#everyone saying dont worry youll be able to go. no i won't. i will be amazed if i feel like going
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Powers out, tornado and severe storm warnings... yeah I give up. Not going to be able to go to the first event I've planned on going to since before covid.
#i guess dont invite me to your wedding#and ive already taken my meds to make me sleepy. cant sleep without white noise#second night this week my sleep in effected. before it was wednesday morning#everyone saying dont worry youll be able to go. no i won't. i will be amazed if i feel like going#just so depressing
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Pretty Setter Squad Boyfriend Headcanons
part one can be found here II wc: 2.4k II includes: kageyama, suga, kenma, akaashi, semi and oikawa II atsumu and shirabu
rewriting because i cringe at the old hcs 😭
✗ Kagggggsss
✗ The emotionally constipated blueberry <3 oh yeahh 😎
✗ Okay well first off he can barely process his emotions (*cough* evidently *cough*)
✗ When you two first started going out he was quite shy and unsure of what to do so you may have had to guide him a bit, but if youre equally shy then it just would have taken longer to get to where you are now; oh and if that was the case it probably took some random burst of energy/confidence from either one of you to make the first move.
✗ He will buy you milk but uf you hate it (like me 🤢) he will buy you another drink - like juice :D
✗ I dont think he will be the most affectionate, it’s not his love language - and neither are words haHAH. His love language is most likely quality time and gift giving.
✗ He does like to cuddle though 😳
✗ In fact he really likes to :D his favourite is when youre sitting in his lap while he watches a volleyball game (at home - he hates pda).
✗ This brings us to our next, short point. Kageyama absolutely despises pda, he just thinks its something meant for closed doors and he does not believe that he has to display his relationship for the whole world to ogle at. The most he will do is light hand holding - mostly just linking your pinkies though.
✗ When it comes to height he does not care if you're smaller or taller than him ← but bb, please don't tease him about his height if he’s shorter because he will blow a fuse.
✗ He alternates between small spoon and big spoon, kinda depending on his mood.
✗ BOY O BOY does he get jealous. Uh please reign in your setter >:(
✗ Its mostly due to the fact that he’s insecure about himself - he thinks you will leave him like everyone else (in middle school - yes, he is still traumatised from it.)
✗ When he does get jealous he might be snappy to the other person and glare at them or be snappy at you and glare at you. When this happens please give him space because he needs it to clear his head. When he feels better he will come up to you and hug you into his chest so that he can’t see your face and you cant see his, then he will mumble an apology.
✗ Ever since you two began to date he has practiced apologising and getting better at apologising, this is because his inability to admit to his own mistakes was a sour patch in your relationship that almost ended it but he really did not want to lose you so he sucked up his pride and worked on what he had to; of course you also worked in what you had to. God I love character development 😩
✗ Dates are mostly at home dates or dates revolving around volleyball. If you're not into volleyball, Kageyama would not date you, it's something he is so passionate about and loves with every breath he takes (like you) and he refuses to compromise one love for the other.
✗ ooooh he likes arcade dates a well! He thrives in a competitive environment. If you're not competitive and don't want to compete against him then he’ll compete for you - against the machines lol. Of course you play as well! But i doubt youre as competitive as this blueberry, and if you are - well i guess at the end of the day youll both be stacked in tokens 🤠
✗ Sugawara my beloved <33
✗ He. Is. So. Affectionate!
✗ Mans loves skin on skin contact ykwim?
✗ He is down for pda and does not care what others think - only what you think <3.
✗ I mean he might make out with you in public if you ask nicely
✗ Dates are very fun with him, he’ll take you to cafes, to amusement parks, to carnivals, to movies and all the like. He’s a cliche lover and he’s proud of it.
✗ Your first kiss happened on New Years Eve/Day. The two of you sat on the roof of his house and watched as the fireworks lit up the starry sky of Miyagi and chanted the count down together. The second ‘one’ left your lips he grabbed your face (softly!!) and pulled you in to crash his lips against yours.
✗ Suga loves to cuddle, preferably face to face because he just thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world.
✗ He is not the most jealous person, he definitely does get jealous but never of strangers. It's more when his close friends or your close friends get a bit too comfortable if that makes sense? He normally plays it off with humour and messes around because he acknowledges that he is insecure and that it is most likely him thinking of the worst case scenario; however if he really does start to worry and get jealous then he will sit you down and talk about it with you. To him, communication is key.
✗ Ngl Kenma is definitely in my top 3 favourites.
✗ I may or may not be a Kenma kinnie 😳🙈
✗ i love my non-toxic gamer boy <33 anywho: no matter what ANYONE says, kenma is definitely affectionate. In fact I'd say he’s one of the most affectionate boyfriends. As we all know, he is shy and introverted but he likes to hang around and spend time with people he likes. He also talks a lot to them. So I hc that he’s a bit of a chatterbox with you and it makes him really happy when you let him talk about a game or a theory he has. He’s a great listener so you can count on him to pay attention to what you say.
