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nighthaikyuu · 4 years

Text

heather (t. oikawa x reader)

pairing: oikawa tooru x reader

genre: angst

word count: 2.1k

i would reccomend listening to heather by conan gray while reading this!

you watched as his eyes trailed behind you. turning around slightly, you heard the familiar sound of laughter as your eyes fell upon her.

looking back to face oikawa, you noticed the way his eyes followed her as she walked by. if you had blinked, you would’ve missed the twinkle in his eyes as he took in all of her while you stood there, almost forgotten.

“tooru?” you spoke softly as you watched him slowly turn back to look at you, a smile on his face. however you didn’t miss the hesitation to look away, not even for a second.

“yea, you were saying?”

biting down on your lip, you averted your gaze from his as you let out a soft sigh. shaking your head, you mumbled, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

pursing his lips together, he gave you a worried look before ruffling the top of your head, “you sure?”

nodding, you plastered on a wide smile in hopes of convincing him.

you stood there as a slight shiver ran down your spine. you rubbed your arms with your hands in effort to get some warmth when you suddenly looked up, teh sight before you causing your chest to tighten.

as her eyes crinkled into soft half moon crescents, dimples popped up on her cheeks as she laughed at something oikawa had said; yet all you could pay attention to was the sweater that had draped her petite body.

the very sweater you used to wear when you first started dating oikawa.

“aren’t you cold y/n?” you heard a voice say, causing you to rip your eyes away from the heartbreaking sight in front of you. turning around, you faced iwaizumi who had been looking at you with a slight frown on his face. you watched as he looked past you, his jaw clenching when he had immediately realized why you had been standing there with that look on your face.

“you should talk to him, you know? this isn’t fair to you.” you heard him say. his words cut through you like a sharp knife; you didn’t want to acknowlegde this, that this was something that was actually happening, something that was tearing you apart slowly everyday.

so instead, you rolled your eyes at iwaizumi, plastering on an amused smile as you waved your hands in the air, “talk to him about what? nothing is wrong, is there?”

iwaizumi cocked a brow at that. you hoped he would just drop the conversation after you had just played dumb, hoping he wouldn’t be able to see past your act.

but you were foolish to think that. of all people, iwaizumi was the one who could see through everyone, no matter how big a facade they played.

“i get you don’t want to talk about it, but just trust me when I say the sooner you do, the better.”

with that, he gave you a small nod before walking away, leaving you standing alone with his words repeating in your head like a broken record.

oikawa’s hands ran down the sides of your body as he pulled you closer to him. his nose brushed yours softly, lips barely touching yours yet you could still feel the way he was singing along to the song that blared throughout the speakers in the club.

the dj yelling. the people cheering. the music playing. everything and everyone around you exuded a lovely mix of drunk happiness and for the first time in several weeks, you finally felt good.

your hands hung loosely around his neck, giggles spilling past your lips as oikawa pulled you even closer, his forehead falling against yours.

“tooru?” you whispered softly. his eyes falling on you, he nudged your nose in response before you added with more desperation in your voice, “kiss me.”

without another second to spare, oikawa pressed his lips to yours. your grip on his shirt immediately tightened as you smiled into the kiss. hands gripping your waist, you felt a pleasent shiver run through your body as you kissed him harder.

pulling away, your eyes fluttered open as you looked up at him through your dazed gaze. cheeks flushed and a soft smile on your face, your eyes trailed up to meet his when you felt a familiar ache fill your chest. you watched as his gaze fell past you, his lips that were smiling just moments ago now pursed into a tight line.

slowly turning around, pleading thoughts filled your brain like a rushing waterfall, hoping you wouldn’t see what your brain was already painting an image of. however, soon enough your eyes fell on what oikawa had been looking at, and your suspicions had been confirmed.

your grip on him faltered. feet shuffling backwards, you slowly pulled yourself away from his grasp before you turned around without another word, another glance, as you made your way through the crowd of drunken people.

a hand on your shoulder stopped you momentarily and when you looked up, you saw the very face you wished had never existed. you watched as she gave you a smile, her lips forming a greeting.

a scoff fell past your lips. uncontrollable amounts of anger, mixed with feelings of hurt and betrayal and jealousy filled your veins. biting down on your lip to prevent yourself from saying anything, you shook her hand off of your shoulder and shoved past her.

you pushed open the front doors to the club, the cold air rushing to greet you as the doors closed behind you, the air suddenly turning still and quiet. except for the sounds of the racking sobs that broke through you.

“how long are you going to ignore me for y/n?”

your grip on your books tightened. the sunlight that was shining down on you suddenly disappeared as a figure stood in front of you, his tall stature blocking out the sun.

your eyes trailed from his tightened fists at his side up to his clenched jaw; however, what caught you off guard was the tired look on his face. the usual sparkle was gone, replaced with a dull look in his eyes.

you let out a soft sigh. even in times like this, you were worried for him. when you were the one with the broken heart, the heart that had shattered time and time again into pieces you weren’t sure could be put back together.

