#everyone say thank you to this bastard for curing my depression and making me touch grass/j

[possiblytracker]

tbh i thought id have more to post abt when i got back but i am struggling to come up with anything more eventful than the goose i made friends with at my new volunteer job he was supposed to be an animal ambassador for a critically endangered species but he kept biting little kids so now he lives behind the scenes biting volunteers instead.and following me round the yard screaming

^ savage beast who will not be placated by such meagre offerings as day old lettuce

[flesymetahiq]

While I am preparing answers to the romance Ask, here is a small excerpt from Elinor’s childhood, you guys said that you were interested, well, let’s see, I hope you like it :3

Maybe bad English warning xD

Perhaps rude words may come across

The story is written on behalf of Elinor

In the mentioned moment, Elinor is 12 years old by the way

First meeting

—Stupid old man, — I thought, dragging my feet like a body devoid of soul, — The sun had not yet managed to peek out from the horizon, as my forehead had a date with this stupid, thick stick, I hate it! — my thoughts gradually turned into grumbling, as I was a bit afraid that my far from adequate grandfather could be anywhere, sometimes it seems to me that the walls, the earth on which I walk and the sky that spreads over my head, all this is his ears and eyes, then where is he from always knows about everything I do, how does he know about my every move? - He says, "protect the weaker, but at the same time he always hits me - a small, innocent gi .. I did not have time to fully regret myself , because I suddenly heard the screams of the Butcher.

— Here you are, you petty scum! Come here as you get earful from me! And then from your grandfather in addition! — There was a sensation that at that moment I was looking not at the another angry old man running towards me, but at the Gorgon, who turned me into a motionless statue with her sinister look. At first I did not understand what was happening, and maybe I could be understood, at the moment I was between reality and dream, as it dawned on me here. I abruptly remembered that yesterday, I found somewhere a whole tank of yellow paint, and decided to paint the shop of that same Butcher, because it always seemed boring and gray to me, he had to say thank you to me, but in the end he runs to me, obviously not with the best of intentions? And then tell me that there is justice in the world! Naturally, I did not stand like a frightened sheep, cornered, since I was a very dexterous and nimble girl, this old senile never caught me. However ... he threatened me with my grandfather, he would get me out of the ground, I stopped right there, waiting for the butcher to catch up with me. I began to wave with both hands so that he would not beat me. Finally, the butcher caught up with me, at this moment he couldn't touch me even with his finger. He stopped a meter away from me, grabbing his knees, the old man began to eagerly swallow air.At that moment I could hardly restrain laughter, because I understood that this was very inappropriate. I was not afraid to put my hand on the poor man’s shoulder, and solemnly greeted him.

— Good morning, Mister Akuya! Right? You looking very depleted.

— I...—he answered with difficulty, — I am.. I'm Akadzuya

— Mister Adzuya!

— Akadzuya!

— Akadu?

— Listen girl, I know what games you're playing with me now, and ... - He did not finish, because his lungs again demanded to be filled with air.

— Mr. Kakadu, let me help you, I will cure you, — I said sweetly, putting my hands on the old man’s shoulders, whispering a spell, light began to come out of my hands, — I will cure you of everything, you will be strong , you will run as if you hadn't two legs, but as on four legs! I swear! You know I'm magician, right?

I heard that this old man is far from being smart people,but he was very close to the rude beasts. He had already forgotten about my pranks, my proposal was noticeably interested in him, because he really knew that I was not an ordinary girl, I was just as good as any, but I own magic.

— You said strong?

— Yes, exactly! But, on one condition — you will forgive me and don’t tell anything to my grandfather, in addition, I will promise never to paint your shop again!

— Right! — The Butcher remembered, and he almost grabbed me, but he stopped right there, my offer was too tempting, — Okay, little bastard, so be it, you heal me and make me omnipotent, and I forget about what you done.

- Great! That decides me! - I replied joyfully. Although many people tell me that I look like a little angel, in reality I'm little devil. I remembered that a week ago I found a spell that turns one animal into another, I decided to practice and turned squirrels into hares, and other animals (except hares), too, for some reason I managed to turn everything into these fluffy, eared cuties, however I haven’t practiced in human yet, but people are still animals too, so I didn’t see much difference at that time.

After all, I promised that this old donkey will run as if on four legs? I always keep my promises! Closing my eyes, I whispered the following spell, after which I removed my hands from the butcher's shoulders and stepped back a couple of big steps. I imagined a hare, fluffy, old with huge ears, its fur is not completely snow-white, it is with brown spots, a very cute hare - a butcher, and what was my surprise when I opened my eyes and saw that hate that I had imagined! I was so glad that I managed to turn a donkey into a hare, without any serious practice at all! I wish grandfather saw this, yes, he would be extremely mad at me, but I'm sure he would appreciate my abilities! Maybe...

Clasped hands, I jumped with joy and hare— butcher was jumping too, a thousand lights sparkled in my eyes, my first steps to becoming a great magician! Unlike me, a hare, a hare butcher jumped on the spot not from joy, but from panic and fear, he just couldn’t say anything and even did something to me, which made me very happy.

_ That's all, Mr. Akadzuya, now you can run on all four paws! Believe me, you are now much quicker than me, as I promised, and judging by your solemn dances, you feel very good! Well, do not thank me, I am always happy to help! - Playfully giggling, I headed further where I was going. But the hare Akadzuya began to chase after me, running ahead. He sometimes got on two legs, supposedly threatening me, seriously? Did he continue to threaten me even as a small defenseless animal? Fun. Naturally, I did not pay attention to him, I too lost in thought about how talented and unique I am.

