#every time i see some goofy silly crushing sun it gives me th will to live

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

harpy Sun from the mythological creatures au would definitely flirt in the same way birds do where he shows u his nest and it's covered in miscellaneous stuff that's all red or yellow and if u choose to sit in his nest with him for a bit he's like 'omg we're married now' and he WILL cry if you inform him that human flirting doesnt work like that

[recipient-ofgrace]

Our story: her side

Originally posted here

The first time I was introduced to AJ was at a "Getting to Know You Luncheon" in 2012. My mom, sister, little brother, and I were new to our church and this was one of our first warm welcomes into the church.

This was not by any means the start of our story.

I walked away from that luncheon with very little thought toward the awkward-but-likable Filipino guy that my siblings and I had played guitar with. At this point in life, I was living in unrepented sin, but I knew that I wanted to know God. The years that followed were full of an insatiable hunger for God. I walked away from a life that cycled: Party almost nightly, drink until the sun came up, throw up, clean up, show up to church on Sunday. I was a well-decorated grave; on the outside polished and sweet, but on the inside I was filled to the brim with death, depression, anxiety, suicidal fantasy, anger, rebellion, and all sorts of wickedness. In the midst of this whirlwind of sin, oppression, hypocrisy and empty religion, I encountered the mercy of Jesus, saying "Stand you in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and walk in it. Then you will find rest for your souls." (Jeremiah 6:16)

The Lord met me in His gentleness, patience, and mercy and has since held my hand as He grows me up in His ways; stumbling often, His hand is ever there to pull me back up.I hadn't found a philosophy I could agree with or a set of rules that I could easily follow to quench my marred conscience, but I had encountered a real Man whose authority and power not only forgave me of my sins, but delivered me from the death grip of sin, temptation, disabling depression, and crushing anxiety and invited me to enter into His sweet communion and eternal purposes.

Cut to a TCA church lunch in the spring of 2015. In the middle of a casual game of ultimate frisbee, I remember noticing AJ D. in a different way for the first time. The reason I noticed him is that we slammed into each other hard in pursuit of the frisbee. It sounds silly, but I remember from that day on my feelings gradually growing toward him. For three years prior, I had been harassed by well-meaning friends questioning my feelings for AJ, and for three years I genuinely responded in disinterest. However, my interest was piqued, and from that day forward I became hyperaware of his position in any given space, I could recognize his laugh from another room, and my pulse sped up whenever he initiated conversation with me. I shyly and reluctantly began to disclose my feelings to the girls closest to me. While I suspected that he felt the same, I knew that concrete answers would not come for some time, and I knew that it was on him to initiate, and on me to wait. So I waited. It was not easy, or pleasant, and certainly did not come naturally to me, but by the grace of God, wait I did. I thought of Jacob waiting seven years for Rachel, though "they seemed only a few days to him because of his love for her." I prayed that the Lord would give me grace to esteem however much time I was to wait as "only a few days" (and seriously hoped that it wouldn't be seven years).

After about a year of nervous uncertainty, at last a close friend pulled me aside to tell me they had heard directly from him that he liked me. This news was exhilarating. The relief of knowing AJ's feelings were mutual toward me was soon overtaken by frustration. Though we knew how the other felt from secondary sources, the conversation had yet to open between us. I knew he was waiting on the Lord's timing. I knew I could do nothing but wait. So, again, wait I did.

Throughout the process, the Lord proved to be a guide, comfort, and confidant as things slowly, slowly, s l o w l y progressed. Months passed, emotions blossomed, and we had developed a closeness that could not much longer be umbrella'd under "friendship." It was Tuesday, January 5th, that I laid face-down on the living room carpet and poured my heart out before the Lord about how I felt toward AJ. I pleaded for grace and patience and joy in waiting. I cried out, praying that he would tell me how he felt. "Just one conversation," I asked of the Lord. On Thursday, January 7th, 2016, AJ DeSoto pulled me aside at a wedding at the Athens Botanical Gardens to tell me that he liked me, intended to pursue me, and was waiting on the Lord's timing to initiate a courtship with me.

The pre-courtship stage was dear to me. We would often "coincidentally" end up at a Starbucks near his home, and the depth of our conversations started to grow. As I began to get glimpses into the innermost mechanisms of this man, I could not help but fall deeply in love. I saw in him a maturity, stability, and integrity that was rooted in Christ. In addition to that, we both began to notice how alike our likes and dislikes, humors, dispositions, and visions were. We were prone to writing each other haikus, going on walks, climbing trees, and talking for hours and hours about God, life, vision, eternity, and other such matters.

AJ and I officially entered courtship on April 22, 2016, having prayed and waited on the Lord for His perfect timing. It was the Feast of Passover. Shortly after entering courtship, I knew AJ was the man I wanted to marry. The words "engagement" and "marriage" and "if/when" slowly started to speckle our dialog. Soon it became very, very clear that, Lord willing, engagement was inevitable, and once again, I was to do nothing but wait. And wait I did. And wept. I wept out of longing. I wept out of distrust, in both AJ and the Lord. I wept and waited, waited and wept. I am so grateful for the breaking I experienced in this time. I am so grateful for AJ's integrity and gentleness in this time, comforting me in my weakness, yet not yielding the conviction that he held from the Lord in order to appease my emotions.

On Monday, December 19th I broke down and wept after AJ (to throw me off) made it sound as though engagement would not come for a very long while. My journal entry from that night reads, "Tonight I am pressed on one side by crushing disappointment, on the other by the cruelty of hope… Help me to say yes to You in this." Again, I was to wait; though I had become acquainted with the waiting, and had experienced such sweetness with the Lord there, yet this time I wrestled for days with it. It appeared too much, too impossible this time. I was crushed. Finally, on Thursday, December 22nd, I called AJ before bed to tell him I had felt a release from the Lord, and I felt peace to wait as long as it took.

On Friday, December 23rd, 2016, AJ arranged for me to go to the garden where he first told me his feelings for me with some friends without me knowing that he would be there as well. As I made my way down the walkway where we had had that conversation, I looked up to see him coming down with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He led me to the bottom on the path where he read me a letter he had written two years prior in which he declared his desire to marry me, and then he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. I giggled. I giggled a lot. And nodded. I said yes! He surprised me further still by holding me, my head buried in his chest, laugh-crying, in total bliss and relief that this moment had come. It was the first time we embraced in such a way. It was the first time we held hands. And it was entirely, wholly, absolutely worth the wait and the anguish.

I am astounded at the character of this man. Anyone who watches his life, as I have, can see the fruit of a heart marked by a passionate love for Jesus. I am grateful beyond measure that this hilariously goofy, intelligent, humble, crazy good-looking, articulate, sweet, tenderhearted, and god-fearing man would set his love on me and choose me as his wife. I have cherished every moment of discovering who he is within the bounds of courtship, and I cannot wait to know him more, and to walk this narrow, joyful Way alongside him as man and wife, following Him who alone is worthy of our all.