“oikawa...” you started softly, when you watched him wince at the use of his last name. taking in a shaky breath, you pulled yourself together when you uttered the words you never thought you would have to say, “i think we should break up.”

oikawa blinked at you. once. twice. before you saw the gaze in his eyes shift from confusion to anger.

“what are you saying y/n?” he asked, his voice dangerously low.

your felt the rough edges of your books dig into the palms of your hands when you replied again, this time a bit louder than the last, “w-we should break up tooru. i think that’s best.”

you watched as he moved towards you, his hand reaching out to grab your arm but when he saw you flinch, his hand stopped midway, eyes widening at your reaction.

“i-i don’t understand. what did I do? what’s going on?” oikawa pleaded, voice laced with underlying pain, catching you off guard for the second time that day.

before you could say anything, you heard a voice from behind you.

“oh! hi y/n, hi tooru!!”

you and oikawa turned your attention towards the source of the voice, yet your gaze lingered on oikawa, enough for you to see the last confirmation you needed.

even if it was just for a split second.

you both waved as she walked past you two, completely unaware of what she had caused, of what she had done to you, of what she had taken away from you.

turning around, you started to walk away when oikawa grabbed your wrist, books dropping to the ground as he turned you back to face him. face a mere inches away from his, you felt his lips brush yours but you quickly pushed him away, hands on his chest as you made him stand a few feet away from you, heart hammering in your ribxage.

“tooru, please. i can’t do this anymore.” you finally whispered weakly. you tried to keep yourself as calm and collected as possible, but you couldn’t anymore. not when the tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall over any second now.

“y/n, why? please, just talk to me--”

“why would you even kiss me?” you rasped. your eyes fluttered close as you took in a shaky breath, “god, i’m not even half as pretty as she is.”

oikawa’s eyes widened slowly, brows furrowing in confusion. his lips parted, “y/n, what are you saying--?”

your fists bunched up his sweater, hoping he couldn’t see the way they trembled, “i just--you won’t understand so please...please just leave me alone tooru...”

you felt his hands cover yours, fingers gently brushing over yours.

“y/n...talk to me, please? who is ‘she’?”

you wanted to laugh. laugh so loud so that you wouldn’t break into a sob. instead you settled for a bitter chuckle as you pulled your hands back towards your chest. you hung your head down low, hair covering your face as the tears ran down your face.

at that moment, iwaizumi’s words from weeks ago appeared in your mind. “you should talk to him, you know?” “the sooner you do, the better.” he had told you yet you ignored him. oh how you hated yourself for not listening to him.

now everything was too late. everything was far too deep, too broken to be fixed.

“you gave her your sweater.” you whispered after several seconds of silence between the both of you. oikawa’s brows furrowed together in confusion when you finally whispered her name, her name that should’ve rolled off of your tongue venemously yet slipped through your lips softly, like a gentle whisper.

realization dawned on oikawa for the first time in months. he ran a hand through his brown hair. the motion itself was enough for your tears to fall harder. you didn’t realize how much you would miss running your hands through them.

“i-it’s just a sweater y/n, it doesn’t mean anything--” oikawa finally started, his voice laced with a hint of desperation yet you couldn’t hear anything past the words “just a sweater.”

your fists tightened at your sides.

“just a sweater?” you whispered. finally gaining the courage to look him back in the eye, your puffy red ones surprising oikawa, you repeated, “it’s just a sweater?”

taking in another shaky breath, your voice trembled with every word, “it may have been just a sweater to you but to me that moment meant everything—“

“y/n what are you saying—?”

“you like her better!” you finally cried, chest panting as you felt your heart get stabbed with every word you uttered, every word you had kept safely locked away, hoping if you never said them, they wouldn’t mean anything.

“y-you,” you sobbed as you brought your hands up to your face, your body shaking as you finished, your voice cracking “you had me wishing I was her. for months, I wished I was her.”

oikawa stood there. eyes filling with tears as he watched you cry harder and harder, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to move another limb in his body, to move closer to you and hold you like he always would, safely in his arms.

you didn’t know how long you stood there crying, whether it was ten seconds or ten minutes. eventually your eyes were dry, tear glands unable to produce anything more, heart empty and body cold.

you looked up to see oikawa staring at you with the same look he had when you had first mentioned her name.

with another sniffle, you wiped the tears from your face and bent down to pick up the books that had fallen to the ground.

pulling them close to your chest, you turn around and begin to walk away. yet you stop. just one last time.

you turn around and give him a sad smile.

“goodbye tooru. i hope she returns what you feel for her.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa imagine #oikawa hc #haikyuu hc #haikyuu headcannons

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