The sun was gradually peeking over the horizon, scattering its rays anywhere. The dew on the grass began to shine with almost all colors. The light cool breeze seemed to be the conductor among the orchestra of the leaves of delicate cherry trees and mighty sycamore. I did not have time to blink, as whole flocks of birds occupied the sky, each of them, large and small, tried to shout out to each other, although it was a kind of war, it was quite beautiful and harmonious. For a couple of days of arrival in this village, I managed to remember the local surroundings, given that the village was far from small, probably because the nature of this place was breathtaking. Indeed, if you live in a boring palace and the maximum where you can take a walk is your garden, it would be very difficult for you to remember places like this village.

Grandfather came here with me after I put forward my claims regarding my dream. I always used to talk about my dreams, and probably my grandpa and all the adults around me in the palace, simply could not stand the opportunity ... What kind of dream would you ask? Well, my father Viktor is the ruler of a large kingdom called the Augusei, but besides all this, he is a real hero who almost every day saves someone’s lives, he participated in many battles against the monsters and evil demons that this Kingdom is infesting with, and looking at him, I always wanted to become the same, I made an idol from my father. Every year I see him less and less, only seven years ago we were inseparable, he often told me about his adventures, read bedtime stories, played with me, joked and was just a friend who was always with me. Now .. Now I’m a little lonely, my father has a lot of things to do and problems, and he haven't simple free minute but I know.. he still cares for me. Somewhere deep down in my heart, I am very offended by him, although I try to understand him, but this does not repel my respect and pride for him, especially the dream of becoming like him.

Dad often talked about my late mother Akane, whom I vaguely remember, since she died when I was still very tiny. She was a very sweet, kind woman, so my father loved her madly, after her death, I would not be surprised that he was very depressed by grief, but this did not stop him from smiling warmly at the sight of me, indeed, I never saw him sad, all what I can do is guess what he feels when he looks at me and remembers her ... After all, I look so much like my mother..

I am also sure that my mother was a wonderful magician, because my father did not possess any superpowers at all, but he was an excellent strategist and fighter. And my mother’s father, that is, my grandfather Fuji, whom I managed to grumble in the morning, was also a magician, and most likely a fighter. After all, in addition to spells, he promised to teach me various military techniques. Old Fuji is very responsible and strict, so I don’t like him, sometimes it seems to me that he hates me ... (However, this is not so at all).

It was to this village that he brought me, because there is a great landscape, in addition to valleys and rivers, the village is surrounded on all sides by mountains, which makes it safe and even impregnable, and the air in the village adds strength, there are also a lot of my distant relatives, who also have something to learn. It was just to them that I headed along with the hare Akadzuya.

Oh sure ... Grandfather said that he has a couple of students with whom he will introduce me, we will be a team! Or maybe we will even become good friends! This was so pleasing, because like this I never was in team, for some reason, everyone around tried to avoid me, both children and adults, but why, I still can not understand. Sometimes I thought, because I am very energetic and like to make all kinds of disgraces, well, well, I'm not the only one, right?

Then why is everyone so aloof from me? I hope my team will not avoid me .. Anyway I will try my best!

Approaching a large wooden two-story house, grandfather said that it was called Engava, I first saw such houses, and indeed the architecture and people in this village made it seem like I was in a completely different world, everything was unusual and unfamiliar to me here, but it even pleased me. Like many children, I really liked to learn something new.

Before I came to the veranda of this house, I went through a fabulous garden that didn’t look like a garden in which I spent most of my childhood, I won’t say that my garden was any worse, I’ll just remind you to see similar gardens full of trees with pink flowers, for me it was an innovation.

Before I came to the veranda of the house, I went through a fabulous garden that didn’t look like a garden in which I spent most of my childhood, I won’t say that my garden was any worse, I’ll just remind you to see similar gardens full of trees with pink flowers, for me it was an innovation.

When I stopped at the threshold, my grandfather met me, his gaze was oddly soft and calm, he ordered me to leave my shoes on the threshold, which I did.

- What is it? - Suddenly asked Fuji looking at the Butcher,who was turned into a hare, and who was reaching for my grandfather, as if he wanted to say something to him. Honestly, I completely forgot about him, so my grandfather’s question made me sweat a little.

- Ahhh ... It's .. - I said uncertainly, yes ... yes,I found him on someone's garden bed, thid robber was gnawing someone else's cabbage, and so that farmers would not make a chop from him, I decided to take him for a while, you don't mind grandpa?

I had to lie, although I sounded very confused, my grandfather did not suspect anything, at least ... At least it seemed to me ...

Sighing, my old man continued.

- So be it, then take him and wash, you never know where he went besides dirt.

- You do not mind?! Is that true?! Thank you, Grandpa! - Today will definitely be a day of surprises! The butcher, although he did not like it at all, nevertheless, I managed to catch him quickly and attach him to myself so that he would not run away - But what about ... well ... Your another students? How many students do you have, generally? Do you have them for a long time? Are they my peers?

— Less questions and more work,— grandfather sharply answered, pointing with his hand to the other door, — The bathroom is over there, you will wash this animal, and then I will explain everything.

— Ah ... although what was I hoping for? Grandpa... at least torture him, will still remain the same grumpy grumble. Well, okay.

I led the hare into the bath, he was still resisting.

—I think it’s a pity to learn, and ... and ... I’m ashamed, — I said quietly while closing the bathroom door so that he wouldn’t run far and grandfather would not hear my conversation, — it’s true, but, you see, I’m very ... I was scared when you threatened me with my grandfather, so let's agree, I will look after you a little while you ... well, while you’re a hare, and then I will turn you back into a human, and then we will leave, and I won’t touch you and your shop either! Even ... even wash the paint, just do not tell grandfather! - I folded my hands and bowed in apology, somewhere I saw that someone were doing something like that , I was not used to it, but it would be more unusual to get some kind of punishment from my grandfather, - Please! In any case, I will turn you back into a human!

The butcher guarded his ears, his eyes looked strictly at me, but soon he relented, in any case he didn’t know what could be expected from me, so we both had nowhere to go but a compromise. And this, to be honest, really pleased me.

