#except its with the jojo twins and its (probably) not as cool of a setting

[cielospeaks]

one thing i just noticed is the b4-5-6 set is that kasumi hrid laegy snap in different ways/have a “corrupted” form of some kind

in b4 hrid becomes a rokkr because of his lingering guilt over the things that happened to his homeland as well as his wariness

in b5 laegy temporarily gets consumed by the flame of muspell bc of her self-conscious wishes for a more ideal self

in b6 kasumi fking snaps and nearly beats elm to death out of frustration and loneliness

[randowolfwriter]

Rocking that Solo (Intro)- Hot Dog Dilemma

Just a little one-shot from my self indulgent Older Warners au. Might consider doing more of these if it gets enough interest. 

Summary: 

A hot dog vendor meets the strangest girl (or puppy) he’s ever seen. Little does he know, she has a few tricks up her sleeve. 

She was a weird child. Probably one of the strangest the hot dog vendor had ever seen.

At first, he figured she had really poofy hair tied back with a sparkly heart-shaped hair tie, but then she approached him and saw that it wasn’t hair, but a pair of really large ears. Rabbit ears maybe? Then he noticed that she appeared to be covered in fur, ink-black with the exception of white that covered her entire face with a red nose that looked awfully a lot like a cat’s. When she smiled, he noticed tiny little fangs that made up her canines, and when she stepped back for a bit, he noticed that she wasn’t wearing any shoes—she didn’t need any. Giant white paws were what she walked on all day, much bigger than her front paws that looked more like hands. Then the key indicator of her strange appearance was that she had a tail, a long black one that was hard to determine whether it better belonged on a cat or a monkey. She could have been an animal that just escaped from the zoo had she not been wearing a giant purple sweater with a jean skirt and asking him tons of questions like any girl her age would ask. 

Yes, this indeed was the strangest little girl the vendor had ever seen, and yet, this wasn’t the first time she had visited him that day.

“You seem like a pretty cool guy,” She beamed through what appeared to be a Liverpool accent. “I’d love to have your job.”

“What are you doing back here?” The vendor barked. “Didn’t I tell you to get lost?”

“But I know where I am, so how can I get lost?” The girl inferred.

“I told you, I’m not bringing down the price of a dog.”

“But ten dollars is a little much, don’t you think? If I ran a hot dog cart, I would give everyone in the world a hot dog, and then I’d have the rest for myself.”

“Listen, little girl?” The vendor leaned over, trying to size himself up in order to intimidate her. “Are you gonna buy a dog or what? I haven’t got all day.”

Not once did she flinch from the vendor’s harsh demeanor, instead she kept smiling with a glimmer in those dark beady eyes of hers. “Well, I probably won’t since they’re so pricey. I just thought you should know that one of your cart’s wheels is missing.”

“What?”

The vendor tried to examine the wheel from where he leaned, but unfortunately, he couldn't. It was one of the front ones, which led him to move his lazy self to examine it. Clear as afternoon it was missing, despite it was there this morning when he wheeled the cart through the park. He only had a few customers that day, and none had bothered to mess with those wheels. In conclusion, it seemed that not only was this little girl strange, but she was also a wheel thief.

“Alright, where is it?” He grumbled.

“What?” The little girl asked coyly.

“The wheel? What did you do with it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” He could hear his voice raise at the girl’s bewildered expression. “I know you have it!” 

“I swear I don’t-- well, I mean I don’t swear because Daddoo says it’s not nice to swear-- but I know I don’t have it. Here, I’ll show you.”

She then reached into the pockets of her skirt and pulled out a bunch of trinkets and trash she had collected over time. “See, I have a bobby pin, two pennies, a piece of lint, a heart sticker…"

As the vendor was preoccupied with the girl, another child appeared behind the hot dog cart. Just like the little girl, he had long ears that drooped like a puppy’s, white fur on his face that covered his black fur like a mask, a red nose, and beady black eyes that made him look more animal than human. The only distinction that he was more human than animal was a green sweatshirt he wore (yet he didn’t wear any pants.) The boy stuck out his tongue nervously as he watched the little girl prattle on to the hot dog vendor about the items in her pockets; it seemed like she had a lot for just two measly pockets.

Seeing that the vendor was distracted, the boy began piling hot dog packs, bratwurst packs, hot dog bun packs, small bags of potato chips, soda cans, anything he could get his paws on and threw them into a random sack that he pulled out of nowhere. Well, more like from behind him. But how he made a sack appear from nothing was really something. 

Meanwhile, the girl did everything she could to keep the vendor’s attention on her at all times.