✗ if you didn't already have one, he bought you a switch. He loves video game dates especially when he can't see you in person (*cough* lockdown *cough*)
✗ he loves when you sit on his lap when he plays video games. I know everyone talks about sitting on their partner’s lap as some sexual thing and yeah that can happen but most of the time he’s really soft with you and just enjoys being close to you. Loves when you cuddle into him while he plays so that he can place his head on yours or your shoulder.
✗ i think he is a bit shy when it comes to kisses but definitely warms up after a while. He absolutely refuses to sleep if he doesnt get your goodnight kisses. He loves to kiss you on your nose and your cheeks the most. He loves when you kiss him on the forehead and the nose <3
✗ kenma is not one for pda, it's just not his vibe. He prefers intimacy and privacy; his relationship is not a movie for the world to watch and gawk at. Especially timeskip!kenma. Though that does not mean he wont ever show you skinship in public, occasionally he will softly hold your hand and maybe press a light kiss to your cheek.
✗ in terms of jealousy, he is moderate. Kenma, as we all know, has incredible people reading skills, so he understands the situation pretty clearly and knows when you’re uncomfortable/what you think of the situation. Most of the time you can deal with the unwanted attention and he doesnt get jealous, but he does get insecure. He shows this by going quiet and looking away when you look at him, you can cure this by giving him hugs when you get home.
✗ Akaashi my beloved <3 he’s so pretty i can't even-
✗ ugh! Just imagine him in a dark/light academia aesthetic.
✗ perfection.
✗ akaashi is the sweetest most attentive boyfriend, he loves you to pieces and never fails to let you know. He tells you he loves you every morning and every night. He probably makes meals for you and leaves notes in that have a sweet comment like “i love you, you're the best <3”
✗ he love back hugging you BUT also receiving back hugs 🥺✨
✗ akaashi is a booknerd and an introvert. Please cuddle up to him and let him read his book to you.
✗ there are only 2 things that can restore his social battery: sleeping and you.
✗ which means he wants cuddles when he’s tired 😊
✗ he is not jealous. He just doesn't get jealous, maybe annoyed if the third party is being a bit too pushy and you're clearly uncomfortable, but he just never feels jealous. No matter how hard you may try to make him jealous (plz dont cause that's kinda toxic imo) he just won't feel that way.
✗ definitely the ‘mom/dad’ as he carries sinister, pads, bandaids → a whole first aid kit basically, everywhere. Bb must be prepared.
✗ dates are so sweet with him, cute niche cafes and dimly lit libraries. Maybe the occasional abandoned building. He loves spending time with you, so really he's happiest whenever he’s with you; having coffee at McDonalds or a niche cafe won't change anything.
✗ he’s hard to pinpoint for pda. I feel like he’s indifferent about it. He probably prefers to keep it indoors or to just small and sweet gestures (no making out in public sorry-). It definitely comes down to your preferences, if you don't like it then he won't and vice versa.
✗ semi semi semi semi semi semi
✗ omg mr musician
✗ he definitely plays guitar - lead guitar and bass guitar.
✗ skilled fingies for sure 😗
✗ boy why are musicians so hot???? 😫😫😫💦💦
✗ he writes songs about you. Semsem has a bit of trouble saying exactly how he feels, so he writes it and sings it to you with a small little smile and eyes full of love.
✗ off topic but Semu has the best music taste in haikyuu
✗ he loves hugs so much <33 please hug and cuddle with him 24/7
✗ very affectionate, he’s always touching you someway. Loves kissing your forehead.
✗ he is jealous. Yeah definitely. He writes songs about being jealous 🗿 not that you mind of course ‘cause they're bangers. I think he might get snappy when he’s jealous, not directly at you but at the other person. He definitely gets a bit bitchy. Sometimes he acts that way to you so you've just gotta slap some sense into him. Say something like “what's your problem?” or “tell me what your problem is so i can help fix it.” ← that's probably the best thing to say.
✗ afterwards he’ll just snuggle with you until he feels better.
✗ he asks for your opinion about his songs all the time, please be honest (but also praise them if you like them lol)
✗ he takes you to niche spots he finds, like hidden concerts and stuff. Loves when you come to his gigs <3 oh and when you scream for him (in more ways than one).
✗ dates are cute and fun. Mostly walking around together → carnivals, main street, farmers market. Those kind of things.