Fifteen minutes later, I left already with a hare shining with purity. At that time my grandfather was talking with some unfamiliar elderly lady, who, having seen me, bowed.

— Madam Elinor, it’s good to see you, oh, it's looks like...I ... I see Akane in front of me, — embarrassed, I did the same thing, the old woman, with difficulty straightening up, she began to wipe a tear from her eye and smile warmly.Akane? Does she know my mother? Maybe she is just one of these distant relatives that Fuji was talking about. I said nothing, because my whole body was constrained by that inconvenience and the shame that I experienced , I found it strange and could not justify my reaction — will you stay with us for the summer? Yes? It’s wonderful, this place is so good, so fresh, beautiful ..

— Yuna,— my grandpa interrupted het ,recalling that she had stepped back a little from an important topic.

— Oh, yes, excuse me,I always talk about silly things. well,as you understand my name is Yuna,nice to meet you,I will take care of you, and young Madara and Tsunobi, while Mr. Fuji will have important things to do.

Madara ? Tsunobi? This is must be my team! I can't wait to see them!

I wonder what other “important” things are there besides training my old grumbler has.

I didn’t ask further, the fool knew that I want to finally start training and getting to know this mentioned guys. Therefore, Grandfather immediately went with me to another room where two of my peers were waiting for us.

These were two boys, a blond with a fairly long hair, who looked at me with his angry, bright yellow eyes, over which lush black eyebrows and a brunette stretched with even longer hair and dark blue, kind eyes.

- G.. Greetings! - said the dark-haired bowing to me, - My name is Yamata Tsunobi.

— Pleased to meet you, Tsunobi, my name is Elinor, you can call me just Ellie, If you want.

Tsunobi was noticeably embarrassed and even blushed, his face resembled a huge tomato, but Madara looked away from me somewhere on the wooden ceiling. Very gentlemanly.

— And then,— I continued looking at the blond boy— you're Madara,am I right? I'm glad to meet you too...

- Did you bring a hare for lunch? - muttered Madara. Akadzuya immediately flinched, but I reassured him, clutching to myself.

- Nothing like this!

- Then why drag any rubbish to training? How stupid it is.

We just saw each other, and I already began to dislike him, even with a teacher he is not ashamed to talk to me like that! But in response, I just smiled.

- Well ... But you are also present at the training.. so why not?

Madara clearly did not understand my joke ..

- So what?

- Yes so .. nothing

— Enough, Grandfather interrupted us, — after all, you didn’t come here because of conversations, did you? After you introduce yourself to each other, I must to tell you something..

[morana-bel-blog]

You are not going to regret

John Seed/Nick Rye. Maybe it`s R.

Note: Well, how you can see, it`s a fanfic :D I`m so sorry for that shit just because I`m sure there are a lot of mistakes after translation from russian to english. However, I tried really hard to make it so I just can`t not share it. Sorry bros :D And of yes, it's kind of a songfic. So, Starset - It has begun.

- Nothing could ever stop us from stealing our own place in the sun, - another's voice was sneeringly shaking beside Nick`s ear, and anger boiled harder, ready to splash out worse than any volcano. Rage covered his eyes with a red shroud disturbing him from vision and thinking. That thrilling part of his heart which people usually called the Demon on the left shoulder annoyingly whispered in his ear about the importance of exactly this fucking sectarian blood. He was stopped from irrational but so challenging wish to beat showboat`s muzzle by ropes which tightly tightened his wrists

    Nick didn't even make an afford to take cultists seriously when they came up to their county. Their strange Father with a funny hairdo, his insane and just scaring family in which they all crazy as hatters. Psychopaths’ kin. Mostly – John Seed in his pricy outfit and with a sly spark in his blue eyes. Ray couldn`t understands how that person could belong to a cult – he can`t stands any rules and slightly looks like a rebel. By the way, interest in cult disappeared quickly just because Nick had some things to do and problems without them. Fanatics are everywhere. However, not everywhere fanatics have guns…

   Everything changed in some weeks. Maybe months. Rye couldn`t say exactly in what moment countdown started. He just understood on someday that it`s time to see off and get away with Kim from all this shit and shoot up more this bastards for last. However, Kim didn`t support his decision and insisted on being in their native soil. All variants in one moment lead to one – war. So, Rye had to learn war art really fast, moreover fact that he has someone to protect from cultists pushed him and gave more and more force. Fear that he can lose his meaning of life in one moment makes him clench his weapon stronger. Nonetheless, how good he could be as a pilot, the army remained an army even if it was unorganized and not really big. Sectarians wasn`t just relentless and ruthless, but absolutely fearless like if they thought that death can`t come for their souls. Although, Nick was sure that it`s not true – he checked it out without any request as soon as possible. He personally stabbed a bullet or two in their empty noggins with abnormal pleasure sending them to their non-existent God. Maybe he will teach his stupid child not to mess with Nick-fucking-Rye. So if immortality of «God`s servants» pilot denied a million times he wasn`t so sure about Seed family. They looked down on everyone next to them like they are Gods trembled from the Heaven. Unfortunately, Nick is atheist. And that couldn`t save him from meeting the God who stayed right in front of him with his poisoned grin and weirdly shaped knife. Wish to check his lifespan becomes stronger by every second.

    Be caught in his own house was really humiliating and silly.  All he made it was tossing Kim in deputy`s hands and closed the door after their leaving trying not to draw the attention of his wife`s fierce shouting and gloomy military glance. Almost that's more important than his life. Almost they wouldn`t kill him. No, they`ll try to enlist him. And knows John - it`ll be better just to kill him immediately.

- But now everyone knows that fairytales aren`t found, - the younger Seed keeps ranting watching useless but desperate attempts to escape with sadistic enjoyment, - It`s written on the walls. It`s downs out in the air. Collapse is just around the corner.    

John squat down nearby him, squashing his knife and looking into his wild and beastly eyes.