“See, I don’t have it. I only take things that can fit in my pockets,” she explained.

“Fine, so you don’t have it,” the vendor grumbled once more. “But how is it that it hasn’t been missing all day, and then suddenly you show up, and it’s gone?”

“Don’t know. Sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”

The boy was taking an awfully long time. Every time he grabbed a hot dog packet or a bratwurst packet, his stomach lurched – the thought of eating meat was the bane of his existence.

Suddenly, the mustard bottle slipped out of his paws just as he reached for it, and rolled right in front of the girl and the vendor. To make matters even more awkward, the vendor stepped on the bottle and it squirted a dark yellow onto the pavement.  

“Huh? How did that get there…” The vendor turned and finally noticed the boy. The boy let out a startled gasp and shivered where he stood. 

“Um, hey! Wanna see me do a dance?” The girl chirped, trying to divert the vendor’s attention back to her. She then performed a couple of twirls seeing if that'd work, but it was too late. The vendor had already noticed the thief at his stand, her partner in crime.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!” The boy immediately closed the sack and scrambled out of there. “You have to pay for that!”

“Run, Smakko!” The girl cried as she raced after him. As the boy sped off like a frightened hare and the girl caught up to him in seconds, it was clear that the two were related.

Twins.

She was the distraction, and he was what the hot dog vendor should have been looking out for. Now here they were, little dog-monkey rascals that were better off locked up in a zoo than running away with his product.

“When I get my hands on you two, I’ll make sure you’ll get what’s coming to you!” He roared after them. 

“But you have to catch us first!” The girl shouted with a giggle. 

All through the park, the vendor chased after them. The chase felt like it went on for hours with the kids’ insane energy and the vendor’s determination to get his product back. It wasn’t until the kids ran smack dab into an officer minding his own business that they were finally caught. Immediately upon collision, he grabbed the two kids by the scruff of their clothes and held them up like noisy kittens, mostly pertaining to the girl who kicked in defiance while the boy hung there like a wet rag.

“Are these two giving you any trouble?” The officer spoke in what also appeared to be a deep Liverpool accent. He sounded a little like Ringo Starr. For some reason, upon hearing the officer's voice, the girl settled down. 

“You bet! Those mongrels there stole my hot dogs!” The vendor exclaimed, pointing a large index finger at the two. 

“Not like you were using it anyway,” The girl spat.

“Those two need to be taken back to the zoo where they belong!”

“No worries, sir. I’ll take care of them,” The large officer said, eyeing each of them with a stern glare. “Now give the man back his dogs.”

The boy then handed the vendor the giant sack. It seemed lighter than what he thought it would be. “Well appreciated, officer,” the vendor thanked.

He gave the vendor a small wave, “No need for thanks. All in a day’s work."  Then he gave the kids another stern glare. "Let’s go, pups.”

For some reason, as the officer walked off with the two kids curled in his arms, they seemed too content for having just been apprehended. Well, the boy still had that fearful look in his eyes as if it was stuck that way, but the look on the girl’s face was one that was not expected; she seemed too happy. 

The further the vendor walked away from them, the more he realized that the officer himself looked kind of strange. He looked like any other big officer just patrolling the city and keeping the neighborhood peace, yet then he remembered his face...something was off about it. It was pale, almost like it was covered in fur, he had a big red nose, and he had beady black eyes, just like those kids…

Suddenly, he stopped and opened the sack to find that his cart’s product wasn't in there, just a bunch of stuffed rubber dogs that squeaked.  

He’d been duped. Those weird kids and that weird officer were all related and they made off with his hot dogs. He wasn’t going to let them get away with it that easily. The vendor ran right up to them, his face red as the ketchup bottles that were just stolen.  

“Thieves!” He screamed at them. “Who do you think you are?”

The officer then stopped and set the kids down, “Well, I know for a fact that I’m no Bizzie.” 

Suddenly, he tore off the hat to reveal pierced dog-like ears sticking out of a baseball cap that looked like it had been beaten up over the years, especially with that giant bite mark that ate half its bill. Long unkempt black fur-- or it might have been hair-- flowed past his shoulders, while some even jutted out from his hat. Underneath the uniform, he wore a blue sweater covered with a brown leather jacket, torn jeans, and giant white paws that he walked upon just like the two kids. In likeness, this man could have been a rock star had he not had the black and white puppy-dog face like the kids and stuck out his tongue to compliment the look. 

“What are you?!” The vendor shuddered in bewilderment. He couldn’t decide whether he was some mutated dog or probably the ugliest man he had ever seen.

“Why he’s my Daddoo, silly!” The girl giggled. “I’m Jojo,” then she pointed towards the boy identical to her, “and this is my brother, Smakko." Then she held out her arms and posed, while her brother seemed hesitant to follow suit. "And we’re the Warner twins!"

“I don’t care if you were the Olsen twins. I demand that you give me back my hot dogs this instant!"

“I hope you don’t mind me asking,” the man referred to as ‘Daddoo’ asked, “but that wouldn’t happen to be your cart, is it?”

The vendor then turned to see his hot dog cart speeding right towards them. Without a moment to react, the vendor was hit right with the cart and sent flying down the path while the father and his children moved to the side just in time. Luckily for the vendor, the cart didn’t go right into the busy streets of downtown traffic, but it did crash him into a nearby tree, causing the poor man to see hotdogs flying over his head.

“Look sir, your wheel came back,” Jojo pointed out.

“Yes, I see that,” the vendor said dizzily, then passed out.

“Naughty kids,” the father scolded, “who taught you such awful manners?” Then a giant smile appeared on his face, his tongue sticking out once more. 

“Now what do you say to the nice man?”

“Thanks for the hot dogs, sir!” Jojo thanked with a wave. 

“Thank you,” The boy named Smakko only muttered.  

The hot dog vendor perked up from his short comatose just as the father, with both of his strange puppy kids, the girl clinging to him like a koala and the boy clutching the bag filled with his product, walked away. No doubt about it, this was a horrible day, both personally and economically. 

But really, why did it matter? The vendor's cart was surprisingly okay, despite the crash and the strange reappearance of the wheel. Not to mention, there was a lot more product than what the family made off with, but losing those profits was going to hurt him. He'd have to lower the price of those dogs, and bratwursts, and basically everything at his cart just to make up for the stolen product. 

He went to authorities about it, but all they did was laugh, except for one, who seemed to shake in his seat at the mere mention of puppy-kids. Like they were going to be any help. 

Eventually, the hot dog vendor had to shrug off this brash occurrence and continue with his business. People were still going to want hot dogs, and unfortunately be desperate enough to pay ten bucks for it. 

However, this strange moment like a fly in the ear returned to him one day when he was visiting his family. His nieces and nephews were busy watching an old cartoon that he remembered was on when he was a kid called “Animaniacs,” which was considered one of the greatest cartoons of the decade. Of course, he didn’t think much of it now that he was a man in his thirties, but during this particular viewing, there was something that stood out to him.

The three main kids, with those long ears, black-furred with pale white faces, those red noses, and those beady black eyes…they looked exactly like the kids that harassed him at the park. Not to mention, the boy wearing the baseball cap looked exactly like the timid boy who barely spoke a word during their encounter. The boy in the show brimmed with confidence compared to the shy nature of the boy who had the gall to steal his hotdogs, yet had his sister do most of the talking.      

Then another thought occurred to him. The father of those two children also wore a blue sweater, and his head was covered with a red cap similar to the boy’s in the show, except his was worn with age. Then there was that smile, that puppy-dog-looking face with his pink tongue sticking out as if to distract from the fact that he was a freak of nature. He also brimmed with tons of confidence. How could anyone go out in public looking the way he did, with that long unkempt hair, those piercings that bit at his ears, and the strange rock star vibe he gave off just by being near him?           

No, it couldn't be. But maybe? 

Could possibly the middle child, the hungriest, the quietest, and the wackiest of the Warner trio next to his chatty older brother and his sassy younger sister might have grown up into the man he encountered at the park? That strange man with his strange children who were also giant troublemakers like he was. Could possibly the father of those two twins might have been…

Wakko Warner?  

[cheetahsprints]

The Coolest Uncles Alive

Summary: In which one twin wanted to grow up to be a zookeeper and the other nearly got eaten by a large feline. Harry and Cisco didn’t have high hopes for their futures. Words: 1756 A/N: Forgive me for changing the canon. But this is fanfiction? And the show itself doesn't exactly follow the comics to a tee.

Cisco spread his arms. “Behold! Welcome to the Zoo. Lions, Tigers, and Bears oh my!”

Harry huffed in amusement beside him. Cisco lifted one of the twins from his shoulders to the ground. Avery immediately attached to Cisco’s leg. Harry crossed his arms in disapproval. Beside him, Joseph giggled at his facial expression. They were watching the mischievous pair so WestAllen could have a second honeymoon. At the end of the day, Cisco and Harry would probably need a second honeymoon. Cisco was glad neither of them could accidentally get pregnant, not that they wouldn’t be excessively careful.

“Avery Francis West-Allen,” Harry said, cool as a cucumber, “let of your godfather’s leg.”

Avery whined. Joey ignored the scene and started punching the air. He almost punched someone passing by, so Harry held him still.

“Avery. Remember you're a big boy now,” Cisco admonished.

He whined again but detached. He restlessly jumped around, his tutu bouncing. The West-Allens hadn't known what the gender of their other baby would be, so Harry gifted them some of Jesse’s old clothes. Avery was also wearing a “Daddy’s little princess” shirt. They couldn't figure out how Avery found them. No one was going to police a four-year-old child on what to wear, though. Or anyone for that matter, who needed enforced gender roles? The shirt wasn’t surprising, since Avery aggressively idolized regal female characters, especially Moana, Shuri, Mulan, and Diana Prince. Cisco didn’t know if Avery had a single clue about ballet.

Joey had nicked Avery’s favorite T-shirt of the Ninja turtle Donatello. Joey lived to annoy his sibling.

They were almost identical at first glance. But Joey had a pointier nose and green eyes. Avery’s eyes leaned more toward brown, and his nose was set wider. The rest of his face had a stronger resemblance to Barry, though it was hard to tell past the lingering baby-fat, with a round chin and angular cheekbones.

“Can we visit elephants?” Joey asked. Except it sounded like ellie-pants.

Avery protested, “I want to see the caramels!”

“Camels,” Harry said.

“Campbell’s,” Avery tried to mimic. Harry shrugged and gave up.

“We’ll get to those both,” Cisco promised.

They passed monkeys, gorillas, elephants, bears, zebras, camels and crocodiles. When they reached the petting zoo, Joey tugged on Cisco’s shirt hem.

“Are the animals sad all locked up?”

Cisco tapped his head and thought out his answer. “Well, they're well fed, with easy access to medicine. Room to roam and places to hide. Plus they're safe from meanies who'd hurt or sell them.”

Joey blinked a few times and smiled. “That's good.”

Joey moved on to the petting zoo, Avery skipping merrily behind him. They had fun, while Harry laughed at Cisco getting chased around by a goat. He fell on his ass, and soon all the children were guffawing with delight. He dusted himself off.

“I am done with the zoo,” Cisco complained. Harry fixed his curls and pecked him on the lips.

“Yuck kissy face!” Avery shouted. Harry grabbed at him, but he quickly dodged. Joey bolted after him. Cisco and Harry trudged after them into the gift shop.

They found that Joey had already found a stuffed elephant. It was roughly the size of his body. Harry was indulgent and brought it to the counter without question. Along with wolf ears. Avery wanted two pairs of cat ears and a little zookeeper outfit. Cisco lifted it with a raised eyebrow.

“I is gonna be the best a minimal - I mean, animal keeper when I is big,” Avery lisped.

“I am,” Harry corrected gently. His mouth tilted toward a frown.

“You’re already big and a scientist,” Avery said, placing his hands on his hips. Harry didn't know why he tried.

“Are you sure you don't want to be a scientist too? Maybe a reporter? Or an astronaut?”

Avery stared at him expressionless. He stated slowly like Cisco was extra dumb, “I wanna. Be a. Zoo. Keeper.”

Cisco nodded. “Okay, okay. Nothing wrong with that.”

Harry ushered everyone out of the store. Once outside, Joey put his wolf ears on. He cupped his hands around his mouth and howled. Harry shook his head. He attempted to push the elephant off on Cisco. He held up a hand.

“You bought it, you carry it.”

Avery put on the cat ears and handed a pair to Harry. He sighed unhappily but slipped them on. Cisco snorted into his hand, and Harry flicked his ear.

They came up on the cheetahs. The pair of spotted cats watched them. Cisco loosed a breathy “hah-hah” at the information plate. The male was named Kitty Flash, the female ironically was Diana the Wonder-Cat. Joey pointed with his mouth open. “It's like Duma!”

Harry gave Cisco a look, and Cisco scratched the back of his neck. It was a fine film for kids, with his supervision. Joey may have stayed up too late and had too much sugar, who was to know. Avery had fallen asleep twenty minutes in. Cisco pushed his curls out of his face, long and wild as they were. They just fell back in place.

Avery argued, “No, no they're like Fuli from the Lion Guard!”

“That show sucks,” Joey grumped.

“Your face sucks Jojo!”

“That's enough,” Harry said firmly.

The twins were quiet but continued to glower at each other. Cisco had to intervene before they started a poking war or something. He bundled his hair and pulled it over the front of one shoulder. Harry had convinced him a while ago to let it grow out more. He was beginning to doubt the wisdom in catering to his husband’s obsession.

“The cheetah is the fastest land animal, aside from your dad. Their enlarged hearts and lungs help them,” Cisco informed them. He was just summarizing the name plate. “And they use their tails to make sharp turns.”

Their attention turned on him. They looked eager for more. Cisco floundered. He didn’t actually know a lot about cheetahs. Luckily, Harry came to his rescue.

“Cheetahs are naturally nervous and shy -”

“Like that kid Billy in our class?”

“Sure. They will introduce them to a dog as a companion at a young age. The cheetah reads their vibe to know how to behave.”

Avery touched his cat ears. “I'm a cheetah now! Can I get a puppy?”

Cisco shared a concerned look with Harry. Then he said, “That’s a question for your parents kiddo.”

“My birthday is soon,” Avery whispered excitedly.

“Our birthday. Our puppy,” Joey chimed in.

“Wazzat? I do not talk to dummies who say lion guard sucks.”

He turned away to watch the cheetahs. Joey stuck his tongue out. One of the cats had come rather close. It sat down, ears flicking. Avery waved. He pointed his finger and tried to count the spots. The wind picked up suddenly. Cisco wrestled his hair into a ponytail. He always kept the bands in his pockets. Harry palm pressed to the back of his neck. He gestured at the stand selling various sweet treats.

“Who wants ice cream?” Cisco asked.

“Mommy sayed I can't eat ice cream. Cos it came back up and daddy didn’t like wearing it,” Avery said absently, still counting the spots. “Eleven… twelve… wait what’s after twelve?” The cheetah licked its paw and swiped over its ear. Avery gave up counting and imitated the action.

“Cotton candy then. Both are right past the enclosure.”

“Race me,” Joey said. “If you win you don't gotta speak to me, if I win then you gotta.”

Cisco wasn't sure he was a fan of that wager. But at least it might mean less bickering in the car. He doubted Avery could hold out that long though.

“Get ready to lose to Josie the fastest cheetah ever!”

Joey scoffed, “That sounds like a girl name.”

“Cos it is, genius.”

Joey nodded sagely. “I see.”

They got into position. Cisco and Harry followed sedately as they ran off on their tiny legs. Joey stumbled halfway there, and Avery won. Cisco bought his cotton candy and strawberry ice cream for Joey. By the end, Joey's face was covered in smudges of ice cream.

“You were supposed to eat that, not wear it,” Harry admonished. Joey giggled and wiped some onto Harry’s nose. Cisco smirked. When the kids weren't looking, he licked it off.

Meanwhile, Avery managed to get cotton puffs in his hair. Joey had disappeared in the blink of an eye. Cisco and Harry glared at Avery questioningly, as though he vanished his brother by sheer force of will.

He said in a small voice, “Joey want to be friends with the Fulis.”

Cisco and Harry had never ran so fast in their lives. They almost forgot to grab Avery. Harry carried him parallel to the ground. He wrapped himself around Harry’s leg when they reached the enclosure. Cisco gasped and covered his mouth at the sight. Harry just face-palmed.

Cisco uttered, “Joseph Henry West-Allen. If the cats don't get him, I will.”

“I'm too old for this.”

By some unexpected willfulness, Joey had found his way into the cheetah enclosure. He was creeping toward a sleeping cat. The other one was watching him like a hawk. Its tail whipped side to side. Unlike dogs, that was not a friendly gesture.

“Shit, shit, satan damned hell,” Cisco shouted. Harry groaned in agreement, not lifting his head. Several parents and assorted guardians shot him scandalized looks. He didn't care. There was nothing else for it. He breached right in front of the cheetah preparing to pounce. He was greeted with semi-retractable claws in his shoulders. Cisco wasn’t braced for the pure force, knocking him to the ground. However, it seemed to decide he was too big of a fish to fry. It collapsed beside him and started purring. He thanked the speed force and grabbed up Joey, kicking and screaming.

Cisco swore he’d buy the twins a puppy if they kept the incident quiet. Avery managed to barter an additional kitten out of him. Avery leapt into his arms and hugged him. Joey copied him, but with Harry, who was barely able to balance him. Joey gave Harry a kiss on his chin with the “mwah” sound effect.

“Did this make you change your mind about kids?” Harry asked.

“Nope. Not at all, no.”

“Good,” Harry said. “Keeping up with you is challenge enough, sweetheart.”

Cisco threaded their fingers. Harry smiled fondly and kissed his cheek.

Joey added emphatically, “But you're the coolest uncles in the world.”