✗ when it comes to pda he loves it. Loves being able to show the world who his s/o is. If you don't like it then he will tone it down and only do what you’re comfortable with. If you're also into pda then he will happily make out with you anywhere (you're one of THOSE couples 🤢 /j)
✗ all round best boyfie <3
✗ oikawa 😳 have i told y'all how much i love him? Oikawa is the best written character, no cap, he is so complex and real it's crazy. It's so fun to write about him because you can pick him apart, you know his flaws, his weaknesses, his nightmares but also his strengths and dreams. Anywho i'll stop ranting now but i just love writing for such a perfectly imperfect character-
✗ he puts up a cocky exterior but thats all false. He's as scared as you are, he's scared that you'll leave him like his exes because of how obsessed and focused he is on volleyball. However he is a changed man, he's learned to balance his priorities. If you ever feel like you're being sidelined please communicate with him.
✗ he values communication above all else and wants nothing more in a partner than for them to also value communication.
✗ back to the point → if you feel insecure of your relationship and that volleyball is taking too much of his attention let him know. He will change that. To an extent → he may have an important game coming up which is why he is focusing more, but he will always find time for you.
✗ he never forgets to text you good morning and good night. He also sends you wholesome memes and makes sure you're taking care of yourself - they're like reminders for him to also take care of himself.
✗ he is both jealous and insecure. Everyone who gets too close to you or spends a lot of time with you, he is jealous of. Jealous because he wishes he could spend more time with you but he knows he can't - not without jeopardising his volleyball career. He's also insecure, because he knows you could just leave him for a more fulfilling, more attentive, more balanced relationship. You know that too, I mean, of course you could leave him but no one would be as good as him. No one could match up to your beautifully flawed boyfriend.
✗ he is affectionate, very, very affectionate. He loves you so much. And because he spends so much time on volleyball, anytime with you he's touching you - memorizing every dint, every curve, everything about you so that he won't ever forget.
✗ Oikawa has trouble sleeping unless he's with you, he wants to sling to you in his sleep and be grounded and remember that he is loved and cherished and appreciated y'know?
✗ pda is not an issue for him. He doesn't care what anyone else says or thinks :P in this relationship the only opinions that matter are his and your’s. Tell him you're uncomfortable with something and he won't do it, and vice versa. But otherwise, like Semi, he won't mind having a good makeout session with you in the middle of the street ;)
#haikyuu x reader#oikawa x reader#haikyuu fluff#Oikawa Tōru x reader#Oikawa headcanons#pretty setter squad x reader#pretty setter squad headcanons#Suga x reader#sugawara x reader#sugawara headcanons#kageyama headcanons#kageyama x reader#semi x reader#semi headcanons#semi Eita x reader#Akaashi x reader#Akaashi headcanons#kenma x reader#kenma headcanons#Haikyuu headcanons
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hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)
Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS
ao3
Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."
Monday, 7:17 AM
gays united
hbicheryl: good morning gays
wannabett: CHERYL
hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty
hbicheryl: happy?
wannabett: yes
hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour
hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep
nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit
hisshissmotherfucker: whatever
veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?
hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?
wannabett: no
hbicheryl: fine
hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute
hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES
wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??
spillthefogarTEA: oh betty
spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty
nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class
nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want
wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea
spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper
spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean
8:16 AM
hbicheryl + nopeaz
hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought
nopeaz: he looks so timid
hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun
hbicheryl: lets begin phase one
8:19 AM
gays united
wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?
jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni
wannabett: meaning??
jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that
goingtoheller: ^^tru
wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see
8:23 AM
gays united
wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones
wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc
wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM
hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED
spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED
goingtoheller: LMAO
spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE
wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS
veroffica: I'M WHEEZING
hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY
spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"
spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"
spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"
spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"
spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"
wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair
wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole
goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.
veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD
hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY
goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.
hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??
wannabett: he didnt say
goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?
hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING
veroffica: i should hope so!
jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life
wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought
spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys
spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications
spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess
wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering
wannabett: haha thats karma i guess
wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??
veroffica: ...guys?
goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.
hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs
hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty
jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now
veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.
hisshissmotherfucker: ^^
jugheadalones: ^^
goingtoheller: ^^
12:03 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK
hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM
nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle
spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon
goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.
veroffica: you two will never live that down.
jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts
hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?
hbicheryl: no
nopeaz: fuck off
goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.
wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??
jugheadalones: and what would that be?
wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!
veroffica: can the substitute even do that?
spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"
nopeaz: at least its only for today
wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??
hbicheryl: lmao cant relate
wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this
12:39 PM
gays united
hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?
hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom
veroffica: ...that was a letdown.
goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.
nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay
jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense
spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho
1:22 PM
gays united
wannabett: SHIT
veroffica: what's wrong, betts?
wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(
goingtoheller: what makes you think that?
wannabett: shes called me four times today already
wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me
jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that
wannabett: you underestimate her
veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.
1:40 PM
gays united
wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office
wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??
wannabett: who wants to bet against me?
goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!
goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.
jugheadalones: i'll bite.
jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her
wannabett: youre on jug
wannabett: be prepared to lose $20
1:55 PM
gays united
wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg
wannabett: fork over the money jones
jugheadalones: ...fuck
jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??
hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool
wannabett: same thing
spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?
wannabett: the usual
wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.
veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(
wannabett: it isnt your fault v
veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.
wannabett: you really think so?
veroffica: i know so.
spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet
hbicheryl: and REALLY gay
spillthefogarTEA: ofc
veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.
wannabett: ^^^
spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends
wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other
hisshissmotherfucker: false
spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(
hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe
hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you
hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??
nopeaz: i see it all right
hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that
nopeaz: me too :)
hbicheryl: i love you toni
nopeaz: i love you too cher
veroffica: awww, that was adorable.
veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??
goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.
jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped
hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!
nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too
hisshissmotherfucker: whatever
spillthefogarTEA: ^^^
wannabett: ^^^
veroffica: ^^^
jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore
2:29 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention
wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor
spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him
hisshissmotherfucker: thats true
hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school
hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die
jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl
goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat
hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you
hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change
nopeaz: thats my girl!!
hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying
hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework
hbicheryl: thats even worse
2:34 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES
hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA
hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise
nopeaz: screw you
hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER
veroffica: sure thing, blossom.
3:00 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS
goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.
jugheadalones: ^^
veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.
wannabett: tru
hisshissmotherfucker: tru
nopeaz: tru
hbicheryl: tru
Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.
#cheryl blossom#toni topaz#choni#cheryl x toni#toni x cheryl#choni fanfiction#fanfiction#riverdale#riverdale fanfiction#betty cooper#veronica lodge#beronica#betty x veronica#veronica x betty#beronica fanfiction#kevin keller#fangs fogarty#sweet pea#fangs x sweet pea#sweet pea x fangs#swangs#swangs fanfiction#jughead jones#groupchat#groupchat fic
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Heyo,
I love you. I love you like the world crushing my shoulders. As if it were the oxygen catching on fire and burning in my lungs. Like soft peaceful crickets that play a role to provide a necessary part in a dark starry night. Like how fall causes the leaves to change and slowly fall to the ground. With soft words and heavy breaths that stay tethered to the sheets of our secrets. And I know you can't do the same. That you won't do the same. You can't. You wouldn't be able to live. To breathe without regret. And I understand that.
However, understand this, I'm sorry but not sorry for loving you. But for not giving you the chance to love me if you had ever changed your mind. I'm done regretting every breath. I'm done trying be okay for everyone else when all I want to do is cry. To break down so bad people don't have the chance to worry. I don't want to have to regret doing daily human functions like eating, and drinking.
I made you realize things that you didn't need to. I made you scared to sleep if someone texted randomly. I made you scared to learn how to drive again. I made you realize that life isn't what it should be for a lot of people. That trauma is real and effects people for life even if they have healed and/or are trying to.
This sounds selfish but I feel you leaving. I feel the tearing of you so caught up with everything else so strongly in my heart. I feel as if I can't breathe without you there but you're not. So I'm drowning in my brain. Not slowly either.
I haven't eaten in three days. Maybe because youll notice or maybe because i don't deserve to. Maybe you'll worry and find your way back to me. I know that this way is a terrible way to do it but it's all my brain can think of. I got weighed. I gained weight. I have to lose it plus more. I don't deserve to take up space. I dont deserve to enjoy life. I understand where I stand in this universe. I don't know if you could handle it though. Because you'd most likely would run. Because with angel there, you have your comfy person. And I'll let you have that at the expense of mine because you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who makes you truly comfortable. I don't.
I wanted to go to you. But i didn't because if I did it'd feel like I'm blaming you, which so far off the path of truth. I had made angel promise he wouldn't take my comfy person before megacon. And he did exactly that. Poked and prodded at my weak spot until now. I don't know if it'll get worse because I don't know if I'm still breaking or if I've already shattered like glass
I don't understand my own brain right now and I don't think I ever have. But when I hear your voice or see a text from you it's like I'm not dying. Like I can breathe and feel my lungs fill with air and safety rather than fire and hurt. You made me feel that love was real and not just constant pain. Like the soft moments starring at clouds when things seem overwhelming. Or soft music that's played by nature at the beach on a warm summer day. You are my peace but I've lost that now.
I miss you. I truly do. So for now I say goodbye. I say I love you and that isn't your fault. It's mine for being attached and knowing this would happen. That I shouldn't have fallen. That I should have just erased feeling and the second I found out. That's my fault for falling I could have stopped myself from falling but I couldn't because I believed one day you'd love me the way I love you. I blame myself for the universe putting you in front of me and I couldn't control myself.
Goodnight,
Be safe please and I love you,
Anon
#letters for thought#letters#penpal#comfy person#broken love#jealousy#sad letter#not pro just tags#pro ana#pr0 3d
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