- Go and fuck yourself, - Rye hissing, baring one`s teeth. Inquisitor smiles wider and topples him on the floor by pushing him lightly on his chest.

- Someday we will face the odds against us together, - he spreads his hands and set on his knees to touch Nick`s cheek, snuggle his hand to his face. Rye growls and John mentally compares him with a cougar which is cornered in a small cage and wore a collar. This comparison makes him grin again, - And we will run away from the Collapse. Together, like a big family, - he leans closer and Nick huddles on the floor with the hope that his native house will save him from every danger, - And then, after the world ends, we'll see how the seed of new world grows up from the ash. I want you to be with us at this moment. You and your wife... - Nick lost his temper and spit in his face with understanding what will this cocky liberty cost him. However, he was ready to do it for hundreds of times just to see this human astonishment in his nonhuman face and make him shut his mouth. Sometimes it's necessary to remember that he and his family are just humans, like Nick. Just little bit crazy fucking and deserves a gallows. The public gallows.

  Other`s thin fingers clenched around Nick`s neck immediately, and Rye feels cold coming from them. Rage flows him with the head and spits out with a dry suffocating cough. Everything floats in his eyes besides these fucking blue eyes.

- You are a fucking psychopath, - he hisses it with all anger he has, and his voice wheezing because of lack of oxygen which was decisively dislodged after John`s knee pushed right between his legs. At this moment Nick really wants to suffocate but damned Seed keeps him closely in the middle of life and death. Ray truly can`t understand, where is he. Feelings like he`s close to the hell.

- Well, well… - John`s voice whispered it close to his ear and Nick, trying to find the rest of his power somewhere inside, twitched again, wounded his wrists. Something has fallen atop on the second floor, then Nick hears sectarian`s dissatisfied voice but John doesn`t distract from Rye`s eyes like if he heard nothing. Nick really wants to kick his ass. Nick really wants to run away, - The longer you resist, the sicker it`ll be for you. All you need is just say "Yes".

     Nick suffocates but resists.

- You`re a fucking asshole.

He has powers only for swearing and evil sight right in Seed`s soul. However, his experience tells him that John Seed hasn`t got a soul. And fear. And an ability to take his freaking grin away at least for one minute, fuck.

     The knife balked near his shoulder and cut off the skin, getting into and carving meat from the flesh. Rye starts screaming mentally or out loud. At some moment it becomes not just hard but impossible to understand. Blade touches his skin again, now near the collarbone, and Nick bites his teeth not to shout up something he`ll regret about.

- You`re prideful, - John chuckles and confidently seats right between Nick`s legs. Rye tries to fetch away what caused new wound from collarbone to armpit, - And wrathful. And most of all - greedy, - Seed looks on curve cut with dissatisfaction like he`s an aesthete who can`t find a meaning in some expensive exhibit. Nick doesn`t think that he would be an icing on the cake in this exhibition but he deserved the youngest Seed`s attention. Even if he didn`t want it as much as he can, - And then, when the Collapse begins, only peeled will survive. I just wanna to help you, - he leans forward and weakly, occasionally touches his nose to his and Nick roars again, making Inquisitor laughs more.

- And what`s your sin, bastard? – He tilts his head and boldness helps him see clearly for a moment. Seed stops only for second raised his eyebrow with astonishment after what he stretches his neck and unhooks upper button on his showoff blue shirt.

     Scratched "Sloth" upper his collarbone catches the eye not right away. Firstly Nick noticed some tattoos, scars, and scratches and only then inscription which were half-closed by the cloth. John, as if he read his thoughts, unbutton next toggle and Nick grins with mistrust. Inquisitor and Sloth? Rye can`t believe this. The Wrath would suit him better.

- Can you see, Nick? - he talks calmly and without his grin, looks at him seriously, so Rye feels shook, - I could accept my sin and get rid of it. Get rid of despondency and depression after losing my brothers and after abuse from my family. I could give thanks to them. Because without them I wouldn`t have a chance to atone my sins and went to this new world.    

Rye calms down for a moment just thinking about it, trying to understand and repeat his words in the head. It doesn`t help.

- You`re sick.    

Inquisitor grins again after Nick`s phrase. Knife edge abuts to his chest, not cutting too deep and slowly moving down. Nick hopes that he doesn`t whine aloud.

- I know you want me to stop.  

 In blue eyes over against - condescension and rage, mockery and hatred, pride and fatigue. Nick can hear his phrases only partly, Seed`s fingers release his neck only occasionally. Oxygen becomes not a necessity but luxury.

- I`ll save you, Nick Rye. Without asking a permission.    

Nick coughs because of shook and lack of air. Fucking Seed push on the knife right above his belt.

- And then you`ll be grateful. You`ll thank me. And not only for one time.

     The blade doesn`t stop and tear the cloth of his jeans, and Rye feels himself on a hell`s chill and on an infernal heat when his blood blunder Inquisitor`s hands and floor, and, still hot, warm his bones and flesh. It cures his mind and poisonous it again. Nick gets lost in his own feelings; tries to pull his hand, to ask for help, but ropes compel him to fall back call to memory about who is now in front of him.

- Just say…    

His voice breaks off or Nick ceases to hear. Wounds itch, hurt, whine and just prevent living in exactly this moment. Nick sure that they`ll leave behind some white stitched strips on his tanned skin. Back of mind, he catches himself on thinking about how scars adorn men. Every man. Sight abuts in scratched "Sloth" in Inquisitor`s collarbone.

     John bends over newly, and Nick can feel his breath on his cheek. In contrast, he feels cold steel on his hip. That sucks. Short and heavy exhalation, then - a cough. It seems to Nick that Death himself is sitting right in front of him. And if John Seed isn`t immortal, Nick Rye won`t believe this.

- Yes.    

His voice is so worn out that he becomes afraid. Then, when the heaviness of another`s body pressures on the lungs and cols thin fingers unclenched, it scares him stronger. Algidity of the blade finally receding so Nick can concentrate on his pain which isn`t so terrible but suffocating not worse than John`s fingers.

- Yes, - he repeats it again and can`t understand why he made it, trying to prove it to himself. Or to John. Or to the whole world which decides to stop in this fucking moment when thoughts about Kim, about the deputy, about his daughter faded into the background. Only indistinct spot left. Solid and foggy, this spot leaves behind the only scorched field, empty and dead. Only these fucking blue eyes of the youngest of the Seed left. With dilated pupils, flashed with childlike joy. Only his strange knife left, all in Nick's blood. And his voice. Left in Rye's head, sowing on the subcortex of the brain. Nick was sure that this voice is with him till` the end of the line. This fucking goddamned voice.

- You are not going to regret. I promise.

[kaywritesthings]

Handsome Moxi

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack was pissed off and had a screamng new siren to deal with. He wasnt as 'nice' to her as he was to his daughter. She lived in a safe palace. She lived in a cyclinder. Handsome Jack was done being nice and having fun. He kind of enjoed the vault hunters running around doing pointless missions and trying to get him down. Handsome Jack found amusement in it. Surely, everyone would move on, but then Roland and his dumb ass troops and his dumb ass city couldnt leave it alone. So what if he controlle a monster. It wasnt to kill everyone, probably. It was to find vaults, and more vaults. To make a better pandora. Fucking judge him, no one was good here.   If they could control the monster they would. For fun, jack put lilth in a electrotic vase type prision, she touch the wall it would hurt like hell. Fuck all. Fuck her. She was the whole reason he had to wear a mask anyway. He did mourn his little girl. Even if she did hate him. He held her in his chair and just looked over her dead bodie for hours. Telling her he was sorry and he would defend her like the hero he is.

Moxxi: Moxxi figured there was something incredibly naive about her expecting everything to just turn out okay.  She'd always played both sides of the field, and there had always been collateral damage, but it had never been anyone Moxxi was close too.  She was close to the superstars, the big time hitters, and they never died.  Not really.  And Moxxi always imagined a world were she could do that for the rest of her life.  Play both sides and win.  But now she was standing outside, ignoring the drops of rain piddling down onto her umbrella while they buried Roland into Sanctuary's dirt.  That coupled with Jack's screams of vengance, and the last sad sweet ECHO she'd gotten from Angel (I want this, I want to be free, stop him) made it very clear to her that there was no picking a middle ground anymore.  One side or the other was going to be obliterated, and there was nothing Moxxi could do to stop it.  Things had gone to far, and it wasn't fun anymore.  This wasn't random bandits or psychos, or people that wouldn't be missed.  Not anymore.  Moxxi carefully dabbed a few tears away before it started to fuck up her makeup.

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack had to bury her alone. After two days of her dead body just laying across a chair. He decided it was time. He put her in a casket and buried her the wall of one helios. He couldnt put her in the ground. She was better than that. He put her name on the stone wall piece. She may have hated him, but he didnt hate her. He loved her, that's why his password was I love you.   He felt so angry after he ran his hand over her name. He went on his echo and yelled at any bandit who wanted to kill the child killer to leave that for himHe wanted that for himself. He looked at his echo for moxxi, she probably hated him too. He knew in the end, she'd pick their side. He picked up his echo and called the sheriif who said she would be right over

Moxxi: Moxxi never anticipated her bar turning into the place for a wake, but that seemed to be what happened afterward.  The newbies were running around still carrying on the good fight or however they wanted to characterize it, but everyone else was here, sidled up to her bar and Moxxi just poored the drinks and refused the cash, for once, and looked at the dark sea of people in their finiest black.  As fine as it could be, anyway.  Scooter looked uncomfortable, and Moxxi reached over to touch his hand lightly.  "Scooter, you can go back to the garage, honey," she murmured, and he seemed relieved to get away from it and back to a place he understood.  Moxxi wanted to ask everyone what actually happened, but then she wasn't sure she wanted to know.  Many people could take her as someone who didn't love anyone, but the truth was she loved everyone, in her way.  She could very easily imagine what Jack was feeling right now, because she'd know how she'd feel if someone even touched her children, but then she'd replay Angel's voice in her head and feel caught in the middle again.  She wanted to call him, but she didn't know what she could say.  Or if he'd even want to hear from her.  Eventualy, much later, she sent him a small message with just a few words.  "I'm sorry, Jack."

Handsome Jack: Handome Jack sat in his bed, the sheriff naked beside him asleep. Even sex didnt cure anything. He just wish shed leave now and he could go back to making the bandits lives misrable. He was shocked to see Moxxi message and sat up. He slipped out of bed and went to the next room "For which part? My little girl being murdered or that no ones killed me yet for killing a grown man who was weak ?"

Moxxi: Moxxi felt her lips purse into a careful frown when she did get a reply from Jack and Moxxi made sure her door was locked up tight before sitting down to really reply.  "I think you're an evil bastard Jack, but I don't want you to die," she said carefully.  "I am sorry your little girl died, but I spoke to her-" Moxxi said and then stopped, swallowing hard.  "You can go blaming everyone else, but part if the blame is on you, and you know that."  Moxxi didn't want this to turn into what it was turning into and sighed.  "I'm sorry about Angel.  That's what I'm sorry about."

Handsome Jack: "HA!" He said when she started to scroll him. "Thanks mother." He rolled his eyes and sat back. "She was like Ellie. She thoughtYOU guys were her best friends forever. She was like thi as a kid, always mad at me for killing her mother or for not letting her play with other kids. You have NO idea what she did to other kids. " He told Moxxi. "So maybe rewind that judgement, I dont see Ellie wanting to be anywhere near you " He bit back. "I had to bury her by myself.. whiel none of you cared."

Moxxi: "Ellie might hate me but I didn't keep her locked up in a cage and make her a junkie on that eridum like you did," Moxxi replied her voice breaking just a little bit.  "Jack, you don't want any of us to care.   If any of us showed our face and tried to help you, you'd just kill us."  Moxxi wiped her eyes again.  "Well, that's all I wanted to say. I do care about you Jack.  And her.  More than you know."

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack wasnt sure what her definitiion of caring was. She didnt care. No one did. No one ever did. It was lonely road being the hero. "Dont. Just dont." He said. He heard someone run into moxxi room and yell. "WE GOT A HANDSOME JACK PINATA! we all think you should hit it first, because you are hot and because mordecai said you two did it, and then he got drunk and now is passed out." He said. Handsome jack rolled his eyes. "A pinata?" He said. The man paused at the door. "Whoa moxi, you sounded just like him!"

Moxxi: Moxxi was damn sure she'd locked the door, she'd made doubly sure and she was so annoyed that someone had managed to burst in without her asking she lifted a pistol and shot him in the chest.  "Does no one resepct a woman's privacy!" she cried, and kicked his bleeding body out of the door, slamming it and locking it again.  "Fine.  Goodbye Jack," Moxxi said and cut off the communication.

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack heard a shot and lifted a brow. He sighed and rubbed his head. "Bye Moxxi. " He sighed. He tossed his echo at his feet. He felt the sheriff arms wrap around his neck and he held her hands. "You ... want to do this? Married thing?" he asked. She laughed out loud. "Seriously?" He sighed "Yeah.. maybe not... " He stood up. He went to the window and looked out it. "I should go." She said. "Call me later?"

Moxxi: Moxxi wanted someone to ask her if she was okay, but doing that she'd have to admit to some things that she didn't want to admit to.  And admit how deeply fucked up everything was.  Moxxi was used to that, but not when it pertained to her.  Not like this.  She felt like she was trapped.  She was indebted to these people, not just because they made a safe place for her and always looked the other way when she played for the other team when it behooved her, but they protected Scooter and gave him a place and a status that he'd never have anywhere else.  Not back where he'd grown up at least.  They could give it to Ellie too, if she'd just want it...  Moxxi sighed and closed her eyes, feeling a few more tears linger on her eyelashes. But she still loved Jack.  No matter what. That was the worst part.  He could do anything up to kill everyone she knew and make her watch and she'd still probably love him.  That scared he rmost of all.

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack didnt go down to angel's place. He kept lilth there, the bitch had got them vault hunters safely somewhere. So they were probably plotting his death He saw Rolands death as an eye for an eye. Handsome jack warned them so many fucking times to leave things alone. He did that. They didnt warn him about anything, and angel. She believed in them. She was brained washed into thinking THEY were the good guys. He sat in his office and played around with his echo watching for moxxi to call, but she didnt. He mumbled to himself and turned on her echo "Hey balloon tits... you ever want toget out of there an race cars around in circles until you black out. I got a place to go for that."

Moxxi: Moxxi slept a little bit, but not much.  The whole town seemed to have a dark cloud over it, though people were working hard to pretend like there wasn't.  It was depressing and Moxxi went down to the bar and served drinks and flirted and danced around, while not really feeling it deep down like she used to.  It seemed that false cheer was even coming from Jack too, when he decided to call in with his idea of a pet name. "Is that really what you want to do right now, sugar?  Race some damn cars?  Because I don't.  And I don't think that's what you really want either."

Handsome Jack: "What's wrong with racing cars? " He rolled his eyes. "Fine, to be honest. I want to tit fuck my pain away. I doubt that's what you want to do, with all those girl feeling you have going on right now." He said. "Tell you what, toots. You let me tit fuck you and I will take some of the pain off lilth, maybe, probably. fun fact. This is how she sounds to me. Please get these restrains off me so I can kick you ass you son of a bitch." He mocked. "Some people you know? "

Moxxi: Moxxi scoffed and felt her fists clench up just a little bit.  "When have I ever had girl feelings, Jack? I think you're projecting."  She sighed.  "You can fuck my tits all you want, but you better get me off too, because I'm not doing it out of charity." She felt herself stiffen when he started mentioning Lilth, and swallowed.  "I know stunning how people reject being caged up like an animal.  Where do you want to meet."

Handsome Jack: "Common, that's fun. I'd like to cage you." He teased. He was trying to feel normal, wahtever that meant. "Opportunity. You can see the new statues I'm bulding of me putting a giant size dildo up zeros ass. It's the best statue ever. " He said. "And the one where axton is naked, but has a grape dick. oh man.' He laughed. "you'll get off. I never ignore your needs, pumpkin."

Moxxi: "You could try, sugar," Moxxi replied, giving into the urge to pretend like nothing had changed, if that was what Jack wanted.  "Do you even know if Zero has an ass?" she said politely and then laughed lightly.   "I'm starting to think he really is a robot, I can't get him to have sex with me, and no living human could resist."  Moxxi hummed.  "You're really going to make them all stars, aren't you? I can't wait to see what you have planned for the others."  Moxxi sighed.  "I can get away in a couple of hours, Jack.  It's harder now.  People are asking more questions."

Handsome Jack: "So what, let them ask. Why are you so ashamed of me? You've always been that way, havent you?" He huffed. "Whatever babe, tits,fucking.. less whatever this is." He said. "Come to the north gate, wear a blonde man or woman skin, I dunno. Tell me when you are at the door. I will have to scan you throughly.. so no fucking funny business. "

Moxxi: "You call it being ashamed, I call it survival, sweetie.  If I didn't tell everyone we'd broken up, I wouldn't have a place here right now."   Moxxi pursed her lips.  "You act like it's not a bigger risk for me than it is for you.  I'm not out to kill you Jack, and you just promised to kill everyone I know. Inculding me, if you think about it."

