNT THAT NARROW"

and the boy which you now take time to look at eyes just widen a little

his hair is brunette and he has messy bangs that fall a little bit over his eyes

he's wearing this red snapback, earbuds are dangling from his pockets, and he's wearing a lot of wristbands

and then you realize huh this boy is actually really cutee!! wait no hes not lol-what am i saying

and he's lowkey scared but then he turns anGRY too and he's like

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WALKING SMACK IN THE MIDDLE SO I WOULDNT HAVE CRASHED INTO YOU"

"SO THIS IS MY FAULT?"

"I MEAN, YEAH"

"WHAT, HOW IS IT-"

then you two start bickering over whose fault it was for a solid two minutes before you look down at your phone and realize that you should've been home by now

so you're like oH SHIT we'll continue this argument another day then you usain bolt down the road

the next day, you're at lunch with your friends and you're eating your lunch and socializing

when suddenly a band-aid falls in front of you and when you look up it's tHE SAME BOY FRMO YESTERDAY

and YOUR FRIENDS JUST KINDA LOOK AT HIM THEN LOOK AT YOU THEN LOOK AT HIM 

AND THEYRE IN SHOCK BC WHATS A SKATER BOI DOING HERE

you notice that he's wearing a different outfit this time: backwards snapback and a green hoodie (still with those tangled earbuds though)

and his skateboard is still hanging loosely in his arms

so you give him the stinkeye and you're like "why are you here"

and i guess he wasn't expecting that response because he chokes on his words before coming up with "i got you a band-aid since you scraped your knee"

and you just scoff at him and show him your already bandaged knee

and he's like :O and he reaches his hand to take it back but you're like "no it's okay i'll just save it for the next time you crash into me"

the boy is obviously shocked but then he just laughs and says, "can't wait"

then he leaves not before winking at you and then you turn back to your table and your friends are ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) why didn't you tell us about this

so school ends and you're walking home alone AGAIN unfortunately

but this time sanha is lingering at the school gates while tossing his skateboard in his hand from boredom

then he looks up and sees you and he's like "oh (Y/N) wait up!" and he runs over to you

and you're just like ??¿?¿¿ how do you know my name

regardless, you allow him to walk with you anyways because it's lonely walking alone

and that's how you learn his name which is sanha

you and sanha chat about random shenanigans and argue over small things

"it's better hearing the bad news before the good news because when you hear the good news it'll lift your spirits and make you forget about the bad news and compensate for it"

"but that's false hope and expectation. it's better to hear the good news and THEN hear the bad news so you don't delude yourself into happiness"

and so this becomes a habit now; he would wait for you at the school gates and you two would walk together to your house. he'd watch you go in and skate away.

it becomes such a casual routine now and you actually quite enjoy it

one day you ask sanha why he doesn't hangout with his skater friends after school anymore 

and he just casually says "eh they're no fun compared to you."

and your heart flutters a little bit at his words even though he probably didn't really mean it romantically

as time progresses you find your heartbeat accelerating each time you see him and you would become unusually shy around him

but you being a stubborn cookie, you would never admit to having a crush on sanha although all of your friends know it too well

all of your friends think you guys are dating because you're always seen wearing his snapbacks and hoodies and sharing earbuds in the hallways

plus you two would often hangout during lunch together and sneak off into the back of the school and just listen to music together

and all these little actions he does such as pushing a strand of hair behind your ear or teaching you how to ride a skateboard makes your heart go sssKKKKRRRAAAA 

then on one fateful day as you two are sitting together during lunch sanha suddenly offers to visit the skate park together

and you're like sure! and then he says "ok let's go now" and you're like ب_ب wdym

"let's go to the skate park right now!" he says really cheerfully which is different from his usual chill and calm mood

but YOU'RE LIKE AIWHOADIFH DITCHING SCHOOL ?????

and at first you hit him playfully and scold him for even thinking about skipping school especially since his grades have been doing so well lately

and sanha feels down that you rejected him but then you look at his sad state and you're finally like OK WHATEVER LETS GO YOU LITTLE BRAT

and immediately sanha is (｡◕‿‿◕｡) again

using his past rebellious experinces, sanha is able to get past the locked school gates with you and your adrenaline is ruuuuuushhing because oh god what if we get caught!!!1!!

but when sanha holds your hand you calm down and you know that he'll protect you <3

once you two make it outside the gates, you both run away as fast as you can before somebody sees and by the time you reach the skate park you're both out of breath bc wow exercise amirite?

and at the skate park you two have lots of fun together (^̮^)

he holds your hands as you try to balance on the skateboard and even tho you're wobbling sanha laughs and encourages you to keep on trying

and once you can finally "ride" the skateboard he's never been so hYPED BEFORE

"yay now we can ride together!!11!!1!"

"sanha i dont have a skateboard lol"

"oh"

so when christmas comes up and sanha is waiting at the school gates you notice a pretty big present box in his hands

and you're like oh?? what's that

and guess what? it's a skateboard he bought for you and it's in a custom design of this really cool black and white sketch

and you're like in LOVE with it because it's so new and nice and pretty and you can't help yourself from hugging sanha really tightly bc wow thanks i love it omg

and you two finally skateboard together (although you occasionally trip and fall down but its ok bc sanha is always somehow there to catch you)

but you didn't forget about sanha's christmas gift!!!

you TOO got sanha a BRAND NEW SKATEBOARD since you notice that the one he uses is rlly old and is about to snap in half

but you put more thought into it by customizing his initials in it and choosing a plain design since sanha isn't into overly decorated things

and when you reveal it to sanha he almost cries because he spent all his money on your gift so he couldn't get a new skateboard but you got it instead for him

and then the next day he shows you that he carved your name onto the skateboard and you blush so hard and at this point your heart is soARRRING FLYINGGG

so in return you put the band-aid he gave you at lunch a long time ago onto the skateboard and he’s like bursting into laughter at the memory and he’s like obsessed with it

and obviously you can't hold your feelings in because you truly love sanha as a friend and as a partner

so one night at the skate park it's completely vacant and the sun is setting with pink clouds looming in the air

and you and sanha are laying down besides eachother in those big bowls used to do cool skateboard tricks while staring at the sky

and like always, you two are sharing earbuds and are listening to chill lofi hiphop music

until suddenly you turn around to face his face as he gets lost in the view above you guys

and you can see his eyes glowing like he's in a dream and you realize the beauty of love and how beautiful sanha is 

and then he looks at you and just smirks "what are you staring at?

"you." you bluntly reply

sanha just chuckles and stares back at you, forgetting about the sky

"are you just now realizing how sexy i am?" sanha teases playfully

you scoff but can't help to smile yourself

then out of the blue you lean forward and peck him on his cheek quickly

aND SANHA fREEZES because WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!1??

then you confess "i love you" before you can regret it

so he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tighter to him until your face is nuzzled in his hoodie

"i love you too."

“my knee still hurts tho i wont forgive you for that”

“you really know how to ruin the mood”

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs