#evil babynapping

[simiansmoke]

What is DK's relationship with Dread Kong like?

Ask Muse about Relationships

// ohboy-

Well, Dread Kong is originally from the game Jungle Beat where DK goes around and uh...beats the shit out of leaders of different jungle territories and then they all (join, comrade) at the end.

So the idea is that these different fruit tribes are actually defectors from the original jungle kingdom that have had it with how things are run, or they're just greedy (who knows).

Which means they were all originally part of the jungle kingdom to start off with. Dread in particular was a high ranking general in the Kong army and typically was the first line of defense with training new recruits and getting their below-average stats to at least barely on par very quickly.

DK (I guess verse dependent but I'll pick one for the following) spends a lot of his childhood and pre-teens being literal Justin Bieber- (DK country cartoon and that singing' voice yo) and monkeying around with friends that Cranky starts growing concerned he won't be ready to take over whenever the time comes. So with a good dose of guilt and unspoken bribery for Dad's affection, DK ends up enlisting in the Kong army as a young adult to start learning the ways of battle - which is timed fairly well since the Kong nation is just beginning their war against the Kremlings at this time.

Naturally, he's assigned under Dread and goes through basic training. (All the hazing included - because a lot of the army is sour and bitter and doesn't like royalty, go figure.) Dread of course is operatating under the guise of becoming close to and grooming his army men to basically treat him as their leader so that when he decides to defect, he has a loyal crew that will lovingly forsake the jungle kingdom for him.

DK becomes the target of this scheme along with all the others, and is eventually convinced to have ah...relations with Dread (aka sleep with him here and there) for better treatment / protection in the royal hating army. Although, in the midst of doing so (this ofc takes place over the course of a few years btw), DK semi develops (or at least thinks he does) feelings for Dread, and the two seem to get along out of battle or training, and especially when no other royal sneering soldiers are around to question the growing playfulness around their exchanges.

This of course is shattered and discarded by DK when Dread enacts his plan and has his most primed to obey army members join him in his coup'de'tat, in which he fully expects DK to join him even though it means toppeling his father. (Though he figures DK will be on board because of how his father pushes him to do all the things he isn't on board with.)

The two eventually part bloody and vicious ways after a scuffle following DK not accepting the other's betrayal.

After the events of Jungle Beat, Dread is sent along with the other antagonists of the fruit kingdoms to be enslaved on the island where the coconut crystal is enshrined (in a temple that will only open with the touch of a royal family member) to serve as unwilling bouncers against treasure hunters. (They basically have not much food so anyone that comes along is food. Cue Dread developing cannibalistic tendencies.)

Having to face Dread again when he and Bowser arrive on the island leaves DK feeling...well, dread - ironically. His feelings about the past are a mix of disgust and what could have been 's, and he misses the bonds shared with one whom taught him a lot of what he knows of combat (and to a degree, physical love *cough the virginity ask plot couuuugh ....and subsequent ending*) but after seeing just how much Dread (as well as the others) have deteriorated and become rabid in their banishment, he's opt to keep those feelings fossilized in the past where they ought stay, if not be forgotten entirely.

(Relevant Dread v DK drabbles: xx, xx , xx)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

@extra-garlic replied to your post “I’m not an evil babysitter would an evil babysitter say follow me nugget”

They could very easily

I do not know if I am evil, though evil babynappers say I am

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

NEW AU FOR EAH

Thanks to Discord

Since Chase is supposedly the son of thr Red Queen, making him a prince but she's very cruel and made him a knight I proposed an au.

Where Mira HAD planned to take over Wonderland, but decided to take newborn Chase away.

Making him out to be her son.

She and Good King lie that a year before they god married they broke up, and she got pregnant with a wonderland person and had Chase. Good King didn't mind Chase and adopted him and after that they had Raven.

So now you have Chase Queen-King and Raven Queen-King.

Since Chase is older than Raven, Mira declares him the next Evil King (Queen) of the Snow White tale.

Raven gets the Good Queen role, in the story they share or make the castle half like everyone expected with Queen-King castle. They share a castle.

Ima draw this now.

[dangermousie]

You’d be safer in a shark tank...

The moment Wu Ji is off to wallop on the enemies of the empire, various sections decide it’s a good time to fuck with his pregnant lover and XY goes from being so pampered by WWJ he is literally carrying her around everywhere and freaking out when she wants to play ball to being thrown into jail and poisoned, with emo merchant (who is definitely useful) barely getting her released and saving her life. And we find out it’s WWJ’s empress aunt who did it (or more specifically, it’s XY’s enemy, the other imperial consort, who had her thrown in jail and empress decided to take advantage of it and poison XY not because she has anything against her, but because the situation was such that if XY died, it would look like the other consort did it and WWJ would come back from the war demanding her head and the emperor would have no choice but to give it to him, thus getting rid of empress’ rival AND making emperor pissed at WWJ and thus solidifying empress’ brother’s power and she’s closer to the brother and the emperor is using WWJ as counterbalance. Phew complicated.) Even after that, XY is ride or die, which I love. But seriously, how did WWJ turn out to be so sane and decent, the rest of his family are all homicidal sharks! (PS I was super amused at emperor freaking out when XY almost died because I am sure he cared less about his own consorts’ pregnancy but if his n1 genius general finds out his woman and unborn child died when he was away, goodbye empire hahahaha.) But seriously, she’s OK with his still sticking with the empress’ family even after the woman tried to off her!

Just as well she is using her brain because it’s time for BABY NAPPING!!!!! OMG the hell! Evil consort who just hates XY and doesn’t want her to be happy (though if she wasn’t into revenge, she could have had a hot general of her own as well and Gen Li still is pining for her even now.) Yeah, emperor is all “WWJ just wants to retire once stuff is won woeeeeeeee” and evil consort is all ‘why don’t we babynap his baby and raise it in the palace and then he won’t be able to retire’ ARE THEY ALL ON DRUGS HOW WOULD THAT MAKE HIM ANYTHING BUT PISSED?!? I mean, yeah, they are clearly thinking pissed or not, he’d have no choice with a baby hostage but they better pray the kid doesn’t die in those high infant mortality days because then he’d probably murder them all. Also, seriously, they are all brain dead. They have this ridiculously rare treasure - a genius at battle, literally forever undefeated general who has zero interest in politics or power, he just wants to beat on enemies all day and go home to his wife at night. The emperor should do a thanksgiving celebration over that and let him marry his girlfriend and ennoble his kids and tie him to the emperor that way. Maybe then he won’t retire. As it is, he’s less crazy than the emperor in Lan Ling Wang (who turned a loyal general who only wanted to beat on the enemies in the day and go home to his wife at night into a rebel dude itching for his throat) but not by much.

Only our amazing XY figured out that this is what they want and she’s insane enough to want to induce early birth so the baby will not be born in the palace (because I am sure she’s gonna do a baby swap otherwise what would even be the reason.) Honestly, I love that WWJ had to jump through so many freaking hoops of fire to win her but now that she has gotten over the waffling she is so epically ride or die.

And emo merchant is all OMG YOU CRAZY why don’t I just smuggle you out of the city and you have baby somewhere else and live peacefully but she’s come a long way from the girl who ran away as fast as she could and she is not leaving WWJ behind. God, she is amazing.

Anyway, she takes the herbs and arranges an accident and the baby is born and seemingly given to the imperial family but she starts hemorrhaging and is dying and she’s still concerned about Wu Ji and OMG lady, you are pure steel.

[ibex-ascendant]

Ever since reading the last chapter of the latest Darth Vader run, all I can think about is a crossover babynapping mishap. Either with Buffy's (Star Warsified) Mayor or Angel's (Star Warsified) Wolfram and Hart. (Both of whom have a penchant for sacrificing babies).

Two groups of evil minions. Both want the same baby. What could possibly go wrong?