Handsome Jack: "It's called survival. And whoa whoa, wait. You wanted to fuck  Zero? What the hell moxxi?" He recalled. "In the end, when the gun is pointed to my face. You will be the one to call them to pull the trigger. I'm a very intelligent man, Moxxi... "

Moxxi: Moxxi rolled her eyes. "I want to fuck everyone, Jack, isn't that what you're always saying?" Moxxi replied.  "And aren't you even a little curious? He's got that deep voice but hips like a woman."  Moxxi huffed.  "And you won't be the same for me?"

Handsome Jack: "I dont think I can titty fuck you knowing you wnt to fuck, waht's probably slim and a voice box, or a robot. I have some robots you can ride if you want though.. by all means, make a loaderbots life." He teased. "And arent I the guy you tell everyone you let go, was too clingy... ?" He said. "Would I tell people to kill you? Why on earth would I do that? I rather keep you here in a box forever and fuck you when I need to. It's not right fucking a corspe... Although, knowing your team... they probably all do."

Moxxi: "Please, Jack," Moxxi said, letting her voice turn into a purr.  "You know that tits better than mine don't exist.  You can't resist them, no matter how much you try."  Moxxi laughed, in a sultry way.  "Oh Jack, honey, you need to relax. Every man is clingy, with your jealousies and wanting to be the only man, like one dick can satisfy a girls every need.  If you really put me in a cage, you wouldn't be as excited by me and you know it. Just sit tight and I'll be there soon."

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack rolled his eyes and took a shot. "Except my cock is actually everything you want and need, or you wouldnt come back. See you soon, princess. " He said as he went down to the gate and leaned agaist the wall outside his protective walls. Bring on a vault hunter, he was ready to take them out. He saw Moxxi come up (idk if shes in a skin) "Hey.. Put your hands over your head, and let me do a body ... search." He ran his hands down her waist and up herto her breast

Moxxi: That was true enough, but Moxxi didn't like revealing everything.  She couldn't do that.  It would be like letting Jack win over her completely and Moxxi didn't like being the one that lost.  She busied herself getting things in order so she could leave and slipped out while no one was paying too much attention.  She came alone and under cover as she usually did, but didn't bother dressing like anything but herself, though she did wear a cloak that covered her face until she got close enough.  "Jack, do you really think I'm stupid enough to try something on your own terf?" Moxxi said with a pout, lifting her hands above her head and crossing her wrists, tilting her hips to give Jack a good visual while he ran his hands over her.

Handsome Jack: Handsome Jack slid his hands under her breast. He pressed his chin between her breast. He licked her neck, and lifted her boobs and dropped them to see them bounce. He really needed this right now. He slid his hand between her legs and cupped her sex. He removed her panties to the side with her middle finger, he slid his finger inside her and pressed against her clit. "Ok, you seem.. fine." He removed his hands fro her and turned. "Welcome to opportunity."

[heleftnowwhat]

I haven’t written in a while. I have had some repeat doggy clients so I wanted to wait for a new one to write about.

OMG, I just had a my tiniest guest today. Diego is a 10 week old, 3lb Beagle/Chihuahua mix. This was his first visit and he did very well. I assumed that he would play for an hour and sleep for an hour and I was correct. I took him out every 60-90 mins to go potty, which he did. All and all, a great first visit. I believe that he will be coming back, YAY!!

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 Like I said, I have had some repeat clients….here they are…

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Also, A friend and I went back to PA for a weekend in Sept. We joined my sister’s team, to walk and to raise money and awareness of Melanoma. It was fun and very successful. I am excited to say that my sister has had her 12th and final treatment and all looks good now. She is so strong. This is her story…..

My Melanoma Madness Family history: none Number of full skin checks I had through my life: zero Melanoma type: Acral Lentiginous (subungual) the most common in Asian, Hispanic and African American races. Of which I am not. This type of melanoma makes up less than 5% of all melanomas. Melanoma is the deadliest form of skin cancer. Timeline: Years and years ago I got a mole on the cuticle line of my left big toe. It was fine. Appeared normal. I thought it odd to get a mole on my toe, but I was not concerned. Fast forward to sometime in late 2017-ish I notice I have what I think is a blood blister. It’s near or on or around the “mole”. So I google blood blister on toe. Because who googles toe cancer??? I go several months until having it looked at.

May 2018: I’m in my 3 month diabetes check appointment with my Doc and at the end of appointment, I ask him to look at my toe. He glances at it and tells me it’s ugly and I should cover it for a week and if it doesn’t improve I should go see a podiatrist. Ok!!! Sounds easy. So I do what he tells me and it seems to start to dry up so I don’t go to the podiatrist.

September 17th 2018: Ok, I give!!! Made an appointment with the podiatrist because it seemed to get worse again. I go in, sit down and show him my “blood blister”. Instantly he tells me it is a wart. Oh! I ask if warts oozed and bled. He shook his head and told me no and that he wanted to biopsy it to see what kind of wart it was so he knew what type of antibiotic he may need to prescribe. OUCH. That kind of hurt. But ok! The results will be in in 7-10 days. Thanks doc. So, because I’m impatient, I go buy a wart freezing kit and try to freeze the little bitch off. HOLY CRAP. OUCH IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. And it obviously wasn’t even worth the pain. Tic tock…. tic tock September 28th (10 business days later): I call the office to ask about results. I am told there are none. Sometimes these things could take up to a month they say. Of course, I argued that and said that the doctor told me 7 to 10 business days. They shrug and say they hope it’ll be in next week. HOPE?????? Mind you, I struggle with anxiety and unknown things are huge a trigger for me. Ok. Sigh.

October 5th 2018: Ring ring. Hi, this is Stephanie Heart. Calling to see if results are in. Nope. What the hell????? Ok. This is science. Deep breaths. October 17th 2018: Cell phone rings. I’m in middle of something and can’t answer my phone. Voice mail says: “ hello this message is for Dr. B…, this is so-and-so from the pathology lab in Maryland and I need to speak with you directly about one of your patient’s biopsies” UMMMMM….. what the hell? Now I’m freaked out. So of course I call back and leave a message. No response. Text— no response. Call doctors office and leave urgent message with answering service. Call doctors office again first thing in morning and start pushing. Hard. Turns out the initial abnormal results were in a couple weeks ago and lab was doing further testing. WHICH NOONE INFORMED ME OF. The lab certainly broke some rules by accidentally calling me directly. They say they will have doctor call me. 15 min later he does. Tells me same story. Says he is trying to get in touch with pathology lab and will get the results for me and I can pick them up in office tomorrow. Ok. Fine. Instantly google cancer on toe, because why else would a lab be trying to reach the doc?

October 18th (my cancerversary, I guess) I arrive at the office and go to desk and say I’m here to see the doctor about my results. They tell me he gave us this for you and hand me a sealed envelope. Um. Alright. I leave office and am in lobby. Remember, I’m impatient. So I open envelope while alone in the lobby. And all I see is MALIGNANT MELANOMA and I am alone. Frozen. Oh. Also a note with a referral to a dermatologist. That bastard let me read that alone. Ok. Now it’s a search and destroy mission. I immediately call this dermatologist and fax over results while I am on the phone. While scheduling the appointment with the receptionist, she asked me to hold on and out of nowhere this doctor gets on the phone. He tells me that he would gladly see me, however, he would be telling me immediately to get to a surgeon at Fox Chase Cancer Center and gave me the name. He told me that this was a deep tumor and it would have to be removed. Holy shit. This is serious. Like WAY serious. My fingers instantly started dialing the number to the doctor he referred me to. They were amazing on the phone while I cried and they got me set up for an appointment with the chief of surgery in less than a week. Begin massive anxiety attacks. Google. Bing. Explorer. Knowledge is power.

October 25th, 2018 Appointment with surgeon. The guy who saved my life. Tells me that the depth on the report puts me at a stage 2. Which means they remove it and then do a sentinel lymph node biopsy to check the nearest lymph node to see if it spread. But only 20% chance it would have. And then he tells me that to remove it, they have to amputate the top half of my big toe. Wait. WHAT??? Alligator tears begin flowing. Sends me on my way to schedule surgery.

November 2, 2018 Surgery day. Maybe after today I won’t have cancer anymore. Ativan on board I head to the hospital with my army. Long day of waiting and tests. Blood work. They do the injection for sentinel lymph node biopsy. Waiting and scans. Then it’s time to head back. I don’t remember any of it. Wake up. Foot is wrapped and I have a nerve block. They said they were sure they got clean margins. So as long as lymph node comes back clean, I would be cancer free! Remember only 20% chance of the lymph node being malignant. They send me home same day with healing instructions and tell me results will be in in 7-10 days. I’ve heard this before. Anxiety is in high overdrive. My family and friends took amazing care of me. But in the midst of this I told the boyfriend to take a hike. Zero empathy and he couldnt understand my fuss. It was only a toe. Not even a whole toe. It wasn’t like it was a boob or a lung. I’m sorry…. you’re out of my circle now. Piss off.

1 week later: Still no results. Tic tock. All I can think of is just getting back to work and I did. I work from home so was able to do some work and elevate.

About 12 days post op: Guess who is in the 20%???? Of course I am. Worst news I could have gotten. I now have stage 3 melanoma. Stage 3. Are you kidding me? You have to be. Now what? Time to have a PET scan of my entire body to see if it has spread anywhere. This would place me at stage 4. Thank goodness, it had not spread. I remain stage 3, but now I have to face a year of immunotherapy treatment with CT scans, skin checks, MRIs, ultrasounds and a slew of other tests every 3 months or so.

November 28 First meeting with medical oncologist. He details the plan of action to do everything we can to make sure the beast stays away. Melanoma is really sneaky and can just show up anytime anywhere. Sigh. A lifetime of anxiety. There is no cure. We set up the treatment plan.

December 5,2018 Treatment day. Lab work first to see if my body can handle it. Meet with oncologist again. Then head to the infusion room. Walk in and there are a ton of cancer patients in their chairs hooked up to IVs. Not gonna lie. It was scary and I couldn’t believe I was there. They begin the infusion after mixing the medicine. They have to wait for doc approval for this as they bill my insurance company $115,000 a month for this drug. Yes, the comma is in the right place. Infusion begins. And ends just as fast. Only about 30 min. And they send me home. Almost instantly, my entire body is hot and so itchy. A normal side effect. Any type of “itis” is. I’ll take that over chemo though. The itch continued for 2 months. My first 2 treatments.

Wash rinse repeat. I just completed my 6th of 12 treatments. I’ve had some scans and skin checks in between. So far…. I am FREE of cancer. We call this NED. No evidence of disease. And we celebrate this.

A few things I have learned: Not all melanoma comes from the sun, but most does. Mine didn’t. I am now susceptible to any and all skin cancers as well as having an increased risk of developing other types. I must be diligent with protecting myself from the sun. When in doubt, get it checked. Schedule yearly dermatology appointments. ADVOCATE for yourself for fast treatment and diagnosis. You are never too busy to take care of your health. In times of crisis you really learn who your true circle of people are. Mine is huge and I am truly blessed.

I am so thankful for the care I have received and continue to receive from everyone at Fox Chase Cancer Center. They literally have saved my life.

I still struggle with anxiety and depression and some pain and swelling. But I’m managing it by staying informed and positive and laughing at things. That’s how I deal. Gotta laugh. My side effects haven’t been horrible from treatment. I hope that my story can help at least one person to get help if needed. Early detection is KEY to surviving melanoma.

I am a melanoma warrior. A survivor. And I plan on keeping it that way.

GET CHECKED PEOPLE!!!

Doggy Guest #30 Diego and more I haven't written in a while. I have had some repeat doggy clients so I wanted to wait for a new one to write about.